Bite your tongue… and Don t say any thing to her about him.
I know it’s a killer, but the more you say just pushes her to him.
Unfortunately she is probly with him cos she has a drug habbit and he supplies her. She has to break the need for his drugs, then she won’t need him anymore.
Stop enabling the behaviour.
No more money , and tbh if I were to do that and not listen to my mother should would have kicked me out.
What if she’s the one who’s actually doing the drugs and alcohol but you don’t see it?
“Would i be a bad mum if I said I wasn’t going to give my daughter the money that I knew her no good boyfriend was using for drugs and alcohol anymore?” This post has got to be bullshit click bait surely, what kind of mother would be knowing their daughter is in a bad relationship and giving them money to carry on living the way they are living? Either this mum is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic or this is just a made up post. Who would just keep giving them money then go ask the internet if they’re a bad mum for saying they won’t give any more money like??? The level of DUHHH is embarrassing, Surely this is fake.
Tone for tough love. He is using her and will destroy her future.
Have her listen and/or read Psychopath Free (can’t remember the exact title, but it is close)
Don’t give them any more cash. Buy them what they need, be it food or powerbills or whatever, but don’t support the drugs and alcohol problems by giving her cash!
Don’t give her money, instead buy her groceries, put her some electric on or (if she has one) buy nappies for the child.
If she’s a teenager good luck. You can’t teach them anything about about men. I was a horrible teen girl thinking I was in love with a horrible boy. My mom couldn’t tell me anything. Mama tried but I didn’t listen. The only thing you can really do is let her figure it out for herself. Sounds like she is getting close. But you CAN stop giving her money. Unless you’re at a store and she points out something she wants directly. save the money that you would have given to her and put it in an account for when she comes to her senses and truly needs it for herself.
Same boat here, unfortunately all we can do is be there even they’re ready.
Stop humoring them in their bad habits! It has to stop somewhere! If he has to get a fix it is a good thing for you if he gets it somewhere else so he will clear out!
Do not give money or things that can be redeemed for cash. Buy her food. Pay a utility bill. When you give cash you become an enabler. Like any addict, they have to hit bottom before they will want to get help.
Cut her off to save her life. Next he’ll probably try to sell her “favors”
you wouldn’t be a bad mom for not giving her anymore money to supply him with his shit. it’s possible that the only reason that the guy is dating her is to get the money from her to get his fix. once he’s cut off, there’s no telling what could happen. but i hope for the best. both for you and your daughter.
Say you are done supporting her because of him! And stick to it. It’s called TUFF LOVE!!!
U are enabling her by contributing to boyfriends bad habits
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Buy her groceries don’t give her money
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Tell her she is loved and welcome any time but don’t give her any money.
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I wouldn’t help enable him, to manipulate her.
Are you fucking Kidding me!!??NO,get a job boyfriend and clean up better yet GO FAR,FAR AWAY
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You both need to go to Al-Anon
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You need to stop helping her, let her learn the hard way. It I hard because you are her mom
You are enabling the situation by giving her money.
Stop giving the money! You are supporting his habits!
You literally can’t. She has to see it for herself
No, you’d be a good Mom for stopping the enabling.
If you ain’t taught her her worth YET, YOU THE PROBLEM
Turn off the fayucet!say no and mean it!! Repeat!say no!!
call the cops on them… then she’ll see who’s really there and who’s not
Do NOT give her any more money.
You can’t, but you can definitely stop supporting her.
He’s not doing the drugs and drinking by himself. That just doesn’t happen! Stop supporting destructive behavior - no matter how much it hurts to say no!
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You can’t. And stop giving her money.
Stop it now
If not you are an enabler
DON’T give her the money…
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Absolutely not. If you know hes bad news, then it’s time stop enabling and funding his bad habits. As for her, she’ll learn soon enough once she stops getting money and sees how he treats her after that. It’s a hard lesson, but she isn’t going to learn it if you dont put up boundaries and put your foot down. She may be ok with putting up with it, but you dont have to be.
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No money she needs to dump him he’s not gonna change.
He would have to hit the curb.
Mom you are buying drugs and booze
Definitely stop giving her money. If she’s giving him her money to buy drugs and then asking you for money, it’s probably going to him as well. And if she’s desperate enough to ask you for more money constantly, sounds like he’s playing a heavy hand in her getting more money from you. That is addictive behavior and it will only get worse the longer this continues.
Don’t give money, if you want to help I’d give things she may need that can’t be taken and sold by the boyfriend for drug money, this is what my mother did for my sister when both her and the boyfriend were on drugs. She would buy groceries for them instead. You can’t push her on this, she will have to figure it out all on her own, unfortunately.
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Flat out, seen it before she needs to think of her future. He is more then likely useless and can’t do basic things like work on cars, fix commen house issues or even do maintenance simple as mowing grass… if she thinks its hard now even with parents help imagin the day when they have no parents to help them. If by chance you pass away or something happens they are completely screwed. Let them see how bad things are without help while you still can before it becomes reality… they still have the choice to straighten out or turn to crime but from experience very very rare that someone stays with a druggie and isn’t or don’t turn into one themselves. Pop your daughter with a unexpected drugtest when she shows up to get money.
By giving her money is like feeding her drugs! You are encouraging her! Stop! It is called TOUGH LOVE! Save the money for future plans.
Do not give her any more money, she will unfortunately HAVE to learn the hard way. That’s how I had to learn as well but I did and here I am happier and healthier than ever!
I won’t give it just ask what you need at get it for her if that helps honestly she scared to be by herself that’s how it all starts they why most females don’t leave show her your there for her and she has to find her worth and as son as she does she leave
That’s exactly what u need to do. U can’t make her leave him but u can stop helping her keep him. She won’t want the change if she doesn’t start to lose things because of this. Sometimes all u can do is control what u can, speak ur piece and let her make her own decisions.
You would not be a bad mother, saying no and not supporting bad behaviour is a sign of a loving mother, because it is easier to say yes and not cause conflict, than to say no. Your daughter needs to run as fast as she can, she is heading for misery and heart ache the longer she stays in a negative toxic relationship
Stick to your guns and do not give her anymore money. In reality you are supporting him, not her. I have gone through the bad boyfriend thing with my daughter too, she got over him and much later is with a great guy. Just support her emotionally, love sent
I dated a whole bunch of idiots and each time my parents tried to tell me, it made me run into their arms. It’s ok not to give her anymore money. I would have a conversation with her about budgeting and let her know you will no longer be giving it to her. But you are always there for her. It takes time to find your way out. But when she does, it will really empower her. Best of luck.
He’s obviously using your daughter for money. You’re giving your daughter money for him to use and abuse her. It will continue until one of you says ‘this stops now!’ The boyfriend needs to get out of her life and she needs to see a therapist to improve her self esteem.
Your are feeding her codependency.
She needs to learn to earn her own money.
You may provide the basic neckties, allow her to learn to acquire self respect, by knowing what it takes to earn a living.
It’s called tough love. It’s still love
It’s not your place to encourage your adult (I’m assuming) daughter to leave her boyfriend, unless you fear for her safety.
What is the money for? If you suspect that it is funding his habits, you can withhold money on that basis without getting into whether they should be together.
Tell your daughter you will not finance his drug purchases or for her to pay for anything on a date with him.
No more money stick to it. They both have to Learn
No. Stop the cash now.
This was me always giving my daughter money whenever she wanted it and all her fiance did was Nothing but she wouldn’t listen to reason so I cut her butt off.
You are enabling this to continue.
Good grief 
what’s wrong with this post & it’s reply comments
???
Isn’t obvious that anyone doing what this mother is doing actually does the opposite of helping ?
Please stop the sappy stuff about mother’s love etc - mother’s love or anyone’s love
LOVE true and caring for anyone & anything would prevent harm not add to it and look for explanations later
Yes, cut off the cash flow. It might get bad. She might hate you for awhile. She’s going to have to see it for herself and decide what she wants for her life.
You give her money for drugs and booze
There’s your problem right there, youre enabling the entire situation 
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What the hell??? You are enabling HIM??? Get thy self to a counselor!
You are only enabling this behavior. Stop financing them. Tough love
I wouldn’t give her money.
I will be blunt and honest…all because I was your daughter. My mom constantly begged and told me to leave because he was a liar and cheater. He had given my parents a huge speech on the ring he was going to get me and I was excited. My mom had to put her foot down and yes I was upset but little by little I started stepping away from the bubble and started seeing him for who he was. So what you need to do is stop any form of payment eventhough it’s going to hurt like hell. You let her struggle and let her see that she needs to start thinking for herself. Don’t push things because she will push you further away. But of course if she needs you be there but not financially.
Yes stop giving her money! If she would quit giving him money or spending it on him she would have enough. She knows you’ll give it to her when she asks so shes not worried about it. So if u stop she might stop giving it to him or spending hers on him.
Stop being an enabler. Maybe he’s only with her because you’re supplying him with money for his booze and drugs. Stop it already. You’re being a terrible mom now
Just try to sit down and talk to her about him,
Maybe try documenting it and showing it to her , tell her polite tht you won’t give her anymore money but if she decides to leave him , you will help her , it doesn’t seem like she is being abused by him physically but maybe emotionally and mentally , when you love someone you will do anything for them even tho you know they won’t do it for you
Ik how hard it is to love hard and not get any in return
One day she will wake up and decide she no longer wants to be treated that way, and she will leave him. She already knows he’s no good for her.
When she asks for money, ask her what it’s for. If she says it’s for a bill, just pay the bill directly, but don’t hand her money or deposit it to her account anymore. they’re probably spending your money on his addictions.
You can’t. You have to let her make her mistakes and just be there when it does go wrong. You will just turn her against you otherwise.
Stop the payments. She might get mad, but hopefully she will see what your doing is saving her from a terrible life ahead
if you give her money you’re contributing to her own demise. Do not give her money to be used for alcohol and drugs. She needs to make her own decision and you are enabling her right now
She has to figure that out on her own… The more you push one way she’ll push back the opposite way
Stop being a friend and be a MOM and stop helping her in every way nothing will change if U don’t stop giving her money
You cannot make her see anything but you can stop enabling it by stopping the money.
Enablers are the worst to be honest
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Unfortunately if you’re giving her money and she’s giving the money to him, you’re both supporting him in all the wrong ways.
You will not be bad mom. It called tough love.
Good way to get your daughter to end up selling her body to pay for his habits
You need to cut it off at the knees
tell her a similar story about when you had to leave one of your ex’s cause was no good for you. if you don’t have a similar story make one up.
just model someone she can come to for non-judgemental support and someone to listen unconditionally
You’re supporting his habits through her
You’re enabling her boyfriend by giving her money. Stop it.
You cant. Let her learn that life lesson.
Don’t give her money.
Tell her ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Stop enabling her by giving her money.
Pray for her. Love her. Do not give her money.
Just say no to him amd her
You both need Alanon
Hire someone to fuck him up
You can’t make her stop seeing someone, however you can remind her her how bloody amazing she is. And make sure she knows you’re there no matter what
Stop giving her money you enabling them both. And your daughter will have to learn, just be there for here.
she’s not helping him, she’s enabling him. if she truly cares about him, she will not stand by and watch him destroy himself. tell her you will no longer support her enabling him, either get him help and be in a relationship with him as he tries to rehab himself or leave him because this right here is not love. if it was, she wouldn’t pass the hurt along to mom. healthy relationships that involve love include wanting to be the best version of yourself with that person to build something together, is this the best version of him he can be? Because the daughter is not being her best version either. What are they building? It is not being a bad mom giving her a dose of reality, this is one of those circumstances where I think tough love is warranted. Addiction is a disease but she’s not the sick one, she absolutely knows better and should be held responsible for it, she is hurting you financially in the process of enabling him. She’s taking advantage
Codependency, cognitive dissonance, trauma bonding. Research andsee if it fits. That’s a different kind of healing process
I agree buy things she needs not money. U can’t help if your helping the cycle continue dont forcethis or demonize when speaking of him
Show empathy and possibly bring this knowledge up when she says things like he wont ever change. Tell her the only thing she can change is working on self care healing boundaries work on herself to be happy regardless and when u do this the unhealthy sometimes works it’s way out.
You are exactly right to say no to giving him any more money! Don’t enable him. Your daughter needs to seek counseling and get away from him.
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Let her figure it out in her own. She will eventually see it. But it will take longer to see it if your push the issue that he isn’t good
“I’m sorry honey- I can not continue to give you guys money. If you would like, you (alone) can come stay with me until you get back on your feet.”