I feel your pain. I’ve never had a child refuse to eat until my granddaughter came along. We have tried everything. For the people who say let them go to bed without food, they’ll get hungry enough to eat has never truly experienced a child like this. Its very frustrating, my granddaughter has been like this since she was 3, she’s almost 8. When I tell you nothing works I’m not kidding.
Idea: take her out (or have her daddy take her out on a date night) just child and 1 parent to a nice dress up restaurant. Show her what other “ladies” are eating. She may actually be wanting some 1:1 time with you (especially her daddy!). Allow her to pick a plate with protein, veg and a little starch (maybe a kids size meal). She needs some extra attention now and needs to feel loved unconditionally an especially needs to feel listened to. Praying for you and her!
I make one meal for everyone. Anyone who refuses to eat what I make is not forced. They are excused. We wrap the plate and put it in the refrigerator. However, we have a rule that if they claim to be hungry later, and the meal was not eaten, we will reheat it and that is what they’ll eat. No snacks or substitutes are offered or allowed to replace the uneaten meal. Consistency is key. It’s not easy as the parent. Though, it worked for me. As a result, I now have two very healthy adult children with a very short list of items that they dislike eating.
First of all, I would take her to the Dr to be checked just to make sure she doesn’t have something medically wrong that she is having cravings for either salty/ sugary foods and maybe have food allergy/ intolerance tests done. Once that’s done and you know everything is OK, then stop letting her be manipulative and let her go hungry. Food at my house growing up was take it or leave it. Eat it or grow hungry and that was that. If you don’t stop it now it will only get worse and escalate to other areas in her life. Counseling if it doesn’t stop. She already has control issues.
Stop rewarding bad behavior. Let this tyrant go to bed hungry
It could be a medical issue. Her body maybe craving the salt. I’m not a doctor. I just think its better to make sure her health is not in question.
My kids rarely eat dinner. They have a light breakfast, a solid lunch and maybe a pb & j, or some hummus and pretzels as an evening snack. 3 set meals a day might not work for her. Give her a couple options she can choose from, or she can choose a glass of milk or something. Kids are people too and deserve the right to say yes or no. Just don’t make it a fight, either she takes one of the options or she goes to bed hungry.
We cannot force a child to eat! Children have food aversion for many reasons. Some children with autism or special needs have very real issues with taste and texture. They will actually vomit if forced to try certain foods. I am a retired preschool teacher with 3 adult children and four grand children. It’s best not to fight with our children about nutrition. When they are breast fed, babies stop when they are full. We can offer them small tastes of organic soft foods when they show interest. As toddlers, when presented with a variety of vegetables and fruits, they can choose. They may not like a certain food now, but when offered at a later date, they may be receptive. Mealtime should be peaceful, not a battle ground. We can take the little ones grocery shopping, let them make choices from our approved list. Get them involved in food preparation and cooking at a young age. Grow a small garden and have them help and pick and prepare the bounty. My adult daughters were very picky eaters, and they ended up being diagnosed with food allergies. No wonder they gagged on the offending foods. They hated meat, and are slim, healthy Vegans today. Their younger brother ate everything I set before him. And when he was satisfied, he pushed the plate away and announced he was done. He still does. I never made him eat those last couple bites of food. He also needed to eat healthy snacks between meals or he would get grouchy. I never snack. None of my kids had a sweet tooth, neither do I. We never had pop or sweet cereals in the house, and dessert was not a thing. My brother was very picky growing up, he existed on peanut butter and grew to.6’4", and is an avid hunter and fisherman. He used to get sick when encouraged to eat mashed potatoes. I ate everything and was a skinny kid. Children are individuals. If their well child visits, growth and labs are good, they are eating just fine.
I grew up feeling like my mother hated me for forcing me to eat meals that made my stomach turn and made me gag. Just make an extra meal. It could spare her a lifetime of feeling unloved for being forced food she can’t eat and not being worth the +10 minutes to feed her something she can.
Buck up Mom. Put her food in front of her. Take it or leave it. Tantrum? Unacceptable and deal with that obnoxious behavior. She won’t starve. Keep her hydrated and take control back. She’s playing you. I raised 5 including twins so I have some experience.
That girl is going to have a hard time when out of the house!!! She will either be incredibly unhealthy or starve! You wanna lay the law down not mama! Have you ever tried to explain to her the importance of eating a balanced meal? Bring in visuals of unhealthy people! Not just fat but show people with bad teeth hair skin and nails! Explain the importance of getting those vitamins into your body and how even if you take a supplement a lot of it washes right out and doesn’t digest as normally into the the body as healthy food does!
I would have her sugar tested for Diabetes … craving sweet and starchy foods is a clue also does she drink alot thats another sign … but on the other hand my nephew only ate chicken nuggets and hot dogs for 3 years
Try playing food games and while she might need eat all veggies find a few she perhaps likes. My daughter loved Greenbeans and i let her pull them apart and eat piece by piece like a puzzle which she found fun?
Follow… kids eat in color on Instagram. She offers so much real help.
Either eat or go without. Spoiled brat syndrome.
Growing up, my son refused to eat meat or veggies. The doctor told us not to force him, but if he would eat peanut butter sandwiches, he’d get the protein he needed. He grew up on peanut butter sandwiches, some cereal, and occasional waffles. My grandson also refuses most foods, but will eat cheese pizza, some mac and cheese, and pancakes. Give her what she’ll eat. Maybe she’ll outgrow this or maybe she won’t. Just give her lots of love, and maybe some peanut buttner now and then. It could work.
Suffer the consequences of your stupidity. Put a foot in her ass or stop your whining. You asked for advice, you got it.
All of above , old school.
Check for physical issues
Agreed Lydia Merva!!!
Spoiled rotten to me
Dont feel bad. The first kid is a tester kid, we always fuck up something, this isnt the worst possible thing. However you can and should send her to bed hungry, or when she screams or catches an attitude.
Be chill on the meat, but 100% make her eat her veggies, she wont die before she starts eating I promise.
Y’all are some harsh moms sending kids to bed hungry. I would never send my child to bed hungry. Let them have a sandwich or a bowl of cereal or something dang. I don’t eat shit I don’t like and I bet y’all don’t either
Stop making g special good for her.
Stop giving in and making her anything else. Tell her if she don’t eat what was made she won’t eat. She will stop that shit quick.
I’m torn. I was a picky kid raised by a picky parent. If they fixed something I didn’t like…I could fix me a peanut butter and jelly. I ate that a bunch growing up lol. So I never made my kids eat things they didn’t like. I didn’t fix a second meal but they were more than welcome to eat a TV dinner or sandwich.
And I was the kid that would throw up if I ate something I didn’t like. Not by choice. It would just happen. And sadly I didn’t grow out of it. Let an olive hit my mouth and it’s a done deal.
As long as she’s eating she’ll be ok. It’s just a stage and she’ll outgrow. Hang in there a little longer momma
Maybe get her involved with meal prep and feel like she’s helping/choosing might help
Bread and Butter if you don’t eat what I make
Send her to bed without dinner. It won’t take too many times. She does the fits because you cave.
So she knows to throw it to get her way. Plus she is learning to do this as a way to deal with issues. Whining to get her way. It isn’t healthy.
My boy is 9, he use to be really fussy with certain meat and veg. He would always try it. I would always cook him an alternative if my and his dad was having something I knew he wouldn’t eat. Eg, gammon egg and chips we would do him sausage coz we knew he’d eat it. He still will only eat carrots and broccoli but he is getting better he tried a parsnip the other day and liked it. Kids are funny. He is pretty good now and eats most meats etc he grew out of it eventually so it isn’t very often I have to cook something different. Yesterday we had chicken wraps with peppers. I cook him chicken croutons instead coz I know he likes them. As long as i know he’s tried it and he doesn’t like it then I won’t make it for him but me and by fiancé will still have ours just tweek his a bit. Xx
I have 6 kids in my house. Three are ours and three are our nieces and nephews. My 8 year old neice is picky. I work full time and my husband works full time. We cook one meal. If she doesn’t eat it, she gets a sandwich. That she makes. If it is something I know she likes but just is refusing to eat, like spaghetti or pizza. She doesn’t get another choice. She always eats some of it. They have been with us for over 2 years now. She is healthier than she has ever been.
You either eat what is cooked … PBJ or try tomorrow and maybe it will be better … stop buying junk food
Cook one meal for the whole family. If she refuses to eat send her to bed with nil treats. She will soon learn to eat what is put in front of her.
I can’t believe how many people are saying force your kid to eat or send them to bed without food. This is 2020 not the 70’s. That’s how you cause distrust and food aversions. Make her different food and build a trust so that you can convince her to at least try new foods even if it’s a bite. This age range is known for being picky with their food. They will grow out of it, but they’ll never forget if their parents forced them to eat food they didn’t want to.
you won’t eat what u don’t like right? so why should she? u can have 10 kids but they will ALL be different. imagine how you would feel if someone tried to force u to eat something that to you was horrendous?
You should make her a doctors appointment she could be diabetic it makes you crave all the foods you listed she wants, if no medical issue make deals with her, she should atleast try what you have cooked
I make decently healthy foods and heaven forbid a 7 and 8 yr old eat healthy they act like they are dying. But I’ve been stern with them and I know they love chicken so I make that in different ways but they always have to eat one bite of whatever it is that they are saying gross to just to test the water. If they don’t like it, well at least they ate one bite. So like I made tilapia with rice and veggies. My daughter loved the fish and my son was iffy about it but then decided he just wanted rice and veggies, I’m good, you ate two things on your plate that are decent proportions to not have a hurt tummy, you can have one piece of candy. I’d just stay stern with her, you are the boss not the other way around
I’m sure a few nights going hungry will get her to eat what you serve. And be the Parent you know the one who tells your child what to do…
Bottom line, quit catering to her. Let her throw her tantrum and let her protest by not eating. She will eventually get the idea. The bottom line is, she is spoiled and expects it. The only way to fix it is to show her that you aren’t doing it anymore. You may be miserable at the beginning, but that will be her goal. Just push through and you both will be better for it.
Been there but she’s 5. Refuses to eat anything I make but will eat the same foods at other people house or if we go out.
My son will sometimes not like what I cook and I explain to him that he will not. E getting anything else and he will have to go hungry if he doesn’t eat it. He learned after the first couple of times I wasn’t joking and he eats more of it.
My fiancé’s son thinks that I should do the same. I discipline his just the same as my biological boys. He doesn’t eat what I cook he goes to bed hungry or if it’s in the morning at lunch or breakfast then he will sit there till he eats everything on his plate. I don’t play if he doesn’t eat no TV or video games and he will sit at the table until he eats or he won’t move the whole time. I do that to my almost 2 year old. You might be the bad mom in your child’s opinion but I’d rather be bad mom than the mom who let you skip on nutrition. Start taking away activities that they like and go from there. (Side note my son by love asked me in a hateful tone what if I don’t eat this? And I flat out told him that he won’t get to watch TV or play video games with his dad and I will let his daddy know)
Pretty harsh Jeanette, but you have no children!!!
I tell my kids that I don’t negotiate with terrorists when they act up. She has 3 choices, what you make, pbj, or nothing.
Follow Feeding Littles they have a lot of great tips! It’s mainly focused in babies, but she has older girls and gives tips about older kids.
If I was you I’d make her eat it. You eat what we all eat, this isn’t a restaurant. Eventually she will eat if she’s hungry right. No snacks.
I have 3 boys 12yrs,9yrs n 6yrs. My 6yr will eat any veggie in front of him . my 12 yr knows there is no option when dinner is cooked. But my 9yr gave me hell all last yr. So took it old school how my parents did me. He got two options.
1 eat what i cooked!
2 starve!.
It was like this every night for about month then he relized i wasn’t giving in. He now doesn’t complain. Its not easy but kid is old enough to understand. Hang in there n good luck!
I saw a show where kids wouldn’t always eat what was cooked and parents were beyond frustrated. Said to cook what you planned and give them a glass of milk if they won’t eat it.
Just have to stand firm and fight the fight without caving in. When she gets hungry enough, you’ll win.
I tell mine if she doesn’t eat what I make she can make her own dinner
I get that you dont want to force her, but I sure cant afford to cook 2 meals every night. My children know this.
Sometimes I have to tell them to eat just enough so that their is food in their tummies because I am not making a second meal and I dont want them to starve.
And 6/10 times they’ll end up liking something they didnt want.
If my daughter wouldnt eat what I made her only other option was a pbj. And yes I did that even when she was 4. I wasnt going to get in that habit.
I can relate. . My son would rather go to bed hungry than eat his vegetables.
Maybe take her to a place to volunteer where people are really hungry and getting a meal… maybe that will open her eyes so to speak and help. I feel for you my 4 year old is sort of in this path
Make one meal she is to try 2 bites and then if she doesn’t like it offer diff option. If she refuses fine put up when she starts saying shes hungry pull it out
I have to make my daughter separate meals. She is 13 and will not eat hardly anything that my other 4 eat.
My 3 year old won’t eat nothing I make. I have to make her chicken nuggets, cut apples, give her yogurt, or other fruits she is sooooooo picky. All the drs say it’s a phase they go though
Um, stop making seperate meals for one. Eat whats made for dinner. They won’t starve.
I got 3 terrible fussy eaters here, never want what I cook… i make my meal but i always have something quick for them. I wint make them eat anything they don’t want… i wouldnt eat something i dont like so why should they?
My youngest survived on cereal for a year. He came out of it. They won’t starve themselves
She doesn’t eat anything else until she eats that. Growing up thats how it was. I imagine its hard as a parent (I have just a 5 month old) but thats how it goes.
At that age, she’s not going to starve. She’ll eat what she’s offered when she’s hungry enough. Unless there’s a medical/ mental issue, I don’t see why you would need to be making her separate meals.
I make what I make n if my youngest wont eat it he gets something like a hotdog or pbj. Something quick n easy that he will eat. I have no issues w my other 2.
Remove all junk food from the house - sugar is an addiction. It will be a miserable week while she detoxes, don’t give in.
is spanking not allowed anymore? My mom would do the sit there until it’s gone thing. Couldnt move play or do anything if we didnt eat our dinner. Stopped bad behaviour right away.
I may sound really stupid saying this, but i think youre lucky to have an independant thinking child! I hate kids who just do what they are told, eat what they are told to eat etc. Maybe you should look on the bright side of this. If she is such a picky eater, see if you can interest her in helping you pick and prepare dinner for the family. Maybe if she is involved with the making of food she will try more things, etc. I dont know but what could it hurt, really??
Encourage it I tell my kids there are some stuff you won’t like but you never know until you try I encourage them to try everything my 4 year old same way very picky but if I see him take a bit of something new I’ll tell him good job high fives what not and if he eats all his food I’ll go and brag to his dad were he can here me positive reinforcement he tried spinach the other night and found out he loved it also maybe get one of those plates that separates the food cuz I noticed my son won’t eat it if the food is touching
I was raised with “don’t like it, don’t eat it. Don’t see it, don’t ask for it.” If I didn’t eat my dinner my parents would put it in the fridge and if I got hungry later, that was my option to eat. I’m so glad they did that for me because I eat just about everything now and love healthy stuff! I implement this with my son and plan to do the same with my daughter
I have a 6 yr old that does this. I told her if she dosent eat dinner which was chicken and scalloped potatoes then she’d be getting it in her lunch the next day…now she eats her dinner. They just have to know your serious!! You got this!!
I tell my daughter who is 2 she will eat what I make that no days we can’t afford to waste food
If she doesn’t eat, take the food away. When she says she’s hungry give her the food back. She can go one meal without food, I have an almost 9 year old and if he doesn’t want eat what we make, there is nothing else. I do not play that game, “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” She’s got to learn that not everything is about her and that she doesn’t always get her way when she wants it. If she doesn’t eat dinner then she can eat breakfast. If she doesn’t eat lunch she can eat at dinner.
I’m opposite advice. I dony want to be forced to eat things I don’t like either. No she can’t eat garbage all the time, but she should not be forced to eat food she hates if it isn’t an issue of availability or poverty.
Honestly just stop making separate meals. If shes hungry she will eat. I would include something in your meals though that you know she will eat so you know she is eating something. But stop making full meals just for her. And dont let her fill up on only the one thing you put into the meal that she likes either. My kids know they cant have seconds of anything until their firsts are completely gone. It will be hard at first but it will get easier
Mistake I made making one of mine separate food. Now she is the pickiest adult I have ever seen
Put your foot down tell her you what i cook or go hungry simple
My husband as well as my daughter are both picky eaters. Instead of forcing my 7 year old to eat foods she doesn’t like, I emphasize on healthy food she will eat. She loves apples, carrots, broccoli, fish. Try incorporating the foods your daughter like in every meal you make or cut those veggies in advance and store them in the fridge for an easy access.
She can sit there and watch you guys eat she will eventually get hungry. You’re not trying to make her eat trash and she can eat 1 of the 3 separate items you probably put on that plate. If she doesn’t like a certain vegetable I understand making her another one she will eat but stop letting her get her own special meals.
I let my son go through his fazes like this.
He would eat just about everything as an infant and toddler as well then by about 5-8 he got picky.
If he didn’t like something I didn’t force him to eat it. I would make him a healthy alternative. Pb&j sandwich on whole wheat and a glass of milk or granola, fruit and yogurt or something. I would give him a multivitamin every day. Now he’s 11 and he isn’t picky like that. He eats mostly everything.
I strongly disagree with some people on here that say to slap your child and force them to eat what you make. I hope next time you dislike something you are slapped and forced to eat it as well.
Children deserve respect as well as adults do and they also deserve to be able to make choices. I guess it’s easier for some people to yell and slap then it is to sit down and have a conversation about healthy eating and fuelling your body and consequences for not doing so.
Parent of 30yrs, You are her Mother not her Friend, Meal time Rules should apply to EVERYONE, a Hungry child will eat what’s put in front of them. Cut out ALL sugar and Mid day snacking , she has become accustomed to demanding special treatment, the ONLY way to reverse this behavior is to STICK TO YOU’RE GUNS, NO Dinner, NO DESSERT, NO SNACKS NO IF ANDS OR BUTS! Now dont get me wrong, I never made my children eat something they genuinely didn’t like , For my Son it was cheese of any kind and mushrooms, so if I made spaghetti I would separate a portion of sauce before adding mushrooms , But EVERYONE ate the same Dinner.
I have a 5 year old that won’t eat most meat, she pretty much will only eat chicken or hotdogs. Loves fruit and tolerates some veggies. So typically I give her whatever we made for dinner. Even if its something I know she won’t eat and make her take a couple bites of each thing, I explain to her that she maybe didn’t like it before but now she’s older and might like it now. As long as she takes the required amount of bites I will let her pick something healthy if she’s still hungry (fruit, yogurt, chicken etc) but I will not let her eat junk food/after dinner treats if she doesn’t finish her actual dinner plate.
Fix a healthy meal and tell her this is what is on the menu today. If she won’t eat it is her choice. She may go to bed hungry but will eventually eat. When she does eat what you serve let her have a treat from her preferred choice. It is tough. Hang in there it will be worth it. Don’t get into an argument. Calmly explain what is going on and then ignore her rants and tantrums.
This is hard because my 7 year old is the same way. I usually try to include something I know she likes into the meal weather it be Mac and cheese, as a side or cheesy potatoes. My daughter refuses to try anything new for me. But she will at her dads because she knows he won’t make something separate for her. So she ends up trying it and liking some of the stuff.
Like if I am making pork chops I usually make corn, and or potatoes. But you could do something she likes like Mac and cheese as a side, or a buttered roll, have her input on something she might like as a side dish.
The struggle is real, I’m not saying I don’t ever make her a separate meal because so usually do so. Hang in there momma
Have you tried involving her in the meal planning for the week? Have her find a few meals a week that she’s interested in, and include her in the shopping and meal prep. Maybe taking an active interest will help come dinner time.
Two of my children are autistic and have issues when it comes to the textures/colours of food. One of my children has suffered from anorexia for years. Long story short: pick your battles. Let them be involved with making meals, picking meals, and most importantly DON’T FORCE IT. This can lead them to develop an unhealthy relationship with food later on. If there is an underlying issue; you’ll need a nutritionist and for her to be followed by her family doctor. No all children are the same, so don’t compare them.
2 options eat it or don’t eat. Plain and simple
Ask her what she likes
Try no thank u bites or find some thing like sprinkles or cheese she loves and put it on top of every thing u cook
My kids are grown, now I feed my granddaughters supper everyday, one will eat or try most everything and the other is more picky, 1st you make your meal, if she chooses not to eat it, Don’t make her a special meal, I always put a little bit of everything on there plate plus they always get yogurt and fruit of some kind, don’t let her have snacks before meals and if she don’t eat and is hungry later no sugar snacks, fruits, vegetables or yogurt( nothing that is cooked) eventually once you quit giving into her she will learn to eat most of what you serve
My daughter didn’t like meat for the longest time cause it would get stuck in her teeth and she hated that feeling. Also some foods she couldn’t eat due to texture. Try sitting down with her and discussing what she likes and what she doesn’t. My daughter is 11 and doesn’t do much dairy because it hurts her stomach. For the things she don’t like try supplementing with vitamins if her Dr oks it. Be patient with her because chances are it isn’t a choice for her. There is more than likely a reason why. And do not withhold food from her. That can cause so many issues
When my daughter was young, she had the same plate the next morning for breakfast (heated up from being refrigerated) and I made her favorite breakfast for her sister. She got the point and didn’t do it again. When she finished her supper, she could have what we were having.
Pick a path and be consistent… whatever you decide.
When they were teens, my daughters thanked me for being the mean mom.
I feed my kids what they like to eat , would u like to be forced to eat things you don’t like
A friend of mine had the same issue with her son who would only baked beans sausages and fries. That was 40 years ago, he grew into a great tall athlete and now eats everything. Dont make mealtime a battlefield. You cant re -live their childhood.
Take something Staunton she finishes her food. For example does she have a tablet or something she loves to do, you can take her privileges away until she eats her food or you can include her with helping cook and plan your meals with supervision of course
I know a lot of parents will disagree but not giving them dinner here and there won’t hurt them. My 2 step kids were used to eating candy and poptarts for dinner because of their bio mother. When i moved in it was right around Thanksgiving and i cooked all day long. Turkey, mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, sweet potato casserole, green bean casserole, deviled eggs, homemade dinner rolls, homemade macaroni and cheese, homemade stuffing, fruit salad, orange fluff, cranberry sauce, homemade pies and desserts. They did not eat one single bite!!! I was livid!!! 5 and 6 and wouldn’t even touch mac n cheese because they saw me put butter in it! Over the course of this year I’ve given them the choice to eat what i make or they don’t eat. Now they eat everything! You have to stick with it though.
You can’t send her to bed without food? Does she have a medical condition other than mama wrapped around her fingers? In the kindest way i can, of course it hurts when they say we’re mean, or we’re this or that, but you know why as the parent and adult you make the choices you make. You just have to put your foot down.
We don’t make special meals in our house for the kids if they say they don’t like it. I guess you can say we are the mean parents and tell them that if they don’t eat then they will eat that meal for the next meal. We don’t make anything that they have never liked or wouldn’t like. My 5 year old is trying to push her boundaries and try to say she doesn’t like something but in reality its her trying to get up from the table and go play or watch a movie instead of eating. We don’t allow her to get up before everyone is done anymore and make sure she eats atleast a little of everything on her plate.
Are there foods you don’t like? I am a grown woman who is a picky eater as well as my son. We make hum try the foods but if he doesn’t like them then he just doesn’t and I won’t force him to eat them. He has his own taste buds and what I like he may not. So yeah usually do fix him a separate meal of something he likes. I don’t want to be forced to eat things I don’t like or be told to go hungry because my taste buds are different than others. Why would I do that to my child?
Do not make her a separate meal… both of my boys were the same way an after a cpl nights of going to bed hungry an getting sick the next morning they learned to eat what I make bc they didnt want to get sick again from not eating. They are now 11 and 13 an eat everything I make.
I don’t eat what I dont like so why should your child? I have one extremely fussy eater out of 4 children, he doesn’t eat fruit, veg, pasta, rice he only eats chicken, nutella or shreddies, only eats plain crisps but hes never ill, does extremely well in school. The amount of battles I had with him were unreal, he went to bed numerous times hungry as I wouldn’t give in, that just makes me a terrible mum sending her child to bed hungry because they won’t eat food that I like but they don’t.