I’m confussed. Your up set cause she hand made your neice and nefew a sweater each and bought your 2 year old son a toy. I think your son scored at 2 I would much like better a toy. I think your more hurt over this then your son, and yes seeing the other kids change he probley wanted to change as well. Kids that young only notice what parents teach them to notice and think. I wouldn’t do anything right now. Maybe your sister in law when asked what the kids needed for christmas said sweaters. Honestly my husband comes from a family whee they do favorites. My husband was his great Grandmother’s fav, my middle son was his great Grandmother’s favorite. I was my Grandmother’s fav on my mom side on my dad’s side my older cousin was. Really it didn’t do any harm to any of us or mine and my husbands siblings nor any of our children.
Draw a line in the Sand. Make and send them some "homemade brownies w/ exlax) anonymous of course 
paybacks are hell ( yes, I am that momma)
He’s 2…trust me he wants the toy more than a handmade shirt or quilt
I understand, this Christmas my daughter who is 3 got an outfit from her Grandpa and my nephew’s 4 and 1 got toys. She was really upset watching them open and play with toys and she didn’t get to play. It made me sad to see her sad. I didn’t make a big deal though
I bet you think everyone should get a trophy when playing a sport.
He got a gift. This has nothing to do with your son. These are all your feelings. He got a toy one that I bet he played or is still playing with.
Tell your toddler he got a TOY 
Ugh, you are spoiling him too much. She doesn’t need to get him the same thing!
I would let my hubs address it how he sees fit because it’s his family. If you two are on the same page, he would know exactly what to do. If he doesn’t agree with you (that it’s not right) then I’d keep my children safe from that and my children and I would stay home for the holidays.
Right now it may seem small and petty because its clothing that she is talking about but it only gets worse from there. I have dealt with two sets of grandparents that show favouritism and its not right. Later on it’ll be missed outings and blantant disregard of the child’s feelings.
Have you tried talking to you MIL? I really son’t have advice except if it gets too bad you may have to just cut ties. Your child’s well being is more important.
It sounds like the mom hopes effort and consideration to be put into the gifts, not easy randomness. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to be treated equally.
I’m a mama of five and I can promise you,no kid would rather have clothing over toys…Lol.
Nope don’t tolerate it! My mom did this to me my whole life and now she is starting to do it to my kids. I finally put my foot down and cut her out of my life. I told her if things change we can talk. You are the only voice your baby has so stick up for them to family or not!
When it comes to protecting your child from things like this stick to your guns. My mother use to do this with my kids(3 girls/3 boys). My oldest would get a ton of stuff, my girls would get 3 or 4 things and my boys usually a shirt and a book. I told her if she didnt want to treat them the same she would not be able to give them gifts.
My sister done that same with my kids and I just don’t see or talk to her
I would let him handle it
Girl. Maybe it’s cuz he’s 2 and they think he’d like whatever they give him more than whatever handmade gift they made?
Maybe they can only afford to buy him a gift?
I wouldn’t done the same thing you did.
Just leave it alone with my 2 grandma they favorit their other grandkids n we were left alone n grew up happy it is their lost when ur kids will grow up
My grandma was that way she got. My cousin’s necklaces and sweaters for Christmas we got socks and underwear.we never understood why.?
Who’s the kid you,or your son?He got a gift,that makes him lucky.Have you thought that maybe she was thinking about what he might want,or how not to upset him.A toy id better that toys.Maybe she doesn’t know his size if she doesn’t see him as much.Maybe she knows she can’t win with you no matter what.She might favor her other daughter in law because she doesn’t whine about stuff.
Theres only one thing i can say about this.
Fuck her.
I will not r÷ad all that bullshit! Get a hold of yourself…
Well 1st off I would communicate like an adult with the grandma. She can’t possibly know your feelings if you don’t let her know how you feel. She may have just thought your son would prefer a toy over a shirt.
Petty now? Maybe… So instead of causing drama just eliminate yrself from it all. If I was in yr shoes…I would have hyped up the toy he did recieve to the fillest and loud. Played with it with him all over the place and focused on him and made it a point that he dont need the same as the others…that he is blessed with or without that materialistic crap. I know it hurts u as a momma to see what goes down…but he is little and maybe wont see it that way…so dont put too much energy in the negative…
Since when is a toddler disappointed he got a toy instead of clothing?? Your child is fine. Perhaps You are too sensitive? Maybe mil doesn’t feel YOU would appreciate the work it takes to make a quilt (it’s alot, btw) or to knit things…
Look Im totally with you. I’d snap of my fiance’s parents suddenly began treating my son like he was beneath them, but they’ve been fair since the get go. But I’ve been through this with actual family. Tell them that this favoritism shit is for the birds and stop dealing with them because that’s horseshit.
When someone knows the answer please tell me lol 
I’ve been trying to figure this out!
Your son is lucky that he got something because my baby has never got a thing, not even a toy from my in-laws.
My mom favors my son and dislikes my daughter. She has been like this my whole life. My son is 19 and my daughter is 5 with health problems. She wasn’t supposed to be here, she has 3 holes in heart plus other things. I thought my mom would at least try to be around for her. Nope it’s all about my brother (40) and my son (19).
I would tell her to treat your kid the same as your sisters kids or she wont see him anymore
Just stop going. Went through this as a child and trust me it hurts still to this day that I got treated differently.
I hate favoritism. Tell them same treatment or no Christmas with her
Yea look I’ve said if you play favorites with my kids then you miss out. I am hoping this doesn’t happen anymore. It is hard as with my family i have had a son from a previous relationship sonwe could be hit double by this. I would try to avoid the situation and i would be telling my partner you need to tell them this is not on and if it continues you will no longer be in their life.
Did you ask her to make your son something handmade? I not then don’t complain. My kids greatgrandma asks what to get them every year and I always ask her to make them a blanket or pyjamas etc he got a toy at least, if he missed out completely that’s understandable but I think you’re just being petty
To everyone calling her a child, think about this. Yes the child got a toy but at the same time he saw his cousins or what they are to him get a special shirt from grandma and maybe since he saw them get one maybe just maybe he would be upset that he didn’t get one from grandma? It’s not her being upset that her child didn’t get the same gift it’s her being upset because she had to see her child be upset on christmas because he thought he was going to get something special from grandma and he didn’t. At this point hes a 2 year old he wants what other people have. And yes if it was a toy maybe he would have wanted the toy but it was something homemade from grandma which he hasn’t gotten but the others did.
Say it out loud.
“Grandma didn’t make the effort to make you a shirt, my love. She does differently for them, than with you”. The sooner your kids notice, the sooner you can stop bothering!
She can either treat the kids the same or not see your son anymore.
I choose talking to grandma first. I’m not sure if she knows how it comes across. Communication is important. I had the opposite problem. My kids seemed to be favorites and the youngest got more favoritism. I cld only explain to my kids but the favoritism created problems. I wld explain that grandma didn’t realize she was being unfair then explain she kind of liked the babies. In your case, make sure you are right. I wld try to talk to her how your son is reacting, why and go from there.
I certainly would not be taking my child back for any reason. If/when they call, let them know the reason
I, unfortunately, didnt stick up enough for my son when my mother didn’t treat my daughter and son fairly. I constantly made up excuses for why things weren’t fair. He grew up knowing that she didnt like him as much as his sister. I now wish I would have confronted her and told her to treat them the same or she wouldn’t see them.
Some plp do not realize how hurtful they have been,then when their older .they wonder why don’t they ever call or come see me… It’s all messed up!
To the woman that posted this, IAM very sorry you are going through this, I pray it stops.
Always talk first… communication…if nothing changes then take necessary steps to have your own special occasions
I wouldnt go over there for Christmas anymore, dont even buy gifts.
Terrible I wouldn’t be going back we have 5 and never ever could I treat them different
Don’t take him over there any more kids notice and feel things and that’s very hurtful for them to feel like like there not loved like the others that is so sad to treat kids different than the others it’s heartbreaking 
and they notice it and feel it to how sad
Tell her u want to come at a different time then the rest of the family, that way your child doesn’t know what they got and his dwellings r saved
It’s really not worth it to worry about it. My mother in law favors my sister in laws kids. She buys them stuff all the time, babysits all the time. She sees my kids a lot but I don’t ask her to watch them unless I have no choice only because I take care of my own. I don’t have anyone else to help. My dads mother was the same with my brother and me, she favored her daughters kid. It seems like it’s a mother/daughter thing. Like they feel the kids aren’t as close since their daughter didn’t have them. Fortunately I have all girls lol.
I’m going to explain what is going on here truthfully. She doesn’t like you and is passive aggressive. She is using your child to hurt and make you angry. It’s vindictive and narcissistic to say the least. Cut them off or be a straight up b##ch momma bear and lay down the law with grandma. You set the rules your the mother, grandma doesn’t.
I know a grandma that charges for baby sitting one grandchild and watches the other five for free. Not right at all. She shows a differents in the little one she charges.
And if your son would have gotten a tshirt you’d be bitching about him not getting a toy.
You’re looking for things to complain about.
My in-laws play favorites with the grandchildren. My grandmother played favorites too. My mom taught me this: you are blessed to have family. If you think grandma doesn’t love you as much as she loves the others, you’re correct. However focus on the good times, love her because she’s your grandmother, if you’re angry that’s ok but find it in tour heart to forgive her. By the time I was 17 my grandmother adored me. Was I her favorite? Nope but I found a place in her heart and I’m so grateful to mom for teaching me this because I love my grandmother dearly and I know she loved me too. I would have lost out on all of it if she would have pulled me away from her at a young age. Give him a chance to win her over. He’s 2, he doesn’t understand anyway. He might one day and it might not matter to him. My kids love my in laws and they play favorites, they aren’t hurt over it because I taught them what my mom taught me. I love that they love their grandparents and forgive them for how they behave. They have to live with it, not you. You teach your kids to love and forgive.
Your sister is right you can’t make people treat your son right but that doesnt mean you have to put up with it either when the next function rolls around tell them your family (yourself husband and kid) won’t be going and when they ask why tell them why and give examples, also tell your husband if he wants to go then go but you wont be subjecting yourself and your son to the blatant favoritism anymore because it’s to hurtful and your son is starting to realise what’s happening example the Christmas shirt incident
Sounds like your husband needs to have a talk with mother
I cannot imagine a parent or grandparent favoring one over the other even if their life depended it! How could you possibly? Each one is especially loved for their uniqueness, individuality, and just plain no reason at all other than them just being them. That said, as I did with my children, I make a list for my grandchildren at Christmas. It looks something like a spread sheet with their names across the top. Aligned under each name are gifts of equal number and value for each child. I even try to make them each the same size. I don’t think it really matters to them. I don’t think they even know what gift came from me or from great aunt so and so. But it matters to me because I love each of them so much, what I do for one, I want to do for the others.
Now, every once in a while that goes unintentionally awry. Yesterday, the youngest was visiting me and saw a small metal heart box she liked. My sister had given it to me earlier in the day as a gift box for a necklace. The little one spotted the box and liked it, so I gave it to her. She was alone, but I had a moment of inner struggle if it would be fair to let her have the box when I had nothing like it to send to back to the other grands. The thought of a teachable moment for BOTH of us ran through my mind, and I gave her the box; things may not always be absolutely fair in life, AND sometimes you will be special as an individual and not just a group. Anyway, I figure the same is sure to happen with each of the other kids at some point and it will balance out. Of course her older sister was upset when she found out. I felt terrible. It’s a tricky balance for a parent or grandparent to do the same for all, and still create some individual moments with each child.
Funny end to the heart box story though. A few minutes after she was gifted the box, she came to me with it spread open in her tiny, 3 yr old hands and says, “Bella, this needs to have some chocolate put in it!”
I wouldn’t mind 
Parents have favorites, so do grandparents. That’s life, sounds like jealousy. Just tell your kid/kids that they got something different. Don’t compare .
A lot of you women are focusing on the fact that he got a toy, and not on the fact that the grandma put in a lot of effort and time into making something handmade and meaningful for the other two kids, and couldn’t be bothered to do the same for her other grandchild. Some kids do prefer toys, but it’s not about that at all. It’s about the blatant disregard of time and effort she put into her other grandchilds gift. If I were you momma, I’d confront her, and if nothing changes stop dealing with them all together.
I grew up with a mom who showed everyone that my younger sister was her favorite.
A FEW examples:
My prom dress was an off-the-rack dress shirt bought from a “flea market style” shopping center, while my younger sister had a formal dress especially made by a couturier.
When buying clothes, I would get enough money to buy one dress while she gets enough for two.
Once when I attended a reunion with my mom, (I was the only one willing to wake up early and go with her), my uncle who had migrated to the US and just flew in to attend the reunion saw me and said, “Wow, Marnie, is that you? You’re so grown up, and so beautiful!”
My mom hastily answered, “She’s nothing! Wait til you see Bubbles!” (My younger sister.) “SHE’s the one who’s beautiful!”
I just laughed it all off, because, years before, when I was young and affected by my mom’s obvious favoritism, (I was around 7 or 8…), I spoke to my dad about it.
He said something that I still apply today.
He GENTLY said, “So what? You know what you’re worth. The fact that your mom likes you less doesn’t take away from your real value.”
So to this day, when people look down on me, or don’t appreciate me, I shrug it off and say “SO WHAT? I know what I’m worth. I don’t need other people to validate me.”
And to answer questions you might have, I love my mother dearly. I harbor no resentment.
My younger sister? Yes, I love her! In fact, she’s one of my best friends.
I think it would serve your son better to face the obvious favoritism, and be equipped to handle it at an early age, to prepare him to deal with an even more cruel world when he grows up. 
Don’t celebrate Christmas with them. Go for holiday dinner but not opening presents. You could bring something similar and say ‘Oh yours is right here’ and stare at her while he opens it!!! Santa picked this out for you. Ages of niece and nephew? Coming from a poor family handmade is cheaper than purchasing. Quilts take a long time to make, my Mom made one each year so your son’s might be coming? My younger siblings did get toys. Maybe MIL needs suggestions for your son what to get or make? Not sticking up for her as my Grandma was yuk. Grandpa would usually buy himself for me.
Stop going when she asks why tell her the truth I wont subject my child to favoritism until you can treat him as an equal to his cousins you don’t get to see him. I have dealt with being treated differently than my sibling it still hurts me to this day
Perhaps because of the falling outs that you’ve all had and the distance that resulted, she is simply closer to the other grandchildren? Maybe making an effort to bridge that gap will allow Grandma to form a stronger bond with your child. Good luck
Oh heck no!!! I wouldn’t be going back ever unless grandma can show the same kind of love they all deserve. I could never do that with my grandchildren, never!! Until things change I wouldn’t invite them to any get together or your sons birthday, he deserves equal love from everyone in the family. It really breaks my heart, good luck and stand your ground with this. 
I wouldn’t take my child there again, at least not when gifts are involved. But for me I would just not take him at all.
Spend your time with people who love your son and make an effort.
Been thru this. Brought it to their attention which in return caused an argument. We stopped talking to them for months.
I would just cut them off. For an adult to intentionally hurt a child’s feelings like that is not acceptable, poor kid. If it were my kid, they would never see or hear from me and my kid again!
If that was my baby. I would had told him. It’s ok. Those shirts are ugly anyways. And take him home. And never go back. He’s 2 he will forget them quickly
Talk to your mil about it, and if you can’t resolve it, have Christmas at home or with your side of the family instead. If you HAVE to take your son to your in-laws, bring a present of some sort to give him when the other kids get theirs.
Ready solution is to stop going over there or inviting them. If they can’t act the way they should or be respectful then they don’t need to be around
I 
relate. Not only with my in-laws but with my own family. I can’t stand favoritism… I’ve pretty much just built my daughter’s own “family”. They may not be blood, but they show more love for her than any biological ever has. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know how much it hurts. Blessed be 
Nope, I wouldn’t go. I wouldn’t put my child in a situation where they will be made to feel less than the others. Make your own family tradition and have fun without them.
Give him the best present of all a happy mummy and daddy make him feel that his toy is just as special I know what you mean but its with my kids uncle spoils the oldest all the time while the others just sit back and get teased about what she got so I had to stop it because me buying for the others would just be hurtful for the older one
Stop bringing him around her period 
. Save him the hurt he will soon be at the age to understand!
I’d stop taking him there…I went thru this for years myself as a kid…my stepmom kid got savings bonds n I girl quarters…every year…my mom now favors my sisters kids over mine. I’m always there for her for anything…she got out of hospital I was there to feed n care for her not my sister, she got put out in housing I bought her furniture not her…n she still treats us like shit…I have to pay her to babysit her own grandkids but she raised my sisters for 15 yrs while she lived with them carefree…she made them popcorn n icecream while my kids sat n wat hed then est cuz there "wasnt enuf "…she literally to this day has a storage of brand new unopened xmas presents for my niece n nephew n tells mine she didnt have money…it killed me to see their heartbroken faces n hear their sad questions…so I took then away from her…they dont miss her or ask about her n she doesn’t ask about them. Wouldn’t change a thing. Children deserve to be loved not abused their innocence keeps then pure…they dont need her negativity n I’m sorry to say she won’t change…my heart breaks for your baby so give him all the love n attention he needs…that’s all he needs! I’ll never force my kids to love anyone that don’t love them! Good luck hun
My own Mother pitted my blood brother sons against each other. 
She would go shopping, one got something expensive and the other usually nothing. I told her I didnt expect her to buy them both something when she went shopping, but by dern, acknowledge the other once in awhile… It was heart breaking at times…
You dont have to say anything. Seems it’s been said once and they didnt care. Unless they reach out I wouldnt worry about it and keep on keepin on! They will see your family if they want to if not no big deal. I wouldnt go to family functions unless the offer was PERSONALLY extended to me and my son. If they keep acting like that just move along. Negative is not necessary!
I don’t go places I’m not wanted ESPECIALLY when it comes to my kids. I won’t force my kids on anyone. We wouldn’t be at family events. Go to your side of the family for holidays or have holidays at home. This will cause division as the kids get older and it’s not fair to them. Treating a kid badly because you have an issue with the parents is petty and childish. They wouldn’t see my son unless they called for him or came to my house to visit. There is no rule that says you need to be involved with his family. You’ve addressed it. Let it go and love on your baby.
People think that kids dont know theyre being treated differently from other kids. But this is definitely not true. I know from personal experience that kids know the difference. And when those same kids get older, they dont want nothing to do with those same people. And then they wonder why said kids dont visit them. Trust me when i say those same grandparents gonna look stupid when your son dont wanna see them when he gets older.
It sucks feeling this way, I felt it as a child, eventually I had to accept things weren’t going to change. It’s just how things were. My father didnt see it, but I felt it. I eventually had to have a very big talk with him about how he was favoring my brother over me and almost 10+ years later we are just starting to have a relationship again.
Try a one on one with her. Beat the horse till it is good and dead. Some people need repetition to figure things out I had the same talk 5 times over the course of 2 years with my father before he finally was willing to accept he was favoring my brother. If it’s a time crunch she is under maybe letting her know ANYTHING made by her for him would be special. Not only for you, but so he has something made for him by her. I hope she realizes how you feel or explains how she doesnt see it. So sorry.
That’s sad I’ve seen worse limit your child’s exposure to her. Its not favorite kids it’s you. She’s not happy with her son’s choices in life.
My husband and I bought our nieces and nephews stuff for Christmas…but nobody else thought of our kids…I told my kids ahead of time…nobody got you anything for Christmas…so don’t expect anything… they asked why not…I said that’s just how it is…giving is better than receiving 
I stopped going to my in laws for this very same kind of reason, my kids were nothing and it showed. My children are now adults and to this day I refuse to go to my in laws. Why put your child through that kind of heartbreak? Don’t say anything, just stop going, and if your husband isn’t speaking up, He is the biggest part of the problem.
My parents do the same crap with my brother’s kids and grandkids. They have a secret Christmas. My kids got a $10 target gift card. My kids are old enough they don’t care anymore. Just ticks me off. Keep your sweet baby away from that nonsense
I seriously hate when anyone does this to a child. How can u not love all the grandkids the same??? Never gave understood this and never will. I would be upset too. It’s her lost tho. She’s the one without any common sense.
My father is the same way. I have gotten to the point where I’ve cut the majority of my family off 100% because of this and what makes it worse is that he does it between my two children. He’s made it 100% clear that my son is his favorite, even going so far as saying so out loud in front of my daughter as well as my brother’s FOUR children. He’s a POS and I don’t play the games. I told him if he wanted to keep doing that then he as no longer welcome. Period.
In order to protect my son from the same thing I wrote a letter to my father telling him that my son could not and would not experiencing the pain of preferential treatment. Therefore, until that was remedied, we could not participate in family events in which he was part of. I asked that he acknowledge my concern and tell me that he would end it. He didn’t contact me so we don’t attend family events. If he wants time with us he’s more than welcome but I’ll not allow my son to be pushed aside
Don’t put yourself or your son through that. He will have plenty of dealings with toxic people throughout his lifetime.
Start ur own traditions at home with whatever family members u care for or just u guys. U cant force family love but u can prevent your son from growing up feeling some type of way about or twords his grandmother. Plain and simple stay away and see who really gets hurt. U can always send ur niece and nephew gifts before or after and the can have their playdates or whatever without the show
Been there And still going thru it! I let my boys make there own decision! My oldest is 16 and my youngest is 8! They know who loves them! Don’t go around them or talk to them!
Had a similar issue like this with my mother-in-law. My girls were getting clearance items from Big Lots & Walmart, toys that were either broken or the boxes were damaged. And my sister-in-law’s kids were getting PlayStation’s, remote control cars and baby dolls. Then were told they “had better not touch the toys because they always break stuff”. I finally said that if my girls have to look at their stuff and ask questions like they were that Christmas, we won’t celebrate Christmas anymore. Well, my MIL opted to stop talking to us before Thanksgiving. So I got my answer.
People choose to gift what they like. It’s not like they are excluding your son. If you have already had a falling out and have not resolved anything, just stay away. Let your husband handle his family and if he chooses not to, and wants to keep visiting with his son, allow it. Make your own memories with your child and never beg for anybody to do more than they choose to. You cannot control other people’s feelings.
I am going thru a similar situation. My mil has always favorited my sis in law over my husband and our entire family. I never really got on the middle until my sis in law had a child and my mil is now showing favoritism against my kids. When i told her how i felt and how my kids felt she cut me off and told my husband i wasnt welcome at her house for holidays. I’m pretty much to the point where I’m done with her and my sis in law.
We started our own family traditions. And I’ll be honest…we don’t miss the petty snubbing, whispers when we leave the room, or backhanded compliments. Do what you feel will be best for your family.
Same thing happens to my kids, my mom takes my sisters kids out to lunch or dinner or on special trips but we only hear about it when someone slips up. I always tell my kids that they are loved by me so much that they don’t need anyone else. I refuse to keep them in that situation so we don’t talk to my mom very often. Mind you my niece and nephew are 18 and 15 and my kids are 18 and 16 so it’s been going on most of their lives.
Stay away from them. I’m sure that your son enjoyed the toy more than a shirt. For whatever reason, the grandma, and sister in law feel the need to ruffle your feathers. I’d stay away from them on a permanent basis. If you continue to allow your son to be around people like this, he’ll eventually pick up on it.
I wouldn’t keep your son away. It’s not his fault. At his age I’m sure that he would like a toy more than a shirt anyways. This seems more of an issue between you and your MIL. I would try to talk to her and see if you can have some sort of relationship for the sake of your husband and your son
I don’t know, because my children were not around when my parents gave presents to my brother’s children. They are adults now and don’t care.
Since my mother would not be seen with my “bastard” son (her words, not mine), I have never subjected either them or her and my dad to each other. This way she wasn’t obligated to EVER get anything for anyone.
As a mother in law I feel I do good at keeping things fair between my five granddolls … but I will have to say 2 of the families keep us in their lives make us part of their lives , invite us to outings and dinners and holidays and everyday things to be part of their lives . So it is easier knowing what they like and know their interest.
I tell all of them we don’t know their schedules so as trying not to be needy and mess up theirs plans let us know when they can spend time with us .
WE will always want the time .
My mother in law has always treated the others better. It sucks to see the pain in their eyes. So sad. She started this with her great grands. That’s when I said bullshit. I’m done. She hardly see’s my children or grand children.
Sad people treat others like this. I would never go back. It’s time to start your own Christmas tradition
Are you sure it’s you that are not happy with the gifts. I don’t think the kids really care. Why worry about who favoring who and you bringing things up around is only causing their being hurt. Should teach your kids to be grateful for what is given to them. You are only teaching them to complain about these silly things.
I don’t care who you are everybody has a favorite grandchild that there closer to through spiritual Aura love no matter what it is the set of one grandchild or to the next there’s always the one.
And you all be lying if you say you treat all your grandchildren the same lol