Change what you think but change it for another man to appreciate. This guy may have a whole different motive on why he broke up with you. Y’all need a move out date that you can be comfortable with if you don’t get back together or if someone finds someone new. You’ll have a date in place that has nothing to do with a new relationship and k having the other stuck or behind in bills.
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Definitely try marriage counseling but I highly suggest moving out, that will tear you apart and won’t help anything. On the plus moving out may help bring you guys back together if you have that break.
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First off abuse of any kind is not ok.
There is ways out. But first you need to ask yourself why you want man who clearly doesn’t want you. The fact he puts this on you, sorry it takes 2 to make or break a relationship/ marriage. I promise you, you will survive this with out him. You need to love yourself
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If he is done, why does he want to stay there. Sure there is the whole “for the kids” but perhaps it’s so he gets the freedom to do what he wants without the inconvenience of moving etc. Marriage takes two people to make it work but now this divorce is just your fault. You didn’t tell us what you did wrong? Without that it’s hard to to give advice. For example, if you cheated, we could understand why he is done. We know too little.
You have to respect yourself and have some pride. He doesn’t want you. He has to move. Or you move…for the sake of the kids. Staying in one house will be worse for the kids.
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Sounds like he has a side chick. Definitely move out with the child
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Sorry that you have to endure this will keep you in prayer…
It takes 2 make a marriage and 2 to break up a marriage; if he’s not willing to work on it then he’s already moved on. Don’t stay together because of the kids because your only causing more stress not for you but most importantly your kids. Separate, divorce, mend your heart and mind then live your life happily ever after.
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If he is done and it’s really over, You should separate and get divorced and move apart. If you continue living together it will confuse you and not allow you to move on. It will also confuse the kids and make them feel responsible for your marital problems/status.
You cannot uphold and maintain a marriage alone. If the other person no longer wants to do their part and grow into a better relationship with work and time.
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Lmao stay living together ? Yeah no , tell him he can leave period .
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Living together after a divorce, you my dear deserve do much more. Kick him to the curb
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My dear speaking from experience this is not a good idea yes its sad and very hard but in order for you to heal he must moove out
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Leave…you’ll be fine. Your stronger then you know
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Personally o don’t think continuing to live together is healthy for you or the children. You will never let him go first of all by continuing to live together.
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Oh darlin… i felt i HAD to stay with my son’s daddy bc i didnt want him growin up in separate homes… but the two of us were miserable… it wasnt til we had a “come to jesus” meeting HE initiated that we decided to be friends with a baby (and its been workin for us, we are an oddity i feel as neither of us did anything to hurt the other, just our mental states and needs separated us but we coparent well and I’m grateful we are in the friend zone). NOW, your story seems one sided; he wants out and you dont… if it will make things harder emotionally for you, i think its best to have separate households. The kids will pick up on the turmoil between the two of yall and the tension. Its better to be apart and happier than if under the same roof and miserable
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Go to the doctors for Florextine(prozac) it will help you to stop crying. Get a bit angry. Theres going to be another woman. Sorry but it’s always the same story.Look after yourself, remember to eat. Dont cook for him, or do his laundry. We all feel your pain. Remember Florextine. And dont cry again, and dont let him see you if you do.
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It takes time, but there is light at the end!! May take months or even longer… but it gets better. If he is done, let him go. You can’t control his feelings. Just be a good mama and focus on the kids. You got this.
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Take it from a child of parents that “stayed together for the kids.” It’s a helluva lot worst if you stay together in a toxic relationship than if you divorce and live separately. Trust me. I’m the poster child for why you shouldn’t stay together for the kids. It’s not good for anyone involved, ESPECIALLY the children.
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If he can’t accept his responsibility in your relationship and puts all the blame on you,how healthy is that? Living together for the kids is teaching them toxic behavior is the norm. If he wants to divorce then go get you a lawyer draw up your own before ever signing his. He lives there he doesn’t or won’t have to pay you child support. You will be primary caregiver of said children (?) and he will live his life as he chooses and the mental and verbal abuse will not stop. He wants out,let him go. You over time will heal and begin to learn this is not healthy or beneficial to you or your children, only him. Please do not sign anything under duress let a lawyer look over things. A consultation is generally free. Prayers sweet lady.
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Never change yourself to please anyone. How dare he treat you like this. I know you wont believe it now but your better off without this shite of a husband. Really hope you find your own happiness 
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Unfortunately, I think living together while separated and/or divorced for the kids is a big mistake. Especially because you clearly love him. I think either you or him should move out. You need to start healing in order to move forward. It’ll be the only way you will get through it.
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Do not. REPEAT DO NOT live in a house with him " for the kids" when you are done, your relationship is done. He’s getting the perks as are you of marriage, while saying you are single???
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Go get a makeover dress up nice sexy and go out with your friends and ignore him will get his attention
If he’s done, don’t live together. It muddies the water.
Now, if he’s verbally abusive, is that what you want your children to see? Really??? 
What do you love, exactly?
Move out, let him move out. Get yourself into therapy and move on toward a healthy relationship.
The pattern you’re teaching your children is toxic.
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Staying in the same house"for the kids sake" is not going to benefit them if your always arguing or if he’s verbally abusive & gaslighting you If he’s said hurtful things then you need to tell him what he did and said to hurt you wrong two wrongs don’t make a right. Even if you change and try to work things out he clearly won’t change and if you’re not enough for him then someone else will treat you better. If he is done then all you can do is move on. Don’t focus so much on your relationship with him your kids are the most important. If you need to make parenting arrangements then that’s what you need to talk about … Eventually one of you will need to move out
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As soon as you say fine then he will be like oh wait she’s gonna be able to get over me and will want you back… at least that’s what narcissistic people do
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It wasn’t easy for me, but l’m glad my ex left, it was the best move( it hurt but after a while you’ll get over it. He probably has another woman already & you don’t even🤷♀️. Keep it moving
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I was in the same boat a year ago. Move out and move on. At the right time the most perfect man will walk into your life and sweep you off your feet. Just do it. You are stronger than you know. Don’t stay together for the sake of the kids.
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Something is wrong with this picture. Staying for the kids? He’s staying so you can continue to wash his clothes, keep house and be his maid while all the time he is free to do as he pleases and keep using you.
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It’s okay for anyone to be done.
What is not okay is for him to solely blame you on the marriage’s demise.
What is also never okay is to be verbally abused by your spouse.
Give yourself time to go through all the feelings.
Try not to be around him, don’t sleep in the same bed/room and definitely don’t let him use you for sex.
Don’t stay living together if you don’t have to financially.
Get yourself some counseling if you’re consumed by all this.
There truly are better days ahead…
Girl get him out! Out of site out of mind. It’s going to be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do but you can and will get past him. Stop changing for him and do changes for yourself. Make yourself feel better. Find things to do that you lived to do but don’t anymore. Let him go and find yourself. If he’s stays all he will do is make you more miserable.
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Sounds like he has someone lined up, why he wants to get an divorce so fast. It just takes time, one day at an time. One day you’ll find someone who will treat you like an queen that you deserve to be treated like. Verbally abuse is wrong and you’ll start believing what he saying is true but it’s far from the truth. You and your babies don’t deserve that!!
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He has someone else, I know you love him but choose YOU GIRL! Cuz he damn sure isn’t
You can’t make someone love you. And living together if your not going to be together probably won’t work
jus give him space, once he realizes that he had someone soooo good, someone that was there for him since day one. Someone who is loyal & trustworthy, and someone who birthed his children. He’s gonna wish he stayed. Go get a haircut, dye your hair, doll yourself up, go out have fun. Lol make him keep the kids for the night & have fun before you have the kids all day & night
In relationships, someone is always still caring rarely does both stops go lick your wounds for a while shake it off, and come out fighting do not keep living with him and giving him the gold…
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You’re not going to get over him if you’re still living with him… it don’t make sense that you guys are still living together if the relationship it’s done and over with… don’t be kissing his ass girl… do you!!! … seek a psychiatrist for your mental health…
Get your own place asap. Hugs!
If he says he is done, believe it and start working on your future self, just think, maybe some of the best days of your life haven’t even happened yet!! You will find yourself in this … and that’s an important part of life, let go
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What ever you end up doing. Don’t make the children human volleyball’s. It’s not for any of us to say. Go see a counselor they’ll get you on the right track. You have to set your mind straight. Dont beg him to do anything.
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The best help is a marriage counselor or a therapist who is unbiased and is not out to take sides. Both party’s also have to accept the end conclusion and or suggested steps to take in resolving the ultimate issue (s). That doesn’t sound like a good idea to stay in the house for the sake of the children. You don’t say the age of the children… but don’t kid yourselves. Those kids have already picked up on your mental and physical ‘ separation ‘ no matter what their age. See moms tears or sad face. No … not good. Need to separate. Husband should ManUp and move out.
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First off ask yourself how is it your fault? Why does he want the divorce? How is stay living together beneficial for the kids when there is no love being shown for each other? Why stay with someone who abuses you? That just shows the kids it’s ok to be mean to whoever they are or will be with in the future. If some of it’s your fault which it does take two to make or break a marriage what part? And I agree with a lot of the comments above. Stop crying show strength not weakness. You are just giving him what he wants. I don’t have no kids but I was with an alcoholic for 16 yrs I lost myself in those yrs bc I loved him and I thought that it was all gonna be ok with the verbal abuse and the name calling and the drinking. He cheated too but I thought I could be strong enough to take it all but lost all of me in the process. Until one day I met the man I was gonna be married to someday and today I am married to that man. My point is you will lose yourself if you don’t stay strong and move him out or you and the kids out. Good luck dear. I pray for you to find peace.
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Your not never going to get over him living in the same house who’s idea was that ? Sounds like it’s more for your sake than the kids sake to continue living together if his verbally abusive why you would to take the risk of your children potentially witnessing that.
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Go to marriage counseling first before divorce you need to try
Get away from him as soon as you can. Kids need separate time from him too. He’s not going to get better. He will likely become more abusive.
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If you’re happy, so will your kids be. Staying together for the sake of the kids, doesn’t work. Being verbally abusive is as bad as physical. Worse, in front of the kids (learned behavior). Since he wants the divorce , then “HE” can move. And pay child support. Why uproot the kids & their routines? (As to the advise to get your kids & leave)Unless there’s no other option. Neither one of you can move on under the same roof. Prayers for your strength 
in choosing what’s right for you & your kids. 
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Don’t live with him, yous may think it’s for the good of the kids but it won’t be. Yous will be arguing in front of them and even though their kids they’ll still be able to tell something is wrong. If he’s disrespectful towards you the kids will pick up on that and think it’s ok to act like that toward you
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Look up gaslighting and narcissistic tendencies.
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He wants to stay living together because it’s easier for him. It’s not respectful of you, the situation or the kids. Get out find your happy because this IS NOT it.
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Don’t live together. It’s not good for the kids because you’ll be miserable, especially when he brings a girl home. It was hard for me to move on when my ex husband wanted a divorce. He blamed me too but he had a side piece. Move out, get some counseling and slowly move back into the dating pool and you will move on in time. Living with him will make it take much longer.
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You shouldnt stay in the same household,not healthy for you and your kids.
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If it’s for sure done then you would need to be apart. Living together would be harmful and toxic for both of you AND the kids if the relationship is not there anymore. You’ll never be able to heal and get over him if he’s still in your home.
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Absolutely do not stay living with him, if he wants a divorce he can leave or y’all can sell the house. I do not doubt he wants the easiness of you being there and to go out and sleep with other people. It is also a really horrible environment for the kids to be in and it’s not in their best interest at all.
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Why is he done 
is the question
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Do not stay in the same home as him he wants his cake and eat it too.
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Get out now. Don’t put your children through that kind of Hell. One good, loving parent is better than 2 miserable ones. Speaking from experience.
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Best thing to do is always the hardest but soon as you stop doing for him l bet he’s going to see that the grass ain’t so green on the other side ,plus don’t fool yourself he’s probably already replaced you, good luck just gonna pray you open your eyes:pray:
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I’m sorry but if your divorcing y’all can’t live together “for the kids” that’s not a situation to sit in with kids. what y’all gonna do when one of you start dating?
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What a mess! Move out
Do not live together “for the children!” That’s a crock! If you have exhausted all efforts… move along. Your kids deserve their best momma… not one that’s going to be miserable in a home, hung up on her ex husband while he does whatever he wants. Sometimes people don’t stay together, your children will be fine.
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I’m sorry your hurting.
It does not matter what you do, you could do everything in your power to change but when someone don’t won’t to stay, hear that loud and clear.
If someone wanted to truly work things out it would be done as a team.
Don’t end up loosing yourself as a person, Just to try and become what you think you need to be to please him or be who you think he wants you too be.
Right now as hard as it is try and come to terms with things and put all your focus and love into YOURSELF!!
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Don’t live together, that doesn’t work. You can’t move on if you can’t move out 
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He is gaslighting you. Hire a lawyer.
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He wants the divorce so he should 1st MOVE OUT. Your not there to play house with him and you can’t heal or move on like that. No reason you play wife if he gets to play single.
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Wow way to hard. Like you will still live with him?? You know, if you slowly start working on yourself, letting him watch you be happy (even if you have to fake it), be extra nice, dress up pretty, get your nails done, make the big meals, be the best mom you can be and flaunt yourself all over the house while paying him no attention at all, maybe he will realize that he misses you and want some of the pretty happy girl that you now are. Now smile and hold your pretty head up! 
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I’m gonna be blunt. I’m sorry I know it hurts. Move out and get counseling. Hes got other plans and you are going to keep getting hurt and… it’s not healthy for your kids. It’s not for the kids he’s controlling you he don’t want you but no one else can have you either. Gaslighter 100% Your better then him. Trust me this will not end in your favor it will tare you up
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Don’t change for someone who doesn’t want you. And move on and out
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Start dating someone else. They always want you back when they think you’ve moved on.
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Need to love yourself first
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Get him out of the house or you leave—you cannot live in the same environment and thrive. Focus on you—when someone says they don’t want you, believe them, and move on. You should NEVER have to “beg, cry, or convince” to get someone to stay or love you. You are worth more than that!! You are worthy of love and someone who is over the moon for you!! Let yourself be sad this part of your life is ending—set an actual grieving time—like 3 days. And then MOVE ON!! Bigger and better things await you dear. 
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I say this because my husband and I were fed up and we went to separate bedrooms while expressing our hatred towards eachother and really ended up only hurting ourselves and my oldest child who heard some of it. I realized I didn’t like myself thst way so how could he like me that way too. I ignored him for a couple of days, started dressing up, cleaning around the house, totally ignoring him which avoided all fights and arguments, then bringing him dinner in the other room. (Leaving it at the door and walking away). Then slowly, start bringing up things you used to do. With me it was like, new episode of The Walking Dead is on. Popcorn and watch it with me? Never talking about the fights because you can’t change the past. Good luck sweetie, it hurts but don’t you dare let him see you hurt. Just let him see you change! And if it works out, let us know how it went!
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I’m so sorry you are hurting. But he needs to move out and not have the luxury of a good wife. He gots to go!
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He needs to move on and pay child support. That maybe why he staying so he wont have to pay child support.
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Get a boyfriend and show him your moving on then through him out.
Girl the first thing is never fight for someone to love you unconditionally. If you have to beg this man to love he doesn’t. Love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. There is forgiveness and letting go. You are only dragging yourself down by staying there. It’s not better for you and the kids but comfortable for him. Take care of yourself and kids first. You all are the priority. There is no advice on how long it takes to grieve a relationship or marriage sweetheart but I can say this with confidence you can’t heal if you’re not able to let go. You need to move or he does.
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All these people telling her to start dating someone else and flaunt your shit around the house…for what!!! Is dating someone else what she really needs right now?!? Her childrens parents are getting a divorce. Their poor little world is being ripped apart as they know it. She previously stated she’s working on herself. LET HER!!! Let her love herself and make sure she and her children are ok first. We’re not in Highschool anymore when we try to make the jerk jealous. There are little lives involved here!!! Dating is the VERY LAST thing she needs right now. I think her plate if full enough.
I would get down on my knees and ask God to come into your life, find a Bible teaching church. When your husband sees your changes. He may make changes… it has to start with God bringing you back together.
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Move on, he needs to move out of the house!
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Don’t not live together. That’s a aweful idea.
Right after reading your post, I saw this meme. Take care of YOU before anyone else. Before you can have peace, you have to take yourself out of that toxicity. Good luck, one day at a time, you’ll be ok 
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You can’t stay living together for the kids. That’s not for the kids, that’s for you. Those kids need to see happy and healthy parents and living together but not being together is showing them the wrong message.
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If you can’t be together without arguing or feeling bad feelings for each other then it’s time to make new living arrangements. You should not ever stay together for your kids, and you shouldn’t live together for them either. What’s toxic for you will in the end be toxic for them as well. Also it will give you a false sense of hope and you will continue to treat him like your husband in hopes of reconciliation when he no longer deserves that treatment. He may have no problem moving on regardless of your living situation but you won’t be giving yourself that same chance.
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Never " beg " a man to stay … he is living there and still getting the perks of being married as in a clean house meals cooked laundry done but still free to see other woman using the excuse he’s staying there for the kids is bull crap .kick his butt to the curb so that you can " get over " him and start healing your heart because that is not going to happen with him there
Mama, it’s his job to ask you for a chance, not yours. It doesn’t matter whose fault, both of you deserve to be with loving, compatible spouses. But from this little info, he’s not even gentlemanly, or a great provider. Else he would be moving next door to stay close to the kids and give you privacy and dignity in your own home. Are you sure he’s staying for the kids and not just so he can have someone around to berate? 
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Then it’s something within himself nothing you can do about it apparently he doesn’t love you as much as you love him if he sees your making changes and still doesn’t wanna work on y’all’s marriage maybe his attention is elsewhere not saying he Is but could be a possibility don’t beat yourself up about it it takes 2 ppl to make a marriage work you can’t be the only one having to make changes and him not changing some of his ways to and living together might not be the best idea some it has worked for but for most it doesn’t work out well
He would be GONE and paying CHILD SUPPORT!!! In time, you will be okay!
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Why would you WANT to stay w someone who you KNOW is verbally abusive?
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Move out. Never stay in a situation like that because you will never move on. He sounds emotionally abusive and you need to get away from that.
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Don’t teach your children that abuse is love. It’s toxic and he still has you where he wants you. A happy home isn’t always two parents
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You cannot live together. Someone has to leave. That’s in the child’s best interest
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Sound like my x I stay 23 yrs before I walk out don’t b stupid like me please there a life out there go get it u wont.b sorry I met a wonderful guy was with him tell.the goodLord took him.8 yrs ago
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Don’t live together for the kids. That’s just gonna mess them up bad. Go on your separate ways and coparent well. 50/50. You do you. He does him.
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being apart and living together for the sake of the kids? what about when u both meet someone or the kids pick up on bad atmosphere if he is verbally abusive it will rub off on the family , someone needs to b adult out if you both and say its over we have to move out it wont be a happy healthy enviroment
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Let him get out tell him if he’s done then he needs to move out & you keep the home for the children. You don’t need an abusive man around you or your children as that’s what they’ll learn in the long run…. Make him leave if he doesn’t want the relationship. Then apply for child support & all resources you can to help you out. Get a good attorney if needed be for custody and if you are not working, ask for spousal support, sock it to him as he did you. He probably has a side chic somewhere & therefore he’s abusive to you & mean!
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Never fight for love or someone that doesn’t freely give it or want to be there i know that may sound harsh but you will only further break your own heart! He needs to move out that WONT be healthy him still living with you just for the kids it will be toxic and yall will resent each other and you will continue to hurt you set the stage for your kiddos future relationships! If he wants to be free let him
be free and move out and pay child support and alimony! Move on and focus on those precious babies and leave him in the dust
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You cannot live together. Someone has to leave. That’s in the child’s best interest
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Firstly…its not all your fault. It takes 2 people fully committed to fighting for a relationship not just one.
Why continue living together ? Its not going to do your kids much good listening to him bad mouthing you and the atmosphere will be damaging …one of you has to leave.
Get yourself a lawyer and start fighting for yourself and your kids…he wants a divorce then he can move out till the court sorts everything out .
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i hate to break it to u but u can not live together just because of the kids that will hurt the kids worse my opinion he just dont wanna have to pay cs gf he is a narcissist get urself n those kids out or make him leave its in all yalls best interest
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Living together is not going to work out. I don’t know the details of what went down in your marriage and who’s really to blame, but hopefully y’all can come to an agreement about living separately and co-parenting. If he’s done, it’s just time to move on for your wellbeing. Hope it doesn’t lead to court and custody battles. So sorry
He’s probably going through a mid life crisis. Just hang in there. Take care of yourself and the kids. You have to remember yourself. Join a gym. Take walks. Get a make over.
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He’s abusive and you think it’s ok to stay living together? I’m sorry but you need to take your kids and move out. You are teaching your kids you don’t deserve happiness by just staying. Abuse in any way shape or form is NOT ok!
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