There son is 7 they should be over the sensitive stage of people asking and saying stuff, my son is 9 and autistic he also doesn’t really like kids coming near him or playing with him, kids ask me what’s wrong with him all the time, they aren’t trying to be offensive, kids are just blunt like that . Also you can’t really explain autism in one convo just give him the basic speech of all people are different and work in different way some people are disabled because they legs don’t work and others have invisible ones in there brain.
As a mom of an autistic child, it wasn’t insulting. Children don’t understand differences and need help understanding the situation.
It’s our job as adults/parents to help guide them in reacting properly to the situation at hand and for in the future.
Jeez father of child with autism needs to also learn young kids just blurt out whatever and don’t understand yet. he needs to grow up and for his child’s sake. They must treat their autistic child great …. (Sarcasm)
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This is 100% on the other parents. The mother needs a reality check if she was that upset by a 5 year old saying he doesn’t understand her child. Also, for her to refer to her own autistic child as “not a normal child,” she’s certainly not doing anyone a favor by using that language. There’s no such thing as a “normal” child and every child is different. Quite honestly I would work on explaining special needs to your 5 year old in your own way and in a way he will understand, over time; maybe suggest to the other mom that there are lots of support groups for special needs parents since it sounds like she’s struggling with her sons diagnosis
As the mother of an autistic child your sister-in-law‘s being ridiculous a five-year-old is not gonna automatically understand and that is a perfectly normal question for a five-year-old to ask what’s wrong with him he doesn’t wanna play with me completely normal five-year-old response your sister-in-law having an autistic child should take some training and go to some classes and meet up with some groups with some other autistic moms so maybe we can teach her how to handle the situation when other children come up and ask what’s wrong with your child lots of children throughout the years have asked me what’s wrong with my son. I take that as an opportunity to explain what autism and 100% of the time every single kid that I have explained accepts it right away and understands. Funny thing is the kids usually understand a whole lot better than some of the rude ass adults out there.
Your brother and your sister-in-law are being extremely overly sensitive about a five-year-old making a comment about hey what’s wrong with my cousin he doesn’t wanna play it was an innocent question and they are over reacting be thankful that they don’t come over very often. And maybe she should look into some autism awareness support groups to teach her how to overcome questions regarding her son because through his life there are going to be many questions and there’s gonna be many circumstances where people do not understand my son is now 20 years old she has a lifetime of questions ahead of her￼￼￼￼￼￼
After 7 years of having an autistic child you would think they would be more understanding. Your child is much to young to understand why his cousin doesn’t want to play. See if there are any children’s books out there that could help him understand. I feel bad for you having to deal with this. Please let you BIL and SIL know this was not intentional on your 5 year old part.
To preface this…I am a mom to an one autistic child with severe ADHD. He has friends that also have autism. My youngest kiddo has SPD and ADHD.
I’m going to number to keep my thoughts in order this is no way to be hateful to you or about the situation.
- Every parent is different. Some are much more sensitive to the subject than others. More often than not it’s because they’ve endured a lot of harshness from the outside world (think strangers at the store, teachers, other family, other parents) it gets very grating and becomes painful…they tend to be a little too defensive because of it.
- while I would agree that your 5 year old obviously didn’t understand the situation they haven’t been able to slow themselves down enough to think rationally. That’s not your fault and it’s not your child’s fault. You’ve already apologized.
- sit the parents down. Remind them that your child is 5 and hasn’t been around their son much. He wasn’t trying to make fun but was wondering if he had something that made his cousin not want to play. Tell them you are planning to talk to your child about autism in general and specifically pertaining to their son. Ask them what they would like you/him to know. Ask them what he likes to play so your son knows in the future.
- Sit down with your child and have a conversation about what autism is in a inclusive, friendly, type of way. Talk to him about his cousin and why he acts like he does (for example anxious and overstimulated) and give him tips on how to play with cousin next time they meet.
If this isn’t good enough for the parents then there isn’t much you can do…and that’s ok. I wouldn’t worry or take it to heart after that.
Wait the baby is 5 all he seen was his cousin clapping and running around the house he thought he want to play with him he didn’t see a child with a problem your brother in law better get ready this world is mean and I’m sure someone else isn’t going to understand why your nephew has a disability you husband first im sorry should of been enough the next person os not going to say nothing your bro in law and sisters may need a support group to understand people hurt people but your son was trying to play what kids do
Well yours son is super young like that should be acceptable.
Autism means they think and do things differently. They may love clapping
Actually there’s a Pixar for this and it does show how some people with Autism are. “Loop”
Of course people can show in many ways and differences
I dont think your son was being rude. He was just saying he didnt know what was wrong, and then stated what he observed. You literally cpuldnt have prepared him for this because if we prepared our kids for everything they wouldnt be able to live their lives as children. So, you just tslk to your son and let him know people are different, some have different skin, some have different looks, some talk and love people and some don’t. Ask him to ask you questions when he sees something/hears something he doesn’t understand. Autism in my opinion is hard to explain, because there are so many differnet levels on the spectrum. So the only thing you csn do is say your cousin has something called Autism. And in some people/children they are how you seen your cousin. (Hand clapping- whatever he may have noticed or mentioned outside of that.) And not really wanting to play with you. It’s different for everyone. Remind him that everyine is special in their own way and were to be kind and love everyone as best as we can. As he gets older he will see more and more of the real world and people/things he normally wouldn’t. Just talk to him, and give him space to ask questions. Answer the best you can, and if you domt have an asnwer you too can find someone to ask, learn together
That’s a hard one but it’s a teachable moment with your son to explain that all are not the same but we shouldn’t treat anyone def then anyone else
I have a child.on the spectrum and I’m gonna say right now they overreacted . Your child is 5 and curious.
If you want to explain it this is what I have said “He is a very nice boy (as long as it’s true). He just has a different way of thinking, so he may not want to do the things you do. Thank you for trying to include him in your activities, that’s really kind of you.”
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Expalin it how it is, he is on an age he’ll understand. They should understand that he is only 5 and didn’t know some was wrong with his cousin, that he was just more hurt because he didn’t wanted to play with him, the aunt just telling him that his cousin wasn’t normal doesn’t really explain why he couldn’t play with him. Kids are smarter than we think.
Aww your son is innocent, he didn’t know or maybe he never dealt with autistic child before. Your brother in law and his wife need to grow up. They should know better and stop using that as an excuse to label your son and you guys bad.
Good grief! The little boy is 5! He wasn’t ‘making fun’- he was just stating the facts as he was experiencing them I would have thought saying the 7 year old was ‘not normal’ was more offensive, but what do I know What’s ‘normal’? I think we are all a bit odd in our own ways. Just explain to your son that we are all different and give some examples. Reinforce being kind.
First off, your in laws are tripping. It was a 5 year old simply expressing his thoughts not knowing what was going on. He wasn’t being malicious, they’re just being sensitive. I’d suggest Googling some autism websites. They have helpful tips on how to explain to children.
Them being mad at you is a little far. Like you said your son is 5. Still learning. Yes being redirected instantly should’ve been the response though. Apologizing was nice. I do think you should just explain that some people are different. And if they don’t want to play it’s ok. They prefer to have time to themselves sometimes.
I’m the mother a high functioning 14 year old autistic son…I don’t get offended when people (young or old) ask, bc it doesn’t matter what age you are, sometimes the signs aren’t as “obvious” as society deems they should be. My nieces 14/13 respectively) didn’t realize my son was autistic until the older ones friend pointed it out, and that turned it into a teachable moment. Sounds like BIL/SIL are uncomfortable with the diagnosis (totally normal, btw) and are unsure how to handle any comments made. But your child is 5, autism to them isn’t obvious, they just see something being done different and make an observation about it….maybe y’all can sit down as a family and discuss it together so BIL/SIL and you and your child are on the same page to avoid any conflict moving forward. It’s not the end of the world, for anyone involved
Wow the parents are taking that very badly. Your son wasn’t bullying anyone. He was legit curious and had zero clue why his cousin acted the way he did and no one thoroughly explained it to him. My daughter is 6yo. She’s known since she was little that not all people develop the same way. Some people can be adults and still act like children (my aunt) or be non-verbal or do things that is different, buy that doesn’t mean it’s bad. She now goes to a school where it’s inclusive so special needs kids are with her in her class with her. She also has a friend who is her age but acts more like her 3yo sister and she understands that’s just how she is and she treats her kindly and does well. It’s easy to talk to them and just be honest. Kids are a lot smarter and will understand better if you are honest.
Your son is 5!!! He didn’t understand y. End of story with the apologies. I’m sure there are great books on how to talk to children about others with a handicapp.
Your 5 yr old doesn’t no what autism is not his fault and I very much doubt he said it in a nasty way .he probably just didn’t understand why the other child was doing what he was doing . Try to talk to the. Parents see if you can meet again and say to her your sorry again and is there any way you can help exspain to your son bout your her little boy
I don’t really think there’s a good or bad way to tell your son. Just tell him, everyone is different and go into ways how his cousin is different and then add how it is rude to point out people’s differences maybe?
Your son still sounds very innocent, like was he laughing when he said it or genuinely not understanding why, and that’s why he said something. Like yes educate your son but those parents need to be realistic about how a 5 year old would react if they didn’t know or understand.
He’s 5. He stated the truth. He didn’t make fun, he stated his observation. The other family is a bit too jaded and biased because of their child having the disorder. Just be honest. Explain we are all different. Some children/adults have different abilities and different needs. Show him for example a blind person with a cane. Or someone with a tracheostomy or oxygen to breathe. A child in a wheelchair. It will start to click for your little one that some people just can’t do certain things whether they want to or not. Don’t beat yourself up. Your in laws will have years of being “hurt” by unintentional comments.
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He wasn’t making fun of him, he just didn’t understand, and the mothers respond was absolutely stupid… autistic child are normal!!! I have 2 grandsons that are autistic, and they are very much normal!!!
Firstly I’d tell them no one was making fun of anyone. He was simply saying something and how will he learn unless he asks questions. And then I wouldn’t even bother with them since you don’t see them anyway ever. Then I’d tell him that sometimes people are different and that’s okay. You don’t need to point out he differences and if someone doesn’t want to play that’s fine also.
Tell him the boys brain works different. There’s nothing wrong with him, he just behaves different
There are a number of great books you can get to read to your son that explains autism to younger kiddos. I live that life and I was so thankful for every person who took the time to explain to their kids why my son acted different. It never hurt my feelings or offended me because children don’t understand unless it is explained to them. Trust me when I say educating your children will be a huge asset down the road. Helping them to be understanding of the fact that some kids are different.
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He’s 5… of course as parents we get scared that someone is being mean to our kids, especially if they have disabilities because a lot of disabled people cannot defend themselves because some cannot speak. But they need to remember this kid is 5 years old asking a question they have no answers to. I still have adults that say stupid things, but you sometimes just have to grit your teeth and educate because some people just don’t understand!
I don’t think the mothers explanation helped AT ALL. Maybe she was just trying to come up with something on the spot, but her words can be harmful and actually teaches kids to ostracize disabled kids. He IS normal, this is HIS normal. Autistic people can play, but not all autistic people will do what type of play neurotypical people do. It just kinda labels all autistic people as “not normal” “unable to play” and now your son will forever remember or possibly even say “that’s my cousin, he’s not normal.”
What should’ve been said, “he’s autistic, sometimes that means he doesn’t play the same as you can, but that doesn’t mean he is ignoring you or doesn’t want to play with you. Sometimes his play is different.” Find toys he can share, maybe like the same toys so they are doing something similar together, or drawing together. Something that the child who is autistic will enjoy and engage in, meet his abilities. If he cannot speak, or isn’t conversational, have pictures ready and see if he is interested in speaking with pictures. Find a way to communicate with him together, in a way that their child enjoys to communicate. My son loves to communicate through music and leading me places.
Make sure you remind him to be kind to people who communicate and play differently, that we don’t judge and be nice to everyone. That he is normal. Also remind your son that sometimes not everyone wants to play and that’s okay too, we have to respect that. But always remember to try and include him!
The parents should of explained to your son why their son acts that way
It Was Not your sons fault in anyway and if they was offended then they needed to say something then and not later
Tell your son the truth that his cousin has a illness that what it is and can’t help by the way he acts but in No Way should your son or you as parents should of apologize for something he wasn’t informed of or even known
I’m sorry that your son didn’t understand
All of y’all are the same brand of not smart. No one made fun of their kid. You explain to your son his cousin is special and different than most other kids and he doesn’t have to play with him if he doesn’t want to. For either mom or dad to be offended by what an innocent and ignorant 5 yr old said with no malice is pathetic
That baby wasn’t making fun of his cousin, he was stating what he saw and that’s that. My niece is autistic and we have a plethora of children in our family. And every time a kid is finally old enough they have questions about my niece. “Why does she flap her hands? Why doesn’t she play with us? Why does she make noises that she makes? Etc etc. my sister who is her mom always explains she’s different, she has autism, if you want to play with her try to do the things she likes otherwise she’s just simply not going to play with you. So the kids will swing on her sensory swing with her, count her DVDs with her or whatever she’s doing that particular day or just leave her alone. Every child has questions and it’s okay to answer them in a age appropriate way. My two oldest daughters now advocate for any child with special needs they go to school with.
Your child is 5. All he did was say what he saw.
In my opinion what a shame…with autism as prevalent as it is her son is indeed normal. There are all kinds of normal. Everyone has their own superpower. Some have got the mathematical genius of Albert Einstein. Some have the musical genius of Mozart. Some have the compassion of mother Theresa. Some know the day of the week for every month back to when time started being recorded. Some people haven’t discovered their super power yet.
As a neuro Divergent mother of a neuro Divergent child I say your child did nothing wrong. He Just made an observation. Since your son does not know about autism his comment is completely correct. He did not know what was wrong with the other child. He observed that all he wanted to do was clap around the house. There was nothing offensive about that comment.
You can explain to your son that brains are a funny thing. Everyone walks around with a brain computer in their skull. And some computers are smartphones and some computers are Apple macbooks and some computers are old 1980s IBM’s…
I am a child of the sixties. There was no autism when I was growing up. My child is a child of the nineties. We were just coming into the recognition of autism and ADHD and medicating everyone.
My child and I say we have a “touch of the 'tis.”
You can explain to your child that everyone is normal… Because everyone is different. There are just some people with this thing called autism where the world seems a little different. Maybe next time everyone gets together Your son can apologize to this poor woman (who thinks her son is different) and tell her maybe that the clapping game was something they both could play together…
I’m upset that she got upset with an innocent child’s observation… that kind of knee jerk reaction is a problem in this world.
First let me say I have a friend whose son has downs syndrome so I am familiar with how they handle ?s from children on this topic. In this situation the parents didn’t handle this well if they want to be offended, let them be. They didn’t see the opportunity in front of them to have a conversation instead they created a bigger issue.
Your child is just that a child and hasn’t seen their child before he made a comment the way children do when they observe something different than they have encountered before.
From what you stated it seems no one took the time to have a conversation with your child about autism. Sounds like the parents of the autistic child don’t know how to have conversations with other people or children who have ?s about autism and just wanted to be and stay offended instead of having a conversation with your son about it and take the opportunity to educate him about their son.
Let it go. Have a conversation with them and your son about the situation and try to resolve and move on. It’s a learning opportunity.
Special needs mom here!!! Your inlaws should have used this as a teaching moment to educate your child on autism, in no way shape or form is it your son’s responsibility to know better
Your child wasn’t being nasty /cruel or making fun. Hes 5yo. He made an innocent comment that any child of his age would have made.
Id have thought more of the boys parents if they’d taken the time to explain to your son that their son was special…not abnormal…and explained simply that their sons brain works differently than his.
Your husbands brother/wife need to take a step back and get in their own lane. Much respect to your husband because I’d have popped off with, “He’s 5 he doesn’t even know that your son is Autistic. If you think that what he said was out of malice then you need to check your attitude, as I do not appreciate a grown ass adult bullying my 5 year old because you guys never come around.” How I’ve approached the situation to my younger kids, (there is a very autistic child that is always at the park we frequent) is by keeping it simple. Sesame Street has introduced Julia who has autism and they had to explain it to a very confused bigbird. Your 5 year old might benefit from that so he understand the situation in future meetings. Autism isn’t bad and shouldn’t be treated as such and parents shouldn’t be ashamed to help other parents teach their kids about it. The world would be a nicer place if they did.
I found his mum’s comment distasteful. Your son didn’t do anything wrong. What you do is find some kid cartoons about autism and then have your son ask you questions. Then talk to him about it. Your sister in law should have used the moment to educate your son and the adults present on how to get her child’s attention and what fun games can be played with him.
Sounds like to me the parents are still trying to cope with this as well and haven’t quite accepted it.
I can understand this as my 5 yr old is being diagnosed and I struggle myself with how to cope with her quirks and comments etc.
Also have an 8 yr old and both ADHD too.
Your son did nothing wrong.
Pull up a YouTube video on it for your son or just explain to him his different and they at times need space and do things they can’t help.
This whole situation is so weird. Not a single parent/adult helped this situation in any way. You and/or husband could of had a chat Before get together, dad could have pointed things out during party to prepare child, parents of autistic kid could have educated child in moment, dad could have talked again before they left party, etc… so very many
My nephew is autistic and ocd and my son had many questions and he’s around him all the time. Can’t imagine the confusion at 5 yrs old and not being around those people as a unit very often.
There’s tons of books, comics, cartoons, shows, doctors, fliers, etc… that you can use to educate everyone in your family, including the brother in law, so they can chat to others in the future!
How is a child to understand something that was never explained never shown and never taught? And Big Uncle Billybob who doesn’t tolerate someone making fun of his child seems to not realize he was talking about a CHILD who was never taught never explained to and never told what to expect.
Seriously what did your husband and you expect would happen?
The 5 year old made a statement, nothing about what he said was being hurtful. It’s as easy as telling him that his cousin has autism which means that cousin is different than you. He plays by clapping around the house. We are all different in different ways and We will talk more about it as you grow older and can understand more.
He’s 5 and he said it how he seen it. He didn’t mean no harm to his words, he’s only little. The adults are acting younger than the child hereby acting the way they are. Your husband has apologised what more do they want blood. They need to get a grip and stop being so touchy also explain to your son about disabilities and how some children are different.
5 years old children don’t understand and questions are normal. Unless you prepare the 5 year old ahead of time he had no preparation for what he experienced. Your family shouldn’t be so judgmental about your son. They don’t tolerate judgment of their son so they are doing exactly what they don’t condone. I’ve had a issue with my 4 year old granddaughter being afraid of a teenager with developmental issues. I explained that he was gifted as being special and we have to be patient with him and help him and be understanding of his outbursts and movements. She got more comfortable with him the more she was around him.
He didn’t even say anything wrong though
I don’t think it was offense, plus he’s only 5, he doesn’t understand. You don’t really need to go into detail, just say that he may think or act differently than some other kids and that’s ok and it’s ok that he may not want to play the same as other kids.
Your son is 5. His parents are jerks for lashing out at a 5 year old. Their son is NORMAL. He’s not Typical.
Explain to your son that sometimes people’s brains develop differently and there’s nothing wrong with him at all, he’s just different. Ideally your son would be able to spend more time with him and learn other ways to play.
Maybe take your son over to visit and have your husband’s brother or wife explain it to him? Call her and ask if she be willing to do that.
He’s FIVE! He had no idea what he was saying. It wasn’t intentionally mean nor was he trying to hurt anyone. All he saw was a playmate that wouldn’t play with him. When he said “I don’t know what’s wrong with him” I’d bet dollars to doughnuts he thought his cousin was mad at him or just being mean. Would also bet he thought the clapping was the 7yo’s way of ignoring him and drowning him out. A 5 yo is very literal. He stated exactly what he saw. Probably would’ve been better to explain to him about his cousin before they went but hindsight is 20/20. Your son might have understood the explanation but he might not have fully comprehended it either.He’s a kid and saw a kid he wanted to play and have fun with. Your little boy was just confused as to why his cousin wouldn’t play. Confused kids ask questions. Ask your husband to explain this to his brother but it might not help. Their reaction is understandable. Their emotions are wound up and it’s a knee jerk reaction. They want to protect their child. After some time passes I hope they’ll see there was no bullying, discrimination or meanness in your son’s statement. It was just an innocent child wondering why another child wouldn’t play with him.
I think you plainly tell them the truth, that children are born with all kinds of differences and sometimes impairments, and to be sensitive to those people. But also the child is five it’s a little weird they seem to still be upset about something a five year old said when clearly he just didn’t understand.
He wasn’t making fun of him just complaining the other kid didn’t wanna play
That’s literally making a statement that the other kid doesn’t want to play and he doesn’t understand why. He’s not making fun of the kid and the parents are being extra af. Explain to your kid that some people are different and leave it at that. Those parents need to chill. He’s FIVE.
Be honest. He IS a child yet to learn about this world. He isnt “built” with all the knowledge bc hes still a child.
Your son asked an innocent question because it was a new experience he didn’t understand yet, he didn’t do anything wrong. Honestly, the mothers response of her son not being a “normal child” is more offensive. She should have just explained that he was autistic, which meant that his brain worked a little differently, and he may have different ways of playing sometimes. She could have then shown your son some ways he could interact with his cousin (maybe sensory play, or videos he liked to watch, or something), or just said it wasn’t a good time to play rn bc he was overwhelmed, but they could do something together later.
I’m sorry they are being so awful about this. They handled this completely the wrong way.
I think that the parents of the child with autism should give your son some grace. He is only 5 years old and didn’t know any better. He wasn’t saying it to make fun of his cousin, honestly he didn’t know there was anything different about him just that he didn’t want to play with him, innocent and childlike as he should be.
Maybe a conversation needs to happen between the adults to explain that there was no malice or negative meaning behind what your child said, he just didn’t know any better.
Don’t beat yourself up, it was innocent. I believe that.
If an adult or grown child did that I could understand the reaction, but 5 is still just coming out of being a toddler. A baby.
All you can do really is either call the mom or visit her “alone” and explain that your son didn’t know any better and wasn’t aware that her son was autistic. Sometimes people are just very sensitive to their child’s disability. It’s sad really. They could’ve very nicely explained to your son that their son had a medical disability and that would’ve opened the door for your conversation. If you can get her to understand maybe you and her can get the boys together sometime so that maybe they can get used to eachother and see how things go. This could be a very good learning opportunity for your son.
Anyone who gets upset over what a 5-year-old says is not very intelligent I don’t think I’d waste my time worrying about him or her.
I’m sorry, but they’re weird. He’s a child. He doesn’t know any better
First, this is the second time he’s seen him so no one knew what to expect. Second, he’s 5 years old!
And third it’s pretty obvious he didn’t say this comment to make fun of the other child. Again he’s 5. And the other parents need to get over it, you guys apologized for this more than once. My sure son wouldn’t said something similar.
You can tell your son something like " All kids are born different. Some of them will want to play with you and some won’t. And that’s okay. There is nothing wrong with kids who don’t want to play".
Done. Your kid is 5. He didn’t do anything wrong
You shouldn’t need to apologise for your child’s comment nor should anyone be upset over the comment… This is the most beautiful way to lead into a discussion about kids with special needs to your child. This is the perfect time to get these boys a “play” date so your son is able to see first hand what autism is and how he can navigate all his feelings about his cousin.
He made an innocent comment… maybe it’s time your brother in law steps up for his child and his cousin to interact together maybe his son will have a new friend too.
There are a few videos you can show your son that are aimed at teaching children about different disabilities.
Don’t apologize for your son making a statement he doesn’t know … now you’ve opened a door for learning empathy and inclusion
First off your son is 5 and has so much to learn about the world. I do not think what he said was in any way making fun of the other child.
A way to handle it would be to sit him down and talk to him, “you remember the cousin who didn’t want to play and you said all he wanted to do was flap around? That little boy has a very special brain that doesn’t work the same as yours and mine which makes him act differently. It’s not that he didn’t want to play it’s just that he simply did not know how to play with you. He loves flapping and running so maybe next time a game of chase might be fun! Having unique people like your cousin makes the world a better and more interesting place!”
You could also get kids books about Autism to read with him.
As a mom of a son that has Aspergers, you learn to teach constantly. You teach adults and you teach children. You don’t become upset over innocent statements. Kids do not understand why the autistic child does not want to play or wants to be by themselves. I would always just give a statement saying that my son has aspergers and he doesn’t like to play like other children often do then I would give suggestions on how to interact with him in a positive way that both might enjoy. My son is now 18 and has learned to adapt to a more mainstream world but sometimes that never happens and you just have to continue to educate. I rarely had anyone bully or pick on him when I did educate them. Kids can understand from a very early age
My daughter has autism. My sister has done an amazing job ensuring that my niece and nephew understand that she is perfect just the way she is. She is nervous sometimes, she plays differently and communicates differently than they do. Sometimes its more complicated than others for their understanding of why she does what she does (they are still little too, and you can’t fully explain autism sometimes even to adults lol) but in general they’ve been taught that everyone is different and that includes how they talk, play, what they like/dislike and that’s what makes everyone special, and that its not okay to make fun of people for what makes them different (not that your child was at all, it was an innocent comment). Its best to just explain to your child that people are different in many ways and that sometimes people don’t communicate or play like he/she does and that’s okay. You’re kiddo didn’t say anything wrong… the other parents should have handled that differently and please just take the opportunity to talk about it with your kid
What! He’s 5 and has no understanding of this! First off just explain to ur son , and the parents should kick rocks, ur kid is 5, and they r mad, maybe they should of explained it immediately, how can u hold a 5 year old accountable
He’s 5 years-old. He didn’t mean anything bad by what he said. Your husband brother and wife need to get over it. He’s 5 years-old.
Just explain that he is different. Or that he is a special type of person. That he doesn’t react the way other kids do. Plus your son won’t understand why he’s different but just use easy terms.
Just that everyone is different and special in their own ways then tell them the differences
I’m sorry he is 5 years old. If you want to teach about autism then sesame street has an autistic Muppet named Julia. My son is 7 with moderate autism. I get asked this question all the time by children of all ages, especially when he STIMS. But I just tell people he is autistic and is different from other kids. He doesn’t understand you just want to play, and can be really shy and scared. When he feels like this he feels safer to play by himself but thank you for asking. I have had several parents apologize to me, and I see say no worries. The parents need to get over it. There son is different and pushing people away isn’t going to help anyone. Best of luck.
Don’t worry about it, your child’s five and asked an innocent question. I’d be more pissed at lads parents for not gently explaining there sons a bit different and his brain wired up differently to normsl brain. They are super intelligent people but wires linked up bit different to us. The autistic child’s parents shouldn’t have got upset at family over it. Tell them to grow up, if get offended at 5 yr old. My sons now 23 the comments get worse older they get from others
Cut the kid some slack. He’s 5. Let it go. I wouldn’t stress on it. Yall apologized. Ur son meant no harm n he got his feelings hurt too.
He’s only 5 years old! He didn’t mean it in a bad way!! The adults are the problem NOT your son.
When my kids ask me questions about others I always say 1. Don’t stare it’s not nice and 2. Never judge someone else they may not have a great life like you do and 3. For kids who have differences at school that he’s noticed I tell them the same not everyone is born the same and for that other kids could be mean so you make sure you be nice to everyone and if someone’s being mean you be the leader not the follower and tell them that’s not nice at all and he’s in grade one am my others in grade two they both understand this and why it’s not okay but if you’ve haven’t had to have the convo with your child I’d understand why your kid would be curious as mine were too soo I’d sit down have a long talk then I’d message them and explain it like he hasn’t been taught and you say him down that night and explained the best of your ability to and you apologize
I have a child on the spectrum and a step child that we believe is undiagnosed. Both my boys are adults now and very high functioning however when it’s time for a conversation to younger people it’s always starts with that their brains work a little bit differently than yours does. Sometimes they will make noises or body movements because they have a lot going on and trying to make themselves feel better. Obviously your child is pretty young so maybe just compare it with something that he can relate to. Maybe he gets overstimulated when there are a bunch of people around or the tv is loud or something and he doesn’t feel really comfortable but compare to something that makes him feel uncomfortable and ask him what he does in that moment to make himself feel better since that’s basically what stimming is at the end of the day. Or maybe talk to the mom and dad and ask them for some advice on how to explain it to your child since I’m sure they have to conversations a lot with other parents and children alike as their child is school age? In any case please try to get the point across that autism doesn’t mean that the child can’t understand or isn’t smart or weird. But instead that they are a little different but that he too can learn a lot from his cousin as they grow up together about acceptance and love. For us our boys are just very socially awkward and very neat and picky about certain things. Our oldest can’t be in a big crowds or he will say things over and over and then separate himself when he realizes he’s doing it. It depends on where the autistic child is and where your son is on how much or how little you can explain. I hope this helps.
Parents missed an opportunity to explain in simple terms differences in people.
The adults here need to bang their heads together…picking in a 5yr old !! Who has little concept of autism…the mother of the autistic boy wants to play the violin?
I have guardianship of my adult autistic nephew. My grandson was six years old yesterday and he has been around Steve his whole life. It isn’t the child who asked why his cousin is different but maybe the parents who are not living in the real world. Let them get to be around each other. This is an opportunity to learn compassion.
Our maisie asked me this a few weeks ago (she is eight) i tried to explain that some people are differant, that we dont like loud noises, dont want to speak, will get very upset if thier routine is changed, she said ‘i dont like it when things are changed’ i asked her why, she said ‘it frightens me, that i dont know what is going to happen’. Just try to explain in basic as possible terms. Im no expert
Sesame Street!!! They can help!
Just tell it like it is. a lot of autism around these days, and kids are not too young to learn about it at 5.
I have seen this recently and if you have Netflix subscription the series is called Atypical. Talks about one teenager going through high school as autistic person. Maybe your son can see this when is a little bit older (example 12/ 14).
There’s other series, books that talk about autism as well. And they are made in the view from people in the spectrum. There’s things catered for children for that age.
He is too young to understand about autism, even adults have a hard time to grasp it. However, it is not late to repair this relationship with his cousin and introduce your son to neurodiverse people. This is a chance for him to learn about different disabilities and people with other special needs.
They are just different. Awesomely different
First of all, the kid is 5! I think they need to be more understanding of that. And at that age, the only thing he would understand is if you explain that they are different but just as awesome and special as he is so please be kind. Kids at that age are genuinely curious about others around them
Im so happy right now about our culture . My family would have just said somthing like . You you have diffrent kind of fruits (mostly with kids we use food or snacks ciz thats what is on their brain) well so and so is an orange you are ab apple somebody else is a pear but we are all just fruits . And then the adults go on with life coz being different is normal and ok . And asking questions is normal and ok