Move out. Contact social services and ask for a case worker to get care for your father. You could also find a charity/non profit that may be able to take him in as well. As for your brother I would give him tough love at this point. Move out and focus on the health and well being of yourself and your growing family.
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It’s time to do what’s best and move out. It will be hard and you can still help occasionally but you must do what’s best for your family. You can literally work yourself to death helping someone that refuses to help themselves. That combined with the negative comments are your signal to leave. Sadly your Dad doesn’t seem to want to get better. You can’t change that. Your brother doesn’t seem to want to improve his situation. You can’t change that either. Gather your family and your courage and move on. This isn’t the atmosphere you want to bring a newborn into. It can’t be good for your son either. Try to keep your departure drama and tear free. Call social services and see what else is available for your dad. He sounds depressed so a visit to the doctor may be in order. Don’t feel guilty and don’t exhaust yourself trying to SOLVE this problem. Only 2 people can solve it (i.e. your dad and brother) and they’re unwilling to try. Don’t take the verbal abuse. Move on and you can call and check on your dad. If you have time you could still take him to some appointments. It’s absolutely ok to remove yourself and your family from a toxic situation.
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Moving out is obviously not an option as you moved in for a reason.
As a mum, daughter, wife just take control. Control the home like you would your own. Make a list of duties for your brother.
He can put clothes into the machine, hang clothes, vacuum, sweep and mop, set the table and clear up.
You need to use his availability to the best you can. Dad is not in a good mental space. He needs counselling. Once he has a positive outlook things will change. It can’t be easy for him adjusting and he probably feels like a burden. He is also ill. Your brother needs to help him to the bathroom daily.
Have a good gentle discussion with everyone. Repitition is key. If you keep on talking gently everyday for 2 weeks I am almost certain that they would understand your position.
Good luck with the pregnancy.
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I’d be out of there do fast no matter if dad needs help or not stop over a few times a week n wear a haz mat suit 
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It is a hard situation…but I can play devils advocate here…everyone is coming down hard on the brother…what if he has severe depression and anxiety…that causes one to find it hard for everyday tasks…they become overwhelming…and his anxiety may hinder any attempts to find a job…he may panic attack when facing people…as one knows …job interviews are hard enough at best…add this and …the person can become even more depressed…I’m not saying this is his cases as she really doesn’t go into too much detail…he may need to see a psychiatrist…just an opinion
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He hasn’t washed his hair in years? Omg , I would run the heck outta there!
Get assistance from my aged care
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This is not an uncommon situation. Caregivers give so much and often get little to no appreciation. Until one
Is actually in this situation, one cannot imagine the toll it can take. It sounds like your father needs a skilled Nursing facility. This can be covered by insurance , but there may be a time limitation. If you do not have that option and still need to give care, there are state agencies that will provide respite care and ease your burden. Seek out an Elder care site. There are many ways to get help for your situation. There are also group home care facilities you can look into. These tend to be a bit more costly and may be covered by long term care insurance. If you do not have this kind of insurance, think about the assets your father has and how you can use them to him out. Now is the time to look into getting someone in your family designated as power of attorney for health care and financial decisions. Discuss this with your father and get his opinion on this. Making a trust may also be considered so things will go more easily when that time comes. I have gone through this with my parents and am currently navigating this with my husband. It appears to me that you are the responsible one in the family and may consider that job yourself. It will keep you from having family fights and having your dad taken advantage of by unscrupulous family members.
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Move out. Also, if your brother is just now 18 and was raised by someone who doesn’t even bathe, what do you expect? You are blaming the house on a child. Think about that! And “clean up after everyone”? You are 3 of 5 people! Your dad is disabled and your brother was clearly not raised to do any better.
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With a baby on the way and the description of non sanitary house, you should have moved a L O N G time ago.!!! If your brother is the “care giver”, he needs to be reported with elder abuse!
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It does not say how old your father is or if a veteran. Someone is already coming in so they got there somehow through a referral. Start there. There is more to this than mentioned
Brother needs to get a job!! I
I think social services can help.
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You already have a child living under these circumstances and bringing another child into this mix is not healthy! Can you get accommodation close enough to give a hand when needed but giving your family a much better life!
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Call senior services to help and take yor family and move out, do wht u can for yor dad, PRAY and let Jesus do his work as only he can do, PRAY 
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Care home for the father, kick the lazy thing out
I would try to get more information on social services, grants and more nursing care options for amputees and present him his options.Up to him to take it or not. Also try to sit down (you and your husband) with your brother about hygiene and getting a job. He is pretty young to be carrying these kind of responsabilities and maybe needs to know that someone cares about him too…
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Stop enabling them. It’s not that hard. Probably get your shit together sooner rather than later because zero chance social services will let you keep a baby there😅
Move out and take the dad with you or leave him and get him services to help him. I would never take care of a grown man. Husband brother etc… we all eventually take care of aging parents that is different… but do it on your terms. It’s sad people don’t help or have family values it usually falls to 1 person
Brother either needs to get a job or move out! He’s the free loader! I’d take my family and move out.
Get out now.and before your kid is tajen.youve tried puttinf others first,look where its got you.put you and you baby first abd get the hell out sweets
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Move out. You can not live in a home like that with your children. You can still help take care of your father, you don’t have to live there to do that.
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I suggest that you or your brother apply through the state to get paid as your father’s care giver. Use some of that money to pay for a cleaning service. And to be honest having 3 able bodied adults in a home that house SHOULD be clean! If you can’t keep it clean and they are disrespectful than I would move out.
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Get out and let them rot
Sounds like the brother needs help with his mental health. If he’s 18 now and dad has been sick for 3 years, he was 15 when the diagnosis came. No telling how long dad was sick before the diagnosis. That boy has probably shut down mentally.
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You need ur own house. Especially with a baby coming. You can get dad lots services and brother needs job or he needs to do all the work in the house for dad if that’s his job. Have dcf come in and help. They will make him keep it clean and safe for dad. But it’s time for you to get out with ur family.
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Did you move in to help or not? Free rent is a good deal. Yes get a home health program to assist with your dad but stop complaining about your decision
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You are in a toxic environment you need to get out of there for the sake of your baby. Dad should be in an assisted living or an aid could come in and clean and help with care. Options are available.
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Refer him to social services for mental health help and then make him move out. Sounds like someone has been taken care OF for so long they refuse to take care of themselves
You said your brother is 18 and if your dad isn’t clean he learned that from him. But you knew this so why move in.
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Prayers everything gets better
If your dad ever served in the military, also check for Veterans Administration (VA) benefits you can get for free. It may not be the most elegant nursing home care and require some bureaucratic paperwork (though sounds like your dad could handle it himself, or your brother could manage the online forms), but it’s better than what he’s living with now.
Does your brother have medical insurance? Your dad can put him on his insurance & he can get counseling and meds. Or he can get Medicaid, but might need to at least get part time work to qualify. Maybe he could drive for Uber & Lyft until he gets a real job. Sounds like he’s probably depressed, maybe thinking his dad’s life is what is in his future. Be sure he (and you, hubs & kid) has time with friends. Get everyone in counseling. This is a tough situation for everyone involved and online & phone options make it more affordable and accessible. There’s also the new mental health crisis hotline, 988.
A life coach could also help your brother find his way. If he’s his dad’s caregiver, no matter how little he does, he may feel like he can’t leave him alone to go work, so getting your dad outside care would free him to have a life and a job.
Do your dad & brother have friends and family outside of you? Be sure they spend time with others to keep their spirits up. If they feel like there is something to look forward to or have some joy in life, they might be more inclined to help you and themselves instead of feeling stuck in a rut of misery. Look up your dad’s old buddies and get them on the phone together, especially if he is existing vs. living and has given up on life (if he won’t help himself that’s what it sounds like).
Have others plan handicap friendly outings like river dinner cruises, wheelchair rolls through a garden, an accessible movie out, a play at an accessible theater, a funky dance or music concert. Some neighborhood parks have free summer performances that are handicap accessible. They can invite you for a meal and conversation at their house. Take a bottle of wine, sparkling cider or flowers & be sure to say thank you, as having y’all may be more work/accommodation than the usual dinner party. Or ask friends and other family (with you if you are up to it) plan a big celebration somewhere outside the house for birthdays, holidays, or whatever to help you find joy. Hope you are invited and able to attend other family get togethers where you don’t have to do all the work.
Check into any religious institution where you or family are members. They may be able to offer occasional free help like meal prep/delivery, rides, etc. in addition to spiritual support for your family. If it’s too much effort to go in person to services, many post them online live & on demand. If you don’t have a faith tradition, look into the Unitarian church to see if it might be a good fit. My church also has different groups/programs for people who are seniors, caregivers and disabled as well as young adults and families. Some religions or individual churches may offer scholarships or tuition assistance for your brother. Set up 529 plans for your children now so you can save tax-free for their post secondary educations. To earn a decent living they will need additional schooling and so far it can be quite pricey.
Look into non-church caregiver support groups in person and online for you & your brother. They can be great sources of advice & have been in your shoes. Also check out programs for seniors and disabled persons. They can offer fun & fellowship for your dad & provide a break where y’all can have time to yourselves.
I too would recommend getting everyone into their own appropriate housing: y’all in your own place, dad in nursing home. Your bro may be eligible for low cost subsidized housing if he isn’t yet able to make a decent living. That will give him time to get training and move up in his career until he can afford a decent studio apartment. Or maybe he can afford to move in with friends or housemates once he has an income. If he doesn’t step up to the plate about housework, his housemates will school him quickly!
Good luck! With he help of community, life will get better. And congratulations on your new little one.
Move. I know he’s your dad but he is refusing to help himself and you can’t force him. Your brother needs to pull his head out of his @ss and get a job to help, or apply to be paid to be your father’s caregiver and actually DO SOMETHING. I know dialysis patients and amputees that live completely normal lives. If he’s refusing to do so he should be in a nursing home and all this should not be on you.
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Make some rules and put up a calendar… Get your brother and family to help. Tell them don’t ask…
Put your dad in a nursing or assisted living and then you move out. If you can’t afford a lot I am sure you can find a low income one or the state may help since he is disabled technically. As far as your brother he is 18 he is legally an adult he can get a damn job and if he bitches tell him it’s not your problem he is an adult.
By all means continue to help your dad get to his dialysis appointments, etc but if you can financially afford to live elsewhere, you need to have your own place. Your dad and brother are extremely unlikely to change their ways.
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get out don’t look back you and husband leave soon as possible
You can give assistance to your father with cooking and cleaning and rides without living in his home. It sounds like your brother is in the role of caring for his needs as the live in help, albeit it sounds like he isn’t doing a bang up job of it. But he is a male and family and that is what your Dad prefers it seems. Especially because he has a nurse twice a week that could help him more with hygiene and he isn’t taking advantage of that any more than your offer to help anytime if he would just ask.
This situation doesn’t sound like it’s best for your family either.
So I think you’ll do more good and help without living there.
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That sounds like such a horrible and stressful situation. At some point, you need to take a step back and think about what’s best for your growing family and your safety. 
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This is the point where you and your hubby pack up, move out and live YOUR lives- you essentially became enablers without intending to do so- now become the “disablers” and let them figure it out- no guilt required, you’ve done ENOUGH-
Praying for you!
Just lost my grandfather cause of my mom letting him live in poor conditions please help him where u can an yes if he was in the service get him va help there too they will know where to help u in your state can tell u what to do just ask your state they can show u in the right way what to do …I pray for u an your family an the baby on the way the house seams like it needs all the cleaning it can handle I know where u coming from there tho I’m fixing up a place my self I I been working on it lil by lil for 3 years with what lil money I get every money but get him help where it’s needed
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Who’s calling you freeloaders? If it’s anyone outside the house then tell them off because they don’t know. If it’s your dad or brother then move because you’re clearly not appreciated. And if your dad’s benefits cover a nurse, then they should cover transportation as well. Don’t put all this on yourself & your little family. It’s not worth it.
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Time to leave. Don’t put ur family in jeopardy. U can still help
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Leave! Help your dad but don’t live there. Family is family forever and moving out could save your relationships which are FAR more important.
So let’s start with the fact your father has been sick for 3 years and your now 18 year old brother was apparently fully responsible for his care until you moved your entire family into the house 5 months ago.
Are you really surprised the house was a disaster? Or that your brother is enjoying someone taking care of him as well as your father for a change?
Yeah, your brother should at least get a job to contribute to the household but honestly, I don’t blame him if he’s a little bitter.
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Put up a white board.
Put the tasks on it.
Right your initials next to what you complete.
Take a picture of it.
Expand tasks as need be.
Include a date
Give it a name such as task list.
Make the plan, work the plan.
If they think you’re freeloaders you can move out and see how much they miss free labor.
I would move out and still go over to help with a few things. The situation you’re in sound toxic and while I understand dad needs helping, you also have to prioritize your marriage and your family.