My still current husband and I have been separated for a little over a year now, and we lived in an apartment when I caught him cheating on me once we both moved out of the apartment I had to go live with a friend with our child, so I had dropped off some of our daughter’s toys bc I didn’t have enough room where I was staying. Well, i now have enough room to take back what I had him stored in his house. The problem is though is he won’t answer me back when I call or text him. I think its bc he has a new girlfriend. I have made multiple attempts to call him and try to get in contact with him, but nothing has worked. My question is, how should I go about getting her stuff back from him. Should I get the police involved, or should I just go over there, but then also his girlfriend doesn’t like me much since we were all in high school together, and she bullied me a lot, so I don’t want to get into a fight as well.
Pick your battles. Are toys worth s confrontation. You have to decide whether to draw a line or its best to let go
Why not just let it go
I mean i would not get myself in all this at all
Let it go and get your baby what you can. Opening Pandora’s Box never ends well. Let sleeping dogs lie. Best advice I ever got from a lawyer.
Buy her new things. If he’s going to be that petty I’d stop calling him period.
I’d let it go and buy new stuff. It’s not worth the headache and drama. SINCE He’s not having anything to do with your daughter I hope you have him on CS. Use that to take her new toy shopping and pick out what she wants.
Not worth the battle hun honestly …pick them wisely i have been in your position and the toys arent worth it
It’s been a year and you have not needed them regardless of space. I would let it go.
Police I learned can’t get involved with who owns what because that’s for a judge to decide. That’s what I was told when my ex husband wouldn’t let me take anything. Good luck.
There is a third option…forget about the toys! If you’ve gone a year without them then you dont need them. Are you sure this isnt just an excuse to inject yourself into his life a year later?
Buy new toys.
I took my daughter, our clothes, my car and left everything to him. Everything else can be replaced unless it a family heirloom. Then I can understand.
Do not go without police😂 to avoid com
Take the police to pu baby girls stuff so it is calm and you can get in and out
If your going to show up at his place, bring the police with you for a witness. Secondly, do you really need those toys? If it’s been a year, I would leave it & buy the stuff over again. Not worth the stress of having to deal with him, if he’s leaving you alone that’s probably the best
You’re married. Cops won’t get involved. Even if it’s your daughters things, what’s yours is his. You haven’t needed it in a year, but new things.
It’s just stuff. Replace it
All material things that can be replaced. It’s not worth the energy dealing with him and his petty girlfriend. Leave everything and let go. Buy new things to create memories with. Your peace of mind and mental health are worth so much more especially for your daughter.
I’m sorry…don’t mean to sound bad but rule #1 is…when you split- take your shit. Good luck…I definately would not go over there alone…be safe
It will bother him more once you stop calling him right now he feels like he has you over a barrel because he has something you want but it really isn’t worth it if it’s been close to year your baby has out grown the things any way but stop calling texting no communication at all just show him you don’t need him make him wonder what’s going on you will win way more by letting go
Probably better off letting it go. Price of inconvenience is too high. Not worth it. Move on.
Id just let it go and get new things she’s probably out growing those items anyways
If it’s been a year. Let it go. Get your daughter new toys. She doesn’t remember them after a year. Is it really about the toys?
Not sure where you’re located, but in many states, until you’re divorced, stuff like that is joint property. Cops won’t help. Talk to a lawyer.
I would text him and and tell him I want my stuff and if he still ignors you I would go there with a friend and some boxes, dont let this cheater intimidate you, he did wrong not YOU!!!
Cut ur losses. Ain’t worth the sweat ur putting urself through. She got along for a year without them. Move on.
Let it go and buy different. It’s just stuff. Don’t put yourself in that position. it’s not worth it!
Take someone else with you.
If you still own the home you have a right to be there.
Get her new stuff. Leave that stuff there. Move on.
I’m more concerned that it sounds like he doesn’t see or support his daughter I agree with just let the material stuff go !!
If it’s just toys is it really worth the frustration? Just let him keep it. I would give him the satisfaction of feeling like he’s holding u hostage over some toys.
In my state anything left over 90 days is considered abandoned. Just add it in the divorce papers and hope he still has it.
Um. Do you really need that stuff? Do you really want to cause problems over …nothing. If you have managed to live without the stuff this long. Buy new stuff. Its pretty simple.
I know you know the answer. I think your not over him, so any excuse to make contact with him you will use.
let it go and build!! fuck all that shit
Stop calling and texting him,he things you are desperate buy new staff for kid.Concetrate on healing yourself and it shall be well.
You had a whole year to collect your items & store them elsewhere…time to cut your losses & move along ma’am.
Be the bigger person. Keep trying to contact him but, keep it to your daughter only. That way it looks bad on him if he communicate back.
Just get new toys and call it a day. I’m sure your daughter isn’t missing those toys and would be happy with whatever you get her, and/or what she already has.
Sherriffs department may be able to help you go over there and get it.
Get new toys
Get new stuff
If you can’t afford it right now just wait until you’re able too. Save the drama
Not worth it over toys.
You can contact the non emergency number for your local police department and they will stand by while you collect your things.
Over toys? Nah, she will outgrow them. You have to learn to let shit go.
Forget bout it it’s just toys
Also it will take a court case to get ur stuff back
Call the non emergency number and ask the cops to escort you to the apartment to retrieve your daughters things to keep the peace…thats all you say…the more detailed drama you reveal the less prone they will be to help you and theyll blow you off and tell you to handle it in court.
Oh mama it’s time to move on. Get the papers in motion and then just know you did your best. Keep pushing forward and make life the best you can for you and your kiddo. Girl you know your worth go after it
Let him have them. It’s been a year. More than likely your child has already out grown those items. It isn’t worth the fight or drama. Let it go!
Does he have contact with your daughter ? If they are her things I would leave them be with him so she has toys to play with when she visits there.
I feel like I read this exact situation earlier today…I think you would have to go to court to even have a chance of getting the stuff back…bc they’ve been there so long I don’t think a sherrifs dept etc will help you at all. In all honesty I know it sucks when you’ve bought and paid for things for your kid and you should be able to get them back but it may just be better to forget about them and purchase new things. It’ll save you a lot of headache and drama in the end
It’s over 1 year later they might consider it abandon property…
Were you using him as a storage unit?
Why do you want those toys over 1 year later is it because you have a new baby n dont want to buy new toys?
Why did you wait this long to get them?
Tell hom to shove the stuff up hos butt and buy her new ones one at a time.
You didn’t care about the toys until he had a girlfriend is what I heard…
Answered this two days ago- after 6 months it is considered that you abandoned the items unless you have a written contract that states he will store the items for you
We had some of my daughters toys in storage for 9 months. She had no idea what was in there. I’d say forget the stuff.
This post again?
If it’s just toys, count your loss and move on. Get different toys and stay away from him.
This exact post was already made a few days back. Question; I’ve personally submitted a few questions and still to this day have never seen my post asked on the page…but now we’re repeating old ones?
You need to move on from him and the toys… not trying to be rude but seems like you never moved on and just want contact with him… I been there trust me forget everything. If he wanted to contact you he would 100% find away they always do!!
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I doubt the cops will do anything I think you just need to take the loss and get her new stuff
4 words for you.
let go of the material stuff.
Just going thru the same thing… only I have our two sons, 5and 7… The boys n I have started again… the ex stripped our house, boys toys and some of my belongings, our daughters ashes and both vehicles… it is hard but both boys haven’t suffered from the kids of their toys… it has now been six months and we are doing better now than I ever did with him… Be strong hun. Things will get better…
Time to move on and forget the toys. I am guessing that he isn’t visiting the child. Otherwise it wouldn’t be hard for you to ask him when he is picking up the kid to bring the toys to you when he drops her back off. To me it sounds like you are seeking to start drama because he has moved on and you don’t like the new girlfriend. Let it go. He probably got rid of the toys a long time ago. It’s been a whole year.
Choose your battles. If it’s been over a year what is it that you NEED? Anything that is there can be handled in the divorce. You have many years of co-parenting ahead of you. Are the things there worth the trouble that will be stirred up by getting cops involved or going over there? Look forward, not back
Have a police officer go with you, they’ll at least be able to help you get your own stuff back. They can just be there as a peace keeper and just make sure you’re able to get your stuff
Specific what you want in the divorce when you file. You should have a amount of time after the divorce to get your items. If its the childs items and you all are sharing custody you may have to split the items.
If it’s just a few things I would call it a loss and move on. Or consider it stuff she can have while she visits. Which I’m sure he will get when custody is established
call the police and ask them to meet you over at his house. and explain that ll you wana do is get your stuff…i had to help my mom with a simular situation and they did help. good luck
If he’s avoiding you its certain that his girlfriend has a lot to do with that. Just get the police involved, you may need to show them your texts to show your unanswered attempts.
If it’s items you can repurchase they do so. You child will be happy with their new presents. Don’t waste your energy on him at all. It’s not worth it. You have moved on and you will be so much better.
Good luck with that. Just let it go. He wont give.it back. Its a control thing. From “been there done that”.
If he’s already with a new girl, get a divorce and child custody. It seems he doesn’t care about a family
Start over, leave it be. Don’t stress about something that you can replace on your own. Clearly he isn’t thinking about the best interest of his child.
I have learned to pick my battles. Toys are easy to replace. If it’s something of value then split it in the divorce, family heirloom fight for it in court. Otherwise let it go and rebuild
I agree with Sara Kauffman, and the only reason he with the girl from high school is that he knows it bothers you, if he is that low of a man, move forward everything is replaceable, trust me I’ve been there. Move forward only do things for the sake of the child.
Call the police to escort you I will pray!
If there is an agreement but you have custody you can take a sheriff with you to pick up the belongings of your child.
Sorry your dealing with this. It’s not easy to go get new stuff especially now that many of us have been out of work so long with covid and not many stores were open either. Hope he can be reasonable and give them back for your child. I would have someone with me to be safe
Remember, possession is 9 tenths of the law, it’s been there over a year, unfortunately, legally it’s his. Please, hold your head up high, smile and March on!!!
Its a civil matter and thats what the police will tell u. Besides u left it there a year the judge is more then likely side with him. Good luck but remember its all replaceable
Forget about the stuff and start building up a new collection of toys for her.
Girl, let that man and that stuff go. Move on. He has shown you who he is. Probably showed you before, please believe him this time.
Honestly you can’t do much. Once you abandon it which is pretty much what you did after 30 days he can do w/e he wants with it… At least that’s kinda the “law” where I live unless you take them to court & have proof of everything
Unfortunately, if he doesn’t willingly give it back there is nothing you can do. The police will not intervene. They will tell you it’s a civil matter. Been there before.
There’s a procedure for this with the constable. You give notice what you are collecting and the person should just have it ready for you to collect and the police just make sure y’all stay peaceful and you don’t go in their house or anything like that.
Ask him again when you do custody exchange with the child. Unfortunately you can’t expect someone to store stuff for a year for you and decide on your time when you are ready to pick it up. I would work on replacing the things. It’s been a year if you have lived without them that long I say cut your losses.
Unless it’s personal items I’d leave it alone let him get on with his life and you yours. If it’s personal I’d send him a letter get it signed for so you know he’s received it, add a time limit on it and if no response I’d perhaps send someone round who’s mutual x
My attitude oh please don’t beat me up over this if it’s just toys go buy her new ones.
U wouldn’t have to file any report, just inform the police what happened & they’ll accompany u to the house to retrieve ur stuff…
What’s the stuff? If its just toys and you have some, forget abt it cuz then kiddo has stuff to play with over there… If its memorabilia show up when u know he will be there. If its jealousy or wondering abt his new life leave it allll the way alone!
Just get new stuff unless it’s super sentimental, if so then send a certified letter with a date and time for pick up, tell him in the letter exactly what items you want, ask him to put them out on the porch and do not go alone. If when you go it is not there just leave call a lawyer for advice.
Just buy new toys. It isn’t worth the fight.
Whatever it is forget it. The child has grown out of it. Just get divorce and move forward
I’d get someone, like a couple guy friends and just go over there. Text him or call and leave a voicemail stating that you’re going over to get that stuff. Have the guy friends there to assist you so that he or the girl don’t try anything.
Otherwise, I’d just say screw it to the stuff and get new stuff.
Just for toys? People divorce, leave common homes with all possessions & not even taking a spoon out of the home and you want to fight for mere toys? Especially where you sense your life may be in danger,
it’s not worth it.
For some people peace of mind is way important, they’d buy other toys. Leave a low life to live his low life.
You can get a police escort but he doesn’t have to return your things unfortunately. It’ll take going to court to get your things back if he chooses to be uncooperative
Let the stuff go. Move on. Let him live his own life and worry about your child. It doesn’t sound like you want to see if to get the stuff otherwise I can’t see why he would be ignoring you…
They’re toys. By now, your child has other toys. When she visits her dad, she can play with her older ones. Sounds like it isn’t the toys you’re interested in, but causing needless problems. Move on.
Its been over 30 days so that means legally you gave up ownership. Police cant do anything