How can I forgive my husband for lying to me?

People do what they want period.

Sit with “are we really compatible?”
Love is not enough.

You have boundaries he doesn’t respect. If he doesn’t change after the first discussion, he’s not going to.
If he cared you’d not be driving yourself crazy, you’d know exactly how he felt. The relationship would not cause anxiety.

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Not crazy- lots of Red Flags

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Someone tell me what a “black lingerie lunch” is because I’ve never heard of it before?? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Red flags waving high.

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Black lingerie lunch? He didn’t know what it was? So then did he leave immediately when he figured out what it was?
Come on.

These guys and their dumb excuses piss me off.

You sound very insecure :thinking:

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If you have to turn on locations then clearly you have no business being in a relationship. Tracking peoples locations is so toxic and overbearing

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I think it’s far worse than you know, tbh. You need to leave the relationship.

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You are being very immature

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He’s talking to other females. In my eyes that’s emotional cheating which will then lead to physical cheating.

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I think you and your husband should have a conversation about boundaries and what you both expect out of your relationship.
I also think these things should have been brought up immediately and dealt with right then. It’s you and him against the problem, the problem in this case is the lack of boundaries and sneakiness.

And my petty ass would be meeting this women while he’s at work to “bring him lunch” :joy: casually of course. And with a batch of cookies for the staff :joy: all for my loving husband :grin:

If u can’t trust him dump him

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Those small things over 2 years. A) It obviously would upset you if he like someone picture which is weird because he’s an adult. B ) He knew his location was on it was a work lunch and he wasn’t hiding anything. C) the consistent insecurity and worry that absolutely anything involving another female would upset you (and apparently has upset you as you commented something she said once seemed flirty) it’s understandable he would delete it to avoid whatever you might construe it as. You are being incredibly insecure and it seems like he has to walk on eggshells with the other sex to keep you happy.

He is still probably being sketchy bc he shouldn’t be hiding anything but you sound like you have major insecurity issues and he thinks he has to hide everything so you don’t overreact.

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Sounds like yall both have issues yall need to work in not just him🤷🏽‍♀️

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Seems like he’s cheating. Time to move on

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Go get therapy and work through why you feel that way

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Nope, a women’s intuition is always right!
Hes up to NO Good, open your eyes and dont be in Denial
:broken_heart::sob:

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Honestly if you don’t have trust you have nothing

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Been there and eventually walked away.

Both of you have issues.

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Resolve your codependency before deciding if you’re an appropriate candidate for any sort of interpersonal relationship.

You aren’t there yet.

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Time to get out…save yourself…there’s probably tons more you are not aware of

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These are major red flags :triangular_flag_on_post:. You are right to be concerned. Frankly you’ve got a problem. It’s up to you to figure out what you want to do.

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Your gut isn’t wrong.

BIG RED FLAG id re think te relationship

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He’s lying and deleting things… trust your gut girl!

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Liking fb posts is detrimental to a low self confidence; not saying he’s innocent but get your mind in the right place WORK ON YOU… also (he doesn’t know) puts up red flags to me. Is he lying or just protecting your anxiety? So many questions.

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Both of you have issues.

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You definitely need to work on you. Getting upset over liked fb posts is super petty. Girl/guy, you’re a massive red flag.

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No. Hes guilty of disrespecting you over and over if nothing else. Seems like there’s something else though. I’m coming out of 2 years of this mess. I stayed until I.couldnt stand him anymore. I love it. I love knowing noones out there disrespecting me, making me play the part of the fool.

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Always trust your gut. If you’re feeling there is a problem, there might be one or it’s coming.

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Sounds like this guy is gaslighting you. These are all signs he’s up to no good and you’re trying to not trust your gut and brain.

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You seem to have issues.

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Nope. Trust your gut instinct.

If he’s hiding it there’s usually a reason behind it

Leave his lyin cheatin ass!! Save yourself from the torture

It’s time for a serious sit down and talk on both of your parts.
If HE is willing to put forth the FULL effort to put your insecurities to rest and open up 100% of all his communications his phone, his social media… alongside his past indiscretions etc… so you understand and know exactly what you’re dealing with. After you have all the facts and he’s opened up honestly, then it will be up to YOU to decide to either forgive and move forward working as a team with him putting in the effort to be transparent and you being forgiving and patient and actually moving on from it all.
But this will have to be something you both will have to work on, otherwise, there will never be peace in your mind and you’ll never trust him. But trust is his to earn as well.
Both have work to put in.

You’re not crazy. Probably has a new job in a new state because he has a new family.

Why are you willing to be in discomfort just to keep this person around. There are people out there who won’t even put you in this type of situation. You have to decide if it’s worth it.

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Why forgive and let go are u ignoring the red flags clearly u are. Because I would become FBI, CSI ALL IN ONE THAT JUST ME. I rather have proof so when he comes with the bs I have it hot and ready together with divorce paper. Women need to know thier worth don’t allow men or clearly little boys to make u feel otherwise. I would start securing me.

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Your are not crazy. He is violating your relationship boundaries which is cheating.

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Shouldn’t be a problem with the locations on and how is that toxic that’s safety in todays world. An he shouldn’t be deleted messages that’s just hiding something to me tbh kinda weird married man is taking to a female coworker unless it’s a boss that’s fine. Well the Facebook thing I don’t even know to trust what he says.

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There’s got to be a reason behind your distrust. Once it starts it will not go away. If you’ve come to the point in your relationship where you’re constantly worrying or anxious it’s only going to get worse. Worse for you and your self confidence and this you are also going to push on him. Whether he has or has not done something wrong. I’m sorry but trust is an easy thing to lose and a very difficult thing to get back. May be best to have the conversation about splitting amicably or how to start over.

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In my opinion, these are the only 3 things you know that happened the last 2 years. There’s probably more that he was sneakier with.

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First off, in a relationship, there are no secrets! He should be able to grab your phone and you should be able to grab his. It’s not a violation of privacy, it’s a phone. Period. You should be able to see where each other are for safety. You nor him should be putting flirts or efforts into anyone else. Those emotions are reserved for you and him. I don’t understand couples screaming you’re invading my privacy, you touched my phone! Um, there should be nothing kept private between a couple, you need Google, grab my phone, photo, grab my phone, you wanna text my bestie a message from my phone, go ahead. Secrets create anxiety and big problems.

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Location on to know where your partner is that’s toxic, if it was me I wouldn’t be dealing with any Toxicity or lying. That’s how people take advantage of you anymore because you allow it in nothing ever gets done.

Sounds like you need to deal with your insecurity issues. :roll_eyes:

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We don’t know you, so we can’t really evaluate whether or not you are overreacting.
It does sound like you need to establish a relationship with a Therapist who will be able to help you figure it out, as well as help with your anxiety.
Take care of YOU, first.

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No you’re not crazy. He’s gaslighting you. It’s ok to have expectations and boundary’s in a marriage. If he doesn’t love and respect you enough to adhere to those AND BE transparent, then he isn’t ready to be married.

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Look. He’s cheating. Either leave him or deal with it. Don’t confront him he will just lie. Just move on.

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Those are red flags for me. Especially in repeat…I would just leave.

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Why have a relationship/partnership with someone? Just to check each other’s? Locations, texts? What pics they’ve liked on Social media? Where did they go-to-lunch with co-workers? It just seems EXHAUSTING! Enough already? Get a hobby? Don’t worry about him! They are going to do? What they want to do? Weather you track them or not? Doesn’t sound like he’s worrying about every where you go, or what you do for lunch? Stop worrying about him! Go do you! Better yourself! Join a gym! Hang out with old friends! When you don’t feel comfortable in any relationship? Get out of it! Just get out of a relationship if you can’t trust him! Just let him go! Problem solved! Let him go! Good luck :four_leaf_clover: :heart::orange_heart::yellow_heart:

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Shady, shady, shady…smh

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l get paid over $187 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18551 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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If there’s no trust in a .marriage. it’s not a good one

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I would leave and get a Divorce ASAP once a cheater always a cheater .
Was in a relationship for 15 years and put up with it but finally got out thank goodness I did because now I’m in a much better relationship and a much better place .!!!

Never trust a liar period !!!

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It’s going to take work from both sides for you to be able to let go. He needs to have constant reassurance with you and open communication. Communicate with him when you feel uneasy about something and his reassurance will help your anxiety.

First of all if he knew that you wouldn’t like it if he was talking to her why the hell would he delete the messages that makes it even worse and makes you trust me even less.

You don’t delete messages in relationships, it’s common sense it’s suspicious as hell and it can cause trust issues, what’s the point of deleting text messages? If you didn’t know what the lingerie lunch thing is, he still once he got there should have realized what it is and left out of respect for you if that’s one of your boundaries that was established in you guys relationship.

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Most social media’s have done away with the unlike button. Sketchy story. And he shouldn’t be doing things he knows is disrespectful in the first place. He’s trying to have a double life like the saying having his cake and eating it too.

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Run like your butts on fire

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Sounds like you’re being gaslit. Not good.

trust your gut and honor yourself

I would trust your gut. He explains everything away so nicely. I will say if someone is flirty to him he can’t help that. But how he responds matters so him deleting it seems really shady. Also, if he knew you wouldn’t like them talking then why would he talk to her?

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Sounds like my ex husband. Turns out he was having an affair for over a year - including on the day we got married :upside_down_face:

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Honestly, this sounds like he may not mention things to you because he knows you’ll overreact. If you want open and honest then you also have to be open to listen and not jump to conclusions.

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If it has been two years you aren’t gonna let go. So either move on or live with it. Only two options I see

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I never was able to forgive mine… :frowning: we divorced well I’m trying to he doesn’t wanna sign off on it

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Trust your gut!! If you see red flags then do not ignore them. If it turns out to be nothing great but don’t just blindly ignore stuff like that without being a little more mindful. You could find yourself in a situation where you’ve wasted years of your life with someone who is a liar and a cheater and by the time you find out be stuck. I’m not saying he is cheating but don’t just blindly believe everything he says. If he’s being sneaking and deleting things off his phone investigate. Look up that girls fb and see who she is and if he that’s the girl he works with whose messages he’s deleting.

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Lmao, no one HAS to talk to coworkers. He’s being busted left n right n you keep letting it happen. Go find a man who will ACTUALLY respect you

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He’s not in live with you. Maybe you guys need a break. Tell him you want a break and say all these reasons why. Then you enjoy yourself

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No he is doing things that aren’t ok. Trust your gut. You forgiving those things is an invitation to keep doing them to some. Breaking trust can destroy a relationship, sit and have a heart to heart. If you feel he is keeping things from you and doing shady stuff behind your back tell him, come up with a solution together and if he does something again and you didn’t out, leave him. For your sanity and peace.

No. To many red flags. Run.

Leave! You are NOT crazy!

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He’s a liar. Leave him.

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Why don’t you just talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling? My husband works for a company where he texts and emails female coworkers often because he has to. I’ve caught him liking female pics as well, but it doesn’t bother me because that’s all it is. However, deleting text messages is a :triangular_flag_on_post:, so you do need to talk to him and get it figured out.

Unfortunately you need too forgive or leave.

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Personally I think he’s cheats. If he’s works out of state it’s easier for him to do that. Him deleting is shady. If he wasn’t do nothing wrong he shouldn’t be deleting.

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It seems like maybe you need to work on being a little more open, and receptive, in your relationship. Y’all are lacking communication. If he feels like he’s going to get in trouble for everything, he will become secretive. You got upset she sent something that might be flirty? I know you’re anxious, and that’s hard. But if he genuinely feels like he can’t speak to women without it being an issue, that is an issue. And it will cause trouble. And if you feel like he isn’t meeting your needs and someone else will, leave. That’s always your decision to make. I hope it works out for you.

At the end of the day, no trust no relationship.

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You are giving him free passes. His actions aren’t kosher. You aren’t crazy.

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I wouldn’t continue that marriage.

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Your not going crazy he’s just trying to cover up shyt… do what’s right for you

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You sound very insecure.

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You don’t have to let any of it go. I’d cut and run sis. Been there - not sorry. It’s for the best, gotta love you more.

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Leave him he’s cheating

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Dump his lying, cheating ass.

Your intuition is telling you something doll.

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Why is he deleting messages? It still doesn’t erase the fact that he was talking to a girl coworker. It seems he’s deleting them bc he doesn’t want you to see . & unliking photos ? Why like them in the first place when he knows u don’t like it? It seems like nothing but excuses on his end . I wouldn’t be able to deal with that .

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Ah id get rid fullstop

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Run girl. It’s just gonna get worse. He’s cheating.

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I mean while it would hurt my feelings for my husband to like a female’s photos or looking them up on Facebook etc., it isn’t that big of a deal. It’s more of a insecurity issue for me.
Going to a “black lingerie lunch” (I don’t know what that is but assuming it’s like Hooters but with lingerie?) I wouldn’t care unless he tried to hide it. Because if you feel like you have to hide it from me then you knew you shouldn’t do it. If you tell me then if i have an issue with it all I can say is I’d prefer you not go there anymore but understand you didnt see an issue with it. Pretty simple. Did he request the location be turned off? So you wouldn’t be upset where he goes or because he doesn’t want you to know where he goes? Either is not a good thing but I could accept it being a cause of issues and just wanting it to be avoided.
However, deleting messages is a no no. Now I’d be wondering what they said? Did he say something inappropriate and didn’t want me to see? Or ? And if he didn’t why delete them? My husband an I had this issue too. A woman he worked with would message and call him all the time. I made it known it made me uncomfortable and he assured me it was just work related(talking about trucks) Which is was initially. But I told him no woman just calls a coworker male or female like that because she wants to talk business ALL THE TIME. He didn’t see what I saw. Then one day the messages were deleted. Hmm​:thinking::thinking: So I asked about it and he said she started asking if he had any single friends etc. and it made him uncomfortable so he stopped talking to her. But I STILL, 8 years later do NOT understand why the message would need to be deleted?
So no deleting messages is NEVER acceptable. The imagination will do more harm in that situation than anything. Plus, again, if you feel the need to hide it from your spouse, regardless what it is, DO NOT DO IT!
So other than the messages I think everything else can be resolved with a simply conversation of your expectations and preferences on how he behaves or shows respect to you. The messages needs conversation and a bit more addressing in my opinion.

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You can’t let it go because your body senses something is seriously off. You don’t want to ignore intuition it’s there for a reason. And ignoring it can create battling or conflicting mindsets within you which leads to long term anxiety etc. our bodies were built with intuition for a reason. And regardless of whether he’s cheating physically or not. He’s hiding and lying so he’s well on his way. Any honest man doesn’t go around deleting and hiding things. If you have to hide it you know it’s wrong. Hugs mama. Hope you can learn your self worth and own it.

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Let him know two can play same game.

Play the game, than. He wants to b like that? Why can’t you b friendly, To you’re guy friends🤷🏽‍♀️ vice versa he don’t like it? Than, you throw him. This ^

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Let him go. He doesn’t deserve your crazy overbearing crap

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We you wont be able to forget or get over it. He is lying/hiding small things, therefore he will lie about anything!! Doesn’t sound like a good relationship for you :pleading_face::heart:

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First off… you turned off locations because it would cause problems? It would only cause problems if he is doing something wrong… which it sounds like he is

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