How can I help my 3-year-old with his anger issues?

Do not bash is coming to y’all too see if y’all have better ideas/ways to go about the situation on what I’m about to ask… soooo, my three-year-old son has a VEERRRRYYYY very bad temper. His ability to get mad takes off in like 2 secs AFTER you’ve told him NO. I’m very close to my kids and can usually talk them down bt my 3yo just doesn’t have it. He’ll start hitting himself, throwing himself on the floor, kicking n screaming . & more or less … I try to stick to the consequences on when he acts that way; he gets NOTHING. For being 3, I feel he gets mad way to fast and way too bad! He literally is a walking time bomb … it doesn’t happen a lot THANK GOD but when it does. It’s hard to keep my patience sometimes. He’s very smart and gentle and kind when he’s not acting this way… but I noticed he acts this way when he gets a NO thrown at him, or he doesn’t get what he wants…, so basically my question is: how do I go about this when it happens? What are some things you did that helped? Is it just cause his age, or should I talk to his doctor? I mean IDK if I’m even explaining this right for y’all to understand how he gets … cause when he gets in these moods, he gets BAAAADDD


Ignore him. Put him in a safe place and walk away.


I’m also interested in the solutions others have used- my son also does this :disappointed:


So my three-year-old daughter have really really bad anger issues as well and I happen to run into an article about removing red dye 40 from their diet and I have to tell you it has made a huge difference in my daughter’s Behavior give it a try


I’m with ya momma, I’m facing the same thing with my 4yo. Started when he was about 3. It’s gotten better and worse throughout the year or so, we can go days or weeks without any angry out bursts, but then it’ll strike I a wave of a week. Once I think I have it figured out I’m proven wrong. :blue_heart:


I’d speak to his pediatrician. It’s likely just a phase, but couldn’t hurt to bring it up. I would also explain why you’re saying no. I teach preK, and a little explaining goes a long way with littles. Do your best to stay calm when it happens, and once he’s calm, offer him hugs, and explain why his behavior is not ok. Good luck Mama!

It could be a phase. But I would talk to his pediatrician about it for sure. I’m a huge advocate for therapy. Behavioral therapy can work wonders. But also, maybe try to have him evaluated for a sensory processing disorder? My youngest would have meltdowns from hell. Biting himself, banging his head, he put his foot through a door when he was 2, He would pull over bookshelves, the whole nine. It was terrifying. We found out he was hypersensitive and OT has worked wonders for him. He’s like a brand new kid.

Sounds just like my son before he was diagnosed with ODD. He’s medicated now at 11 but his temper is still triggered by the word no or not right now. Talk to his doctor it is NOT normal behavior.

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I have worked in special education and ive had kids who are considered special ed because there anger issues. Sometimes they do not understand through punishment. There different and some times do not know how to control there anger. My advice. Talk to his Dr

My son who is now 9 had huge anger issues. We talked to peds till we were blue in the face. At 3 he took a hammer to our friends son! It was bad. Thank goodness he wasn’t strong enough to do real damage. Start therapy asap. He was tested and found he had a speech development problem and does not retain short term memory. His anger stemmed from everyone not understanding what his needs/wants were. There are resources or there, good luck momma.

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It honestly sounds like he has autism

I used to throw myself on the floor as a child my mom told the doc the doc said walk away even in the store it worked

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When mine went through this, I tried everything (I thought) I ended up having to walk away and leave the room in the middle of her fit. She was doing it for attention, and giving her any attention (even negative, ie punishment) got her what she wanted, so by depriving that the fits stopped. Try just walking out of the room, dont react at all, just turn around and leave him with his fit.

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Talk to the doctor. I would say he must be doing this because it has worked for him even just once. Youd be surprised how smart a 3 year old really is and from his perspective he can either accept your no or throw a fit for a chance to get his way. From his perspective its actually a smart idea because he at least has the chance to get his own way. Consistency is your only friend here. And get on it asap before he is bigger and harder to manage. A parenting expert told me that you have to do something dramatic so they understand that the new rules are no means no. He suggested I tell my son who was 6 at the time that we are going to McDonald’s to eat and play but that the first time he doesn’t listen we are leaving. He told me to order him a meal and myself just a coffee since my hidden plan was to wait for him to act out and throw his food in the garbage and leave. He said my son would throw a massive fit but leave anyways and that to a child that would mark the day that mama stop taking his crap and actually meant what she said. I never actually did it but always remembered it

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Ignore and try to find other words to use besides “No” such as I understand your upset , or i understand your feeling this way - validating feelings at that age goes along way. I went through this with my son when he was 2, 3 and 4 . I brought ABA coaching into my home that gave me the tools to modify his agressive behaviors and violent outbursts. Who is also diag with ODD, PTSD , Adjustment disorder and possible ADHD

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…I threw a temper tantrum in a store one day ( on the floor and everything)… My kids never did that again … They said it was I was funny doing it.


I’m not judging you so please don’t get offended. But at 3 years old, he didn’t just pluck that behaviour out of the air. He’s obvs been getting away with acting out for quite awhile. It’s really hard to reign kids in who have been allowed to go off the rails. So you’re gonna have to fully commit to helping him change these learned behaviours. Every single time. And go thru with the consequences, every single time. If you can’t then don’t start. Wait for a time when u can commit or you’ll just do more damage.

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Cut sugars, red dyes… if he is safe in a fit walk away and ignore it. Have you tried any holistic approaches to calm him?

Can you not say no, just go into the explanation as to why not.

I have a daughter who is now 5, but I could have written the same post that you did when she was 3. Here are a few things that worked for us:

  1. We would get at her eye level and talk to her really calm. I will warn you, this is soooo damn hard to do when emotions are charged!!!

  2. We didn’t just say no, we would explain why we were saying no. “I’m sorry, but you can’t have that piece of candy before dinner because it’s really important for you to have healthy food in your belly first. You can have it after you eat some good food.”

  3. I would tell her very clearly, “I’m sorry that you’re upset, but it’s more more important to me that you’re safe (insert the appropriate statement here) than for you to jump off of the couch (insert appropriate statement here).
    After a while of this, we noticed a significant change in her response to hearing no!

  4. We would explain that we have rules to keep her safe, and because we love her. It took a little not for this to sink in, but after hearing it enough she would just accept the response that we gave to her requests.

Lastly, I bought the book 1-2-3 Magic, and it literally changed our lives with her! It’s fairly cheap on Amazon, and it is well worth it!

I hope that some of this advice helps. I know exactly how you feel, and I’ll be thinking of you! Hang in there, it does get easier!

My son was the same way. He was dx depressive disorder at 5 but now at 13 is bipolar. I knew it was a mood disorder from 2-3yrs old.

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Have him tested and see if it might be a mental disability causing him to throw these fits cuz sometimes people could be Autistic or have some sort of disability that causes that. I’m not trying to be funny or anything I just I know from my own experience that that could happen. Also if the fits are too bad think about taking him to anger management if they are just normal childhood Tantrums then just like the other lady said ignore him he’ll get over it and more than likely grow out of it .

My two year old is the same way. We decided to take her to go see someone. Turns out she’s getting tested for autism/ODD, and underlying anxiety issues. There could be an underlying issue that you don’t know about. Sometimes us moms need an extra little help, my advice is to take him to go see someone. Best of luck to you momma.

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When my daughter was 3 maybe 4 she would throw herself on the foor kick her feet hold her breath. So one time i picked her up took her to her room and told her when she was done with the tantrum she could come out. Bout hslf an hour lster she called me from her room telling me she was done and was given permission to come out. I should mention her toud were not in her room. Never had a problem after that not sure that this will work for anyone else just putting it out there

Try giving him a different option instead of no.
My son at 7 still has out bursts, we tried everything…the changing diet (didn’t work because he didnt eat much to begin with).
Also does he sleep and/or breathe daily though his mouth?! If he does, seek an ENT (ear nose and throat) we are currently in the process of seeing one and I’ve heard amazing behavioral changes in children that do this and have tonsils and adenoids removed.

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He’s a three year old. Let it run it’s course.

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Walk away, leave the room


This is the age where they start to want more control and independence. Offer more choices in general but also in times when you have to say “no”… example of this, where he doesn’t want to leave the house. “We need to put our shoes on, do you want to wear the red ones or the blue ones?.. do you want to hop like a bunny over here or stomp like a dinosaur?”
Being very emotional and going 0-10 is fairly normal due to their undeveloped amygdala and he’s way too young for a diagnosis but it doesn’t hurt for his doctor to monitor the behaviour as he ages. You can’t reason with him when he’s in that state though so just sit near him, remain calm, acknowledge the emotion. Be the rational thought process that he needs to work through it… “I can see you’re frustrated. You want that toy but I can’t buy it for you now.” And when he’s more calm, offer a solutions like… “how about we take a photo of the toy and put it on our wish list for now”.

Try not to use physical punishment or isolation like time outs (Look up time-in techniques instead). That can make the aggression worse in the long run, since he’s not learning coping mechanisms during those stressful moments he’s experiencing.


Big glass of ice wather do it all time!


I would def talk to doctor and take him off sugar and gluten. You’d be surprised how much diet can change attitudes.

My 3 year old is the same way but also tries to hurt others as well. He has behavioral issues that has gotten to the point where we have an appointment set up with a behavioral therapist to see if there is an underlying condition/issue. I’ve gotten to the point where I feel defeated at the end of the day and as his mom I will do whatever it takes to help him and myself. My advice is to talk to his doctor about it and see what they recommend. Best of luck!

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My first question would be is he verbal - can he tell you what is wrong and why he is mad - if not that could be the issue there - he can’t tell you what it is that is bothering him so he goes into a mad tyrant act - speak with his ped and explain his actions another person posted very well on the issue. Good luck sweetie.

My daughter used to have bad temper tantrums when she was 2 and 3. My MIL suggested magnesium. I still give her 1 before bed. You can get it at pretty much any drug store

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If it’s only been since hes turned 3 then it could be a phase but if hes always been like this then might be something more.

Just being a 3 yr old. Spank his but and get his attention. It will catch him off guard and he will stop it. Make him be in time out for a couple of minutes. He will learn

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I do the choice. For example… you can’t have candy but you can have an Apple or banana. If it’s hitting it’s no. If the fit starts he can either finish it in his room or the corner. But I leave the area he is in. If it’s in the store I take them out to the car. They get put in and I am outside with the keys standing right next to the door. No reaction from me normally got it to stop. But it is his age. He is trying to have control of something. I let them pick out clothes at this age and what snack.


Im sorry but if you feel like this in ur gut its not right…you need to get him tested for autism. Getting you and him help also through ecap can help too


My nephew is the same way. He was a headbanger when he was younger. He still catches an attitude when he gets told no. And when he gets tired he cries when he doesn’t get his way. He is now 7.
The reason for my nephews outburts was, honestly. Because he spent so much time around his father (I am NOT saying that is the case with your LO)
Try curbing it. No more punishing. Instead turn it around. Instead of no say instead of. Or, let’s try this.

There is a reason as to why your LO is doing this. Talk to your dr about possible mental issues (autism, aspergers, anxiety) my nephew has anxiety and it is a reason why he has acted out so much in the past.
Eventually, it’ll get better, and a little easier and hopefully farther in between, and if not then sitting down and conversing is always good when a child gets older.

My son is like that. It started when he was like 2 and he would have anger outbursts where he would hit people and throw things. And scream really loud. He got kicked out of a couple of daycares for it. It was so embarrassing. We finally got him into therapy and I think it has helped some.

Consult his Doctor. this is not normal.

Say no and walk away.

I have 5 almost 6 girls and never seen a tantrum like this, however I know they say boys are different from girls, but at 3 tantrums shouldn’t be happening. I’d definitely talk to his pediatrician, sounds like he may have something else going on. Gl mama!

My 3 year old son is the same way. He can be the sweetest little boy ever, but as soon as someone does something to upset him, he’s like a bat out of hell. Usually his targets are his younger sisters :pensive: We’ve tried every method of discipline out there, including just ignoring him when he gets into these “fits”. Most of the methods just intensify his anger and make him worse, which isn’t good for anybody. It has got slightly better since he’s got older, but for the most part, he still has a very violent temper. I plan on getting him tested for ADHD (I had adhd as a kid) and other things as soon as those options become available. So far, nothing has worked for us. :confused:

How often does he have a meltdown.
Is it only when he don’t get his way

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Give him a strait jacket…and see what he does

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I don’t know if this has been mentioned but does he have a speech delay? My 2 year old does and I’m just getting him into speech therapy and they told me this helps so much with tantrums and such because he has no other way to express himself with words but crying and screaming.

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My niece is this way. She has been diagnosed with autism couple with ODD

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Of course check him with a doctor to make sure he doesn’t have a mood disorder.

But also, do any of his male role models get mad in front of him? My little brother saw my dad get angry and started copying him, because that was what a “man” was to him.

If not any of that, maybe he is just frustrated at a lack of control in his life. Kids that age are learning that they cannot have everything they want and that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and that is very frustrating to someone who previously thought otherwise. Maybe give him multiple options and let him choose more often. That will make him feel like he has choices and a certain level of independence, which might buffer his temper at times when you do have to say no.

When you do say no, explain why. Even if that doesn’t seem to help, over time it will help him to rationalize why things have to be the way they are. Also try to help him work through his anger. Don’t get upset along with him, if you need to then walk away and come back. But let him know that his anger is valid. Even adults get frustrated when we can’t get what we want. It’s okay to be upset and to let yourself feel. But let him know that lashing out how he does will only hurt himself and others, and work with him to find another outlet for when he is angry.

When he doesn’t get what he wants & has a fit, o would just walk away, go to another room, & keep on doing this. I bet he will stop. Just walk away

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Self harm is not ok. I used to work at a children’s shelter (new name for orphanage). We were taught to restrain the children if they were causing harm to themselves or other. Sit indian style on the floor with his back to your stomach. Him in your lap and wrap your arms around him in a hug preventing him from hitting himself. Once he’s calm, explain to him that it’s ok to be angry/ mad, but it’s not ok to hurt himself or others. And give him a throw pillow or stuffed animal and tell him if he’s feeling like he needs to hit something hit the pillow or stuffed animal. You can also teach him he can scream into the pillow if that’s an issue. Lots of love, positive reinforcement and safe ways to deal with his anger. Also, I do agree he may have some other issues going on. Would def talk to his doctor. Good luck mama. Praying for yall

  1. Dont punish
  2. Get intune with your child. Learn what triggers tantrums to prevent them. Tired? Hungry? Stress? Frustration?
  3. Acknowledge feelings
  4. Give permission to deal with feelings
  5. Teach coping mechanisms… how to cope with anger… deep breaths… squeezing a pillow… etc… give him some safe ways to cope with emotions.

Emotional intelligence is so vital. We need to start teaching children about emotions and how to cope strategies when they are babies.


I would definitely have him see a child psychologist and have him assessed in play therapy. I would look into Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODD.

My husband was apparently like this as a kid up until high school. He has bipolar and ADHD (diagnosed as a child) and they tried so many meds on him. Finally he decided to try and power through and train himself not to be so angry. He’s wonderful now. He still gets angry out of nowhere but he checks himself. Maybe try and get your little one tested, and see if docs can help. Best of luck!

Try putting him in his room. Just straight out pick him up and put him in his room, explain he needs to stop and he won’t come out until he does. Check in every few minutes, ask if he’s finished, if he’s not go away and leave him in there, if he is, allow him to come out. Very simple. The not so simple part is STAY CALM!! do NOT get worked up. Had to do this with one child, and at the start she would sometimes take more than an hour, in the end she would take about 15 minutes. She’s now learned to deal with anger and frustration by taking a break in her room, gather herself and then come out all on her own. Also for more tips make sure there’s nothing in the room that they can hurt themselves on and that they have access to toys and books to help soothe themselves. Don’t treat it like a punishment as such but as a way to teach themselves better ways of dealing with their feelings and once they’ve calmed down and come out you can talk to them about healthy ways to handle anger.


It sounds like just a temper tantrum… but if he starts to become violent toward others and it becomes more frequent then I would being it up to a doctor. It could be normal, could be ODD, could be many things. The beat thing to do for now is be consistent.

You answered your own question. You said he gets this way, when you tell him no.

You can look up Jo Frost on YouTube. She also has books. She has great techniques for conquering this type of behavior.

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Neighbor’s 3 year old was exactly like ghat, and Mom tried everything. Time out was a joke, he bit a teenage cousin and took a chunk out of her wrist, rolled twin toddler sisters like bowling balls, with injuries. He kicked his grandmother and injured her leg. Grandpa came to drive her home, kiddo attacked him. Grandpa picked him up and said, “What are you doing?” Kid told him, “I’m having a tantrum!” Grandpa said, “That’s your tantrum? Well, here’s mine!” And gave him a spanking to remember. From then on he remained in perfect control. All mom had to do was offer to call grandpa.

I would recommend an evaluation before anything else. A therapist can work with you and your child to help you find ways to cope with his anger. Also knowing the words that trigger his actions helps so you can avoid saying them, instead of saying ‘no’ you can say things like “we can try this later” “first we do this then you can have that” … something along those lines. This is my advice because I dealt with this with my son since he was 1yo it was not normal 1yo tantrums that he was throwing, everyday is still a struggle but he’s much better than before. The sooner you seek help the sooner you can improve your relationship with your child and help him with managing his emotional reactions.

In my years of experience…the temper tantrums are to get your attention. Let him throw his tantrum. But you don’t have to be in the same room to watch them. Once he realizes they aren’t working. The tantrums should stop. Negative attention should not be awarded with your presence. Praise positive attention. When he does good things. Let him know about it. Don’t award negative attention.

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If you think these kids are bad now just wait till they get to 13 or older and they no your afraid of them better to find a way to handle it now I raised 7 children just had one wild child but he loves and respects me I had to be a little harder on him but I did it when he was younger i had to be or i dont no what would have happened to him

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He need a child psych quickly!

I guess I’m a horrible mother causee…
When my son did this mess at around 4 , I removed everything from his room except his bare bed.
Shut the door and let him throw his little tantrums because he wasn’t getting his way. Now me personally… I spank. No, it’s not too young but too each his own. He learned FAST that showing his ass because he was not about to just get his way was NOT about to cut it.
After 2 weeks of no toys, no TV - no NOTHING, and spanked for acting like a hellion when I said no, you’re not getting this toy / candy whatever from wherever because you do not deserve it ( that was what " Triggered it ") He cut it out entirely. That was my situation… Yours… I do agree, possibly get him tested. But, I also have to ask if he’s doing this ONLY when told he’s not about to have his way. Nip that in the bud your own way;; my half brother was babied forever, and is now 22. If he is told no about something ( a grown man, in his own apartment) he will not only trash his own apartment, he trashes my grandmothers, goes on these rages, down to having the police involved because he’s out in public threatening to kill himself and everyone within arms reach. He’s a medicated aspergers/ autism guy.

There’s no excuse , however, to let him think at all that these tantrums will get him his way . From what I can gather he’s doing this because you’re not paving the road gold for him. Part of me says, it’s a phase, be strong mom. Other side - doesn’t hurt to be tested. I had my son tested myself- kid can just be an asshole. (( listen momma, parent to parent… We all know kids can be assholes. It’s okay. :purple_heart:))

All the advice I can offer is just to keep reinforcing that you are the parent, he is the child. Do not give in when these tantrums flare. If it comes to it, do what I did with the room? Take out something when he does this. He gets it back when he acts right and loses it when he acts up.?
Other than that,… sending coffee, wine, and a whole lot of hugs to you.

There is alot of missing information. Does he go to daycare, does he play outside to work off excess energy, are there other children and last but not least are there rules and do you follow thru. I E: in the morning no activities until after the bed is tidied up, dressed , breakfast eaten and teeth brushed.

I would have him checked by a doctor. It’s so hard to tell at that age because they cantexpress their emotions. My son has horrible meltdowns and other things that are normal and he was diagnosed with SPD. Good luck momma

Sounds like a 3 year old

Instead of saying “no” try to give another option (that would better suit you) of what he wants.

He needs to learn he cant act like that… Stick him in the corner facing the wall. After he knows thats what will take place he will knock it off

The Psychiatrist that diagnosed my son with ADHD recommended not using the word “no” but rather giving him choices(both of which you’d be ok with him picking) and then letting him choose. This way he feels “in control” of the situation. Also use a timer for everything(playtime, before bedtime, etc) so that he knows when time is getting close to being up…like tell him "see this timer- you have 15, 10, 5 more minutes to play(or until bedtime, or until we clean up toys) and then once the timer goes off nicely remind him. I have to say this made a HUGE difference in our household almost immediately. The Psychiatrist even did it in his office(my son was playing with blocks while we talked and he set a timer for how much longer he had time to play before clean up) and it worked like a charm. We couldn’t believe it. Hope this helps.


Jamie Jones , for a lot of children, medication may be the only thing that works. By the way she explained her son’s outbursts, it may quite possibly be oppositional defiance disorder. This is vastly different from ADD, ADHD, or “throwing a tantrum”. Consulting your child’s primary care doctor and/or counselor is the first step.


I would get him into counseling first and test for adhd and odd. My son has adhd and his medicine helps tremendously. Don’t start off with meds though. Try counseling first. That may help. I would get this figured out before he starts school.

Totally understand this I am going through the same thing with mine too. If mine throws something he goes immediately to time out. And when he’s settled we talk about it. It’s been the most effective thing for me.


Maybe start with the diet. All the dyes in foods are not good for them. Espically red and blue. The sugar in them is way too much for such little bodies.


Some Dr.s say it’s oppositional defiant disorder. My grandson did that. They gave him a med at 4. He’s 13 now. Did wonders for him. That and counseling

Whatever u do dont put electronics in his hand no cell no tablet of computer. My step sons has anger issues serious ones hes no taking meds for 13 years old. Prayer works but I firmly believe the content aggravates it
It also forms dangerous addictive patterns. Diet and regular sleep help big time so does reduced sugar. The more junk he eats the easier he flies off the handle. Structure is a huge friend to you and so is consistancy

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Don’t give in. Don’t do the “Choices”’thing. He’s 3. He has to learn NO. The world isn’t going to give him choices or count down how long he has before he’s no longer in trouble. If he doesn’t learn these things now you’ll pay for it later


Try a different approach instead of No if that is what sets him off. Try suggesting what he can do instead. Or reverting his attention to what you want him to do instead of using the word no.

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Dont give the tantrums attention. Hopefully once he sees he isn’t getting a reaction out of you it will stop.


I agree with Danielle M Engster – time out does help - i have taken psychology classes & learning class to help people - also just love them and be patient with them it help a lot as well

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My grandson would get real upset and we would sit in a carpeted area with him close to a corner and let him get through it until he was calm.

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Try sitting him on a hard chair in the middle of the room and he strays there until he quits acting up, no matter how long it takes. The first couple of times will be long. Until he is quiet.

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Don’t give in. That’s my advice.

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I completely understand what your going thru… Went thru it with my daughter…
Doctor told me to do this… May ask your doctor before if you want …

I put her old high chair in a bedroom on the lowest position facing the door… When she would start the self harming tantrums (kicking, banging her head off the floor etc) I would take her to the high chair, strap her in, leave the room and shut the door behind me… I would not talk to her or open the door until she stopped screaming and calmed down…
When I went it, I asked her, are you done … she would respond… Then I would explain to her why she was out in time out and she had to apologise before I let her out…

This helped tremendously…
She stopped doing things that would hurt her… And she calmed down very very much!!!

This option is a personal choice and I do recommend checking with your pediatrician first… But definitely worked for my lil girl


He could have ODD, remember one day your 3 year old could be your 6 foot 3 teenager. Get him with a dr. now.

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For all that thinks meds is the key to everything get for real let have his little melt down


123 Magic by Tom Phelan

well i will tell you my experience with my son and maybe it will help. he is 19 now and much much better than he used to be. however he does have limited patience before he gets angry. and he does go to therapy. but he is a wonderful kid with a kind and loving heart. having said that…when he was a toddler he was hell on wheels!! bad temper. acting out. anger that i just couldnt understand. i talked to his doctor who in turn sent me to numerous different doctors. after a thorough examination by the last doctor i saw who specialized in behavior disorders my son was diagnosed with aspbergers syndrome and adhd. we tried meds for a short time and they did help with his focus and his moods but he experienced some uncomfortable side effects. anxiety. weight loss etc…so i decided to discontinue medication and just do therapy. it helped alot. also i stopped working so i could stay at home with him. i worked alot with him on his anger and empathy. it didnt happen overnight thats for sure. it took time. but in my opinion i think its important to talk to a doctor just to be sure that theres not a reason for it. a condition causing it. conditions like my son has can be very frustrating for them which can cause the anger. good luck! i hope this helps. and believe me it can get better🙂

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Video behavior and show Dr

Ignore him. Once he stops getting a reaction from you, he will stop doing it. And I mean ignore. Turn your back, walk away and do not speak to him, no matter where you are.

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It may just be a temper tantrum. He wants attention, you may be paying more attention during the outbursts. I’m not a professional, I’m not there. Maybe do a counseling thing for you and the child. The professional you choose may be able to assist in parenting skills. Then pursue tesing.

My little one is adhd and odd he takes medication and has counseling both have started to help him so much the tantrums have decreased significantly but we still do have them just they are getting better

It is a daily occurrence in my house! Its a stage and annoying one but it will pass just stick to your word and let him know the consequence for naughty behavior and follow through with it. Keep your head up it does get better. You’re doing a great job!

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My youngest daughter has been diagnosed with anxiety (as well as a few other things). “No” is a trigger because she feels out of control of the situation. Giving options instead of just saying no is helpful. Save your battles for whe a firm no is your only option.

I am not sure how and where any of you were raised but in my neck of the woods life was different. We learned early on that no was no and if we couldn’t respect that we got our asses busted… there was no bull shit put them on meds crap … we were dealt with and we did not turn into serial killers or hardened criminals…it is potentially dangerous for children to not know the word no and yes I am a psychologist I believe in the tried and true.


Definitely talk to his doctor. My son was this way, it started a little before he turned 3, and it got worse as he got older. His dad and I divorced when he was 4, and his dad refused to agree to him seeing a therapist. He was finally diagnosed with adhd at age 7 after the school got involved. By that time he was putting holes in walls, breaking things, causing me physical harm, and constantly in trouble at school. With therapy and lots of hard work he is now a different kid.
Best things that worked for me were giving him choices, getting down to his level, not spanking/yelling/acting angry, and when he would get out of control there were times I had to give him bear hugs with lots of shushing to get him to stop seeing red.

Have you talked with his pediatrician? First stop😊 I can also agree with those saying to ignore his tantrum as long as it’s not a safety hazard to your son…and Also giving choices instead of saying no…you and other caregivers need to formulate a plan together, be consistent and sometimes kids just need hugs🙏

It’s called a tantrum. Move him to a safe space, like a mattress on the floor or carpeted place. If you can bear it, wrap him in a bear hug (might need ear plugs) and hold him through it. That always helped my oldest in his meltdowns and when I can bear it with my extremely loud out of control 2 year old, it helps too. Please don’t go putting your 3 year old on medication over temper tantrums…

I learned to just walk away, let him have his tantrums. Do not acknowledged them. Once he understands his actions get no response. This should stop.

Sounds like adhd to me as well. You need to seek professional help for him, the sooner the better. His future depends on it. Not to be rude but non treatment is how serial killers come about

You can’t just take the word “no” out of the picture. I ain’t going to pretend like I know exactly how to help. But in my opinion if you take the word no out of the situation you give your child no real life teaching for their future. Growing up there will be the word no. At school and in life in general. If you take that away he won’t know what to do or how to act. And could cause future behavior issues.
He just probably will take more time and patience to understand then other children which is perfectly okay! Forcing him to sit in one spot for 5 minutes or a reasonable couple of swats to the butt. (Spanking is not abuse)
Try a different discipline technique.

Get with a Dr to help you go over choices. You aren’t the only mom who has had a child who can’t control his anger. There is hope and help. Good luck.