How can I get my 3-year-old to stop hitting?

Hey mamas I need serious help!! My 3 year old son has been a non stop hitter the last few months. He even punched his dad in the face, everything makes him mad. I have tried spanking him and he just turns around and hits me back and I have tired timeout, taking toys away, everything. We have tired talking calmly to him and he just gets angry and his little brother is starting to pick it up. Any advice will be super helpful.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my 3-year-old to stop hitting?

Sounds like he is having issues communicating. Take him to be evaluated.

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Ask him why. Even littles have emotions and don’t know how to handle them or say how they feel. Maybe look into some children’s books on …how to recognize emotions and how to say what they are. It will help you as well. There’s a reason for his anger. Find that reason …find a solution for the reason and I promise he will no longer hit. I’ve raised 4 just in case that helps. I’ve always learned there’s a reason for their outbursts. Sometimes it’s just for attention. They may feel lonely. God bless.

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Watch super nanny videos she’s awesome but I remember one of her videos she said something about if you’re trying to get them to stop hitting don’t hit them they will just mimic what you are doing… I always did timeouts with my daughter I set a timer 1 min for every year of her age so 3 minutes for your son you have to ignore him while he’s in timeout he has to sit there alone no toys no tv and if he gets up you have to take him by the hand back to the timeout spot without saying anything just keep putting him back there be consistent might take a day or two but he will get it eventually and don’t give chances he hits one time that’s it right to timeout and when the timer is done you have to go sit across from him at his level and calmly explain why he had to go in timeout and he has to apologize or he cannot come out let him get mad you don’t have to make your kids happy all the time

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Discipline? I know these days that sort of thing is so evil but yeah… There isnt always some deeper issue omg my kid needs therapy type stuff. But what do i know. I’m a guy.

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Part of the issue is you’re hitting him. He thinks it’s acceptable behaviour because you do it to him.

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Part of the issue is you’re hitting him. He thinks it’s acceptable behaviour because you do it to him.

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Well in my opinion spanking him is counter productive. Maybe try spending the day with just him? Have dad stay with the baby and have just a mommy and son day. He could be jealous.

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Do some deep breathing with him or get him to count to ten or five fingers on your hand. This will help him calm if he follows you doing the actions and you will feel calmer too. Nobody likes being told what to do or told no so he just needs to let out his feelings then allow him to calm using this technique and then explain to him how you understand he wants something or how he feels and that’s ok but it is not ok to hit or lash out physically at another person even when mad. Alternatively you could give him something to hit like a balloon and make it a game when he is upset, bring out the balloon and play some balloon tennis. Good luck

my three year old is the same, and when he gets over exited or over stimulated he tends to do it more. sadly i have no advice, i’m trying with the “gentle hands” reminders but it doesn’t always work. i don’t agree with time outs so i’ve never done that, and if you’re hitting him back then he will most definitely continue because you’re showing him that hitting is OK. children need help to calm down, they need help to regulate. i’m still working on all of this with my son, it’s hard.

Is he verbal, do you talk about feelings and how to express them.
Daniel Tiger on PBS can help get you there.
The idea is to start with the communication part before they are acting out that way when they start acting out you can direct them to those feeling words and then redirect their actions.
My 3yo can tell me when she’s angry, feeling left out, sad, etc. and then we’re able to talk about how to make her feel better.
Start with Daniel tiger…

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I wonder where he learned that…

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I was about to tell you to hit him back exactly where he did , hard even enough so he can feel it but not hard enough to hurt him.
But , seems like you should talk to his pediatrician for a evaluation, maybe he has an undiagnosed mental illness, the soon you find out the soon he will start getting help .

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You sit them down and talk ro them

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Corner time is cruel just saying

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Does he watch anything that condones that? My son is 3 and watches all the superheros and tried hitting and I had to explain to him that superheros don’t hurt good people only monsters and villains.

Or if he likes superheros even explain that to him anyways that he’s a superhero and is there to protect which means keeping everyone safe not hurting them.

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Give him some other kind of release. Catch it before he gets that angry. Easier said then done sometimes but it helps.
Encourage him to hit his pillow when he is angry. Run laps of the back yard. Have some time out.
Deep breaths etc

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That happened to my son few years back. I consulted some moms and read articles and applied everything that I learned and it worked after few months of consistency. What I learned is, spanking will never help, if it did it only made my kid’s attitude worse. When he starts acting out, I always kneel so that we were on “eye to eye” while I was talking to him. I always composed myself and I always tried my best not to shout, and have a regulated tone while I talked. Communication is always the key. Always asked him why he is acting that way, and asked him if hitting others would resolve his issue. And I told him if it would be me hitting him just like what he does would be okay for him. He realized things and he would normally calm down. I also learned and realized that I lack spending time with my kid thats why is was acting out, I spent time with him, and we also lessen his screen time. We also spent more time hiking, and going to the beach with our kid. And believe me, spanking will only teach your kid that hitting is okay. He is now 7 year old and I could say that he is a good boy and gentle parenting really helped him/us. Its a slow progress but is very effective. I am very proud of my son.

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When my lil one did that, I would put on a sad face and say you sore sore mummy, that hurt mummy and makes me sad and scared. Usually he would show remorse. Can you rub sore sore better and say sorry to Mum.

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Be consistent. Do not smack!! Besides the fact you’re hitting your child, violence breeds violence, as you’ve found! Hold hands, repeat no hitting. Kind hands. Just keep doing it every time. As frustrating as it is, he’s expressing his own frustrations as he doesn’t have his full language yet nor understanding of his feelings. Reward with praise and a high 5 when you see him playing nicely and using his kind hands

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Consistent consequences to his negative behavior. Every single time he hits, put him in time out. Tell him why. He is 3. That is old enough to know better. Yes, he might need postive attention as well. But consistency with expectations of behavior will change his behaviors.

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When my oldest did that I would make him sit in a chair across from me with his hands palm down on his lap…n told him If he can’t use his hands correctly he can’t use them at all … After the third or fourth time he stopped hitting completely

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He definitely needs to see a specialist if he’s repeatedly hitting and everything makes him mad.

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And wait for the Karen’s to come out more than they have.

Bloody hell nothing wrong with a gentle smack on the bum or hand shit it didn’t do me any harm.

I stopped speaking to my four year for 2 days. I had tried everything as well and the only thing that respond in his head was me not talking to him. I told him one good time if he hits me again I won’t speak to him and now he doesn’t hit or scream at me.

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At three, they don’t understand consequences that well…so hitting him is just him learning the behavior from you. At this age, they just copy everything that you are doing. The best thing you can do is show him good behavior by putting him on a routine, like in the mornings brushing teeth, change clothes and breakfast time. They don’t really know right or wrong right now. If they make mistakes, just show him the right way. It’s just repetition and routine.

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When our children act…we instantly react without a lot of informed decision. But …out of …shot gun …public expected …guilt or shame reactions. We may not be making the best decisions…especially at that moment. Or finding out why they acted as they did.

If he’s at kindergarten there might be children doing it to him

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Spanking him is just teaching him its acceptable behaviour

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When someone hits you, takes away your things, etc do you calm down or get more angry?

Children are the same. Have you tried positive reinforcement? When my son hits I act like I’m hurt and reach for a hug or kiss instead. Does he always take it? Hell no lmao. But how are our children going to learn to control our anger if we can’t even do it? If my son is throwing a tantrum, he can cry all he wants. He has emotions, and he should be able to feel his emotions all he wants. If he hits, I do what I said above.

Once the child is calmed down you can talk to them about how they’re feeling, why they’re feeling that way, and what to do better next time. Maybe he needs an outlet. It takes time and patience from parents to accomplish this.

We can’t just expect our kids to turn off emotions because we hit them/punish them/take away things etc. if anything it makes them more mad. Children are humans too.

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Planned ignoring and included time out helped tremendously with my son. With that being said it was very hard ar first. By planned ignoring I mean let him throw his fit but in a safe place and don’t give any attention. If he’s hurting himself block it with a pillow etc and avoid words or eye contact. Included time out I pulled his chair back from the table etc when he misbehaved so he got the point im not going to be included if im doing this. But as soon as he was calm we’d scoot back to the table and continue like it never happened. Over time he realized he got more attention being good than when he misbehaved

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If you spank him then you’re showing him it’s ok to hit?
My sons been through a phase of hitting when he’s mad he’s just turned 4 and still does it, I don’t shout i just remove myself away and say I don’t like it when you hit me that hurts mummy, you can also say gentle hands or give him something like a pillow and say ‘if you need to hit something hit this pillow’ xx

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Honestly he might grow out of it I noticed you don’t speak about the communication you have with your child. Maybe you guys don’t have the best communication, that can affect their reactions to certain situations that can become very frustrating

When he acts out and hits, show him some love. Tickle him, give hugs, turn the negative situation into a game. Once they are out of their bad mood they will be able to start responding more appropriately. Hitting a child will only make him hit more. Yelling will make them yell back. Show him that his emotions are valid but model good ways to express them.

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If he’s hitting,why hit him? All that teaches him is violence on violence. Time out. Longer each time.

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Put him in a Jiu-Jitsu class

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Find out what is setting him off. He’s got some big emotions and He is expressing through hitting. Note what is going on before he starts hitting. Is he overstimulated? Tired, hungry? Three year olds aren’t good at expressing themselves through words yet. When he starts to hit remove him from the situation for a cool down period let him pick a crayon based on what he is feeling blue for sad, red for angry, yellow for frustration, black for unsure or multiple emotions. And a blank sheet of paper. Have him scribble or draw wha t is bothering him. Talk rough poh

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You want a child to stop hitting so you…hit…them…just take a minute and figure that out…

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He’s got the 80’s and westerns down ; what else does he do?

For a start its not okay to hit ur child. Secondly ur teaching ur child that what they are already doing is acceptable behaviour.
Just tell ur child , u mustn’t do that, it hurts mummy/brother or whoever. And remove yourself from the situation. Or find a way to distract I.e a tickle or something . There’s something that triggers this behaviour and it’s your job to try and find out what to then help the situation. And I’ve been through this for the last 5 years , my daughters autistic and violent. So I know.

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You want him to stop hitting…so you hit him back by spanking him? :woman_facepalming:t2: He’s going to think that’s okay!

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My daughter dont hit but when she gets mad she literally hides from everyone. We keep reassuring her its okay and she has to learn to sort her emotions. It sounds like he is having trouble communicating. Like what emotion fits what and how to talk show them correctly.

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Sooo the OP asked for thoughts on other routes to solve the issue… Not once did she mention ANY OPINION ON HER SPANKING , considering she admitted it DIDNT WORK .so instead of being obnoxious , either keep scrolling or provide insight to another method other than she has listed as tried and not working .

Personally I’ve have spanked my kids (2kids) less than a handful of times combined in the 8 years they’ve been alive (8&9yo’s) my kids are very well rounded , intelligent and emotionally mature in the sense of recognizing their mood shifts and expressing why and wanting to talk it out / reach out for help of they can’t get past it on their own. Not saying “spanking is ok” or whatever so calm down karens of the internet… Just saying there is a world of difference in a one off situation spanking and a child getting blantenly beaten . I’ve worked for the juvenile court system, I’ve worked closely with child protective services and have had family in law enforcement / different areas involving family dynamics etc . they’ve all agreed on this difference ; you do realize “studies” are literally CONTROLLED variables (typically) right ? So results are typically based on what variables are CHOSEN to be studied , right ?

ANYWHO…
Majority of my punishment for my kids have involved a time increased time out. Every couple mins I offered to speak with them and “level with them” on what happened, why and things to do different the next time feelings or situations like that occur. If they weren’t ready to talk (still having a fit, grunting, hitting etc ) then I let them know I will try again in a couple mins. And I basically “ignored” them that time in between , not in a malicious way. Usually their time in between before being calm involved them yelling , throwing etc and I ignored it to show we weren’t focusing on those things , we were focusing on a solution for them to calm down and figure out what happened and why and a better reaction the next time .

EVERY KID IS DIFFERENT., it WILL take trial and error to find a calm down method for your little. Don’t stress. Revisit a few ideas like the taking things and time outs and such , explore whatever new routes you feel may help YOUR child. It’ll all come together :white_heart:

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Hitting teaches hitting (is ok). You hit you sit… every. time.

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I tell my 3yr old “it’s ok to be mad, it’s not ok to be mean” I then tell him if he needs a minute go chill out in his room, pull himself together then we’ll fix the issue. Works 9 times out of 10. Other times all I have to tell him is it’s ok to be mad and he goes to his room on his own

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Try to ask what the problem is talk about how he’s feeling and then try to come up with a solution to the problem. If he’s not ready to talk about it give him space to calm down first.

I have the same issue!!!

Stop in mid swing. Grab a hold of his little arms and teach him how to direct his anger. Teach him it’s ok to be angry, it isn’t ok to hit. Teach him and his brother “gentle hands”. He is probably frustrated with something going on like having to share attention with a younger sibling and doesn’t know how to direct it.

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All of a sudden everyone’s an expert… wonder why we have so many snowflakes anymore. Everyone’s too afraid to spank their kid.

If spanking isn’t working, put them in their room till they stop flipping out and being mean. They’ll throw a tantrum. My daughter does. Ignore them and the screaming for 15-20 mins. Comes out after totally fine. Sometimes they need to figure out how to work through their anger alone.

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Maybe try rewarding the non hitting times? If he is angry and does not choose hitting but instead he shouts you could immediately respond to that say by saying I know your mad but great choosing not to hit and using your voice instead. This will allow him an opportunity to see his reaction is his choice. It also gives you a fresh response to focus on the positive.

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Wow, you’re getting a bit of everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Many times this type of acting out can have more than one reason it’s happening.
Often communication is the key. Finding the why is very important in helping solve the negative actions.
Is he being over stimulated? Is he upset with something that happened to him? Is he watching overly physical type of shows? Just because a show is animated, doesn’t mean it’s child appropriate. Oftentimes, parents might not even know that there’s negative parts to a show.
Positive reinforcement with actions on you or your Husband part can help. Showing sadness and asking him to please stop hurting you. Ask him to use words to let you know why he is so angry. Teach him words he can use instead of hitting. A 3 year old doesn’t often know the best way to express their feelings. Especially if they are frustrated about something, there is a feeling of doing something physical to get tat frustration out.
Redirection can be a good tool to use too. When he hits, start using your words on how you feel while he’s hitting you. Then go to first person and start saying what you would do if you were sad or frustrated or angry.
‘I am very sad that you are hitting me. I would like you to stop and tell me how I can help you.’
‘It hurts me when you hit me. Mommies want to hug and kiss their little boys, can I hug you?’
‘Please stop, it is not nice to hit others. Let’s talk and see if we can figure out a better way to get out your frustration.’ ‘I get angry too sometimes. When I do I take some deep breaths like this.’ In through my nose, and make my lungs really full. Then I blow out through my mouth and see how much I can get out. Sometimes I do it 3 or 4 times. It always makes me feel better.’

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Grab him by one arm and spank his butt with your other hand while yelling “STOP”. Repeat as needed

He evidently is going through some emotions that’s making him angry enough to hit…have you tried asking him what has him so angry…if you can’t get him to talk to you take him to his doctor and talk to them.my son started that when he was 2 we found out when started school he was adhd as he got older around 10 he was diagnosed with adhd add and Manic Bipolar he is now 32 and still takes meds for it and he has anger issues but he can control now…do something while he is young…it maybe something that’s causing you not aware of bc usually at 3 a child minds a parent

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There’s a reason he is hitting, there’s a need he needs meeting. Likely he is having a need and you are not able to identify it and he is frustrated and hitting as a result. We aren’t just born knowing how to handle any emotions it’s taught and learned. Examples of what’s happening when he is mad and lashing out would be helpful.

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You’re spanking a THREE year old who doesn’t know how to properly process or handle his emotions? He also probably has no clue why you’re hitting on him. At they age they push boundaries and the anger comes from the inability to process emotions like anger because they have to be TAUGHT how to process. All you’ve taught him is that when he’s feeling a certain way instead of getting help he gets hit on.

How is his speech? Kids who are unable to properly communicate verbally usually become aggressive out of frustration. If he’s not speaking well at 3 then he needs to be evaluated.

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You’re not in this boat alone. My 2.5 year old has been hitting as well. I’ve also tried literally everything and have read multiple books. I’ve come to the conclusion that “hopefully” it’s just a phase. We do two warnings then time out in his room alone until he’s calm. It’s the only thing that helps.

Do not let all the experts here belittle you for spanking. I’ve been there done that as a last resort and found out it didn’t help either. We’re hard enough in ourselves for it and don’t need the added negativity from “perfect” moms. Raising tiny humans is hard and we all just need to support one another.

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All these ppl saying spanking teaches the kid hitting is ok… no it doesnt… theres a difference in the hitting he is doing, and tearing his behind up with a belt.

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Tell him before it happens about hitting
When it goes to happen grab his hands tell him NO. This is not ok
Then I would put him in his room for a few every time it happens

It’s just plain hard. I usually give him a timeout warning and ask him to express himself in a safer way. Then if he continues. I sit him in time out for two minutes. It works by the (typically) first but sometimes second seating.

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Well, hitting him when you want him to stop hitting is counterproductive.

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Stop teaching him hitting is okay. Let your individual therapist know you’re ready to address your lack of emotion management skills and see if your county offers parenting classes.
It would be a start anyway.

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If hes fighting you with spanking dont do that anymore. It obviously doesnt work for him

I know I’m probably going catch some backlash for this one. But we teach you get what you give if you hit you get hit back if you bite you get bit back if you pinch🤷 and throwing a tantrum you can go to your room for that you do not have the right to disturb everyone else’s peace. Now with that being said we always sit down together at dinner and do what I call highs & lows it’s where each person gets their turn to speak and they tell you the highest point of their day being the best part of their day and the lowest point of their day what upset them the most. And we talk about it how it made them feel and what can be done and how to handle it. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to spank your child as long as they understand why they’re in trouble 1 and 2 hugs and I love you are shows more than they get in trouble. Understanding that your child is not just a kid he’s human with feelings and emotions to its your job as a parent that guide and teach them when where and how to deal with it.

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I tell my daughter she’s allowed to hit pillows if she feels like she needs needs hit something bc shes so mad :woman_shrugging: As an adult I get that too so ill let her physically release if that’s what she needs. It’s curbed the hitting for us. Also having conversations after shes calm about being kind and hitting. No point having the convo while they’re upset, the memory part of their brain isn’t engaged. We have a little book called hands are not for hitting we started reading constantly when we had a small hitting issue.

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You don’t solve hitting by hitting. Talk about confusing messages.

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Hit his butt back. Stop being afraid to discipline kids. If you don’t start now it will get worse. Firm talking and a butt or hand slap is not abuse.

Three is a rough age. People say “terrible twos” but it’s definitely "The Terrible Threes. "
Your kiddo needs help knowing what to do with his anger. Stop his hitting immediately and tell him calmly, “You are feeling angry but we don’t hit.”
Then immediately give him other options. Getting him to take a deep breath in and out is a first step. Is there a quiet, safe place he can rest or recharge? You could take him outside and have him run? Give him some other options for his anger. Do not allow him to hit you though. If nothing works, remove yourself from the situation. Tell him you will talk to him when he is ready but he will not hit you.
Also, at 3, he may just need more attention, love and connection from you and is finding that hitting is getting him attention.

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I would have him checked out by his doctor to make sure there isn’t anything medically wrong.

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Teaching a child not to hit with spanking does not work. My son was this way, he sits on the chair in the hallway till he calmed down to apologize, hug and talk it out .

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Physical punishments don’t work, especially at such a young age. Try some breathing/calming techniques, try some yoga with him, separate him from the situation and give him a distraction from the emotion like drawing or coloring or some type of craft

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Autism I expected the same way. Please have him checked out good luck

I feel this. My 3 year old is my youngest and by far my hardest. He has the worst temper and hits all the time. And not going to lie he’s made me cry a few times because of how hard he is to handle sometimes. So I’d love some advice also

Try the opposite, rewards chart for not hitting, after a day of no hitting or two or three whatever is age appropriate give a small reward. Break the day into smaller pieces of needed.

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He’s just exploring his emotions and boys are typically more physical than girls it’s just how they’re wired. The most important thing for a young child that age to understand is that it’s alright to have the emotions he’s having, he just simply needs to make better choices when expressing them. That takes time and patience and it takes a listening ear and allot of understanding. Just try to encourage him to have his feelings but express them in a more positive way. If you do this then this will pass.

Tell him he needs to use “nice hands” or “soft hands” and demonstrate a few different things like tickling or rubbing or stuff like that because hitting isn’t nice. And if he needs to get some anger out physically he should hit a pillow or something soft so he doesn’t hurt anyone. I’ve been working on it with my 2.5 year old and it’s a struggle🥴

Lol vinegar every time he hits put a splash of vinegar in his mouth

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I have several different thoughts.
*First and foremost is understanding and recognizing what are and are not appropriate consequences for his age. At three, his consequences should relate directly to what he’s done wrong and they should be fairly short term. If he’s hitting you because it’s time to stop playing and eat…then the toy he was playing with gets put away but only for the rest of the day.
*Second, it’s important to talk to him. Make sure that these conversations are not in the middle of a meltdown, so he’s calm enough to understand what’s being said. Ask him what he did wrong…why it was wrong…and what he can do differently? Essentially the last question is re-routing the impulse to hit. (We got my oldest to growl instead of hit)
*Third. Give as little attention as possible. Yes. He’ll be angry when you take that toy away. He may melt down. He may even try to hit again. At that point? Walk. Away. Make an sort of “offhanded” comment like “I really wish child would calm down so we could talk” and then walk away from him. It doesn’t have to be far…just far enough that you’re not feeding into the behavior by giving him attention for it.
*Four. “Reward” not hitting. If there’s a situation where he would hit…and he chooses not to…give him a reward. Nothing big expensive or flashy…but maybe praise and a sticker. Or a small treat (like 1 chocolate chip ect)

I acknowledge his frustration but set the rule firm. You can be mad, you can be upset, but you can’t hit. And I have him reel it in before it gets that far. Emotions are tough but you’re have to set boundaries and help him take control

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My son is five now I talked to him until I was blue in the face. I took things away time out etc. I don’t play hitting he tried it and I popped him back one good time and he got the point. Kids will test you to see what they can get away with. I use to tell him everyday to keep his hands to himself even at school. My nephew is 4 and he hits his mom and his dad because they allow it. His mom don’t spank him at all he was hitting his dad below the belt quite often then he started hitting him back now he no longer hits him…but he still hits his mom because she don’t put a stop to it… every child is different every household is different you have to find what works for your son. He has to know who the adult is they definitely act out and don’t know how to control their emotions. Make him an appointment it won’t hurt to see if it any other things going on. My son was diagnosed with ADHD back in Dec

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I don’t know why parents think that hitting their children will in turn stop them hitting :thinking:. It tends to have the opposite effect and normalises violence. It’s banned in Scotland and think it needs to be in other countries. He’s probably at a stage where his verbal development isn’t sufficient to deal with feelings he’s overwhelmed with. Try to try helping him verbalise what he’s feeling even if you have to do time out till he’s calmed down sufficiently.

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When my niece hits I take her arms and wrap them around her body like a hug and tell her it’s not nice to hit. It works pretty well.

Spanking is hitting, so you’re confusing him. You hit him when you’re mad at his behavior, so he will learn the same.

I would start by apologizing for spanking or hitting him. Tell him you don’t want to hurt him and you want to help him deal with those big feelings.

Order some books about anger, angry feeling, feeling mad. Put as many words to feelings as you can and help him learn ways it is ok to express them. Let him hit his pillow. Scream in his pillow. Draw his anger. (This one helps us a LOT - even angry scribbles with a crayon can help him calm down) Giving him lots of ways to express the feelings without being hurt for having them is so important!

(I was raised with spanking and have had to retrain my own brain because of it. Hitting teaches hitting. How would you want a teacher to respond to him? With compassion and to teach him a healthy way to communicate the anger. I have to remind myself of that regularly.)

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Kids typically resort to physical action when they lack the words to express their feelings. Try talking to him about what’s bothering him. Do it in a non-judgmental way. Let him know that he isn’t in trouble for having feelings, but that it isn’t appropriate to express himself through violence. And that goes for you, too. Don’t spank him, you’re just teaching him that authority figures are allowed to hit those they disagree with. Violence begets violence.

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Put your hand up and say STOP, firmly. Do not yell or raise your voice. Just say stop and nothing else and then walk away. If he continues or follows you, do it again. Do not say anything else. When you say STOP, have a serious face. Do this everytime. Do not give unnecessary attention. Just STOP, with your hand up as a stop and then walk away.

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So let me get this right…:thinking::thinking: to stop your kid from HITTING you HIT him?? That seems like the most logical thing to do. Mmhhmm yes :face_with_monocle:

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I’m sorry, but can you please explain to me how you expect to stop him from hitting by spanking him? You are simply reinforcing that when things don’t go your way that you should resort to physical violence. There is a lot of good advice here, but it all starts with you setting the example. Everytime you lose your patience because a 3 year old hasn’t learned appropriate behavior for his feelings you demonstrate to him how he shouldn’t behave.

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I got a pinwheel for my daughter to blow on to calm down to where we could talk to her. We let her pick a spot in the house she can go to with the pinwheel (she calls her feelings flower) what she does when she’s upset having big feelings (hitting I look at as having big feelings bc at that age they don’t really know how to navigate those feelings) she goes to her spot blows on the wheel calms down, me and my husband (if he’s home) we go in there sit with her and talk about those feelings. When she hit she didn’t understand that it hurt and asked us to show her so we did (not hard but just enough.) After that she never hit again. We do this with everything if she gets in trouble I explain why what she did was inappropriate and she goes to her spot for a few minutes then comes out gives love and we go about our day

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Get you a switch…pop his naked legs and butt

You might try catching his hands holding them and saying “No!” In a firm voice. Then I would sit him in a chair or stand with him in a corner to be sure he stays there and say “We aren”t going to hit”. Then after a short time, let him go back to play. If he hits again, repeat. It may take awhile, but it might work.

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well first off, spanking your child is teaching them hitting is okay. If I hit you, it would be called assault. Idk why parents think a form of physical discipline is going to teach their kids that physical abuse isn’t okay. Taking toys away from a 3 year old isn’t going to show them that’s not okay because they’ll get the toys back & they know better. Firmly grab his hands & keep saying “no” also if it’s that bad, start getting him into behavioural management(:

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You can also get something like this! It’ll help teach them their emotions and what to do

Have you tried talking to God about it or looking in his instruction book for raising his children? There in is your answer

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You mean to tell me, you spanked him and it didn’t work??? I’m shocked that he hit you back when you hit him 🤦🤦🤦

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He is 3 years old he doesn’t understand his feelings and how to handle them yet. Just be there for him while he is dysregulated, help him identify what this big feelings are and empathize but must important learn to identify the causes of those big feelings and anticipate to prevent the meltdowns. It is not easy but it will pass…
Also follow Dr. Becky at Good Inside for good parenting strategies

Dare to dicipline Dr. James Dobson was a good book to read!

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