How do I get a six-year-old to sleep in her own room? She’s in her own bed, but in our room, she falls asleep holding my hand?
Enjoy it while it lasts, she’ll stop on her own one day and you’ll yearn for those days again
Try moving her bed in her room. Read bedstories and have night lights. Sit there in floor by her bed till fell asleep then quietly move out of the room. If she wakes up put back in bed. Sit there till fall asleep and then move out. Just keep repeating that process for 2 weeks. Then put in her bed bed time story. Give her hug and kiss. Reassure her you in another room if she needs you. Keep on top of it till she gets use it. I had to do that with my granddaughter
We still have our 5yr old in ours. Hubby will usually move to his bed because he has to have room.
My 7 yr old is still in our bed…we’ve done her own room but she lays awake allnight…
She was sleeping allday so we just allowed her to stay in our bed…I guess she’ll be ready when she’s ready…
I did this with my son and it works very well if she is 6 years old let her know that you will come back and check on her every 6 minutes and that you will be back every time to check and make sure she is okay and give her a kiss until she is asleep reassure her that you will keep coming back
I had a friend do this. She still had him in the same bed at 13. Move her bed to her own room.
First step will have to be moving the bed. Help her fall asleep in her own room in a familiar bed. Put in a night light. It will be hard at first and maybe open-door policy would be good until she has adjusted, so she can come in to get you. But there’s no way I can see to do it without moving her bed.
She wants to be with you for comfort so maybe you should just cherish the moments. One day she will not even want you stepping in her room.
I actually had this very same issue with my now 9 year old boy…. Our beds were relatively close because he always had to hold my hand or run my arm. Every week I would move his bed a Little further away in the room. Once he was in his own area where he couldn’t hold my hand it was much easier to transition over to his own room.
As soon as my son became a toddler and no longer needed a crib, we went to a department store where he could choose his bedding. Dinosaur sheets, the color of his blanket, and a dinosaur comforter. I bought dinosaur stuffed animals he could sleep with and a dinosaur lamp. He was thrilled with his room! That first night, he was a little scared and called for me twice…the first time was a test run to make sure I would be there. The second time he called for me, I stayed until he fell back to sleep. That was it…except for the occasional bad dream. He slept in his own room and was proud to be a “big boy”.
When my daughter decided (on her own) to sleep in her room, we did a little reward every time she woke up in her own bed in the morning lol that definitely helped. And I took her to the store and let her choose a new comforter set. And every night she chooses which stuffed animal to cuddle!
I got mines a night light bear to hug and a projected stars light for her ceiling. She loves being in her room now.
The judgment about a mom not wanting to sleep with a child in her room is crazy. The passive aggressive “it goes so fast” or “you’re gonna miss it” isn’t helpful
The kid is 6 lol. I think mom has more than earned the right to choose for herself.
Mom, whatever method you choose, be consistent! We sabotage ourselves when we give in because it’s easier. It’s really not lol
I sat by my sons bed The first night leaning my head on his bed and holding his hand, the first time he got up I told him it was time to go back to bed gave him a kiss and put him down then every time he got up after that I just picked him up, didn’t say anything and put him back in bed Took four or five times of him trying to but then he fell asleep. The next night we went through the same routine only I was sitting in his doorway. The night after that I sat in the hallway doing the same routine. The next night I was in my room I did the routine. After that he slept in his own roomUnless he wasn’t feeling good. Persistence is key.
My son sleeps in his own room and I lay with him and hold his hand every night till he falls asleep and then I leave. He is 3 tho.
i’d probably recommend to move her bed into her room, have her pick out new bedding (or something else that’s in your budget - new pillow, special stuffie, cool nightlight) and make it special. then pull up a chair and hold her hand at night like usual. then if she gets up in the middle of the night, go in and hold her hand.
if you’re “extra” (and i probably would be ) i’d have a special “amy’s first night in her big kids bedroom!” dinner with candles and talking about what mom and dads kid bedrooms were like… just make a big deal about how you’re excited that she’s finally old enough to be in her own room.
Put her bed back in her room, put her butt in her bed and tell her to go to sleep. It really is that easy. YOU are the parent!
My 3 year old is the same way! Get a pair of cheap gloves & make yourself a rice bag glove. Warm it up a little before bed & see if that will work. Works for mine.
I totally understand wanting her out. My son was the same was. I started having to sleep with him in his own room and then he got used to it. But It’s so cute she holds your hand, you’re her comfort
Let the child pick out some new stuff for their room. Maybe a special night light, bedding a stuffy and pjs etc. I have an essential oil diffuser that also acts as a night light and a sound machine, its been magic for my children. You can maybe start by staying w her until she falls asleep holding your hand. I followed joe frost (the nanny) and you get the kid ready for bed, do kisses and stories etc. Say “it’s bedtime” and leave the room, if she gets up then you put her back and say “bed” if she does it again then you place her back with no words and you continue to do so until they stay. Consistency and sticking to what method you do is the most important
Put her bed in her room start a routine that she likes and involves time with you and reward her with praise and fun activities when she stays in her own room
My Son is almost 7. He started in my bed and it was tough getting him out. I played sleepy relaxing music on loop in his room. Bought a string of lights at Ikea and wrapped them around his bed. I told him he could sleep in my bed on the weekends. It worked! After a while, I told him he could sleep in my bed either Fri or Sat, that he could choose. He asked me every day for months:
What day it is??
I love him SO much♥️
At any age you have to stay in their room until they fall asleep. Even when they wake up during the night. It’s very hard I know, and there will be many nights that you’ll give up and say oh wth one more night, then start again. Until they suddenly stay in their bed and they don’t need you anymore. That my dear, will hurt. Enjoy your child
My 7-year-old still sleeps with me sometimes and I don’t care one bit because one day she won’t do it anymore. She has her own room, bed, and everything but finds it hard to fall asleep sometimes. She is getting better and is leading the way on her own. My first thought when I read she falls asleep holding your hand was how sweet is that. Some kids take longer to transition your her safe place let her feel safe and eventually she will move in her own room under her own steam
Don’t worry about it, my daughter was like that until she was about 7 and then just grew out of wanting me next to her when she fell asleep… she’s now 15 and a hug would be nice but a teenager who thinks hugs are yuck !!!
My almost 4 year old usually falls asleep in my bed or his own if he’s in mine then I move him out in his bed. He usually comes back out in my room around 4-5 am and gets in and falls back to sleep. So once he’s asleep I moved him back out to his room again. I’m hoping he will eventually want to just stay in his bed
My 6 yr old granddaughter did that for a long time. If she couldn’t sleep with her mom she would come sleep with me. I told her she couldn’t sleep with me either so she brought her blanket & pillow & slept on the floor by my bed! Eventually she stayed in her own bed. I miss those days now!
Sit with her holding her hand while she’s in her bed in her room
Mine have never slept in my room since they was babies but my 5 almost 6 yr old daughter sleeps on the couch in our living room right in front of our room. I just keep letting her I gota get her moved too
I would love to know myself the struggle is real with my twins. I would love to have more then an inch of room to sleep every night lol
We struggled with this with my 4 year old and one day we sat her down explained she would be sleeping in her big girl bed because baby brother was gonna be coming soon. She tried arguing about it at first but when bed time rolled around we took her in there tucked her in put all her stuff animals in there . Had her lamp on & tv on. And she did perfectly fine been sleeping in there ever sense with zero issues. I honestly struggled with it more then she did.
It won’t last forever!
I have 2 older kids that sleep upstairs in their own rooms. And a 7 year old, that has his own room upstairs, but has a toddler bed in our bedroom.
I hold his hand for him to go to sleep.
Give it another few months, maybe a year…then it’s done.
And I promise it’s sad!!!
My son picked out his own bedding, nightlight, and had his favorite bear in hand… I read him a story and he was out like nothing for his first time in his own bed in his own room. And he is 6.
I slept with my son for the first 2 weeks. At first I would stay for the entire night after a few days I would go back to my bed once he fell asleep. He would ask me in the morning if slept with him and I would just say “yes baby I did”. After about 2 weeks he was ok to sleep on his own i would just tell him to go to bed and that once mom was done with whatever I was doing I would go to bed with him.
Awwwww I love this. Mine used to fall asleep holding my hand too. Now he doesn’t really wanna … maybe once a week if I’m lucky. He is 7 now. Just enjoy it while she is still willing They grow up so darn fast and then “Hey mom- I wanna sleep in my own room” comes SO FAST
I still have my baby monitor. My 5 yr old and 3 yr old both dont even leave bed from nightmares because I can talk to them and they know I can see them.
Maybe you can buy her some cool galaxy/nebula/starry night sky projector type night light. Hype her up about it and let her know how cool her room is. Let her know that Mom is there anytime that she needs you but shes a big girl who deserves an awesome big kid room I co-slept with my daughter and I was fortunate that she did so well with the transition so I’m not going to pretend it’ll be easy peasy but I wish you luck.
Both my daughters have slept in there own room since they were six months old. I never co-slept with them either and I still don’t with my 9 month old son. The only reason he’s not in his own room is because all the other bedrooms are upstairs while mine is downstairs and I don’t feel comfortable with my kid’s sleeping up there alone! I hope you can figure out good luck!
We do the falling asleep but in her bed not gonna lie it works like 45 percent of the time but that’s because I’m a push over and let me kids sleep with me every other time
Atleast she’s in her own bed is the way I see it. Yeah it invades private time a little but she won’t be little forever and won’t always want to be with you.
Ugh so freaking sweet! But I ended up letting my daughter pick out a new bed and she picked one with a slide and that’s all she wrote
Put a nightlight under her bed and say the monster under your bed has decided to stay in your room permanently
I think that’s sweet you got to do what you need to do every one gonna do different things when it comes to there kids I say just work with her and it will take time I for one co sleep right now with my 2 almost 3 year old I love it and enjoy it because Ik it won’t last forever and one day she’s not gonna want to anymore so I’m gonna enjoy my baby while she’s young
I put my oldest in her own room at 4 months. Always best to start early. At that age you just have to be patient and persistent
Try a weighted glove and stuffed animal with a shirt of yours on it.
TV…favorite cartoons. Fan for white noise
Treasure Treasure those moments… you will never get them back again!
Just leave her be! I promise you will wish you left it in seven yrs!
All you can really is do it and be consistent with it
Ease into it. Have her pick new sheets, accessories, ect. Spend time with her in her new room. Maybe get her a nightlight or a monitor (she can call if she needs you).
I have a routine for my son. I stay in his room until he falls asleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night, I walk him back and stay a few minutes. It took time (lots of time).
Nikeisha Pinkerton there might be some helpful hints in these comments x
Lay in her bed until she’s asleep then go to your room. It worked with my grandaughter. But why rush it?? She’ll be grown and gone soon enough
My daughters 5 and will occasionally sleep in my bed during winter it’s different cause my rooms the only room with heat cant have heaters cause it blows the fuse box and my apartment place has to call an electrician to turn it back on. Anyways what I did is when I got her her own bed I would sleep with her in her bed then wake up and move to mine. Did that for several month now she sleeps in her own bed with many stuffed animals. You will get it momma. Just takes consistency
Yes they grow fast, but if she doesn’t sleep in her own room, she’ll be sleeping in the bed with you till she’s a teenager lol
My kid is 11 and still sleeps w us and im currently 8 months pregnant just embrace it once they grow up they won’t need you anymore lol
Why is her bed in your room?
Naw, so sweet, she’ll transition naturally.
My 6yr old always climbs in with me in bed also & as uncomfortable as it can be at times I love snuggling with her & how safe she feels & sleeps so good! Buuut I do enjoy when she does utilize her own bed! I bought her a bed she likes off Amazon reasonable, let her pick out bedroom theme for bedding & decor & organized it cute…she loves the dream catcher above her bed & we always read a book after tucking her in which seems to help! N they always seem 2 stay put more often when room is clean & organized & they are proud of there space! Good Luck
First time mom here. When did yall give them their own room? Our baby boy is 1.5 months old.
Awww…I would LOVE that. Again.
It’s over so fast.
Enjoy it while you can…
Respectful Sleep Training/Learning is a great resource!
Bought a door chime with an alarm and chime sound. Boys learned pretty quick not to open that door. That alarm is so so loud. Plus I have a monitor in there so I can sooth them (ie, tell them they’re fine and get their little butts back in bed) and see what they are up to. 4 and 7. It’s the 4 year old that is a little terror and will destroy the house as we sleep, hence the alarm.
My son was like this and still tries to sleep in my bed. But I got him a weighted blanket and another weighted pillow that is curved so it holds him then do meditation for kids on YouTube. I went a good week with little sleep taking him back to his bed after about a week or so it became routine.
The o’grady one it’s all free advice on there…i couldn’t believe my son sleeps in his own bed all night most nights now and happily!
I have to say I miss those days, but I also get that this kind of attachment gets tiring, and also worrisome for your child’s independence.
My daughter grew out of this behaviour as she realized that I would always be there for her. If your child does not grow out of this, then maybe there is something going on her with her, some deeper fear that you or a therapist might be able to uncover.
Would it help if she had her bed in her room and you stayed with her until she fell asleep, then you go to your room.
Just let her hold your hand. Keep her close for as long as she wants. You will never get these moments back. Embrace it. She will sleep in her own room before you know it.
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE! I have a boy an girl ages 4 and 3 my oldest she was breast fed for only three months, then with my son he was never breast fed and he is a lot more independent than she is and he’s only 3! He goes to sleep by himself does his own thing through the day but my girl my 4 year old girl she has to kiss me on my cheek every 5 minutes LITERALLY and she tells me she loves me about every 5 minutes as well and I love it but sometimes I need to breath and she wants to sleep with me sit with me shit with me I just can’t win and here her ass comes right now out her bed LITERALLY
Not sure if anyone mentioned this, but maybe talking to her and seeing what she needs help with to sleep in her own bed? For example, she can’t sleep unless she’s holding your hand. Ask her if she’d like for you to hold her hand while she falls asleep on her own bed or seeing if she’d like something of yours to hold onto in bed. It’s connection that she’s seeking. This is just a suggestion. I don’t have personal experience with it. My 3 and almost 2 yr old both sleep with me still. .
I’m still having this trouble with my 6 year old. He has his own room he decorated. He has 2 night lights a bear that does star projection and a weighted blanket. He falls asleep way before I do so he starts in his bed. He has gotten so sneaky that I don’t even realize he’s in my bed until the next morning. I’ve tried bribing, laying with him you name it. It’s at a point now I don’t even fight it. He’ll eventually stay in his room when he’s ready.
It was awhile ago but what worked for me…I told my daughter if she liked my room and needed to sleep in it that I would sleep in her room and she could sleep in my room. She would start in my room and eventually come into her room where I was. After about 4 days, she slept in her own room by herself
Kids are little for such a short while. I guarantee you will wish for more when you age.
Let me tell you a secret …it wont be like this for long enjoy the hell out of those kicks and scratches now because one day you will go to lay down and she/he will not go lay with you and it will absolutely break your heart…that night you realize how much you loved them sleeping in your bed
Tickets… I give my son a ticket (used gift card whatever) every night. I do our routine make sure he’s set and comfy, peed has water at his bed ect. Then he gets his ticket. I told him the first day I started it. Every day you get one. If you want to come out or you want me to come back in that’s fine but you have to give me a ticket every time. Whatever tickets you have left over you can cash in for a toy/game/book at the end of the week. Each ticket can represent however much your comfortable with. The first night he came out I made him give me His ticket, he was not happy. Next night same thing. He tried to come out. I said if you come out you have to give me your ticket. He didn’t want to so guess what… he chose to stay in his room. He was bad, kept coming out multiple times a night, crying everything every night from 2 1/2 to 3. This method stopped that. He is amazing now. Never comes out. I did it for a couple months and then stopped. He’s still compliant sounds corny but it works like a charm.
Only way my 1st daughter would sleep in her room was to leave a lamp on all night. I bought a low wattage bulb and left it on. This also helped a coworker’s son that was having the same issue.
Good luck… if you figure it out, please share. We’ve tried sleeping in her room, getting her a cool new big girl bed, all the lights, put an Alexa in there to intercom her all night… treats… prizes… you name it. Also tried to wait til she fell asleep and dump her in her own bed. She will get up and relocate
You could try putting her in her bedroom kiss cuddle goodnight and whatever else, light off then every time she leaves to go into your room, just put her right back into hers very calmly say you sleep in your own room now. Do it over and over and over until she gives up and you win. Might be a week of broken sleep but surely you will break her habit
My son was 3 when him and his brother started sleeping in their own room. I explained to him that he was a big boy and had to sleep in his bed. And i never once regret my decision!!! He tried to sneak back in our room at first it was a few times a night and i would just tuck him back into his bed, but eventually he stopped.
I feel like I’m in the minority here but my kid has been in her own room in her own crib since day 1. She knows I love her but there has to be a line and it builds independence. I would put her in her own room. Tell her your hold her hand for (insert time) every night and that she has to sleep in her own room now. Start a new routine. Maybe read a story in her room before bed.
It makes her feel safe. I wouldn’t change a thing. It won’t last forever but don’t you want her to feel safe and loved?
It’s hard at first, you will be tired, but every time you little gets up, put them back in their bed in their room, don’t say anything, it’s a repetitive process, I gave my kids something of mine (with my scent) to sleep with, like a shirt, jacket, or throw blanket, within maybe a week, they were asleep in their beds
Slowly wean her off holding your hand
Start by letting go when she’s drifting off to sleep and slowly start to let go sooner and sooner.
Sounds blunt and rude but put her in her room and not allow her in your room. I had to break my 4 year old when my boyfriend moved in and it was a little hard.
Put her in her room and if she gets up just send her back. I went though that with my youngest and I just kept sending her back in there. She would cry herself to sleep. It took me about 3 nights and it was over. It was like breaking one from the bottle. The only thing different was she slept in the bed with me.
Shoot my 5 year old has taken over my bed… If i let her fall asleep in my bed and move her to her bed she ends up back in my bed in the middle of the night, if I lay in her room with her until she falls asleep, she comes back in my bed in the middle of the night… it’s a huge struggle, we have explained it to her that she is a big girl and needs to sleep on her bed…I put led lights and a night light, I read books to her and tell bed time stories . I let her pick out a kids comforter set and a special pillow and stuffed animal. I think she just feels secure in our bed🤷♀️ it won’t last forever right? Lol I never had this issue with my other 2 girls and she is the last baby… so I am just going to enjoy it while I can.
Pick your battles. My,youngest slept in our room forever I made her sleep on the floor promised her the moon,ECT. She’s grown into,a wonderful,woman and it didn’t hurt her a bit. Someday she’ll go in her own bed and you will miss thst cuddle time
My six year old is still in our room. She has her own bed in there, she was six last month and she went out of our bed into her own in February. I still need to lie with her to get her to sleep. She’s my youngest out of six, there’s no other room for her anyway and I like the opportunity to have a quick lie down and snuggle with her before the chores of the evening. Good luck. You’re not alone and I’m not sure of your situation, but enjoy. Don’t stress if you don’t need to.
You blink once and they’re teenagers. Blink twice and they’re grown. Enjoy it.
My 10 year old sometimes sleeps in my bed, she has her whole life.
It’s not every night, but prolly 3x a week.
Idk why, I don’t mind tho.
Get one of the magic bags and heat it up and toss it in the bed to warm it up. She will fall asleep.
My youngest is 5 just off 6 and only the last 6 months or so we have been able to put her to bed in her own bed but she has a night light she takes to bed with her which is just a fancy torch type of thing but every night around midnight give or take she will run through the house and jump into our bed where she remains for the rest of the night. It’s frustrating cos she attached herself to me or has to be touching me when I just want some space to sleep
Start by explaining to her that she’s a big girl and needs to sleep in her own room. Maybe get a night light projector type of thing and things to make her comfortable and not scared
I never let my children sleep with me unless it was a rare occasion. Never had this problem
I have a 4 year old who still sleeps in my bed. Embrace it mommy, 1 day she will lay in her own bed and u will miss that tiny warm hand. The 2am kisses and the tiny feet on ur thigh.
Always make sure they wake up in their own room, even if it’s for ten minutes.
I bought my son a New Bed. He picked it out. He loves his new room I stay with him in his bed until he falls asleep. He stays in his bed all night. He is almost 6
Cuddles can be given whenever. Get a routine. Your parents did it and they used to let us cry. 3 nights max and we were fine. If they wake in the night and crawl in and your ok with it great, let em stay. And forget night lights. They make shadows and wake them/you up. It is hard the first few nights but it will be ok. If it doesn’t bother you co sleep. But better sleep if not co and yes I miss it. Mine are grown.
Just let them take them back when they go to sleep v. My kids slept with me on Sunday and that was also pantry and t shirt day. I miss it
I put a crib mattress on the floor next to my bed. Regardless, my youngest would be there on the floor every morning, starting at about age 3. Sleepwalker, autistic. I figured it would be nicer to have a blanket, pillow and mattress waiting. She finally stopped around age 8.