Trust me
Tried my ex staying with me
It’s all verbal abuse
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No, no, no!!! He wants his cake and eat it too. If he wants a divorce… he needs to be gone! If he wants to live there… he doesn’t care about getting a divorce… he only cares about doing whatever the hell he wants and when he wants to do it without paying child support!!! He needs to leave! Staying there will only hurt you and the kids more! Kick his ass out and tell him to grow the hell up!
Start grey rocking him now. Don’t cook for him. Don’t do his laundry. He wants to be alone. Act like he doesn’t exist.
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Leave. The kids will see it and sense it. Please do not do this for them it will hinder them in the end
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You need to get rid of him. He is not staying for the kids, hes staying to get his cake and eat it too. A narcissist will blame it all on you. Girl kick him to the curb
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U need to leave n leave now
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No advice momma I’m in the exact situation with my husband but hugs momma we got to be strong for our babies
I can understand if both parents are civil to each other staying/living together for the kids, But I will also say, I had a co-worker who’s parents did this for their daughter, until the youngest graduated from HS, and even yrs later, none of them will or would talk to their parents because they felt betrayed & that I also understand, I did try talking to her about pros & cons on this, but it didn’t matter 
So think about that
Go get a bf. Watch how quick he wants u back:rofl:
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You should leave. You don’t have to stay in the same house for the kids sake.
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You’re definitely not going to get over him if you stay living together. I realize you want to do what’s best for the kids but that’s a very toxic situation there and you won’t be doing anyone any favors, especially the kids, by creating that toxic of an environment.
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It sounds to me like you are trying too hard.
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It won’t be healthy for you or him to stay! He can leave if he’s wanting the divorce. But don’t torture yourself and your kids by staying in the same house together!!
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As long as he sees you crying, he will keep that mindset. From my experience it isn’t until you move on and don’t care that they suddenly want you back!
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Following in a similar situation but I am the one leaving.
Don’t live together for the kids. It will still be a toxic environment and isn’t fair to you at all. Let your kids see that your strong, and move on and be happy. When your happy, your kids will be happy.
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Why would you want to stay if 1. He doesn’t want you and 2. He’s abusive. Find your worth girl, move on. Find a man that will cherish you! Life it too short to want a man who has no interest in you.
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Been down this road. It’s not possible to live in the same house… you can have vIsitation and if you stay under one roof that may hurt your kids too…
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I think he wants his cake and eat it too…you won’t have a say in what he does but he will control what you do.
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The only way you will get over him is by not living together.
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Move on…u will feel better sooner than later
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Sounds like it will be worse staying living together x
I’m just going to tell you that living together for the sake of the kids is damaging to them.
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Get out don’t live together.
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Men won’t change there mind wen the say there done! It’s hard but go don’t look back! If you can move don’t stay for the kids he knows it and you don’t need that girl or you will never get over him. As much is it will hurt it will hurt more to stay. Move with family a friend but go. Show the ass your over him as well, when they think you have no choice they thrive off it but go and be better because it will be abusive words I’ll pray for you
#beentheredonethat
#itwillgetbettwr
Only way to get over him is him moving out or you moving out. He just wants you guys living together for the kids sake because he doesn’t want you with someone else in the future. Tell him since he wants a divorce then one of you are moving out and kids can go to therapy to help with the adjustment
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As a kid from this kind of background, do not stay in the same house. It’ll only make it harder on the kids. You need to get out and move on so you can find happiness again for yourself and that will translate to your kids because you’ll be able to be a happy mom.
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Baby girl you living with a narracist. Get out now before it stops mentally for you and becomes physically abuse. Get a job and get out before you’re 6ft under and them kids have no mom. If stay in this marriage you’re helping them kids absorb the abuse as well. Not giving you advise I hadn’t dealt with myself. Leave before it’s 2 late.
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You are better off without the prick you will get over it in time
That’s so sad that you truly feel everything is one sided- your fault…don’t just live together for the kids. Don’t show them a chaotic environment, maybe spending some time alone and not in his miserable company will help you focus on yourself and maybe then you’ll realize what you truly deserve. Life’s to short goodluck
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You cannot live together. That is toxic and very unhealthy for your kids. He will not be good to you and you will grovel for his affection and that is a pitiful thing to teach your children. Boys will grow up treating women like crap and girls will think it is ok to be abused because it is what they are learning…
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Go into therapy… you need to think more of yourself. You have too- no one else will honey.
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It is NEVER… ALL any one else’s fault. Ridiculous to say so.
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Don’t stay together. The kids will feel the constant tension and so will you. And NO IT’S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT ! It takes two to make a marriage and two to break one as well. He’s just wanting to stay in the same place so that he doesn’t have child support, alimony if your state has it and so you feel like you owe him. BULL SHIT ! He wants his cake and eat it to. You to be his booty call when he strikes out at the bars or what ever. Honey do your self a favor, I know your hurting and hoping if you go along with it things might work out, but just cut your losses and split apart. Maybe he doesn’t want to split the equity in the house if you have one. I tried to be nice in my divorce and got screwed. That’s why I say just cut your losses and protect your and your kids $ and emotions. He’s not worth it. Good luck and I’m sorry.
PLEASE do not live with him. You are condemning yourself to a life of sadness and regret and forcing your kids to watch their parents live miserably with one another. You need to split the household and move on.
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Maybe you can go out with a friend. It doesn’t have to be a guy… Just go for dinner or for a drive with some ice cream (for an hour or two) and have him look after the kids. Maybe he will see you are not dependant on him.
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Don’t live with him for your kids. That will not help them like you think it will, and it’ll be torture for everyone involved.
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You got it so wrong, you dont stay together for the kids, you dissolve this as quick as possible for the kids, children who live under your situation end up in therapy as adults
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Screw that. He wants to do what he wants while he controls you. Your kids will not be better off. He wants a divorce, you’ll keep the home for the kids. Hes already got you thinking its your fault
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You can not move on if he’s living with you it won’t work. Since he wants a divorce, tell him to leave since you have the children.
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Girl, run. You begging and crying and changing isn’t going to do anything but hurt you more in the long run. Wipe your tears, and go. You’ll find happiness within yourself, from your kids, and maybe one day another man who will treat you better than your husband now ever did.
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Ion like when y’all tell some of the story 
and leave the good stuff out 
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If he wants to continue living with you. I guarantee y’all are gonna be in the same bed with you pining after him and him living his best life. Tell him to pound salt !
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Kick him out. He’s a narcissist, thinking he can dominate you., degrade you with hurtful remarks. Get him out of you & your kids lives. He won’t change and he’ll make your life hell
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I agree with All the above
sad for you xx
Why would you want to be with someone who has told you they dont want you. Your only hurting yourself staying. Leave and move on with your life.
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Young one - you can not force love - it takes two to make a marriage. If you can you need to go your separate ways. The longer you are there and the harder you try will eventually cause bitter feelings and resentment. Your children can still be raised by both you - and how you handle this will model how your children’s relationships will turn out.
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He sounds unstable you and your kids shouldn’t even be around him
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In order to fully move on then you cannot live with him, you need your space to grieve. Then start doing little things for yourself, buy some flowers, go get a massage, your hair done or your nails. Grieving the loss of a union is never easy, but it will come in phases and allow yourself to go through them. Have a support system, so on your roughest days you can reach out and ask for help. Children deserve to see their parents happy, better happy separately than together and miserable. You’ve got this on day at a time, one step at a time.
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Kick him out now. You can’t make a person love you. You will be hurt a lot worst when your divorced and living together. He will bring females around and it will physically kill you. He wants a backup in case things don’t work out for him. All while your ruining your life waiting on him. Grief for a bit then get you someone that will care for you.
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You will never get over him if you live together and anyone he dates will only cause you more hurt. It won’t be good for the kids. Get your stuff together, file for custody of the kids and you leave or ask that he leaves. If he wants the divorce,you can ask for the house and kids. But DO NOT live with him.
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Divorce…dont live together…never stay for kids…
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Therapy is always a good thing—for everyone. Focus on the paperwork you need for the divorce and take one day at a time. As others have said do NOT continue to live together. Plan your future and cry to friends and family away from the kids.
Also hope you are continuing to get help for whatever your other problems are.
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He is the problem not you
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Get that jerk out of your house immediately. That’s how. Then get your butt to the gym, nail and hair salon and get some girlfriends and go away on the weekend he’s got the kids. Post pics.
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I would never want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.
You shouldn’t either
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It doesn’t matter how much you change.he made his mind up…he has someone else already
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You can’t force somebody to love u… you love himbhe doesn’t love u… u want him he doesn’t want u… love urself enough tonknow u deserve better and walk away… living under the same roof isn’t the best option… kick him to the curb… he doesn’t want u but he doesn’t want nobody to have u either… cuz he gonna be living single life and he is taking advantage knowing that u want him and only him… while he out there in all other skirts… Honey walk away…
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You and your kids are to good for this man I know your pain but keep faith and pray for strength to get thur this I promise you will Survive and be better in time You and your kids deserve better Just let him be done Your children are number one in this life they need you You don’t need him to survive
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You cant force someone to love you.
When I had gotten to the point where I was ultimately begging for love. For simple answers and responses to important stuff. I promised myself I would never out myself, or my daughter in such a position again.
It’s a lonely life loving someone who sees right through you.
Wish you the best darlin. Self love. Is. Really. Important. Super. Duper. Important. Such a hard thing in this time and age. I myself on the journey of self love and it takes time and alot of feels. But its possible
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Never stay in the same household for the kids especially because children learn relationship behaviors from their parents. Your children are better off seeing you live in two different homes divorced. They will see healthy relationships that way. Also it is not healthy for you to be mentally bullied by him like he’s taunting you. Your kids are who is important here and you need to put aside your feelings for your husband. I’m not being mean I grew up in a divorced family. Give your attention to your children and help them through this they will understand.
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You will never be able to move on living in the same house together. it’s not healthy for your kids to see you guys together and unhappy it would be better if you lived apart. don’t Stay in the same house and make yourself miserable for the rest of your life for your kids because it’s not doing them or you any favors. you deserve to be happy Who knows maybe moving out will make him wake up and see what hes missing out on. You only get one life do you wanna waste it being unhappy living in a house with somebody you’re not in a relationship with? or you want to move on and find somebody that makes you happy? What’s gonna happen when he starts seeing other people? Do you really wanna be there when that happens I know I sure as hell wouldn’t that would kill me inside I’m so sorry you’re going through this I can’t imagine how difficult it must be but maybe it’s time to move on.
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Work with a therapist to realize that a man like that is not worth your love.
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Lady pull urself together ho for therapy u don’t need that man let him go by next year u are going to say to urself why did I ever say I can’t live without him
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But on the other hand someone once told me to get over ***** you gotta get under someone else 
might be worth a try
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Don’t stay living together if you are going to get divorced. It just makes a mess sooo much messier.
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don’t live together for the sake of the kids. the kids will see that as a healthy marriage. if he’s done get him to move out. show how happy you can be
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They say you can’t always stay just cause you have kids together. It’s not gonna work for you to stay, the longer you stay the more hurt you will get. It’s not gonna be the same, but you need to think of of kids too. They don’t like an unhappy mama. They want a happy mama. I been there too. It’s unhealthy to be in the same house if it’s not gonna work. The children know when mama isn’t happy. I had to think of my kids too when my ex and I split. The children do need there mama.
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He is playing mind games. Dont give into his control. You go thru life staying busy and occupy yourself with your needs and responsibilities. Show him that your not afraid to stand on your own. He will respect you and see you have changed. Whether your marriage survives or not, no one can say, but at least your living life beyond divorce. Then should he decide to leave, it wont be as painful. Part of losing someone, is the hurt factor. Bury the hurt. Move forward. No one can turn back the clock. My ex tried this game with me too. Many times during our 19 yrs marriage. We had 2 kids. Finally I got tired of being controlled and made the blame for what actually was alot of his problems, he refused to own! I left! When I filed for divorce, he sure changed his tune! Suddenly he contested the divirce that he shouted about wanting! Suddenly he didnt like the idea. I divorced him anyways! He was an alcoholic. He went thru detox and never touched a drop in the last 23 yrs. Oh well! I was not going back! He had me miserable the whole time we were married by belittling me and having me live under threat. Lol. I got the final laugh! He wants to get back together, but nope!!! I moved on. I married another guy. Had a child at 40. We are very happy!! The ex when he went to counseling to detox from alcohol, was diagnosed with oppositional defiant behavior. He tries NOT to get along with anyone. He wants to be the center of everyone’s universe. He wants to call the shots. Always telling me I was stupid and couldn’t accomplish nothing. (Aftervour divorce, I went to a University and graduated 15 yrs ago, last August.) I rebuilt my life. I had hard times but, I showed him, I didnt need him after all and was way smarter than he gave me credit for! ( I also proved it to myself that I was intelligent, which I needed psychologically since he was constently killing myself-esteme). Truth is… he needed me. He was controlling me. Yes. I loved him. I did not want a divorce, but I got tired of living in a battle ground, not of my making, that he played the mind game to blame me and kill my self-esteme. (His shouting ‘divorce’ was his way to reign me in. It worked for 19 yrs. ) Until I decided I had nothing to lose but life-long unhappiness. I was scared to leave, I had no job. Only a high school diploma. No long work history and 2 kids to raise. However; I was tired of my kids being raised in a battleground. They deserved better. I deserved better. My advice… you deserve better. Get busy planning your life without him and live for you & your kids. I got the feeling your hubby is alot like my ex. When I left my ex…I walked out of a cave, into the sunshine. I felt numb for several weeks. It subsided, a little each day. But looking back, I dont know why I put up with his bs for so long!
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Sounds like a narcissist to me. Get away from him if you can.
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Coming from a 40yr old who’s parents stayed together for the “sake” of us, don’t do it!! I was relieved when my mom came to my house 10yr ago and said she was leaving. I wish she wouldve done it when we were kids. Completely toxic.
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Don’t waste another minute crying over someone who could care less. You’ve got to show your kid’s a healthy relationship and living in the same household will never work. You got this, put on your “big girl Panties” and make sone healthy changes for you and your children. You got this!! Good luck, mama!!!
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Staying together for the kids is a mistake. As a 28 year old woman who’s parents did this, DONT. It is toxic as all hell. It’s terrible and eve. Worse for the kids to be honest. Pack his shit and toss him out. My brothers and I were relieved when my mom finally came to her senses and did this with my father.
It’s not healthy for anyone for you to stay living together. It will never work that way and you will never be able to move on. I know from experience. Verbal abuse is not acceptable and that will continue as well as long as your together.
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Grow some balls and make a new life for you and your children. Really if you want your kids to respect you and have a lil self respect drop his ass like a hot rock.He doesn’t want you! Duh no letting him change your mind later on down the road… Drop his ass. Enjoy the rest of you and your kiddos life!
First of all, you are living with a narcissist. You may not see that now but you will in time. Secondly, staying together for the kids is the WORST decision you could ever make for your babies. It will affect them for the rest of their lives and their future relationships. YOU should never change yourself for someone else. You need time to reflect and fix what YOU believe needs to be fixed. I spent most of my life in this same situation…5 years later…wish to God I would ahve left sooner and not wasted so much precious time.
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Please don’t continue living with this person. You deserve better than that. Would you want your children to stay in a household, miserable, purely for the sake of others? Be a role model for your babies and show them that if they don’t have to stay in a situation that makes them unhappy 
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Never do that for the sake of the kids.
Kids need happy parents.
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If it’s going to be to hard on you, you may want to split up living together to. A lot of arguments sound like are going to happen and usually continuing to live together it gets worse. If you changing isn’t enough for him, then you need to find your piece.
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Move that man out…move on with your life. You said he is abusive, so why would you want to live with that. He told you he is done. Why torture yourself. Did you ever think that he just doesn’t want to pay child support and rent somewhere else. He is staying because it is easier for him.
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Fall in love with yourself. Find yourself. Who were you before the marriage and kids? What did you like to do? Get some therapy too
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Sorry, but no matter what you say to him it’s not going to change things. He has obviously made up his mind and wants the divorce for a reason. I’m not blaming one person over the other sometimes people just go their separate ways with time. I don’t know whether or not you work, but if you don’t you might want to get a job and move into your own place, of course he will have to pay child support if kids are still going to school. Staying together under the conditions you are describing would ruin both of you. Maybe he wants to stay together because he doesn’t want to forfeit 50% of everything or pay support. I say it’s time to get moving onto better things. You will be far happier believe me it just takes time…do it for yourself.
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went through this almost 30 years ago men are set in there ways nothing is going to change it
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A relationship breakdown is never 100% one persons fault so do not shoulder all the blame on yourself. Also never ever change yourself to please someone else find someone who loves you exactly as you are.
From a person who was brought up in a house where split parents lived together for my sake I would highly advise against it. It creates a tense unhealthy environment for the child especially if one of you starts to move on.
Two happy parents apart is better that two unhappy parents together xx
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Unfortunately your mouth says the truth it’s not enough to make him stay…but it hasn’t reached your heart yet. He’s probably not only done but has moved on and just using you for convenience…but it will lead you to more heart break…you move on too! And separate housing will help!!!
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Don’t stay for the kids … 2 happy homes is better then 1 unhappy home
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living together for the “kids” more like convenience. make him leave if he wants a divorce
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The more you want him, the less he’s going to want to be with you sounds like. 
Time to move on and find someone that actually wants to be with you.
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Time mama. You’re going to go through it for a while and it’s not going to be easy. But remember your worth. If he can’t see how special you are he doesn’t deserve to anyways.
Don’t ever beg a man, no matter how bad it hurts. Know your worth and heal yourself. Btw put that man out! It’s only going to cause you misery and pain.
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Be careful with the changing of yourself to fit his foxhole. You may be giving away who you trully are for someone who will never find you enough.
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Honey, if he says he’s done with you, chances are he’s cheating…
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Stay long enough to save money to bounce! Ooooor move on when you feel up to it!
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He’s verbally abusive. I have a feeling that no matter who he’s with, he’ll never admit to anything being his fault. I think that you continuing to live together for the sake of the kids won’t work. It’ll make things more confusing for them and it’ll make it harder for you to move one. Don’t make this situation even more toxic than it probably is.
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One or the other needs to leave the home it will never be over as long as you live together. Good luck
Stop trying so hard to make someone love you. This happens to so many women and most of the time the man is just trying to frighten you so you will grovel to get him back. Just tell him your done trying and if that’s what he wants you will accept it. It might just give him a fright and want you back obviously this depends on if you done something really wrong in your relationship. If not then please don’t beg.
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You cannot begin the healing process while he is there. If he wants out then he needs to leave.
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You’re trying to get over him the worst thing you can do is live with him you’ll never get over him living with him. And all it’s going to do in the long run is not get you over him and mentally damaged you more.
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You don’t need anyone who makes you feel inadequate in your life!
Somewhere out there is a man who will love you, flaws and all. A man who will protect and nurture you.
Imagine that!
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Is he having an affair ? Classic signs to look for 
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