He wants a divorce and he’s done. We’re going to stay living together for the kids sake but this is going to be so hard. I don’t want It to be over but no matter what I say or do he’s done. I can’t stop crying. He says it’s all my fault and I think it may be but I know he’s not perfect and he has said some hurtful things and is verbally abusive but I can’t figure out how to get over him. I only want him. I’m changing and have showed it but it’s not enough to make him want to stay
Living together for the kids sake is a mistake.
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He needs to move out. Him being there will never allow you to move on.
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Definitely a huge mistake to live together.
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I would highly recommend you do NOT live together! I know you are thinking of the children in that aspect, but it is going to do more harm than good. Especially for your mental health & well being! I know change is hard & you love him, but don’t grovel for someone who clearly isn’t feeling the same way. You are worth SO MUCH MORE!
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If he’s done then he needs to leave. What’s he sticking around for he could still see his kids without living there
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He needs to move out. Plain & simple. Your kids will thank you for that when they’re older
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Absolutely do not live together for the kids, it’ll only be harder and the kids will see that… He needs to go
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Go out have fun you’ll eventually forget about him love yourself 
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One of you needs to leave. Sorry that your going through this but separate for all your families sanity.
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If he wants a divorce and is done living together will do nothing but cause problems, especially since you still want the marriage to work. You will never get over him and be able to move in if y’all are playing “house” still.
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Tell him he’s watching the kids, throw on something nice and go dancing. But don’t tell him where you’re going! Treat yo self. Stop worrying about him if he’s not worried about you.
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First off- stop with this “staying in the same house for the kids”. What’s best for you is to be away from him— and it’s what’s best for the kids too
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Make a clean cut. I know it is hard but it’ll be better making clean cut than daily pouring salt in wound
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I tried the “ living together for the kids sake “ and it was not a good idea and actually got worse!
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Someone needs to move. That’s the only way. If it’s not mutual and you still want to make the marriage work it will slowly kill you as a person. Might seem like what is best for the kids but trust that they will feel every bit of sadness and whatever emotions there may be. Living apart and have a good co parent structure will be what’s best for the kids.
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Definitely don’t recommend y’all living together because then you will never get to move on
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Can’t stay living together for kids sake itll make it worse move on
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Move. Out but stay close so children have freedom to move between homes walking nf distance
Get counseling for you
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O dear so begging him for God sake.
Unfortunately hun he should go! Stay strong!! But it’s best you try and heal and then move on. If he is there its not good for your mental health. But it’s never one sided. So don’t blame yourself.
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You might read a book called Women Who Love Too Much. It helped me.
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So sorry for your loss prayers
Oh so he want the cake & eat it too. Do not live with him!!! He is never going to know if he misses you if you do that.
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You will be fine with yourself and your chilldren. Let him leave before things get worse. Do not stay together because of your children you are only hurting them.
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Your kids will know obviously and it will hurt them more than if he just leaves.
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So,
Personal experience living together for the kids is not the answer nor will it help anyone in this ordeal it will drag out the hurt and confuse the children as they get older.
So, eventually both of you will be wanting to move on and how would you do such if you are both under the same roof? I have ALWAYS thought that sometimes two homes are better than one. Raising children in an unhappy, toxic environment creates a toxic and chaotic child.
I know it hurts, I know you think you won’t ever get over this, but you will! 
I have been in your shoes before. But my mom always told me “why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you? Who doesn’t value you? What kind of life would that be…”.
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Everyone here pretty much sayin the same. And i agree. Hes done, then he can leave. U wont move on if hes there. Coparenting is only as hard as you guys make it. Shit, when he has um u get a spa day or smthn.
There’s really not enough to the story for me too conclude, but I’m getting the feeling that he may be a narcissist. You said he says hurtful things and says that it’s all your fault. Yet he still wants to live there??. Yep I’ve seen this before! 
Actually now that I read it again I think there is enough info for me to conclude. He’s mentally abusive and he needs to leave!
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Wants his cake and eat it to. He needs to move. He’s using you
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Please save yourself and the kids trauma tell him to leave. Trust me it’s the bests choice you can make for you, more importantly for the kids. They don’t need to see what you’re going through, trust me, if my parents had divorced when I was a kid instead of me being 25, a whole ass adult with 3 kids, oh the trauma and anxiety I wouldn’t have.
Get him out as soon as possible, this is not for the sake of kids. It’s for his own pleasure that you are allowing him to keep treating you like that…your kids will suffer greatly as you are dying inside and outside…please get some help or leave with the kids…
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I would only agree to living together if he agreed to marriage counseling. If he can’t do that then he needs to move out .
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Living together is just going to hurt the kids more. And If you think you need to change to get him to stay then I’ll raise the big red flag. If he doesn’t love you for you, then he isn’t the “one” for you. And if he says he doesn’t want to be with you, there’s nothing you can do that will make him. And if it’s just a game to him and he using it to manipulate you, run. He sounds toxic and you need to have a better environment for your kids and show them that no one deserves to be treated like that .
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He probably has someone else…. If that doesn’t work out he’ll want you back… by then I hope you will have moved out and moved on. Keep your head up mama
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Please let him move out it is not healthy for you or your children. Seek therapy for yourself and children to help make the transition. Your soon to be EX sounds like a narcissist. I wish you peace and good luck. Trust it will get better.
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You cannot live together!! Because you won’t be able to move on… and if he goes out or something it’s gonna make you feel 1000x worse, because you’ll be sitting there watching it, wondering when he’s coming home etc… super bad idea… I’m sorry it suxks… but for your mental health you need to live separate… you know how you feel, and he’s expressed how he feels… ya it hurts but you deserve better!!
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he wants a divorce then his a$$ needs to move out. Then he thinks he can date while living with you?? Hellllll no…. Period.
Don’t stay in the same house it’ll eat you alive. Stay with a relative or something until you can get back on your feet, plus you’ll have support. If he wants you then he’ll come to you, if he wants a divorce don’t try and change his mind most men get off at the fact you want them so badly.
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It’s way more attractive to a man when a woman is independent and not needy.
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It’s not healthy for you or the kids for you guys to live together. Your kids would be better off with their parents happy
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Let time take time:two_hearts:
I love how everyone is saying he needs to move out lol one sided much? we don’t know why their marriage is over, what if it was her that ruined it.
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Make him move out. Letting him live there while insisting he will not work on reconciliation… that’s him getting his cake and eating it too. He gets to have his “family”, watch you and what you’re doing, but all the while have his freedom to see and do what he wants. NOPE!
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Live together? So he is gonna date others im sure and avoid child support. Gtfoh
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Do not live together it will destroy your children, they are much smarter than some see them as and they know when something isn’t right and all the pain will only bleed into them it is better they come from a broken family rather than live in one I am so sorry the situation you’re in but living together will not allow you to move on or heal and it will only cause more trouble for the children in the long run
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Why do people stay for the kids? It actually does more harm than good no matter how you try to make it work for their benefit. Kids can feel the tension. They’re not stupid nor pawns. You both are causing unnecessary trauma for these kids.
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As hard as it seems things will get better for you.But don’t stay in the same home.Both of you need to go on .But in seperate places.Or your feeling well never let you go on.Goodluck.
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Move out & move on, seems as he might have already as well. Why would u want to change who u are & beg somebody to love u & be with u? Know your worth.
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If he’s abusive in any way, verbal, emotional or what have you…you are better off completely going your own ways. That’s not a good environment for you or your children you all deserve better. Not a good idea to remain living together imo.
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Continuing to live together is unhealthy for everyone
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Love yourself first. You don’t need him. Move on. Never beg a man to stay. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don’t settle for less 
.
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no sis my ex left me and we stay together for the kids. it’s so hard on the mental state I’m literally trying to open my availability at work so I can afford to move out. do not stay with him if you don’t have to. go with your mom or siblings if they’ll have you. you’ll never heal with him there
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Don’t let this go on! This is abuse! You’re hurting your kids by allowing him to treat you like this. Move him out!
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Please do not stay together for the kids sake! They can feel the tension that is going on! He wants his cake and eat it too!!! Bull crap!!! You need to respect yourself and try to move on!! You deserve so much better! God bless!
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Why would you want to live with him he needs to move out or you need to move out
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Sometimes there is just too much water under the bridge, when you say you’ve changed, what type of problems were you having before? X
Don’t beg for him. That’s the least thing you would wanna do. I def wouldn’t be with someone who is verbally abusive. You can do so much better. Go out and have some fun. One of you need to move. It’s basically the only way you’ll be able to get over him. I’ve been with my husband for 14 years and we finally married this past June. If he was ever verbally or any type of abusive I wouldn’t be with him. Your kids come first before any man including your husband. Good luck mama and prayers. If you need anything or just need someone to talk to you can message me any time.
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Children are going repeat this, going think is ok treat females, tht way, leave him, he needs man up…instead being over you…!!
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Move on. It will hurt your kids if you don’t. This is abuse!!!
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The best way to get over someone is to get under another. 
Sounds terrible but it does work. 
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I am so very sorry you are going through this. 1. Get yourself ready for the divorce. Save copies of financial records, start putting money aside for you and kids, get copies of tax records… in short you need your own copy of EVERYTHING. DO NOT TELL HIM or let him know you are doing this. 2. Get consults with divorce lawyers. Check with a lawyer before you move. 3. Find a a counselor for you and one for your kids. Look up trama bond. 4. Document everything. Keep a diary. 5. He needs to move out. He wants to play house with all the benefits and freedom to do as he pleases. 6. Join a support group for women and divorce - there are lots on facebook and believe it or not Tik Tok. 7. Do not agree to a custody arrangement now that you wont be happy with later like 50/50 or one week on and one off. Do your research now before you set anything up. 8. Dont let him guilt you into anything like lowering support or giving him assets. Especially, since he already telling you this is all your fault and he wont be able to live on his income if YOU make him pay support.
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Him or you need to move. Not seeing him everyday will help so much. Write up a basic parenting plan (children visits, alimony/child support, who takes them to appointments, deals with school, etc.). If you don’t have a job, sign up for WIC, Medicaid, etc and reach out to a woman’s shelter they can help you find a job and housing. My ex husband was similar and was dating someone else while I was pregnant; thankfully, I have my parents nearby to stay with and I’m honestly so much happier now that he’s only a small part of my life. I wish you luck and healing.
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Once someone is done, they are done. I was done. Ill never have that feeling again with him. He killed it in me. You should just leave. ITS not good for your kids or either of you. Kids will adapt.
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One of you guys needs to move out. And research trauma bond and get yourself into therapy hun. It won’t get better.
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I don’t have any specific advice for you, but I will say that my husband left me a little over two years ago and at the time I felt like my whole world ended. It’s going to suck for a long time, it’s going to be really hard. I’d stand outside trying to get some fresh air, crying, and just repeating to myself “it won’t always be this bad” over and over. And now I’m here, two and a half years later, and it’s not that bad. He actually did me a favor. I’m happier than I ever was the last two years of our marriage. It’s hard and it feels impossible but I promise you, you’ll survive. You’ll get through it and you’ll be thankful for it. 
This is a very toxic situation. The kids would be better if you two are apart. Happy parents = happy kids. Don’t let them live in this environment. Kick him out if he wants to leave.
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Some times people can’t “change” in time this is why communication is so important especially if he’s expressed what bothers him and I don’t recommend living together because of the kids it will be very confusing for them especially with no love in the household and it will just be extremely awkward
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Self respect if you don’t have that then no other will respect you. Get out off the arrangement of living together you will survive without him
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Get rid of him. Explain to the kids the truth
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Look up trauma bonds. It will take work and time, but you will be ok. Abuse is abuse.
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Please don’t stay living with him “for the kids sake.” Find a house close to him for convenience and move on.
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U can’t live together….
Won’t be better for the kids and won’t allow you to get over him…
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Take the kids and leave. Ur not going to get over him by living together
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Move out, get a divorce, the kids will heal. Move on
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You don’t need to continue living with someone that is abusing you. It’s ok to leave… staying together will just continue to show the kids this crap.
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Do not stay there !! Hes abusing you
Think of your children this is not going to be positive for them
Hes blaming all on you and your taking it
Girl get your babies and leave. You and your babies deserve better
Sending strength and love to you
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Love together for the sake of the children? Worst idea ever. Leave and live your life. Don’t look back
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U need to move out or ask him to move out don’t stay together for the kids that will hurt u and your kids when u are living a part in time u will get over him and move on get counseling !
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Leave. Dont stay just for the kids.
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Yikes
He seems to be a narcissist
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You won’t get over him if you’re living together. Kids will be happy as long as their parents are happy, together or not. Best thing to do for yourself and your kids is to move on but co-parent.
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NOT a good idea. that will be torture for you and eventually the kids to. move out & go do things that you love to do or “use to” love to do. spend time with friends or family. Keep yourself busy. maybe he will miss you maybe he won’t.
don’t dwell on it too much it will only make you lose yourself. take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids.
Much love and prayers for you. I KNOW how hard and hurtful this can be. Xoxo
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I stayed in the same house with my ex husband while we were separated but still living together. It was pure hell. If I could change anything about my divorce it would be that I would have moved out as soon as it happened. If he is already giving u grief about how it’s your fault it will only get worse. My daughter heard me being called a whore a bitch and witnessed him totally disrespect me. He would talk down to me all the time. I would get out or make him get out. & another thing make sure u get what you deserve in the divorce don’t make him guilt you into accepting an offer that is less than you deserve. After some time away you generally realize how bad you had it in the relationship and it helps you get over them. I’m sorry you’re going through that. It rough
Therapy. Likely, you won’t fully move on until you no longer reside in the same home
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a man only makes that move if there is someone else… Get out and keep your dignity… It will destroy you in the end…
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Definitely move out. 
Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? Let him go.
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He’s gaslighting you. Typical behavior of a narcissist. Get out now while you still have your sanity!
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Living together probably isn’t a good idea. You won’t get over him or move on if he’s still there every single day.
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Soo he wants his cake and to eat it too? Have you living there looking after the kids and house etc while he is free to do as he pleases with who he pleases
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It’s never all one person’s fault.
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You need to Buck up and stay strong and stop crying and show him that you’re going to be just fine without him reverse psychology is the best trust me you don’t need him you only want him show him that
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Your children will suffer more in the end… You can’t bring children up where there’s no love… What are you teaching them… For the sake of your sanity and your children move go to court let him support you and your kids… You are worth more
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Well good luck but you already sold it likely is because of you. Yes I know 2 tango. When ones done it’s done
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That’s narcissistic behavior. You will never be good enough for the wrong person.
You will be MORE than good enough for the RIGHT person.
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crazy idea leave it sound like he doesn’t want you so get out
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Maybe hes the one that needs to change. I would move on! You cant be with someone just for the kids sake, you deserve happiness as well. And no need to deal with verbal abuse, it can be worse that physical. Draw your line.
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He wants all the perks of a wife (someone to manage a home, always have the kids under his roof, bonus that you still care about him), without being a husband. Got it.
You cannot live under these conditions. I’ve watched it, it’s so incredibly toxic and damages the children (I’m so serious, like suicidal teens-type problems). He wants a divorce you need to take your children and leave or kick him out if he wants to go.
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