How can I get my boyfriends mom to accept me?

Me and my boyfriend have been living together for a year now and we’ve been together almost two years. His mom hates me and doesn’t think that I’m good enough for him. I’ve tried to bond with her but nothing works and she views me as nothing but a toy to him. It doesn’t help that my boyfriend is a huge mommas boy to the point where he doesn’t listen to me at all he had to ask his mom to “confirm” I’m right about everything. A little story for reference, one day she came by the house and waited outside the door to listen to us as we were arguing (we didn’t know she was outside) and when he walked her outside after the visit she told him that I needed to respect him more. We were arguing about him quitting his job when we didn’t have the money saved up at the time for him to transition to a different one. This woman has no respect or boundaries for our relationship and he just lets her get away with it and I’m so tired of it. His sister on the other hand loves me and is so nice and supportive she’s the only reason I haven’t left the situation yet I feel like I can’t handle the drama anymore and it’s only gonna get worse as time goes on. How can I get her to accept me?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my boyfriends mom to accept me? - Mamas Uncut

run. moms always gonna be an issue. She’ll never accept you. save yourself anymore time & heartbreak.

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If he is a mama boy he’s not going to change. Accept it or leave. Probably going to get worst. If I were you I would pack my bags

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She’s toxic. You dont need her approval and very well may never have it cuz she sounds horrid.

Just keep doing you. Try not to have her actoons phase or stunt you

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She will never accept you

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You won’t,no woman would be good enough for her son…run run run it will never get better

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Dont stay just because of the sister. Run away as fast as you can. Once a mamas boy always a mamas boy.

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RUN! Clearly he doesn’t respects you nor gives you your place.

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It’s the worst when you are with a mama’s boy you will never be number 1 , find someone who respects u fully and loves his mom but at a disdtsnce, and that accepts u.

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I have a beautiful daughter in law who I love like my own as long as my son happy that’s all that matters I never get involved if they argue

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Your not in a relationship with her so you don’t need to be excepted by anyone but yourself and your partner maybe the sister can have a chat with the mum and get her to back tf off

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Sounds like she’s already got her mind made up…if u have tried and it didn’t work then more than likely it will never…I bet she’s one of those people who will never be satisfied with anyone for her “baby”

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She won’t…And he doesn’t have you as priority. You will never win. Don’t stay in a relationship for the sister. That’s ridiculous.

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Don’t… I’m in the same boat and I don’t need no approval from her. Just thankfully she lives interstate we don’t see her too often

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If your relationship with your bf needs to end, that doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship with his sister does, as long as you can keep those relationships separate. If it isn’t possible to maintain a friendship with his sister outside of your relationship with him, then you have to decide if you’re willing to continue to put up with this. If your bf isn’t willing or able to put up and enforce boundaries with his mother, then it’s going to be up to you to decide if it’s still worth maintaining either relationship or neither.

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I dated a mummy’s boy once was awful it’s like he didn’t have his own mind what mummy said went, sad he would drop everything to go and see her he spent more time there then with his won family, I agree it ain’t going to get better prob worse

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You can’t. Infact, he may even be manipulated by her. You should honestly sit down and talk with him about their relationship and tell him what you see.

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My mother in law didn’t always like me. We always got in to it always bumped heads but as time went on we got extremely close and she became my 2nd mother and she would take my side over her sons. Just takes time. Just stand your ground show her your not going any where! It’s been two years almost since my mother has passed and I miss her everyday! Before she passed away she told me how lucky she was to such a great daughter in law and that she couldn’t have picked someone better for her baby. And like I said I swear she couldn’t stand stand me for the first few years

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Leave him don’t try to get her acceptance because it won’t ever happen

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Unfortunately,there nothing,nothing at all you will ever do to get her to like you ,if she never liked you in the first place,it will never happen ,you cannot force love,or respect it’s either you accept it and stay or choose you over these people and check out quick for your own sanity.

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You can’t. To her, no one will ever be good enough. Personally, I’d have words with my son respecting his girl if he ran to me over every fight. He’s an adult, he should act like it.

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You can’t . She won’t . She rules him and once you completely submit she will rule your too . Tell little boy peep to run back to mama and move forward.

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Yeahhhhh… hunni I’d keep the sister as a friend & ditch the rest!
From experience I can honestly say that mummy won’t EVER accept any female for her baby boy, & he won’t ever grow the balls to tell her to take a long hike :woman_shrugging:t3:
Best get out now, & rebuild your life & self- confidence.
Best of luck :+1:

Why are you still together??

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You never will. There is a tv series about this “I love a mommas boy” not pretty and you will never win…RUN FAST

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She won’t, just like I will never accept my son’s girlfriends when he will grow up. Once you have a son, you will understand. :rofl:

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You won’t be able to get someone to accept you don’t bother.

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I’ve known my current gf for 28 years. She lived 10 doors down from me my whole life and we grew up together as friends. Then her and I both were divorced and now have been together 2 years. NOW her parents want nothing to do with me (we’ve been cool since I was a little girl) but because now their daughter is with a woman nah no good. They told her to get back with her ex husband who smokes crack every night and disappears for weeks and doesn’t work or pay bills. Nah fuck the girl we know.

Girl I know exactly how you feel my husbands parents didn’t accept me for shit they insulted me and disrespected me left and right behind my back and to my face saying that I was a slut and a whore they even made up a rumor that I was screwing the neighbor for car parts which was bull shit. I am very loyal to my husband and I love him very much. But at the time, he didn’t respect me either he had put me down and kept calling me names too. At one point I had had enough and we did break up. They saw what it did to him and realized where they fucked up and he realized where he fucked up. It took 4 months for me to come back to him. And honestly it was the best decision I ever made because now we are happily married and his parents for the most part accept me now.

Unfortunately she will never accept you. It’s best to end it now before you get anymore invested.

I am the parent that doesn’t like my adult child’s boyfriend. He is not good enough for her, brings her down as a person and just isn’t worth her time.

Not saying he’s a bad person just not the right person for her.

Maybe his mom just doesn’t think you’re right for her son. You can’t fix or change her perspective. Either you can leave the situation or put up with her opinions.

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She won’t its time to move on

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This is my opinion, there are so many other wonderful men out there, I’d drop him. You aren’t in a relationship with him. You are dating both of them. Can you imagine if we’re married to him and then had children. She would be a nightmare and he would run to his mom every time there was an issue.

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You can’t force her to like you even you did everything perfectly. But honestly run from a “partner” who is more in a relationship with his mom than you. You may love and respect him but he doesn’t love and respect you.

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Give him the choice. Either he sets boundaries with his mum or you walk away but, mean it.

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Grl :man_running: fast get out now he won’t change and she’ll always be in the way unless he puts his foot down and stop dragging her into your relationship

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…and you’re still with him because?
His mother will make your life a living hell and he’ll allow it…probably even eventually help her. R. U. N

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Either you stop caring or get rid of him. However, decide whether you are willing to put up with him deferring to mommy.

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You don’t need her acceptance and if hes not gonna respect you and chose what his mum says over what you and him argue about get rid of him nothing’s ever gonna change it’s gonna get worse for you especially if she is not willing to even to even be A supportive mother in law

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You can’t dump the guy keep sister as friend. But since he’s as you say a mama’s boy he will never change. Your better off without him.

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Tell her to her face. :woman_shrugging:t4: Have this conversation with HER. And then deal with your man for not sticking up for you.

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Lord I tried 5 years; he said we should date others. His mom was a big bully.

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She’s got issues that aren’t even to do with you. If he’s grown & has his own place & you are good to him she can kiss your bootie imo.

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Nida G Stone I have a son but I disagree mostly because (unlike you apparently) I view my son as my child and not my future boyfriend in training. Seriously, be less creepy. He’s your son, not your partner.

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Dump momma’s boy on her doorstep

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You, my lady, are in for a bumpy road ahead, if you are blind to a red flsg as being a “mamas boy!” … The sh*t you’ll need to go through to be accepted would not be worth it. Get a man! I said a masculine assertive confident intelligent man!

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I mean you can leave him and still be friends with the sister. Just make a clean break.

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Unfortunately for you, that’s never going to change. Picture yourself married to this guy with kids and him and his mother making decisions for your family. That’s your future. You can still be friends with his sister, but mom and son will never respect you, if you stay in this relationship.

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Im in the same boat so run as far as you can. This will never end and its gonna end my relationship because this man is a mentally abusive POS that’s so far up his moms @$$ idk how he breathes! It’s ridiculous!

He won’t change, I had a similar relationship and he ALWAYS chose mummy over me and even our son. Get out while you can

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Try to over look her…if she hasn’t excepted you by now …she never will. Be best if you just left this relationship…his Mommies baby and that my dear is what he is…not grown up…

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She won’t. You’re competition to her and she’s used to controlling him. She’s already planting the seeds trying to change his mind that you’re not good enough by continually pointing out your flaws. Run.

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It’s not going to get any better he’s already letting mom walk all over you and who will continue do you want a life like this put money away and walk away as soon as you can

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I was in the exact situation you are in with my Ex-fiancé. He was a mommas boy and she totally disrespected me on many occasions. Two examples are:

  1. I was brushing his daughters hair and his mom snatched the brush out of my hand and told me use the other.
  2. I was in the shower and his daughter was in the kitchen with my his mom eating her lunch that I made her. When his daughter wanted more water to drink his mom came upstairs and into the bathroom (there was no lock) and proceeded to pull back the shower curtain and told me I need to get out and get his daughter some more water. I stood there naked, shocked and humiliated. I got out and did what she asked and then quickly finished my shower. He never believed me when I would tell him what was going on. Mind you I moved from Cali to Pittsburgh to be with him. I had no family or friends there. The only time he believed me was when his 5 year old told him that her Nana did not want us to get married. She eventually won and he called of our engagement and told me not to come home when I was in the hospital after having a minor surgery. It will never change and you can’t make her like you if she has already made up her mind even though she is wrong. Really think about it because dealing with that for the rest of your life is going to be hard and always cause problems between you and your s/o. Sorry for the long response.
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Leave. You can’t have a good relationship with a mamas boy.

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I WOULD BEmoving on she will never accept you , an he will never say anything to his Mother ,WALK FAST …:yawning_face::yawning_face::yawning_face::smiley::rose:

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Leave him. Their are three in your relationship and he wants her more than you.

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You’re not married to him leave . Unless you want to marry his mom

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Run… don’t waste any more of your precious time with someone that can’t put you first or even see what is going on

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The problem is HIM!!! He doesn’t trust in you & doesn’t set his mother straight. You deserve better. WALK away NOW. It won’t get better!!!

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He won’t change and mummas hold on tightly more to the sons than daughter

Ask her? Have a raw honest conversation with her. From personal experience though it’s really not worth the agg when you haven’t got the partner sticking up for you

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I’d run! You may like his sister but your not in a relationship with her so it’s definitely not a reason to stay around he needs to grow up a little

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He needs to grow up, he’s a man child.
It’s no wonder his mother feels the need to protect him like he’s 2.
You can sit down and have a frank, respectful but honest conversation with her and ensure you assert your boundaries and stick to them.
Or you can accept the behaviour and forever have to deal with it from both of them.

I dealt with this when I was younger. It never got better, it actually got much worse.

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Your options are to accept things the way they are and know that they are not going to change or to decide that your life and your self-respect is worth more than that and move on

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If you don’t stop it or leave it’ll get worse trust me

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You can’t …let her be miserable and enjoy your relationship

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It’s not worth it. Bounce!

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Trust me it will never get better get out I know from experience

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You’re boyfriend needs to tell his mum to back off but being a mummas boy he probably won’t! I would have a chat with him and tell him to sort his mum out or leave him,the situation won’t change !

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Get out now you can do better and you will find the love you need run now will not get any better

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There’s nothing you can do either she will or won’t and honestly they both sound very toxic you need to lay some ground rules down and if you aren’t respected then leave if he cares he’ll open his eyes but if he doesn’t then you haven’t really lost anything

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Don’t take it personal most mothers will feel this way , they want a version of themselves for there son or for those mothers who lived a great wyld life they will cherish the good girl they bring home thanking God she’s nothing like her

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Don’t waste your time. Make him stand up for you. Tell him that it’s not right. Let him know that she can’t push you guys around anymore. Once you set boundaries and he tells her she’ll probably around less and less. If he won’t then it’s time to leave.

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Run. He will never change he will always put his mother first and she will never accept you.

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You can’t make her do anything. What you can do is let your partner know that having his mum encroach on your relationship is a hard boundary for you. Someone who does not respect your boundaries is not someone you should be with.

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The real question here is WHY are you accepting him?

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My partner (now ex) were together for 7yrs before I got pregnant. It got much worse after that. Run sweetheart, you deserve better

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She won’t as long as he let’s her get away with it. I wld leave I knw easier said then done but it will be an on going problem

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They don’t have any boundaries and you’re fighting a losing battle! Why the heck should you have to win ANYONE over? Be yourself, if they can’t accept you then they’re not your people.
Your man should be sticking up for you and if won’t then it will never change.

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You don’t need ANYONE’S acceptance…she has the problem not you…let her deal with it…but while she’s busy fighting her own demonds. However serious talk with your partner…if that don’t work…well you need to choose your own happiness wishing you well

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The Mama’s boy part says it all… Lmao. No one will be good enough except for who she chooses for her son. You aren’t it. Get before you do get knocked up and have to deal with that shit till she dies.

Ohhhh :joy::joy::rofl::rofl::woman_facepalming: He will either learn to leave his momma, who CLEARLY has zero respect for you OR him, alone and put her in her place orrrrrr this is what you have to deal with for the rest of your life if you marry him. :woman_shrugging: It don’t matter if years down the road after you have children she is nicer to you, talks to you everyday, and tells you she loves you, she doesn’t! She feels this way about you now, she will feel this way about you forever. And it’s sad. You would think more MIL’s would want to be as close to their children’s spouses as possible. But sadly they do not. What they don’t understand is when you make a point to have a bond with your children’s spouses, you get to be even closer to the family your children create. They will WANT to come see you and spend hours at your house doing nothing but spending time together. But again, not all of them care about that. If they have a troubled past with their own MIL’s, chances are they will repeat it as if it’s a life goal of theirs instead of being the one to choose not to repeat history. Oh and BTW if your boyfriend ever does put her in her place, yall have kids, and yall don’t go around her hardly ever, you will be accused of trying to split up the family and hating everyone. She won’t look at her own actions, it will all be you, you, you. Just a heads up. :roll_eyes: Sorry to be so blunt, but the more you know the easier your life will be. At this point you have to decide if you love him enough to ignore her for the rest of your life, or leave him.

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Won’t get better. He’s part of the problem. If you argue hell be telling her, but his version. When it’s like it it doesn’t get better. When kids involved it gets worse so its pointless he’ll never let the apron strings go.

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It’s a hard one with a mommas boy, 90% of the time the boy will side with his mother, even if he knows she’s wrong. No one will ever be good enough for her son and she will happily destroy any of his relationships if she wanted to, if after 2 years he is still not supporting you and he’s listening to his mum more then you about your relationship then i doubt it will ever change,

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Haven’t had many issues with this I do know an issue came about and he was talking to his mom and all he said is you don’t want to make me choose because you won’t like it. I love my wife and choose her. Have only had a couple more issues but after refusing to come over things finally blew over and now she is civil and speaks to me again. By the way this year makes 22 years we have been married. He needs to stand up for you and put her in her place.

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Dump the bf and hook up with the sister :woman_shrugging:t5:

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It is not your problem but hers. Your boyfriend needs to put her in her place and if he does not well cut him to the curb. Once a Mommas boy it will always will be like that. It is unfortunate the umbilical cord is still attached.

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Dont waste your time he will always be a mamas baby

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Run like hell and don’t look back. I went through that for 47 years and it never got any better. He was an only child and a mommy’s boy

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Once a mama’s boy, always a mama’s boy. You are fighting a losing battle! You deserve better!

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I had the same thing happen to me . Now I know I am a guy and that may be a different thing but. My ex was the sane way would never lose. To me about anything . They were a huge mom’s girl and it is still haunting me to this day… so if I were you I would get out now.

RUN RUN RUN!! NO LOOKING BACK!! None of that will change until she is D E A D!! Trust me!!

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Find another place to live and move out on your own.

This never gets any better and I wouldn’t waste my time putting up with it.

You can always stay friends with the sister even if you split up with him.

Personally if he can’t respect YOU enough to stand up for you then leave now because it will never change.

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You don’t need her acceptance you are in a relationship with your boyfriend not her. If he’s a mummy boy then it will get worse

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Get out now! This won’t get better , it will get worse and when you have children, she will make your life a living hell.
I’ve read about these things.

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Im sorry. This will not change.

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His mother trained him to be her boyfriend at an early age. He’s her puppet and has no will of his own. The only way she might like you is if you become her glove puppet as well. She’s likely a narcissist. They love to control people. If it were me, I’d move on and find someone who has it in them to act like an autonomous person and adult.

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Run and do not look back

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