How can I get my 5 year old to listen?

I don’t know how to discipline my 5-year-old. She used to be a REALLY good baby and kid, and I never had any issues. Now lately, her attitude is out of hand. She screams at me. Literally screams. I’ve done time outs today, and I’ve taken toys and things she wants away. She told me she hates all her toys anyway and doesn’t care. Then she proceeds to tell me she wants me to go out and buy her all new. I try to sit her down and talk to her, and she just talks over me and yells. Any advice would be appreciated.

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How does she do with being alone? Can you make her stay in her room and take out almost everything but a bed?

Spank her butt, that has worked many.

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Does nobody whoop their kids anymore???

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Have you been through a major life change? A lot of times, these types of sudden behavioral issues are manifestations of negative feelings that they don’t know how to express. It could be all the craziness this year has brought upon us. Try compassion, listening, opportunities to connect, and reinforce consistency. You’d be surprised how much extra humanity can help. “Whooping her” will only make things worse in the long run, despite what so many others believe. Imagine if you were suffering emotionally and the people you trusted most decided that what you needed was physical pain. Love her.

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Kids will only do what you allow them too. Remember you’re the parent. Tell her if she wants new stuff she’ll have to get a job (chores) and earn it. As far as talking over you she needs to know it’s very disrespectful. Once again you’re the parent. She knows you’re not doing anything about her talking over you so she’ll only continue to do so until you put your foot down. At her age she should have already known about manners, and if she was my child continuing to talk over me she’d get a spanking. If time outs aren’t working then you already know what you may need to do. :woman_shrugging:t5:

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Routines are necessary. I also get my son to help me around the house. We play together IF he helps me.

I try to not be on the phone until he’s in bed. Mombie all the way.

If I say no, I don’t change my mind.

As for the toys, HE donates often. When he lets go of some, I buy him one.

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Time outs, leave her in her room until she has calmed down. That always worked when I was young. Xx

I whoop my kids butts !

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Mine gets popped in the mouth for mouthing off. Nooooppppe.

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Do NOT hit your child

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Smack her ass. She’s out of control and if you don’t get her under control your just getting a touch of her attitude.

Good ol fashion ass whoopin… When she screams, pop her on the mouth… I’m not talking child abuse, but make it sting. She’ll stop.

This is going to sound mean but hear me out you have to find what breaks their heart in the moment. Spanking did not work for my son he would literally turn around and say that didn’t hurt. Took away everything and he would play with his toes. I knew I had to find something to get through to him before he got out of control. So then I did. The time out chair. I put him in the corner with his nose on the wall and ignored him. It broke his heart. He would beg and plead for me to look at him or talk to him and I ignored him. I started this and would do it for 5 minutes max then for him to get out he had to tell me what he did wrong. Why it was wrong and if he couldn’t I would make him go back for 2 minutes. Changed him completely after the second time. He learned that actions have consequences. Every kid is different you just have to find what works. Best wishes I hope you find what works for your little one.

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Same here except mine are 3. My twins are horrible. We have done everything from corner, room, taking toys away it doesn’t matter they still dont listen :unamused:

My daughter started acting like this when she started school it pisses me off

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I’d first try to teach her with some empathy. Like, act very hurt and tell her that we don’t treat the ones we loves like that especially. We don’t talk over people and we don’t demand things. That is a mean person. Anyway if that doesn’t phase her then she may need to learn respect and decent behavior the hard way. Discipline should be swift (right when it happens) and certain (consistent so she knows it will happen every time) and punishment must fit the crime (this works more for older kids). So if she talks back to you or screams over you (or whatever she is doing) you immediately get up and say you don’t behave that way you don’t speak to mommy that way (or however you want to word it) and take her by the hand/shoulder/arm and place her in time out or in her room for however long etc - listen, all kids are different so the punishment level varies. Best of luck!

I made my daughter do 20 push-ups to start. If she argued more, it was 10 more added. I didn’t argue back. Simply said, “give me 20”. Now, her being 10, all I have to say is, “do you want to do push-ups?” and she (most of the time lol) stops arguing. Good luck on your parenting journey :two_hearts:

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Don’t wanna whoop her… make her stand with her nose in the corner. Kids at this age need to be taught what consequences are. I bet a few times of making her uncomfortable standing in time out and she’ll remember the consequences for her bad behavior next time.

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I put toys in time out. It works amazing. Just a short 3 minutes.

My little girl started that screaming/ yelling at me when she didn’t get her way. A little bop on the mouth solved that. I only had to do it a few times and she doesn’t do it anymore. Just enough to started her, not enough to hurt. Kind of like spraying a cat I guess?

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Look up PCIT and follow their communication guidelines. It’s life changing.

Her little remark about her toys would have earned her a room with bed,dresser , and clothes. After getting rid of them . She would be giving stuff she could do to earn her money to spend or save her choice.

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I put my 5 year old in time out in the dark in his bedroom. He hates that. He can scream and throw a fit as long as he wants. But He has to stay on his bed in the dark with the door shut until I come back in. It gives us both time to calm down. Usually about 5-10 mins max. Then, when he’s calmed down, I go in and sit and hug him and tell him I love him. And then we talk about what happened and how it makes us feel and what we can do to make it better. It makes me feel bad doing the time out like that but when he was 4, time outs on a chair in the corner started not to work anymore. I had to step it up on the « I’m the parent and you will have consequences » level. We rarely resort to this anymore. He usually starts to behave better after the « do you need consequences or a time out » question is asked paired with a stern look. When I was younger, we had an isolation room in the foster home where I lived with my parents (who worked there). The kids would be put in there for hours when they misbehaved. It was the only way they understood as most of the kids were mentally disabled. It was a dark room with a chair and nothing else. I thought that was pretty sad even as a kid. But I understand the principle of dark and isolation as a method of reflexion and achieving a certain level of exhaustion/ calmness. I wouldn’t put my own kid in a room like that but I do believe that he needs time to calm down without any distractions. His bedroom is a calm and comforting place for him so he eventually stops his fit and is open to communication. Hope this helps. Remember first and foremost love is the most important thing a child needs.

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Bite down on a bar of ivory soap lol I sure learned fast lol

Time out and also ignore it it works for my kids if they say something like I don’t like that or I don’t love you or I don’t care I’ll just straight up tell him hey I’m going to ignore you until you can talk to me and tell you can drop the negative attitude and I will until they come up to me and say Mom I’m sorry and when I take away things I take away things that they enjoy like my four-year-old really enjoys YouTube Minecraft video games and he knows if he doesn’t listen he won’t be able to play those at all and I use those as more of a reward if they are good that day then they get to play their game watch a movie a couple hours before bed most of the day I take away all electronics until the evening

Spanking never works for me. It makes them mader and because I have more than one kiddo they will take out more aggression on a sibling. Sooo… when it gets really really bad and counting doesn’t calm them down (counting no longer works either now :unamused:) I honestly have to lock my 5 year old in her room for about 5 min intervals. The toys don’t interest her at all when she’s in that mood. She has broken to door a little though.

What does she REALLY love or enjoy? Take that away. Sometimes a pop on the butt or mouth helps. Also, ignore her, walk away, etc; attention is attenion whether it’s positive or negative. Consistency, is key!!! Tough love. It hurts us more than them.
My kids used to say they didn’t care all the time; do it anyway, because they do; tell her she might as well give them away, put them in a trash bag and pretend to throw them away… Or actually throw/give a few away, show her you mean business. You ARE MOM, not friend.

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What she needs is a smack on the back side.

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The main thing is consistency and keeping your word when u make threats
5yr olds test boundaries all the time. You have to prove u will keep ur word. Over and over again

We do time out by sending to room. She stays in her room for 5 mins (1 min for each yr of her age) and then I make sure to get on her level and explain why she was in trouble, and EXACTLY how she is expected to behave.

We validate feelings, and we ensure she learns proper coping mechanisms (like breathing deep) to deal with big emotions.

Good luck. Stay consistent

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My almost 4 year old has daily temper too your not alone kids do it for attention and boredom i found doing activities during the day helps and also cooking therapy and spend more outside seems to work my girl has ptsd outburst

Try talking over her, Thebes screens. Lol

Wow sounds like she has zero respect for you. Stand your ground momma YOU are the parent. Take control of the situation and only say what you mean and mean what you say! No idle threats cuz that’s how they lose respect for a parent.

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Flat out ask her what’s really been bothering her she may tell you.

Lmao I’ve been going through that with my son since he was that age, it’s getting better but it still happens when he freaks out! I started a behaviour chart with him, if he has a good full week he gets a prize, that prize will either be going out somewhere just him and mom or dad or he has a PS3 and quite often gets that taken away so if he has a good full week he gets that back. But when he’s having one of his outbursts we’ve noticed that it gets better by letting him lose his cool, he can stomp and yell and slam his door, he goes and calms down for like 10/15mins then I’ll go in and sit down AT HIS LEVEL and be like “are you done? Ready to talk now?” And usually he is and he’s getting a lot quicker at apologizing for his anger and outbursts, we just don’t react at all, if he has an outburst it’s immediate sad face on his behaviour chart and he doesn’t like that! He’s 8.5 years old and it’s still going on, just not as bad!

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If shes like this at 5 wait til shes 15 shes guna be ruling the roost, stamp down on her now… nek minit she’ll be telling you whats up Oops that’s right she already is Lmao

Give appropriate punishments, ie if you break a toy it goes in the bin, if u throw a toy, it gets given away to a child who will actually appreciate it. One time my son thought he would pull the “i dont care, my dad will buy me new toys” lol ok, filled up a BIG plastic bag and let him watch me throw them in the bin. Go silly about the tv? Lose tv for a week. Being rude? That hurts my feelings, i dont feel like hanging out or talking right now. Heres some options on what you could do to entertain yourself and im going outside for a smoke, we will talk when mums feeling a bit better. scream at me? Get. Outside. Thats ur OUTSIDE voice damnit you already know that!

Ooh id be so fucking unimpressed with my 5 year old!! In saying that he did get a boost of testosterone at 4 that made him preeeeetty intense for about 6 months, but it was a phase and consistency won out in the end, maybe this is a phase for your bubs too?

Are you sure something didn’t happen to her that you are unaware of? Is there a custody/visitation issue by chance? Was she ever left with a “ good uncle” or neighbor? Unfortunately you have to think of that. Hopefully that’s not it. Good luck.

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Defiance was the only thing I spanked my kids for. Longer time outs. Once they calmed down in time out they did chores. If they refused we started over. It’s hard but you have to break that defiance. Sometimes I cried more than they did. Respect has to be taught. They need it to make friends, learn in school etc.
Children need rules and guidance to grow up mentally ready to face challenges. Some kids may need a spanking if nothing else is working. At 6 years old one day my twins refused to pick up their toys off the living room floor. I set the timer for 5 minutes and told them anything on the floor was going to the garbage. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but I bagged up their toys and threw them in the garbage. They cried for days about the toys but I never had to tell them twice ever again. If they sassed me or told me no, they got hotsauce on their tongue.

Put those toys in a box and tape it up and throw it away. Do not buy more. Or just put them away and she can earn them back. Stay strong.

Take all her toys away untill she behaves ignore her when she’s having a tantrum and shouts at you she doing it to get your attention, no sweet treats to, my little boy use to be good as gold now he is 3 going on 13

My daughter wouldn’t listen from age 2 to 13, when in that mood she wouldn’t care about anything, or apologise just rude. although only at home! I went on every parenting course I could. All tips ideas worked amazing with My son, but you could reason with him, he listened. It’s so frustrating… The key is consistency, don’t give in to demands , ignore bad behaviour if you can ,this is where I struggled! Praise good, catch good. Even though I thought she wasn’t listening she was, she has a great understanding of people. She wanted to control things at home, she thought she should be in charge. So when 13 and got more control over her destiny she calmed down. She is 19 now and she is funny, caring and loving. It could have been a hormone thing . You will never know how they will turn out and although I went through 10 years of hell with her indoors at home, I made the most of the good times , never stopped showing her I loved her and woke up everyday with the mantra I will deal with this better today!! I actually had a list of ways to phrases the problems inside my wardrobe door and tried to forget the day before and start again! They must learn that they can not talk to you rudely, but it’s a balance of not getting rude and disrespectful back. Don’t back track on punishments.it’s so hard and you will make mistakes but be honest admit and apologise for mistakes made. My daughter wasn’t interested in toys , tv or anything her pleasure, her entertainment at home was to wind me up, so no taking of toys away helped but it made me feel like I was doing something. We spent most the time out of the house as she was a pleasure to be with then. So that is when I realised that had to be the punishment which made my life even more hellish. For example, if she screamed at me , I would try and solve the issues with her, if she got rude i would warn her that she wouldn’t be going on a playdate/nanny/friends/parties/outings, as I couldn’t trust her to speak to them respectfully when she was being so rude and disrespectful to me.(Even though she was never rude to anyone else other than me, husband and son) It was hard and made my life harder at the time but had the greatest impact. When good , I would phone my mum and say how she has been respectful to everyone in the house she would be taken out with my mum/friends. She would act as if she didn’t care or get really angry but she did care really. be a parent, be loving be consistent is my advice.

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As hard as it is ignore the negative and pay attention to the positive. Its the age. She doesnt have the brain development to recognize her feelings and to express them in ways that is not screaming hitting throwing things etc. Around this age they start to gain better control but you have to teach them by giving them words for their feelings etc. Remember its the behavior you want to modify not the feelings. I advice looking up social and emotional development of a 5 year old. It would be helpful. And age appropriate consequences.

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A slap is what she needs and a good telling off! She’s at that age where she’ll test you and try to push you over.

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5 years old is not too young to understand that screaming, being rude or physical can not and will not be tolerated. Do NOT cater to her tantrums. Tell her you are willing to listen as long as she uses her words in a calm voice. Reward good behavior. IGNORE bad behavior. Put her in time out and just act like you don’t hear her when she screams. When she moderates her tone respond. Make a chart give big stars for the actions you want to see with a special reward once she earns 5 (or 10 at most). As long as you continue to respond to bad behavior you are setting her up for failure in her adult life.

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Reframe the question: How can I better connect with my 5 year old?

No one in life can get anyone else to do anything else. All we can do is work in our own actions. I know my relationships are better when I focus on connection instead of control.

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My daughter, who’s now 15, had only a few episodes growing up. When they happened, I would go through about 10 different things that I thought might be bothering her… It wasn’t until her resent frustration, at the age of 15, I went through all the questions that could possibly be bothering her, nothing!! Until I said, was it something I did?or said? She finally said YES! I was taken back. What did I say that upset her so much? She thought, by me saying…what your wearing can be considered “RISKY”, she took it as I was calling her a whore :flushed:. The words we use as parents, are not understood correctly with our children. Needless to say, I’m now very cautious about the words I use. Lesson learned! This may not have anything to do with what your going through, but children start becoming their own little individual people, and their comprehension of things can be interpreted completely different. These are trying times, and everyone, including our children are having difficulty finding a place. Good luck. And God be with you and your family :heart:

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I do not believe in beating a child, but a swat on a the butt made their ears work so much better! I raised some very good boys and they did not hate me!

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Has there been changes recently? New day care? New friends? New people ? Sometimes they don’t know how to explain what they feel. My daughter did the same things. I thought I would be forever punishing her. She would tell me she hated me, toys, anything. Lord I prayed daily! I told myself I can’t be her best friend I am her parent to teach her help her when she’s older I can be her friend. Today we have the best relationship. She’s the maid of honor for my wedding.

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Spank that ass.
You can attend to other issues mentioned here (filling the emotional bucket, figuring out feelings and any changes in her life) later…but when she screams at you, spank her ass.
We have to teach our kids early that even when things aren’t going their way, they are still required to act at a certain standard and if you don’t enforce that now, jail will enforce that in her future. Screaming at your parents is out of the question nomatter how you’re feeling.

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Ignore n throw away everything n don’t replace or give it away with her seeing you do it…n don’t don’t don’t give in … your the parent not her…thats my advice but only you can take control… I’ve taken my kids and paid to be at a water park n left within 30 min sent them straight to bed…lol never did they do that again to me…believe me it hurt that I spent money that had just to leave with in minutes but too bad not go na reward bad behavior… but that’s just me

You just got to stick to your punishment

Good luck
N remember it takes a while to change not gonna happen in one day

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Whenever my child acts up it’s usually my fault for not making sure she got her nap which contributed to her emotional release at the end of the day. Even too much screen time can make kids excessively moody. Maybe she went to bed too late and woke up too early? Does she get a good night sleep? I would have her go to her room, scream whatever she needs to scream out. And then go back in and talk to her once she’s calmed down to try to see what’s wrong. Some of us women just need a good cry. Or maybe she just needs to be a little more active during the day like playing sports or playing with friends?

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We noticed with my nephew if you give him sugar he is completely out of control. And it doesnt matter how much. No more sweets.

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I have a 5 year old daughter! I tell her fine let’s go to the store and she can sell me and she can get a new mommy and I’ll be someone else’s mommy lol. I also do a rewards system like if she has a good week on Friday we can walk to the store and she can pick a small toy or something she wants. Sometimes she just needs a hug.

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I would start by filling her emotional buckets. Kids need time and attention and when they don’t get those things they act out. They also need to feel powerful which is a big one. I would research kids emotional buckets especially the power bucket and ways to fill it.

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DO NOT argue with a five year old… if she hates her toys, then she doesn’t get any! Reward positive behavior only… kids are fast learners

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My step daughter was like this for a while. She was older, but she also went through a pretty bad year and a lot of changes that made her behavior ten times worse than it was initially. The only thing that worked for us when she had an “episode” was ignoring her. We had to pretend she wasn’t there or she would get worse. The more yelling and arguing we did, the worse she got. She would refuse to go to her room. Refuse to do school work, refuse to go to school. It didn’t matter if you picked her up and carried her, yelled at her, talked to her, whatever, she would fight you for hours with every bit of energy she had. It was horrendous. She now sees two different therapists and is on medication for anxiety. She has made a complete turnaround and is such a happier person.

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My son’s honestly the same way…I did take note that his eating habits are awful. I can’t force him to eat what he doesn’t want too. But he is given candy on a regular basis which doesn’t help. When that was removed from his diet,specifically anything with certain dyes in it,his attitude did change dramatically.

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Honestly I have 3 daughters, age 3 and 5 were the hardest. At 5 it was sass center, emotionally overload and they knew everything. It was a phase. Try to remember she’s 5 and she’s learning how she’s changing from a baby to a big girl and that can be challenging. We as adults tend to expect kids to handle situations that we as adults don’t always handle well .:heart:

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My son screamed directly in my face and I straight popped him on the mouth, he never did it again. My advice for the toys would be to take them all away and when she wants a new toy give her one of her toys she already owns.

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Sounds to me like she is trying to deal with some feeling she doesn’t know how to process. Maybe try asking her what’s wrong.

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I might get chastised for this but it helped for my son. I packed up all his toys and things in totes. Took away his iPad and everything. The only thing left in his room was his clothes, bed pillow and blankets. Once he realized I was no longer playing around and disrespect would not be tolerated, he was able to start earning his things back. He could pick items he wanted to earn back and we would choose different acts of kindness or chores or exercises (whatever works for you) to complete in order to earn them back. He was in school so he would even set goals to complete at school in order to earn items back at home. Whatever you choose to do, just stay consistent and reassuring them that you’ll get through it together.

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Consequences for their actions. Teach them now before they’re a teenager. I never spanked any of my 3 kids and I can honestly say my kids are all very respectful to me and others.

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Token economy. If your daughter is a child who enjoys rewards for positive behavior, even small and low cost items such as earning stickers for “showing kindness” will be huge for both of you. Establish an amount she must earn and in turn that will earn her “mommy time” or something else of value to her. Stay firm also in that you are in charge, not her, and that behavior will not be tolerated. I wish you well.

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Has something changed in her environment… a separation, divorce, new people in her life. Sometimes children act out when they can’t express what the true nature is. I would be very observant to see if something or someone is bothering her.

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If it was a sudden change I’d be worried about WHY. Take her to a therapist. She could of been abused, just a thought.

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Don’t engage. The more you respond/react, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s not easy when a five year old is talking to you a certain way but I can’t tell you how many times I have heard adults arguing with children. It amazes me.
My son is 5 and has his moments. I tell him that I can’t understand him when he talks to me the way he is and he is more than welcome to say it a different way. Until he does, I pretend I don’t hear.
He knows I am not above spanking but haven’t had to…yet.
Different kids will respond differently but after two boys, I’ve RARELY had to actually spank. I just refuse to engage in arguing and disrespect. They know it.

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How awful. My child is 7, soon to be 8, and has not once ever screamed at me, had a temper tantrum or acted in any sort of way to have me concerned. She really is a little sweet angel. Kids typically respond to their environment, your daughter sounds like one unhappy child. What is she exposed to, what does she see, watch, etc? Parents sometimes are oblivious to how they parent. It could also be a response to chemicals (think food, products, vaccines) that are messing with her mental health. Hopefully you’ll get her the help she needs.

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I had the same issue not the screaming part but bad attitude and answers for everything so brought a reward chart put on it things she needed to do and change now she’s to excited to tick of at night time to be a little shit remember they have also been in lockdown it affects them to

These comments like Emotional buckets and letting kids feel empowered :joy::rofl:
What happened to I’m the parent and your the child this is what is expected of you and you will act like you got some dang sense period or I’m going to show you how to get some real damn quick and the only
Person empowered in this house is mom and dad!

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Whoop her butt!! Take everything away! Give her some crayons and a coloring book! Man really??!!

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Take the toys away all of them let her sit in her room with nothing to play with. Let her earn them back by her changing her mind. If you go out and buy her new toys she will win. When you take them away act like you’re throwing them away. If my kid yells at me they’re going to get their butt whipped. I’m sure people will not like what I’m saying but I’m not going to raise a spoiled brat.

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My daughter threw a couple
Tantrums I threw the same tantrums back . I mirrored everything she was doing an d she gave up long enough for me to talk to her about what was going on. If it was some thing very small in nature I’d let her know there’s bigger things out there to worry about and if she was having a tantrum about toys I told her they would be donated to the next lucky kid. She has since stopped those tantrums

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Try giving her a hug instead of reprimanding her. I find that to work when you cuddle and speak to them in a more loving tone. Good luck!

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Sit her on her bed everytime she yells. If she gets up, put her back. Consistently everytime. Tell her she is not allowed to yell. And make her apologize after her 5 minutes are up.

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They are still trying to navigate control of their emotions it doesn’t help to isolate them with time outs and taking away toys is not a discipline related to the misbehaviour. Id recommend u read the no drama discipline book. U can find it online or on audible.

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Has she been evaluated for possible mild autism? The meltdowns can be overwhelming.

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I would honestly take more time to hug her. Something is bothering her.

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Try a time in instead of a time out (show affection instead of rejection ) :woman_shrugging:

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She would be in her room with just the bed …since she hates all her toys take them away she doesn’t need them and I wouldn’t buy he anything not even a piece of gum…she can cry in her room but don’t damage anything and if she does spank her ass

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Give her a twack on the bum within reason of course & remind her your the adult & she’s your child. Good luck

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Sometimes u just gotta give em a smack on the ass is dosnt have to be hard either. But it very well could be something much more then her just being a little brat

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When you take something a.way do not give it back show her who the boss is dont give in

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A visit to the pediatrician to rule out a medical condition.

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Jesus Christ. God forbid a small child have big emotions and trouble handling them. :unamused:

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You are in charge. She can be grounded. After school activities can be cut. If she won’t respond to that then it would be best to see a child psychologist

I learned alot from watching the nanny… also, when they throw a fight walk away an go into another room.looknat them an say when your done we will talk

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I’d look at the environment and who shes left with baby sitters and school. Kids usually act out if something has changed or if they are being bullied or hurt.

Take all her toys and put in garbage can. Then put by curb. Later go put in garage. Wait til she appreciates what she has.

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Take everything away besides her bed see how much she likes her stuff after that I had to do that with my son when he got out if hand he changed his attitude quick when he realized if he kept it up he would just have nothing to play with

Must be the age thing. I have seen many my friends around me who had kids pass 5 pretty much went through the same damn thing and my girl is going to be 5 which I can she is start changing.

What I do is if she behaves bad I usually just keep quiet, I first would try hard to control my emotion first when watching her with no emotion and let her roar. Until she had enough I would say we will talk about it when you finish and calm down because I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Talk to me so I can help.

It usually works just a take a bit times. Saying that I do lost my shit and yell sometimes :joy::joy: I ain’t God lol!

Take absolutely no notice of her demands. She is reliant on you x

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This was my child then I took away the tablet. Crazy how crazy that thing makes her.

My 6 yr old girl is kinda going the same way. However, it gets worse when it’s close to my time of the month. She seems to pick up on it. Anyone else’s kid do this?

My 4.5 yo step son does this at school but doesn’t at home. It’s awful and is on thin ice at his 3rd school/daycare.

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Dont just take away random toys, that never works, you have to pin point the 1 thing that she loves the most aka. tv time, iPad, fav dvd, fav board game, fav doll/ teddy. You have to confiscate the 1 thing that she loves the most or the punishment will not work, and it wont have any impact on her. I had the same issue with my son, he never listened and was defiant AF, then he got a iPad for his birthday, then he got angry and threw a remote at the tv and broke it, he lost all his privileges to play his tablet for 3 months and he was not allowed to pick any shows to watch on tv either, he had to watch whatever his brother was watching. Nowadays whenever he gets frustrated at the tv he thinks twice about throwing ANYTHING at the tv, I literally see him considering the consequences of doing it and every time he chooses against throwing something at the tv.

This is called the Wheel of Consequences (said in dramatic voice for effect). Write in your own consequences. The kid spins it when they choose not to listen. It’s up to her and the wheel, not you. My 5 year old agrees that it has helped her listen.

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Use few words and stay consistent. She’s testing, especially when she starts over talking you.

Set a routine set reasonable daily rules and punishments for breaking those rules and be consistent and follow through

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Take EVERYTHING away, and no new toys. Keep up the time-outs, and exclude her from family events. Ignore her when she yells.

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