I was in a very similar situation so if you would like to chat, I would be happy to!
You can apply for government housing if in the U.S. and assistance. Tell them you’re separated. While you wait, apply for jobs. I left before I had a job so this is what I did.
You want to leave because it’s inconvenient for you? Because you aren’t happy?
I can understand if he’s abusive, but you’ve said he isn’t.
You lack attention, not affection. Your husband is slaving away providing for both of you. He’s tired when he gets home. He wants rest when it’s his days off. ‘Living his life and making his dreams come true’. Woman, he’s working for his fucking dreams. What else? It seems you also lack communication. You want him to show you more affection? Tell him. You’re a grown-ass woman. Dropping hints like shit’s a game will get you nowhere.
You’re not in-love with your ex. You’re just reminiscing all the attention he gave you when you were still together.
Fucking ‘I’m not happy anymore’ my ass.
What do you plan on doing with your daughter?
I hope he subpoenas that fan question so he can prove she was the issue
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Employment and day by day you will figure things out
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Seeing a lot of typical women saying get daddy government to help you.
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No judgement here … But I would suggest you get a job and start putting money up and then do what you have to do … But I wouldn’t leave for the ex … I would leave for you … Hope it all works out
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Please stop talking to the ex get yourself together first i would do everything to try and reconnect with my husband first and then if that didnt work i would divorce after i saved some money (make a real effort and it will take time) but please do not get back with the ex it might be nice at first but probably wont last dont jump out of the frying pan into the fire
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If you really want out and you ex is still in love with you, have him send you the money for the divorce, ask for nothing but your personal belongings and set up co parenting schedules that do not make it hard on the father to work with! You didn’t say whom move out of the bedroom or why (would be easier to give valid advise if new more facts) … you seem to be the one wanting out and not participating in trying to keep you marriage kindled! Ex husbands are usually ex’s for a reason. Need to think about it (was it his behaviors or your behaviors) as to why you are now unhappily married to another man!
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Be an adult about it and be honest, if your focus here is money that’s a major issue to begin with and more fool you for not standing your ground on what YOU want. Also, WTF did you get married o him if you “love your ex”? Like, honestly what was the thought process…
If he loves you he will help you and want the best for you but he will need honesty to begin with and he will need you to not turn on him once you get what you want…because I guarantee he will come tenure getting what he wants and you are (based on my own experience) going to not like that. Commit now to helping him help you and help yourself but do t hurt him in the process, guarantee he will then back you all the way
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You did it to yourself. First get a job and put it in savings. You owe your husband an explanation.
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To the original poster; he was your tribe at one point and you did love each other because you married. Try dating your husband again and pray for him for the next 30 days and see the change. Stop being his mother and his roommate. Be his wife and stop looking for a way out.
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Trial separation… first… discuss how you feel with him. Be brutal and honest it will be hard before it gets easier and you can’t avoid it so best thing would be to fight it head on. If you need to leave reach out to family… you don’t have to divorce asap but try taking it one step at a time.
The first this you have to do is get a paying job. Then seek legal counsel.
Sounds like you need to learn how to fly solo before you make big decisions that tear everyone’s lives apart. Be happy in your own skin instead of thinking your ex will fix everything. Your husband can also got to court and have paperwork done preventing you leaving the state with the child that is both yours to love and be responsible for.
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First of all pray about it. If you thinks your ex wants you back contact him and he will help you get out of this situation.
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Talking to your ex just makes it more confusing. Don’t leave your present husband with the idea of getting back with your ex. Just won’t work.
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Ur ex might be clouding ur judgement, dont leave a marriage for another man/woman whatever.
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I agree get a job and begin to support yourself financially. That is the start to independence and then freedom.
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Your in love with your ex, but your husband is the on supporting you and your daughter & you feel like a maid,grab your clothes move in with your ex ,I’m sure you’re husband will file for a divorce, he deserves to be happy also.There are two sides to a story, Maybe no body is happy because you’re still in love with your ex, evidently your having contact with your ex you know where he’s living after 10 years of being married to someone else, maybe the grass is greener on the other side
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Well it’s safe to say your marriage hasn’t had a fighting chance because you’re still caught up on an ex from 10 plus years ago.
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Maybe he feels the same way🤷🏽♀️ he will probably even pay for the divorce.
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You will never know if you don’t talk about it…
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Get a job. Supporting someone entirely can get old especially if all you are looking for is to spend some
and if you leave how are you going to support your daughter smh… Once you have kids your kids come first not a man, those you can find anywhere.
Best wishes for your husband
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Find you before you go back to the ex. Talk to your hubby and tell him how you feel or at least write it out and let him read it. Never know the feeling might be mutual. Remember you catch more bees with honey so be gentle about it. But Def if you do decide to go it alone find you first.
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Talk to your husband and discuss your feelings. Maybe try to reconnect. He probably see’s the way you feel through your actions anyway. Pretty sure he will be happy to assist considering your in love with your ex and Obviously still talking to him, which is not fair at all to your husband. I feel sad for your husband. If the ex means his word maybe he will help you.
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Living his life making his dreams come true by working his ass off to support all three people in his family and gets stabbed in the back by his wife for doing his part… typical blind bitch causing the problems and blaming the good man…go back to your ex… you never really left him anyway and sabatoged your marriage, your man, your daughter…but yeah it’s all the husband’s fault yeah right, typical POS
I’m not sure where you are…but most lawyers can give you some information for no cost…
Are you thinking of moving in with your Ex??
Do you own a house with your husband??
Same bank account??
To much left out to say how…
Please talk to a lawyer
It’s nice to see there’s sum good women in this thread that are calling this fan out for her indiscretion and have class. There are trust worthy women out there. But this kinda post and the comments of the majority is disheartening to think this is acceptable. “With all due respect”
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First thing you need to get a job so you can take care of you and the child. You’ve been a roommate this long you can be one a little longer until you find a job
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Just go get the Other man that you are fucking and tell him
Get help from your ex since most likely that may be where you end up anyway
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Theres so many men in here calling her a mooch because she’s a stay at home mom lol. Y’all know how expensive childhood care is if the kids not in school yet? If she worked, a large portion of the paycheck would have to go towards daycare if she doesn’t have a reliable sitter who charges a decent rate.
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Ex’s are ex’s for a reason…
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I’ve been married fifty four years and I felt like that at times but if you think about it you will see a good side of husband and give more in relationship and he will to if he loves you and you will begin to love him too the older you get the more you need each other
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If you are in love with your EX , why you married your husband.? Why you are not with your EX.? I fill sorry for your child . It takes two to TANGO!!
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Cant you try to reconnect with your current husband? Start back sleeping in the same bed…wearing lingerie and being seductive…call him a nickname…set up date nights…try to salvage it for your kid? What happens if divorce for an ex that just dumps you after a bit? Think things through and try to make things work where you are at. Your daughter should be in school so maybe look for a job while she is in school can do to make you happier with your own money? Dont just give up in a marriage bc pining over a relationship from the past that failed and is probably doomed to fail again. I’d never want an ex back. Why would you?
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Have you lost feelings for your husband because of the ex ? Was the not sleeping in the same bed happening before or after talking to the ex ? Is all this happening because your talking to the ex so your projecting these feelings so your husband knows your not interested? Or did it just start to become a loveless marriage then the ex happened?
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Grass isn’t always greener on the other side
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You have a husband who takes care of you… maybe the marriage is ruined because YOU are in love with your ex 
that is just terribly wrong… remember that the fact that you love someone else, changes the way you treat your husband… maybe that is why things are going the way they are. Cut off your ex, try to fix things with your husband and maybe you will find out that the fault lies with you, not him…
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Have you started by trying to work on your marriage? Not to be a D, it’s a serious question! Being a SAHM was not my thing and very depressing! My SO and I figured stuff out as a couple.
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The grass is only greener where you water it. Be careful what you wish for. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, try and remember that reason. Don’t leave a marriage for someone else, especially an ex. If you really can’t make the marriage work just be you and your child for a while. And get a job would be a first step, in any direction.
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Maybe the time your spending on emotionally cheating with your ex could have been put towards strengthening your marriage?
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Talk to your husband first. Get a job, find a daycare, talk to a lawyer, apartment hunt. Hit garage sales for replacing stuff he keeps at least till you can get better stuff.
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I love trashy stories .
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Be brave and tell him the truth. Then see what happens. He might agree to a divorce. You need to be independent and realise you only married him for financial security.
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The grass isn’t greener on the other side… it’s greener where you water it. 
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Not trying to be that person but why would you marry a man well you’re still in love with someone else😏
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You dont meed $$ to get a divorce.
You go to the courthouse and ask gor the divorce w/kids packet and a fee waiver. Filing the fee waiver because you don’t have any income makes it free for everything that you file for your divorce. Play me you can also get all of the paperwork and forms online just friend them up fill them out send them in
some Court has e-filing as well. Depending on what state you live in is going to depend on how you fare financially I know that is if you live in California it’s 50/50 regardless of if you have worked or not or if you bought anything or not you get half in addition because you’ve been a stay-at-home mom he is required to not only pay child support but spousal support. However if I were you and planning on leaving situation where I didn’t actually contribute and then out of the workforce for so long as you might want to go to Community College or something and take some courses so that way when you get out on your own you’re not working for minimum wage
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You need to end one relationship before entering into another. You can always get a job.
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This is exactly what is wrong with modern society. Everything is of no value. Disposable. You are living in a fantasy world with your Ex. You don’t deserve your husband nor your kid. Get a divorce as it suits you (rather than try and work on things). Short term gain, long term pain.
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The greener side is the side you water. You want to stop being a stay at home mom then get out and get a job!
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My question is why be unfaithful and break your vows over some douchebag ex 
he’s an ex for a reason lol
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Sounds like it’s yourself you’re not happy with. Get out, go to school, get a job, daycare. Work on making a better you and you’ll be happier than waiting on a man to fulfil your life.
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A stay at home mom with no income talking to your ex behind your husbands back, the man paying for your phone, internet, and everything else which allows you to be home raising your child. Grow up. If your ex was so in love with you, why isn’t he paying you? How about this…. Get a job! Pay for everything while raising children. Maybe you’d have some more appreciation for your husband. Maybe if you put the effort into bringing The love back to your marriage that your spending on worrying about another man, you’d see a difference. Kudos to your husband for making his dreams come true.
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Just talk to him. Ask him to listen to you for one moment. Its not healthy for both of you and your child to be in a loveless marriage unless that’s what you want to teach your kid too. But I doubt that. Have the courage to talk to him about it. Go on general assistance and let the gov. Help you find work. There is free child care with help. It may be difficult at first but have the courage to do what is right for everyone.
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You trapped yourself. You have chosen to cheat and lie instead of trying to be happy in the life you chose. This is a sad situation for your child who doesn’t deserve to be drug thru the shit b/c you cannot stand up for him/her and their life because of your “feelings”.
Gtfo yourself. Maybe stop messing with the x and Instead put that effort into a family you ACTUALLY HAVE. SMFH
Get a job and save up. This is why it’s so important for women to be independent. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom if you can afford it, but if not, it’s best to at least work part time and put that money into a savings for times like this. At this point I would hire a sitter and go back to work for a year and then leave. You’re not doing yourself or your little one any favors by leaving without any financial security.
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How did you get to a point of staying in different rooms? And why are you entertaining your ex boyfriend? My thing is you are the problem. It seems to me you married because you wanted to either hurt your ex or to catch up to society. Everyone hates confrontation.but marriage is about work and communication. Maybe your husband is going through the same,maybe he thinks u don’t find him attractive or maybe he knows you are talking to your ex. To ex only wants u now because you look good. He doesn’t know the bills your husband is paying. I suggest you go on your knees for a week and pray for God to speak to your husbands heart.do a fasting and start dressing n smelling well even when you are not going out.let your husband see the woman he fell in love with. Everyday give him a compliment,honey u look good,have a good day anything. Do your part for a month and your husband will follow lead. Don’t compare with what your friends are telling you. Your home is probably better than there’s. Be the favor your husband has obtained from the lord and u will find your happiness again.
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Get a job and save your money
Sluurry ill have your man thanks
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This is why I will never be a stay at home mom. I don’t even like the idea of relying on someone else.
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You pray to God and ask God to fix what you can’t and he’ll put you where you need to be. No need to ask those who can’t help!!
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How about ur ex? Will he help you?
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Once you’re a roommate that’s it. You’re both over the marriage. It’s just going to take one of you to initiate the divorce process (which is a bish). In the meantime start setting $ aside, start looking for work, which then you can search for a new place to live. Ex or no ex you need to work on yourself & learn to be independent again. Let this be a learning experience && NEVER EVER depend on anyone but YOURSELF! You got this!!! Sending you positive vibes
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so… you’re in love with a ex… but spend 10 years with someone else, marry them and have a child together… i don’t understand it.
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When you’re married the money and house are 1/2 yours. Go see a lawyer. Pay him afterwards. Get advice from a professional not here. Good luck!
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Why are you in that position to feel unloved and neglected?You have enough to be thankful for.Your husband provides for you and your family.He most probably goes out to work fulfilling both your dreams of living a better life than most families that struggle.You could be bored or stubborn.Living in a little dream world of only concentrating thinking of the good times you had with your ex does not cut it.You are throwing away a life of comfort.What about your daughter.You will uproot her whole life.
Just say that you run back to your ex and think your life will run as smooth as the case may be momentarily.
But we all learn from our own life experiences.Like my Mum always said to me…“Go and bump your head!”
All the best⚘⚘⚘
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Maybe try getting a job. It’ll get you out of the house and get you some of your own money. You should probably have a conversation with your husband
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If you love your x and he loves you, why did you two split up?. It is so easy to forget these things and look on the past through Rose tinted glasses.
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Yes theresgotta be another side to this story lol
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First get some income for yourself
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If your still in love with your ex and he is still in love with you why did u move onto someone else.?You should only love one man at a time.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I go about leaving my husband? - Mamas Uncut
I know in the state I live in, if you’ve been jobless the whole relationship, they are required to still provide for you until you’re able to get a job & provide for yourself. I would start with speaking to a lawyer.
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You said he is out living his life and I am wondering why you are not doing the same. Get yourself some income and start learning how to do things on your own first.
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Not to be mean but sounds like y are the problem so u need to figure it out he shouldn’t have to suffer in a marriage anymore while u love some other guy that’s so wrong in so many levels how do u think he feels
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Your husband probably wants out too so get a job to pay the Bill’s and pay for the court costs and then you are all set and he can take care of you kid’s needs that you cant. It will be hard but neither of you will be miserable anymore.
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I’m beginning to think these things are made up. Does anyone know if the author ever sees the great advice you all give? If so, there is some great advice here hope it’s works out.
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Do the same thing he’s doing! There’s no reason you can’t. I personally think this man is not abusive and he’s out earning an income so you don’t have to work and that sounds amazing to me. I don’t think that I would leave. I don’t think you’re seeing what you’ve got. If you insist on leaving, I certainly wouldn’t do it until you have an income and a job and a career in a place to go since you’re not leaving any kind of abuse. You may find yourself in a worse situation and you may find yourself losing custody of a child.
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When I filed divorce I was able to also file a waiver for the cost if I was on assistance so check with the court. My state I had to get paperwork from library for 3$ and was able to file a waiver for cost like I said . If u haven’t worked you get alimony
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So if I understand this right you essentially married your husband while not being in love with him and wasted years of his life and you want out but want his help to do it? Honey time to pull your big girl pants up and get a job and move out and use a mediator for your divorce if you both can do it amicably it’s much cheaper then a lawyer and court costs.
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First of all the grass isn’t greener… it’s sad that you are throwing him away like garbage. He’s your daughter’s dad. You’ve been living off this man and staying home while he supports the family. Now you got the 7 year itch and want to run off but have no resources to do this. You need to get a job and earn your way honorably out of this relationship for the sake of your child and the man that has supported and protected you. Personally I’d bounce you out and keep my child but hopefully he’s a better person than me. Be upfront with this man and hit him with the cold hard truth. He can’t just toss you in the street so that’s where you need to start.
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For starters, you shouldn’t have married him in the first place, if you never stopped loving your ex. Cause clearly, you never loved him. Secondly… go apply for jobs. And get yourself a job. Third off, it doesn’t sound like either of you are happy in the relationship. Communicate with him. Seperate peacefully. Don’t force him to support two homes thou. He didn’t force you to not work and stay home did he? I’m sure it’ll be extremely tough on him, to support himself, pay all his bills and support your guys child, and support you and pay your bills as well. And, come up with agreements between the two of you. For your child. It is not just you guys involved. You have a child to think about. Who is going to get confused, and hurt by this separation. Making it as less painful and messy as possible for your child, is what’s best. You do already seem bitter, that you’re staying home with your child while he gets to go out and work etc think more about your child in this situation. She is the one that will undoubtedly get hurt the most. And the messier the split is, the more painful it will be for her
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First of all, if they haven’t had sex in years I’m like 99% sure he’s not clueless to her feelings for all of you stating that he’s unaware. Second, if she’s a stay at home mom they might need to find childcare before she “just gets a job”. Maybe that’s something he doesn’t want to pay for in order for her to work. Third, it sounds like the majority of people responding are literally just attacking this poor woman instead of giving her advice and I’m not entirely sure why you’d even comment if you’re going to be nasty. As always in posts like this you never really have all of the facts so how about not being rude to her and just give her some advice if you’ve ever dealt with a divorce.
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Start off by looking for some kind of part time job so you can find that confidence and self worth again. Are you truly in love with your ex or just the idea because he’s not the husband you’re sick of?
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Get a job and support yourself first. I do feel you want out because you want to cheat. I have worked my whole life and been divorced but you need to support yourself and not expect others to support you.
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Start with reading the vowels you made on the day you married your hubby… He may not be happy either - but sounds like he’s a good provider… Be fair to him and let him at least know your thoughts (how sad if he never knew???)…
You are probably thinking the grass is greener with your ex - it’s ONLY ever greener where you water it - try to get marriage advice from people who have a long successful marriage because they would have faced some hardships and had lots victories (maybe they can speak into your life and marriage)…
Ask yourself: What have you done to help the situation?
What else can you do to help…
Don’t throw away your marriage - start with giving it a good go and fight for it 
- you can do it 
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Okay…dont clean out his bank account.
Get a job if you can. Start saving your own money.
Talk to your husband
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Get A job, and take care yourself. Stop using your husband for an excuse. Sounds like you don’t want to work… you just want to be taken care of. Try living in his shoes for a bit. Or just leave, so he can at least enjoy some of his life. Why, did you get divorced from your first husband. Maybe, you are treating your second husband the same way… have you thought about, that it is probably you. Sure, everything can be exciting when you don’t live with someone. But, True love is working things out. Maybe, you should check yourself first.
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No disrespect but it seems like this other person is the reason you’re considering leaving your husband and you are trying to put the blame on him to justify your feelings for another. I would suggest counseling for yourself and for your marriage. And get a job.
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Idk about where you live but there’s “now hiring” signs on nearly every business where I am. Time to be an adult and get a job, pay your way and your daughters way before you even think about another man 
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So u stay at home n he is not abusive? Since u seem to think ur ex is the answer to ur problem maybe u should remember y he is ur ex
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When someone has a addiction to whatever it may be that is what comes first to that person and they are not going to get clean until they want it for themselves…now it’s time for you to focus on yourself and kids.get a job and start saving
Firstly it’s called trying to communicate, and work on things. Secondly it’s wildly inappropriate to have contract with an ex that you have feelings for and that has feelings for you while you’re married it’s cheating rather it’s just emotional or more. Thirdly you’re not thinking about the well-being of you daughter if you’re willing to just up and leave her father for some ex of yours, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side (stop talking to your ex). You and your husband need try to work on things and in the mean time get yourself a job that way if things still aren’t better you two can be adult about it and divorce. Again stop talking to your ex because things couldn’t get ugly if they find out you’re talking to you ex and leaving your husband for him.
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These comments are ridiculous. She doesn’t love the man and she’s not happy. Just because she has feelings for another man let’s not put her husband on a pedestal. We know nothing about this man except what was in the post. For both of their sakes she should leave as soon as possible. Life is way too short to be in an unhappy marriage.
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Get a job and start learning to support yourself. Then decide where you want to go from there.
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If you’re still in love with your ex, after ten years, that’s the whole reason your marriage didn’t work.
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Can file ask the fee to be waved … due to no income
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Have you spoke to your husband? If your relationship is rocky anyway then he might be willing to divorce ambically
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No 1 get a job that will make things a little better for you.
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