He would last about 5 minutes in my house with that bullshit attitude.
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I always do more housework than my husband. Sometimes I do more. I mostly do the outside too.
However, my husband’s job is physically demanding. He works outside in horrible heat. I don’t. My job is easier. Kids are easier. I wouldn’t last 10 seconds doing his job 
For sure not in 120 deg weather.
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Demand his help or let your chores go
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Tell him if he doesn’t wantvto help then you are not going to do his dishes and laundry anymore. Its his house to not just yours.
I am a stay at home mom (14yrs) with two sets of twins. And my hubby is a fuel hauler, who works 12-14hr days. And guess what he comes home helps cook dinner, does dishes, laundry, helps maintain a pool, helps maintain 4 massive garden beds, he mows. He helps with everything. He says we made this home and family together, so we do it together. And if one fails we all fail. I’d say if your hubby can’t help, tell him Where the door is!
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Nope.
This is exactly why my marriage fell apart. I worked my behind off inside, outside, with the kids, working, grocery shopping, bills etc. He felt if he did some work on the outside like mowing etc this was enough. He once told me he didn’t do housework on his days off as it was his day off and he didn’t do it on the days he worked because he worked and was tired. I ran myself ragged and was not happy. So After 23 years, I was done completely.
Believe me I let dishes sit Etc. He could out wait me out and I would do them. I didn’t wash his clothes. He bought new ones and the pile got higher.
Your Husband needs to understand he can’t burn you out and expect you to be happy and healthy.
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Sounds like he doesn’t appreciate all that you do. I’d quit doing it. He should help out.
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As a mother of 5! As a grandmother of 4! I pretty much stayed home with all of them. My advice , hire yourself help! Get a part time maid. Part time chef. Part time laundry service. Part time anything else you need help with —- hand him the bill for said services. He will help you more after he sees that!
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Quit cooking for him, quit washing his clothes, stop cleaning his messes.
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My husband and I had an issue a couple times with this. Now he washes his own clothes, it takes a little off me and he cooks. If we have a special occasion come up we both tackle the house. I do have someone come in every so often and deep clean for me, which helps a ton.
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- NO ! -and he will miss you when your gone…
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Whatever dishes he uses leave them for him to wash… Dont wash his clothes… Dont cook for him… And dont clean up anything he makes dirty. Your responsible for the kids and them only hes old enough to take care of himself
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Stop doing his shit. Running around saying childish things, let him do it himself then. Ungrateful ass.
No you are not. I was experiencing similar behavior from my husband so now he does his own laundry and I no longer cook for him either and surprisingly I have been less stressed since. I work full time and he has a transportation business that he can basically make his own hours, he is usually home before me but do you think I ever come home to dinner already made… not.
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Well put it this way…if you own a business that you have a partner that is half owner and reaps all the benefits of said partnership equally, would you let that partner get away with doing less than 50% of the work? Probably not. So why do women get the lion’s share of the household responsibility when we only have 50% of the benefits of said partnership. Part of the problem is you are asking him to help you. This language insinuates that it is your responsibility and he is not responsible at all for it. No no no. Lay it out clear as day. He is a equal partner and he must do his share of the duties. Make a daily list together so it’s clear who is responsible for what on each of those days so that their is no confusion. If you make him responsible for his share instead of asking him for help, you will get a lot farther
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Honey… typically u can’t change a man like that with their mindset. But just know it shouldn’t be that way. My wife works 10 hrs atleast daily and usually 70 hrs a week atleast and she still gets up with the kids at times and cooks all the time and clean daily with me.
He could be making you do all the outside work too 🤷
Dishwasher and stop his laundry he grown let him do it he will get it when he has to my hubby did
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Tell him we ain’t in the 1940s where woman do everything inside the house while the men are out working. He lives there, he dirties the dishes, he has dirty clothes, etc. he needs to step up and help I wouldn’t put up with that.
Definitely not over reacting
Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking his meals and doing his dishes. See how he feels then
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Me n my bf work separate shifts so he watches the 2 boys (4 and 3 months old) then I watch them at night. He cooks large amounts of food on Sunday so I don’t have to worry about meals when I get home from work. I clean on the weekends. I do everything yes but he does the outside work n if I ask him to do it he does it. Relationships are an equal part, im lucky enough to have found one that helps out. He’s not the best cleaner so I do that but he cooks n mows
I can only imagine the daily chores you have to handle.
I am a working mom and when my 2 children are at home I can’t get anything done properly. You are exhausted and that will take it’s tole in the long run, especially with patience and later on physical symptoms come up. Let go…
You either accept the fact that you cannot so everything and lower your standards or get help from someone outside of your household.
If the husband doesn’t help out, forcing him will only make things worst. You will probably get into the “power struggle”.
(But I do agree men can help out a lot more around the house, it wouldn’t hurt…)
Educate your children to help out with all chores, this way they will grow up knowing that this is expected. 
Just for laughs, when I first met my in laws, my husband had his toenails cut by his mom in front of me… I was like nooooo way!!! 
Stop what you are doing for him and if he says something he can do it himself🤷🏼♀️ eventually he will get tired of repeating himself and will just do it. GOOD LUCK
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I run a daycare and am a single mom of 2… you got this… stop cleaning and cooking for him if he doesn’t wanna help… less stress on your part…
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No…he’s being a selfish dick and will get away with it as long as you let him
Those are his kids and his home too. You arent the only person living there. Hes just LAZY.
Nope if you weren’t in the picture he’d still have to do his own laundry and dishes. Seriously what would it hurt him to fold some laundry while watching the usual sports clips from the week 
. I’m seriously petty about certain things so I’d leave his dishes in the sink even though it would kill me and not do his laundry. Lol I would probably cut off bedroom activities as well . I’d definitely state being tired and overworked has been rough so I’m taking a break from the extra work.
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Hire help bet he pitches in then
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I feel so sorry for the women who post these day after day and I thank God every time that I have a husband who would genuinely rather lighten my load than watch me suffer. Grateful as hell.
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Nope. Been there and refuse to live like that again.
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Remind him that it’s HIS home too. He gets to roll up his sleeves and do work as well. You are a TEAM. Not overreacting at all. So thankful my husband just does things.
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Your doing too much for a grown man but he acting like a boy STOP doing things for him he not a baby he a grown man and taking you for granted teach him a lesson and he soon change his tune .
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Stop washing his shit. Stop cooking for him. Stop picking up after him. It works 
My man used to be like this. A big reason we broke up for two months last year. But we both worked and I worked 12 hour overnight shifts. Cleaned, cooked, took care of our son on barely 3 hours of sleep a day. We split up and when he realized how much work the house took on his own, when we got back together he has been so much better!
Stop doing it for him and show him how much he needs to appreciate you. If you hold it in and keep doing all the work he won’t realize it’s eating you up. Put your foot down or it won’t change.
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No… get his lazy arse to help or get him to move back to his mother’s!!! Ur not his slave or servant… he is MEANT to help
No you’re not over reacting. He needs to step up
Stop doing EVERYTHING for him. No laundry, no cooking, Don’t pick up his crap at store. Do NOTHING and he will learn
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He can start doing his own laundry I’d purposely leave it out of the hamper and when he asks where his clothes are u say well you didn’t wash your own clothes. I’ve noticed u have to stop doing the shit for them and constantly ask for help and it still doesn’t work when u have a stubborn man.
Find a new husband?! My husband works 12-16 hours a day and still finds the time to help me whether it be help me cook dinner, laundry, dishes or whatever. I’m forever grateful that he helps me
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I would simply stop doing his things.
He can wash his clothes.
Feed himself.
All of the things.
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When he want some tell him the same thing he tells you, You’ve done your work for the day and i bet when his honey start dripping his ass will be help you, Even putting in overtime 
He’s lazy as hell. Your not overreacting.
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No you’re not as I also had this issue with my now ex. However, he was one that had to be told what to do but he really never argued it. I just hated having to tell him everything to do as all that did was increase the mental load.
What I do is, talk shit the entire time I’m doing a task. I make sure it’s directly around where he’s trying to relax too for maximum effect.
I would hire a house cleaner for a few hours a day… that will get his attention and if he complains tell him I had to hire someone because I have no one else!!
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Remind him that if you left him he’d have 100% of the housework and child care to do himself.
He sounds like a slob
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I would stop doing anything for him, no laundry, dishes, meals, etc. he lives in the home and I can assume is perfectly physically able to assist. 
My husband made a comment about his laundry not being done, so now he gets to do it himself and it’s been that way for over a year.
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Stop doing it…
Especially stop washing his crap.
You’re not overreacting, but you should have corrected HIS issue before you got married and had kids. He got used to you doing it all and expects that now.
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Not over reacting. Stop doing HIS laundry or HIS meals. He will learn fast
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If he loved you he would help.
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No you are not over reacting. Years ago I found out I got a little relief( had 3 kids) by him just Cleaning the showers and tubs and doing all vacuuming. Just two things but that 1 hr 45 min was like 8 to me!! He also takes out trash of course. It could be 2 times a week or just once ( it’s up to your household need). but it helped tremendously. Just ask him . Say how much you would appreciate him for it… if needed write down your daily chores then his 2 on other side. Maybe then he will see. Also give him a couples book about that.or ho to marriage therapy
Ask him “who would do MY job if I left?” 🤷
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Lol. Im petty and dont solve disputes well, so don’t take my advice. But id leave his dirty clothes in the basket. Make him responsible for cleanin up his own mess. Maybe after a few days of no clean drawers and socks, hell step up. Im also recently divorced so i repeat dont take my advice.
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Your feelings are very valid
Girl, show him these comments!
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“On every page I follow, in every parent group I am in, I see the same thing: mothers talking about how exhausted they are, how hurt they are by the imbalance of work in their heterosexual relationships. The problems are all some variation of “I just gave birth/am up half the night breastfeeding. Why do I have to also make dinner and clean while my spouse watches TV?” The advice is always the same: Be gentle with yourself. You can’t do it all. Parenthood is hard.”
This mom is done with the sugarcoating, and goes straight to the point.
“I don’t know which of you needs to hear this, but I’ll give you some better advice: Divorce his ass.”
She talks about how society is much gentler with fathers, and how they’re usually the first to get a break, no matter how tired a mother is.
“This cultural norm where a man buys his free time with his partner’s labor, suffering and sometimes with the literal destruction of her body is misogyny on steroids. Men are not innately incompetent or lazy or incapable of doing their fair share.”
She also reminds women that men who don’t pull their weight don’t deserve to have a wife. “Tell that jackass to get off the golf course, get his ass home, get up in the middle of the night with the baby, and start earning the right to stay married.”
She rightfully points out that lazy men are a dime a dozen, then cites her own husband, who’s in the criminal justice field, as an example of someone who works hard and still helps with their children. She ends the post with something short and simple.
“If he gets free time and you don’t, if he gets to sleep and you don’t, if you have to do the grunt work and he doesn’t, guess what. It’s not an accident. He knows exactly what he is doing. Division of labor imbalances in marriage are a form of spousal abuse. Stop making excuses for shitty men.”
Stop doing things for him. Stop doing his laundry, making him dinner, shopping for stuff for him ect… after about a week he should get the drift.
His job may end after 8 hrs a day but his job as a parent and husband never ends. He should be helping
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Don’t clean up after him or do his laundry or cook his food. And tell him that’s his “job”
If your husband works all day outside the home he wants rest after work. If you have a indoor daycare you have some extra time to do your housework. Otherwise go find an outside job and you all can share the housework.
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Stop doing his laundry. Don’t cook for him. Take care of you and the kids. See if he can take the hint
Get help helping you around the house. Maybe you should let him have 1 of the children outside when he’s doing yard work to help relieve you if you need the help. But if he’s doing yard work & working and you’re doing the inside work plus work then maybe that even work. Or have him pick up an extra job so you don’t feel overwhelmed with what you’re doing.
It’s his house to he lives there he should be doing everything he would do if he lived alone
Example:
He washes his own dishes
Washes his own clothes
And don’t fall for him not knowing or he does it too slow
You can do what has worked for me! Almost everywhere my husband and I have lived our washing and dryer machines have required going down stairs or was in a creepy basement. So he has ended up almost always doing the laundry because he says he doesn’t want me to carry the heavy basket in those conditions I just agreed to always doing the folding though, so it ends up working out for us both 
After you tell him to go to hell, stop washing his dirty underwear, stop cooking for him, and don’t pick up after him. Let him pull his own weight when it comes to taking care of the home and himself
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No, you,re doing more than your share…
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What does he do for a living?
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Willie Yanez wow Deja vu Lol
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Until everyone changes the mindset of ‘helping’ someone else maintain the household, there will be no change. EVERYONE is responsible for keeping a house going. The word ‘help’ implies it is all your responsibility and others help. Not how it should be. If someone asks to ‘help’ @ my house, they get the look and a gentle reminder that it just needs to be done. Divide up what is part of your work (I ran a daycare from home for years and understand), what are the household maintenance, list out who does what and work towards more equity of responsibility.
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Let his dirty laundry pile up and then see how he goes with helping.
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Oh I’d tell him to pound sand if he thinks his job is done for the day. He is a PARENT and a partner too. Those aren’t just fun play titles - they are work too.
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Oh no Lord, this is not a men, this is a RED FLAG
Can your kids start pitching in to help you?
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I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I can’t imagine. My husband works 18 hour days and still manages to find time to help me. If I cook, he’ll do dishes.
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Being a parent and a partner, your job is never done… you may clock in and out of your income job but it’s 24-7 at home. He has zero excuse to not help when you feel overwhelmed.
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Not overreacting at all my fiancee and I decided he works a hard labor job I get it I am a stay at home mom and full time student so we split the week 3 nights a week I cook then he cooks, we rotate putting the kids down, we switch laundry weeks it’s all about compromise and team work…
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It’s one thing to be ignorant of a mess, but it’s a whole different issue to say “no that’s your job.” You need to change that ENTIRE dynamic. Don’t clean his messes anymore.
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Book a weekend away for yourself and leave when he comes home you can tell him where you’ll be but not to call unless it’s an absolute emergency he’s on duty 24/7 until you get back. I’ll bet he’ll start helping the week after
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Hire a cleaner out of his pay then. You need some help mumma. He thinks it’s beneath him and the outside jobs hardly compare. What mow the lawn once a week.
Been there. I am not now. .
it’s not fair and not ok.
Hire a cleaner using his pay. If he doesn’t like it he can help. 
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Nope. It’s a partnership. You’re supposed to be a team. He should be willing to help out. Especially if you’ve expressed that u need more help
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No cookie for him !! Or clean clothes …cook your own shit . Honey u gonna be dirty ,hungry, and horney ! It works
Stop doing shit shit. His laundry dishes etc. Don’t even cook for him
I personally would only do things that are for you and your kids. You are a stay at home mom not a stay at home wife. No longer make his meals, do his laundry, clean up his mess. Treat him the way he treats you. As long as you and your kids are taken care of “ your job is done for the day”.
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Stop helping him, he can do his own laundry, wash his own dishes… and have an in depth chat about the actual amount of work being done. Is he even doing half the parenting?
A day on the weekend when you aren’t watching the other kids just get up and tell him to have fun with the kids, you’re going out. And leave and stay gone for the entire day. He needs a dose of reality in what it takes to actually raise HIS KIDS and maintain HIS HOME. It’s not “helping” when he and his children live there as well it’s just doing your part in maintaining the home you BOTH have built together! The “job” of being a parent is NEVER DONE
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red flag, time to consider your choices because you do not have a partner
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My advice for what it’s worth. Stop doing his laundry. Stop doing the little things you do for him. You aren’t his mommy. According to him, it’s your job to do the kids. Well, he isn’t one of them. I stopped doing my husbands laundry over a yr ago. Why? Because he didn’t appreciate any thing I do. You are supposed to marry your partner. Someone who sees when ur overwhelmed and who wants to help you. If he doesn’t give a shit, why should I. Guarantee he will suffer and whine. Offer him some cheese to go with it. 
He sounds like a jerk. Stop cleaning ‘his’ mess, leave his dishes and his laundry. Make him clean up after himself. Stop buying his special things on grocery runs. Make it harder for him to devalue you.
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Put your foot down. Tell him he is going to start doing dishes once a week, and dishes once a week on weekend.
I was reading some of these comments, and I was amazed at them. I am 77. When I had my 4 kids, that was the way it was. I was a stay at home mom til the last one went to kindergarten. I did it all, including cutting the grass most of the time. My husband worked all day, came home, sat and watched tv. I also kept from 3 to 5 other kids while their moms worked. When I went to work outside the home, I still had all the work at home on me. When I asked for help, I got some for a couple weeks. That was it. So, from then on I only did minimal housework, so we learned to live in a not so clean house. You can only do so much.
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Start leaving his mess that he makes for him to clean… ex. His dirty cloths… his lunches/suppers an anything else you personally do for him that he will notice once you stop doing it 
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Randy your one of a kind cuz lol
First no your not over-reacting. Second, it isn’t help it’s called accountability of sharing the responsibility of care tasks. It sounds as if you took on these care tasks and always made sure they were done and now expecting him to adjust and take some. He will push back bc it does not benefit him in any way. However, renegotiate with him. Simply as saying hey I get that you feel that you have done your job…but if we switched and you did all I did would you see that as a fair equivalent or would you see that you could take more on. If you do see it unfair, great here’s how you can help me…if he doesn’t, you hold him accountable and say ok since you do not see it… were switching care tasks from now on. Because maybe I don’t see or value all your doing…
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Don’t do his laundry or cook his dinner! He will soon realise you aren’t his maid
Have a weekend away by yourself, include a massage and pedicure, and hire a helper with his pay.
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Nope, not over reacting !! 
You deserve a break & a self care weekend !!
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A lot of people are saying make him, put your foot down, etc. If you force him to do the shit he will just resent it & you. You realistically can’t just leave dirty dishes, laundry, etc. when you run an in home daycare because you’re expected to have a safe, clean environment. So I feel like you gotta ask yourself if this behavior doesn’t ever change is it a non-negotiable, like you just absolutely can not deal with this for the rest of your life? Not that you should HAVE to, because he should be a partner & help you. 
Is it possible to take on another kiddo & put the funds towards a housekeeper once a week? Sound possibly even be a write-off for taxes? That would eliminate that extra stress for both of y’all.
It’s not “helping” when he and his kids live there. It’s called maintaining his home and raising his kids.
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I’m so blessed my husband works 8 plus hrs and some weekends and still will come home and make dinner as well as the laundry. Now I do my Owen laundry and towels he does the whites because I turn them grey and he cooks because well let’s just say we would starve. He also keeps up the yard so ya my lazy
A$$ tries to keep up what little there is and still I don’t always keep up but a good man is hard to find and I had to fight at first because my jobs was 24/7 his was 8 plus at times he saw I was also helping with raising our grandkids so I appreciate that he see what I do