I am at my wits end with my husband…we both work…he makes way more than me but i am the one who pays almost every bill and groceries and whatever our kids need…he doesntprovide anything for them half of the time its always me…he refuses to let me have any of his money for anything and at this point i feel like i should do everything on my own without him…he gambles, buys beer and ciggarettes and just doesnt think of our familyor saving…how can i get him to realize he needs ti pitch in
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my husband to help with bills?
I feel so sorry for you. I could NOT stay with someone like that. That’s not a partner. Especially being married. Just wow.
Thats not a “marriage” that is him being selfish!!! Honestly, you’d better off without him!! You literally have nothing to lose!!!
So what you’re saying is, you’re providing everything for a grown man who is more like another child. But blowing everything away on himself and not the family he helped create? So tell me again why you are still trying to make him understand instead of just divorcing him?
I’m sorry Momma, but you’re already doing it all on your own. You do NOT need to be taking care of manchild too. You deserve better and he will never change.
Time to secure your own place and move out. File for divorce and custody.
Throw him in the whole trash.
Seriously, Id be telling him he needs to man up, or get out. You’re already living as a single parent anyway, so if he isn’t gonna change, actually become one. Then file for support since theyre (assuming) his kids too.
Write out every expense and show him. Tell him the marriage should be 50/50 with bills but both need to give 100 percent communication and tackle the bills equally.
You should have done all of that before having kids and marrying him because he’s done it for so long now that he’s not going to want to change. It’s borderline financial abuse though.
That would just be a big no from me but I guess every dynamic is different. So if you don’t like it, make that line in the sand. That’s your right. He’ll decide if he wants to or not.
Opening a third account for yall to go halves on bills and groceries is an option too I guess.
It is an instinct to take care of your family so don’t waste your time.
Give him a bill for his half of everything, plus an extra $200 to set aside for savings. Then make sure you keep track of everything you pay and that it’s your funds that are covering it. You’re going to need that when you file for divorce.
Sounds like a dependent or a liability.
Not a husband.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. We had to sit down and make a budget. If he isn’t willing to participate it doesn’t do much good. Maybe a 3rd party could help. My in-laws help us make one.
You’re already doing it on your own with the added expense of HIM. Move on without him.
Leave his arse what’s he do for you?
Nope. He would need to leave my home.
I mean this in the kindest and most respectful way, but why are you even married? This doesn’t sound like any kind of relationship, let alone a healthy marriage
Divorce and garnish his wages.
You are crazy to let him get away with this
I think it’s time to kick him to the curve because if your already taking care of the bills and the family you don’t need him
Yeh, that ain’t cool
Stop paying them all….he’s using you and needs to get his together. My husbands a big spender so I took my name off it all. So then when it hits the fan he’s got to fix it.
I have never understood “ my money and your money” when you marry doesn’t it become “our money” !???
Yikes sounds like it’s time for divorce, alimony, and child support. That shit ain’t cute and I promise it’ll only get worse
Exact reason I left the father of my girls back in 2005 … if I was going to play the role of a single mother…then fck it I was going to be a single mother… 17 yrs later and ZERO regrets!
That is not a husband and partner…that is another child.
Nope time for him to go!!!
Wow! That’s a child not a husband! A real man provides for his family! Saddening that you’ve let this go on this long.and had children with this child. Smh!
Send him packing and go for child and spousal support
Are you for real
What you need to do is divorce the dead weight, ask for spousal support and child support and go be happy with your children.
Sue him for alimony and child support. He’s obligated by law. So sue him and get it.
He can combine it all together or split everything 1/2 or move out
Divorce him u basically are living on ur own anyway just with a grown freeloader
Move on without him. He is dragging you down.
Ummm… why is this even a thing? How long has this been going on?? Why are you still married to this loser?!
How long has this been going on?
If your paying for everything and doing everything for the kids and he is a dick about pitching in or giving you money then kick his ass out. Your already doing it alone anyways. And I would not put up with someone being so damn selfish. What gave him the great idea that he doesn’t have to help or provide. Don’t put up with this disrespectful shit. Who knows what he blows his money on…which is sketchy if he doesn’t pay bills or food or anything responsible then how do you know he isn’t blowing it on drugs and whores.
You get to the point where your tired and to the point where they make you hate them. Its sad that they dont understand or care enough to be a man. Its time to move on. You can manage on your own. You have been all along. File for divorce an make sure you get everything you worked so hard for. He can go find somewhere to stay. He has plenty of money since he dont pay shit. Dont allow your life to go down the tubes. Someday your gonna want to retire an enjoy life
Don’t pay the bills.
Don’t pay his car insurance.
Don’t pay his phone bill
Don’t pay the utilities. If the lights go out or water turns off take kids and leave.
Do it on ur own…ur doing it now anyway
Wow hes a selfish man living the good life
Why are you with him? You might as well be single. Dump his sorry ass and let him enjoy paying child support.
Divorce him, move you and the kids out and get child support
My grandmother told us to NEVER start doing something for a man you don’t plan to do forever. It’s gonna be hard to change.
Put him on child support.
This is a NO BRAINER!!! DIVORCE HIM!!
His money ? Your married ! What’s his is yours and what’s yours is his !
My husband will go without things to make sure our bills are paid and our family has everything we need
Leave him. Period. Lol there is no changing a pos mind like that. He doesn’t give af about you or kids obviously and he isn’t going to suddenly start. Say goodbye and kick him out. You already know you can do it without him
He is your husband and the father of your children not a man who just lives in the house give him an ultimatum tell him he needs to start helping out with his children in his house too or he needs to leave
I’d divorce him, a relationship should be 50/50! Sounds like he has a lot of issues!
Why are you wasting your time w him? Move on
He doesn’t deserve you are the children, such a loser! Leave now!
Pack his stuff, leave it on the front lawn for him, and change the locks while he’s at work, and have an officer serve him with divorce papers when he gets home. You’ve let him get away with everything for so long, he doesn’t think he needs to change. He doesn’t believe that you’ll leave. Show him different. It’ll either light a fire under him or rid you of the burden of a deadbeat husband.
Divorce him. He’s dead weight.
Don’t pay his bills. Whatever is in his name, don’t pay for it. Let him sink.
Leave. You are already doing everything plus you are enabling him by cont to let him get by with the mess.
That’s exactly what my ex did…… gone!!
That is NOT a husband or a man. That is a child. Sounds like you can handle it on your own. If you do go that route, you’ll for sure get at least child support.
Ask him to change and tell him you are leaving if he doesn’t. If he doesn’t change, leave.
Give him an ultimatum. If he still doesn’t help out, get a divorce and he’ll be forced to help out with child support and maybe spousal support.
Run as fast as you can
Document everything and leave. He’s going to continue as long as you allow it. Once he’s on his own, he’ll have to pay his own bills. You deserve a better life than that.
Um. Excuse me!!! He should at least be paying half. I’m afraid I would have kicked him to the curb already.
Ditch his useless Ass.
I would have never married him !
Divorce him and get child support he’ll be more of use to you that way
He’s dead weight. Kick him to the curb.
How did he become your husband??!?!(!
In marriage you share everything to include bills or that how I understood it.
He’s not going to. I would b gone already
So what does he bring to this partnership and child rearing? What you allow will continue, momma. Time to set those boundaries or let him go. He’s living the single life as it is. Wishing you the best and so sorry you are going through this
Ah hell nawl. Throw d whole man away
File for child support.
You shouldn’t have to ask. You can blame progressive feminism for this. The man is supposed to be the provider & the woman is supposed to be the nurturer.
That’s how my EX was
You are doing it alone, so make it official
If he hinders you instead of helping you it’s time for him to go
You need to put your foot down and.if don’t help you can get child support
Threaton to leave him if he does not help
Divorce him and get alimony and child support from him ASAP. You’re doing it all on your own anyway. F HIM!!!
Leave him. You n the kids will be fine without him. Then if you must get child support through the courts.
Change the locks , pack his gear and wish him well
You’ve allowed him to be like this and let him get away with it. You need to tell him that if he continues not helping that you will not pay anymore bills or get anything like groceries etc and if that doesn’t seem to get an reaction out of him then maybe it’s time to file for a legal separation and go after him for child support
Divorce & Child Support!
Divorce * Child Support * Alimony
Give him the ultimatum… start helping or you’ll walk… it’s not fair to you.
So you’re a single parent with a roomate? I’m sorry sis. You might need to go to counseling or lawyer up
If you’re doing it by yourself now then why do you need that pos. Divorce him
He’s teaching you to be independent and on your own without him. You’re better off without him
Live and follow for child support.
The question you should be asking yourself is why the hell are you still with him? How does he benefits your life? What does he bring to the table? I say lose the extra baggage
If you have to ask means you should have cut him loose long ago
You would be better financially if you were not supporting him and his habits.
I had a boyfriend for 4 years that I paid for everything!!!
He, like your husband, paid for his beer, cogs and gas.
Speaking from experience, it’s time to just cut your losses.
Or at least not live together.
Maybe he can figure out some sort of financial responsibility.
And I’m saying this on the nicest way…….you each people how to treat you.
I learned that the hard way.
You can’t, he has shown you who he really is. Believe him the first time.
We teach people how to treat us. Please don’t leave the key to your happiness in anyone’s pocket
Change the locks and set his stuff outside.
Divorce, are you serious?
LEAVE HIM! Find a man that will take care of you!
You shouldn’t have to get him to realize - he’s a husband and father! If he hasn’t “clued” in then he probably isn’t going too! Divorce his ass and make him pay child support- he can’t get out of that legally!