Absolutely not wrong, your husband needs to step in and straighten your son up then his mother. You deserve respect from both of them. Your the mother not her. Keep your son at home.
1 Like
My adult son told me to eff off. His Dad didnât do anything about it.
Iâve never been married so I donât have a MIL to deal with.
Just dealing with his father is bad enough.
Do you people think his dad should step up and help me with his disrespectfulness?
Okay okay this is my take on it, I am a mother-in-law and I say what I want just like my daughter-in-law we buttheads but itâs always so much more fun when I can look back and see everything I told her was going to happen. She and her children of value the almighty dollar over happiness. When is 7-year-old throws a fit because you donât buy her what she wants and thatâs ridiculous yet the 2-year-old gets treated totally different and gets spanking. All Iâm saying is she needs to either treat them the same or something because she is raising two little brats. And itâs all going to blow up in their face. I should know been there done that. Thatâs the only reason we can say what we do is because we are trying to spare them the pain.
So my mil didnât like me in the beginning and made my life hell with my husbands kids - until I stood up for myself AND MY HUSBAND. We didnât speak for years - he did to her but not me. Now she doesnât mind me as much since the other dil **ed up royally 
My point is for some folks there is no pleasing them and they want ever like u for you.
Iâd give my husband the chance to address the issue first (with son and mil) if he didnât then I would certainly put her back in her place.
No, not wrong at all. You have talked to her about this before, and sheâs not respecting the boundaries. So youâre having to take another measure to ensure she does. Not wrong at all. Youâre being a real mother, standing her ground. Proud of you. MILâs can be so difficult, mine is too
I have been going through this issue since my daughter was born almost 8 years ago. If your husband is anything like my husband, he wonât stand up to his mother and put her in her place like he needs to. Even if he does, you will always be the one to blame because thatâs just the way it goes with these type of mother in laws. Unfortunately you guys have been letting her get away with it for so long that she probably feels entitled now like she really does have some type of say so in the matter. My mother in law has always disrespected me and acted like she has the right to decide how our child is raised. Finally after a couple pretty bad situations I decided it was time for me to stand up to her because whatever my husband was doing just wasnât getting us anywhere. (He never really stood up to her the way he should have) We set up a time to meet with her while the kids were at school and went to have a talk with her. She got defensive and told us that she is the grandma and will do whatever the hell she wants with her granddaughter no matter what we say. I laid it out for her pretty bluntlyâŚI asked her if she wanted a relationship with her granddaughter. Her answer was yes, so I told her in order for that to happen she has to respect our parenting and support us in the things that we expect when it comes to OUR child. She has to stop being disrespectful to us in front of our daughter and stop teaching her that it is ok to disobey her parents just because granny doesnât agree. Unfortunately, she said she would absolutely not do that and that she just didnât care what we say. Of course all the issues with her are my fault even tho I have never been disrespectful to her or caused any problems. She kicked us out of her house and said we are out of line and disrespectful. We havenât heard from her since then. No apology, no trying to have anything to do with her granddaughterâŚnothing. We laid out what we expected and she refused so at this point there is no contact with her and no relationship unless she can change the fact that she thinks she is Queen and rules everyone around her. She is not a nice person and if she isnât in charge or we donât go by her views then we get treated like crap. I hate that it is that way because my daughter is the one that has to miss out, but it obviously wasnât that important to her because she decided to have nothing to do with us instead of supporting us. Itâs been over a month and there has been no attempt from her to even try to fix things. My father in law did the same exact thing and when my husband simply asked him not to favor one child over the other, he decided not to have anything to do with any of us. Itâs been almost 3 years since weâve had any contact with him. Sometimes you just have to put a stop to everything and hope that they come around.
Itâs called living with a teenager. Grandma is just being a grandma. Have her son explain to her next time the kids calls, tell him he can come for a weekend visit but cannot live with her. Since we donât know your whole life story you & spouse need to talk to each other.
Your biggest problem is letting him talk back to you in that way. Your husband needs to tell his mother to but out. If he is old enough to get a job he should. Let him pay for his extras like phones.
Let them realize that your child needs an attitude adjustment. Let her see it. He wonât be respectful to his grandma neither
After dealing with my son I would have told my
Mother in law to get the hell out my life.
That will be the end of the marriage if that continues.
1 Like
Shut the kidâs phone off until he has a better attitude!
6 Likes
This is a job for you husband - not you! He is the one who says the two of you (them mom and the dad) are who is going to raise the kids. If that mean they donât get to see her or talk to her - then it is her fault and not yours. If you husband wonât talk to her than you have a real problem! Surely he can see what is going on. I will tell you, when I was young I did not always agree with my Mom, but I did not talk back to her. In my day as a kid, Mom was the boss and I was taught to respect that. Do you and the kids go to church? That might help a whole lot. I also remember when I got older and had children I thought to myself âgee Mom was rightâ. All three of my children now tell me âYep Mom your were right.â So donât worry too much that you are doing the wrong things, as long as you are sure of what you are doing is right. Someday they will grow up and tell you âMom you were right!â
Your husband and you need to communicate with the grandparents. Not communicating is one if the worst things you can do as a parent.
Itâs up to your husband to put her in her place.
Iâm guessing the both of you took vows! And Mother in law was listening.
Keep your own council. They are your kids and they need to learn how to respect you Tell her if she wants to see them then she will have to abide by your rules where your kids are concerned. And your son needs a smack in the mouth for talking to you that way
You are not wrong in feeling the way you do. Those are your children, not hers and she needs to mind her own business!
I donât know how old your teenage son is but Dad needs to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. If he disrespects you, heâll probably disrespect a future wife. As for mother-In-law, your husband needs to talk to her as well, in a kind way.
3 Likes
First, Iâm sure you have talked to your husband about this, and about what your son called you. What does he say about it, and what did he do, when your son called you these names. Does he feel like heâs in the middle of this. He should be putting his foot down to his mother. He should tell his mother to stop trying to tell His kids, to come live with her. You are his wife, and they are his and your kids, Not hers. I think she wants to make things worse for you and your husband. I would not let your children have any contact with her, until she can stop all this crap. You and your husband need to agree on this. Your husband, should stand by his wife, which I would think he would. I have heard of nasty mother in laws, but this one sounds like the mother in law from hell⌠LoL⌠You are doing the right thing, Let your husband tell her, she canât see the kids, until she gets her act together. That will fix her butt. I would make sure that the kids donât even talk to her, because she could be putting stuff in their heads, which could be why they are being nasty to you. Just saying.
Your absolutely right and both you and your husband need to confront her and tell her if it continues she will no longer be able to have contact with them for a length of time . And stick to it
No way should you allow your children to be disrespectful to you. BUT you are an adult and should act like one. Therefore you should not be lowering yourself to the same level as your disrespectful children. This is undoubtedly why they do NOT respect as a parent. I wish you had stated what their fatherâs position was in this matter, and how the children respond towards him, or if he is even in the home. But in no way should their grandmother have suggested the child(ren) move in with her. This simply belittles your authority as their parent and acts to further alienate your child(ren). The grandmother should not be allowed to have contact with your child(ren) if this is the way sheâs going to conduct herself. I see where some have suggested a summer trial separation, but Iâm donât believe in awarding bad behavior. Besides if you should allow them to stay with the grandmother, things could go great for them and you may have a problem getting your child(ren) back when the time comes. Stricter rules is whatâs called for, particularly when it comes to respect, for as long as they live under your roof or as long as your husband and you are footing the billâs for their shelter, food, phone and medical care. IF after these changes have been implemented and your children do not improve, which they may not as theyâve been allowed to misbehave for so long, there are boot camp type places that you may want to check out. Unfortunately I suspect you spared the rod too long. A spanking for misbehaving youth(s) most likely would have prevented your grievances now.
âHe that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.â
- Proverbs 13:24 KJV.
From now until you leave this world, you need to start praying Godâs will on your child(renâs) lives daily.
May God bless you, your children and your home.
In Jesusâ name I pray. Amen.
Why do they have phones,any electronic devices, vehicles or anything other than clothing, food, and bedding if they cannot treat you better than that? That is what mine got when they decided they were going to tell me what they would and would not do. They earned things back, along with privileges as the showed responsibility and respect. It worked. They turned into decent human beings who were thoughtful and loving and responsible.
1 Like
SOUNDS LIKE YOUR MOTHER IN LAW IS THE LEAST OF YOUR PROBLEMS. YOUR SON TELLING YOU TO SHUT THE *Up in your house where you allow him to live should be your biggest concern
1 Like
Tell your mother in law to either mind her own business or she wonât see her grandchildren.
1 Like
Ohhhhhhh my kid uses that word to me like that⌠ohhh no no no no⌠if im paying for cellphone/service, gaming, car, gas⌠etc⌠welll guess whos walking and doesnt have a phone to call a friend. I do not care what the context is. He can go live with gma, and she can take his bills too. You are your childs biggest cheerleader. If you do not teach him respect for you, he wonât have it for a spouse or their own kids⌠if he wouldnt walk up to a comolete stranger and be that bad⌠why on earth is he saying it to someone he loves?
1 Like
I say get your husband to be a big boy and tell his mother to back off
1 Like
First and foremost, his teeth would be on the ground.
Not at all you are there mother ans she needs to respect that. If she loves and cares about them she will be grandma and not try be there mom. Your husband needs to discipline them they need a belt to there ass. Take there phones away do whatever donât give in to them if they get mad and upset. They will get over it. They need to learn how to respect there mom and dad. And your husband needs to be there and draw the line with his mom . its about you and him and your kids not anyone else.
From a grandmothers point of view, no you shouldnât keep them away. And depending on what age of a teen he is unless sheâs really far away and heâs not driving yet, I donât really think you could. But you were right in not wanting him to say that to you, unless you talk to him that way then you will have to expect him to not respect you. Your mother in law should have told your grandson. Let me talk to your mom and get her side of the story before she said he could come live with her and then again he might be playin ya both
Iâve had to bite my lip a few times ⌠seriouslyâŚgrandparents: butt out
Let them go. Live your life. For real, if you keep your boundaries for yourself, youâll be so much happier.
Your husband should talk to her and he should set his foot down with the son. No child should talk that way to a parent or anyone.
1 Like
Youâll have to take your sons phone away from him til he learns what gores on in this house stays in this house,
You home=your rules. You nád to set rules and lumits to be satisfactory in your home. MIL needs to butt out until you are comfortsble with the boundaries
I think this is the last place to come for advice.
1 Like
Nope but set your boundaries with your kids too
When did said child feel it is ok to curse his parents? Asking for a friend.
Keep in mind it is a moment. You donât have to tolerate such behavior and she wouldnât either.
I would really seek some professional advice on this - attorneyâs advice as well as a counselor. An attorney can write a cease and desist letter and a counselor can make professional suggestions. No one should side with a disrespectful child.
A word of advice, teenagers have a way of playing both sides against each other.
You donât need any advice you need a belt to whoop his behind,
As a grandma to 7 between 4yrs and 17âŚI will be the first to tell you that no grandchild of mine would be allowed to speak to their parent like that and come running to me. Iâve heard some of my grands speak rudely to their parent and have told them they shouldnât do that and in fact have said that if their dads had ever talked to me in that manner I would have beat their butts. I love my grands dearly but do not condone disrespect.
2 Likes
Some people do not know what boundaries are.Sometimes you just have to talk with them and let them know your expectations. Parents do not read minds.
Life longâŚunless you put your foot down. She is disrespecting you and she has no right to do that.
What the dad saying??? He needs to back YOU up, kids have to learn consequence for their actions
Your husband needs to be the âMANâ of the house & put his mother in her placeâŚNOW!!
1 Like
He told me to shut the F up I would have knocked him over thereâŚany MIL who interfere needs to be shut oit
Is she gonna send him back when he tells her to shut the fâ/ up? Iâd ask her.
Your son has no right to talk to you that way. Sit him down and talk calmly. Explain why. Now, where is your husband? He should be on your side and tell his mom to stay out of it.
ummm no. block her number from your kids phones (call the phone company) and talk to your husband. he needs to help or just cut her off completely
You should not have to tell her, but your husband should.
Parents are first always.
Take the phone, and set the boundaries if your hubby wants to have them go with gma then he can go to
The bigger problem is you allow that behavior from your son! Where is his father in all of this???
Why does she not even mention her husband? Is their dad not there?
1 Like
You need to talk with your husband first.
5 Likes
Time to tell your husband to either back you up, or go live with his mother!
MIL is the kind that says jump every one says how high and how far.
Woah I would be livid if my mother in law child to take one of my babies from me teenager or not this is way out of line, what makes it even worse is she told him that behind your back
Yes mother in law needs to butt out .
If this donât work move out of state after your son sees the dentist .
1 Like
Tell your mother-in-law to stay out of it. She is jeopardizing your parenting! If your husband and mother-in-law disagree, kick them both out.
Those are your kids not hers tell her to mind her own business
What her son doing about his momma?
You cant get opinions based on just hearing one side of the disagreement
You are not wrong.
If you let this go now it only snowballs from here.
Thereâs 2 sides to a story. We are only hearing oneâŚso nobody should have an opinion.
Where is your husband? If he wonât stand up for you, you are in troubke.
This family could use some family counseling. I think that would help them a lot.
1 Like
I was wondering, did he text her before or after you knocked him across the room?
2 Likes
Maybe she was only kidding?
Did you tell her your boundaries?
I think Hubby needs to tell his Mom to stay in her lane!
1 Like
She sounds great. However, the jury is out on you. 
Your husband should step in.
Just come out and tell her.she may get mad but she will get glad.
2 Likes
Husband needs to step up.
2 Likes
NOPE gotta have boundaries !!! Experience speaking 
Good luck
You are NOT wrong. Period. She needs to back the heck off!
Sheâs the grandma. Let him vent to her. It will be ok. Nog to live thereâŚ
No. I would tell her to zip it. She raised her kids and those are yours to raise. Be a grandma or enjoy the silence.
6 Likes
Read Boundaries. It is written by professional counselor. Dr Henry Cloud . Your husband needs to speak to his mother . It is his mom .
Boys treat their Mothers like husbands treat their wivesâŚ
Tell to get out more, not her place to say that, take his phone,
1 Like
Stand your ground. Get a restraining order on her
1 Like
let him go he will be back and sorry he went
1 Like
She needs to butt out!
1 Like
Take his phone away from him. At least temporarily.
Tell you son Not to carry family business outside the house!!
#1 : Your child should NEVER TALK TO YOU like that.
You have lost control of your child already. Forget MIL get your child under control NOW.
2 Likes
Ha ha, she will not keep tht grandson long, hell let it go, when he disrespects her, sheâll try to send him back.
Touchy subject- milaw should keep her nose out
1 Like
Mine would have been eating that phone if he d said that to me
1 Like
Why is he permitted to speak that way to you? He went to his room and texted her. In my house, the door would be off the hinges, phone locked up, and all screens off limits until he learned some respect.
2 Likes
You hubby needs to get involvedâŚseriously
Stay out of your kids business. I do.
2 Likes
take phone or donât pay for it
2 Likes
Two separate issues. MIL and child.
1 Like
Nope keep ur kids away from ppl like that !!!
kid dont always get it
I just told my 19 year old what your son said and he wanted to know if he was alive⌠my kids would never ever ever⌠you and your husband have got to get your kids on a respect level and be on the same page. As for granny⌠thatâs called kidnapping. 
2 Likes