Dear heavenly Father hear this woman’s heart and your well be done. Amen
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Make him leave and pay alimony and child support. You deserve better!
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Keep your dignity move out or have him move out bc that arrangement sounds good but it’s not going to work. You cannot make someone love you.
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You’ll never get over him whilst he’s living with you.if he says he’s done then OK he packs his bags and goes. That is the decent thing. Wishing something is different won’t make it so.not many partnerships end amicably nearly always it leaves one partner hurting more than the other.
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The no one thing narcissists do is play the victim it’s all your fault it’s not me you don’t do anything right it’s not me
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He’s taking advantage of you. You’ve already stated he’s abusive to you, and he’s decided he’s done with the marriage, so the ONLY reason he still wants you 2 to live together is so he can have a live-in “wife”who still does all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so he doesn’t have to pay child support too. This isn’t about the children’s needs at all. If it was, he would’ve suggested you 2 seek marital counseling for the kids sake and if it didn’t work out then a decision would need to be made in the best interests of the children which would be who would stay and keep the house and who would leave, and how coparenting them together would work for you both in a way that was the least disruptive to the children’s lives- meaning he’d want to leave and let you keep the house and the children stay as well so they wouldn’t be uprooted. Nah… he’s moved on in every way but is considering how he’ll benefit while continuing his abuse and having someone he can manipulate for guilt free supply of sex, and whatever else and especially when he’s low on the supply he’s currently cheating with behind your back. Time to play dumb and get your ducks lined up and in a row in a very fast hurry, and copy any and all important financial documents, his social security number, recent check stubs, house mortgage, car notes, what’s in any checking and savings plans including 401k/IRA/etc, credit cards the balances on them, etc, and then get your name off and credit cards or anything you can that you don’t and won’t be able to be financially responsible for and especially something you know you didn’t “purchase” (gifts he might’ve bought someone else on a credit card or items or things he’s purchasing and spending on for himself) and then store that information in a secure place outside the home in a safety deposit box (you can usually rent one for a very small fee from a bank-just go in and ask them about one or to direct you to a bank that does) that only you have access to, and then you need to find out who he’s been screwing, because he’s definitely cheating and has thought this out long and hard. I wonder who he’s planning to triangulate you with, because I can guarantee he’s planning on bringing her into the home and further disrupting your life and crushing your heart. So yeah, there’s the news and the tips and advice, so you need to realize this and get angry and tell him if he’s done, then he has to go, or you pack your bags and the kids bags too and go. I would tell him he’s got to leave instead though, so you don’t forfeit your rights to the home. But don’t you dare allow him to convince you the marriage is over because of some bs excuse he’s fed you to convince you it’s your fault. Nah, that’s all on him, and he’s too cowardly to admit it. Either way, you do NOT stay for the kids in a position like that where he’s got all the power and control for sure. You take your control and power back and you decide how this goes and ends. If he wanted to stay for the kids, he wouldn’t be considering divorce, Nevermind still wanting to live together as some fake family unit when he’s checked out. This is so emotionally and mentally destructive to both you and the kids, and you need to absolutely put your foot down and tell him that will not work for you nor the kids, so if he wants a divorce then he can go but you won’t be living together at all- not as a couple and certainly not as a divorced couple either. Visitation can be arranged so he doesn’t miss out on the kids and he can still help and share in being a coparent to them. Staying by living together also keeps you from being able to heal emotionally and eventually move on and find future love and prospective dates too, and will cause some much more harm and hurt if he decides to bring another woman into the home in front of you and the kids. No maam. That won’t work at all! I can promise you for a fact I know it won’t ever work, and I also know it will only be detrimental to the kids emotional and mental health because this is so very toxic on so many levels. Don’t do it! One of you has to go. My best advice is get your affairs in order right now so you have something to fight back with, because as it stands he’s already decided it’s over, and if you don’t have a clue about the financial affairs, don’t have a job, etc etc., and you just naively allow him to do this to you, then next thing you know you’ll find yourself out on the street and without your kids. So if you don’t already have a job, get one immediately. Also start looking at apartments you can afford with that job, and start scraping and scrimping and hoarding every penny you can get your hands on. And then you go for a free consultation with every divorce attorney you can, because once you’ve done that, he’ll have a hard time finding one to represent him due to conflict of interest. You’ve got to play catch-up now, so you better get busy, and fast!! To hell with him and his plans. Make your own plans and live your own best left, without him! You deserve so much more and better than this!! Don’t dare let him convince you otherwise either!
You need to realize your stronger than that, STOP begging for a man to want you when he says he don’t!! You need to tell him to get his things and get out otherwise you will still be doing wifely duties for him, laundry dinner etc. while he lives comfortably doing what he wants saves his money only contributes what he feels the need to. While he plays his games knowing your willing to do whatever to keep him!! You need not beg anyone to love you love yourself tell him to get out start a happy life for yourself and your children!
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It took years to get into this it will take a while to slowly gather your money for a move and to undo feelings go one day at a time toget this done start admitting this part of your life is over. Over over good news in a while new things are going to happen a new man a job
Im sorry you are hurting…
I know this is hard to go though and I went though the same thing. My ex was mentally and physically abusive. Your husband seems like he is being a narcissist, manipulator and hypocrite. My ex husband and I tried living together from June 2021-August 2021 and it ended up really bad. All we did was scream and fight and it’s not something kids should see. I picked up my kid and moved out immediately after things got physical, now I’m in a domestic violence shelter. I’m sorry to say this but I think you should move out and move on. You can’t change someone who wants to be changed and he seems like he acts like a child.
One day you’ll wake up see how special you are it will be over honey time to be you