How can I help my son through his social anxiety and depression?

He needs serious therapy and possibly meds. Anxiety meds help a lot. Who is buying his weed? I k ow you are frightened but see a therapist or go to a family narcanon for free. Don’t fear meds. Under supervision they can work wonders.

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He should speak with his primary doctor about the depression. They can recommend anti-depressants and therapist for him. Since he is 18 he is considered an adult so they will treat him as such moving forward. He can let them know it is ok for you to have his medical information if he is ok with it. He may have something other than just depression and they can diagnose that as well. My daughter is almost 16 and it took two years for her to admit she was feeling the way she was feeling even when the doctors asked her questions at appointments I was at. He may fee more comfortable and open up if he is at his appointment alone. (I know it’s hard as a parent to step back and let them take control of their lives but he is old enough to). With his mental health issues (that sound like they have been going on for awhile) it may not be possible for him to hold down a job or something of the like until his mental health is under control

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As someone who has worked in the field of addiction, he needs to see a counselor. It seems as if there is depression along with the social anxiety. Marijuana can make it worse, and cause him to care even less about things.

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He’s already self medicating.
Depression is a dangerous malady and should not be left untreated. Since he is willing to seek help, he needs to go to a therapist ASAP. Ask his doctor for a referral to someone specializing in teenagers.

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Get the weed tested…not sure how but some weed has been cut with all sorts and is very dangerous and makes people lifeless other weed is life enhancing…maybe changing the weed would help him to grow his own. Sounds like he needs something to feel confident with…bullies come in all forms…any siblings?

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I think your Son needs to know your there for him no matter what but also he needs professional help and some meds and a therapist to talk to and also tell him he can’t smoke the weed in your house and he needs to get a job and pay rent who he will have to move out in 30 days don’t let him walk over you my Son did that and now we’re not speaking because he thinks he is better than me but he has ADHD mental illness runs in the family so he needs help but can’t see it

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I am not trying to scare you, my son went through the same thing minus smoking weed, I wish he would have maybe that would have helped. I took him to doctors and they put him on depression meds and he would take one or two days and stop. I so wish I would have taken him to a counselor or something but didn’t really have the money.
Anyway my story didn’t end well and I have to live with the guilt and no future with my youngest son. Please do whatever you can. There is something wrong. My son was out going a alot of friends over all the time. When he hit Jr high he just cut everyone off. So you do what you need too. Good luck your a good brave mom for putting this out there and asking.

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I have depression and anxiety. I have been through a lot of therapists. Especially in high school. Finding the right one is KEY. If its possible to get through it without medication, great. But if not, there’s no shame in it.

I felt trapped in my own body. I knew I turned into someone else, and didny like that person but I was powerless to stop it.

Together with my dr I found the right medication (just like with a therapist, finding the right one is KEY, and you can’t expect it to fix itself over night. It took me a few weeks to notice a change.) And I was finally able to be myself and was motivated to return to my passions and hobbies. I was outside, I went out with friends a lot. I was singing horribly in the shower again!

Just be supportive. This is awful to go through alone.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job, mama. I wish both of you get it figured out and heal. :purple_heart:

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Speaking as a retired mental health professional, he needs to be seen by a psychiatrist as the change over the recent years and the intensity of the issues could be something very significant. Psychiatrists diagnose and then discuss treatment options, some of which might include meds but not always, and some of which likely include therapy. The sooner this happens and interventions start the better. Tough love and pick yourself up by the bootstraps aren’t the answer. PM me if you want to talk further.

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I’d start with considering seeing a therapist. Amd find a good one and talk about all the concerns from then on …meds or no meds…at what point reached is meds a must try? Ditch the weed? Among everything else thsg may need talked about. Thats just me. Amd mayb discuss baby steps for going out comfortably again . Like just an idea would be take a short walk together somewhere comfortable and peaceful

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He needs a therapist/psychiatrist. If he had high blood pressure, would you second guess medication for it? If he has depression, think of medication for it the same way as you would think of insulin for a diabetic and meds for high blood pressure.

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The first thing is finding a good therapist that he likes and trusts. Medication helps too but I found with my 18yo daughter that the best thing for her is seeing a therapist once per week.

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Everyone is going to give you different opinions on what they think his diagnosis is. People have different opinions about weed too. Without the proper diagnosis through a medical Doctor everyone is just guessing. I think we all need encourage you to seek medical advice. As you can see from all the posts below your not alone. My heartfelt prayers go out to you and all who’re fighting any kind of mental illness. Please take care of yourself too. :pray:t2:

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Sounds like clinical anxiety and depression. Get him to a psychiatrist. He may have chemical imbalance that he has no control over. Help him asap.

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Ik a lot of people are not going to like this but anyway. I have severe anxiety disorder and I have to take med. For it. Just like a diabetic needs there mmed so do people with severe anxiety. I don’t do anything with friends anymore, I cant leave the house a lot. It can literally make you feel so alone especially trying to explain how you feel, and you feel embarrassed. Like I wish I could enjoy life like other’s do. It’s a battle everyday. Praying for your son.:pray::pray::pray:

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Look up brain mapping on line…they can check to see if and what all is going on with him (with out drugs) but he really needs to stop smoking weed. Or they will want to treat that before trying to help what else is going on in his head… they will help him control his anxiety… it will help save his fife if he’s willing to get better.

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Exercise helps the body and his mind. Invest in a gym with a personal trainer. Find a pastor, priest or counselor he can talk with confidentially. A psychiatrist can prescribe a mood stabilizer for the short term.Those will help.

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You pulled him from school and perhaps (unspoken by him) he didn’t want to be away from school. If he hasn’t already tell him you will help enroll him in GED classes. As far as sweating profusely, there are meds that help with that so that he can be around others and not feel anxious about the sweating.

Stop the weed. Get a diagnosis and may need more effective medication. It may be more than social anxiety other mental illnesses surface in this age group. Could also be a mixed bag.

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I feel your pain. That’s a difficult situation to deal with. Encourage him to use his potential and support him as much as possible,but don’t coddle him. Let him know that life is not free, you won’t always be there, and he’s wasting the best years of his life

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Get him off the weed. If he lives at home, ban it. That will cure a lot of his problems, motivation, weight, health, depression.

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Smoking weed daily can cause anxiety. Occasional use is said to relieve anxiety but like any substance you can overdo it . As a 20 + years psychiatric nurse , I’d say your son is depressed and needs treatment. Just as you have experienced depression , those genes are shared with him . Depression is often a chemical imbalance and requires medical attention. Make him an appointment with a psychiatrist, a young one he will feel comfortable with . It may be he needs a therapist to speak with also . Get him some help , you remember how horrible you felt when you were depressed. Hope he does better soon .

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Look up Dr. Daniel Amen - he is amazing. Try to get him in to one of his clinics, they can help him. It may be more than anxiety and depression. Prayers for you all

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Apart from prayers, he definitely needs to see someone professionally who will know best how to approach it. Try Sister Julie Peters from the Franciscan Institute. She can recommend someone if she can’t take on the case herself, they are very good with addressing young people’s needs. There are online sessions available.

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Get him to do volunteering with small children at daycare centers, girls and boy clubs. Being needed and being a big brother to children can help him feel wanted and attention is positive. There are children and seniors citizens in hospitals or nursing homes who will appreciate visiting and someone to talk to. Good luck for good healing!

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He is in STRONG need of some Antidepressants and Psychiatric help ASAP

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Anxiety and depression are not something that can go away easily. Behavior therapy helps along with meds.

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Yes to everyone recommending therapy, what I would like to add and emphasize is he needs to ditch the weed. I know that people have all kinds of pro weed arguments but I’ve never heard anybody warn against side effects - my brother had a psychotic break after starting weed and has never completely recovered. Whenever he goes back to it he inevitably goes psychotic and has to be hospitalized.

If he is opening up to you he sounds like he’s ready for a change. It’s the perfect time as most 18 year olds are starting a new chapter in life. I would try and have him reconnect with a friend that he was very close with doesn’t have to be them hanging out every day just one day at a time. Try having him focus on working out it’s a great mental release and also releases endorphins that help with depression. The dermatologist can recommend helping with the sweating. I wouldn’t be so concerned with trying to get him off the pot till everything else starts to fall into place… sounds crazy to most ….but he’s self medicating. Hopefully once his life starts falling into place that will be something he chooses to stop doing on his own. Good luck momma! Stay strong.

I had my 1st anxiety attack when I was 5 ! In those days no one had heard about it Finallt got diagnosed at 21 given the best medication ever! It’s called Tranzene! You only take it when you feel you need to ! Not medicating him isn’t working! Get help

Start with a therapist, anxiety and depression medication will help, they aren’t narcotics, I’d stop the weed as it’s not a stimulant and he won’t get the munchies

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Try different psychiatrists and also a neurologist to see if the anxiety is organic. There are many medications to try. It takes 2 months to settle in. So side effects may ease by then.

Please get him some therapy. I had a nephew that was starting to show big signs of depression. He ended up dying by suicide. He used the drugs to do it but he left notes saying he wanted to die and was going to keep trying until he succeeded. Not trying to scare you. We all thought he would get over it. Dark times are hard to find light

You can start with taking his weed away from him. That’s not helping matters. Then start insisting that he join the family for meals. If he doesn’t come to the table, he doesn’t eat. It’s called tough love. Check out his medications and read up on their side effects. Make him sit in the living room instead of his bedroom. Make him engage with the family. Have him read instead playing games on a computer…Good luck…

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Excersize is the best medicine! Maybe get a Y membership and the two of you could work out together? I go 3 times a week, (even when I dont want to) and it makes a drastic difference in my mood and self esteem,i started off at 196 lbs in January of this year and I am now down to 153 lbs.Good luck to both of you :heart:

Medication could bring worse problems…sweating could be a sign of nervousness…look at diet…less carbohydrates less sugar.

He needs a good anti depressant. I recommend viibryd or pristiq. Viibryd is expensive because there’s no generic yet. He needs that so he can learn new behaviors. Therapy too.

He needs to stop smoking weed …he’s stoned a lot by the sounds of it and when stoned you get what can be called the munchies which won’t help him with his weight also smoking it can and does bring with it paranoia , he really needs to be off the weed if he’s spending the money you or dad gives him on it don’t give him money refuse

He needs to give up the weed as that makes you anxious x

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My grandson who lives with me is 12 and very anxious about school he has loads of friends but lately he doesn’t want to socialize he is on waiting list for counciling but is so long the school have been excellent its like he’s got a phobia he goes gets to gate and can’t go in at first we punished him but now I just talk to him and try to understand wish you luck with your son I’m sure he will get past this with help its not easy take carex

Your son is depressed. He need’s medication for that. Bullying destroys people and this is what started this. If he is overweight then for his health that needs to be dealt with too. Start with the depression and then the weight.

I run Grow Therapeutic Coaching please feel free to call even if its just for advice. We se lots of young people in the same position. You are not alone and he can be helped. Sending love xx

The doctors are the biggest drug dealers! You’ll move from medication to more medication maybe some counciling, short walks . Little steps to achieve big steps good luck!

Once he is of legal age all you will be able to do is decide how you will continue to let him live with you and provide for his financial needs. Consider what happens to him when something happens to you. Seek medical and psychological advice. He will likely be your dependent for many years to come and without a plan it will be challenging to both of you.

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My husband had the sweat problem. He just avoided doing things physical. I don’t know what the weed might be doing but I heard it makes you laid back and hungry.

I would seek therapy. Perhaps something happened. I’ve seen this with a young family member who switched schools for obe year and was bullied by a teacher. It changed her. It’s taken 6 years to get her back on track.

Following this as my son has bad social anxiety to. He does his work great as he is a support worker for special needs and he is comfy with them. When it comes to normal people its different. He knows he has a problem and has dealt with it for a year before I heard. He has a councillors and is on meds but getting the right meds is an on going thing. As suicidal thoughts are a side effect of some. He does not drink or do any drugs. He has no friends local. He speaks to someone in America who he playes on the xbox with. Which is the only reason I found out about it all as the friend was concerned and phoned my local police to check on him. It is so hard feeling you have failed your children and they can’t talk to you.

This is really hurtful for you and your family too. Did you ever think of going to family counseling as well as individual counseling? I would not dismiss medication under direction of a doctor. With his issues as of the present, I would not allow marijuana unless under the direction of a doctor. It would be like him everyday drinking a couple of beers when he is depressed. I just think it might be a way for him to escape his feelings. So I’d cut that out until under a doctor’s care.

My son has this. He quit school and got his GED in a smaller room as requested by physicist. Take him to therapist asap. Get help for him and yourself on how to help. My son is now working on a elderly center. Never imagined he could come so far. Weed is not good for his diognoise though.

Therapy is a good start. Also ask him to write three things that are important to him. Also have him write down goals he wants for his future and last how he can attain those goals.

Duromine is a dynamic depressant best not to be on it if he is low in mood.

Give him your love and supportlet him know you will always be there for him no matter what go out with him intermingle with people include him and ask for his opinion on things and how he feels

I have a son like him but hes 30…he doesn’t smoke weed thou…he has his bad days and has his good days…I just try to communicate with him as much as possible and yes hes on meds and no they really dont help much…seen many doctors

I have watched a lot of kids go through this. One of my friends son was like a hermit. I’m not sure I ever saw that boys face. He tuned out to be not only a computer specialist but a great techno music artist. Let them do their own things and they will find their niche.

Consult a doctor. People on Facebook are Medically trained or Educated to prescribe treatment. They can only share their experiences. Your son is an individual with his own psychological concerns. Praying for him and you,!

A good psychiatrist will check him out medically before going any further because many medical illnesses can cause psychological issues. Thyroid disease can cause anxiety, depression, etc., and can be difficult to diagnose. It can also cause symptoms that mimic hypoglycemia. The patient will feel weak, tremble, and sometimes sweat. These are symptoms of hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), that can be caused by thyroid disease. Other symptoms include constipation, joint pain, thinning hair/sparse eyebrows, weight gain or loss, depending on whether the patient is hyper or hypothyroid. Too many doctors rely only on tsh (thyroid stimulating hormone) numbers, but as one doctor told me, unless you’re having a burst of the thyroid hormone at the same time that they draw your blood, it won’t show up in your blood. We have a family history of thyroid disease so I have done a lot of research. I hope he can get the help he needs both physically and mentally. Having a medical problem that causes all those symptoms can lead to depression. I will keep your son in my prayers.

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That meds he’s taking is not good for him was he depressed before taking it if so he shouldn’t have been giving it my daughter took that it made he very depressed they had to take her off of it it made her depression worse just saying it my be the making it worse

Sounds like Depression. There are meds for this that help.

Take him on walk and talk with him and slowly ease things in. Weed isn’t enabling the depression it’s helping him cope with the anxiety. You said you know from experience how depression is maybe he just needs that one person to help pull him out of it. Besides anxiety isn’t just being in a room full of people it’s also waking up in time for things or remembering to eat or function daily things without judgment. It’s the brain throwing mixed emotions and with depression on top of it it’s hard feeling like nothing but a let down.

It’s Good he is reaching out to You, Get him a mental health therapist and make him watch the Good activities he had been involved in, like the YouTube he did, remind of his roles in his school programs, the party turn on and any other past events he was actively in. I believe he will be fine. I Wish him the Best.

I’m raising my granddaughter and I’m going thru the same thing but not drugs. Lives in her room, on phone and computer. Doesn’t want to socialize. She’s been getting therapy for the last 3 months but nothing is helping. She was always a happy little girl til the teen years arrived. I’m 70 years old and I haven’t a clue what to do. I’m just so :tired_face:.

You might look up Dr. Daniel Amen and his work with brain scans, ADD and other mental health issues. He’s got some great books and I think podcasts. He has been on PBS programs many times.

Please get him help now not later, have friends who’s son is 38 and he has the same problems and they are getting worse, and his parents have given up and he has no life now :frowning:please help your son now. Sending hugs and good vibes

First take him to his dr for a full medical work up. Be sure to tell the dr how serious his situation is. If his dr won’t help find one who can.

Weed can make depression worse in some people. That’s why I don’t do it regularly. Support groups are very helpful♡ maybe a support group for young adults?

It sounds to me something drastic must have happened to him, that’s why he changed. Get someone who he trusts to talk to him

I would contact a counselor my daughter went thru similar situation when she was in high school and we went to wheeler clinic first for evaluation and counseling …. Eventually seeking a counselor outside of wheeler ( bc of the change over in their staff) if ur still looking please PM me I have a wonderful lady my daughter loves … she will even do zoom, FaceTime sessions if not sure about in person sessions

Medication may be a good start to help him get back out into things, then maybe you can wean him off of it. At this point do whatever it takes to get him motivated. I don’t think the weed prevents him from doing anything, I don’t condone using it for recreation but medical reasons ok. That being said, I’ve worked with plenty who smoke it and have no issues being active and motivated

Have a small dinner party with a couple of his friends, at your house. Perhaps easing him back into social settings, in his familiar surrounds will help.

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You no sometimes the church help if you are welling to all the way just trying to help

My friend has a pot smoking thirty some odd year old still living at home. Dresses like a bum…he does work a job. Sounds like he needs help also.

Get off the weed
Could he have been assaulted? Sexually or physically beaten?
Please find a good therapist and talk to him every day
If need be, bring him to a hospital for a 72 hr hold to assess whether he’s considering suicide

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Write to Dr. Phil and explain your Son’s situation, who is giving your Son money so he can purchase the Weed? If it’s you then you need to install tuff love and don’t give him no more Money at all, take away his Gaming equipment and tell him it’s time to go out there and get a Job and lock his Bedroom door so he can’t sit in there all day and play games you need to change the things in your household

Could he be having panic attacks? My mother got them years ago. And never left the house. I was grocery shopping for our family at 16…. The pot would calm him down like Xanax.

Its been a really tough year for kids his age. Prayers peace love and light

My son had this and psychiatrist put him on Zoloft and dispersal. It worked. He is fine now

Sound like a drug issue driving personality change. An excellent free program available thru many churches and online is Celebrate Sobriety. Similar to AA but returned to Christian principals supported by Bible Verses. A great program with Broad application to the human condition. (sin.) Helps ppl who struggle with drug, alcohol, food, sexual addictions and codependency issues. I would also encourage medical evaluation if that’s an option.

he needs professional help, he’s already messed with his brain with the pot at such a young age, America has to see young teens need to stay off the natural herb till the brain is fully matured or we’ll continue with the dumbing down of America.

Is there fa he really likes? In addition to a psychiatrist can you find a hobby he likes? Fishing or climbing or horses or helping children or roller blading. What does he watch on tv? Find something he snd don’t worry about people. If he likes it enough people won’t matter and maybe he’ll start to teach out

I have it bad it runs my life I’m 66…

Its the Before adulthood time…when teens aren’t so sure what their Focus ought to be. School counsellors help teens look at their strengths/ weaker areas…with a more objective view. When parents “influence” his answers…it can feel he has to accommodate their vision of Who he is/what they think wd be a good fit. He ll need to dig around into what does make him move to some interest. I learned when some subject gets u Thinking about it…there is something about it that is speaking to your mind. You feel more intensely…so should investigate and get more info about it. Can lead to possible volunteering/ experience. I was shy…but worked at community TV studio…camera work…then production work. For bingo and a music video show. Maybe ur son has to try being in some other group. Small steps are to explore his Why. Sometimes we don’t know…but is worth doing a little Self push. Me…I ended up working w children. Language is a big part of doing that…shyness decreased. Strong feelings abt Children’s lives was followed. Went on teaching, and doing Rehabilitation work. Ur son will find his footing…like u …u got out of bed. Meds for depression do help up the serotonin. Family also recognizes he has to walk on his own to find out what does or doesn’t work for him.

I like weed, buy make sure its the right choice for what he needs it may be actually working against him or at very least look into finding a strain that is a better fit for him.

Get him work to go to if out of school, first thing to help him and the rest of his problems will get solved when he is out at work. To much time on his hands to be laying in a room all day.

Went tho this as well with son no help from school when I asked for it school didn’t send out covid home work they gave up on him and when he did go teachers pick on him and gave him hard Tim even tho school and I had an plain in place picked on him son dosent go to school now learning life schools out in real world now and working around farm at lest hes not getting into trouble and he’s happy

Sounds like he could be having panic and agoraphobia

There’s something’s ng going on.Have him go to counsler to get therapy.my daughter was like that.

He needs a mental health professional. Could be bipolar or schizophrenia.

Please have him checked for diabetes. My grandson had type 1 a long time before he was diagnosed. He was like your son in many ways.

Get him some mental help immediately. A LOT of young people have gotten depressed due to COVID. DON’T ignore it. TOO many young men & women take their lives bc they CAN’T deal with life. I wish him the best.

Everybody would like to sit around without any responsibilities. He will do just that if he is not forced to change. If you stop giving him money to buy weed, he will steal your money, or pawn items in the house, or steal from friends, family, or neighbors. Ask him who does he think will take care of him when you die? That will get him to thinking that he should make a change.

Has he been to the doctor lately and had blood tests, especially thyroid.

What did was I read the worry trick book it gives you excersises to do.it helped me I could not go in elevators or be around crowds or go in stores.

Constant weed smoking causes psychosis, l
letting him stay in his room and play games is part of the problem, botox can help with sweating, You need to stop enabling him. He won’t change because you’re allowing it to happen

Did this start around the time the dr put him on the medication? If so that could be part of the problem

A lot of the things he’s doing will definitely cause depression sitting at home not having any full feeling activities no social activism smoking weed is not a good thing for the development of your brain or for you to be enthusiastic about anyting you’re getting a lot of good comments on this post from others

The weed is Satan’s chain that he uses to clamp down hard on the mind. He needs to stop smoking

Weed can be a depressant to many people get him off it whether you put him in a rehab program or a hospital this has gone on too long Who supplies him money for weed and games? Does he work? He should be working

If he is not working how is he getting the weed? He needs to see a therapist asap.

Commercial grade weed is more than likely tainted with chemical stuff, beware of anything chemical he is consuming, get him on an organic regiment…

I’d try a clean diet before meds. Sugar addiction can mimic bipolar. :peace_symbol: