How can I help my brother move on?

My brother and his wife got divorced and still live together. They have a 4 year old as well but my thing is my brother is still so in love with her that he can't accept the fact that they are broke up and she is talking to other men he doesn't want to move on he's been obsessing over her and going crazy how do I tell him that he can do better and that he needs to just move on I know it's easier said than done but what will it take he's been talking about suicide and I'm worried for him there are so many woman out there that would appreciate him for him
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I help my brother move on?

Do you have the room for him to come to your place to clear his head? Maybe seek for your parents and get help for him before it gets to that point.

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His first step is to move out. As long as he is living with her, it won’t get better. Second step is to start seeing a therapist if he is contemplating suicide.

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He can’t move on if they still live together

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He has to move out. That’s the starting point.

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He has to move out!! Not healthy for him to be there when she’s so ready to move on. Not that she’s wrong or right idk the story. But if she’s talking to other people he HAS to move out! He needs to start hanging with friends and family. Keeping his mind occupied so it’s not always thinking about who or what she’s doing!

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They should. Not. Be liveing with each. Outher

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Honestly first step is to move out. Hang with family and friends, keep his mind busy. Spend time with his child.

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He will never be able to get her out of his head while still LIVING WITH HER! And watching her move on will make it way worse.

If you feel he is serious in saying he wants to take his life you should consider contacting a medical professional!

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He needs his own place, distance would be the best thing

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He needs to move out, he’ll never get over her if they’re still living together

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I would start by offering if you have the space or helping him in the right direction to find space where he can also have his kid. Talk to him about counseling or therapy. Make sure he knows that it’s okay to seek help and if he needs support, be that. Go with him. Most people don’t realize when it’s over they miss the pattern, the security, the predictability of every day not just the person. But he sees this person every day that he very well may still love talking to other people and still living together and likely having some uncomfortable questions from their kid about it all. Be the help you would need if you were in the same boat :heart:

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Why is she there using him. Yes he can absolutely do bettet than a whore.

I’m sorry I would be more worried about the ex wife cause what you’re brother is doing is a control tactic with the suicide thing. She’s probably tried to get him out but he more than likely refuses. He refuses to let go of her because he probably thinks of her as property. You only get told what he wants you to think of the situation and only seeing what he wants you to see. If you know damn well that he’s obsessed with her and is acting crazy and has threatened suicide because he doesn’t want to leave the situation then u need to open your eyes and see the real problem that your brother needs help ASAP and that the ex wife needs to get the hell outta there before he goes crazy enough n hurts her then kills himself. Open your eyes seriously

You cant do shiz for him if they still living together

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When people are in love, there’s no moving on.

Move out for starters . He hasn’t felt the proper wrath of the break up so he will continue to feel his feelings towards her and her talking to other people will be driving him mad .we all know when someone’s finally moving on .it suks it’s hard. But unfortunately its all part of life .he needs the help and support of someone close he can lean on. Break ups are never easy ! Take him with u make sure hes ok n keep n eye on him and talk iver everything with him. Then maybe talk to him about getting therapy or trying ine of those healing walks. He needs time and space away from his routined days and find himself again

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Sometimes it just takes time

He needs to move out and see a counselor ASAP.

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One of them needs to move out. That may help

Let him move in with you.

My ex talked about suicide until he met a new girl. And then when that ended, talked suicide until he found the next one. It’s been his story since he was 16.
Not trying to be be mean when I say, he needs to go to therapy and find some coping mechanisms and whatever other help he may need before looking for another relationship.

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If he’s been talking about suicide, contact a medical professional & maybe he can get help

He will never get over her if he is living with her.Maybe help him get a place of his own? Or let him come stay with you until he can save to get a place of his own

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Why did they divorce? He may have some feelings of regret or guilt if he feels like something he did (or didn’t do) lead to the divorce which could be why he can’t let go

This must be very confusing for the child.

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He needs therapy to help him cope with the divorce and they need to not be living together that doesn’t make it easier

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Get him to go to therapy and definitely move out

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They need to separate homes to help him heal. Either she needs to leave or he does. He may want to seek support professionally to process what he is feeling. Living together after a divorce is enough to make anyone feel horrible. I hope he finds himself soon

Start by moving out. Ain’t moving on if the feeling are right there in your face 24/7

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Moving out would be a good start.

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Someone needs to move out

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Therapy and an apartment.

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I agree with everyone saying he needs to move out ,but if he’s obsessed with her, it’s highly unlikely he will move out, unless his ex tells him to move out & then he probably will be reluctant or still won’t, until unfortunately it gets nasty … all you can do is be there for him, when eventually his ex will kick him out, as I doubt he will listen to anyone until this time.

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As his sister so invested. Why not talk to your brother to be better for his wife? Sisters like you Def think their brother deserve better while he is probably doing the bare minimum. How about you talk to your sister in law and ask her what happened and what can you advise your brother about to be better. These men get so emotionally when they lose their wife and get their whole family to feel bad but magically they ignore years of emotional and mental anguish. Help him be better for the next. Let him also move in with you.

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He’s has to heal on his own. You can’t do anything.

That is something he has to do on his own. Moving out would be the best step for him to take to move on

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Unfortunately you can’t change the way someone feels about the person they love. He definitely needs to see a therapist to work out his feelings because saying your Suicidal is serious.

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He needs to be separated from her and then get counciling

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They need to stop living together. He needs closure and he’s not getting it living with her. He can’t move on because he’s around her all the time. The best thing he could do is get his own place. And take the time to cry, and grieve the relationship.

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He definitely needs to move out. Or she needs to sit down with him and them both have an open conversation about their feelings and where their at. Remind your brother he has a baby watching him and relying on him. Remind him you love him and are here for him. And be there for him a little extra, message him often and keep his mind busy.

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Someone’s a tad bit psycho!! Mental ward for him!!

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Until he takes away the hope of them getting back together, he’ll stay stuck

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This guy is in trouble you really need to help him ask before he does something really stupid

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If he’s talking about suicide then he is really thinking about it and making plans. If he were drowning and needed your help wouldn’t you get the help to save him. He desperately needs professional counseling. This would be the worst thing he could do to his daughter.

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While you helping him move on make sure he does better for his next partner. Women don’t just walk out anyhow your brother probably woke up to late when she got tired of asking and begging him.

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Set him up on a date …n yess someone definitely needs to move out

He needs to move out and see a grief counselor.

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Yea if she is talking to other men she needs to have enough respect to not do around him one of them need to move out so that he does not watch everything she does

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Get him help and let him move in with you. He played a part in why his marriage is over so he needs to face that. That can be incredibly painful so he’s going to need a lot of support and accountability.

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He needs a therapist, not another woman.

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And why the heck is she letting him still live there? That’s just crazy

Tell him to move out the house for starters

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I tried for years with my own brother to get away from his toxic “wife” and feeling like I wasted my breath each time; he still hasn’t fully let go of her. The only way your brother will move on, is when he’s ready.
Just be there for him as much as you can.

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I would definitely help him move out because he can’t let go if he still has hope there is an open door with them living together and I would also do an interventions to express ur feelings because your probably not the only one close to him that’s worried but it is up to him to move on and get help u can only be there to support him

If you think he is serious about suicide, you might have to have him committed. In many states they will keep them for 30 days if they are deemed to be a danger to themselves.

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Not sure what his financial situation is but the first thing he should do, is move out. He will never be able to move on if he continues to live in the same household as her.

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Maybe advise him to start seeing other women

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He needs a counselor, not another woman. Many times I’ve seen people use other people to try and fill that empty space they have and never turns out good. Like always he needs to find happiness in himself for his self and for his child. She doesn’t care if she is already moved on.

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He needs to move out… can you.offer him a place to stay until he can save money for a place. He needs to be independent from her and not seeing her everyday or he isnt going to move on…

Ughhhhh that sucks. He needs to move out for sure.

If you seriously think he’s planning to complete suicide, get him to an emergency room right away. Let him move in with you or encourage him to move in with another sibling or your parents. He needs to feel his whole Family’s Love.

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I’m living with my ex wife and we have a 7 and 10 year old and she moved back in the house and I had hope but all she does is text and seeing another guy and lies about it

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I want her to move out but I don’t want to hurt the kids

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I feel for your brother understand how he feels

Suggest a counselor, moving out and if he threatens harm call for emergency services ASAP.

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Stay in your lane he’ll get there when he gets there trash talking her or trying to force someone into seeing things a certain way never works out

He will not be able to move on until he moves out of that home. Have him move in with you temporarily until he can get his own place. The fact that she is already dating men let’s me know she mentally checked out a long time ago. If you want to really help your brother, don’t make him the victim and her the bad guy. Tell him their relationship is finished and it’s time he reflects on the lessons he has learned through this relationship so he can evolve into a better version of himself. Good luck to him and you for being a good sister.

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A friend of mine has had a similarly difficult time letting go of her toxic ex-husband. All you can do is encourage them to focus on their personal growth. Invite him out to do stuff. Drop him info on events that appeal to his hobbies and will get him socializing with other people. He has to develop his self worth so he can divorce his identity from the relationship before he can let go.

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he honestly needs to move in with family or on his own and join a club and or go to therapy.

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1st off he needs to Move Out!!! Take him in if u can …That is not healthy for him and Maybe Therapy

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He needs to get away from her. Or he’s just gonna get new cuts every time.

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Well I’d fuck her up but that’s just me.

Yo move on he needs to move out

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If he’s suicidal you need to alert his doctor right away. Now!! Then he needs therapy and another place to live. Ask a friend to take him in if you can’t. Once they release him from the psych ward have enough of his stuff collected and drive him directly to wherever he’s going to live. Have the ex change the locks and offer to go back yourself to pick up stuff for him.

Why can’t he get his own place, just lack of will? Maybe after a week or so out of the marital house, take him apartment or condo shopping. Ensure as best you can that he continues therapy. Grief counseling also works as he is grieving a relationship.

Not sure what kind of finances you and your brother have, but you could offer to help pay for therapy or a down payment or start a go fund me page for him if he’s got nothing or needs it all to pay a lawyer.

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He needs to move out is there anywhere he can go?xx

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Take him out and show him

For one they need to separate and not live in the same home tried that with my ex husband and he wouldn’t get the point and move on. He then thought he could move in to my mom’s and I would come back it took him a long time to get the hint and find a girlfriend cuz I wasn’t coming back

He may have lost his individual identity to the relationship becoming dependent on the ex? If that’s the case it’s a personal journey to discover one self again. You can try to encourage him to start doing things he might enjoy or love to do? If he says there is nothing, start with taking him out to eat or get a new outfit? Get projects to do at home like build something? Encourage him to join local groups of interest, gym? Men’s shed? A sport? Learn to paint or a musical instrument? It’s not easy letting go of something we love so one step at a time.

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I am in his shoes loving someone who doesnt love u and my husband is seeing and living with another woman never sees the kids anymore i feel my whole life is falling apart but we must remember our worth anyone who loves you would never make u feel this way to begin with its better to love yourself :100::heart:

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Unfortunately you can’t do anything. When time comes he’s ready and all prepared, he’ll leave. Until then, no matter what someone says or do if his heart ain’t ready he won’t leave.

Maye help him find a place of his own. Then after he gets settled, take him with you on an outing. Not necessarily a bar or anything. But like out to lunch, dinner, coffee. Some place he can see that there are other women in the world besides her. Tell him a walk will help with getting out of his head. And go somewhere that has other people walking.

He needs to move out from living with her if they’re divorced

If he’s talking about harming himself, he needs professional help. Chances are that’ll help him get over his ex as well.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I help my brother move on?

He needs to move out to be able to move on. That is so unhealthy for him and her and the kid.

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He needs to get away and then heal. Grieve. Learn to love himself again.

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Poor guy. He needs to move out. Being all up in her shit is not going to help.

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He won’t be able to grieve the loss and then accept the loss until he is no longer living with her.
Get him professional help asap and away from her.

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Sis, I hate to tell you, but you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help their self.
Yes, you can encourage him and try to help keep him sane, but he won’t leave until he’s ready.
He’s only pushing the knife deeper all on his own.
I truly hate saying this, because I believe any and everyone can be helped, but he’ll win this battle only if he truly wants to.

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Get professional help and for him or her to move out.

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They need to not be living in the same place because that’s only causing more hurt for him since he’s still invested.

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Stop saying things like he can do better and any other derogatory remarks. He loves her(the ex) and that just makes him more defensive of her…plus she is his childs mother. One of them needs to move. Who got custody of the child in the divorce? Who got to keep the home (unless they
rent) Either way he’s got to find a way to move on. It’s not healthy for the kid to live with divorced parents while her mom is dating and living the single life.
He needs to put his child as #1 in his life and himself…move out to a place he can make a home for him and his child! It must not bother the ex too much for him to be there since she’s living HER life. He needs to find some pride and self respect and get out.

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He needs to move out asap.

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He needs to move out

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He can’t believe he lost her! She does just enough to keep him hanging on! And it’s working for her! Nothing you say or do will matter because your brother is caught up! He needs to know that he could jump, shit and shout all at the same time and this will never change her! His fantasy will never change her! Tell him that he could die and she wouldn’t care! He has to help himself!

He needs to move out of the house. It’s almost impossible to get over someone living with them.

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He hast to come to that realization himself, it doesn’t matter what anybody says or how they were day or how many times they say it at the end of the day until you realize that for yourself there’s really nothing that anybody else can do for you other than just be there for me. That’s really all that you can do is just be there for him. Just make sure that he knows that, just be there for emotional support whenever he needs it. He hast to work through this in his own time in his own way. There’s nothing to do to speed up the process or to really fix the situation.

They need to sell the house, split the profit in half for each and find places away from each other, he needs a therapist to help with the obsession and boundaries need to be established, i.e. if it doesn’t concern the kid, it doesn’t need to be said