I usually am not one to do this, but I am at an absolute loss. My dad is 47 years old, and he is in so deep with drug addiction, he has had a hard life, but you would never guess it when you meet him he has the biggest heart and would literally give the shirt off his back to help someone he’s my best friend, but he’s been on a downward spiral for the last couple of years. He’s currently incarcerated myself, and my family members have decided to stop bailing him out. My question is if anyone had dealt with a loved one who is struggling with addiction and if them being in jail helped them or steps, I could take to help him. I’m so scared I will lose him forever to this addiction.
You can’t. He has to take that step himself or it won’t work.
The sad truth? You can’t.
If he’s in jail you know he’s not doing the drugs,and if he stays in there long enough then they will get out of his system, then it’s up to him.
I’m dealing with the same thing my sister had been in jail for the last 6 months and she seems like a total different person I think that it was good because it gave her time to sober up and realize what was important and when she gets out I’ll be there every step of the way to help her stay clean but I know she will have to do it herself I just hope she had enough time that she will stay off drugs when she gets out good luck to you and I hope it works out
I know it’s hard to watch someone you love self destruct. But like most of the other ladies are saying, you can’t help a drug addict get on the right track until they want to. Trust me, I know it first hand
Detox then Rehab for 3 Months
I’m praying for you. I am a mother of 2 boys that have a addict father. And speaking from experience. We have tried all we possibly could do to help him. He was and still is in denial even after he lost his girlfriend to a overdose. There’s no amount of love that can over take the addiction. It has to be his love and want to be sober and only he can do it!! I strongly recommend you looking into al-Anon. It’s an amazing support group to help you through this!! Sending so many prayers
All you can do is ask God to deliver him from addiction
you would be shocked as to what they can get their hands on in jail , there are plenty of drugs inside…and you can’t do anything for him…i stood by and supported my ex for numerous stays in jail, he got out and went right back to it…10 years wasted…your dad has to be the one that wants help
Everything they’ve said is true… He’s probably sitting there plotting how he’s going to get high as soon as he gets out … I’m clean 30 years now & he needs to want it or it won’t happen… Everybody’s bottom is different… God bless honey I hope he finds his way back
You can’t work harder than him to help him get clean. He has to want it and be willing to do the work to get there.
It helped my family member until he got out. Didn’t take long for him to slip back into it
Leave him in jail and hopefully you can convince him to seek help while he’s there and continue when he gets out. Offer to attend meetings with him, go to appts with him, church if that’s his thing. Just be there for him when he’s willing to be there for himself, but if he’s not willing you’ll never be able to force him to get help by helping him stay in his addiction, you’ll have to walk away if he won’t help himself.
My brother has had a heroin addiction for roughly 10 years. He’s been in and out of prison, hes currently in prison again. He’s missed his kids growing up, our mom is dying and she probably wont make it to his release date. You cannot help someone that’s not ready to get help. He has to confront what’s deeper within that causes him to use. My brother is currently in mental health and group therapy and had a grasp on his issues that he tried to numb by using. The only thing you can do is be there, but dont enable.
Maybe he’s hit bottom now . Has he ever been in a 12 step program ? You could give him some literature to read while he is incarcerated about staying clean . Also tell him it is up to him to decide to stay clean and that the rest of you do not want that nonsense in your lives otherwise . Stay strong .
You really can’t. He has to want to be helped. He has to realize that he’s hit rock bottom. It’s a very hard road to go down. Don’t bail him out. But generally speaking, being locked up only helps temporarily. Good luck. Hugs and love for you.
He has to want to help himself first before anyone else can help him
Your dad will have to want to get
off the drugs and stay off. No matter what ultimatum you give him, how hard you love him, it’s up to him. All you can do is love him for afar and hope for the best. The best thing you can do for him is not enable him.
my dad had a back surgry in the 2000 and nothing ever worked and he was eating prescription pills like it was candy. i begged him to stop but he never did he weighed 360.00 (healthy) know he is 200 and in jail on his way to possibly prison. i had to cut off contact completely because of his continus actions. i wish you the best with everything
You can’t help him. You are currently loving him to death. Not trying to be rude but its a fact! Im a addict in recovery 12 years now. No one could help me until i was ready to sober up. Go to Al Anon meeting. YOU will get help there for yourself.
Tell him while he’s locked up and sober how scared his drug addiction makes you and ask him if he can go to a Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meeting in prison (sometimes they have them there) be truthful with him he needs people to tell him the truth while he’s dried out in jail.
I was married to a drug addict for 18 years and everytime I tried to force him to get help it backfired on me. Now my daughter is addicted and has even served jail time but neither want(ed) the help so there was nothing I could do. In fact the more I tried to help them the further it pushed them away. They will only get help when and if they are ready.
Let him be in jail. Tell him you love him too much to bail him out. At least he will be sober.
Jail doesn’t help unfortunately if he wants drugs he can get them in there also.
Sad thing about addiction is if he doesn’t want to get clean no one can make him. If he does want too a stay in rehab would be best then he needs to stay away from the area he always went too, don’t contact the people he hung out with and keep up with NA and therapy.
You can’t help him, unless he is willing to help himself. Tough love.
That’s a tough one! You should be focusing on your own life, not worrying about your dad. Sad reality is, he’s the only one who can help himself.
What you can do is back off and take care if you. Please find a local naranon or alanon meeting to attend. This will help you cope and survive.
He has to want to get clean. Pure and simple. You can’t help him. My younger brother got out of yet another stint in jail literally this morning. He won’t be receiving anymore help from any of us. Because he has to do it for himself. Bailing out is enabling and actually helping to drive him further down the rabbit hole. By trying to “help” him you’re actually helping kill him quicker. I’m sorry. Truly. My heart breaks for you. I’m a recovering addict/alcoholic. I come from a long line of them. A long line of exes that are and were addicts/alcoholics as well. No one could tell me anything. My saving grace was having my daughter, my angel of a mentor/friend, and God. Until I was ready for myself and made the decision I wanted to get clean and sober nothing anyone said or did ever mattered. Period. Best of luck and much love your way. It’s a hard road to suffer and to watch.
From my experience, those incarcerated for 2-5 years, start again, upon release.
Hopefully your situation is different. Best of luck.
I know a guy went to jail for over a year, when he got out he changed his circle and been clean over a year. When quitting opioids it takes 14 months to get out of your system, so the longer they stay clean is key to staying clean.
Listen the only person who can.make that desicion to get help is your.dad and your dad only. It is unfortunate and u dont want to see.him sink he has to wake up ask himself how long he wants to live this way at this point just.pray hell get help.and stay sober call Alanon for advice if u need to and good luck to you
You cant hell him… sadly only he can help himself. You need to walk away until he sorts himself out. Yes you love him but he will only drag you down.
Introduce him to Mike Lindell the my pillow guy. He is setting up thousands faith-based recovery systems!
Lead by example… Ask him to go to a NA meeting with you… Don’t let his no response stop you, get some support for your needs. Keep asking he might surprise you.
You didn’t cause it
You can’t cure it
Don’t contribute to it
Problem with it is there is nothing you can do if he isnt ready to get the help.
I laid my dad to rest last year, because none of our pleas to let us help him went anywhere. I spent 5 years in a very unsafe marriage because he just needed help too. But neither were willing to get the help they needed at that point
As sad as it is, theres nothing you can do until they are ready.
Get yourself into a support group for children of drug abusers. Yes he’s your Dad, you love him but his addiction places you at risk. His life’s choices are NOT your responsibility. You will face times where you will have look him in the eye and tell him no you are not included because of your addiction. You will need to be strong.
I dealt with this with one of my children. Tbh jail didnt help him. Nothing did until he decided he was ready. There is nothing u can to to make someone ready to get clean. Its something they have to want for themselves. It hurts…honestly its one of the most painful things i have had to deal with. U cant enable the behavior but u cant change it either. Hopefully he decides soon that he wants to get clean. Then u can help. Also check out NarAnon website. It has a lot of good info for ppl with family members who r addicts. that one helped me a lot. U didnt cause it, u cant control it, and u cant change it. Its a hard truth but thats just how it is
Can you get him in rehab?
Work on your ability of loving detachment from any outcome in this situation.
It is literally beyond your control.
I pray for you. But unfortunately you have to let him do it on his own. It’s worse because your his daughter and your scared to lose him. It depends on him. Jail helps some steps help others and a very scary over dose helps the rest. But education will always help. Talk to doctors for yourself… trust me when I say, if he does not help himself, you have already lost your dad. You did everything you could and you deserve to live your life for yourself.
They told me that if I helped them bail them out or enabled them in any way that I was as guilty as they were they have to hit rock bottom before they will even try to change unfortunately rock bottom is different for everyone and it sucks because you want to help them but they have to do this for themselves
Be at the prison gates waiting to pick him upon.A large amount of prisoners are found dead as they think they can still take the same amount. They can’t as there tolerance level drops to nothing or close to nothing.you need to be with him on his release.
Let him suffer for his mistakes, and don’t baby him! Stop supporting him, cut him off. Tell him when he’s serious about stopping and staying clean of his own free will, meaning without other chemicals or the replacement addictions, then you will gladly allow him back in your life. Until then you will not sit back and watch him kill himself. Nor will you Chase him around trying to corral him to do the right thing.
First if all, you are not alone. This is what I have learned over the years.
You can not save him. You can not fix him or even make him want to get better! Only he can decide to better his life and ask for help when ready. There is nothing you can do but be there to listen. Don’t enable. Don’t give money and don’t bail him out of jail. It’s a tough lesson
Yes quit bailing him out - If you keep helping him YOU are enabling his problem. Let him grow up and get help. I had to do this for my son. Now he is drug free and owns his own house.
I lost brother in 2018 because of addiction. He was in and out of jail and rehab so many times I lost count. It didnt help him. It all depends on if that person is willing to change. You cant make him. Some people learn and some dont. The only thing that can help is praying. He needs to give it to God and if he seriously wants to quit that’s the only way to go.
He needs to understand he’s worthy of a sober life. We always tell addicts to get clean for the wife, child, mom etc, but he has to do it for himself. Don’t bail
Him out & encourage him to go to NA or a drug group. You should also find a Al-anon group & get help on how to deal with the addiction.
There is a man on Facebook his name is Richie Webber. Look him up and write him. He is amazing! He gets scholarships for people he may be able to help you
Our older sister is an addict and has been for 30+ years. If there’s one thing I know for a fact, it’s that there is absolutely nothing WE can do for her. It absolutely has to be on her own doing. We walked away. She hurt our children when they were babies. No more.
Honestly if they don’t want help then there is nothing you can do he made his choice and you are his daughter you aren’t responsible for the decisions in his life I know its hard but you have to at this point otherwise he’s just going to rely on you for everything he needs help let him find it himself
I have gone through this with my sister and one thing my parents and I kept in mind is that in jail she is safe. She is alive. She is warm and being fed. It gave us some peace of mind when she was incarcerated just for those reasons. He has to want to quit and be sober. No matter what you say or do, if HE doesn’t want a new and better life then he won’t change. He needs to hit rock bottom and do this for him!
He has to make the choice… no one else can and anything anyone does to help at this point is only enabling… it’s hard to watch and it will rip your heart out of your chest but if he won’t make the initiative no one else can
Me and my husband are recovering heroin/meth addicts. 2 years clean. The best thing a loved one can do is tell them I’m sorry, but I don’t accept your behavior and I will not let you be apart of my life as long as you are using. This includes a place to stay, a place to shower, money, rides, etc… You have to cut ties, until they are ready to do it on their own. Enabling them will only allow them to continue to use.
Well we have been there I just don’t think jail helps .but you can hope now me I’m total green when it comes to drug.
We found recovery thru the program of narcotics anonymous (NA). This is where I found other people like me who understood what I was going through and could relate to.
There is nothing you can do until he decides that he wants to change his life and he has to make steps and follow through with it himself. Honestly there is nothing you can say or do to help him until he helps himself. My oldest brother has been an addict since he was 16 and somehow he has made it to 50 and currently in a rehab for a year this time (which we will see since he was forced by his uncle). I know it kills you because its your dad and you know he could be so much more and better but you cant fix him…
Do you follow “the addicts story” on fb? And also the podcast the betrayed, the addict and the therapist is great to listen to. Honestly you can’t help him if he doesn’t want it. . Dealing with the same thing with my ex.
U quit bailing him out U quit helping with any money don’t enable him the nicer U are the easier it is for him to keep going on his downward spiral and to be honest U can’t help someone who dosent want help
the only thing u can do is step back and let the consequences hit him. It sounds brutal, but the truth is he will never choose to turn his life around until he gets smacked in the face by his life choices. Until them do not give him money, don’t bail him out of jail, and do not believe one word he says.
Get yourself into alanon and maybe talk to a drug counselor. I also would attend AA meetings. Number one rule, do not be co-dependent. It will only cause you a lot of heart ache.
You need to go to a nat-anon. Here is ther link it should help.
My brother is on drugs and has been since he was a teen. He had lived just about his entire life with my parents. He did have a relationship for 13 years until she could no longer take his abuse. They had 5 children and all of them lived with my parents off and on throughout their relationship. He went to prison 2 different times as adult (8) yrs and a boys home when he was a teen. ( 2)yrs. Well he was release ,time served in 2008. To live ,again ,with my parents. My father in 2012 then my mother in 2016 developed cancer. Going through multiple rounds of chemo and / or radiation. Dad died March of 2018 mom died Jan 2019. Brother, He abused mom for years stealing, hounding, begging or just forcing her to go to the bank to withdraw money. Then at the end of my fathers life he was 6 foot tall weighing 125 lbs. my brother started to bully my father. The night my father died. He bled to death from artery in his neck rupturing out of his trach. He stole the money in his pocket and took my fathers truck to his drug dealer, before he went to the hospital to see if my father was still alive. He bullied my mother for her pain pills daily. I would leave her medicine and he would take them before I had left the drive way. In the end she had progressed stage of dementia. I do not know who did it , but one of them, him ,girlfriend or drug dealer hit her with her cane across her leg trying to force he to give them drugs she did not have. She died 2 weeks later. I live in another state 3 hours away. I work 3 days come home for 2 work 3 more come home for 6. This was my schedule for the last 3 years of my parents life. There was no one else to help me. Well I was able to gain custody of my mom and after putting up cameras and seeing the theft and abuse. I evicted the brother and the girlfriend. 10 days after mom died. Now for a little over 1 year my brother has been homeless. My sister still helps him. Giving him food and clothing, blankets, she had bought him several tents. That he just leaves where ever. I have told him I will not help him, because he had 10 months to get his act together after my dad died, before mom died . I told him we weren’t going to take care of him. My sister has been doing it for a year now. Struggles , he will take her last dollar with lies. I tell her as long as you feed and cloth him he can spend his money on drugs. They do not work they panhandle for money. I refuse to help. He hS to learn to take care of himself as my sister and I learned at 18/ or 19 year olds. I moved out the day after I graduated from high school and moved to another state at 20. My sister moved out at 18 she got married. He says it was a lot different back then. I say being responsible for yourself is what you have to learn at what ever age, grow up you are 52 years old. So you can’t help them. They have to help themselves. If you try they will only take advantage or use, or steal and justify their actions. He says I abandon him when I moved out and moved away. I was a kid myself at 19 and at 20 moving to another state. How could I take care of a 14/15 year old when I was a kid myself. We all have a damaged background. We all had the same childhood neither myself or my sister do or have ever done drugs. We share the same,e parents… grow up and get help for your addictions. Only you can decide to quit.
I agree don’t bail out. Send loads of jail mail. He has nothing else to do. Send rehabs. Send obituaries send good stuff too. But you are the filter. No triggers.
Let me start by, I’ve been clean for 5 years. There is nothing you can do. He has to want it. You can’t force sobriety on anyone who doesn’t want it for themselves. You wanting it isn’t enough. Jail can help, but only if HE is ready. You better Pray about it. Cause he needs a come to Jesus meeting with himself
What is his drug of preference?
Honestly sometimes it’s best to leave incarcerated, that way he cant get the drugs. But if he does get out, has anyone thought of getting him some help, have him go to a rehab clinic?
Leave him in there, tough love was The only thing worked for me.
Actually jail does nothing for an addict, first off they need to be ready for sobriety , its a hard road ahead , if hes ready , get your local substance abuse clinic to go evaluate him snd get him on list for a hed in rehab , after his 28 days , he needs to go in sober living , it takes working a 12 step program , and God to help him , addiction is a hell in itself , ill be praying for your dad , he will need all the love and family support thru his journey
Let him know how much he means to you. There are tons of inpatient rehabs that will take him, but he’s gonna have to go willingly. Stay strong.
U can’t!! He has to want to!! Alls u can do is show him love!!
He has it want to change. It’s the only way he will. Being locked up is not going to do it. There are drugs in there. He needs love support and rehab.
As an alcoholic and addict working the steps and living sobriety - you can’t do anything , don’t bail him out , don’t give him money , he’ll right now he is what I call a red flag and what should we do with red flags ? Avoid them . If you assist in any way your enabling bad behavior and continue the cycle of him being a victim . He won’t change until he wants to , till then you have to live your best life and set up healthy boundaries . When someone has nothing to lose they will lie steal cheat manipulate con or do whatever it takes to make you wrong and them right . If need more guidance feel free to message me . Yes it sucks yes it’s hard yes you will have guilt yes you even might blame but know your wrong he’s an adult and he made choices and as an adult he must face the consequences and if you have family you must guard your heart and family
Being in incarcerated is just helping him stay clean not really helping with the problem. Coming from a family of drug addicts in n out of prison. Theres nothing u can do unless the addict is Done. U can be there for them all u want but if theyre not willing to help themselves…then you’ll just drive urself crazy trying.
I myself struggled with addiction for many years. I even went to jail. Going to jail wont help him. Especially if hes been an addict for years. Sometimes it has to take a big tragedy or something major for someone to change that lifestyle, like almost dying. When he gets out he will seek. He has to want to change. Dont spend your money bailing him out its just a waste. Let him sit there. He needs to hit rock bottom. After all that I have been through, the things that I have seen and felt. It was scary. One day, I just got on a bus from Cali to NC. My mother was out here. But she wouldnt help me much for a place to stay so I went to a homeless shelter. I didnt know anyone out here. I quit on my own. I got up on my own feet. I changed for the best. I am now 16 yrs clean. I was on chrystal meth for 8 yrs. A person has got to want to change. You can try to put him in an inpatient rehab and start from there and do an intervention with your family and let him know how much you hurt to see him doing this. But the thing is, even if he went to that rehab, his chances are slim when he gets out because he has to be the one willing to stop using. Forcing him to stop is only going to lead to a bad relationship with him and he will push you away. Hopefully while he is in jail it cleans him up, hopefully the judge ordered him to go to drug classes. I didnt need a rehab, I just needed to move away and not know anyone. Like I said he needs to hit rock bottom and hit it hard. You might just have to walk away that will hurt him but it may be the key to get him motivated to quit. Good luck.
Yes - leave him there. Request that he has court ordered rehab after his sentence. If he WANTS to be sober, he will learn a lot there! With my experience, after a long prison stint they decide they want to be sober.
And believe me…it hurts to see loved one in that kinda situation n not being able to do nothing about it. Just hope n pray they come to their senses before it’s too late.
Best thing you can do is him know he’s not alone in his struggle. Its definitely hard being a family member and watching the hell storm unfold. People often need to hit rock bottom before they want help or even talk about getting sober. As a family you can all stick together and make a plan among yourselves and staying consistent. It’s really hard but make sure you take care of yourself in the process.
My mom is addicted to gambling and my brother has dealt with addiction in his past… I would say don’t stop being there for him. Be there for him, provide resources for him to get help and remind him he isn’t alone. Please, don’t drain yourself though. I feel like trying to control an addict and their actions just makes them angrier and us well… tired/hurt. Jail didn’t help my brother. He came out worse and has more problems now. All we can do is be there. Like the people mentioned above, the person really really has to want change.
They will change only if they want to.nbody can change them but themselves. Him hitting bottom is what he needs. And you my girl just need to pray and pray and pray. No amt of words will penetrate his soul unless he’s ready.
He won’t accept help unless he’s ready. I say this as a person that has many drug addicts and alcoholics on my dads side of the family. My dad, several siblings and aunts and uncles all had addiction issues. Addicts don’t get clean unless they’re ready to. They may get clean for a short time then relapse because they weren’t ready. Don’t tell him to get clean for you cuz he may get clean for a short time for you but it won’t last. Not unless he does it for himself! He needs to hit rock bottom. Do not enable him by giving him money even if he says it’s for food. It’s not I promise. Do not support him in any way. I don’t mean don’t talk to him or anything but just don’t help him. He needs to struggle and if you’re helping him he won’t struggle so much. He needs to hit rock bottom before he’ll get help
You can’t. He has to want to quit himself. It sucks. I do it for a living. People lose their kids and keep using
You can’t. my sister finally set in jail for 18 months after we stopped bailing her out and she was out 5 months and right back to drugs. So til someone wants help them self there is nothing at all you can do. It hurts and it sucks but you have to come to terms with it for your own mental health and go on with your life til they do it then self
You can not help him until he is ready.
As someone who has dealt with drug addicts for a mother and step father. He has to want help. My mom has been in and out of jail and rehabs nothing has ever worked. I even picked up and moved my family to another state when I caught them doing dope with my son in their house and they’re still running around high and making excuses. I was never that close with either of them bc of my childhood and other things that happened when I became an adult. If he doesn’t want to change he never will he has to want it.
Go to Al-Anon for yourself. You can’t make an addict/alcoholic make changes only they can make that decision.
You got to let he hit rock bottom. But yes I believe some prison have AA and such. He can also be courted into rehab. You let him know you love him but you can’t bail him out anymore.
The only thing that will make him quit is him genuinely wanting to. My ex is a meth addict. He will never quit because he would rather get high, sleep with hookers and not deal with his issues. He will take breaks here and there for months but then he’s right back to it. He will eventually OD because he does extreme amounts and is known to have seizures on it.
It won’t matter where he is if he doesn’t want to stop he won’t.
Most drug addiction is caused by emotional or mental illness. The drugs are used to calm their anxiety and depression. He needs counseling and an exam to narrow it down exactly what his Issues are.
I grew up with an alcoholic and drug addict dad. You can not do anything to help. They must be willing to want to help themselves. What helped my dad get off drugs was when he realized he could lose me to CPS when I was younger. He stopped right away. But because of him stopping it lead to more alcohol which then killed him. Its best to just leave him there for now.
Yes me my brother is now 52 and back in jail again. He has been on the drugs road since a teen, in and out of jail all of his adult life.
We’ve all tried, he has had so much agency support, people have got him jobs, we have given him money to help. He just chooses that life
I’ve listened to him ranting so many times. He won’t change, he has had plenty of chances and opportunities given to him that so many won’t ever get
I honestly believe my brother is now damaged in the brain from all the crap he has done. You name it he has consumed it. He does not think like a sober person, he has even told me he doesn’t cope out in society. In jail he is a senior bloke, been in the system
Anyone who thinks they are sober in jail, think again. My brother tells me how he gets his hits
I have an ex hubby who is had an addiction to alcohol. Until he is ready to face it n actually get the help all u can do is be there for him. My ex spent almost 5 years in prison n so far it seemed to help but then again he just got home in Dec. So Im still by his side rooting him on. So good luck
Write to him, tell him you love him. Encourage him to seek help. Realize, though, he has to want to do it for himself
Been thru it with my brother who ultimately lost his life at the ripe old age of 24. The BIGGEST mistake you could make is enabling him, especially if u want him to live.
Yep ,my brother and he knows I won’t bail him out no more. It just enables them when you do.
Talk to him. When he gets out and if he wants to stay sober offer to go to NA with him. Figure out what sets him off kn the drugs and help be the support to encourage him to to go back. See if you can help him into a clean living facility or even take it a step further and offer to take him to a good drug rehab. Best luck.
Go to Alanon meetings. Help yourself.
I’ve dealt with it with my sister Danielle and all I can tell you is if they don’t want help honestly there’s nothing you can do. they may said the moment of time they will accept the help but in all honesty if they really truly deep in their soul don’t want help and aren’t willing to fight there’s nothing you can do. The honest truth is you don’t know how to help them and they don’t know how to help themselves. Until they can figure out why they’re doing this to themselves and when it all started it and what the triggers are there’s not much you can do for them. If he doesn’t want help, willing to put up a hell of a fight, and try to find a reason to get better you can’t help them. The best advice I can give you is don’t give them any money is they claim they need something they need to work for it or if they don’t have any food give them food don’t give them money because it’s not going to go to what you want. You can talk to him and see if he’s willing to go to an inpatient rehabilitation but if he’s not willing to go for himself he’s not going to get better. You can’t force someone to do anything they don’t want to, you can’t even trick them into getting help. You can try and convince him and show him how bad the situation really is and could get. All you can do is be there and it sucks to sit back and watch I lost my best friend to the same thing. this stuff even almost cost my sister her very own life. Eventually they may get to the point where they can’t do it anymore but the question is when they get to that point are they going to make the change to get better or are they just going to end it. I say talk to him and show him how good he was doing and how healthy he looked versus now and how bad it can get see if he’s willing to do impatient and possibly therapy
Have an honest conversation with him, with your heart on your sleeve. I’ve been thru this and know exactly how you feel. You can message me