I have a seven-week old… and would like to get his dad on the birth certificate. I have messaged the father telling him he can come to meet him the first week out of the hospital, and he hasn’t even shown up! Would it be selfish of me to go ahead with establishing paternity and getting him for child support if he wasn’t on his end tried seeing our son? and also want him on the birth certificate… I know some people say, “if you want child support, then you don’t need that child” I think that’s a way of saying the father should be left out if he doesn’t want to acknowledge the baby… everyone has their own opinion though… I can clearly see that’s his mini.
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Go to the office of child support enforcement in your county. They can do an acknowledgment of paternity (paternity test) and assit you. Sometimes they have good luck acquiring child support and sometimes they do not. I wouldn’t count on it nor rely on it, but they MAY be able to help. (My ex is over $40,000 behind).
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Go file at your local child support office
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I applied for foodstamps and was told if the father wasn’t in the household the state would help me get child support.
I’m just going to say this if he didn’t want to sign the birth certificate then he doesn’t want to be a part of the child’s life therefore he should sign over custody so he doesn’t have to pay child support because clearly he’s not going to
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Go to your local child support office and tell them you want to file for child support. They will get all of your information and the father’s information. They will then set up a court date or mail you a court date. There they will establish paternity or order a DNA test. Then you will return to court and hear the results. As long as he is father they will order support. Do not feel bad for expecting the father to help financially. You are doing your part and he should also.
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If he didn’t want kids he should’ve kept it in his pants so he has an obligation to support his kid. So tired of people giving men the easy way out
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Child support isn’t guaranteed. Yes they can go to jail or get their license suspended but yea that won’t make them pay. My husband got his license suspended plenty of times because his ex-wife is a bitch and won’t let him talk to or see his daughter
Support and visitation are 2 different things. He should be doing his part whether he wants to see the child or not. Call the child support office ASAP.
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He can sign over his rights all wants but he is still responsible for his child… Take him to court and also get full custody as well and put him on child support
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Child support is the financial responsibility of the father. Doesn’t mean he will see your child. File for support Bc that’s the bare min he should do.
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He doesn’t have to be on the birth certificate to get child support
I say don’t waste your time or the headache. Is this man something you really want to stress on every 2-4 weeks for the next 18 years? He’s not on the birth certificate and he wants nothing to do with the baby, I say don’t look back
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You can actually do this and I would. I would go file and give them all the information you had. They will have to do a DNA test though
If he didn’t sign the birth certificate I don’t think you can until you have that finalized. And that depends if he even wants to be in the child’s life. He might just sign the rights over. I’m not sure how it works where you are.
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Yes get child support
Zero way I would ask for child support or have the father legally establish paternity. That opens the door to visitation and I would not want my child going somewhere they were unwanted. Paternity laws vary by state but in Illinois, if the parents aren’t married the man has to go to court to establish paternity. Does he have a girlfriend or wife? How would they treat your child? How would he treat the child? Some things are more important than money.
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Get dna test so he cant refuse
When you go to the child support office they ask for anyone you slept with in the last 3 months before you knew you were pregnant. They are able to in wi not sure where your located to be able to miss 3 Court dates for the paternity test then 3 for the child support. It may be a long process if he does not want to be evolved but in the end it will be. Putting his name on a list especially if your on government assistance they will seek out and make sure they they find put who the father is
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Unpopular opinion, but women can get abortions and give babies up for adoption without any responsibility. If a woman can choose to not parent, then the men also get that choice. 
He clearly doesn’t want to be a part of your life, or the child’s. I wouldn’t even pursue it personally. If you need financial help you should look into what your state has to offer.
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My sons dad is not on his BC has my last name I filed through the attorney general for CS my son is now 18 years old his dad will be paying CS till he is 21 or if he graduates high school or gets his GED
Just file CS give all the info u have on father let them do the rest yes they will do dna test if he denies being the father
I’m in Texas
I wouldn’t be wanting him on the birth certificate. He’s obviously doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. And if he does it will cause problems later…when maybe your child has a new dad who wants him…
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I wouldn’t care much for cs personally but by hook or by crook he made the baby he would put his name on the birth cert even if he never did anything else just my opinion
I swear i could have written this post myself lol is his name Femi? 
Girl file for child support. Hold his ass accountable. Your child deserves to be fully supported. He doesn’t have up be involved to support his child. And know this - a piece of paper doesn’t make a man a father if he’s not being a father. Someone else will come along that wants to fill that role and do it WELL. In the meantime, having no father is better than having a shitty, undependable father. You are all that baby needs right now 
Is there a reason he didn’t sign the birth certificate at birth. Is he doubting the child is. Before you can claim child support you have to prove the child is his
Put his name on the birth cert a day the ird will do the rest
I’ve been through this. My bf was even there for the birth but would not come sign the birth certificate to prove paternity (TX) and he has seen my son a handful of times. My son is almost 7. I have chosen not to pursue child support because they automatically make it joint custody. And for a biological father not wanting to be in my son’s life, I will always remain sole custody.
I was dumb and gave my son his dad’s last name but I have since had it changed to mine with a court order.
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You don’t need him on the birth certificate to get child support… you get a legal DNA test… file paperwork at the court house.
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Ask yourself a serious question. Do you want this man to be the father figure your son grows up imitating? If your answer is no then leave it be.
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I say file for child support. Your child will eventually want to know who his dad is. He will eventually ask questions. Before this happens you should get the dna test done.
Men have a choice to wear a condom. If they don’t they are on the hook for child support. It takes two to make a baby and two to support one. You didn’t conceive by yourself.
In my state you file for child support through the office. They will order a dna test then a court hearing will be set up. Also in my state if you file for any assistance they automatically pursue child support.
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If you get any type of government assistance to help pay for the child they will enforce child support anyway.
He was involved in creating him, he also should face the music of raising him!
My daughter is just turned 5 I fought with her bio father for 4 years trying to get him to be around (which was a mistake) so I eventually established paternity for the purpose of getting him to sign over all rights to her so he couldn’t come back later 
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Get child support! I am going through the same issue with my youngest sons dad, he has never even attempted to meet his son and the baby is 6 months old now. File through the county child support office, they will send him the summons and if he doesnt show up he can be held in contempt of court and go to jail. And to those that say if you need child support then you dont need that child I will say this, he helped create that child so he should have to help in some way. Kids are expensive and men should also have to deal with that consequence of having a child. If he didnt want a baby then he should have either worn a condom or just abstained from sex.
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Put your last name for the baby. And then go to your child support office and they will do the rest. You need to know his name and if his address, where he works, birthdate. They can do the rest.
Just let it be. And enjoy full custody of your kid. I have two 11 and 5. I refuse to file for child support
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If you seek child support and put him on the birth certificate you’ll be giving him rights to the child as well as receiving child support. Personally I’d let the “dad” just stay away. I wouldn’t want to be separated from my baby for visits and such… If he doesn’t wanna be apart of baby’s life then that sucks for him.
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DSS (Department of Social services) usually has a child support office in the US. They can help you establish paternity. Also, in some states, if you want to file for benefits (snap, medical and etc) you have to go after him for child support. They even have lawyers so you don’t have to hire one.
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Even if he comes around, File the paperwork regardless. He might come around thinking you’d take him off. But it’s a financial obligation. Unless u feel like u don’t even want to deal with him at all.
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Putting him on the birth certificate and acknowledging him as the dad would be opening a door you might not want open. Whose to say he meets a female that wants his child as hers so she encourages him to fight for custody. Then you could potentially be the one paying child support. I would just let him go and raise my child without that conflict.
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I would leave him alone, if you go for child support he might go for custody just to spite you not because he wants to be in his child’s life. Child support won’t make someone be a parent.
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Go for the child support but don’t put him on the birth certificate. If god forbid your child is in a life or death situation in the hospital or need his passport you need the father to approve everything. My sons father is on nothing & my son is able to do things without his approval he’s 16 but go for the support
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I would not put him on the birth certificate. As far as the child support goes. He had sex with you. There are consequences for every action. It doesn’t matter if he wanted the baby or not. He still needs to support the child. All these women saying they did it without… Ok that’s great but it’s a struggle to financially support a child on your own for most people. Child support and custody are 2 completely separate issues. If you decide to file for support that doesn’t give him any rights except the right to pay for the child he made. If he wants visitation with the child that’s completely separate. Please don’t try to be super woman and does this alone
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Wow some of these comments. Child Support and custody/visitation are 2 different things in court. ABSOLUTELY take the man… or should I say boy to court for child support. If he refuses to pay let him tell that to a judge. If he chooses to take you to court for custody, which taking into consideration what he has already said he will not bother, let him, it is unfortunately his choice. How long you were in a relationship or anything like that does not matter. Not in court and DEFINITELY not on Facebook.
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You can file for child support. They will send him paperwork for paternity first and foremost. If he doesn’t take the paternity test they will automatically assume he is accepting that he is in fact the father and they will set It up. As far as getting his name on the birth certificate there is no need for It when It comes to child support. Also for people saying that he will have rights if he is paying support that is actually untrue. Child support and custody/visitation are two completely different things. My daughters father is not and has never been involved in her life, he has a child support order and is NOT on her birth certificate which in turn regardless of him paying child support he has no legal right to my daughter.
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Word of advice. Go for that child support. Chances are if he doesn’t care now he never will. But if he does decide to care. That would be AWESOME. Sometimes it takes time, but don’t deny the opportunity. My oldest dad wasn’t in her life until she was 2. Even though paternity and child support was established when she was an infant.
My younger 3 dad pays child support and if I didn’t make it happen for my kids to see him, it never would. Some men suck at being dad’s. But you and your child deserve support. Period. I applied online. Just Google your state plus child support and see what you figure out.
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File for child support in your local office. Any Dhs office can help you! Getting child support does not automatically give rights! He will have to take you to court and you already have proof he’s not been there since day 1.
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Need more information. Is it someone you had a relationship with? Have known a long time? Do you know their character well? If you choose to put them on the birth certificate for the CS there’s no guarantee you’ll get the $ but there’s a guarantee he will have rights to your child. I would not risk it if the man is actively acting like he doesn’t want to be a part of the child’s life.
Being a single mom is hard but you can do it and there are other options for financial help as well.
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These comments saying don’t try for child support because he may seek custody in the future are not helpful sorry. You don’t have to justify to anyone why you need it. Whether he will be present or not with you’re child raising a child is expensive. Most definitely file .
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Go for child support, but if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby I honestly wouldn’t push it. I would be too nervous about something bad happening to the baby
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Think about it this way…
If you handed that baby over to him, and said you didn’t want to be a mother, don’t think for one second he wouldn’t take you for support.
While his mother or new girlfriend raises the baby.
Your not married.
You have every right to seek support.
Depending on the state your in, if you go for cash assistance, they will force you to take him for support.
I’m in PA.
When I had my first daughter, I filled for support and full custody at the same time.
Its not handled by the same department. But if your not working, its free to file.
Don’t put yourself ina position to struggle, just to let this guy off the hook.
Personally, I refuse to take either one of my exs, for a large amount.
I don’t want to leave them destitute.
$100 or less per week.
Its not going to pay all your bills, but it will help with diapers.
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Honestly I would just ask him to sign his rights over but I don’t think you can get child support. Probably better off without him in your life.
You have 2 options…
Leave him alone, his name ect isnt on the birth certificate. And you get no child support. You will have full custody and he will have no say.
Or you fight him, giving him an options down the line for custody and parental decisions. And spend a long time in court.
I’d honestly go with option 1. But I’m bias and have seen my friends in similar situations now regretting it years later as he is still fighting her in court and yet refuses to be a father 
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Maybe you can pursue child support and even be angry at the way he is acting but at the same time place what is best for the the baby as the main priority. Dad may be doing this because he is just an a×+hole…bit maybe just maybe dad is acting this way for another reason…like he is human and we arent perfect and he is fearful or maybe he doesnt believe he is the father whatever the reason maybe you can try encouraging him to be an active parent to this child. Children do better with a mom and dad and for the childs sake doing what you can to get him to be involved is what’s best for the child and you can do this and be mad at him but for the childs sake maybe you can help this guy be involved…either way go for the child support…that and visitation custody are separate issues…child support doesnt guarantee him visitation…just as not paying child support doesnt stop visitation…
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My sons father is not on his birth certificate and I have had no problem getting child support. He hasn’t tried to be in his life nor have I tried stopping him. I used my child support mostly for daycare and it was very helpful having it. If he ever did try to contact his son I would have no problem with it whatsoever but he doesn’t.
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If he hasn’t bothered to get in touch, then I’m sorry to say, but its seems like he doesn’t care hun.
Just move on with u and ur child.
Let him deal with the explanations when ur kid wants answers.
U just be the best mum u can be!
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Mommy if you really need money from his side,you should go for child support, even if his name is not on the certificate. But if you don’t need the money then let it be,God will deal with him. In the western cape the courts are very strict on fathers not wanting to pay for their kids. And he will never get custody of your child coz you had to take him to court to get money from him.
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File if you want to, but that also opens up his ability to have custodial rights to the baby as well, even if its shared custody.
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In my opinion, just like a woman can have an abortion if she pleases, a man should be able to walk away if he pleases.
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You have every right to child support, regardless of his interest in visiting the child.
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If he doesn’t wanna be in the child’s life don’t force him to be let the kid grow up child support isn’t an answer tbh can’t force it and by doing that your holding onto him and later down in life it’s gonna hurt the kid because he has to pay child support but doesn’t wanna see the kid? If you wanna hurt your kid by doing so go right ahead but I think it’s completely wrong to do so at least the kid has one parent I don’t believe in child support because of my parents they said if you need another mans money to raise the kid just don’t have kids plain and simple just because you file for child support doesn’t mean you’ll get it because they will have to do a dna test and he can refuse to do that so you wouldn’t get your child support either or and if he doesn’t have a job then can’t get it anyways save the trouble and do it yourself don’t depend on a man that doesn’t want anything to do with that kid it’s just gonna hurt you 
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Just bring up your child . Do not let toxicity into your childs life.
Trust God and depend on him fully and in the end you will thank Him for the most awesome human being your child will turn out to be.
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You can establish custody w/o him being on the BC. It may create more issues than you want to deal w/ in the future.
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If you need the child support then file love. Don’t let people scare you into thinking that receiving the support means your child will be taken from you.
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If he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby I would 100% leave him alone. Forcing him, using the courts only makes him entitled to something he doesn’t want/deserve. Also an extra headache, and keeping ties with him. There’s lots of programs that help single moms. That’s just me though
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If he made the baby then he helps monetarily support him…whether he wants to see the kid or not. Establish paternity…child support and visitation are 2 separate things…he can pay child support without being involved if he doesn’t want to be. Good luck!!!
In my state if you apply for any type of assistance such as Food Stamps or Medicaid, the DHS office works with the Child Support Enforcement Office to go after the absent parent for Child Support for you. They send a letter stating that you have to cooperate with them or you may be denied whatever assistance you applied for. Not saying applying for assistance applies to your situation or anything. Just not sure if your state does the same or not.
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I’m assuming he’s not on the birth certificate because he chose not to be in the child’s life? Or you chose that? Either way, filing for child support means he has rights and he could potentially fight you for the baby.
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Did you both want the child did he say from the beginning he didn’t want the baby? I feel like he should be responsible for his part especially if he was for the baby in the beginning. You didn’t make the child by yourself and if you need help then go for the child support.
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Hold on. This isn’t money for you. His father is financially responsible as are you. If he doesn’t want to see his kid the least he can do is pay for him
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This varies from state to state, so first look into your states laws, and if you’re state is one where visitation and support are separate then absolutely get support, if they are not then you do what you feel is best. Knowledge is so powerful especially when it comes to our babies… my oldest son has a support order but his father and that side of the family has never tried for any kind of visitation even with me offering to drive my son to them so they could be in his life, but he’s 18 now and well my boy wants his last name changed to the man whose raised him since 18 months old. No court will remove rights unless there’s another to adopt or they are not fit to have them.
Go to your local child support office file for child support. They will ask you for any info you may have on the suspected father. Then they will issue a declaration of paternity which then you will go to court and the suspected father (if he shows up) will get a chance to declar he is the father. Then an order for support will be put into affect
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My son is almost 19 and I got child support when he was 3. His father paid the 50.00 a week but never really tried. Until he 15, even then it was more financially but that isn’t what me or my son wants. (He sent money to help towards baseball, school trip to Peru, sent items required for Peru trip, and sent Christmas/birthday/graduation money).
With that said, it doesn’t really matter. If he wanted to be there he would. Child support isn’t worth it. So much that I never once took him back to court to in crease the monthly support.
Don’t waist your time unless your son wants it
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My daughters dad never signed her birth certificate at all but the government took him to MEP for child support because I was on income support. Never needed a DNA test or anything 
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Child support can push a court order for him to have a paternity test at his expense. Then he is made to pay child support.
Idk if this is help. But with us, the father is on the bc, he pays Child Support (well is suppose to), and I have 100% custody of our son.
I mean if hes made it clear he doesn’t want anything to do with this child and isn’t on the birth certificate do yourself the favor save the headache and leave it be.
It won’t make him be a father but its all about the principle and he should be held accountable if he didn’t know how to pull out or wrap it up ,one way or another he’s going to have to feel it
My sons nearly 12 ive never had a penny and he doesnt bother with him…so i just act like hes not alive…scum
Go after child support… The father not wanting to see his child does not negate the fact that he is legally obligated to take care of his responsibility.
First of all, to hell with what other people have to say. Absolutely yes you should go after him for child support. If he’s not man enough to be there in the first week of his life then he could at least help support him financially.
You never know what’s going to happen in the future, you may be have enough $ to support your baby without the child support now but God Forbidden you get sick then what?
My baby’s father wanted an abortion, I took it upon myself that I didn’t want to do that, he made it clear he wasn’t ready for a child so I didn’t involve him in anything. I too wanted him on the birth certificate for status reasons, he told me he was scared to sign it, cause he’s friends said I would make him pay child support, I honestly don’t want his money. I like to think that if he’s not involved I don’t need to share my daughter with his family who live on the other side of the country.
Buuut that’s just me.
Go for the support!! Never feel like support is bad, he made his bed now he has to lye in it! My daughters father is on the birth certificate and we split (not married) when she was 2 months old, he went 2 whole months without asking about her or seeing her because he said of our past together. What an Ass right? I filed for child support and then he tries turning around and saying I’m not giving him any visitation so he filed for rights, after many times of texting and calling asking if he wants to see her… long story short, I have physical custody, he gets say so of certain things and visitation, (but doesn’t even care or ask) he gets her every other weekend and he pays me child support weekly!! It all works out in the end, never think a father is going to take away your child, it really eats away at your mind, trust me I know! Mother’s should always be the custodial parent, unless deemed unfit! You can do this. I hope the best for you!!
You can’t get child support if he doesn’t accept being the dad and you can’t put him on the certificate with out him doing so himself you can take him for a paternity test so the courts can go above him and do it id honestly put father unknown
Forget those people that say that. You both contributed to making that beautiful life, if he wont physically be there for you kids, the very least he can do i contribute financially and not leave you holding the bag for something you both took part in creating. Plus college, and doctor bills,etc. Half of that is his responsibility whethwr he wants to admit it and man up or not.
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I think this is a personal decision to make. I personally couldn’t be bothered going through all the legal processes. Without proof of paternity i really had no grounds to stand on without going to court and to be honest he disappeared of the face of the earth for years. It would of really helped me raise my son with his financial assistance but I chose to enjoy my son without worrying about the stress of having to go to court etc. I didn’t hear from him for 9 years. Then with permission of my son he met his dad and now has a great relationship with him and will help anyway he can.
He doesn’t need to be on the Birth Certificate for you to get child support. Don’t put him on the certificate but he has to pay child support!
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I was in this position once. I completely dropped it because I talked to a lawyer who advised that if he goes long enough without any financial support/emotional support of the child and acknowledgement of the child, his rights would be totally forfeited and he could never come back and say he had decided to step up. Establishing child support also gives him rights to the child and I wasn’t about to hand rights to someone like that. This was 10000% the right decision for my son. Fast forward 10 years and my son has been adopted by my boyfriend of 10 years and we’re about to buy a home together. He’s been in our lives since he was 5 months old, and the only dad he’s ever known and the best dad he ever could’ve asked for. He knows his truth and we are very open with him about it. He doesn’t even care. He knows how loved he is and he’s very secure about it, but knows we will always honestly answer his questions. I could’ve never known it would turn out like this when I made my decision, but I’m so happy I didn’t position my kiddo for a lifetime of hurt for a couple hundred bucks a month from someone who would never love him the right way anyway.
Why would you want him to have any rights over your child?!
Don’t put him on the BC!!
Check the laws of the state your living in. If he is in another it is a different process. Different states have different laws.
You can’t just put him on, it’s a process. You have to file with dhs. He will have to be served a court ordered blood dna test. Once that comes back you can file for child support. I know someone who went through this and it took about 3 years.
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You do not need to establishment paternity to claim child support, if he denies paternity he will have to pay for a DNA test to prove it 
also access and child support are 2 totally different things and not seeing your child doesn’t not make you not liable to pay for your loss child. My ex went to visit family when I was 7 months pregnant never to be seen again, my child is now 10 and he has never met his Dad, Dad’s choice. When we have made arrangements he has decided last min the latest fuck buddy is coming too, I know it is hard and emotional and you will probably be angry that you didn’t create your child alone but have to do everything alone but I can say from personal experience it isn’t the end of the world and in my case I am 100% my son is happier and more well balanced cause his lying, game playing, self absorbed other parent has never bothered so he has never dealt with any arguing etc, be strong ypu can do this 
Yes start a case. They will do a DNA test to make sure he’s the father and order child support according to his income.
You need to establish custody so that if he comes and visits your child and say you go to the restroom and he takes off with child…if there isn’t a custody order the cops in most states wont male give back the child…but when the custody is established then the child support will be ordered as well…
& I wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate, he dosent want to be involved.
If he isnt on the birth certificate, you can not get him for child support just like that you will have to file and they will make you do a DNA test first
In my opinion I would not ask for anything. I would not want to potentially have to share my child with someone, who clearly doesn’t want to be involved. I would just count my blessings and move forward. As much as it sucks to not have support, is it worth the fight? If he is taken to court, he may ask for 50/50 to avoid child support. If he doesn’t want to be present now, I would be concerned with sharing my child with him. Someone who doesn’t want to be involved with the child now, shouldn’t get the pleasure just to avoid child support by trying to be forced to be involved.
For the child’s sake. Do as yi can as his mother. He will need you more later then you’ll need the issue with Childsupport now.
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So the father wants nothing to do with it and you plan to force him to help pay. But if the mother wanted nothing to do with it then she could just walk away huh?