I need some advice: my daughter is 8, we have our struggles with her (lying, manipulating, etc.), but we’re aware of it, and we’re doing what we can to get control of it. Lately, she’s been hanging out with these friends who are NOT good influences. Specifically, the one girl who is a year or two older and has been known to steal money from her parents on more than one occasion (this was told to me directly from her mom, so it is not hearsay) and when my daughter was caught stealing gum at school, this friend said: “what’s the big deal, it was just a teeny tiny piece of gum?” She’s also looked me dead in the face and lied to me. ANYWAYS, What do I do about my daughter hanging out with this girl? I don’t want to offend the parents because they are very nice people from what I can tell, and I don’t want to say, “my child isn’t allowed to be friends with your daughter because she’s a bad influence,” but I also don’t want to leave it up to chance and just hope that eventually they naturally grow apart. My daughter doesn’t have many friends, so I can’t really distract her with different friends either and just hope this one goes away. I just feel like I’m at a loss. Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?
Nah I’d be honest with the parents, eff thier feelings you need to worry about your daughter not some grown folks feelings. Been down this road before and I dont care whos feelings I hurt in the process I gotta do what’s best for my child not thiers thats thier responsibility not yours
There’s nothing you can do to stop them from hanging out at school. You can control outside of school but during school hours, its up to her to make the right choices. Talk with her about why you think this girl isnt the best person to hang out with and let her decide.
Get her involved in other things where she can meet other kids. Soccer, Girl Scouts ect.
I mean no disrespect but…she needs you to be her mother, not her friend.
I have twin boys who are also 8 years old and I will say that I only read half of your post…no disrespect but your daughter is 8…so where is she having time to be hanging out with these so called friends???
Come on !!! Who’s the PARENT 
Maybe find another school to send her.
I completely understand my daughter was hanging out with a child I was not a fan of… but she was in her grade I made sure that they weren’t in classes together and thank god they grew apart… I had to talk to her about why hard conversation…I even had issues with the mom once…my daughter was invited to a bday party and we had family up from out of town and I said u can go to it but u need to have time with the family and the mother was offended…
You cannot do anything about school… but outside of school stick to a firm no for hanging out
When my daughter was younger I was in the same situation and when I told her that I did not want her hanging out with said “friend”, her answer to me was she is my friend and you have to respect me, my answer to her was I am your mother and I cannot control who you play with at school but in no way is she allowed in our home or you in hers or to get together outside of school
I explained to her all the reasons why this person was not a nice person, and one day she came home and told me that I was right and this person was not a very nice person and that she was not friends with her anymore.
We ended up moving a couple years after so they were not in the same school anymore anyways but she never went back to hanging out with said child after she realised for herself who this person really was
Ever thought about maybe your daughter is the bad influence??? Just a thought 
Its hard with kids, especially ones who arent really social with tons of friends. But she is 8 and u r the parent. U need to ensure she understands what is right and wrong behavior and enforce it. U have to b firm and resolute in this. If she steals, even just a piece of gum, she needs to b disciplined. If she lies, discipline. Whatever wrong she does u cant just blow off. I would also consider seriously talking with this girls parents. Not being mean but trying to find a solution that helps both of the girls. Its not easy. I raised 4 kids and had kids on both sides of that at one time or another. What i found is being consistent with the expectations for behavior and consistency when disciplining bad behavior works in the end. Its gonna suck. She gonna have fits. But this is what u have to do for the best interest of ur child
Ok nothing to do with this post lol but does anyone know where I’m able to send a fan question in at ?
The more you jump up and down or forbid it the more defiant and will want to hang out with her more … What u can do is when she is caught lying or stealing u can punish her take away devices ect
But u cant choose her friends as u said ur child doesnt have many friends how do u know that friend isnt the one who is her solid i got ur back friend ???
Just teach urs right from wrong. Ive had bad friends but they respected me enough to leave me out of the bad things, if i did get envolved its because i wanted the experiance & not hecause they pressured me into it. Being pressued into it & wanting to do r 2 differant things.
But dnt yell at urs if she chooses it, probly just sugest that itd mean yalld have to find someone for her to talk to.
Some of those bad influence friends parents, did thank me fod being their childs friend because even though they werent the best, the parents felt they were better ppl because of me.
Childs r just lil ppl with minds of their own, it sucks when yhey dont do things our way, but we can be the safe ppl for them to go to so that we can intervene when its over their head.
Have you ever considered that your daughter might be the bad influence?
I have a feeling that is the case.
Parent her.
Get her involved with a good youth group. Talk to the youth leader about your challenges. Make sure you take her to school, pick her up. No computer or tv in her room
No cell phone at night.
Make a contract with her. Let her express her rules for privileges so she feels on control but in reality your doing it together. List consequences with her if she disobeys the rules.
You and her both sign the contract.
Set weekly goals. Reward her accordingly.
Take her out and let her tell you what she doesn’t like about you. You listen.
Take her to a prison, hospital and funeral home.
Her choices determine her destiny.
I hope these suggestions help.
Read the Bible with her.
My advice to u would be if your daughter really likes this girl maybe you could talk to her parents and say my daughter really likes your daughter however I have some concerns as to some things thier daughter does and afraid it will rub off on your daughter what can we do to address this problem. Explain about the stealing of gum it could lead to bigger things. They r only.8 years old they may even drift apart with age. But for.now that’s my advice good luck
You can’t control who your children click with and choose to hang out with - what you can do is teach your kids morals & respect. Children aren’t puppets for you to control - they are little people for you to love and teach.
When I pointed out to my mom that she couldn’t control my friends she reminded me that she could and would come sit beside me everyday at school if need be.
You are the parent. If she is under socialized put her in clubs, extracurricular, or social support groups but do not ever think that you do not have the power and authority to tell your eight year old that she is not allowed to do something. It is your responsibility to make her a productive member of society and wringing your hands about bad influences at eight instead of managing it is going to lead to wringing your hands that she’s pregnant at thirteen, addicted at sixteen, and locked up at nineteen. You have to teach her boundaries and enforce them for her if she doesn’t have the capability to do it herself.
This should be done and accompanied with massive amounts of communication and patience but you’re the grown up. If you aren’t strong enough on your own, enlist professional services from your local behavioral/mental health center and nip this in the bud before it becomes too large for you to handle. This will help you learn to be concrete and effective, her to learn the tools to make good choices, and an outside observer to determine if she’s the follower or the leader because they’re two totally different sets of problems. I’m saying this as a behavioral clinician, it isn’t controlling your kids to step in and make choices for them when they are unable to do so for themselves, its parenting. You have given her options to make her own good choices and she has demonstrated that she is unable. Now is the time to start limiting those choices and explaining the consequences of her decisions. You don’t have to beat her or even raise your voice to be an effective parent, but you do have to have boundaries that you are willing to enforce or she’ll end up as a file across the desk of someone like me anyway, likely with a court order.
And talk to the other girls parents with both girls present. Stop shielding them from who she may be or your daughter from being contradicted if she’s being dishonest. Get to the bottom of it and explain in front if all four of them that this isn’t who you want your daughter to be, you hope it isn’t who they want theirs to be, and show the girls you’re all on the same page. If they can’t be on the same page with you, that may be a good indicator that your daughter shouldn’t associate with them anyway.
You are the parent. She can only hangout with kids you let her hangout with. So don’t let her.
She’s 8… put some rules on it.
You’re the boss, do your job
Shes 8…BE HER MOTHER! WHO IS THE PARENT YOU OR HER? Stop trying to be her friend she has enough of them. Who cares if she gets mad. She will get over it.
First thing, she’s 8. Don’t allow her to hang with this person
You need to get on that backside. Spank her, take away electronics, ground her, take away snacks, special items etc. You can’t blame the little girl for your daughter’s behavior. My kids 10 and 8 KNOW at the end of the day they take them consequences not who ever influenced them. She’s only 8. How are you going to handle her as a teen? I’m a MOTHER 1st and a friend 2nd. Buckle down on your kid.
At school your SOL when she’s home you have the power to say who she’s hanging out with.
You need to make her understand she is a child.You are the parent.Get help for her.She is way to young for this.
You’re responsible for raising your kid how you feel is right, not for the feelings of the other girl’s parents.
Let her be friends with her at school or only in your home dont let her go to her house or out with her. If she already doesn’t have many friends dont take 1 away just keep tabs on it. Explain to your daughter why its not ok to do these bad things and that the other little girl will get in trouble even face jail. My 9 yr old is smart enough to understand this. She went through a stealing phase when she was 7-8 shes better now but I still catch her taking my things or things from my moms usually make up lol I would just keep my eyes on them
Or you just teach your daughter wrong from right and not blame someone else’s child for your child’s unruly behavior. Wanna know why I dress like such a goth now? One because I want to, and two because I grew up in a home where it was entirely to strict and I wasn’t allowed to wear what I want. Kids go through phases, clothes, friends, etc. your child will learn through personal experience that she shouldn’t hang out with that crowd. The moment you say she isn’t allowed to hang with her is the moment your daughter will start sneaking around your back to see her. Just be honest with her, let her know there are consequences to actions and that if she isn’t careful she can get into trouble for them. That if she’s caught stealing that she can get into trouble with the law if someone reports them. Wanna scare your child? Remind them that this world isn’t rainbows and butterflies so when they get old enough they know how the real world works. I’m not saying throw your child to the wolves, I’m just saying don’t handicap your child by overly sheltering them. Xoxo
Your the parent, she is the child. Children dont always see what we see. Be the parent she is doing her job as a child. You do yours as a parent. In everything you do.
If you force her to stop being friends with the other girl she will resent you for a while, that is a choice you will have to make. In the meantime don’t let them be alone, chaperone them everywhere they go but school. When you daughter copies the bad behaviors punish her, if she repeats it punish her more harshly, and more harshly every time she does the bad thing. Get her involved in wholesome group activities, like sports, dance, scouts, 4-H, whatever is in your area. Make sure she understands bad behaviors have consequences which sadly many parents fail to teach this day and age.
I can definitely tell you you need to nip this in the butt from the start. I had a friend when I was in high school that my mom seen was headed down a bad road I thought she was wonderful I hung out with her but got into trouble whenever I was with her my mom told me there’s no way you’re hanging out with her anymore I can’t control what you do at school but you will not be allowed to hang out out of school. Years ago by and she Got into heroin and other hard drugs and also did drugs while She was pregnant. Which in turn led her baby to have all kinds of health issues. I don’t care what anybody says moms have that intuition and if you feel like this girl is not good for your daughter do not let her continue to hang out with her people should surround themselves with people who are good for them no matter the age but when she’s younger it’s your responsibility to help her make those decisions because she’s too immature to do so
So…who’s the bad influence? The girl or your daughter? Seems like you are putting blame on the other little girl when your daughter is just as Manipulative. Be a mother and Discipline your child. Maybe she wouldn’t be a bad influence herself.
I had this with my daughter but my daughter was around 13 at the time she was wagging lessons running away from home an the teachers all said she is being lead a stray by the girls she was hanging around with but i always replied bk with No my daughter isnt being lead a stray she is happily plodding along with them she knows right from wrong i raised her to have her own mind i told her i will allow her to still be friends with the girls in question as long as she keeps her self out of trouble not gonna lie had a rough year with her but now thingd are great an she still hangs around with the girls but wen they want to wag school or get them selfs in trouble my daughter walks away as she knows the trouble she wud be in with me shes 16 now so alot older then ur girl my point is maybe sit an have a talk with ur daughter doesnt matter if u are the bestest mum in the world or the worst most kids do go thru stages in their lifes where they lie or get in trouble. Wish u all the best x
Okay so the kid is 8 years old right. And you’re the parent right. then that means you have the right to say this friendship is over goodbye! I’ve already done it to my daughter now twice! Sorry but she’ll understand later on why I did what I did! For now I have to approve these friends and after my experiences, I have to approve the parents as well. Your child comes first, no matter what or person or friends!
I understand you can’t control who she is around at school. But she needs to be taught the real consequences of stealing. Punish her good. For like a month and stick to it
Crack that whip put your foot down your the mother and your the boss not her
Really, you say to your daughter that she is NOT under any circumstance to hang out with this child! Where exactly does an 8 year old hang out anyway?
Beat that butt, show her who’s boss. Be a parent that’s what your suppose to do.
A trip.to the sheriff.office the both of them before it gets out of control.
You need to set ground rules. The “friend” can only be with your daughter at your house & when you’re there to supervise. Introduce yoir daughter to a different set of kids. Get her into social groups, she’s young enough that the girls shouldn’t be in clicks yet. There are groups at religious institutions, cities have groups, look around. Get her involved in activities, dance, art, sports, she’ll meet other kids & hopefully make other friends there.
Lord she is 8 put your foot down. You better get control of it now.
She’s 8!!! Just don’t let her. This can’t be real
I love kids and I have always gone down to their level to try and figure out why they do what they do. I have influenced more children than I can count-you could be her influencer all while teaching your daughter what is acceptable behavior what it takes to be a good human. Get the girls involved in giving back-esp this time of year! Make xmas decorations to donate to a shelter.
When I was 12 , my mum didn’t like a friend of mine and told me point blank she didn’t want me associating with the girl and she told me either I end it or she would tell my friend to stop coming by. This friend of mine ended up dropping out of school at 13 and my mum wouldn’t keep quiet about how mums know if someone is a bad influence on you. You’re the mum, you have no obligation to the other girls parents because there are good people. Your duty is making sure your daughter turns out great . End that relationship, ground her for bad behavior. May we please stop trying to be cool parents and know in certain situations don’t try to be your child’s friend!!!
I would not let her be friends with this girl and I would not care what they thought about it. She will have lots of friends over the years you do not like and as she gets older that will be alot harder for you to have control over. Trust your Momma gut feeling and draw a hard line as long as you can.
Whew…you are in for a rocky ride. You need to think about the fact that your child (the one that lies and manipulates) may well not be welcomed to play with other children, which may be why there aren’t lots of friend options.
You need to not worry about the other kid, and give 100% of your attention to developing your daughter’s character.
She doesn’t need time with friends. She needs one on one time with you. Lots of it.
If you tell your daughter she cant be friends with someone you are just pushing her to do so and be sneaky about it. Outside of school just be busy that day, todays not a good time to hang out.
There is a good chance they will grow apart on their own especially with an age difference. Best of luck.
Your child comes
First it’s not what others think. Also remember teach your child the difference of wrong n right good n bad and every wrong or bad has consequences. Let her know when she knows something is not right it’s okay to say no and ignore peer
Pressure. Also most
Important be CONSISTENT with your discipline. If you feel the two girls are not good to be together, then your the parent separate them and maybe a year or two down the road you can revisit it!!!
Eight years old & doing all this is very dangerous. You need to be strong & let her know this will not be tolerated ever. Ground her. Don’t be her friend. Structure is what she needs. This is not a good time for you I know because I’ve been there…Hang in there…
I have an 8 year old as well…and wow! Not only is it ok to say no, but very necessary! She needs structure and she needs to know that behavior like that is unacceptable.
My daughter simply is not allowed to choose “bad company”. I always explain my reasons for saying no, she might not like it or even understand it all the time, but she accepts the rules and follows them too.
In my opinion this has something to do with respect for one another. If you want her to respect your decisions and follow the rules, she needs to know that you respect her as a human being.
Spend time with her, get her involved in a team-sport. That is a great way to regulate her freetime, without her realizing it. My girl plays field hockey and loves to be on the field up to 3 times a week.
Draw the line now. You need to nip this in the bud. Who cares what the parents think. You need to go to them, present the problem and tell them your daughter will no longer be allowed to be friends with their daughter. If they are who you hope they are they won’t want their daughter acting like that. Perhaps they dont know. You might find they dont realize and can deal with their daughter. In the long run your daughter is most important. Also, just know if you dont handle it now at 8…you wont have a chance with her and boyfriends. I have 5 daughters. 24, 22, 18, 17, and 12. Dealt with way more than my fair share but am still standing, 
!
I have a 9 year old daughter and I don’t mean to be insensitive to the OP but how is your 8 year old able to hang out with someone with out your permission? I get that they may see each other at school but you have full control of what happens outside of school.
IMO, you need to be the parent and not worry about this other girls parents or anyone else’s feelings, you can’t be everyone’s friend. As a mom you have to make the hard calls, you have to be your children’s guide. And if you feel that your child shouldn’t be around someone, trust your gut, woman up, set the boundaries and stand your ground on them.
First of all you need to figure out why she is behaving like so. There are alot of factors that can cause children to act out.
A theory maybe your daughter is struggling with self esteem. Maybe that friend makes her feel safe and makes her feel good because she is one of a few friends she has.
I suggest therapy to get to the root of it.
Honestly, I would put her in character development things such as taekwondo or whatever else is around you. I would also have her speak to her doctor or a psychiatrist, maybe there is something she’s going through she wont tell you. Make her accountable. I wouldn’t necessarily worry about the other child, they may be having the same conversation about your child. Focus on her.
I had a couple of bad friends when I was in 7th grade. My parents made me not see them anymore. I was a pretty easy kid so I did listen. I’m glad that I did because one of them is still trouble. She is pretty young too so I would definitely talk to her about not hanging out with friends like that.
I had a similar experience. My child is 7, and is the only child and not a lot of kids around us, but this one kid in our street, this kid is very aggressive, potty mouth, I didn’t tell my child that they couldn’t be friends, but I keep my child busy, after school he goes to Tutoring and the Karate class. And if the other child asks my son to play, they must play at my house.
Um. She is 8. You don’t allow her to hang out with her. You make the rules. You decide where she goes and what she does. And when she does something wrong, you punish her. I have a 9 year old. No, I can’t control who she is with in her class but I can and do control who she is with outside of school. Because I am mom and she is 9. You are the parent. She is a CHILD!!! She doesn’t get to make choices. And all yall thinking she should be able to make choices, need to learn how to be a parent and not a friend. This generation of kids do not stand a chance if parents won’t grow a pair and be adults.
This sounds like maybe its not just their daughter but yours, too. And I’m not just saying that. My parents used to think my friends were bad influences but I can tell you right now I was doing a whole lot my parents had no idea about so they just always assumed it was my friends faults. Maybe get together with her parents and explain that your children should spend some time apart because your child is acting out as well instead of placing blame. Best of luck to you! Some kids are just spit fire. Spend time with her and keep her busy. My parents didn’t and that was a huge mistake.
If she’s 8 she should be around other 8 year olds. If she starts hanging with kids older than her it will just get worse. Take it from someone that knows. When she is a sophomore and starts hanging with seniors you will regret not stopping it earlier.
She needs to be busy succeeding at something in life. Successful, happy people don’t follow others into crime. I don’t know what her interests are but encourage them. Encourage her and keep her busy whenever possible.
My husband and I always say it isn’t about the other child it’s about ours. We have to raise them to be able to make the right choice when presented with the wrong one. There will be many people on her life that aren’t a great influence and many you won’t know. Use this friendship as a tool to guide her to make the right decisions. Being friends with the wrong people isn’t always the wrong thing. Sometimes if your child learns to make the right decisions they may inadvertently help that child learn to do so as well. The easy answer will always be to keep your child away but that won’t teach them anything. The wrong people and the wrong decisions will always be there. Make it about her and less about them.
Don’t allow her
She’s of an age- you make decisions
Get her involved in an activity that has positive roll models
Be busy when the older girl calls for her
Actually say that she’s younger than you and she’s too old to play with your daughter
I would just not allow them to hang out and explain why and what your concerns are. There’s nothing wrong with that. She’s 8, it would be harder if they were 13 or something but I wouldn’t count on them growing apart naturally because you don’t in the meantime want to give the impression it’s appropriate or acceptable to hang out with someone who is stealing and lying. If she’s lying and you know you shouldn’t be allowing her to interact anyway until she is being more honest because that’s the consequences of breaking trust. If my adult husband was lying and hanging out with someone who is stealing and putting his life and future at risk I’d have consequences for him if he continued hanging out with them . At 8 she has even less ability to make well thought out decisions or think long term. Reminds me of the friends in the Slenderman case. By no means am I saying they’ll end up attempted murderers but it can go downhill fast with the wrong influences and have very bad repercussions
Maybe have them only together when you or the other parents are around. Make it a habit to hang out with them encourage them to cook or something. Take them somewhere where you can all spend time together. Their best remodels are us. Give them your time and show them how they should act and treat other. Give them little tidbits of advise not being overbearing. The best thing you can do is help them both become people you want others to be around! Best of luck!
Oh and you can most definitely make sure to go to the school and make sure they are not in the same class, try to separate them even there. It’s 2nd grade not middle school or high school, so obviously if they aren’t in the same class then they shouldn’t see much of one another.
You’re the parent.
Your child isn’t.
Don’t be afraid to discipline her.
That’s not normal behavior for an 8 year old.
If you don’t get a hold of it it now, it’s gonna to be worse as the years go.
She’s 8 and the answer is quite simple…you be the parent and simply tell her no. You really don’t need to tell the parents anything. You can’t control the school setting but you can control who she’s with outside of school.
She is 8 years , who is in control ? You have the power . You control who she spends time with . If she is easily influenced find a good example for her to spend time with . Spend more time with her have fun reward her for good behavior . Keep her busy .
How can she hang out with anyone without your permission? If the other child is doing things that are inappropriate, like stealing, it’s probably a good idea to let her parents know. Bottom line, you are in charge of your 8 year and decide who she does/doesn’t hang out with.
She’s 8 and behaves this way then you need to get control of this NOW. I wouldn’t care who’s feelings I hurt tbh, just be honest with the mother. They’re both bad influences on each other.
Let me tell ya as a parent of a child with behavioral problems, I’ve been taught a lot over the years how to deal with a lot of these issues and still do at 15. Tough love. U let her hang out with ever she wants now , let me tell ya u will have a hard time getting her to respect ur rules in the future
I’m not an expert but I feel 8 is pretty young for that kind of behavior. I have 3 kids. 2 boys and 1 girl. The girl is 10. She is still in the kid stage. She wants to play outside, do art, and play games. I have not had any issues with her like the ones listed…yet. I feel like those would be more teenage issues.
However, my kids are not allowed to go anywhere without me yet. If they want to hang out with a new fried they do it at my house. I personally would spend more 1 on 1 time with her. Put age appropriate punishments in place and stick with them 100 percent.
It’s lockdown so school then home this is your time to spend with her tell her how you feel they will drift apart as your daughter will make new friends when she moves up in school she is 8 still a child talk with the other girl and her parents she might be bullying your daughter or maybe she wants to feel needed maybe she is having problems at home maybe her parents don’t make time for her and that’s why she steals from them look outside the box it’s not all black and white good luck
I have a 5year old daughter, she have friends older than her that has an Attitude problem, I never told her stop playing with them, but what I do is to keep informing her and make her knowledgeable of what is Right and what is Wrong. So even if she sees her girl friends doing something wrong she’s not copying it. 
She’s eight. Use your mom rader. Dont make it into war from this age. What will you do when she’s 16. Start talking to her. Have two-communication. Is she lying because she’s afraid to tell the truth? Kids aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. I find that lots of love helps build a bond and then they will listen. Bring her friends home. Give your opinion on the good ones and the not so good ones. This will help her choose.
Your daughter absolutely needs to be pulled from this friendship. I would seek out some counseling for her, as well. She is still very young and you are in control of who she is hanging out with(besides school). She needs to be told that that friendship is not healthy and not going to work out at this time. Do not back down. This is not the time to have mommy guilt…she absolutely needs to be pulled from this friendship. Immediately. She is struggling enough and does not need to be pulled further in a scary direction.
Seriously she’s EIGHT! She hangs out with who you allow her to hang out with. It’s very easy to control, you just don’t let her hang out with the girl. It’s not a nice contest, screw how the girl’s parents feel. The fact that an 8 yr old is lying and manipulating is definitely the bigger problem! My daughter is 15 and I’ve yet to ever catch her in a lie, and at 8 she wouldn’t have even known how to lie. You better be the parent and straighten her ass out quickly before it gets worse and her behaviors progress.
Talk to her, keep the lines of communication open. But let her know stealing, lying, etc are not acceptable behavior. Tell her you will give her and the other girl another chance. Also, since the other Mom admitted her daughter has done wrong, talk to the Mom about working together on this problem. But after a reasonable amount of time, the undesirable behavior still happens, then no more contact.
Why don’t both you and the other mother tag team these two? They both are rebelling and what better plan than both of you being on the same page. When they are caught, punish them both!
Easing a child is not about picking who her friends are, it is about teaching them to be strong enough to make the right choices. You need to sit down and talk to her about what is happening and why it is wrong. She is always going to meet people you do not approve of. You have to be able to trust she can make that distinction also.
I think it might be a good idea to explain about consequences. One of the things that I usually ask my son when he does something inappropriate it’s if he has seen his daddy or I do such a thing. Then I often ask him if he thinks he deserves to be punish, often times he chooses a harsher punishment than what I had in mind.
Umm ok idk if im perceiving this wrong or what, but you have a young child (8 yrs old) who HANGS out w the wrong crowd??? To me thats saying they run the streets unsupervised… If thats the case then part of your issue is you’re not controlling your own… And quite frankly esp in this world now you may want to bring your own parenting style into question if you’re believing this world is anything like it was when we were kids and that shes safe out there alone!!! You cant pass judgement on just one of them when they’re both exhibiting negative behaviors… This is like an “it takes one to know one” situation… As well as a “guilty by association” even. So if you dont want your own daughter to become what you say this other girl is or to be known as what you’re expressing this other girl to be now, then youll do we you need to to keep that from happening and/or HELP her find her path in a more positive constructive way.
Oh gosh I did at that age my parents dragged me to the police station and they showed me what will happen if I steal again
I would NOT allow her to continue her friendship with the older girl. Explain to you daughter that the child does things that are against your values and unless she changes her ways they can not be friends and play together. Also get your daughter involved in groups that you approve of.
Tell your Daughter to be a leader not a fowller always pound that in her head . Tell her to Put God first in her life . Put her in activities/sports Dance , music , soccer . Keep her so busy that she doesn’t have time to spend with the girl . Take her to church & get her involved in the church’s youth group . Get her in counsling threw her pediactrican . Sometimes having someone to talk to other then a parent helps . Always tell her how much you love her & how smart funny & gorgeous she is . Make a day where its a Momma & Daughter day & make her feel aprecatied . Keep her so intertained doing other things that she just want have time to spend with the other child . I wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t be frieands with her because that’s just going to make her want too . Never know maybe your Daughter’s goodness will actually help the other child . At the end of the day you just have to have faith in your child that she will do good in life . Model her to be a strong indapendant Woman .
One of my moms friends did this when her son stole and lied…
Made him spend the weekend in the bathroom with no entertainment. Meals were brought to him. She said if he was gonna act like a criminal she would treat him like one. He was around the same age. He is now married with kiddos of his own after being in the military.
Try to spend more time with her to get her attention on something else this other child may be showing her a lot of attention that’s she may not be getting at home if this is not the case then find some type of activities to get her involved in like sport she will find better friends and it will be a better ENVIRONMENT for her
Just tell her she is not allowed to be friends with those kind of girls… I have told my 14 y.o. son that and he respects my advice and hasn’t talked to the kid since we had issues and his behavior has improved drastically… And as far as school goes talk to the teacher and principal and let them know that you have had issues and don’t want your daughter around said person and they will keep them separated…
This child is 8?!?! What is this world coming to? You can’t choose her friends but you definitely have the ability to limit the interactions anytime she’s not in school or whatever semi controlled environment where they interact
Offend the parents nip it in bud now show your child now that it is not ok. Sadly I didnt follow my own advice tried to convince myself my daughter was a good kid we had provided a good enough foundation yeah no I wish I had a do over but i dont so trust me nip in bud NOW
Give her some activities after school such as books to read or any subject she could do extra in. Take away social media influence. Spend more one on one time with her. Her behavior might be a reflection of a bully at school.
I think we have to stop looking at hurting other people’s feelings when deciding what to do with decisions that can help or harm ourselves and children. Stop worrying about these parent. Why not get her away from this girl by doing something not so outright. Like having one of your friends with a kid come over try to get her to become friends with other people maybe put her in a group or social setting around the area.
Enrol her in a sport group or singing/art etc. Give her rewards for going there and speak highly of her always. Do not compare her friends, like in front of her, ignore them. Slowly she will start to like the new enviroment and she may not have time for them afterwards. In the case of any art or sport …it becames a way of life and she may like it. Hopefully she, by herself, will refuse her old friends because the new ones are cooler. Good luck!
If you have to tell them anything at all tell them the girls are not good together. Partners in crime so to speak. But you need to only worry about what you have the control of your child and remember until she’s grown you’re in control.
In my humble opinion and in the midst of raising 16, 18 and a 20 year old and it’s HARD —-- Honestly at age 8 - right now you know where they are and can keep them busy. Start teaching her that she will be judged by others by the company she keeps. Be careful with insulting her friends. Never goes well. Just limit contact without calling her friend out. Teach her to surround yourself with people that are “better” than you. That support you being a better person. I would also suggest you being careful and practicing what you preach. Set good examples about being a good person. They learn more from that than they do by anything we “tell” them. They will get it 
My daughter was hanging out with the wrong crowd in 6th and 7th grade. I explained that I was uneasy about her friends and would prefer if they played at our house. When my daughter got in trouble at school (guilt by association), I explained that that’s what happens when you choose who you are around and it happens all through life. She eventually found another group of friends when she started trade school in 11th grade but it was a rough road until then. Forcing her to choose other friends will only push her closer to the bad ones. You could also explain that you’d like her to stay paving her way in the world as a leader. Have her come up with positive things to do and invite her friends to join under your supervision.
Also, my daughter was a lier and manipulator. She was always trying to “protect” or “help” when she would lie. What does your daughter lie and manipulate about? Find her “currency”. Find her reasons. And help her turn her lies and manipulation into positives and motivation. Let her know the truth will always come out and no matter what she’s done that you’re a safe place to fall.
With my daughter I had to stop all communication and being around the other girl, COMPLETELY. I had to protect my daughter at ALL cost. It’s taking A LOT of work with my daughter