I was in a situation like this . My ex had a drug problem and kept stealing from me and spent my checks on his addiction so it made it hard to pay bills and take care of our kids. Once I finally got away he became his family’s problems and I no longer struggle. It only took my six years to leave …
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No you would not be a bad mom. Time to cut her off before she bleeds you dry
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Stop giving her money. You keep giving it to her and she’ll be pregnant and you’ll be supporting them and a baby for the rest of your days. Let her get a job and grow up
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Stop giving her money please! It will be going on his drugs and drink 
xxx
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STOP you are just enabling them!
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Definitely stop handing over money
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Seriously? How is this a question? Your supporting your daughters boyfriends habit but want her to know hes no good? Ummm…
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right…cut off the money…not your job to pay for this loser…
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Good luck. It’ll never happen.
Yeah stop enabling him. Tell her she can move in with you & her needs will be met
her & kids only. If she takes you up on it write out a lease of responsibilities & rules including that she have no contact with him
Encourage her to see a counselor, preferably a domestic abuse counselor. If she refuses maybe a pastor or family friend can help her see he’s hurting her?
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Only reason he does that is because he knows your back them up by giving her money to get them what they need, your actually feeding his habits and who knows probably hers aswell.
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Stop giving money and let her figure it out.
Honestly, stop giving it to her. Only then will she see how bad off he is at this point. The more you give, the more he does.
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Stop giving her money if she needs money for food tell her she can always come home for dinner etc… if she needs money for rent tell her to move back home with you but theres no room for the boyfriend
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Your being a enabler by giving her money every week. Sadly your not helping her by giving her money. You can’t do anything to make her leave him shes just guna have to learn the hard way like everyone else 
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I mean. (Don’t know how old she is). But when I would ask my mom for money. She would tell me if I wanted money to work for it. Andso your the mama. You tell her if she wanted money. To find a job. And start working for it. And about that bf of hers I would tell her to cut him off. Or else she could turn like him. And I know as a mom I wouldn’t want my kids turning in to him.
You shouldn’t… You are enabling her to support his bad habits
Money is going for his drugs and alcohol
Buy her what she needs
Have her make a list of money she has given him
Take her to alanon or similar support group
Have to let her see it for herself
Stop giving her money. You’re not a terrible mom for saying no, especially if you know he’s doing illegal stuff.
Shes an adult, no longer your responsibility to support her. She’ll figure it out.
You can’t force it. I was with an addict for 5 years before waking up and realizing I needed to leave, although my family wanted and knew it should have happened earlier. Nothing they could have done would of made a difference. She will realize on her own time unfortunately
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stop enabling her and cut that money shit off she wanna be w a bum let her see how it would relly be cant do nothing but love her shes an adult shes gonna make mistakes
Wtf? You are enabling her. Act pissed off and say no. If she want money that bad she can ask her boyfriend for it. Tell her if he really loves her he will support her financially then cut her off and change your locks honey.
You giving her money is enabling him. If they get evicted, offer her a home but make conditions that he can not be in your home. She will eventually see it. But don’t push the fact that he is bad. Girls like things they can’t have. Just support her from the background and let her know you are there for her, but not him.
Stop giving her money mama
No more money at all
Absolutely stop enabling her to enable his drug and alcohol habits. It’s literally causing heartache for you and her both. I pray that she finds the strength to leave and knowing that even though she loves him, she needs to love herself more. I hope he can get help and turn his life around. Be strong for her momma!
Why are you enabling this addicts bad habits? I don’t know how old your daughter is, but, if she’s 18, you should not be giving her money.
No way you’ll make her see he is bad for her. Just stop giving her money.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make my daughter see her boyfriend is not good for her?
The more you push her to not like him, the more she will. I wouldn’t give her any money to support his habits.
Been there done that!
You can’t control what she does unfortunately, but you can stop enabling so she can learn. You should not be paying for a drug and alcohol addiction either way. If she cannot see the problem, you’ll have to let her learn her own lesson when the time comes. Be there for her of course, but don’t enable either of their behavior. Good luck
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My parents at the age of 16 told me (I was in abusive, controlling relationship, with a guy that cheated multiple times with phones I gave him. Will working and going to school) they told me straight up one day “it’s either us or him”. Us you stay here living with us and break it off. Or him and you leave with your belongings now and become an adult. I clearly struggled and felts horrible but I’m happy my parents pushed me. Because 1 year later after I changed schools to help me also. I meant my now fiancé’s been together for 14 years we have two kids and kids and a beautiful house. If this doesn’t help because 16 year old girls I remember are a pain in the 
( got a hidden side tattoo, tongue piercing and nose piercing) it’s hard to make us see the truth, you can always take her to women abuse groups to hear story’s, volunteers at drug center, homeless or women center. Or the movie “enough” with jlo was a nice preview
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Make sure she knows she has a safe space at home. And also express to him that he does too, sober. (If you can) also maybe see if he wants help. If he does, ask why. If he gives a good answer, like for her. Maybe help them find him treatment. But no more money. And just be honest, say you cannot contribute to him killing himself. And no matter where the money is going you feel like that is the place it falls eventually.
Stop giving her money, instead point her in the direction of taking on another job if she needs money that badly. Let her know your door is ALWAYS open to her, and her ALONE but you can’t keep giving her money. You may need to allow her to hit rock bottom before she sees the truth.
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Don’t help her with her habits. But otherwise you can’t really say anything without pushing her away. Make it KNOWN you don’t like him will not let him at your home and whatnot. My mom decided a friend wasn’t good for me, and grounded me constantly to try and keep me away from her. That friend has become my MAIN support system in my life with my new daughter. I am closer to her then my mother. Ik it’s not the same situation but trust me. It pushes them away when you get too forceful.
No you would not be. Given money is enabling and I know how hard it is to say no because I have been there with my own child. She needs a wake up call to see what she is experiencing with him is toxic and that’s not going to happen if she has you to fall back on financially sadly
Unfortunately. You won’t be able to until she is finally ready to see that for herself.
If you bring it up to her a lot, it may push her away
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Time to stop giving her money. Let her see what’s it’s like to go without. I know it’s hard, tough love is never easy. She will thank you later.
Stop enabling their habits and maybe then she will see
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Do everything you can to keep her away from him. She will ruin her life and yours.
No more help other than listen no comments back to her
My advice use to be thats your child you love to help but now I would say your only enabiling him to buy and use drugs and her to learn from any mistakes she is making. Mom pull away and let them make thier own way.
No monies but love and she is welcome to eat rest at your home as as she is sober
You need to stop right now, this day, this hour, this minute.
Is stop giving money it’s most likely going to him anyway
Yes stop don’t give her any money that’s just enablerling her to stay
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Well how old is your daughter? Sounds like an adult possibly?
A grown women needs to figure out on her own her man is no good. She’s not going to stop seeing him because her mom don’t like him. Stop giving her money to help her out and let her see how broke she really is with a man who drinks and smokes his cash away.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make my daughter see her boyfriend is not good for her?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I make my daughter see her boyfriend is not good for her?
Instead of giving her money. If you want save it somewhere so hopefully when she finally realizes and wants to leave him you can help her get out when she’s truly done. Depending on the situation (I’ve been there) your to afraid to be on your own and not knowing where you will go next but you need to stop enabling the behavior
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You cannot make her see anything. She had to see it on her own. What you can do, is not enable her to enable him. Stop with the handouts. If she needs to eat, feed her, if she needs gas money, meet her at a pump. You can help her, without helping her help him. Also, if she doesn’t want to help herself, maybe you should stop all together. Remind her how much you love her, but also she has to make her own choices. With our choices come consequences. We’re free to choose, but never free from the consequences of our actions. She needs to feel this for herself.
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Well first stop giving her one dollar !! He will most likely not be around if he just with her fir money … you would be a great mother by not enabling her !!! The more you protest the more she try to be with him !! Telll her she can make her own decisions but you won’t support her boyfriend any longer period and do not cave in !!!
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Absolutely stand up to her, by giving her money you have become the “enabler”.
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If she needs food etc and you want to help go buy her the food.
Unfortunately she needs to learn on her own that his no good for her.
My father in law is in the same position. He was living with his daughter. We moved him in with us. He is now demanding they pay him back and if they don’t they know the consequences
You can’t make your daughter see her boyfriend is bad for her - she has to work that one out for herself. You can dish out some tough love though & STOP the handouts!!! Also let her know you’ll be there for her when she comes to her senses, but not until then.
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You’re enabling her behavior of choosing to stay with him. By giving her money you are creating a positive balance for them to keep living the way they do. Take the positive away, and she will see it for what it is. She needs to see the hell for what it is to hit rock bottom and make her own decision to leave. My mom has been going through this with my sister for 10 years now.
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Stop enabling her relationship. Don’t give her anythjnv remotely associated with money. Support her and give her your love snd be there for her when she wakes up snd falls. It will happen one day
As hard as it is, you gotta let her learn for herself. The more you try and convince her he’s wrong for her, the tighter she’ll cling.
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You might push her away into something worse if you’re not careful
Unfortunately you can not… She has to see it for herself.
I am speaking from personal experience of my mom trying to tell me over and over again.
I pushed to be with the person harder because I wanted to prove my mom wrong. And it ended badly… Courts, CPS, loosing everything, including the relationship with my mom, and my children, My mental health.
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I would definitely cut off financial support. I would also seek counseling for myself to be able to cope with how her relationship is going and possibly also to help her. Be there for her and keep encouraging her. It’s so hard to break away from situations like this.
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Don’t support her financially, and stop telling her to get rid of the guy,she is in love and can’t/won’t listen. Your daughter will stay with him untill SHE’S HAD ENOUGH of his reckless behavior.
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You are being an enabler. Giving to her knowing what she is doing with the money is not good. Hopefully she’ll wise up before it’s too late.
You can’t make her see what she doesn’t want to see. I’m sure she’s giving him that money to support his habit so stop giving her money.
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You cannot make her see for herself. She has to come around on her own. You do not, however, have to continue enabling her. If there’s a child involved, you can certainly buy necessities, but the adults can face the consequences of their actions.
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I don’t think you would be a bad mom for not giving$. I think you would be helping to enable her not to see how bad being with an addiction can be. She won’t learn the hard way of things are never hard. Now as a mom I know it’s not easy to say no, but you already seem to know this is what is best.
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My husband (then boyfriend) had a drug problem. He would constantly ask his mother for money and she would give it to him (and she knew he had a problem). I finally blew up on her and told her not to give him another dime. She finally listened! She was his biggest enabler sometimes! I’m happy that he is now almost 7 years clean. I say all this to tell you, no you wouldn’t be a horrible
Mom if you stopped enabling! It’s tough but honestly it’s the absolute best thing for you and your daughter!
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Don’t whatever you do badmouth him to her as that will only push her away from you and towards him and she will stop telling you about what is happening for fear of judgement. Until she sees it for herself there’s very little you can do on that front.
As for financial assistance of course you don’t want to see your daughter going without, but at the same time you want to be sure the money you give is to support your daughter not his habits. I’d suggest asking her what it is she needs when she asks for money and buying it for her e.g. groceries, things for the kids etc and make sure she knows she and the kids are welcome home any time day or night without judgement.
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She has to do it on her own. One day she’ll just wake up and realize she doesn’t wanna live like that anymore. Until then. Just keep loving her.
As a mom who’s been there: 1 stop giving her money immediately. If she needs something and you want to buy it for her, do that. 2 change the narrative. Instead of sounding like a broken record telling her how bad he is, start reminding her of her own good qualities and her own worthiness to be loved and respected. It’ll take a long while but it’ll help her believe in herself again.
I spent 2 years telling my daughter his awful her bf was and she defended him to the last. I spent the last 2 years of their relationship lifting her up and reminding her she deserves to be loved and respected. It was a long process but she had to see it for herself first and I was there without judgment when she needed me.
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It took me two years to realize the guy I had was like that. Honestly there was nothing family or friends could say to me to make me leave him. I had to get tired of it first. Don’t give her money. Offer your place of she needs a break or a meal if she needs food. Make sure you are there for her to vent even if it seems repetitive and you just want to scream “leave the sorry piece of shit!”
she doesn’t fall as deep as I did before realizing she deserves better. It took awhile to get me back and im still dealing with some of the left over issues years later. It takes a toll on your self esteem being around someone like that.
The best lessons are learned the hard way. You should not be giving her money. If anything, you’re helping them stay together. You can’t make anybody do anything
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Yes it’s ok not to give it to her. That’s enabling her and her dependencey on this man. Love her and pray for her but stop enabling her. With love…
Your lack of judgment and standards is reflected in your daughter’s choice of mates. If you start showing better thought put behaviors, she might reflect and follow. But more likely, she is using, too, and when you cut off the funds, they will start stealing from you. Whatever you do, prepare for a rough patch because she is visiting the results of her lifestyle on you, and that is a hole that keeps getting deeper and darker.
Nope. Tell her you support her but can’t support that. Buy her food, if you want. No money. And it may be both embibing if she is okay with it. Don’t enable any more.
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You know it’s wrong giving her money, so stop doing it. Let her know she can come back home when she’s ready.
I hav seen many a times incase when parents want their daughter to detach from a relationship with their boyfriend…they tell thier daughter that they will provide a good luxury gift and ask them to breakup wid that guy… in many cases parents buy car for their daughter so the daughter is totally engaged with her luxury life and foregts him
If you keep giving her money your enabling her to help him, because she thinks that one day he will wake up and love her when he’s just with her for the finances
You have to giver her some tough lover and cut her off financially, if your daughter lives with you then you have to have a stern talk with her that even though she’s an adult and that she’s allowed to make her decisions you can remind her how much you care and love her and how much you want to be respected in your home so a set of goals and ask her what her goals might be further down the road and then ask her if she sees those goals with this individual
You don’t you support her, be there for her and you pick her up when she figures it out herself which she will. If you keep trying you’ll push her closer to him and create a us against the world mentality. I’d stop giving her money though help her see the reality.
Okay, from experience: don’t give her money, ever, if it’s for him or drugs. Full stop. However telling her you don’t like him or that he’s bad may just push her away & further into his crappy arms 
If she needs food or medicine get it for her. but no more money
By trying to help your daughter your enabling the boyfriend to do more drugs etc xxx I know it s hard but you just have to be there for your daughter when it goes belly up the more you say negative about the more she’ll want to try and proof you wrong , build her up maybe try have quality night with her on your own x prayers for you both
Love is blind but please stop giving her more money.
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It only hurts you in the end. Believe me, I would of not ever had to worry a bout money, if I had never started.
Sending prayers
No matter how much you want to love and protect they have to make their own decisions
You are enabling her to stay with a man that is no good you are not helping her stop giving her hand out
STOP enabling them! Do not give her money. If she says it is for food … buy her one food.
He won’t change until he sees he has a problem, but he will tear up all his relationships until he decides to do something about it. He’ll make promises and break them, he will steal from you and help you look for what he’s stolen from you and tear you down to lift himself up. You know there’s a problem get away from him until he’s decided to go change and shows you he has changed. Anyone deserves better than this. I could say that he loves you but right now he’s only loving himself and his drugs more than you. Stop lending him money, but be aware if he’s around and you won’t lend him money he will lie and steal to get what he wants. As you might have guessed I’ve been there with a drug addict and nothing is sacred to them but their next fix. Cut all ties if you can and run for the hills, you’ll thank yourself later on.
I will tell you from experience that she is just as addicted to him as he is addicted to drugs and alcohol. So same rules apply. You cannot support her addiction but you can support her. No more money
Stop enabling her to enable him. You are doing her no.favors. cut off the cash supply now and explain to her you cannot standby and watch her ruin her life.
Perhaps reword your question:
“It WOULD be harmful to my daughter to give this man one more cent.”
You wouldn’t knowingly hurt your daughter, so don’t.
If you keep helping, then you’re enabling the bad choices. It would help her more to cut her off and offer assistance when she makes better choices. It isn’t about his choices, it’s about hers. She is choosing choosing to support this guy. Put her in the position to choose, instead of yourself. Does she want to be with him or does she want help?
No u wouldn’t be a bad mom I had to go through this with 2 of my girls . Enough is enough. She put herself in that kinda life with him . She can get out if it. But they kept staying with him . So I had to stop helping out it was butting a lot of stress on me n taking more from me . N getting things I need with that extra money I was sending to them . I pray one day they both will wake up n smell the coffee. That is not a man !!!
She’ll have to get tired of it. I know it’s frustrating but people have to see things on their own. Not much you can really do it’s on her.
How can you want him to think its not ok while you’re funding it? That doesn’t make much sense
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I’d stop giving her money , if she’s desperate for food give her some food or invite her over for dinner ect but you need to stop enabling her
I would do stop giving her money and tell her she needs to make a decision on how she wants to live the rest of her life.