How can I get my husband to understand I need help

I am barely coping. I have a 10 week old baby and a 5 year old. My husband works 5 days a week and I have the kids full time (also school holidays at the moment). I spend the entire day with my kids and tending to their every needs. I also clean, do washing, dishes, vacuum while husband is at work. After work he grabs a beer and sits on his phone. If I ask him to hold the baby for me to have a moment he sighs. He always sighs at any moment when I ask him to do things. Or even just to watch them while I finish cooking dinner. He always says “just let me chill out” or he also just sits on his computer. I’m fed up because I know he works all day but we all know as mothers or (stay at home fathers) that having your kids home all day and maintaining the houses needs is a full time job. And don’t get me started on the fact that he has not once done a night feed, not even with our 5 year old when he was a baby. I also have fully stopped desiring him And I’m sure that these are the reasons why. Nothing is sexier than a good dad!!! I have thought about sex non stop since I stopped hurting from birth but I just don’t want to do it, especially with the way I’m feeling toward him. I don’t want to have sex with him and that suddenly make everything okay. I’m just screaming from the inside when I am around him and I’ve had enough! We are about to buy a house together and now I’m constantly thinking is this actually the right thing to do? And yes I’ve tried talking to him he just doesn’t seem to care. He’s the most un affectionate person I’ve ever met. I’d love some advice I guess? I’m not sure. I want things to work but how can I make them work, how can I make him understand sorry long post.

420 Likes

I am a stay at home mom and I feel this TO THE CORE!! yes, granted my husband works all day, BUT a LITTTTLE help once in awhile with house stuff would be amazing. I don’t work due to chronic pain so by the end of the day and doing everything, I am like dead and don’t even want to do anything. but I continue on going outside with him and our child every day and we just do whatever even though I literally don’t feel like it. I complained the other day because (we do have a dish washer) BUT right now, we don’t have enough extra dishes so I’m always having to hand wash the dishes because the dishwasher isn’t full enough to wash. I’ll throw the dirty dishes in the dishwasher but then the next night I’ll need one of the pans we used, and then we’ll need a specific this or that from the dish washer so then I just end up hand washing everything. anyway, I complained to him the other day (his response was well how am i suppose to know the dishes need to be washed…like really, you can tell the sink full is dirty dishes?) that it would be nice if he just washed a few of the dishes so I didn’t have to stand there at the sink in chronic pain after I’ve been cleaning all day or unpacking more boxes from our move, on top of tending to our child who’s almost 3 so there is always something she wants and I can’t even get a 5 minute break! sorry, not much advice but I guess I needed to rant and we’re in the same boat!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I get my husband to understand I need help

Really stop and think about buying a house together. Buying a house and moving are huge stressors on marriage anyway. If you already having doubts you may want to slow down a bit to make sure this is really how you want to live your life.

16 Likes

Show him this post. Then maybe he will understand how serious you are. You knew how he was with the first child and you accepted it and had another. He thinks his behavior is ok. And it’s definitely not. Those are just as much his kids as they are yours. He is a grown man he knows what he needs to do. Let him know what you expect and be firm. He can be a better father and husband or you want out.

18 Likes

You either put up with it or you don’t. He’s had 5 yrs to see your not going to do anything about his actions and behaviors. Why would he change? It’s up to you.

14 Likes

You could be doing all this and working fulltime. Suck it up or leave and take care of yourself!!!

It’s a team effort :smiling_face: that’s what men don’t understand. Our sanity and energy need to matter more. I feel you momma

7 Likes

I don’t understand why he wouldn’t want to hold the baby! Everyone needs a break but even if you didn’t then he should still want to hold his baby and see his other child and interact. Good luck!! :sob:

13 Likes

Same here hun. All I wanted from my fiance today was for him to sit outside with me and our 2 year old but he went to sleep instead. Now he’s mad at me because our son won’t go to bed.

2 Likes

I read this to my husband. Yeah he’s in the wrong and he’d have a rude awakening in my house. I do 90% of stuff in our home. My husbands AD military but even when he comes home he tries to help and plays with kids to give me a breather.

Sit down write a whole ass letter or book if it needs to be. Put it in a zip lock and tape it to his damn car window. So he can read it and have something to think about. Make sure u include everything how u feel what you needs are and the consequences that would happen if something doesn’t change.

If he continued the same patterns for that long I doubt he will change. It’s your own life but buying a house with someone who will just simply be staying there while you do everything to keep it a home sounds extremely draining. Also he is a parent regardless if he works he still has the responsibility of tending to his children. He is also a husband and has a responsibility to tend to you just as you do for him. Shouldn’t all be on you.

6 Likes

Please try therapy first.
I found that the transition from one child to two was huge. I was exhausted all the time.
Yes he works 40 hours a week. But you work 24/7. An outside perspective with therapy may help him realize this.

4 Likes

Don’t buy a house with him. Leave.
I’m sorry, but I didn’t leave. And I’m here 20 years later regretting wasting my life. They don’t change.

7 Likes

You’re on duty 24/7 but he thinks he’s entitled to put in 40 hrs a week and have a personal servant.

2 Likes

Time to let the marriage go. He’s obviously stuck in his ways and won’t change because he’s been that way for so long.

4 Likes

So it’s like this you need to stop giving a crap about his pissing and moaning and make him do it !!! Or it will never get better!!! I’m not saying leave him with the baby and take off to the store but he is more then required to help even after work ! He at least gets a lunch break you do not !!!:warning: as a mom of three babies just do it !! He’s gonna throw a fit like a toddler but don’t back down !! Make him do it and if he refuses flip out because now is the time to set a routine and he’s trying to guilt you into take on all !! Of!!! The ! Responsibly !! Of having a new baby and a toddler !! Those are not just your kids !! Make his ass get up!!! When I did this along with ever other mom I know who’s gotten to their braking point they either figured it out 99.9 percent of the time or they finally show their true colors and take off !! You need support you need help his is an adult I don’t care if he works all day ect being a stay at home mom with a new born and a toddler is mentally and physically to much for one person and that’s because it’s not suppose to be that way!!!:warning::persevere::sweat: you gotta just do it girl hand him the baby don’t ask him and go take a fucking shower !! And order some pizza

Could possibly be PPD as well.

1 Like

Number 1- check in with your doctor because some of this sounds line post partum depression and that is a slippery slope. Number 2- I think you need to make him be alone with the kids for a good few hours. Let him see how hard it is. Go get lunch with a friend or family member, see a movie. You need to take a break and he needs to see how hard it is to juggle 2 kids. I really really hope you can get him to see, this will cause a lot of resentment for a long time. I’m sending you good juju. Good luck mama. You got this.

8 Likes

I feel you, mama. You are not alone. Tell him you guys need some couples therapy and that you’ve reconsidered buying that house with him. I hope for the best for you. :heart:

You answered your own question
It a hard choice with a hard act to follow. They say it’s easier said than done. It certainly is.

2 Likes

You knew he was this jerk after having the first baby and you had another one?
Get a job and leave the house. Maybe like that he’s able to see you as his equal.
Staying home moms isn’t for everyone. I keep saying this over and over.
If you’re husband isn’t a well educated wealthy gentleman, staying home isn’t for you.

3 Likes

He needs to understand that being a mum is 24/7 seven days a week ! You need a break to,just like he needs a break from work when he gets home and chills!
Go out for a couple of hours on the weekend , leave him with the kids.

1 Like

See Councillor abt problems,if he won’t go see them by yourself.Hand him the kids,go for walk,start a group walk.jog,just get out talk to another adult,Take a class,go to library, just take a break

Are you married to my exhusband?

5 Likes

Bring it up to him the next time buying a house comes up

“I don’t know if its a good idea anymore. It doesn’t seem like you even like living with me and the kids anyway”

8 Likes

I would mention all of this to your doctor, post partum hormones, depression and anxiety can become a huge problem and fast.

5 Likes

I wouldn’t buy a house with him. If he can’t meet you half way it’s time to go. If your gonna me a single parent while married you might as well do it 100% on your own. I would start with telling him your going back to work. It will give u a break. Also on his days off leave him with the kids and go out. Who cares of he gets mad.

9 Likes

He’s not going to change. As long as you allow it or stick around he will keep on.

6 Likes

Once he is home and “relaxed” leave him alone with the kids and go “run errands”. Get out of the house and get a small time to yourself.
Jut leave him with the kids. No explanation nothing just out the door
Second. Quit doing sh!t for him. Leave his laundry alone. Done serve him a meal. Dont do squat for the asshole

let him do your job for 1 whole day and then maybe he’d understand. but seriously tell him how you feel and that you think y’all need some counseling or that you will not last as a family together. do not buy a home with someone that you already have doubts about. and don’t have more kids since you already have 2 and it’s not working. some men just need a reality wakeup.

2 Likes

You should never do big commitments (buy a house) when your relationship is at best in jeopardy, at worst circling the drain, you need to untangle rather than tangle

13 Likes

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I was in a situation like this once and I ended up losing myself through all of it. I broke off the engagement, packed my stuff and my sons and I rolled out. Best decision I could have ever made! Especially since he doesn’t see an issue with his behavior. It’s emotional and mental abuse in my opinion and it’s so unhealthy, not just for you, but for your children as well. If things don’t change, you’re children will grow up to think his behavior is normal. They will not see love between the two of you either. They will mimic that behavior either being the same way or allowing to ge treated the same way.
I truly hope that things can be worked out, but until he admits there’s an issue, it never will. Best of luck to you dear.

11 Likes

Went into hospit for one week. Doc. Says we have to send Mrs. To Pittsburgh for more surgery. He took off first week. My brother sister in law came to help. 2 week they had to go home. Guess what. My husband with 4 kids youngest not even 2 oldest age7. . Never called me lazy wimpy ever again. He just loved changing those diapers :laughing:

4 Likes

Tough as things r these days get u a job. U need adult time out. Don’t depend on a man for happiness. U should never need him but want him. Only u can change this. Good luck. U prob got a lil baby blues as well. Talk to ur dr.

3 Likes

I am almost to exactly how you feel. My husband works 5 days a week, 40 plus hours out in (we live in Fl) heat. I understand he’s exhausted when he gets home but I am to. We have a almost 5 month old and a 9 year old. When he comes home he’s on his phone or his game. When I ask him to help he does sometimes without a complaint and others I can see it in his face he just wants to play his game uninterrupted. He can’t get up with our son, didn’t much with our first one either. But this time it’s so much worse because I came to the conclusion when our 2nd born was a week old I can’t trust my husband to take care of him at night, do night feedings or changing. It’s extremely hard for me to wake him at night just so I can go to the bathroom and have him change our son. He takes way to long to get up, if I can wake him, and takes to long to change him. I stopped fighting waking him. I just want him to show some appreciation by doing what things he knows I do every night. I call them night routine of getting bottles and everything prepared for if our son wakes up.

Idk why anyone is saying it could be ppd… clearly he’s just a man that thinks since he works, he doesn’t have to do shit at home. Real dads/men don’t even have to be asked to help with the kids, or help around the house. Basically it sounds like you’re his nanny, mommy, and servant. And since you’ve already brought it up to him and nothings changed, he doesn’t care about you or how you feel. Only about himself. Go find a real man, and drop the entitled man child

I agree either couples therapy, not buying a house, and literally showing this to him. If he thinks you’re being unreasonable then HE really is an immature idiot.How selfish of him.

1 Like

Number 1- don’t buy a house with him, number 2- if he wanted to be different, he’d try and change after these talks, 3- run!

4 Likes

I couldn’t even get through this post. Tell him to get the f*ck out if he can’t help or just pack up and leave. If he wants to act like a man baby then treat him like one. I seriously can’t stand a man that thinks just because they work they don’t have to help out when they get home. Stop putting up with the bs. You deserve better and can do bad all by yourself.

Hand him the baby and the 5 year old , grab your purse and keys, get in the car and leave for a couple of hours. Don’t answer your phone, if it’s an Emergency he will text. Next time you tell him you need help , if he doesn’t jump to help you . He never will.

11 Likes

These are the kind of things to talk about before marriage and kids. Not in a rude way , it’s things people don’t talk about that could truly save lives ahead of time. Maybe he’s not a kids kinda guy and you thought it just might change. Unfortunately sometimes they don’t. They don’t change… you do. So few different options… 1. Leave him, you’ll find someone who loves kids and gives you the things your husband currently doesn’t. 2. Go to therapy , work on being better together. 3. Keep doing what your doing but breath and figure out a better solution … maybe a babysitter once a week just to chill together or chill alone. Whatever you need to feel better, you gotta do it. It’s not ok to feel upset all the time. Find peace . Good luck . Hope all goes well. I’m rooting for you two and the happy ending you deserve .

Doing it alone. Tell him you may as well be alone.

6 Likes

Maybe you should give him an ultimatum and see how he reacts to that and at the same time let him know that you mean business and you’re not playing around that you’re fed up and sick of the way everything is going js

2 Likes

Leave. It never changes.

3 Likes

Had the same with hubby at first then we sat down and talked lucky for me he started helping a lot more. He is a amazing father. Girl run. He isn’t gonna change his ways.

1 Like

Id like to tell u it gets better…
But i was where u are 2 years ago.
I didnt leave

And its gotten way worse

3 Likes

Terrible spouse … and lousy example to his children . Pathetic man.

2 Likes

Leave and see how he feels maybe then he will wake up

2 Likes

There is someone out there that will want to help you and love you the way you deserve. Don’t let your husband stop you from finding that. The longer you stay the more you’re going to resent him. Remember if he wanted to, he would.

Hugs mama, you’ll figure it out. :heart:

1 Like

To tell you the truth the house thing bad idea I have been with my babies daddy almost 20 years an this is exactly how he is yes he does help clean an will watch the kids I now have 5 kids by him message me

So I had a 5yr old and new born and my now ex was no help with either. Notice I said ex. Needless to say for me getting out of a relationship that would teach my boys the wrong way to treat women was the best decision for me. Mine also had a gf since I was 4mo pregnant with my youngest. Yeah, he was a real winner.:woozy_face:

The only advice I have is you have to do what you feel is right for you. Also is this an example you want for your kids?

5 Likes

There were three times he was affectionate! That should tell you something sweetie!

My husband works 24 to 48 hour shifts & comes home & still helps me. So there is no excuse. Really think of your future before making any decision with someone who seems to be irritated by a simple favor. Especially when it comes to doing fatherly duties that is expected. If he can’t be bothered to tend to his family it says a lot. Your kids will grow & have more needs. Having it fall on you won’t get any easier. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You’re a strong mama & you’ll get through this. Have a serious talk with him & hopefully he’ll make changes. Good luck hun

2 Likes

Do not buy a house until you figure out the relationship. You need to decide if you’re ready to two card. Bc either you do counseling and he steps up as a parent and partner or he can have a divorce and kids he doesn’t bother to see and pay support. It ou just need to decide what your willing to put up with.

You’re still dealing with your hormones. I would seek individual therapy. Work on yourself before you work on your marriage and/or call it quits

1 Like

Can anyone help u
His parents ,your parents ,a sister someone close it sounds like u both need a break he works all day than comes home more responsibilities. U manage the house and 2 kids u also need a break .
Why isnt the 5 year old in school ? Or a day care something .
And as for the baby well maybe her someone to watch the kids so u guys can have some adult time. That dont mean u have to have sex but if u guys dont make time for you guys than u probably will just accumulate more and more issues and eventually resent eachother .
I was a single mom of 3 boys all each a year a part I had no one to help at all period !
And when I was with the father it was exactly like this and worse .

Also why cant u put the baby on the floor on a blanket why does he have to be held . As for diaper changing he should of known this is what having kids would be like and needs to smarten up before it’s to late ! And u leave . Or maybe that’s what needs to happen for him to get it

Pack some bags and go some where leave a note tell him u guys can arrange a time for the kids and him but u need a break but dont twll him until he comes home and sees that ur not there wirh the kids to show him this is how it is gonna be if shit dont change .
U guys need to make time for u. As for fixing his lack if wanting to parenting skills of wanting to help tells me he wasnt ready or mature enough to understand what it means to have a baby and that its team work

For 9 years I raised my kids with my ex who was like this. I thought it frustrating but I couldn’t complain because he worked and he was tired. I had 3 kids and he came home after work played video games and slept. Didn’t help with the kids or cook or clean. Got mad if I was sick and needed to lay down instead of clean the house. It took me 9 years doing it by myself before I left. I’ve been with my boyfriend now for 8 months. He works 12 hour shifts, and still comes home, cooks breakfast, cleans, helps get my kids ready for school, makes their lunches etc. none of which my ex did for his own kids. He sees me getting stressed or overwhelmed and takes over without me even asking so I can relax. So believe me when I tell you, you do NOT have to do it alone. Do not settle for less just because he works and you stay home.

6 Likes

You can’t MAKE him do anything. Take your time and just chill instead of doing his laundry or making his dinner. Take the kids out on a walk to clear your mind and theirs. He doesn’t see your needs because he’s not looking to help. Good luck, keep your head up

5 Likes

First of all, don’t kill yourself trying to keep the house spotless because it’s never ending. And if he can’t help you, he shouldn’t expect to come home to dinner or a clean house. He needs clean clothes? There’s the washer. He can do them. Like others said, hand him the kids for a while and leave. You need a break too.

5 Likes

If you’ve talked to him and he just doesn’t seem to care or change his ways, that’s your answer mama. He’s not going to change. He will always be who he is. Do you want to live the rest of your life with him while doing everything yourself? You said he’s the most unaffectionate person you know…is that what you really want forever? You don’t desire him anymore because of how he acts…that’s not going to change. The decision is yours, but I think it’s a mistake to buy a house together while feeling this way. What you allow will continue mama. You deserve to be happy.

2 Likes

You are not wrong. He should help out and honestly you are the only one who needs to chill out. You need a damn break. You need to tell him and very clearly he needs to help out. He can have -an hour when get home to “chill” or whatever you think is needed especially if his Royal Highness isn’t making dinner or doing laundry or something that helps you and the household and then he needs to step up after his break. He needs to pick a kid to parent. He apparently is oblivious to the fact he has two. I’d tell him what needs to be done with said child and when older kids in bed/ baby snoozes and you have had a chance to shower and maybe eat dinner yourself and maybe watched a movie or something for yourself then he can avoid his life and the reality of being a parent and partner. I’d do that first and if he’s not getting it try counseling. Nothing pisses me off more than the I can’t do anything because I have a job baloney. You do too. You also have a husband who isn’t unable to help just doesn’t want to😡

He doesn’t like to be present with his family?

Sierra Mahar sounds like someone we know :roll_eyes:

You need to have a calm discussion with him. Tell him that when he sighs like that, you feel resentful. Tell him that you have needs too and when his are completely filled, yours are only 5% filled and eventually you’ll need to re evaluate the situation. Tell him that when you decided to have kids, he is 50%. Tell him that you need to go to counseling with him.

1 Like

I did that with my two kid and then with 3 grand kids the last one is 18 yrs old and I’m 66 woihoo

Let him read this post

9 Likes

If you have already had the conversation & he still doesn’t get it. It will never change! You have to do what us best for you.

1 Like

Stop doing stuff for him

3 Likes

Honestly the only thing I see a lot of women say they regret is not leaving sooner. Maybe a good trip to your parents house for a while to know you mean business. If I’d had done that with my ex , he would’ve probably got his crap together. Instead I waisted 8 years begging him to do the things I wanted him to do.

2 Likes

The talking you may be doing may not be effective we cant assume we arent entirely without fault when we are feeling this way, whether it’s our communication our expectations etc etc if the way he hears you isnt working try another approach without “just leave”
We evolve through life changes and our needs change with those life changes and we need to be able to communicate that in healthy way that is comprehensible by our partners

Tell him u need some time to think, grab the kids & stay with a friend for a few weeks to really think about ur future with this man & after u leave, tell him why

3 Likes

Honestly the only way my husband figured it out was when I left and he had to do it on his own. We split care for them but then it finally opened his eyes and realized what I do. But it took awhile. But I’m so thankful I did it. also before I took him back had a long talk that our relationship couldn’t go back to the way it was I was miserable. And it hasn’t he’s slipped a few times very small things tho and I would tell him it may have taken a day or two to register but he would understand.

I know when I was working full time, I’d always need 15 minutes to decompress after work before going into the task of parenting. Maybe bargain with him- 20 mins right after work for him to do what he wants (play on his phone/computer/etc with a beer) and then after that time is up, you get some time to be kid free- whether it’s to do your own decompressing, or cook, or go for a walk or whatever!

9 Likes

Start with therapy for you and personally, I wouldn’t invest in a house bc it sounds like you may not be together much longer.
Aa for talking, if you two can’t communicate effectively, put it onto actions.
Make plans and go out. Don’t warn him, when he walks in, kiss him on the cheek and tell him you’ll be back soon.
One of 2 thing happens; he either gets it or he doesn’t.

2 Likes

I have been in thesame situation, but my husband pays for the house alone so I agreed. I understand motherhood is so hard specially having 2 kids. I only had one with a heart condition and it gave me the worse PPD. What helped me was when I learned to stand up for myself, I booked a ticket for vacation, i told him I am not asking permission but I am informing you I am going for a vacation. This helped me bigtime. He didn’t speak to me for weeks but I didn’t care. I felt like my old self is back. Now I make sure to do it every year. We deserve a break.

4 Likes

I felt this to my very core. People truly don’t understand how exhausting and time consuming being a full time parent is.

Maybe try to suggest therapy. If he hears it from a professional maybe he’ll actually believe it (some people will not listen or believe it unless it comes from a “professional” :roll_eyes:).

I would hold off on buying a house with him until you know for sure your relationship will work.

I will never have another child again with someone, unless I’m confident they’ll be there for me if I need support or if I just need a helping hand every once in a while.

It’s exhausting feeling so alone all the time. Hugs to you mama. :heart:

3 Likes

Do.Not.buy.a.house.with.him. inform him these are HIS kids also. He needs to get off his ass and contribute.

You might want to go on your own. You won’t end up anywhere good staying I can promise you that. They have a lot for moms without homes, especially without a male tagging along. It’s not ideal till you get back on your feet, but it’s better than what will come if you don’t. I’m so sorry hun, this is NOT how it’s supposed to be and you will end up in a very ugly spot if you don’t start putting yourself first when you NEED to.

Stop doing everything, let him sigh and do your thing mama. You need a break whether he likes it or not, you’re not the only parent. As for the affection part, if he is and always has been an unaffectionate person, that will not change. You will find yourself more frustrated and feeling a certain way as time goes on before you finally have had enough. Good luck mama :four_leaf_clover:

1 Like

Don’t buy a house cause if you end up divorced you would have to sell it.
I seriously see that you are really burnt out & exhausted

Was he this un affectionate person before the I do’s and babies . If he was how could miss that . If they are like that before a kid its worse after a kid. Do not miss my kids dad one bit . He never changed unless forced and who wants to do that because it does not last long and all you live is in resentment of each other . Shame that he assumed you should never have a break or that sighing problem would make me close those legs permanently . That is the most unsexy thing anyone can do to each other . You had children and all he can think of is he needs the break . I see real men who come home and take a breather for a few minutes but jump right in there . Any man who needs to phone and computer instead of their babies is the problem. You can do all that without him . I would not be signing any paper since you have spoken to him and that sighing will never quit . I hope you if you want say this is it about fixing our marriage to a real one or we are not moving forward . All that sighing I think is him not wanting to be a part of being a man and father 24/7 . Good luck on your choice and blessings to you and your babies .

Ask the five year old to make toast for dinner while you sit in the kitchen supervising of course and use paper towels for plates. Ignore your husband.

He is not worth the heart ache. I had 3 under 3 and 2 step daughters and I was run ragged. If he doesn’t understand that you just don’t stay at home and watch soaps he’s not for you . Forget the house too! You do not need that house on top of everything else. He’s a fool, doesn’t know what he has!

1 Like

I left my husband one day to go do literally anything else and ever since then he has never given me any shit about being a SAHM.

Hopefully he would agree to counseling with you to improve communication and implement change in your relationship.

1 Like

Sounds like a sally. If he can’t come home and be a dad, he shouldn’t be a father

2 Likes

He works you don’t suck it up that’s how it works . Find your self a baby sitter during the day or deal it is what it is

Don’t ask… just hand the baby over & walk away

8 Likes

Ok, hear me out. Perhaps the problem is the fact that you guys are t having that intimate connection. He may be feeling resentful of you and the kids because he isn’t getting any while you’re not putting out because he is behaving this way. It’s a terrible cycle and it won’t end well.

You need to decide if you are just done with him or if you want to make things work. Marriage is a two way street and reading between the lines of this one side, I can see why he would feel neglected but not know how to express it.

4 Likes

Take every word you just said to us and sit his ass down and let him hear it without interrupting you! Then tell him change or I’m out!!! Period. He’s selfish ! He needs to man up and be a dad

Sounds like a POS…Don’t buy a house with him! Leave him. You’ll find someone much better. Good Luck

1 Like

That’s Bull! My husband and I had that similar set up, him working 5 days, and him working on the board for his trades Union, but he would get home, do dinner, hold the baby right after he showered (he worked construction at the time). Those kids are his too. He shouldn’t need to “chill” with a beer prior to tending to them :roll_eyes:

2 Likes

This is simple. Just stop doing things for him. No food cooking. No clean clothes. No clean bedroom.
When he asks what’s going on? Tell him you’re doing everything you can. But anything else is just too much and you can’t take care of the babies. The poor little fella has to get his priorities straight. He made the household, now he’s going to have to help sustain it. Time to grow up.

10 Likes

Raise your sons right ladies so that when they grow up they become great fathers and husbands!
I see so many posts like this and I honestly can’t help to think that all these men learned this kind of behavior at home. they think it’s normal to let their partners carry all the burden of parenting and home because they grew up watching that kind of family dynamic .
I’m honestly terrified for my daughters if most men are this way.
I’m so lucky to have an amazing husband who is active with the house chores and an amazing involved father but geez all these posts really make me nervous for my girls’ futures…

15 Likes

Leave than and why have another baby if he didn’t help with the first one?

1 Like

Unfortunately that’s the reality of motherhood

2 Likes

Dye your hair red, put on your tight jeans, and when he gets home one of those days tell him I’m going out. Make a plan with a friend and go shopping or out for coffee or drinks. Don’t ask, tell him that’s what your doing. Just try it once or twice, you’ll have your answer on your future. I don’t like men that don’t PARENT with their spouse. He’s unreasonable!!

16 Likes

Ummm…so I don’t really know how to say this in some like understanding manner… y’all need to bone, and bone hard and long. Like get a sitter for the night. Idk your family dynamics but your mom maybe? Anyway, y’all need a whole ass night of some passionate seggs and he won’t sigh as much and you won’t be all like “omg he sighed”. Like for real. That release and that togetherness and that bonding. He ought not be sighing but your also kinda all in your head
… Which I 100% understand. Just try a sexy night before listening to All these “leave him” comments.