You’ve got to decide who is the parent and who is the child. Refuse to allow them to treat you this way. I agree with taking all away but basic needs. And yes and Spanking wouldn’t hurt but only as a last resort. They act this way because it’s allowed.
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Follow through with any threat, take time to really talk to them and LISTEN to what they are telling you as you would a friend and not just see them as a child with petty concerns. Take their concerns seriously and hold back judgment. Be kind when possible. They learned how to act many moons ago and the only way to change that is to act differently yourself and project to them what you would like to see back from them. Raise your voice only when emergent and ask them to answer you when you ask them why they feel it is okay to talk to you the way they do…LISTEN to their response that will tell you where you may need to adjust
I’m wondering- is this learned behavior? Do you have a spouse or someone of significance that treats you the same? That would be the first thing to address.
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They need there butts tore up
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Talking back to me got kids a pop in the mouth. You liberals don’t say anything to me!
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Take everything from them even the door on their room only provide a dry sandwhich for meals and a bottle of water. They get 3 outfits that you choose and 1 pair of shoes no tv no phone not even a bed nothing but what you are required to provide.which is food and water no snakes no desert none of that put a lock on your fridge they will straighten up. You have to be consistent or it wont work.
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How about put them in anger management classes I would make them MISERABLE!!! Ask dad to step in ??? I would make it KNOWN that not one more person would talk to me like that!!!
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Whip those little butts! Turn off the wifi. Make them work for access for their phones or tablets.
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Make them work for their luxuries. Even the Wi-Fi password. Hide the chargers. When they start showing more respect then reward them that way.
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Take them to the funeral home and let them look at dead bodies see if that will shake. Them
Take their bedroom doors off so they have less privacy.
In their bedrooms…remove EVERYTHING except a mattress. As for electronics…take EVERYTHING away from them. Then, give them a long list of chores to do - they more they do - they more things they can get back.
Definitely no cell phones, iPods, notebooks, computers!!!
Good a**whipping might do the job 
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Tough love is the best love.
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Ignore the name calling. The more you show how much it bothers you the more they do it
Have u tried spanking? I was raised up with spankings and it doesn’t teach ur kids to hit, all they will suffer from is something called RESPECT
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take them down to skid row…give them 5 bucks and instructions on how to get home…that should humble them…honestly, I raised 3 girls. They listen when they want. The one who didn’t listen is almost 30 and failing at life. I wish I had done the aforementioned, cause I don’t know how to save her now.
I’ve had a kid that was pretty defiant. After warnings, grounding him, taking everything out of his room including his bedroom door, I finally had enough after he got into a minor fight after getting off the school bus. His dad and I put him in the back seat of the car and drove his butt to our local police department. I went inside and explained to an officer what was happening and asked him for help. He says they don’t want kids scared of the cops in case they ever need help. I told him if he didn’t help me he was going to be seeing him in the future. Especially since he was in the parking lot with his dad. He would end up calling my bluff and I’d continue to have problems. I said u don’t have to scare him but explain to him where people end up for assault & battery. He agreed.
That talk he had with my boy helped a TON!!! The other minor issues we had I changed my way of discipline and started making the kids do physical workouts when they got in trouble. Running laps, push ups in the grocery store for acting up, sit ups, etc. If they were fighting with a sibling the sibling got asked how many laps the other kid that was being mean to them, had to run. I can say now my kids are 19,18, and 15 and some of the most respectful kids you would ever meet. Sometimes you gotta think outside the box.
After sounding like a drill Sargent outside while they ran laps my neighbors finally got used to it and seen for themselves how much my kids attitudes changed.
Keep your head up raising kids is tough.
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Boot camp or instead of taking phones, laptops etc and giving them back destroy them and tell them when they get a job they’ll have them. Stop buying top of the line clothing take them to good will. Cook whatever you’re gonna make for dinner and if they don’t eat; it’s their choice. You’re giving them the power over you. My 15yr old son still very respectful and if he makes himself something to eat he’ll make me something also. I laid down boundaries from the time he was old enough to understand which was about 2yrs old
Calling you names? Unacceptable!
Whip that tree switch out. Some kids need a good ole whooping. Or they will continue running over you
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Spank their asses and mean it.Spoiled kids turn into disrespectful adults.
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Beat that ass!! That’s what’s wrong with children these days the parents scared of DCF!!
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A good whack on the butt with a wooden spoon will teach them to respect you…
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Start by taking their stuff. Start with their favorite things, phone, tablets & TV’s etc…leave only the essentials mattress, clothes in a box…
Whooooop that azzzzzz
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The problem with kids this age they were NEVER punished when they were little. They ran things then and are going to run things now unless parents get very hard with them. A back hand across the mouth and a belt across their little butts. They will learn fast
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Tough love is needed. The ages need a parent, rules, restrictions, boundaries, etc. They may hate you now, but when they grow up even in a few years, you will be glad. You can be their friend again in a fee years. They don’t need to like you, they need to respect you, maybe even fear you.
I presume you mean that they will not do as they are told. If they are 11 and 13, obviously you have no control. I have no idea how to regain it now, really!!
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Give them a bed and their clothes and a lamp till they start acting right. Teaching (training) a kid does happen when they are young but got dang what you can do with a few well placed reminders.
It’s called tough love. Respect is earned, it is not a given. If they dont listen, try another method. When they ask you for things, just ignore them and they will soon get the message. Dont cook for them, dont wash their clothes, dont pander to their every need and boy what a difference a day makes. If that fails a good swift slap, should do the trick. Too many ppl think that appearing in court is a no go, but it is enlightening, because then the judge understands, what you have to put up with and make a determination based on fact. Take the kids with you, so they too can understand the full extent of the crime.
You shape your child’s character (respect for elders, kindness, empathy, ect.) from 2-8 years old. From then on they take what you created, or didn’t create, and build on top of it. If you do not invest that time in your children while they’re are young you will have to live with what you created when they are older.
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Listen to them. Sit down with them and really listen. Bite your tongue and just be non-judgmental and listen. Once they can gain Trust that you are listening to them and acknowledging their feelings. They will start to listen to you. But first you have to listen to them.
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Not knowing exactly what’s going on, it’s a little harder to advise. Has there been any changes? Have they been cooped up? Something is likely bothering them. Are you able to spend one on one time with them? Children can often act out and receive negative attention just to simply get attention. A punishment will only go so far if the underlying issues aren’t resolved. This issue is harder when they’re older. When punishing you need to target something specific to them. Something you know they enjoy. Early bed time, no screens, grounding, ect. Then take each of them aside and just talk. Take a drive or something where you can be alone with each. Let them say the things they need to say. You’ve got to find a way to get them to open up and freely tell you what they are feeling without fear of yelling, punishment, and judgment. Find a healthy outlet for them when you find out what the issue is. Like a you can be upset, but you cannot go around treating people like that. Tell them when they are in that mood, mabe take a shower. You can yell, you can swear, you do what you need to do so long as when you come out, that attitude is washed down the drain. Then either let them go about their buisness or be open to talk if they’ve got something to say. Is puberty in play here? Cause if that’s a factor you really want some healthy outlets and frequently level with them. Discipline is taught at a young age. There are different kinds of acting out. If none of this works I suggest mabe some counseling to teach them healthy outlets and have someone to talk to. Structure your home, give em a schedule. Mabe while grounding them give a list of chores. Mabe getting up at 730 on the weekends to do yard work. That’s the best I got with the info I have. Good luck, stay strong!
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Stick to your guns, consistency is key. Also ask them what’s wrong, open the lines of communication with love 
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The stricter you are the more the kids act out. I’ve always found the stricter parents have the worst kids.
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So my father never spanked. BUT he believed on physical punishments. For example push ups and laps and holding canned good with our arms out straight. EVERYTHING taken away minus my clothes and bed. He went full boot camp on my butt. I was raised tradionally but them teenage years I was stubborn . I learned I could be smart and strong or dumb and Really strong
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I can’t even imagine. 
You can’t start now at 11 and 13. Disciplining starts when they’re little. Try taking them for a trip to a boarding school or maybe a trip to Juvie to scare them.
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Get a switch, and sting that butt a little bit…always worked when I was growing up…didnt kill US…won’t kill THEM either.
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Strip them of everything except three hots and a cot.
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1- negative attention is when a child is seeking attention but by doing things that are considered “negative” bad behavior (talking back, hitting, etc) maybe they just need a little personalized attention each child.
2- instead of taking toys away or hitting butts,( they are older and defiant) have then give there toys away to a child in need personally hand they those items. Or take them away and have them earn them back with house old work, small teen jobs(car wash, walking dogs, trash).
3- communications around this age as w a young girl your life changes and body also, maybe things at school social wise have changed. Sit and talk with with kids boys and girls in this age range go thru changes.
4- if no one can communicate property face to face have each other write a letter addressed to the person they need to express there issue with.
5- also at these ages some times mental health crisis develop( early teens to late twenties)
6- all else treat them as I do my son whose autistic if we can’t listen and behave we stop what we are doing and sit still and wait till we are being good and continue our activities. If your kids are acting out let’s say while driving to the grocery store you pull up to the store but sit in the car until everyone is ready. Also sometimes kids are just bored and need to be busied with constructive activity made to feel important and help out.
7- maybe have them volunteer in your local school with the special needs classes( have them read books or help out if allowed) teaches them to be kind, patient, and about differences.
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Going through that with my grand son.who is staying with me.
My youngest tried the “I Will call the cops if you try to spank me” well…guess what? She got her mouth smacked…
packed up her clothes in a trash bag and told her she was out if that came out anymore. That was the 90s though.
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Whisper and don’t hear their wants
It’s about to late when they get to be teenagers if haven’t practiced fearful discipline when they where younger 2 to 4. Now it could be to late and you have to live with your decision of not putting a little fear in the them of your authority while they where little. We create the monsters by little chats and trying to be there friend instead of their parents. My kids didn’t turn out the best but they fear authority and haven’t been in a trouble yet !!
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i would love to be super nanny lol but seriously theres no such thing as bad parenting if your trying dont beat yourself up stand by your word though and pop them in the mouth for talking crazy also make them squat on the wall if your against pooping thw in thw mouth get a hand full of rice grains and make them kneel for 5 mintus they really hate physical lol
Take away everything they got, no more friends, make them suffer…in a reasonable manner…or your going to have real problems in a couple yeara
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They need spankings.
Get a belt and whip that ass
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Lawd have mercy… Whoop they ass!!! And if they wanna be lil A holes and call dcf… Let them take em… If i ever disrespected my mama she would of snapped my neck!! I wish my kids would try me like THAT… Id beat they ass till the cows jumped over the moon!!! GMFU.