In need of advice. I have an almost six-year-old daughter who, for the last few months, will not listen to anything I tell her, so I feel like I’m constantly yelling at her… I don’t want our relationship to be just her always getting yelled at because she won’t listen. What can I do to get her to listen better? Is this a normal thing they go through at this age!? What do you guys do when your kids don’t listen. I hate feeling like a horrible parent because all I’m doing is yelling at her
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Set boundaries. Start putting her in time out until she feels she’s ready to listening to you. Start taking her favorite toys away until she starts to listen let her earn them back… #momof7
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My 6 year old son just started this too… Maybe it was the change because he was in preschool before covid but he is constantly testing boundaries. I cry so much I miss my little guy. This new guy gets mad if I say no or it’s dinner time or bed he’s just mean about it. All of it. If I have errands… I’m interrupting his normal life. Weather he’s color or playing trucks he gets pissed. He will literally run at me for taking his toys… And try to snatch it back. It’s so crazy
I wish I had an answer too mama because I hate this period. 
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In the same boat with my 6 year old son I wish I had advise but I’m fallowing
In the same situation with my 5 year old daughter. I think it has to do With her being home now with me 24/7, and testing to see what she will get away with.
She doesn’t do it with her dad, only me.
I just had a baby Friday so I’m hoping that will help her adjust to behaving since she’s now a big sister.
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Give reason for asking her things.
Put the pizza away so we don’t get ants again. You’re making her feel important and valued. Instead of do this bc I said so.
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Going through the same thing with my almost 6 year old daughter. I love her so much but oh does make me want to pull my hair out. I have tried everything timeouts, hot sauce, taking toys away and more and its just not working. Talking to her doesn’t work either it just goes right over her head.
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My boys are 11 an 13 an still dont listen so good luck with that
I yell scream swear take toys away take electronics away. I have asked calmly an I have also tried bribing them with things an it dont make a bit of difference. Me yelling an screaming an swearing all day everyday is what my kids will remember!! The way I see it is if that isnt what they want to remember then they better grow the fuck up and start listening then plain an simple
Going through the exact same thing with my 7 year old. It’s so hard. I said the same thing. I don’t want to have a relationship where I’m always yelling at him.
My 6 year old does this too. I will ask her nicely 3 times to do what I ask and when she doesnt I say ok since you arent going to do what I ask you to then I will take things away from you. She will throw fits but I talk calmly to her and let her cry it out till shes done. Its frustrating and difficult but it works for us so far. Good luck!
Whisper it in her ear…yes, it is more effort and trouble but if it’s effective then it would be worth it. Sit on the floor…get down to her level. Reward the listening…I had gkids hollering in the car and I quietly said if anyone can hear this I will give them $5.00. No one could hear me and I told them later what they missed. They were quieter in the car later and I said "If anyone can hear this I will give you $2.00) and I had to pay out (it was worth it).
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Sometimes we are just blessed with strong willed children, be consistent but compassionate. Be firm but loving and definitely try to get down to eye level when you try to talk to her. Understand that she is human, and has trouble controlling her emotions at this age. Hell most adults have trouble controlling their emotions. If you get to a point where you feel like you might yell, just walk into another room until you can collect yourself enough to talk to her calmly. Her energy will feed off of yours, you have to keep the upper hand by keeping your cool, even if you’re still pissed.
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If she is in the middle of TV, a game, or playing take away her activity and get eye level. Repeat what you said. If she doesn’t listen at that time I would have a consequence. She wouldn’t get her toy ect. back until what you asked is done.
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Children crave discipline. Whatever you feel as a parent that might be. But if you don’t discipline then you will have a lot of trouble on your hands when they get older.
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Stop yelling. In a calm voice tell her what you want her to do. If she doesn’t comply then there needs to be a consequence. A time out. A loss of something of value (a favorite toy or something). Stop screaming and yelling. My daughter knew that when I got quiet and spoke very softly she was in trouble. Teach them young that actions have consequences, good and bad. Encourage good behavior by giving a treat or praise. But also let her know that good behavior is expected and isn’t always rewarded because that’s how our society works. We expect you to be a law abiding, good person when you’re grown.
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It’s called selective hearing. I actually had my youngest son’s hearing tested when he was that age. They grow out of it eventually. He now has to deal with his so going through it and he’s an autisic teen. Even worse!
Can she hear you? My daughter when she was younger had fluid in her ears couldn’t hear we when I just talked to her only when I yelled . Which started putting a wall up between us once she got tubes in her ears she could hear at normal level
Just a thought
You’re not being consistent with actions/consequences/punishments. She is not taking you seriously. You should never need to yell if you are being extremely consistent (which I know is time-consuming and hard to do) she would fully understand she gets one warning and you wouldn’t need to yell.
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My six year old has been giving me the business 
but the last month he’s been better. Be consistent, stay calm, and mean what you say.
Make sure you have her attention before you start talking. Make sure she’s looking at you and not fiddling with toys and things. Ask her do you understand? If she says yes ma’am but it seems like she’s just saying it, make her repeat what you said. If she gets it right give her a smile and thanks for listening. If she doesn’t. Tell her what you said and stress the importance of listening. After you’ve given clear instructions of she doesn’t do what you’ve said there have to be consequences. 6 is old enough to be given simple instructions and then follow them.
I’ve notice when mine isn’t doing very good it’s usually because he has to much pent up energy so we go outside or make an obstacle course in the house, and run it off until he’s wore out.
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When you figure it out let me know. The only time my 13 years old listens is to tell me why I am wrong. I hear it gets better about 24 
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I raised 2 girls as a single parent so I hear you, it is difficult if a child is acting up. Please try to not shout though. The old saying of children following your example not what you tell them is 110% true. You will end up with a child / grown-up who shouts and yells. It clearly isn’t working anyway. So as frustrating as it my be, you will have to try something different and unfortunately it is a trial and error thing. With my one girl I just had to have a sit down and a soft discussion. The other one needed a bit of reverse psychology and LOADS of attention. They are now 25 and 23 respectively and nothing has changed 
. Communication, lots of attention, routine and discipline are key though. Especially if you want to survive the teenage years. All of the best. Children don’t come with manuals so don’t be hard on yourself either xxx
Do not permit this to go on any longer, it only gets more difficult. Go as far as you have to to gain control. Take away everything she values, and return items when she behaves in an appropriate manner. Never yell again. When she doesn’t listen, take privileges and beloved items away. I recommend the Love and Logic system, but any positive behavior reinforcement works.
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It sucks but it’s normal. Sometimes I yell a lot, too (you know, we are just human). But consequences are the best way to go (no screen time, no toys). It will get better and you are doing great, mom! 
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My 9 and 11 year old girls have selective hearing. I hear it doesn’t get better. Seriously though, yelling doesn’t get you anywhere and will cause more harm than good. My kids get things they value, taken away when I have to ask them to do something more than once.
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The biggest thing you need to have is consistency. If you say that she cannot touch the remote then she cannot touch the remote. Don’t say that she can’t touch it Monday Tuesday and Wednesday and then give it on Thursday. You have to stand strong with everything that you say because right now the reason she isn’t listening is because she’s testing limits which usually means that you haven’t been consistent so she keeps trying to see what she can and cannot get away with. If you are consistent at all times then she already knows what she can’t get away with. For now start using punishments that will mean something to her if she’s obsessed with a certain doll and take that certain doll away. Stop play dates, etc whatever means the most to her as a punishment. Basically you need to put your foot down and prove that you are consistent and that you are in charge. Until you are willing to do that then I don’t think much will change. Also when she is done with her punishment make sure that you have conversations about what she did was wrong and why it was wrong and how it impacts others. I hate when people just say “because I said so” I personally feel like it’s better to teach our kids why they are being punished and how it hurts others
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My son is also 6. When my child starts to act out like this, I start to pay attention to the things that have been going on. Have I been busier than usual? Is something going on at school? Etc. If I can’t figure it out, I ask him at bedtime after stories. That’s usually when I get an honest response from him. I don’t ask “why haven’t you been listening?” I ask “is everything okay? Or is something bothering you?” And sure enough, he tells me. Example: last summer he was acting like a hell child. I had no idea what was going on! For 2 weeks it was like having a whole different child. I asked him at bed time and that’s when he told me he was being bullied at day camp. So there was my answer. I tried to talk to the director but was getting nowhere. So i put hin in a different day camp and he didn’t act like had been for the rest of the summer.
I don’t know if this would work with all children. My son and I have always communicated well with each other and he has never been one to hide his feelings. Not all children are the same! I wish you the best of luck.
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my opinion: explain that you (and she) deserve respect and part of that is listening to each other, that my be all it takes, if that doesn’t fix it suspend her from something she loves, tv? electronic device? favorite hobby/toy?, sports?, whatever. don’t return the privilege (cause that’s what all of those are) until she corrects her behavior. good luck 
Read “how to talk so your kids listen”. Be sympathetic “I know you really want to play but first you need to clean and then you can play” if they don’t listen then you should suggest helping them clean “ok I’ll help you, let’s clean up!” (But mostly pretend of clean, let them do it). If that still doesn’t work then you do punishments, “i really don’t want to take away your game, but if you don’t listen and clean then that’s the decision you made”. Then you have to take it away for whatever time and don’t back down. That was their decision not to listen.
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Also I just read the others comments. No one likes to be stopped in the middle of doing something. Have a schedule!! When she is done with the required work she gets play time. Give her $1 every day she does her chores and she can save to go buy something etc. But sounds like this started a long time ago.
We started to ground favorite toys and put them up so the kids could SEE them, but not touch them. It was so much better then putting them in time out. And we did not start the timer until they stopped crying about it
Have you tried reconnecting with her? Work on building a more positive and loving relationship. It’ll help motivate her to want to listen and give her the attention she is asking for.
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First off. Stop yelling. Have her on a schedule so she knows what is expecting of her. Don’t just out the blue have her stop something ‘on command’. Also reward her. Use stickers, candy whatever and don’t be too demanding and have play time. But have a routine she is used to.
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Umm really? Well my mom spoke once and if I didn’t listen she moved and a swat to my ass came. Kids these days are quick learners. Try putting down your phone and do less talking and more action. I bet she will move when she knows you will get up and swat her ass. 
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As much as I hate it we put our kids in the corner if they get really out of hand. We ground them from their electronics too.
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What ever you decide is your course of action, please, please, please stay consistent and don’t threaten with out follow through.
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My five year old was similar. They are people now too. They have their own thought and agendas and sometimes forget to listen. My daughter lives in imaginary world sometimes and it take a time or two saying something to her and if she doesn’t listen I remind her to come back to real life and we have to clean up now and then we can continue our fun imaginary or not in a new area. Consequences and loss of stuff if still continues. But just realizing they are people now and not just babies who go with what we say and do.
I went through the same thing last year with my seven year old he was going threw alot at school and taking it out at me at home yelling does not work but I simply treated him the way he treated me and reminded him this is the way you treat me I will do the same until ypu change your ways and best believe were closer than ever irs definitely a phase but its something has to give to get out of there ways
Get eye level- look her eyes and use your mean strong voice and take authority- remember yu are the mother- take away what ever she loves - don’t let your daughter control you. Think how she will be at 13yrs.
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She testing her boundaries, finding her voice. You’ll go through bouts of this.
Try talking to her and asking what she needs from you.
And tell her what you need from her.
There is so much going on they are going to act out. And sometimes remember you’re her only outlet. She knows you’ll love her regardless.
I tried taking everything away. I did for months at a clip.
He had to take his toys personally to Good Will when he was really bad.
If it’s blatant disrespect/pure meanness definitely a punishment.
They worked for the big things but the constant I had to open up to him about needing his help.
If you see she’s on edge try to get on her level. We expect our kids to just do everything we tell them. That’s not always the case. They a people too.
I have a very open, honest 13 year old who talks to me. He can be a real jerk somedays and I have to stop and ask myself what’s in his head?!
I don’t have a clue. Some days he just wants to disappear from all the craziness and play games. He tunes out everything but he’s happy while doing it. It’s his break from the world. I didn’t know being honest with him would in turn make him as open and honest as he turned out. It worked
When my daughter was that age she started acting out twice. The first time was discipline related. Had to be fair and consistent and ensure she stayed with her routine. She’s 9 now and still she has to have that routine or she seems lost.
The second time she was doing it for my attention. I had been really busy at work and working extra hours. She was acting out because even bad attention was attention to her.
I feel it is normal at this age where instead of just mom they have teachers and other adults who tell them what to do so in becoming a thinking independent person t bgg ey realize they are making decisions. Or maybe they are overwhelmed and can’t listen. I think it’s a time for patience and guidance, reminders to do the right thing.
It’s called discipline. Yelling is not discipline. Give 1 warning and not yelling it, then time out or whatever kind of discipline you do.
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My daughter is almost 6 she is an amazing little girl I speak only once when I really mean it but she also likes to play with me to make me say it twice but other than that I don’t struggle so much she is lovely I’m enjoying her so much as she is getting older I always thought that it will be sad for me to see how fast she grows up but now! It is so awesome to see her develope Infront of my eyes and every single day there is something new…
I love you my daughter…
What works best for me is giving more positive attention then negative attention. When all a kid hears is negative, they tend to stop caring. Hope this helps.
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I used to have my daughter sit with her back against the wall in whatever room I’m in. Those days, she was about 5-6. I’d leave her there just a few minutes or if she calmed herself down, then walk over and talk to her in a calm voice about why I had put her there. It took a freakin’ long time but she listens better now (she’s 7.5 and as sweet as can be). Onto my son (4.5) now! Not looking forward to it! It seems like he’s more of a terror than she was! Good luck momma!
If nothing works, do it to her. I ignored my daughter once (on purpose) so she would know how it feels to have someone not listen to them.
They wise up pretty quickly when they experience that irritation! Good luck 
When my boys ignore me, I ignore them the next time they need something. ( Unless it’s an emergency) it solved that problem with my oldest in about a week. Still working on it with my youngest, but he’s catching on!
I feel the exact same with my girls mine are 10,12,15 .
Since lockdown it’s like they’ve taken over and think they rule us . I must shout everyday and I hate it . I take things off them and send them bed earlier but doesnt always work .
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Ignore her back. If she asks you for something to drink ignore her and keep doing what you’re doing like you didn’t hear her. When she starts to throw a fit tell her how does it feel to be ignored, you do it to me all the time. Don’t ignore me and I won’t ignore you. Repeat when necessary.
Yes its normal. My 7 year old went through it and my 5 year old is going through it now. It will get better. But I know what you mean by not wanting to yell all the time. Sometimes I get down to their level and try to speak calmer. Sometimes it helps sometimes not. Hang in there!
If you have anything that plays music the minute you feel yourself get aggressive toward your child play a song dance with her get her mood change and yours pretty soon she won’t like arguing and neither with you you’ll both be good dancers
Quietly sit beside her and ask quietly what she is watching or doing. Start the conversation that way.
Don’t yell, although tempting, just use a quieter than normal voice tone.
Worked for all 5 kids!
And now grandchildren!
I am guilty of being a yeller too, but I’ve learned over the last 13 years that it doesn’t help. As I’ve gotten better about it, I’ve seen a change in my son. I heard a quote “an escalated parent cannot deescalate a child” and it’s so accurate. They feed off you. Reward the good, over and over again. When you reward her, remind her WHY she’s being rewarded
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From what I hear and am experiencing myself, most kids are having a tough time right now with everything going on. Sometimes just talking to my daughter helps
Or 34 don’t get any better. Sorry I couldn’t bring your sports up. I just kept saying one day I hope your Kiddos do the same to you. And by the way Karma is wounderful…
My sister always said, they are good for 6 months and then try your patience for 6 months and it goes back and forth, I’d have to agree
Time for “table talk”. I did this with my kids when they were younger. Do it when you are both relaxed and no yelling. That accomplishes nothing. Let her talk first and listen.
Is she feeling ok? An change in routine? New person in her life? Covid restrictions getting to her? Trouble with schoolwork? Sometimes kids can’t verbalize what’s going on so they act out
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Talk to her like a person. Like: hey… we have a problem, can I talk to you about it? And go from there. And listen to her too!
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My son and I went through this. And I felt horrible too. We started a rewards program. For every day that he didn’t talk back, do things with our arguing, and overall had a good attitude he could earn a quarter. At the end of the month he could do whatever he wanted with the money. We would put it in a jar if he earned it and if he did not then we would talk about why. He is still no angel but things got soooo much better.
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I would never reward my six-year-old grandson for listening that should be a given if they respect you enough and you say what you mean and mean what you say they will get it be consistent
Yes!!! You are not alone!!! Miss 6 is also going through a attitude and disobedience stage. Its driving me crazy 
. Riding this crazy train with you!! Keep going 
you got this!
Might hurt their pride but it helps trust me I raised 4 boys Rachel u know my boys never hurt them
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If they listen then they get a reward if they don’t they have to do a set amount of push ups or lose money they get for allowance at the end of the week.
I’m going through the same thing with my 9 year old son. If you find a secret that works please let me know.
set age appropriate consequences & for the love of Pete, follow through!!! even if that means leaving an event!! Do NOT threaten kids with calling someone who is not even in the house!! they know it’s an empty threat
A lot of the time they are just not hearing what you say. This was told to me by a very wise person. Stop what your doing get down on your knees sit or what ever get their attention and look them right in there face and tell them. Then have them repeat what you said and ask do you understand Sharon said and make them explain it to you. So actually you are stopping the bad behavior right then and there and usually by the time your done they forget what they were doing and have stopped the bad behavior. Always Always Always make them learn every action has a reaction it’s up to them weather it’s a good reaction or bad one.
They are also testing you to see how you react. If all else fails smack them on there little butts and send them on their way! One smack with an open hand! If you think your gonna explode lock yourself in a room and get your self together! They are watching you!
I have 5 they are are 50, 46, 40, 30 and 30.
Whisper. I found that yelling at my kids did nothing but when I whispered things like “well, I guess you don’t like riding your bike that much. I will just take it away” they peeled right up and wanted to know what I said. They learned to behave when I whispered.
I gave one direction at a time. Her litle brain may not be able to handle multiple directions at once.
If you can’t control her now at 6 years old, you ain’t seen nothing yet!!
Look into “Parenting with Love and Logic.”
She will turn off even more to all the yelling. I responded so much more to when my dad spoke quietly rather than to my mum who got loud. Like others have said be consistent, use sanctions, withholding things she likes for a while.
Like a lot of people have said do it quietly.
Take away things she likes playing with ,do not cater to her if she gets upset or mad about it too. Time out in a corner and if she does not stay there ,you tell her you will take away toys or anything she likes and one by one until she learns your the parent not her …
Sometimes a good old fashion spanking helps.
Maybe something has happened why she isn’t listening to you, ask her if she’s ok?
When people yell at you frequently do you seek them out , and listen to their every word?
May look at what your behavior is teaching.
- Be consistent.
- There must be consequences if she doesnt listen.
- Dont just make empty threats, enforce your rules.
So I ask my kids to mind, then I yell about 5 times and then if that still doesn’t work I BUST THAT ASS
Validate her n try to use things like i turn lights n tv off. I disagree with yelling
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If you whisper, they’ll want to know what you’re saying and therefore will stop and listen to you. Yelling constantly will cause them to tune you out.
Ask her if something is going on in her life that she is acting like that if she is just being defiant discipline her
At that age, reward system usually works well.
Only tell them once then comes punishment. Stick to it and you will see results. No yelling.
Hi I have a 5 year old global development delayed son, now he won’t listen as well with dad like he does with my …why you ask , cause I don’t yell at him ( in my 6 years of being mother I’ve attended about 10 parenting courses/ class they all recommend a calm low voice ) now heres my question look back when you where a child/ teenager did you get yelled at and if you did , did you listen , if you answered no ( then that’s something to think about) …I do hope you get the info / help need in your situation
Mine are still in that stage at 19,16&15! Ain’t grown out yet!
Stop yelling and try listening her first. U need to talk to her and hear what she has to say.
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She’s testing you. Be strong, but patient!
Whose the mom?
How about a toddler to get to listen to me?
Keeps throwing things and have fun doing it. “Things” like celphone.
Just this morning i scolded him and he acted like calling some one on the same phone he’s playing; " eyow?! Pis? Mama mad!" ( hello?! Police? Mama mad!)
I dont know if i should cry mad or cry laughing
Tell her if she doesn’t listen something that she likes will be taken away until she starts listening.
Get hearing tested. Had the same issue. My son hadd 80% hearing loss in one ear😮
Lol just kidding! If she has a fav show to watch she must behave otherwise no show. I would that to my son it work for awhile lol good luck!
Reward good behavior. Correct the bad in a calm way. Not easy but it works
Stop yelling and whatever you want her to do…do it with her.
Time outs work good! Or loss of privledges. If you don’t gain control now it’ll only get worse!!
Have her hearing checked,along with her eyes!!
Read the book 3-2-1 magic worked wonders on my little assholes and I now almost never yell
I was going through the same thing with my 5 year old and my best advice based off of experience is communicate your feelings with her more. Let her know when you are feeling frustrated and need a break before you start yelling. Over time she might stop acting out as much be more inclined to tell you how she’s feeling based off of the example you set. There are times when discipline is necessary and we all raise our voices sometimes, but it’s important to remember to apologize to her for yelling and tell her you’ll try to communicate better next time.
Set boundaries and live by them
Take away something she likes or likes to do until she is ready to listen.
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