Trust me …. Coming from a child that was whooped it only makes us worse…. Prayers and blessings
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Sounds like she might have autism or ODD. I’d get her diagnosed and have them refer you to a specialist.
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You clearly stated you whooped her, how is that not violence?
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Sounds like there is 0 consistency in parenting and handling situations and behaviors.
Behavior is communication. This child is upset and the parents response are triggering behavior more.
Sounds like the parents need parenting classes, and the child needs early intervention assessment.
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You are trying to correct your child’s behaviour by doing what the child is being told off for how the hell do you ever think that would work?
Role-play:
Don’t hit mummy
“Continues to hit mummy”
Take her into another room and hit her
I said don’t hit mummy pack it in!!!
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Give her to a loving adult!
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Stop hitting her.
She has been exposed to hitting.
By you. So of course she thinks it’s ok.
She may have some other underlying issue.
If she snores or you think she may have trouble hearing (or isn’t meeting milestones for speech), see an ent.
I’d ask for a referral to a child psychologist also.
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Maybe talk to her doctor again about other possible issues.
I would be looking into Austism, ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disdorder with her doctors as she sounds exactly like my daughter who has these plus Anxiety. She’s 7 now and much much better than that she was between 2-5 years old.
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“whooping her” is absolutely exposing her to violence so that’s why she thinks it’s okay.
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My son is asd and SPD and is a avoider and seeker so I feel your frustration but hitting will not help the situation, only escalate it to bigger and worse issues !
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She has never been exposed to hitting or violence? She hit someone so you “whooped her?” THAT’S HITTING AND VIOLENCE. This isn’t your child’s problem it’s your problem.
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I’m saying autism as well. And these people who are saying you’re “assaulting” your child are just trying to make you look bad. Like do we all not remember that it was completely acceptable for our parents to discipline us with spankings and shit? It’s only in the last decade or so that people starting frowning upon it. The world we live in wants us to live in this picture perfect world that anything you do will be unacceptable to someone.
I’d be whooping my child too if they went around hitting me and others everyday.
Smacking your child’s hand or ass is not assault or child abuse…. Anyone born before the 2000’s has survived this form of discipline just fine.
Never exposed to hitting or violence, but you “whoop her”. Gee I wonder where she’s getting her examples from?! That’s awful, be better, and talk to her pediatrician.
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I would look into pandas.
You should bring her to a physiologist for an evaluation, there are a few different things that she could have. And don’t listen to the person saying don’t spank. Spanking is okay even Department of Children and Family Services says that spanking is okay 3 open hand smacks on the bum is okay as long as no bruises are left. On another note when she is hitting others that is the only time you should not spank her.
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“She is never exposed to hitting or violence “ yet you hit her 
Focus on and respond to what she needs rather than her behavior 
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Coukd possibly be a sign of undiagnosed autism, there are alot of different types I have experienced some of the same actions , we are now doing chromosome testing
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I don’t have time to read all these comments so here’s what I’m gonna tell you .you said you whooped her I’m assuming that means she spanked her that’s hitting. How do you teach a kid not to hit…. by hitting them? She seem to have a disconnection with her to understand empathy of what she’s done. I would definitely be teaching her that she hurts people when she hits them.she hurts her body she hurts their feelings whatever the situation is. She needs to apologize to the people she hurts. The kind of things she does and you’re describing remind me a lot of children with autism. If you haven’t a work up I would. pulling out her own hair banging her head being frustrated sounds like autism. I wish you the best so hard with kids. God bless♥️
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You, her parent, HIT her and in the same breath expect her not to hit? Children learn from their parents and Y O U are teaching her to be violent. She’s learning from you.
Start getting on her level with your conversations. “I understand you are upset, what is making you feel that way?” “I see you are angry, what can I do to help you get through these big feelings?” you have to acknowledge her feelings. It’s ok for kids to be mad or sad or angry, but finding out WHY and WHAT is the key to helping them through those feelings. People seem to forget kids are allowed to have feelings and show their emotions.
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Hmm you need to get her assessed with a child psych. Then you can work through parenting aspects as well as any possible factors that also come up if for example she’s on the spectrum or if she just needs modified behaviour as a focus plan
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I would be looking at possible more to do with a diagnosis. In the meantime I would suggest googling autism and seeing if anything from there helps work. You can’t say you have tried everything as there is so many things out there that you can try. I know you are frustrated and you are struggling and need help but the only help you will get here are suggestions on what to follow. The Drs and paediatricians will help you 
good luck
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These comments kill me. This generation, man. And we wonder why most kids are spoiled kids. 
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She needs therapy but “whoopings” and punishment!!!
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Omg you people are so funny and judgemental…. If your over 25 years old, did we all not survive being spanked by our parents ? Like relax , the lady ain’t beating her child.
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You punish her by doing exactly what she’s being told off for…?!
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Have her evaluated for ODD by a physcologist
If you have to hit your kid, doesn’t matter why, then that’s violence. You getting frustrated enough that you hit her does NOT in any way teach her the proper way to handle her big emotions.
She sounds like she needs Autism\sensory testing. And you need conscious parenting classes.
If every time you got frustrated someone much bigger than you came in, took you to another room, and hit you, you would NOT be okay.
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Hitting is an issue because you hit her… ugh 
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My son is 4 and has been behaving similarly.
He generally will hit or spit if he doesn’t like something. It’s his way of dealing with emotions. It could be something simple like if daddy enters the room but he doesn’t want daddy there then.
Not going to lie, it has been challenging.
He’s what they call a ‘strong willed’ child and I found that only very specific things work with him.
Hitting to teach someone not to hit…??? Stop the violence first. Second, therapy and a safe place and person that knows how to communicate with little minds. Therapy would be best for all party’s, honestly. You don’t respect your child and she doesn’t respect you, so there are some issues that really need to be healed before they get worse.
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What are you talking about, “she has never been exposed to violence.” Seriously? You are showing her violence by “whooping” her.
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Think she needs to see doctor who deals with this problem.
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Whooped her. A 4 year old. You hit your child because she hit someone else … to teach her not to hit? Yeah start with you.
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1st of all spankings are perfectly fine. It’s not considered violence nor an assault
2nd of all Moma in need… I was told by a therapist that my child needs to be redirected to something more positive. I was also told it was a phase and he would grow out of it. He is 18 months old & also will hit his head on the floor, throw himself on the ground & kick & scream when he doesn’t get what he wants.
It definitely can be frustrating however, try and just walk away and take a few breaths. Also, get a 2nd opinion of her possibly being autistic.
I do hope things get better. Sending prayers and positive vibes 
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You need to have her evaluated for autism. My grandson was diagnosed last year. He is now 4. When he gets frustrated he slaps himself in the face & has pushed people when upset. They cannot process their emotions & DO NOT understand social skills. Please get her evaluated.
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Sounds like she needs counseling somewhere or maybe and MRI to see what’s going on with her brain or a brain scan,… Because something is putting her out of control like that and there shouldn’t be any reason for it just saying
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You’re telling her not to hit… by hitting… and asking what the problem is? Seriously. Stop hitting children! Physical punishment of children: lessons from 20 years of research - PMC
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“She’s not exposed to violence”
“I took her out of the room and whooped her” 🤷🏻♀
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She’s FOUR YEARS old. It’s your responsibility to teach her what’s acceptable and what will not be tolerated. Does that take quite a bit of your time? It will for now. Clearly she’s been running the show for sometime. Your rules and boundaries have to be very specific. If she breaks one - the consequences must be fair, firm, swift and consistent even if that means you sit with her in 4 minute time outs for the entire afternoon ignoring her screaming. Swatting her is NOT abusive. It teaches her to avoid the consequences of being disrespectful and disobedient. There ARE consequences for everything in life. You better get on top of this bad behavior and put a complete stop to it. If you don’t, can you imagine how poorly behaved she’ll be at 10-12 yrs old? It will become extremely difficult for her to develop & sustain long term social relationships - at any age.
You need to change YOUR behavior and get some help with your agression and how you solve things
None of this “I was hit and I’m fine” lieing cuz if you were fine you wouldnt “whoop” a defenseless child cuz they arent doing “what you want”
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Ypu don’t whoop at 4 year old for a start, also take her to a gp and get a referral to be seen for maybe adhd etc
Correct her by taking away things she likes, not by spankings.
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She’s never been exposed to hitting or violence, so then what do you consider a whooping dumbass!
Many of you have never been spanked and it shows…
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Well. Lolol when you hit kids you’re teaching them to hit.
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She is looking for attention, punishment must be the only attention she can get.
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Get her checked for autism. If she is, there are a lot of resources out there for you. Good luck
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This might seem like a bad idea, but get some time for yourself. Have her stay with someone else for a week or so to clear the air!! My daughter misses home after about a week and comes back acting mostly decent. We still have our moments but they are far and few between.
How do you “whoop” a child without hitting them? Is it only considered “hitting” if the recipient is an adult? Or would it be considered “whooping” if she chose to only hit adults on the bottom?
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She needs to be seen by a behavior psychologist. She may be autistic. My son did the same
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She’s autistic more than likely. get her evaluated
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Get a counselor and tests
There are several things going on here by the sounds of it …
First of all you need to stop ‘whooping’ her … it does nothing but teach her to do and defiant behaviour … instead of doing this you need to tell her it’s wrong and why it’s wrong ask her to apologise to the guest then redirect her, has she been set up with toys or colouring books or anything to keep her occupied whilst your attention is with the guest
Secondly I would def go and see if she may have signs of autism or being on the spectrum, maybe google some signs that she does continuously so you will be able to see why not only myself but others are saying to do this
Do you pay her attention as in really sit with her and do things she likes to do, life can get in the way for all of us but some of this looks like she is seeking attention from you and when she doesn’t get it she is acting out
Make time for her, make time for play and fun or outings to the park, if she does something naughty redirect but always explain that it’s not ok and the reason why before redirecting
Just my thoughts
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Is she getting enough social interaction & stimulation? How does she act with other children her age?
Wow… don’t let people tell you a spanking isn’t warranted as a last resort punishment! So dumb! That’s why so many kids are out of control these days 
There’s a difference between a beating and a last resort master reset spanking when nothing else phases them! My kids are not physical at all and we have used spankings, though seldomly. As far as the issues, maybe it’s ADHD. You will have to suggest it to your doctor as they won’t bring it up to you (I don’t know why, fear of insulting the parent or something 
) but I would totally do it just so I know for my own peace of mind that my child can’t help his behavior.
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You need to get testing for the Austism scale. My friends going through this pda autism was her diagnosis I believe, hers started super young also.
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Sounds an awful lot like oppositional defiance disorder. I’d take her to see a child psychologist. See what they have to say.
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She’s 4 sounds like to me she’s just wanting the attention. I would put her in her room with nothing and make her sit in time out she’s old enough to understand that is not okay and that she isn’t gonna get attention from hurting herself or someone else. Also corner time, time out chair , taking toys & other things & get butt
Whoopin she do the trick. My opinion she’s way to young to go see a therapist or be out on any meds. Parents now days just don’t wanna deal with there own kids and would rather just have them medicated. Want till there 16 then have them tested! My ex was tested finally at 17 and he is bi polar 1 &2 & schizophrenic and a few other things. Now he should’ve been put on some kind of medicine but of course his mom wouldn’t do it and he almost killed me in front of my oldest when she was a year and a half old she’s almost 12 now but if it hadn’t been for my friend barging in the door I would be dead and I wouldn’t have two other kids or my husband of 10 years Thank God I left my ex almost 10 years ago! But just ignore her when she does that I guarantee when she notices you’re not paying attention she’ll quit. My oldest used to act out like that when she was three once we quit paying attention she stopped. But for her it was because she saw her real dad almost kill me when she was a year and a half and she has night terrors and yells for me till this day. A child that young shouldn’t remember something like that but she did. 
Those who are saying her whooping the child is the problem…have any of yall maybe thought thst mom didn’t start doing that until after the kid started hitting and all? Same concept of biting a child who bites others to show them how it feels…in most cases once they see how much it hurts they stop.
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You don’t correct a behavior with the same behavior. I have spanked my child but never for hitting me. That sends mixed messages. They can’t hear you when they are in that mode. You need to remove from the area and let them have their fit. When calm you talk about it. Let them know the consequences. 4 years old is tough
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The whole ‘wooping’ comment section on this post does not make sense … Everyone saying that she must not give her child a wooping??? Giving a child a wooping has never killed them!!! I’m all healthy and living at 25 and my gran use to whoop my ass!!! And I’m thankful for it because I have manners!!!
U need a referral to a paediatrician
Stop spanking her. How can you tell her not to hit if you’re going to do it?
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Get her into therapy
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Also, if you’re going to have guests over, then why don’t you warn them how your daughter acts?! You already know her behavior so quit acting like it’s anything NEW!
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Brandie Mack came here to say the same thing…
" I took her out of the room and whooped her… She has never been exposed to hitting or violence so I’m not sure why the hitting is a issue."
…? Ummm you exposed her 
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Being violent with her and hitt8ngnher isn’t going to solve anything
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She sounds like she falls in the autistic spectrum. Nothing you do will help. Please take her to a child psychologists/psychiatrist.
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My old counselor used to say “make the punishment fit the crime.” I’m not judging for spanking at all but I wonder if that could be contributing to it? She gets hit so she hits in return? I know used to, if I’d fail history for example, my counselors advice for punishment to fit the crime was to write a four page report over a National Geographic article. I did not fail history after that boringness. Maybe she needs counseling.
I have 2 X autistic children, this is my son all over!
Please get your daughter evaluated
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Take her to the pediatrician and request to have her evaluated further. Don’t let them put you off or downplay your concerns. You MUST advocate for your child and be her voice. You know her better than anyone. If that pediatrician refuses to listen find another. I was a pediatric RN and saw many behavioral problems. Your daughter needs to be seen by professionals. It’s irresponsible to toss around diagnoses on FB and can scare parents. I’m not going to do that. Make up your mind to get professional help and call Monday to make that appt. Take it one day at a time. This is HARD but be as calm as possible with her. Don’t raise your voice. Set boundaries and enforce them. Even if she refuses to mind keep enforcing rules appropriate for a 4 yo. Don’t react without thinking. Don’t blow up. Don’t spank her because she’s more than likely stimulated by a frustrated or angry reaction and enjoys the attention it brings. Speak in even firm tones and don’t give in to her even when you’re tired and completely frustrated. This is a tremendously stressful draining situation for parents but you have to hang in there. You are stronger than you know!!! You obviously love your daughter because you’re reaching out for help. You took the first step! Call Monday and make that appt! Continue the calm firm approach and once you get professional help follow their suggestions. If you need to leave the room when dealing with her to take a deep breath and calm down do it. Keep fighting to get your daughter the help she needs. You CAN do this! 
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BORED CHILDREN ARE NAUGHTY CHILDREN.
NEGLECTED CHILDREN ARE NAUGHTY CHILDREN.
STOP HITTING THAT LITTLE GIRL!!!
HOQ DARE YOU!
Do you have any idea how hurtful, traumatic and confusing smacks are for our little children? Clearly not… I think parents smack out of frustration and just not knowing any better but please hear me and everyone else…it does NOT work! SMACKING IS LAZY PARENTING! if assaulting your daughter was going to work it would’ve done so by now…STOP IT!
YOUR HER MUM, HER SAVIOUR IN THIS WORLD. KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF HER UNLESS HUGGING HER
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If you can CLEARLY see that whoopings & taking shit away DOESNT help, then stop! You are literally the reason why it’s not getting any better. Get her HELP! Instead of whooping her, ABUSER!
No exposure hitting or violence, not sure if that excludes the physical discipline? Because that is exactly physical violence.
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She HAS been exposed to hitting and violence and your the one who exposed her to it
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My 4 yr old was and still tries to run the how at times… it’s what they do at this age. It is frustrating, it is hard to keep a cool head, but I have some different methods. I have gotten her books we read about her big emotions and how and why they happen. I give her times when what she says goes, like a “Yes Day” idea. We also spent ALOT of time outside playing in the dirt. No child is the same or will respond the same… maybe step back, cool down, and think “If I was 4 how would I be acting when…” Sometimes that helps, reflection and empathy.
You got this momma. But please remember your little one is just that, little! still learning how to do alot of things… show compassion and love
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This sounds like there may be more of an issue that would require a medical or mental health professional’s opinion. If she’s that frustrated and/or angry at 4, without anything else going on, I would seek a therapist for her first then go from there. 4 year old don’t typically have so much frustration & anger that they have trouble expressing it & working through it. She may just need a little extra help as plenty of people do. Good on you for not giving up on her.
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Sadly this seems to be an epidemic in young children today…they all seem to have the same issues. If she has ever had a head injury, that can create these problems. It could also be that she has a form of autism or aspbergers. Now that they have realized that is also a form of autism. She could be ADD or ADHD. There is a pretty good list of what is bad for them to eat…most food dyes, especially red, is a trigger. Chocolate powders, cocoa products, candy. Caffeine products. Gluten allergies. You need to get her evaluated. Does she go to daycare? Headstart? Pre K? Being bored…really bad on ADD kids. Most of the kids have above average IQs. They learn fast. Repetition makes them anxious and figity. They need change during the day. Autistic range needs more of a steady routine without alot of changes. If you are busy all the time and don’t have time for her other than when she’s being bad…they learn to function using negative behavior…never mind spanking…does no good. Make her go to her room, hand her a book to look at and shut the door. Tell her she can’t come out unless she behaves…but YOU have to enforce it and stick to your guns…she may trash the room in a tantrum…then she looses her stuff. Leave the mess and tell her now she’s gotta pick up her room before she can come out…sounds like it’s gonna be a battle of wills but you can’t give in. See if any of this helps…if not she needs dr., medicine, and behavior therapy. She can’t be like that in school.
Of course she hits she learned if from you first off stop hitting her and try to talk to her on her level and get her therapy
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Definitely sounds like oppositional defiant disorder and possibly ADHD with comorbitities. Probably a good idea to talk with her pediatrician and get a psych referral.
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Everything you are doing is creating and exacerbating the problem. Read about peaceful parenting asap and start implementing the techniques.
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you don’t argue with a child, you tell them what they will be doing, be calm, fair, don’t listen to the outlandish things she says…give her a chore to do if she misbehaves…if she doesn’t do it right have her do it again until she does it right…remember you are the alpha and she is not…it will take some time but will sink in…
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“We whooped her, but she has never been exposed to hitting or violence, I have no idea where this is coming from…” Sounds like you have no idea what you’re doing, or what you’re talking about.
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Let me get this straight, you say she “has never been exposed to hitting or violence” as you use hitting as a form of discipline. Children mimicking what they see.
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Sounds like she is on the Autism spectrum, please take her to your Dr & get a referral to a specialist. Some children on the spectrum need meds others dont
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How can you say she’s never been exposed to hitting or violence when that’s in fact what you’re doing to “discipline” her.
You need to figure out her triggers and remove her from them when she’s behaving in that manner. Positive interactions are needed. It sounds as if she’s doing everything she can for attention.
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She might be autistic
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You’ve whooped her? But she’s never been exposed to hitting
Yep that’s enough internet for today.
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I have a child in my life that was like this when he was younger. His parents were terrified as to what he would be like with a newborn, they were pregnant. Turns out, he was severely neurologically imbalanced. They took care of it and he’s not taking anything anymore, he’s evened out aside from the normal teenager hormones.
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Well first a d foremost hitting her as a form of discipline for hitting someone else is hypocritical you’re punishing her for doing the same thing you’re doing how will she learn? I am not sure how much screen time she gets but I noticed when my daughter got more screen time then it was taken was when she behaved poorly so I stopped letting her watch the iPad all together and now use it as a form of a reward and only in 30 minute increments at a time. She may be searching for you attention and that’s how she’s doing it, I would also have her evaluated by her pediatrician just to make sure there isn’t any underlying issues. Hang in there mama and remember hitting or spanking isn’t parenting it’s losing control!
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She needs an evaluation. Her doctor will refer you to somewhere to get one. Ask and do not take no for an answer.
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“she has never been exposed to hitting” and “I whooped her.” 
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You just said shes never been hit but your whooping her? That is one and the same.
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Maybe you shouldn’t whoop your 4 year old daughter but who knows
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Get her checked at the doctors she may have adhd
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I would have her evaluated for Autism or ADD, ODD, stop spanking her it’s not doing good for her, she’s being triggered by something and she’s acting out, out fear or being uncomfortable sounds like to me , my nephew is 6 and has fits of rage and he will throw stuff, yell, not listening, hurt the dog, and he’s been diagnosed with autism, ADD, ADHD, ODD, my sister has him on meds that don’t help all she does is yell and spank him. That is not how you handle kids that have these things at all. Please, seek help from your doctor, imagine being this child for an hr in their world. 
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4 year olds have a hard time understand big emotions. You should take time to talk her through her emotions and let her know that’s not how we handle them. Children do what they are taught. If you whoop her when she’s upsetting you and not listening then naturally she’s going to “whoop” people who are bothering her as well.
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This is a joke right? You have taught her that when communication is no longer working we whoop…when we become frustrated we whoop…when we don’t like what someone else is doing we whoop 
…your daughter CANNOT regulate emotions and YOU have to teach her that…I’d imagine by leading by example 
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