So I am at a loss. I have a 13-year-old girl and an 11-year-old boy. They will not listen for anything. I tried taking their things and grounding them for punishment, and NOTHING works. They call me names and just don’t listen. Any suggestions are appreciated
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Is dad in the picture? Maybe dad can help out enforcing decipline around the house.
I would talk to dad and see if he can help
Go talk to your local police. An get them to do the grinding talk. It may help you out if dad not around…
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Call children & youth services. Find a boot camp program
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Take away everything. Just leave them with a bed and a few changes of clothing. Anything but food , shelter and basic clothing are privileges you privide. If they aren’t respectful no privileges.
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Whew that’s the rebel ages for sure!
Take away electronics or ANYTHING they are super attached to 
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Have they been asked how they’re feeling r why they’re acting that way? Sometimes they just want someone to listen or they want quality time.
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Whooping! I may be the only one who agrees with this but my kids get whooping with the belt if they act like that🤷♀️
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A good spanking always works, but if that’s not your style, I suggest squats. Hear me out. Have them hold the squat pose with their knees at a 90 degree angle with their arms straight out. On their arms, balance 2 or 3 large books, and they have to hold that pose for a length of time and the length of time depends on the severity of the thing they did. If they break this pose or drop a book, then they have to start over the time. Punishment and exercise.
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Run your house like a boot camp. Make them run laps, do push ups etc until they learn respect.
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Im sorry but my 13 year old son tried that with me and no his dad isn’t around. I took it to his ass hasn’t said anything out of place in over a year.(still gives me a bit of a attitude) but he knows I’m not playing anymore. Best bet is to whop their ass one good time. Mine also hated time in the corner with his Nickle. Had him put his hands behind his back an his head hold the nickle if he lets it hit the floor before his time was up it adds another 5 mins
Turn off the wifi or change the password!
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Thats what happens when you allow them to rule the roost when theyr little they become arseholes as they get older 
Dont buy them anything take there electronics dont let them run you or show it to them or your stuffed from here on out
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Both parents can’t be soft on the kids, one should be akony. If not they will get out of hand.
Bring them to uganda
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Exercise them make them join sports or other activities to keep them busy. Limit their screen time, not TV but phones, tablets, games etc.
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I have raised six kids in my life and I understand completely how hard it is to be a parent. All kids are different and what works for some definitely doesn’t work for everyone. I’ve went on strike on occasion to get them to do stuff for themselves and it took some time but eventually it worked for me. Let them know how hard it is to be a parent and having to do their own laundry and make their own food and all the other things they take for granted. Might help.
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Teach privilege vs need. Explain the hierarchy of the home, be consistent, follow through, no open end threats.
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Let them pick a switch off a tree and utilize it.
Quit doing stuff for them. No laundry, no cooking meals, no running places except school. Keep their stuff u took away. Give it away. Change password to wifi, no phone no internet no computer if u have one. I’d even take their beds, they could earn them back. If u don’t get this under control, they will only get worse…
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I may be the only momma to say this but beat this asses. They are not too old for spankings. Whatever you took keep. Make them do chores. I have a 14 and 13 year old step kids and they know better because they lose their things. Same with my own 8 and 5 year old. You need to put your foot down before things get out of hand. Keep strong momma you got this.
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Talking is the best way! I’ve got six kidos spanking doesn’t do crap just makes them hate you more. Talk have a one on one day doing something they like. I’ll tell you my daughter who is now 16 gave me a run for my money her hormones were way out of control. I never believed this would work but we got her on birth control patches an this helped with her mood a whole lot. Boys I’m still trying to figure out lol.
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Tear those butts up and make it count so they won’t want another.
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There’s nothing wrong with a good ol fashion butt whooping it’s discipline and sometimes kids need it
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Have u sat down and had a heart to heart talk to them. Talk about how it makes u feel and ask why they do this to you. They may be hiding there feelings from you and choose to disrespect you as a way of suppressing them.
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Bust that a$$ or call Jo Frost
Bust that butt one good time
Good ole fashioned butt spank might work, they being disrespectful wash mouth out with soap. Take away all electronics take it all but their clothes and bed.
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My kids did this to me until I only provided them with what they needed only so all of the things they didn’t need I took back like all of their electronics. They only had access to WiFi in order to do their schoolwork because they had to look up some answers from the internet. Once in a while they would ask me for things they really didn’t need and I acted as though I didn’t hear them. Then one day my oldest asked me why I was doing this to them and I explained I only have to provide them with their basic needs and if they want more they have to earn it back by doing the things they are supposed to do, their chores and school work.
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Start taking there shit away, if they can’t listen why bother them have stuff that you paid for. Don’t let them walk all over you
Spare the rod spoil the child.
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Took some time for them to get this way, will take some time to correct it. Sounds like they are begging for your undivided attention. Take extra time out to spend with them, ask them how their day was, etc. Eat dinner together. Lessen the amount of time for electronics and more together time.
Go old school, soap in the mouths every time they run those mouths, physical chores, mommy dearest
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When you say they’re not listening, are we talking school work? Chores? What’s going on exactly
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Be honest with what you want. When you say you want them to “listen” what you likely mean is you want them to “unquestioningly obey”. Call a duck a duck.
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Your kids are at an age where they are beginning to develop a strong sense of autonomy and desire for more freedom. The more you try to control them, the harder they will push back against you.
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Check yourself:
- are you speaking to them in a manner you would be okay with them speaking to you?
- are you listening to them and trying to understand their point of view?
- why is them “not listening” triggering for you? Are you scared for their safety? Worried about their health? Does them not listening make you feel out of control, so you punish them to regain a sense of control over your environment?
At the end of the day, respect and communication are two way streets. You will never get anywhere if you are viewing or treating your children as lesser. Kids who feel heard and understood have less to fight back against.
I saw this quote as an adult but it describes exactly how I felt as a teenager: “I wanted to die and you were too busy screaming about the dishes to notice.”
I’m not saying you are a bad mom, that your kids are mentally unwell, or anything like that.
I am saying that they are at a point where even if you were a helicopter parent (I dont know if you are, obviously) there is a lot you don’t know about what is going on in their lives and in their minds.
Give grace. Be patient. Model the behavior and communication you want to see from them.
That does not inherently mean drop or alter boundaries. Boundaries are non-negotiable. It means enforce them with love and apply logical consequences where needed.
(EX: if 11 refuses to take a shower, he cannot go out anywhere, because him being unclean is a hazard to other’s health and it’s unfair to expose others to his BO. Logical consequence.)
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A great thing I heard lately is; " there is so many parents trying to “discipline” children these days in different ways but so few wondering how to “support” the child."
There is normally a reason they act out in the first place. I find a quick chat about what’s going on and why there reacting those ways helps them think about there actions and how to work together better so there is less frustration!
If only it worked all the time. 
Lmao whoop their ass. Parents need to stop being so soft man omg.
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Put belt to ass. Works all the time
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Happy birthday enjoy to max live
Kick their asses. They’ll stop real fast.
I know the feeling… I’m going through the same stuff!
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Going through the same thing except mine are much younger and I actually found a chiropractor that specializes in kids with behavior issues and a developmental pediatrician to assist. Hoping all starts turning around
Take everything out of their room expect bed and 3 days of clothes
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A good ol fashion whoopin…
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They didn’t get here over night and it is not going to change over night. Start at the beginning. You say they don’t listen, listen to what? What examples do you and your husband set for them? They call you names? Do you call them names? Kids don’t spring out of the earth fully formed. They learned all this somewhere. So stop doing for them. Show them how to do laundry and stop doing theirs. Don’t make the food, let them make their own. Assign each a plate and cup to use and wash. You let this run far too long but you need to change your own behavior too.
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Sometimes positive reinforcement is the answer. Try rewarding good behavior. You could say if they are good all week they can get a reward on Fridays and if they are bad, take something away.
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Yep this is what happens when people don’t swat that bottom once should do it. This world is f***** parents let kids run them. Stop breeding if you can’t control kids. I didn’t say beat I said swat
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Do you yell or are you quiet? I’m a yelling mama my self but when I lower my tone my kids freak out
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The only items you need to provide for them are a mattress (doesn’t even need a frame), clothing (shoot you pick the worst they got), food (maybe even things they don’t like) and water. I’d be removing anything else out of their room and house. Tvs, games, dressers, toys, even DOORS (bathroom one has to stay lol). until you respect me in my house you get no rewards.
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Personally if my kids called me name I would be picking switches with their name on them
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My mother always used to joke with me as a tween/teen and would say teens they lose their brains 
they take it out and play with it until they hit age 20 and if they haven’t gotten it back inside of their head by age 25 they’re never gonna get it back lol 
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Time to whoop ass🤷♀️ maybe if you has them learn respect from a very young age you would not have this issue… home training starts as soon as you bring them home.
Beyond scared straight lol jk. The tv show
If i could i would for my kid
Simply treat them as you would an adult who behaves that way. They refuse to behave as children, let them know about responsibility of action. Start with a tenancy agreement and tell them to look for jobs if they want to eat and use electric
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If nothing else works use a switch belt whatever you got!!! I’m not saying beat them until it’s abuse or it’s leave bruises, one way of discipline may not work for the other but I agree with above comment if they can’t respect you take everything you gave them they can have a mattress a light and a blanket
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Take EVERYTHING. Give them their beds, their clothes and maybe books. No toys, no electronics, change the wifi password and don’t give it to them.
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I once took my son to the local police station and told him to get out of my car… he looked at me and asked why. I said because you don’t listen to me… go mouth back to them and see what happens… he pleaded with to not make him go… so I asked if he was going to listen now and he said yes… of course he was only six. But it worked wonders… never had a problem with him after…
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This is what my mom used and I’m fine.
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Do they have a phone? Video games? Tablet? Take them all.
Type up rules. Read them and discuss expectations with the kids. First keep those electronics on time out for a week. It will be rough. But stay firm. During that time is when you make rules and tell them if they don’t listen or follow through, the phone is taken again. And DO it. Completely follow through. Don’t give multiple warnings. When they get mad, refer to the rules.
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My parents would take everything away all I had was a mattress on the floor and my clothes in the closet. When they do something good reward them with something back when they disobeyed take something
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Seems like these kids never experienced a good old fashioned @$$ whooping. And I’m not saying snatch them up and beat them, but a spanking might do these kids a favor. You aren’t on this Earth to be your kids friends. If my kid called me names, I’d pop them one good time in the mouth.
It’s to the point now, if I pick one up they scatter like roaches and no I don’t beat my kids often
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I have three and mine are grown. I raised them by myself. I’ve been through this stage. Every stage presents a different level of parenting. Welcome to the hormonal stage! May be try to hang out with them and see what their interests are. Then may be they will start to listen to you a little bit. It’s really hard to say. May be go to a therapist. They can help you with this. I’ve had to do that a few times myself. Good luck!
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No drama disciple. This book is it.
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Sounds like they need a rude awakening! Send them to my house I’ll straighten them out
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A firm back hand in the face should do the trick!!! Worked for my mom and I never called her a name, I knew better!!!
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Change your WiFi password daily until chores/homework or whatever are done…or when they’re not listening. I have a friend who does this and it works like magic😊
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You know what worked for me and my brother? A good ol fashion ass whooping! Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in child abuse, but kids these days are a bunch of spoiled, entitled, whiny, sissy brats, mine included. My 7 year old has a problem with telling people to shut up and she hates them. She gets a warning. Then the TV goes. Then the tablet goes. Then she gets a crack across the ass. If I hear it again. I honestly think that these days taking possessions hurts kids more than a spanking, but there has to be a line of mutual respect between a parent and a child. They have to know that there are boundaries. You, as the parent, have to set the expectations and follow them. If you lay down the rules and punishments, you have to abide by them in order to have the kids abide by them. If bed time is 9pm and the kids aren’t in bed at 9pm tonight and you let it slide, you can’t expect them to take a punishment for not being in bed by 9pm tomorrow night. Set the rules, set the punishments, follow your own rules and enforce them. Be consistent.
We’re they disciplined as young kids, or is this new?That age can be tough…but if a stern foundation was set, it doesn’t have to be …just my opinion
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Sounds like they need a dose of exercise punishment. Push ups, 6 inch leg lifts, burpees, anything you can think of that will start to hurt after a while. We have our 9 and 10 year old doing exercise punishments and every time, their attitude changes and they realize they don’t wanna do whatever got them in trouble again. Pain is a good motivator.
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This is why ass whooping is important, not beating but a smack here and there man. Before this age. I would just tell them to not talk or ask for anything, stay stern and do nothing special. No laundry, not lunches packed, eat at school, you want dinner go make it, etc. Or like I’ve been seeing exercise punishment. That extra care and love you give, throw it out the window until they realize what you do is outta love not cuz you got too.
Yes no wifi, no cable, no cell phones, no game systems, she got make up and stuff? Take it! Them are all privileged things, not respect not privilege
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Take everything , you are the boss here, remember that. I raised 4 as a single mom. They are now 26, 23, 20, 15 and I have an 8 month old.
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The best advice I was ever given was from my 12 yr old son’s therapist. Make them earn their electronics and internet time. Of course, you need to start doing this by taking things away initially, but it works!
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I swear kids ears and brains are not connecteD these days. It must be a birthdefect we are missing in kids lol. I KID.
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Stop being a “friend” to your kids, put the belt on them and make them realize shit is not a game, being a kid and getting in trouble is Normal, calling their PARENTS names, that calls for an ass whoopin! I was raised being told to choose what I wanted my ass beating with (the list was not nice) and I still came out fine #growapairandbetheparent
Bend them over your knee, a few good swats never hurt anyone.
Soap in their mouth, and state you do not talk to me like that or this will happen again.
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All responsibilities come first. Studies, chores, get their butts outside. then they get time with tech.
You tirst take it all. Give em chore list.
You tell them if they’re butts want time on devices they earn it just like everyone has to earn their $$.
Once they’ve studied, done chores- if they dobt have an event like sports they need to get fresh air outside. Then to start they can get 30m on their device. Chances are they won’t like it. DO NOT ENTERTAIN AN ARGUMENT. They will try. Tell em to suck it up.
Stick to your guns.
Before you know it- their butts will listen.
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Does your husband call you names too? My ex use to so the kids picked it up. I left my ex and haven’t had an issue since.
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Sounds like some family time is needed . Sit in silence with them . Till you have talked it out. I would think getting them in the morning is your best bet and starting the day from that moment . Everything is taken away till they do what they need to. It’s best to give them a job daily for now till they get use to it. I go through this with my 13 year old but I get him doing things. So if u need more advice message me . It’s hard .
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Had my children called me out of my name, they’d need dentures. Whew Lord Jesus. 
There’s just some things that are not tolerated in my home. Disrespectful behavior is #1.
Discipline is FOR your children. Not too them. Ppl forget that.
At this point, take it all and stop giving it back. Take their doors too. They don’t need phones, laptops, gaming systems, etc…nothing but clothes and school items. Stop buying anything that isn’t required by law. Birthdays and holidays, they can vet books or new clothes.
Your best bet is to IMMEDIATELY find a child therapist. Like, now. It’s possible to retrain their behaviors but it’ll take work and your don’t have the tools to do alone. That’s ok. Get help and stick to it bc they didn’t get this way overnight. It won’t be fixed in a month either
-or, invite me over and let me hear it. Lol Ask my nieces and nephews what happens when they acted the fool toward their parents in front of me.
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Is this a new thing they are doing? If it has been allowed for a long time it will be hard to get them to stop. Your gonna have to be strong, firm, and most importantly consistent. Pick a day and have a family meeting. Go over the new house rules. If my kids sass they eat soap. I stick it in the mouth for a couple of minutes to get the point across. They have never called me names but if they did they would get soap and everything taken away and would have to do chores with no sassing to get them back. At least a couple days of chores and no friends. Also, do not get sucked into arguments with them. Do not take the bait you tell them what’s gonna happen and that’s it. No more discussion.
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Turn them over your knee whip their butt and put the fear of God in them. And tell him that you’re not going to talk to me that way
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Bootcamp! Seriously, my sister was sent to bootcamp when she was a teenager who was pretty mean to me and disrespectful to my parents. She came back a lot nicer. that was also 16 years ago
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It’s called parenting. Maybe try it
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Take all but their bed and 5 outfits also put them to work
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Take everything even their door…they will do jus Bout anything you ask to get it back…lol
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Also there are support groups on fb that will better help you, than bash/ mom shame you. Does your children have adhd or anyhing, look into groups on fb. Not saying thats what people are doing here, I see a lot of helpful, playful help on here as well.
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Smack them a few times.
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Why don’t you sit down with them and talk to them like they are human beings sometimes we forget and expect a lot from these kids but at the end of the day they are that just kids. You should explain to them that your struggling as well and that you need their help so that they can help themselves to become good adults one day.
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No I’m jk mine is 5 and doesn’t listen either 
#SOS
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It’s all about that ass whipping! Better do something, before they turn on you.
Be firm, do not waiver or give in, do not scream
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Most of the advice here is just awful. Using fear based tactics like hitting, taking everything away, boot camps, wasting police officers time, is just going to create a more difficult power struggle. You can’t demand mindless obedience from a pre-teen because their internal drive for autonomy is just too strong. Instead focus on connection, and getting them to develop the empathy required to actually want to listen, and to not hurt people’s feelings. How do you talk to them? Do you show interest in their lives? Do you stop what you’re doing and give them your full attention when they speak to you?
Include them in the decision making process by having family meetings to allocate chores (if that’s an issue), and asking thought provoking questions… a couple examples, ask them how they would feel if they were told that, and I’ll use chores again, (child is playing their video game) “Hey ____, can you pause the game just for a moment please, so we can chat? I’ve noticed the dishes are in the sink. This is the third time this week. How can we develop better ways to manage your time so that the dishes can be done and you still have time to play your game?”. And since auditory processing isn’t fully developed in the brain until 14 years old, always get them to repeat back a verbal agreement you make to ensure that they understood properly.
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A good ass whipping I’d say! Well thats in my house…
You’re not their friend. You are their Mother. They’re not going to like you & that’s normal for teenagers.
Take everything, I mean everything out of their room. Where they only have a bed & 1 outfit. Put it random bags. Trash & all in a black bag.
They can get their stuff back, 1 bag at a time. It could be a good bag or a bag with their garbage.
Don’t buy anything extra. No candy, no treats, no fun.
They can earn their stuff back as their attitude changes. If they dont change? They dont get their stuff back.
They’ll get some act right when they have nothing. If they dont? Well donate their stuff.
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This is crazy…
If I would have cussed at my mom at that age I would of ate my teeth…
Kids these days have NO RESPECT because somewhere along the way it became an issue to spank your children…
We had a caseworker tell my mom infront of us that she could beat us with whatever she wanted as long as it was on the behind and it wasn’t more than 2-3 spanks…
I personally don’t hit my daughter but my daughter has never did anything to make me what to… she knows I’ll take her games and the things she loves so she listens pretty good…
My step dad use to make me stand infront of a wall with my arms straight up for as long as he saw fit… if I dropped my arms he added 5 mins…
Look that shit was horrible… it hurt Soo bad but it worked. I’m the person I am today because of that man
I bet if you busted them in the mouth one good time that’ll put an end to all of that.
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