How can I get my baby to sleep in their own bed?

my son is 11 months old but still cosleeps with us in our bed. (yes, i know some people’s feelings/opinions on cosleeping, but this works for us, and we are 100% safe about it) I don’t mind it bc I love the baby snuggles as much as the next momma, but how do I get him to sleep by himself? He’s getting better at sleeping on his own in our bed but will only go for 20-45 ish minutes in his crib by himself before he stirs and realizes I’m not there, then wakes up and starts crying. Any and all tips/advice welcome!!! Thank you

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my baby to sleep in their own bed? - Mamas Uncut

My son is 6 and stilm sleeping in the same bed as me too. Halp :rofl::rofl:

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You can’t lol… I slept with our son from around this age and now that he’s 3, nearly 4 years old he won’t budge lol…

Mine is 17 mo and still co sleeping but I have a feeling once we have an extra room for him he will sleep better on his own

My eldest I co slept and he slept in my bed until he was around 6/7 years old. :joy:

Lmao idk. My kids only sleep in a diff bed when I had a new baby😂

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Currently in the same boat with a 2 and 4 year old, I’ve tried everything. I play musical beds every night to sleep with one till she falls asleep then on to her brother then finally get to my bed around 11-12 to get maybe 3-4 hours before they realize I’m not there anymore.

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There’s no such thing as “safe” cosleeping… consider this punishment for being a crappy parent :rofl:

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Start with day naps in his bed, then slowly work on nights

I dunno but whenever you figure it out let me know please. - Mom of a 2 year old bed hogger

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Put him in his room with something (clothing, blanket, etc) with your scent on it near by.

Start putting him in his crib when he’s napping

You keep putting him in his own bed and don’t give in

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He’s 11 months old and already knows how to control you… lol you just need to STOP entirely… ya can’t expect an 11 month old baby to understand why it’s ok one night but is being forced into a different bed on another night. Just gotta bite the bullet and deal with the consequences of letting your child “get better” at sleeping in bed with you…

Put a bed right next too yours and every few nights move it a few feet

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I coslept with my son until he was 4.5 months old. I started introducing the crib during naps starting at 3.5 months, and now he’s 7 months and sleeps all by himself.

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I use a type of cry it out method. You put them to bed, let them cry of 5 minutes then go in and lay them down, next let it go for 10 minutes. Don’t exceed 25 minutes. I had both of mine trained by this method in 2 nights

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Good luck. I tried everything i could but im still sharing a bed with my almost 3 yr old :woman_facepalming: he will stay up all night and scream if i try the cry it out method. Hes stubborn. Mama needs sleep…so i figured when hes ready he will go to his own bed.

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Try to sidecar The crib to your bed.

My son just turned one, we predominantly bedshare. I have started putting him to sleep for naps in his bed and will start him at night sleeping in his bed but bring him back to our bed when he wakes up a couple hours later. I will also sometimes sleep next to him in his room for naps/ bedtime. I don’t want to create a conflict, so I try to slowly establish him sleeping on his own. But I’m gonna confess, I’m savoring all the night time cuddles. He is growing up before my eyes!

We put the crib/pack n play in my room next to my bed. Then if he woke up I’d touch him and talk to him softly without getting him out of bed. He’d eventually go back to sleep. We then slowly started moving up to napping in their own rooms, and eventually them into their own bed all the time. Both (11&3) still sneak in sometimes but it’s few and far between

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Just enjoy it. I loved when my child slept with us. We just went to her bed to have sex.

at this point you’ve gotten him so used to sleeping with you that it’s going to be a headache to get him used to sleeping in his own crib. you’re just going to have to suffer through it and keep putting him back in his crib or he’ll never get out of your bed

I feel really sorry for mums like yourself because you completely do what baby needs (to be close to you at all times) but it ends up being a mammoth task getting baby/toddler/child to transition to more independent sleeping. My advice would be baby steps. Maybe start with day naps as it is less sleep deprivation for yourself.

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I have been there. It might be a safety issue. I wish I could give you some advice but my boys didn’t sleep in their beds all night till they were 8yrs. Wish you all the best.

5 years of co sleeping and he can stay in my bed until he’s ready to sleep by himself. They’re only little for so long

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I started mine off by making him take his naps in his bed. Then after a week I just started putting him in his bed. Sometimes he still fusses but for the most part he just lays down with his cup and goes to sleep.

Well if he will go for that long in his crib when he then wakes up go in and comfort him but don’t pick him up. You are going to probably have to do this for a number of nights and neither of you may sleep much but eventually he will get used to sleeping by himself. As long as he is fed and doesn’t need to be changed he knows that crying will get you to pick him up so he has to learn to soothe himself.

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Persistence is key Mama!!!

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I’m not trying to be rude but there’s absolutely no way you’re 100% safe about cosleeping. You could try to put the crib next to your bed until he gets used to sleeping in it then move to his own room if that’s your goal

Hell, up until my son turned 14, he still slept in my bed every once in awhile lol

Move crib to your room, start there. Move the crib slowly toward the child’s room until finally in their own room. It may be a slow process but it can work.

I agree at some point you may have to choose your bed or his at this young age. I think cosleeping is great and healthy but mixing it back and forth will create some confusion. Routine is great for this age. Maybe you could put him in his bed for naps and your bed at night if you’re not done cosleeping, but do it like that daily. A sound machine can help keep him stay asleep longer. Can begin using it in your room when he sleeps with you at night and then for naps also. A lot of people are suggesting CIO, please do your own research as well on this. It can be very traumatic and please consider how we might feel. They are little people after all, with their own feelings, they just don’t have the ability to express them yet, and there are gentle methods out there. You could search gentle parenting FB groups and the internet for “gentle” methods for independent sleep.

Sleep with his blanket for a few days so it smells like you . Sometimes all they need is to smell you

Put him in his crib for naps and leave toys in there(only completely safe ones he can’t swallow or anything else, just common sense with it). Make it feel like a safe place. After he is comfortable taking naps there, he will likely get used to it. I used a CIO method after that. It was fine when he was an only child, but after that I was pregnant and miserable sleeping with him and knew it had to change before my daughter was born. We introduced her to the crib right away, and never had issues with getting her to sleep in her crib, same with my 3rd.

I know many people say you can’t spoil a baby, but my son is 12 and you can definitely tell he was babied more than anyone else. I won’t complain about it, because he is super sweet. But my girls are much more independent.

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Perhaps try giving him a shirt that you’ve worn to snuggle? If he has your scent near him, he may sleep better… worth a shot?

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I agree with others to start with naps and start there
Then when you are ready to tackle night time comfort and soothe baby but don’t put baby in your bed, keep in child’s room and crib so not to confuse baby.

I laugh at mums who say Oh baby loves sleeping with me :joy::rofl: no no get it right its you not the baby Lmao and when the baby gets older its not so cute anymore is it Ahahaha good job :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes::laughing: take my advice never put a baby in your bed Lol

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My son was around that age when I moved him to a twin bed in his own room. Then I laid with him in there. Baby gate at the door so he can’t get out and wander

Calm music, toys, monitor.

Start a big boy bedtime routine. Something different to what happens now. Then settle him in his own bed and keep putting him back there everytime he gets up. Stay calm. Reinforce the big boy bed now. Please don’t leave your son to cry it makes it harder to settle him back down and he’ll hate his bed.
It will take time and it may be difficult . Youll no doubt be exhausted but really he needs his own bed

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Mine’s 5 now. I’ll let you know how I did it just as soon as I get her out of my bed. :laughing:

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Get a really good bedtime routine, bath, bottle, rocking and snuggling in the dark and then bedtime

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Me and mama started out by getting him comfortable being in his own room with toys and his own tv. Then we started putting him in timeout in his room so he recognized that was his space. Now we put him to bed when we want to but if we tell him to go lay down he goes to his own room to lay down

He’s 11m and has co slept his whole life. You don’t get him to sleep on his own at this point without him crying it out. When he’s more verbal it might be a little easier but not much.

11 months old wow ! I say there is nothing wrong with that if he is 11 years old then you have a big problem. My son sleeps with us until he was 5 years old then we brought him to chose his own bed then he sleeps by himself :pray:

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I wish I could help. Start now, my kids co slept with us for the first 5 years of their lives I e had a kid in my bed for more than 10 years

Night light was a huge must for our daughter. Sound machine. And I upgraded her bed to a toddler bed because I would have to lay with her until she fell asleep. Established a routine. She would go do super simple for her dad but for me she would always fight it. She did well for a while and now she is back co sleeping with us. (She is 3)

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This is so so so hard. Honestly harder then weaning IMO.
With my eldest I did the Ferber method (cry it out). It was brutally hard for about 3 nights and then it got a lot easier. Still took months before she was willing to go back to sleep without crying for a few min.
With my youngest, she’s almost 2…. I still nurse her to sleep in her bed and then sneak away. She then comes to my room about 3-6 hours later and I’m planning on weaning her in a couple weeks. The cry it out with her did not work at all unfortunately…. Whatever you decide to do you have to give it at least a week to see results.

Give him a small teddy bear or thicker sleep sack

You started the habit and have to break it. Start with naps, night lights, sound machines, etc

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Going through the same thing at 15 months! :woman_facepalming:t2:

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The adaption period to sleep in another bed takes time and more nights up and about.
With my first I stopped co sleeping when she weaned. I really needed to get more sleep. We she moved to her room I would stay with her until she fell asleep. During the night if she woke up, I would not let her into my bed and stay with her until she fell asleep in her bed again. It took many nights up and about, but it worked. Days later she slept through a whole night!
When I changed the sheets I would take the pillow case and sleep with it over one night so it would have my smell on it.
Fast forward, my second boy is now 3, still co sleeping and after his birth she wants the same attention. Now I have 2 instead of one.
Going to have to gain the courage to do this all over again with both. But I do believe my oldest will sleep in her bed much more easily now. She does insist on sleeping with me when she has nightmares she can’t forget.
It’s always nice to have a safe place for a child to go to when they have nightmares too.
Tough but possible! Take on night at a time and don’t give up when you feel it’s not working. Keep at it, you will break the habit. :wink:

My daughter coslept
From newborn to 2 as she was breastfed until then!

Consistency is key, talk to him let him know what ur doing and put him into his own bed… even sleeping… or if you start by putting him into a playpen beside ur bed that helps too cuz you can also be anxious and worry n babe can feel that

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My son used this method they called " crying it out" so many minutes at a time, im sure you can Google it, I don’t know the exact minutes they did intermittently, but it worked. "CRYING IT OUT":blush:

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Sleep training. Google it! It works

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Crying is ok. Baby isn’t used to being alone at this point so if you want him to sleep in his own bed. Just go in there tell him you love him and night night. And walk out. It’ll take a good week and he will cry alot but he is ok mama

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Am I the only mom that has never co slept? My kids went straight to a crib and have stayed in their beds since. I have a 16yr old and 5yr old twins. Sleep trained em all. It can be done mamas. Stay strong

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My daughter just turned two and just started sleeping in her own bed. My other daughter is 12 and starting sleeping in her bed when she was 5

Cry it out. Obviously check on them and comfort them but after a little bit they’ll figure it out and be okay

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I honestly waited until my son was 14 months. He did beautifully the second night (first night was tough)

Start with nap times and then once you get those under your belt work on night time. but with mine it was easier if I made sure they had a good bath a full belly snuggle time before bed and laid them down in their room that was dark and quiet and calm

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There’s nothing “100% safe” about co sleeping. Just saying :woman_shrugging::roll_eyes:

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This is honestly why I never got into co-sleeping, didn’t want to deal with breaking the habit. Although my daughter does come into my room in the morning which I don’t mind

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I used the cry it out method or sleep training with my daughter. She never coslept with me unless it was nap time but I used it mainly to get her to fall asleep and stay asleep in her crib throughout the night. She was a year old and it took about 3 days but it worked. Google it for the specifics.

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My son absolutely hated his crib. We got him a toddler bed a put it next to our bed. We started off with naps and then night time, he did great. The first few nights were exhausting because he would get up and climb in our bed and I would put him right back in his, but he got the hang of it pretty quickly.

I co slept rather than have my babies cry and cry. It was heartbreaking to me and everyone slept better.

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My daughter still co-sleeps with us sometimes… I find that if you dress them warm at night like in a sleeping bag suit she can sleep for the whole night. However there are times she’ll wake unzip herself and calls out mummy or daddy and climb into our bed. GL. Also we don’t mind her co-sleeping with us when she wants too.

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You just need to crack on and not give in… could be a few restless tiring nights … plonk him in fed and ready for bed… if he crys go in pat his back or if you use a dummy put that back in and leave the room… repeat till asleep😂

Put a Large teddy bear dressed in one of your tops beside him after he’s asleep.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my baby to sleep in their own bed? - Mamas Uncut

I do slept with my kids until they were 2. They went to their own bed on their own.

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And btw I understand cosleeping. Helps with milk production, and those snuggles are to die for! One day they will be too big :sob:

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This is my life lol i have no advice my daughter is nearly 2 and still cosleeps she has refused to sleep in her cot since the beginning and now if i even walk near it she screams the house down :woman_facepalming:

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So we went through the exact thing! My baby slept on my chest til he was 3 months old because his reflux was horrible. He hated the bassinet and would only nap in his swing, next to me or occasionally in the crib so our pediatrician gave us a tip that really worked!
We would do our bed time routine about 30 minutes earlier than usual (unless he seemed too awake still lol) and then we would lay him down and turn on his mobile above him. He would obviously start to cry so we would let him cry for little less than a minute. Pick him up, soothe him and try again. By the 3rd night he was in his crib! We did not let him cry for more than a minute although his dr said no longer than 5 minutes. They need to learn to self soothe so it is important but you dont want to traumatize them either! It takes work but its worth it! Also we noticed he would sleep almost immediately on our tempurpedic mattress so we splurged and got him his own tempurpedic mattress for his crib and hes been sleeping through the night since! Hes 2 now :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Routines work! My little one slept in our room (bed for a while and then pack n play in our room). Implementing a routine worked so well. Bath, book, bed…something like that. Do the same thing every night at the same time. It will take a week or two but don’t give up.

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Little steps farther and farther away. Put his bed in your room close to you, then slowly move it away form your bed and needing to be there. But as some others have said you may have to let him cry it out a little, but he will learn to self soothe.

Put his crib by ur bed yea momma u may have to let him cry it out. Get him to sleep then put him in the crib

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U put him to sleep in his room read a book have the same routine every night and dont give in everytime he comes in ur room u put him back in his bed… U can also do a chart put a sticker everytime he sleeps in his bed every whole week he gets a toy or prize…

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I used the tee shirt that I had on that day something with my smell on it help

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Dr. Spocks advice was if they are crying and I mean CRYING after 20 mins then you go soothe them. Do this every nap and nighttime they will eventually fall asleep on their own. It’s up to you to train them they don’t train themselves!

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“A baby must wake up where they fell asleep” this advice helped me so much! If they fall asleep on you, that’s where they expect to wake up. Cry it out method 10000% words. (Ferber method). I know it’s not for everyone. But 2 days of misery and my kid sleeps 12 hours a night and goes right into his crib wide awake. Good luck!

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Mine slept with me and his dad Until he was about 10, now he don’t even want me in his room so it’s a trade off LOL

Try putting a playpen next to you bed and start by letting him sleep in there. When he is sleep then try to move him. Or just let him sleep in your room in a different bed. This way he will get used to sleeping alone. We did that with my son. But I went from bassinet to playpen next to my bed.

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We did the cry it out method (pediatrician recommended) it was tough, I’m not going to lie.
After about 20 minutes, I went in and comforted my son, rubbed his back, but I did not pick him up! And then I left the room, I kept doing that and he eventually went to sleep. (I would recommend on starting on a Friday night, it’s going to be a very long sleeping few days for you) by the next few days, it was less and less of getting up and crying and he would just fall asleep or be so exhausted from crying he just fell asleep.

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My little one is 5. He didn’t start sleeping in his own bed until he was almost 4. Even now he still sneaks in half the night for cuddles. I don’t mind it. It won’t last forever, so I soak up all the snuggles

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I never had this issue with my daughter. Although, my daughter is super attached to me. In american culture, as soon as the baby is born, the baby gets his own room already. In Asian culture, baby sleeps with the mom. Babies outgrow from this, but takes years. One day, i put my daughter to her room in her own bed then she slept fine. She was 3. As soon as she wakes up she comes to me and lay down for a bit and snuggle with me. :purple_heart:

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Slowly integrate a new routine that adds his bed in. I added in a nightly book after bath time and a song. I also gave her a Snuggie that I sprayed my body spray on…. But my daughter was also 3.5 when I finally put her in her own room :grimacing:

My little boy is five and still sleeps in our bed! :joy:. He’s so scared to death to sleep in his own room.

Mine’s nearly 3 and she still is in my bed :joy: she has her own room but refuses her bed at all costs, but where I’m a single mum and I’m heavily pregnant now with my son I need to get her into her bed otherwise I am never going to have a bed by myself lol :thinking:

Consistency, consistency, consistency Mom. Get him his own bed, make a big deal about it too, a reward. Pick out sheets that he likes, but a nightlight for nearby, maybe some glow sticks ($ store- stock up) for when you put him to bed. When he gets up & goes to your bed, this is where your changed behavior counts, walk him back to his bed. Tuck him in, kisses & maybe another glow stick. Maybe get a “reward chart” going for how many nights in a row he sleeps in his own bed & follow thru on a reward. I know it sounds silly, but make the change a very very positive one. It might take a few weeks or maybe only a few nights but Momma be strong. You got this :purple_heart: and eventually your privacy back.

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Try to put a stuffed animal snuggled up with lil one, I used a noise maker with the white noise(or the heartbeat ) playin. It seemed to relax my kids.

Don’t put them in you bed to start with. Now your bed is his own bed.

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Mine is 5 and still in my bed :joy:

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Maybe sing a lullaby

Just a matter of you not caving in, same thing with breaking them of the bottle or any other habit you are the parent keep taking them back to their room they will eventually understand, once my baby’s know and understand that they have their bed then every now and then they are allowed in my bed because I want them or they are scare and they go back the next day no problem

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Put a shirt or something of yours with your scent on it in his crib with him

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They are babies dor such a short time, just enjoy the time you have. I promise you one day you will long for those snuggly nights