This sounds similar to my family situation. My ex also fights for the attention of our 2 grown kids. Our son and daughter have always been more comfortable with the parent who wasn’t trying to control them, and didn’t have expectations to follow her likes and priorities. I don’t do that. Look at those aspects of yourself?
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May not play any part… but why did you divorce? Were you unfaithful? It may not be something you have done to them, but something you have done to hurt their father and they will always be protective of him?
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You are trying to hard. Go out and make a life enjoy yours stop trying to compete, you asked for nothing you let him walk all over you. Have you asked why they are not interested in you? Needy people beg. Make a life show them you are strong and can manage on your own. Get a good lawyer and take back your share of the property, stop letting your ex walk all over you. Go and take back your life show your children you are not a door mat make your self interesting. It is no fun going out with someone who has no conversation, you needs to broaden there horizons be the interest person you can be. Fix yourself first the rest will fall into place.
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I wanna know why this divorce happened and you got nothing besides worrying what the kids will think, obviously ex was good to them in ways they continue to enjoy
Seems to be you are being abused yet again, This really is very Dreadful Behaviour of Children you gave your Time Energy for. When Money/Property involved Some people have no Empathy other than Themselves.
You will need to Distance yourself for your Own Sanity.
Depends on the situation… what caused the divorce, who had more contact with the kids when you divorced… did you ever belittle your kids or even mentally hurt your kids? Maybe you had some views or opinions they didn’t agree with. We’re you toxic?
When they said no to spend time with you because maybe they were busy, did you make them feel guilty for it?
Are you pushing too hard? Trying to one up their dad? It could be a number of things… without the full story, it’s hard to determine why they wouldn’t want to see you
None of my business but if marriage ended cause of cheating on your part or you calling it off they may blame you for it. I would write them each a letter and tell them how much you want them in your life if even for dinner or lunch or to talk over the phone. Maybe them writing letters back to you might help them start to communicate better. Hopefully they change soon but if not I’m sure once they have kids of their own they will see how much they want their mom back in their lives. Keep trying and don’t give up. Good luck