How can I make my husband understand that I need his help?

Clearly and calmly tell him what you need him to do. Make a list for him even. Sometimes they just need to be told what to do. Lol.

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That’s a reason a divorced my husband. Just so lazy, unavailable emotionally and always on his Playstation

Im the gamer in my small family. It’s my escape from my head. My old man is a movie fanatic. Here is how we make this work : we take care of home and baby together none of that you do this and i did that then we game together for a little bit and after we watch a movies till bed.

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If he wants to play games and be take. Care of give him mommy’s address. Now if he wants to be a partner and a parent it’s time to step up. You are helping him not have to pull all the financial burden it’s time for him to help with the family

When he comes home sneak out for the night and let him deal with the kids

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This exact same thing ruined my first marriage, put your foot down now or it will only irritate you to the point of no return.

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Guess I got a unicorn. My old man works, cooks, spends time with us, and he is a balls to the wall gamer. Plays every day. Sorry to see these ladies with these issues. Sometimes men are who they are from the beginning though and only get found out until time and effort has already been put into the relationship. I just asked my husband though and he says a lot of dudes play all the time due to depression or because their SO not bringing something to the table. So you really won’t know unless you make the effort to communicate and see what’s up. It’s definitely an effort on both people’s part. It’s a hard thing measure without talking to one another.

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Know your role :joy::joy: thay ladies insane. Living this life sucks! I’ve been there! I did infact get divorced after 6 years of it. I dont regret leaving a man who was never an active part and who neglected me and the kids.

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You could make plans one night let him tend the kids for a bit he’ll go to bed maybe lol

Sit down and talk to your husband and explain your feelings and what you expect of him because I lost my husband April 15th of this year I would do anything to have him back we had our ups and down but he was my best friend my soulmate so just sit down and talk to your husband

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After 22 years of the same, mine told me he didn’t love me and hadn’t for 5 years. I feel so used. Don’t become me, 47 starting over.

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And that’s why my ex husband is an ex

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He will do it, just giving 6 months. My husband is the same

Mines 58 I don’t have that issue
But u better put your foot down

My husband knows better haha. You tell him you didn’t make these kids yourself and to get off his ass and help you.

If You can’t communicate are you really right for each other

How about taking damn controllers away

You give him time out and say sorry but your not spending all night you get x amount of time and if he doesnt listen kick his ass out

I’d take the power cord and tell him he can have it back when he becomes the husband and father y’all need him to be. But… I’m a jerk like that.

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Beat him to the video games ask him what’s for supper, do everything he does. If it doesn’t work leave him because it’s to late.

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Mine did this at first when we first got married. I told him if he wanted to b alone with his video games I could just leave. That I got married to have a partner. Someone to spend time with. But I could also b single again… He quickly got it and never did it again. To this day he will ask me if he can play some video games, or if he can buy a game. I always tell him that’s fine. He can play it once in a while just not all the time.

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Video game addiction is a very real issue. These people need help because I have seen a friend of mine throw away all the gaming stuff and dude lost it on her then went out and bought all new stuff using their joint account.

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Turn off the WiFi and hide his machine lol

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Gaming is an addiction

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Good luck. I did that for 17 years and he set me free!!

Following because I have the same problem.

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Kristie k Stancel , a role? Seriously ? I’ve stood in a role “ of a parent of 6kids., and 90% on my own as a “mother” and “father” for my kids., and I Am a very strong woman., but even I wouldn’t say that’s the way to deal with things .!
as a Roll model himself., he HELPED PRODUCE A BABY , he should help take care of things too ! End of story!!!

Completely and utterly unacceptable… This man-boy needs a reality check :angry:

Just take a shotgun to his laptop… problem solved

My husband and I had this issue as well. I served my husband printed online divorce papers and left him. It was so bad he didn’t notice that I had packed our kids stuff, my stuff, and what not and had moved before handing him these papers. The only things still left was part of the kitchen and the furniture. I never filed the paperwork and we worked things out over a period of months and are together now,but still have a bit of issues now with him gaming and not doing enough. Definitely not as bad as it used to be and normally once I mention the issue he steps up and does his best. He falls back into his bad habit sometimes but I’m here to remind him to get in line.

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Tell him someone is about to come over and watch him panic.

Hide the laptop :woman_shrugging:t4:

“Lose” the charger chords and controllers for a few days. Then tell him how nice its bern having him not playing his games. Ask him to set a timer so he can still play and spend time with you. Tell him you miss him.

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I have the same issue

Take the darn power cord

Sounds like a young man. Tell him to man up or GTFO!

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Try talking with him about it and see why he goes straight to video games after work. Try listening to this podcast, it might help. I know it’s really helped my marriage, don’t give up. About - Marriage Therapy Radio

No sex for him til he pays more attention

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Good luck. I wish you the best. That never happen for me. I am now a single mom after 10 years of marriage and carry the same load that I always have.

Step up into a woman’s role…we were built to be strong for a reason. Most men still want to work and provide, us women have to do both, or don’t have a man???..know your role #southernwomen

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Don’t play games, don’t be petty. Every person needs their own hobbies. But try understanding why he hides in games and doesn’t attempt to help. Did he have a good example of what a father should be when he was growing up? Does he have abuse in his past that prevents him from acknowledging the needs of others? Have you tried counseling?

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There is nothing wrong with it at all (at leasy for our house) my man plays everyday, sometimes more than others, but he also fathers and is my man at the same time. Hes been laid off but helps around the house and helps me with the kids, we spend time together. We all have our own “me” time every day/night to wind down and collect our thoughts or relax after a hard day. Instead of yelling or arguing we go to our spots and do our thing then come together calmly to talk

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Communication. Sit down and tell him how you’d like things to go and if hes not on board pack your bags or live with it because hes not going to change. My husband use to play games and never help, even skipped my dr appts when pregnant to play games. He finally realized what he was doing when i left with our kid and didn’t come back for days… he spent the whole time on the couch and when he realized he hadn’t seen or talked to us in 3 days he put the games away. Last year I had to go full blown crazy before I finally got help. Im a stay at home mom of 3 and my husband is a nurse. He literally done nothing when he was not working. I went crazy then we talked that night and things have been much better. Noone can do it all.

Try and sit down and tell him how your feeling if he loves you he will listen work out a schedule that shares the housework and child care some people need to be told what needs to be done I do hope it works out for you both and life becomes better :revolving_hearts:

The sad part is that you shouldn’t have too, he’s a grown adult and should know or at least listened to your concerns the first time. Playing games should not come before your family, hobbies are a nice break but you need to be fulfilling your family and work responsibilities first… especially with young kids. Young kids are exhausting period, I would tell him that you need to have a serious talk after the kids go to bed. Lay everything out on the table and listen to his side also. Everyone needs a break

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After 17 yrs… when you find out that answer, please share it with me :woman_facepalming:t2:

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You can divorce him and try to find someone better

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Have sex with your neighbor.

Leave his ass there with those kids and dont answer your phone all day. Bet that shit works

Disconnect the internet

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There is no excuse for his bahaviour. He needs to be a adult. He wanted a wife and children so now he has to be a husband and father. TELL HIM TO GET OFF HIS ASS. This shit happens when you have kids with a emotionally unavailable manchild instead of a mature man.

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You should really talk to your man. Stop brining your problems to facebook. Like i do everything at home and play vidio games. And i make sure my wife is taken care of. But this is for you to talk over with your man. And get the shit taken care of.

For me personally I just spaz out. My fiancé will go through spurts of neglecting me and his fatherly duties. For like a few days every so often to play to much video games after work while I deal with the kids and working and my schooling as well their schooling. When he starts saying he tired from work I yell and spaz out “you don’t think Im fu**ing tired too? No get your ass up and help me with these kids because I want sleep too.” If the yelling don’t work I throw shit. And boom. Then he is an amazing daddy and hubby . I worked 2 jobs too and he worked 1. I am in school full time and volunteer at both my kids schools as well as dealing with all extracurricular activities. I cant sit down and enjoy video games so I wont allow him to do it. If I request assistance at any given moment then I expect to get it. No excuses.

My husband isn’t all about video games but he does lack talking to me he’s so laid back and very quiet he’s not sure how so he’s quiet when I do try talking to him but it still feels like he doesn’t understand it, my ex was bat shit crazy over video games I explained to him that I still needed him and everything and he chilled out quite a bit

Leave the kids with him and get on your laptop and start doing something on it like a zoom cocktail hour and tell him today children are his responsibility. Don’t cook, don’t clean. After a few days living in a shithole without a good home cooked meal and kids gone crazy he will ask you for a compromise. If he doesn’t he’s a piece of shit

Just tell him straight up: fucking help me or go.

I wonder how long this has been going on? Maybe there’s something on his mind that he can’t express :woman_shrugging:t3:

Since you seem to be married to a child (goes to “school” then comes home to play games avoiding their homework) treat him like one. Nothing better than watching them freak out because the internet won’t work or the laptop is going dead and they can’t find the charger. But honestly this man isn’t gonna change he doesn’t care (was married to one like this once) just move out and move on.

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Wow @ these comments man… so much hate on a her man cuz he has a hobby or outlet to work/ life…
What is your outlet?? Clearly some of these comments need a hobby… how long are you on Facebook? Your phone??
They need to talk bout game time together. Not take away his things like a child… want him to act like a man … act like a woman.

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Do the same - play “videos” do your own thing!

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He is not going to change. Sounds like he is selfish and that’s sad. As much as we would love for them to “change” they will only do it if THEY want to is what I’ve learned. I would think about myself and my children and what the best thing/ next step to do for us. It’s very hard decision. I’m telling ya it will be the best one you make. You may even find one day someone who is wanting to all the things you want from him now.

Sounds like you have 3 kids …pack your shit and leave the big baby

I’ve been married for 49 years. I would dump him with the quickness.

Tbh he should know you need help

He needs help. Tbh! He is addicted to gaming. I’m not even joking because it’s possible. He can’t stop. It’s not that he is intentionally not wanting to help her but he can’t because he has programmed his brain to #Play.

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Yeah…let’s make more excuses for males when they already treat us like property! A WOMAN would burn his chair, take a hammer to his toys, and change the locks! Fuck these little boys making babies and NOT raising them! #DownWithThePatriarchy #StopMisogyny

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I had this issue at one time as well (problems with dating a gamer) we came to an agreement that he plays his games certain days and the other days are for me.

The second he gets home from work, YOU get dolled up and walk out the door, don’t come home until bedtime, repeat until he is ready to man up and be involved!

Sometimes you just have to be specific. I have to say exactly what i need example: “kids are almost done in bath can you help with pajamas” he assumes i just have it and wont jump in unlessi ask

Tell him to go, sounds like your doing it all on your own anyway, will make no difference with him gone X

Communicate your needs! Express it. Show it.

Going to bed alone every night or the majority of the time is a slippery slope. Before you know it, you and the kids will be existing in 1 life in your house and him all alone in the other… I lived with a ‘man’ like this and in the end I realised his gaming came before everyone else. He wasn’t present in real life nearly enough and I was basically a single parent anyway! So that’s what I am now. He refused to change or compromise in any way. I’m a gamer too, but my children and the daily things they need from me come first… I’d say you need to have an honest discussion and be clear on some ground rules with how much time he spends playing games. He has to do more you and the kids or that’s it. Maybe weekends can be the nights he stays up late playing and then the rest of the week he joins you in bed. When do you get time together just to cuddle up and talk or be intimate?

When he comes home tomorrow go take a bath or do something just hand him the kids and do your thing do not explain make sure so he can’t talk to you lock yourself in the room or whatever tell him you’ll be out as soon as you can and don’t let him put them to bed afterwards come out get ready and go to bed and ignore him when he finds out what the fuc tell him if he can do it so can you one night is yours one night his do not act needy ask him if this is what he wants no commutation

If it was me, I would have a sit down and tell him the facts calmly, and give him a list of things to be done. I would go as far as unplugging the game console until the list was done. If man has his fun making babies, in turn he should help raising them and not being a child himself.

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I was married to a man addicted to computer games too! WE never addressed the “elephant in the room”, it is an ADDICTION. It is an escape for them. It was an ongoing joke: if "he only would’ve touched me the way he touched his key.board, things would’ve been a lot different! I ENABLED him, and allowed it.

We divorced in 2004.

I NEVER stopped loving him, he is the father of our 2 wonderful adult sons. Two years ago (14 years after divorce, he (my WASBAND, ex-husband) apologized and admitted he had an addiction.

Don’t settle! Address it now, while your children are young and your family is still intact. It TRULY is up to you. And he has a responsibility to you and your family to be part of that. PLEASE talk to someone (professional), reach out to me if you have any questions. :heart::orange_heart::yellow_heart::green_heart::blue_heart::purple_heart:

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It may sound harsh and out of character…but sometimes pushing buttons (fighting with him abouting it) is the only way he knows it REALLY BOTHERS YOU! If dinner is ready right when he gets home (as it is in my home) no games. Find compromises! If the games are needed (to escape a HARD DAY AT WORK) let it me…but if he does not follow through with any compromise take them controllers away, unplug the system (make sure you take the cord needed for system) tell him family time and help is all you want. You make dinner he cleans it up is all you’re asking.

I think part of the problem is that you call it helping you. This use of words indicates that these are your jobs and responsibilities. He is merely a helper. You need to change the way you word things, especially when you talk to him. He is not your helper, these things that need to get done are 50% his responsibility too. Make a list of everything that needs to be done every day, every week and every month. Sit down with him and divide the tasks equally. Remind him that your relationship is a partnership and that you expect him to pull his weight. If this was a business, would you do all the work and let your partner do nothing to contribute??? No, you wouldn’t. So don’t let this happen in your marriage or you will be divorced in no time.

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I would create a situation where he is the only one with them like work late one night or take a Friday off and go back Saturday. I hear so many stories like this, this is exactly why a long time ago I told someone I won’t even date someone who plays video games at all.I mean , for those of us who did ever play video games of some sort, didn’t we outgrow them at like, idk, 14? Talking to him isn’t going to do it, she’s asking the internet, I’m guessing she has talked, begged, pleaded…

Similar situation here. I don’t work outside of the house but I do homeschool and that takes a good chunk of my day. I wish I had advice but I don’t. Just know you aren’t alone.

You should try to discuss with him for solving the problem. But for that you need to get the wisdom of God. So far you would request to be prayer. God can help you to fix his bad manner.

Tell him that if things don’t change you will stop going out to work. You will stay at home and do all of it. I promise he will listen. If you are both going out to work you both have to do things around the house. Plus it’ll works to have a designated date night. He will surprise you on the day with 24h notice. Even if it’s just stay at home dinner he needs to plan what to eat, order it and clean up after. And you get gorgeous and provide dessert and don’t talk about serious issues just enjoy each other’s company.

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My heart goes out to you, Ive been in your shoes for years and my kids are teens now. It’s a tough balancing act. Take good care of yourself.

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Throw them away. Video games are a waste. I would divorce my husband if he played video games all day. My girls are not aloud to play the either nor do they want to

Leave him… he’s needs a wake up call. It’s obvious talking isn’t working

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I left and he made amends with me. Its going to be a lot of work. But we have to discipline ourselves first of all to be tough.

Same with kids see dad on it now they want too same with television turn it off Make rule 2-3 hours family time seems it can be just the habit and he can’t turn it off

Put your foot down and tell him how you feel. There is no excuse for him if both of you work full time. You’re a nicer wife than I am.

First keep undivided attention. Tell him he is important to you. Be kind an explain the situation. You need an pray first. He is your helpmate

Take your wedding ring and put it on the video game and say since you are more interested and pay more attention to this then your family you can then be married to it

My husband’s answer was to speak on leaving since he’s not listening to you.

theres nothing wrong with adults gaming even with a family. Im not understsnding why everyone is making a huge deal out of this. My man games a lot but also helps with cooking, cleaning, being a dad, helps school my oldest while im at work, helps with the baby in the mornings while i get ready, we spend time together, the list goes on. He has suffered from depression in the past and I have helped make it better these last few years. Gaming also helps him too and honestly helps our relationship. Instead of arguing or yelling after a hard day we have our “me” time and calm down then come together to talk

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What video games does he have on his laptop ?

Bye bye. You shouldn’t have to ask your husband for help!!! He should be helping. Plain and simple.

Stop doing his laundry and cooking his food

Pull ur belt off and give him a spanking :joy:

How old are you guys

I would lose my shit…maybe there were signs he would be like this…i would never put up with that

There is nothing wrong with video games until you start neglecting the shit you need to do and helping with the house and kids you made. Make sure he’s not depressed that can be one way people escape if talking does not help you have to ask yourself if this is how you want to live. Unfortunately some think games are more important and since another parent is there they will take care of it, especially if that’s what the one parent has done.