How can I explain to my kids my SIL is now with a woman?

I need some advice; my SIL was married, had three kids, and as of May, was divorced. We spoke to our kids about the divorce and how they may not see their uncle as often but is still part of the family, etc. Well, now my SIL is in a relationship with a woman. We are supportive of her but are unsure how to tell our kids that this woman they have met and been around us more than a friend. I have no doubt that they will be accepting, but how do I explain how their aunt was married to a man and is now interested in women (especially so quickly)? Any advice would be appreciated. Our kids are 10,6, and 5

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I would not give great detail I would just say aunt X has a girlfriend and leave it at that kids that age don’t need elaborate explanations one relationships

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“Your aunt likes girls, we can love whoever we want and makes us happy, your aunt found happiness with a girl”

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I thought this said how do you tell your kids your sil is now a woman… :woman_facepalming:

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Be honest? Like for real… kids learn hatred from vile adults. Aunty loves X. The end.

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I wouldn’t go into detail. That’s auntie girlfriend. As they get older and have question. Then answer them. It might be you that cares. They might not. I think they are to young to even realize.

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I don’t get the issue. If they ask matter of factly say this is her girlfriend

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If you make a big deal about it so will the kids. Kids aren’t dumb, they do know what gay is. Just be honest. Auntie is dating a woman and if they have any questions answer them. Be honest.

I wouldn’t give it to much thought. Let it just be a casual part of the life. If they ask, explain that people love who they love. :woman_shrugging:
But I think making it a “thing” would be more confusing that letting it just be.

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Answer any questions they may have and don’t make a big deL out of it.

Love is love. Say what it is. That’s auntie’s new girlfriend. If they have questions beyond that, you will find the right words. Good luck!

Um you say “this is your aunt’s girlfriend” and keep it moving. Why are you making it a big deal? Why does a relationship need to be explained?

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My mom was married to my dad for 20 something years and divorced like 2 years ago then married a woman last year. My kids are 9,7,5 & 2. My older kids really didnt think much about it. All they did was ask why was she with a woman and all we said was sometime women like other women and sometimes men like other men and that was that. They never asked about it again and were fine with having two “mawmaws” instead of a mawmaw and pawpaw.

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I think you may be overthinking this, just be honest and say that this is her girlfriend… If they ask “where is uncle gone?” just say something like “hes at his house”… Keep explanations simple… If they ask too many questions just be honest but keep it simple…

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You don’t :woman_shrugging:t3: Aunt BBB really likes XXX we should be kind and welcoming.

Any questions passed that answer as they come … my 5 year old asked me but mom it’s 2 (in our case it was males) I simply said your right you can love all kinds of people as long as they are kind and make you happy. He said but mom and I said different things make different ppl happy and that’s all anyone wants to be is happy and loved he said yup and kept it moving. Odds are your putting way more thought to this then they will

“That’s your aunts girlfriend” and leave it at that. If they ask questions just say your aunt loves her and that’s all that matters. People can love who they want to love.

Be casual, don’t sit them down and point it out, if they ask, don’t ummmm it either. That’s her new girlfriend, all there is to it.

If you just say hey auntie is dating so and so now. If you make it a non issue then the kids will just accept it as is. No biggi unless you make it biggie. :revolving_hearts:

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I don’t think it’s something you need to make a big deal about. Love is love and, that’s all they need to know.

Say nothing maybe a phase

say nothing they will work it out in their own minds and take it in their stride

There’s no need to explain anything unless they ask questions… then you teach them that people are allowed to love whoever they want

My daughter once said a boy in her class had 2 moms and asked why so I explained different relationships to my 3 children, I just told it bluntly… They are children and have no racism or discrimination at this point so they see it as normal.
Just tell them that your SIL loves this person and wants to be with her and leave it at that…

Don’t make it a huge deal because it isn’t, explain to them that love is love and that this woman is her girlfriend and changes absolutely nothing.

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Just tell them? Tell them people can fall in love with the same gender as they are, it’s perfectly normal. Love is love, no matter the gender.

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This is aunt Sally and her friend xyz. If it’s a long term relationship then say it’s auntie’s girlfriend . Don’t make a big deal about it… Honestly the kids don’t really care, and if they do they will ask. Would it be any different if she was dating a guy??

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You don’t until they ask. Let them start and answer with questions nudge them in the right direction if you need to.

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People love people not genitalia, well generally LoL

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I doubt at that ahe they’re going to say “WOW she JUST liked men a year ago” say ots her girlfriend and move on

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Unless you, yourself, are struggling with how you feel about this, the answer is very simple. That’s her girlfriend, love is love and keep it moving. Your answer will help shape your children’s acceptance or ignorance.

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Go into details/explanation just if they move in together or even get serious about their relationship
Or if they show physical love in front of them, and i think it will be different conversations with each one of your kids bc of their age

“Hey kids, aunty has a girlfriend… she’s so happy.”

:woman_shrugging:

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Normalize it by not saying anything. Refer to her as her girlfriend because that’s what she is. If they have questions they will ask and then you can be as honest and open with them as you feel comfortable

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You’re over thinking it.
You dont have to mention until they ask, and then it’s just auntie’s girlfriend.

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No need to explain. If they ask then respond

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I’ve always told my kids that boys can love boys and girls can love girls just the same as girls and boys loving each other. I’d want til they ask though

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No idea who the man and woman is in this story 💁

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Just tell them. How would you explain if she married another man? The exact same way as that. She fell in love with someome else. 🤷

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No need unless they ask and then you just simply say that’s who she’s dating because she can

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Just tell them that she is their aunts girl friend and don’t make it sound weird or they will associate as being weird. The youngest may not understand, but I bet the older kids already know about same sex couples.

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How about telling the Truth

Oh wow. The kids are little. Love is love … what else is there to say to them

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“This is your aunts girlfriend” and if the older one comes back with something about boys only liking girls and vice versa you hit him with a “no anyone can like anyone they want as long as they’re happy”

I wouldn’t say a word . They will pick up on their own , sadly .

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I have 6 year old twins and my best friend married a girl. My kids were in their wedding. They’ve never even said anything about it at all. I really wouldn’t worry to much about it. If they ask then explain it. Teach them you love who you love

You explain it to them the exact same way you would explain it to them had she chosen to be with another man. :woman_shrugging:

Just be open and honest

Who cares who she is with. Kids aren’t that closed minded.

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My sister is with a female. My 5 y.o has never questioned anything about it. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I wouldn’t make it a big deal. This is X she is aunties girlfriend.

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Sometimes girls fall in love with guys, sometimes girls fall in love with girls. People love people.

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No need to explain. Unless they ask. My SIL is with a woman. Our kids don’t see it any different.

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Why do you have to explain to a child an adult relationship? A child is a child and should stay in a childs place. It’s not the childs business who’s with who.

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You don’t need to unless they ask. My brother is gay and my son has never asked about him and his boyfriends relationship (he’s 6) he just knows that they love eachother and that’s it.

super easy.
ya just go, This is your Aunt’s girlfriend.

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Love is love , we are not here to be judges of anyone that’s solely gods job , so u say your aunt is inlove with another women , we love who we love .

Your aunt has a girlfriend, who she loves very much

Who cares!! Kids don’t care!! It’s the same as if she got another bf!

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How would you explain a new boyfriend? Do it the same way.

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Just don’t make a big deal about it. Normalize it. Kids literally don’t care lol

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Kids don’t look at genders, and sex like adults unfortunately do. They are innocent. So keep it simple. “Kids this is _______, Aunty’s girlfriend.” Don’t make it abnormal by doing this giant explanation, keep it simple, keep it about happiness.

I’d just say this is aunts girlfriend, and who she has fallen in love with, keep it simple.

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Just don’t make any kind of big deal out of it. Don’t explain it. Just “this you aunt’s girlfriend.”

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When my kids asked why a child in her class had 2 moms, I simply said , sometimes girls love boys, sometimes girls love girls, sometimes boys love boys. Families are all different.

They said, “oh… I wish I had 2 moms”. :joy::joy:

Kids truly don’t care until someone tells them to.

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Just like a man can love a woman a woman can love a woman. IF they ask.

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When my sister “came out” we just rolled with it :woman_shrugging:t3:. She had, had boyfriends previously and my kids knew that. They never really questioned it other than my then 3 year old. And all she said when I told her that B was her cookie’s (my sister) girlfriend was “I didn’t know they could do that” and then proceeded to introduce my sister “ this is my aunt cookie and she is a lesbian”. She was rare or something lmao

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Love is love no matter what the persons sex is and let them know that.

Don’t. Unless they start asking questions. If you guys don’t make a big deal about it, they won’t either. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Uhm. Say “Hey this is (insert name here) Aunt’s girlfriend.” That simple. If they ask question some girls love girls and that’s okay. It’s okay to love whoever you want to.

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:joy::joy::joy: do you explain every single relationship of every single family member and their spouses? Of course not, that would be crazy. Don’t worry about it unless they ask lol good grief

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Don’t make a big deal out of it. Treat it like normal. When they ask. Tell them love is love.

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My SIL dates women and she simply tells my kids (4,6,8,9) that she likes girls more than boys. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it, because it’s really not a big deal :woman_shrugging:t2:

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The same way you’d tell them if it were a guy; “auntie has a new boyfriend”. Why is it different?

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Super easy. You just introduce her as exactly who she is.
I doubt they will even ask unless someone makes a big deal of it. Which would be super wrong.

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I think it’s great that you’re trying to be respectful and all that… but don’t make a big deal about it. It’s just two people who love each other. And it really is that simple to explain to a child.

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It wont be a big deal unless an adult makes it a big deal. Kids are more accepting than people give them credit for.

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Uhm introduce her girlfriend just like you would if it were a man. Your kids will be far more accepting and comfortable with their relationship than I’m sure you are

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If you make it a big deal it will become so. Just go with the flow. If kids ask questions be honest.

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My husbands grandmother is gay, and has been with her partner for 40 years. All of my nieces, nephews, and my son all know that they have 2 grandma’s. No one has ever had to explain anything to the kids. They got married 3 years ago and still the kids never openly asked or anyone has ever mentioned anything about them being gay. They all just think it’s a normal relationship and that’s that way its supposed to be. But if I ever had to explain it to my son i would just tell him that they love each other. But i wouldn’t point out the difference unless he asked about it.

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So you simple say wel aunty and uncle decided to be friends because they don’t have that sort of love for each other anymore

This is the person that aunty now loves, thats nice that she has found someone isn’t it

The kids won’t care unless you make it a problem

It is about love not the gender

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You don’t. Would you do the same if she got with another man? Doubt it so why should it be different because she’s with a woman? Children don’t even question these things it’s adults that make a big deal for no reason.

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I have always been open and said people love each other wether a girl or boys or two girls or two boys love is special and two people of any gender can fall in love and have a relationship. Kids adapt and accept and just tell them as it is, answer any questions and no need to make a thing of it. Xx

As a mama who was married to a man and now has a girlfriend these comments warm my heart. My children love and accept my gf and it’s never been a big deal. Just tell them your sil is happy and has a new girlfriend. If your kids have questions just answer them honestly and they will probably surprise you with how much they understand. Love is love and no one gets that better than children :purple_heart::rainbow:

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Just say love is love. You make a big deal about Something kids wil not do That!

Why make it a big deal? If they ask have a discussion, if they don’t then they either get it or don’t think anything of it. I think 6 and 5 are to young to even try to explain it. Don’t introduce it as a big deal, if they have questions answer honestly if they don’t, then don’t make it a thing.

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I wouldn’t address it formally at all tbh… just introduce her to the children as you would if her partner was a man?
If they ask why she’s seeing a woman, simply tell them that love doesn’t work that way. You can love anyone and if they are happy then you are happy for them.

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Literally just tell them that. And that people can love anyone they want to love it dosent matter their gender.
From there if they have questions just go age appropriate

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while all the responses seem respectful - at your children’s age I would suggest you do not have to refer at all back to prior relationships. I told my son many times since he was as young as five that most men date women and most women date men, but some women prefer to date women and some men date men sometimes. I tell him that whenever something is less common, some people pick on the people who do what is less common, but that is not nice. People sometimes are uncomfortable with things that are less common, but everyone has the right to do what they want as long as we don’t hurt other people. I remind my son that we support people in their pursuit of happiness, and all of us will find ourselves doing something that will put is in a minority, and it is important to accept differences.

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“Some people have girlfriends and some people have boyfriends. She picked a girlfriend.”
Thats how my mom told.me about my aunt 30+ years ago… Keep it simple. Kids understand love.

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I feel like the original poster is making a big deal out of it, and this isn’t necessarily bout how her kids will handle it. Judgemental statements like “and is now with a woman( especially so quickly)” , only leads me to believe that the poster has more of an issue with it then she is willing to admit.

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Don’t over complicate it she loved him, now she loves her. It’s really not complicated. Love is love.

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You just say it. Aunt so and so has a girlfriend now. Even though she previously wanted a relationship with men, she has now made a different decision and we need to be respectful of her choices. Does anyone have any questions?

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Honestly, the same way you would tell them she was in a relationship with another man. Kiddos take a lot of their ques from their parents, and if they see you accept it and think nothing of it, then they’ll most likely follow right along. Sure, some questions may arise if they’ve never seen that type of relationship before, but as others have said just explain that love is love, and we don’t get to decide who we love. :two_hearts:

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It’s probably more awkward for the adult than the kid during the explanation.

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Straight up. If it’s not a big deal then don’t make it one. Introduce her as Aunt whomevers girlfriend. Let the kids ask the questions.

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Just tell them that love is love. Their aunt is now in love with this other woman and that’s okay because it makes her happy. Love isn’t defined by our gender but instead by what makes up happy.

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I don’t see why kids that young need to be told adult stuff especially as it’s only their aunty and not their parents , I’m sure your kids are to young to even know about such things , I think you the one whose having issues excepting it

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I can comment on this well. I grew up with both my mom and my dad. They divorced when my dad came out as a gay man when I was 17. I now have a 6 year old son and my dad is engaged. My mom remarried as well. My son has never asked the difference but when he does, I will approach it as no big deal. He knows he has my mom and step dad, his grandparents on his dads side, and my dad and his partner. He calls him by name. Considering it’s so widely accepted these days, he is very aware that people are just people who love other people. I’d just say, this is aunts girlfriend and ask questions as they come :slightly_smiling_face:

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Just tell them! Kids are way more accepting and understanding than we give them credit for.

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