How can I get my 5 year old to listen?

Try explaining whatever she’s screaming about and calmly tell her that you don’t know what to do anymore and that maybe she should just do what she likes that your hurt and tired of fighting and then ignore her until she apologises. X

It’s just her age, I hate to say but it will only get worse, find a hobby like get a potholder maker with loops at Walmart. Or let her help you bake cookies or something.

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She hasn’t had a new sibling or a big change has she? Moving, divorce etc?

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Repeat yourself. Say it in a different way. Ask if you can help. Explain why it’s important. Walk away. Come back. Try again.

When she acts out, ignore her… when my daughter was like that id put her in the room and tell her she could come out once shes calmed down and ready to apologise and talk, it worked for us. Biggest advice would be not to give in and to ignore that kind of behaviour. Soon enough she will realise it gets her nowhere and she wont bother.

I took a parenting course…Circle of Security …it is amazing …cops even use some of their methods .
And i raised kids 30 odd years ago …and now since 2013 my grandson.that class helped me , help him , manage his emotions . It is truley frightening for the child when they lose control and we stand by helplessly i have learned … this class made me realize the mistakes i made with my own kids when i could not help them better with their tantrums as time outs and control was big 30 years ago …now its more about emotional attachement and safety and kindness .

Oh this is the stage i have one of these but a boy lol
Take every single toy everything gather in garbage bags and put them away honesltly leave a dresser clothes and bed in the bedroom, tell her youll get stuff back once you behave it will work

Be consistent with actions have consequences and let the punishment fit the crime and be quick forgive.

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It is just an stage, ignore her. She will eventually stop.

Every kid is different, I have four kids all with wildly different personalities that I’ve had to find ways to discipline and they all seem to go through a temper tantrum stage when they are in their later toddler years. Here is what I did for each of them:

Kid 1: this kid liked to make messes and would lie about making them, she once colored with sharpie all down my hallway and all over her bedroom. She finally stopped after I had her wipe down the walls for a good twenty minutes with a wet towel. She learned quickly that it was hard work to clean up sharpie, in fact it was impossible, she didn’t do it anymore. I have her do extra chores when she acts out now though she doesn’t act out much anymore.

Kid 2: went through a phase where he would get livid at the drop of a hat when he was tired or hungry and his siblings liked to push buttons, I wouldn’t give him time outs because they spun him up more, I started giving him “breaks” from the situation. I wouldn’t tell him he wasn’t in trouble I would just have him go in his room, I would tell him he wasn’t being punished we were just taking a break so he could calm down and once he calmed down enough to talk to me we would deal with the situation.

Kid 3: he can be a bit of a hot head and gets into fights with his brothers over dumb things, he also doesn’t listen all the time when you want him to do something. He responds well to having tv or video game privileges taken away. If he thinks it’s unfair as his siblings watch movies or play video games I give him the option to do chores to earn it back. Normally it’s everyday chores, sometimes I have him do something nice for a sibling like make their bed.

Kid 4: normally responds well with reasoning. I’ll give him a warning and explain why what he is doing isn’t okay and he normally shapes up. Sometimes I give him timeouts if he’s not behaving.

Nothing works
Just have to ride it out…they do grow out of it x

Back hand her…lol…
Honestly, change the wifi, take her toys away, box them up & take to a relatives or friends house & don’t give in
Its gonna suck but you gotta stay strong

Have you ever thought about slapping her ass 3 or 4 times that worked for my kids when the were growing up

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Turn her over your knee and spAt her but couple times l think she might change her mind.

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Spank her ass!! This it why the jails are already overpopulated. I can’t imagine what it will be like in 10+ years!!!

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Sounds like you are a great mom. Keep going and pray!!

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A good spanking. Spare the rod you spoil the child. One good spank and she wont do it again.

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A whoopin or two. A few days with no toys and no tv. Oh and make her help you do the housework to earn her toys back.

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Yes. Be a mom and pop her butt

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Be consistent. When she starts throwing a tantrum sit her in her time out spot for her age(5 minutes) but she has to be quiet and remain sitting or every time she moves or screams the time restarts. Once she’s calm explain to her why her behavior is unacceptable and come up with ideas with her on how next time she can do better. Let her have some say as she is trying to push boundaries but needs to be able to form choices by herself as well. My father in law did dying cockroaches with my husband and its more of a mental and physical punishment that not only wears them out but mentally messes with them better than an ass whooping could. They have to lay on their backs with their legs and arms straight in the air and keep them moving for X amount of time. Worked like a charm for him and his siblings. If she is unappreciative of toys have her box them all up with you and yall can donate them to kids who are in need and actually deserving of toys. Until her behavior corrects where she isn’t demanding new toys she doesn’t get any.

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Watch Supernanny! She has some good tips

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Spare the rod you spoil the child… smh that’s getting out of hand

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I wish I had advice for this. My girl was so calm until around 9 when she grew horns :woman_shrugging::joy:

Lock her in her room til she decides too behave… She only comes out too eat and too pee and etc etc. No playing outside… No friends… Let her come out for a cpl hrs during the day too play etc and as soon as she starts the attitude put her right back in her room… If you do this everyday for a week or so i guarantee you she will learn that your not going too put up with it anymore… She just needs too understand that your the Mom and shes your child… She’ll learn too respect you as her Mom and know that she cant walk all over you anymore!! Its just enough for her too realize your serious thats all… If your curious and want too hear and give a few other things a try you should watch the show “SuperNanny” and it will be life changing!! I promise!!

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5 year old? Or 15? :flushed:

She’s seeking for your attention…

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HIRE A PART TIME NANNY OR GRANNY so you can get away some times and do grown up stuff like a glass of wine or shopping …

Scream at me, dish soap in mouth for you.

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Many on here that’ parent’ term used loosely. Hitting a child for having big emotions is never going to solve anything.
Reconnect, give her feelings names, allow her to express herself but in a controlled respectful manner, teach her about her emotions, allow her to grow and trust you.

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Corner till they stop you cant give in

Following…
having similar issues with my 4 yr old daughter

Too bad snowflakes would have you arrested for spanking a child these days.

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Paddle her little behind.

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Need my dad to take care of her for a week, my brother, sister, or I never acted like that. Sounds to me like the kid is the boss in the house. What is this lady going to do with her when she is a teenager. Spare the rod spoil the child Discipline is necessary for good upbringing.

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I have a 3 year old step daughter and she has been having a whole additude change lately as well, she likes telling me she doesn’t have to do things when I tell her to do something shes been having these fits where when she gets mad she throws her self on the floor and kicks at me when I try to get her up shes also been using the your not my mom card at 3 years old! It’s extremely irritating although shes little and doesn’t fully comprehend I try and sit down and explain to her that indeed I’m not her mom but she still has to listen to me and I try to give her the benefit of the doubt because her real mom doesn’t like me and has said things in front of me about how she doesn’t have to listen to me so It’s obviously confusing her.

scream at me your mouth would be bloody sound like you need a cut ass

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Maybe you should find out who has been talking to her.

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That screaming back is a definite ass Whooping!!

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I don’t feel so alone anymore.

My 3 year old is the same he even locks himself in the bathroom when he gets upset or mad

5 yrs old. You might have missed your opportunity. The problem didn’t just start.:thinking::thinking::thinking:

Wait till she’s a teenager----lol

Ass whooping…una chinga en las nalgas…

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Maybe some one on one activity’s

Be a parent. Remove everything from her room except her bed. ,take the door off her room, give her hpjust enough clothes for 3 days. Feed her ,don’t chit chat. Make her earn her things back with good behavior .
Ask her what’s wrong. ? Shared custody?
She might need sometime to learn acceptable behavior.
Stay strong, and be a good parent. Not a friend.that comes with age.

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Your hand comes in handy

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When they back talk you put a little soap :soap: in their mouth

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This book changed my life. I would recommend giving it a try. It teaches skills to parents to help them understand their kids better and respond better.

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I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m going to ask a personal question. Has there been anyone around that could possibly have started abusing her in a sexual way? Maybe her actions are a way of trying to get you to figure it out. I had a family member do this. She did a complete flip in additude and it was a cry for help. She was 7.

Yell back at her and give her a whooping! Idk why people act scared of their children :flushed: get it under control, NOW.

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When you are both calm and just happy together. Morning in my house, tell her, "you know when you get upset and yell at me it makes me sad. If you get upset today, will you please take a deep breath (or whatever calming thing you want to do) and talk to me. If you yell at me today I won’t be able to hear you . I love spending time with you but I don’t want to be yelled at. " And stick to it. Oh and when tension gets high, whisper. They cant hear you arguing with them so they have to be quiet in order to hear you so they can argue. Works with my 9 year old but it’s hard to remember.

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Consistency, patience. Training a child to behave better does not happen overnight or even in a week. Never resort to violence, that will only make it worse now or in the long run.

Also, therapy is an option if it becomes overwhelming for you to handle. A child psychologist may be able to pinpoint what the issue is.
Sometimes a child’s erratic behavior has an underlying cause that some parents cannot figure out, there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.

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put her in her room and bore her to death. Literally nothing in there. Only allowed out for food, water and bathroom. eventually she will get the hint.

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My son is 2…I do 2 min time outs when he doesn’t listen after being told several times. He always does what he is told after time out, if it gets that far. I always ask him, will you clean up your toys if I let you up? He says yes and does it. 1 min for each year of age is a good rule of thumb

Time for a whoopin :woman_shrugging:t5: mine only screamed at me once. Never again. Tantrum happened once. Never again. She feels like she runs the house and tbh, you probably does. Sometimes, us as mothers let our kids do whatever we want and expect them to listen when we have given them no reason to! Neither of my kids give a damn about a time out or getting a toy taken.

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Hurry and buy the books Love and logic. Get started. It will work guaranteed!! Your daughter wants more control but doesn’t have the vocabulary and control of her feelings. Invest in the books video or trainings. So vital to her success and yours

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Some children like to push your buttons l raised 2 sons a grandson and granddaughter now I watch my great grandson
It’s a different generation children are a lot smarter when he throws a temper tantrum I just walk away a say when your done I want a hug it seems to work it seems she is lashing out for attention sometimes just putting her in her room with no toys everything out and tell her when she feels she needs a hug she can come out as a older woman I feel to love them

Spank that ass :woman_shrugging: not beat your child. If more children got an ass spanking when needed we wouldn’t have kids who turn into teenagers choking their parents and cussing them out. I believe a healthy level of fear is worthy :woman_shrugging: and to follow that up, I have twin 6 year olds who are very well mannered, respectful, and full of love and happiness.

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Slap the shit out of her

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Jody Sosa. Check this out.

One good smack works wonders for some kids.
This is real life. There is no time out in real life. You act like that and someone eventually will smack her and THAT is what we want to avoid. ( for when she is older)
And try to figure out what changed. Something triggered this behavior. ( possibly her friends) good luck!!

A good smack never hurt anyone

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Good old fashioned spanking

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Risk and reward works. When she yells don’t ever raise your voice back, speak in calm tones and then leave the room and tell her you will talk when she can be civil. She isn’t good at regulating her emotions yet and she needs your guidance. She is old enough to know how to push your buttons for sure. I have three kids, it IS intentional. They may not fully understand WHY they are acting out, but they DO understand they are being hurtful. It’s also okay to tell her that her yelling and being ugly is hurtful. Use words she can understand. It’s a tough age. Try not to react, even if you have to go for a walk around the block to calm down. Hugs momma, you will get through it. :slight_smile:

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I have a 4 year old daughter who did this. One day I just got up and said calmly “if you don’t like your toys then you don’t need them”. I proceeded to take everything out of her room and put it in a big pile that she had to walk past every time she left or entered her room. When she was downstairs with me she could sit on the couch, walk around the house or pout in timeout. I told her she needed to earn her toys back (2 at a time) by doing nice things. Help mommy sweep, say please and thank you, have a good report from your teacher (she was both being nice at school) etc… Once this system was put in place and she understood sitting on the couch for an hour is REALLLY FREAKING BORNING her attitude shaped up in a day. Noe she looks forward to doing good things to earn her toys back. The biggest thing with her is out of sight out of mind… so piling the toys, though it broke my heart, where she had to see them was the kick in the pants she needed. I hope this helps

At 5, she understands and she is attempting to manipulate you. Stand firm when you take away her toys, box them up. She screams, tell her to do that somewhere else or not at all. Talk to her. Make her understand that you don’t want to fight with her but you Won’t put up with… and tell her how to earn her privileges back

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It’s natural for children at this age to test limits and boundaries, it’s just part of their development. However setting developmentally appropriate boundaries is also important, as being disrespectful like telling at you shouldn’t be accepted. But also important that you are calm during these interactions and talk through her feelings. If you name it you tame it. Timeouts and taking things away is a temporary fix to problems, so try find a way to connect with her and discuss natural consequences to that kind of behavior.

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Good luck! I have 1 grandchild out of a dozen or so who started this about the same age. Nothing worked with her. It was so bad her mom whipped her butt, sadly it did no good. Today she is 13 and still pulls this crap on her mom. No one would believe her parents that she did this stuff because she was always so good around other people. Until she did not know her Dr could hear her when she was giving her mom crap. I had to hold her down when she was young because she was so out of control. I rarely see her anymore, my choice, not theirs because I want to coldcock her, and I won’t let myself do it, even if she is as big as me. LOL! I wish you the best and recommend getting professional help immediately!

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Bag up the toys talk calmly and I did pop both my daughters in their face once around that age… it shocked them and rarely did it happen again… now they teenagers with respect to me

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I know someone struggling with the same thing , only its not just a phase as some would say , and if not handled it gets worse .
If taking away toys or speaking nicely doesn’t work , it’s time to go old school mommy…
I never shouted the way kids do today , because I grew up with spanking when needed . Even if its last resort… use it.

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No fun cancel things until she acts right and screaming at you don’t fly , only listen only when she speaks nicely. Good luck she yours

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Try a reward chart. Our natural response is to punish and take away, but that doesn’t always work. Children respond really well to positive rewards for good behavior.

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Watch Super Nanny. She has amazing tips, tricks and parenting things to help with everything you’re struggling with.

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Quick talking to her and. Sooner or later she will wonder keep an eye on her reaction and put all toys back no more new. Ones. Talk for breakfast. Lunch dinner. It will work.

Stick to your guns pack up those toys put them away for now don’t sit and try to reason with a 5yr old. It will be hard but ignore the behavior when she doesn’t win things calm down.

Spank that ass lol I tried so hard with my daughter she only understands spanking I feel like a bad mom all the time

Shes 5. It’s just a phase

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Have u tried busting her ass ? Y’all scared to whoop ur children now days​:rofl::joy:

Time to spank that tooshie.

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Kayla McKennitt … and so it begins lol.

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My grandson is five and was getting like that, he would start screaming and throwing a fit so we started telling him, “ok stop, take two deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth” he does then we all of he feels better then take about the issue. It really seems to work for him.

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Id whoop my kids ass if he acted like that.

But I did whoop my kids ass and hes always been good. Always got compliments and asked how i got my kid to behave everytime a mom with a screaming child seen my.son behaving

Yea, beat her ass, cold day in hell before a 5 yr old screams in my face…

Well, if you are not going to adjust her attitude, then you are going to have to do battle. Every single time, you have to win. So, ignore tantrums, punish every single infraction every time with time outs or with taking away toys. ANYTIME she screams, secure her and then ignore her totally. Aything she demands she does not get, tell her that. Anything she asks twice about, is an automatic no. Anything she destroys will not be replaced and if i belongs to someone else, she has to work it off for them. She is testing your boundaries and authority over her. ALL KIDS DO THIS. If you spank, its a quick fix, its why most parents do spank for flat out defiance. However, you can do it the hard way, its just exhausting and takes longer. your choice.

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if a child has a severe or drastic personality change seemingly overnight something else is going on and you need to sit her down and figure it out

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She’s 5. She’s testing her boundaries. Talk to her. I always explained to my kids where their mistake was, then explained how the real world reacts to that behavior. After I think they understand, the next time it happens I place them in time out amd just ignore them until they apologize. If they get out, I pick them up and place the…back in time out only saying that I’m waiting for an apology. No more no less.

You need to spank that little BRAT

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Well done Marie, all that hard work paid off in the end. You have a lovely daughter. xx

I smacked my sons hands once really good and he stopped doing that. He knows who’s boss here and it isn’t him. Demanding new toys, I’d take an old toy and shoot it out on her, so she knows you ain’t playing around. And if she wants to keep up with the attitude make her time outs longer. Start taking away toys, start taking away privilages. Like watching tv or playing on an iPad. Or you can try talking to her and asking her why she is behaving like this. Let her know that it doesn’t make you happy, that it makes you sad when she acts like this. You also have to be consistent with her punishments and follow through with them or she will walk all over you and think she can get away with what she wants. Put your foot down mama.

A pop on the butt with a wooden spoon every time she yells or has a attitude will soon solve 90% of this problem. Spend quality time with her one on one. The sassy has to stop will get a lot worse.

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It never ends!! My boys are 13 and gonna be 12 and they have had their attitude since the first day they each started school and have screamed at me since then as well!!
Unless you wanna deal with cps you HAVE GOT TO LET THEM DO AS THEY PLEASE. kids are allowed to do as they want when they want and however they want and us as parents have to suck it up and deal with having rude disrespectful asshole kids bc the state says so… Trust me with saying this bc I dealt with cps for 3fucking yrs bc I did slap my kids asses and put them in time out and took stuff away from them and then was told that everything I did to then was child abuse and that my kids are in fact allowed to walk all over me and not have to fucking listen to a word I say. And i am to reward them for their bad behavior…

Only give punishment you can and will stick to then do it . Remember 3 minutes in time out that you stick to is better then giving more and not sticking to it . I disciple from a mind set of I am raising my child not angry at them . Sounds like she needs a place to be angry so make her a place where she can be angry but you dont have to be affected by it . I told my nephew he could be mad but not in my living room so he would take himself to the angry bedroom well once in there he had no audience so its didn’t last long and he would come out and get it together or go back and try again.

We do Nose and toes at my house! That seems to works! :woman_shrugging:t3: and if that doesn’t they get spankings!

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She does care about her toys. She’s only trying to act like she doesn’t. I’ve seen the behavior that she’s showing with many children and you can make a change in her. There are usually more dynamics going on and she creates behavior problems to demand attention from you and to get a reaction. You can message me on my page and I can explain more for you.

Try the 123 magic. You can by it on Amazon. If you stick to it it works pretty well.

I’m available for hookup

Speak softly so she can listen more intently, shes just experiencing growing pains, taking what controll she is allowed, learning to make some of her own decisions and watching every reaction you give. Growth and support from you is wonderful, she just needs to know what is acceptable behaviors and expectations in the moment.

Two fingers to the mouth, just tap them. If that doesn’t work instill the fear of God in that brat. Be the authority quit letting these brats get away with BS like this.

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