Dear Mamas, I am writing this in utter desperation for words of consolation and wisdom, to know that I am not the only mother to feel this way, and I hope there won’t be any name-calling or mudslinging. If you cannot be gentle, kindly refrain from commenting. First I would like to give a brief idea about my background. I had dated my husband in college and got married to him six years later in 2016. We have had our ups and downs, but I have never regretted having married him because I think he is the best any girl can ask for. We are both professionals, and both of us are following a postgraduate program. Despite our busy schedule, we never failed to have fun and frequent vacationing. I am the only child in my family, and we are living with my parents till we complete our studies. Due to male factor infertility, following several failed IUIs, our first IVF was successful, and I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a month ago. I had suffered from two brief episodes of depression, once soon after marriage, for which I went to a psychiatrist for counseling and medication, which resolved the problem in a month or two. I suffered from a similar episode, which resolved on its own, without medications during my pregnancy. So I assume these bouts of depression occur when I take up a new responsibility – marriage, pregnancy. And now about my current scenario. I gave birth through a planned C-section. The pregnancy and the delivery were unremarkable. Due to the poor latching of the baby, I had to immediately start him on formula, and I bottle-feed breast milk. Before we could identify that he is having poor latching is unable to get enough food, the first two days after childbirth was a nightmare, as we didn’t know why he was fussy and having severe episodes of crying. This really made me feel very low, and at the same time, I was not able to pump enough BM to exclusively feed him BM. A week after childbirth, I started feeling very low, and my mind is always congested. My husband practically mothers the baby, and my parents help me a lot too. But with the little amount of work I do, I get exhausted, and most of the time, I am irritable and lethargic and crave more sleep. I cuddle my baby, I play with him, but I feel that I lack bonding with him. At the back of my mind, I have this feeling that I am a terrible mother partly because I am unable to breastfeed him and partly because of the mixed feelings I have towards the baby. I also miss the old carefree life. I have to get back to work in another two weeks. I am really worried that I will not bond with my son. But honestly, my husband and I have been looking forward to this baby to start our little family. I would like to know if any of you went through something similar but have recovered from it. Thanks in advance.
Please reach out to your doctor… You are not alone mama
Girl…breathe you are doing so well! The old life is always missed when you become a mom but this new one is so exciting. Don’t feel guilty for being overhwlemed because it is hard and don’t beat yourself up for the sadness because it is not personal and definitely does not make you a bad mom. Post partum depression is a very real thing and you should absolutely talk to someone and not keep it to yourself. You are not alone and although it feel so hard, it can absolutely get easier. I am rooting for you💕
Sending you virtual hugs…
The irritable feeling, lethargic, exhaustion, and craving more sleep were signs for me. My Dr. checked my iron levels and it was extremely low. You may want to f/u with your dr. Also, I’m sure you are doing a great job.
Sounds like post partum depression
Honey its so so hard being a first time mum, let alone knowing u have too go back to work so quickly. Be more kind to yourself. U need to speak to your doctor or GP about post natal depression. I had it and its horrible, but it will go away with medication and support and one day you will look at your baby and wonder why u ever worried about loving your son. Goodluck. Xxx
Could be postpartum depression, I would definitely talk to your doctor about it.
I was unable to breast feed due to medical conditions and it took me months to bond I felt like. It’s something a lot of women go through. We shouldnt be ashamed. People expect us to instantly be happy and upbeat and everything positive but our bodies just went through the hardest thing its ever had to go through physically and mentally. Having help should feel relieving and shouldn’t make you feel less than. I’m sorry you are going through that. It does get better over time. Anyone who says you need to instantly bounce back to who you were has not been through it. Take your time. Go easy on yourself. The more you take care of yourself the better you can be for your family.
I can’t help with advice for some parts of your issues, but I can 100 % be with you on the breastfeeding. I’m pregnant on my third, due end of this month, but all have been bottle fed. I tried to breastfeed on my first lil boy, he wouldn’t latch on, I was bleeding it was so sore, and the next night , I was changing his nappy and found blood in his nappy. I completely freaked out in there, total meltdown at 2am crying thinking 1. I was starving my baby, and 2. I was passing my blood through him.
A nurse came into me and I begged her for a bottle of formula and she did. He drank it straight down with no issues and I swore I’d never look back. He’s 3 now and healthy as an ox!!! Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone and you should in no way at all feel pressured that you should do it!!
As for the bonding, I had this on my second lil boy, definitely took me a few weeks to adjust from one baby to two. Harder to get out, less sleep, I was at my wits end some days, but stick with it with as much positivity as you can!! I was blessed to have so much support from my mom and family. If they offer you a break, take it!!! Even just that hour to get out of the house, walk around the block and get your thoughts together, you’ll be a new woman coming back in again!
I would advise that due to you having bouts of depression before I would ring the hospital and tell them how you feel incase its postnatal depression. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and affects alot more women then you think!!! They will be more than willing to get you some help to get you OK track!
It doesn’t mean we love our babies any less, sometimes we just need a helping hand too.
Hope you get sorted
It’s so tough having a baby, nothing can prepare you for it. You had a major operation that takes weeks to recover from, with the added pressure of this tiny human that’s totally dependent on you. You’ll be angry at yourself for not being able to BF - our bodies suck sometimes and the pressure put on us to BF is INSANE because not everyone can, it sets so many mums up to fail then feel worthless. This is all ok, it’s normal. You will get through this, one day at a time. You are a fantastic mum and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. x
Yes I went through this after birth it was terrible . I did get better after a while but I feel for you and know exactly what you are going through. Hang in there it will pass if you don’t think it will see a doctor they will help you to understand more of why this is happening.
I was unable to breast feed and didnt feel an immediate connection with my baby either. I had an emergency c-section and had a terrible 16weeks of recovery and hospital follow ups etc. During this time i felt useless, i did things but was tired a lot and while i had lots of help i wanted to prove i could do it all as i felt like i had failed twice ready (not able to do a vaginal birth and no breastmilk). My midwife assured me i would bond with bub and it would just hit me and all would be ok, i thoight she was nuts! I thought i was broken. Turns out she was right. One night around week 22 of mummy hood at around 2am i went to check on bub and i just started smiling and then crying and i knew i loved her, i knew she loved me and that i hadn’t failed, i just did things differently. The next morning i felt much better and things got better as i got more confident in my mummy abilities. The bond will come. Sometimes it just takes a little longer, but it’ll hit you at the most unexpected moment and you’ll know. You’ve been through so much, give yourself time to sleep and recover. Give yourself time to be a mum. Sending hugs!!
With having a new born your hormones are freaking out and are all over the place.
Also you seem to get depression when a big change happens in your life.
Having a career and now not working is a big shock to the system.
Not having enough sleep can send any one crazy.
Find support from family and friends don’t do this on your own.
Some people these things don’t affect.
But these thing affect many new mum’s.
Maybe get a nanny to come to look after bub a couple of days per week.
Good luck xx remember you are not alone xx
You had major surgery which is a hard recovery by itself, but you’re also doing it with all the residual hormones still rampaging about and this tiny person who relies on you for everything, it’s a lot to deal with. Despite what the books say, feeling a connection to your baby isn’t always immediate, and that’s okay. You clearly love your son very much and that’s half the battle. Maybe try talking to your midwife or family doctor, post natal depression is hard but there’s so much support available these days
Hi! I had been through similar situation after becoming mum. I formula fed him during initial days because of the latching issue and then I pumped & bottle fed him.
There is nothing to worry at all. First 3 months will be bit messy since you get to know your baby and his needs but believe me once your baby’s routine is set, everything will start falling in place. Just calm your mind and keep yourself stressfree so that you can focus on pumping breastmilk. As long as baby is getting breastmilk, its absolutely fine.
Motherhood is a very beautiful phase in life, although a bit hectic one! Just remember you are his mother and no one else can do better than you.
I didn’t bond with baby #1 until much later. I also had a c-section with her, after a long labor. Exhaustion, pain, inability to BF… I felt inadequate & like she deserved better because of those things & the fact that I wasn’t instantly head over heels for her. I cared about her like I would any other baby & she was safe & fed, but nothing was as planned. The feelings are valid, but the reasons behind the feelings are not. None of this makes any of us a bad parent. It’s a huge change & hormones (& in my case trauma) play huge roles in how we feel. It’s REAL. You’re not “crazy.” It’s SUPER common, and you’re NOT a bad mom for it! Look to hubs for support. Carve out some time to go to the gym or something you can just get out of the house & do alone just for you, at least a few times per week. Getting out of the house can help for a lot of us. If you need to see a doctor about it, that’s okay! Do itttt!
It sounds like PPD to me. You need to talk to your doctor; not random people on Facebook.
Don’t worry about the bottle feeding not breast feeding or being a bad mother. Life rarely runs to plan. Let go of your “shoulds”. Relax, be kind to yourself and enjoy the baby.
Some of these will sound laughable to some people, but they work.
- Find some fun activities to do together, short ones that you can do in between responsibilities are the best.
- Watch cartoons or Anime every day whenever you get some time.
- Play video games whenever you can.
- Eat healthy, even if you have to spend a bit extra, but usually healthy food isn’t the food that’s expensive, but the things you can get quite cheap.
- Stay away from too many family meetings, meet friends instead even if you think you have supportive family members.
- Go for a walk each morning or evening, if possible then both times of the day. Even short walks help.
- Read a book each day if you can.
- Watch good comedy shows if you can.
You might think that you need serious solution, but in reality, simple things work the best. I understand that it might not be possible for you to do everything in the list, but try and do the ones you can.
I had the same thoughts and feelings as you do with my firstborn. I’ll never forget sitting in a chair across for her crib waiting for her to do something and not feeling a connection with her at all. I found out that I had postpartum after sharing my feelings with a friend who told me i was normal and to just let my doctor know. You are not alone in your experience. On the whole breastfeeding thing- my daughter I breastfeed for about 8 weeks and I was miserable, my 2 nd child was breastfeed for a little over two yrs. he gagged on formula and was difficult to ween since he was constantly sick with ear infections and bronchitis. My last child I breastfeed maybe three days. My oldest and youngest have always been healthier then my middle child who breastfeed the longest. So the whole “breastfeeding makes for healthier babies “ was complete bs in my experience.
Lack of breastfeeding is not a failure a baby is a huge life changer get help give yourself a break
Get on to panda.org.au they are specifically for postnatal depression there is a help line I think you can call Me ask advice from them. Definitely speak to a professional about this
I’m so sorry your feeling that way. I went through something similar but I had a unplanned C-section coz my baby would come out. I still have bouts of depression. But you can bond with baby even tho your not breastfeeding baby you can do skin to skin it helps bonding so when baby feeds take your top and bra of and do skin to skin or baths with baby. Your an amazing mum .
It’s sounds like classic postpartum depression. Plz c u doctor urgently
Oh honey. Please speak to your husband parents and a doctor. This can be totally normal for a lot of mum. I had issues after both my babies but I have a 15 year history of depression so I can’t give much advice. Please know it’s perfectly ok to feel this way and there is a lot of help out there.
You are a lovely mom for writing this post. Get professional help NOW I hope you feel better soon x
Definitely PPD, don’t be afraid to speak up to your doctor. I took a supplement postpartum reset which I got on amazon which also helped greatly. Your body is going to be going through a lot now and in the next year, clear communication with your support team and doctors make a world of help. You aren’t in this alone!
Breathe dear! This sounds like you could be dealing with some post partum which is totally normal! Talk to your doc as well in order to yourself some help! You’re doing great!
I’ve had chronic depression and anxiety my entire life. Bad therapists that whole time so I always ignored people telling me to get help - it never worked so, why? PPD/A destroyed me, my son is 16 months and I’m only just now really getting a handle on it.
It started hurting my marriage. No talk of splitting, ever, but I was constantly hurting my husband and therefore myself. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I spent days looking for a therapist. Psychology Today helped as I was able to pinpoint what I needed and only see people in my area who dealt with my issues and were fine with the lifestyle choices that were a part of things. I’ve been seeing my therapist for about 2 months now and I’ve already made more progress in those 2 months than I have in my entire life.
Don’t try to do it alone. You’ll hurt yourself trying. Take care of yourself <3
Please don’t be so hard on yourself! You are doing everything right for that baby boy! Remember you need to take care of yourself too. Make sure you are eating proper, getting your nutrients and water intake. Maybe have a chat with your doctor to see what they suggest. You have a whole team of mommas here that have gone through similar situations. Know that you are doing great and that baby boy will always love you. The bond is and always will be there.
First off - I HATE the stigma around what you feed your kid. FED IS BEST! Not everyone’s breast feeding journey goes as planned and THATS OK! Your baby is getting alllllll the nutrients they need with a combo of your BM & formula.
Second - a happy mom = a happy baby. That can be in regards to how you feed them, if you’re on medication, if you’re in therapy. You have to take care of yourself, too!!! You just went through a massive life change and if you need some assistance, get it! I know I did!
Third - you WILL bond with your baby! You can bond with him in so many ways; go for walks, sing to him, read to him, baby wear him, instead of putting him down for nap right when he falls asleep…do some skin to skin and then put him down. Not everyone bonds with a baby right away, and not everyone loves the newborn stage (and that’s ok!!!)
Forth - I would talk to your OB, there are so many options for PPD / PPA. Refer to number 2- if you need some assistance for a short while, it’s worth it! Becoming a mom is a massive deal. You will get through this!
The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one!
Hang in there!
First…take a breath. I didn’t breastfeed either of my kids.
The oldest… between a birth injury and him having hypoglycemia because I was producing basically water.
He was on the verge of being transported to a children’s hospital when I finally switched to formula and tried to pump and combo feed.
I spent more time with the damned pump than i did him. When he was diagnosed with milk protien allergy at just under two months I stopped pumping completely.
Honestly…it was the best decision I made. Without having to pump I had more time for him.
With my youngest I refused to even try to breastfeed because of what had happened with my oldest.
Trust me. That stigma that breastfeeding is how you create a good bond is bullshit.
Look at your husband and your baby. Your husband isn’t breastfeeding him and they still have a good bond.
You can have one too If you’ll let yourself.
Sometimes formula is the best option. Doctors wont tell you that. But i will. Plenty of actual moms who really know what they’re talking about will.
Next. Yeah. Sometimes its bittersweet to remember being carefree. But you traded carefree in for something even more precious. Unconditional love. Yours to baby and babys to you.
Think about all the places you can take babe when he’s older. The wonder and excitement in his eyes makes up for not being carefree.
I took my oldest to the zoo at 2. He stood there watching a polar bear for several minutes. The polar bear would come put his snout to the glass where my son’s hand was. The look on his face was priceless.
Sometimes you just have to give yourself some grace and then will yourself to focus on positives.
You are not alone! You are a great mom knowing that your baby needs formula is not a failure. You already have a mother’s intuition. So I went through fertility treatment with our first. I also had to formula feed, my milk wouldn’t come in, I tried pumping but nothing came out, she wouldn’t latch properly. I had postpartum anxiety because of this. I felt like a failure…everything I was doing wasn’t right. It started with the fact I couldn’t breastfeed. That made me feel like a terrible mother. Also hormones are all over the place.
First have you talk to your Doctor? If not you should immediately call.
Second antidepressants can help, they helped you before and they will help you again.
Third, call your therapist start going weekly again and get the help for yourself you need.
Postpartum is hard enough without having anxiety or depression.
Please seek professional help and you will start feeling better soon.
I think it’s time u talk to your doctor again. There’s nothing wrong with having your moments, but gave them. Especially when you have a little one looking to you to take care of it. There is nothing wrong with therapy or medicine to get you in a better place.
Go to the doctor, it was the best thing I ever did for myself
Do not ever put yourself down for not being able to breastfeed. Your baby is still getting fed & that’s all that matters. Please go & see your doctor about your emotional side. It happens to so many of us especially after birth. There is plenty of help you can receive. Best of luck x
It is so normal to feel this way. You are a great mom. Post partum is some hard stuff. I hope you feel better soon. All of these moms are going to tell you the same thing. We have almost ALL been through this.being a mom is hard. I hope you are able to overcome this just as easy as before.
You may have bipolar disorder which would definitely trigger postpartum depression which it seems like you have. I’d talk to your Obgyn.
You are definitely not alone girl! You can do this!!! You may have some hard days and post depression is soooooo real! I had it for a while and still have my days. But I promise you will get amazing rewards soon enough out of it and you are the best mama just being there!
Completely normal. Talk to your dr. They will help and therapy!
Welcome to Motherhood! You’ll doubt yourself from here on out. The fact that you’re worried about means that you’re a good Mom! Go back to counseling, talk with a friend and be sure to take time for yourself. Give it time, that bond will come.
Quit beating yourself up about this. Newborns can be exhausting and as long as that baby is fed and thriving, it doesn’t matter whether it’s breast or bottle-fed. It really does get easier. Talk to your doctor about any concerns you might have. You’ve got this!! Eventually you will wonder why you ever doubted yourself.
Sounds like postpartum depression. Talk to your doctor mama
You can message me . Honestly .
The first time I got pregnant I was young & not even my mother would admit there was such a thing as PPD. I just thought the way you did & had suffer through it. It’s was terrible. Now I have learned better & it’s so beneficial to both you and the baby for you to seek help. What you are feeling isn’t your feelings & you love your baby endlessly.
Reach out to a medical professional for help hun.
Definitely talk to your doctor. I felt similar and it was ppa and ppd.
Id continue to go to therapy, and try every day, and let your family help. You need it ,thats okay
Life isn’t perfect and doesn’t have to be.
Sounds like postpartum depression to me😕 I had postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis. When I had my last baby, I did not want to be around her at all. I was put on meds and that helped for about 2 weeks, then I started feeling suicidal so I had to stop takin it. Talk to your doc and tell him/her the issues you’re having. I hope everything works out for you❤️
You should go to the doctor. You may need a temporary low dose anti depressent. It could make the world of difference for you. You dont have to suffer. Hang in there
Like others have said, it definitely sounds like postpartum depression. Your hormones are crazy right now and they are about impossible to control. As long as your baby is feeding, it’s all good. Definitely talk to your doctor about this ASAP, you’re not the only one and the doctors can help. So many new mommas go through this, you don’t have to go it alone. They can even give your husband tools on how to support you through this.
I have been where you are. It’s hard and it’s scary. I had to get help. It turned out I was having a bipolar break. I also suffered from post partum depression.
Whoever is this, feel free to private message me.
Sounds like you struggle when good things are happening in your life. You have to take a moment to realize not being able to breast feed is NOT YOUR FAULT. I wanted so badly to naturally feed my little girl and they made it seem like I WAS THE PROBLEM. 2 months later I found out my daughter had a tongue tie!!! They blamed me, made me cry, told me she wasn’t getting enough nutrients due to my (not breast feeding) I pumped and used formula. Depression is one of the hardest struggles we go through, as moms it can be even worse as we wonder why in the world we aren’t good enough?! At the end of the day these beautiful babies make us realize just how good we have it. Don’t focus on these things being your fault because it’s NOT your fault in the slightest. You do the best you can. Make time for yourself, make a change of scenery. I had to move out of my parents house as being there had caused me to stumble further into depression. I remember lying in my daughters crib with her and sobbing because I couldn’t believe I had allowed myself to feel this way. Now that I’m living my own life away from my home town I feel so much better about my life. Unfortunately we can’t make sacrifices when it sacrifices our happiness. I suggest making a change for you and your family. Sending all the love your way
I’m so sorry your going through this if I where you I would get evaluated for post Partum depression it sound just like what my friend had
Don’t forget you just had major surgery after carrying a baby for nine months. You need to heal. Cuddle baby, heal, and bond. You figured out the latch issue and solved feeding so he’s still even getting some breast milk. That’s an amazing start. Focus on today, not on back to work. You can’t predict all problems, but moms put babies first and solve them as they come up. Heal now and love baby. You’re just what he needs!
Post partum depression. Talk to your doctors now and get treatment
You got the mommy blues
Its totally okay
And sounds like you have a wonderful support system
I had a c section and I hated my self because I couldn’t BF my son at first
After a few days when I returned to my own comfort place my milk came in
My son did have a hard time latching
It gets annoying it gets hard
You know yeah your whole free time personal time goes out the door
But it’s something you singed up for now your whole life revolves around that little life you created
I get it iv realized that to
But I’m not as susseful as you are
But I think give it some time you’ll grow onto this life of mommy world
This is post pardum depression
Post Partum Depression please talk to your doctor!
When we finally had our baby girl, after 6 years of trying, I couldn’t understand why I was so depressed. It was a difficult pregnancy, and delivery, so I didn’t even try breast feeding. We went straight to formula. I was o.k. with that. I did not seek help for the depression. I just soldiered thru the sadness for about two months. Losing the extra weight helped. I did feel like I bonded with our baby. I just felt inept, at times. It all worked out in time. I wish i had reached out for counseling/medication, at the time, instead of white knuckeling it. My baby is now a young mother herself. She gains much from an online mom’s group. She works from home, and has survived the Covid lockdown, through it all. I hope you find the support that you need. You are not alone.
I never felt that immediate bond that everyone else said they felt when their baby was born. For the first 3 months I just felt like I was babysitting someone else’s kid. Then, finally, I got into a groove and felt like I was connecting with my baby. It can take time and it’s totally normal. Hang in there.
Post partum depression get to a dr and get help. ASAP.
Sounds like post partum depression. Talk to your doc
Sounds like textbook PPD. Talk to a doctor, get into some counseling or some medication and get past it! You don’t have to feel this way. Help exists. Not all depressions are hard and heavy, some are simply a lack of interest, or some guilt at a perceived fault, which is what this sounds like.
I went through this when my son was born. I was diagnosed by my counselor with PPD. I have had my depression prior to him but have it mainly under control with lifestyle changes and medicine (I still have bad days). My son is now 5yrs old and we have such a good bond. What I lacked then… I try to make up to him now.
You are enough. Your family sounds wonderful. That beautiful baby believes you are perfect. Time for you to believe it too. I struggled for years with mental health. I wasn’t quite so lucky as I had no support system. When I finally sought professional help my life changed. There is no shame in talking to someone. It seems like it would be hard, but it’s a stranger so they start out with zero expectations and just listen. Sometimes that’s all we need is someone to listen and not expect us to be okay all the time. Your feelings are valid and I wish the best for you.
It’s ok. I also had a csection (unplanned) and didn’t produce enough milk to only feed him on that. Not gonna lie, that first month for me was hell. He would cry all night bc the formula was giving him colics and would I literally would sleep 2-4 hours every single day. The medicine that I was taking was making it worse for me so I stopped taking it after a week bc I so exhausted and the medicine made so sleepy so I couldn’t care for my son properly. I was so stressed bc I could only pump about 1 oz of milk per day and no more. I also had so much stress from my in laws being there (they don’t know the definition of privacy and boundaries). After a week of suffering, I had a fallout with my in laws and they refused to come back over to help me (thank God🙄 although I was grateful, they were not helping me at all). With all the outside factors gone, I only focused on my son. It took about a month for me to finally start producing 6 oz or more. I stopped giving him formula and went straight to breastfeeding. That was when he finally started sleeping through the whole night🙌 and would barely even wake up to eat😅. Bc of all that, I couldn’t really bond with him, like I knew what I was supposed to feel but just didn’t. So be patient, it will get better. Feel free to message me
Yes my dear, I went through this too. I was placed on meds that were safest because I was pumping. I felt like a failure and didn’t want anyone to know. Trust me, you are far from alone!
Give yourself time contrary to the common notion some mothers take time to bond with their babies.
I say yes it’s natural give yourself more time.
As far as breastfeeding remember that fed is best! So don’t worry about not being able to breastfeed. You can still do skin to skin and give a bottle. Also, remember as soon as they are born you won’t he able to produce alot of milk. So I pumped 1 breast and tried to teach my daughter how to latch. Then I did the other way. She was still getting fed. I also supplemented with formula for about a month. The milk finally came in and she finally latched it took 2 months and now we have been breastfeeding almost 2 years. It takes patience and lots of it. Remember if he’s fed you are doing it correctly.
Now, as far as the bond. I breastfed my son and still didn’t have a strong bond at first. I was young doing it by myself and wasn’t ready BUT, 3 weeks in he almost died from choking on milk, and I flipped and I realized I do have a bond with him I was just in a depressed state. Post partum is real. It’s strong. Talk to others close to you or a therapist. You are doing just fine. If you know you can’t give the care your husband can at the moment. That is okay. You are a team. You are being a good mom by having him help while you go through your funk. Just reach out!
I had severe post-partum depression. I look back now and cringe at the time I lost with my newborn, but I can tell you it does get better. Maybe another bout of counseling might help? I was put on a medication that didn’t help AND I’m still on 3 years later because it’s pure hell to come off of. So I’d be careful with that if you decide to go that route. I don’t know your beliefs, but I strongly suggest
That you turn to God with this. I don’t mean to preach, but I know from experience that I’d be in a much different position today if I didn’t have God. He can help you. Call out to Him and talk to him just like you do any other person. I have a beautiful relationship now with my 3 yr old daughter as a single mom and she tells me I’m her best friend. It does get better. (:
You’ve got to talk to your doctor and a therapist ASAP and also keep being open and honest about your struggles with yourself and your husband and family so they are ware to help you as well.
Absolutely and I think most new mothers suffer some kind of depression,
As for breast feeding as long as your baby is fed it really doesn’t matter, you have given him a good start for a few weeks so please don’t feel guilty about it,
Wether a caesarean is planned or not it’s really scary and to know about it in advance you were probably fretting about it, it’s coming out now as depression and this is why you can’t bond properly yet also you have had major surgery and you need to give yourself time to recover this is why you are tired
Having a baby is so so scary and such a massive life change how you feel is quite normal
I’m a pensioner now with three grown children but I’ll never forget how I felt
Best wishes to you all at this very special precious time
Try to enjoy xxxx
Post partum depression is a serious issue. Please talk to your doctor about it! Do not be embarrassed about it. It is very real and there is help for it.
I had a very similar experience with my son. He was my first and I actually had to work with myself and a therapist for a year to build a bond with my son. There is no shame in getting therapy. Not every person can connect with their child easily. Especially if you already have a history of depression. The therapist said that I actually had to mourn my previous life and then build a relationship with my son. He is now almost four and he is definitely mommy’s boy. My favorite part of getting up is him telling me “good morning momma!”. It does get better and don’t let the guilt push you further down. Get help now.
Stop doubting yourself. You have been through so much. I suggest you make an appointment to revisit the psychiatrist you had confidence in last time. If nothing else they can direct you further on to get you on your feet. You’re doing a great job Mumma.
I went thru post partum with one of my children. However because of your depression history, I believe you have not been in professional therapy long enough. Something in your life needs lengthy examination. It was for me. Besides figuring out your problems, you learn s lot of coping mechanisms
Yes, i hv through similar situation . While i was reading i felt like my story is playing on screen. But i hv overcome all these myself with positive thoughts… its not easy but we can if we try…
You have nothing to be ashamed of how you are feeling. I see that you had some major change in your life. It is like a loss it take time. Remain strong, keep talking. I was unable to BF also. Had a C-Section. Then our son had medical issues. It is alot for someone to go through. Be proud of your husband for helping out. My husband was my rock. This to shall pass an you will be a stronger woman. Little by little things will get better. Stay Strong. Be willing to talk. Ask for help. Hope this helps a little.
Just take it one day at a time. You’ve got this! Sounds like your support system is in place and awesome. Don’t get down about not being able to nurse your baby, there are other things that are more important to your bond, and you do have a bond, you protected and cared for that baby for 9 months, that’s the bond, the rest is just life. Just relax, everything will work out, it always does. Take care
Its only human to feel this way there r many women went through this some had to b treated for depression some lost it completely had to take meds and councleing to come back on so dont beat ur self up take it light the more u worry over these things the more u will sink take walks if possiable and pray alot when ur baby start laughing and moving about u will get that conection put positive things in ur taughts u will get through this im praying for u
Get your Vitamin D-3 level checked…it effects many, many things and levels need to be high rather than low…good luck!!
I had post partum after the birth of my 1st child. For 2 years I thought I was stuck in the hell inside my head forever, I have never been so low as I was at that moment. But I came out the other end and 9 years later I have a 2nd child with my head in the best place it’s been! The best advise to give personally is talk to someone, don’t keep your feelings bottled up. Let your emotions out, millions of woman feel the exact same way and you are certainly not alone. Nor are you a bad mother. In fact your far from it! There is light at the end of the tunnel I promise x
That is completely normal. Talk to your family about how you feel and your doctor. Don’t hold it in otherwise it will get worse over time. Postpartum depression is a thing and not to be taken lightly. I suffered from it but just felt like a bad person for having the feelings like I did, I didn’t receive help for it and am now suffering the effects of what stress can do to a person. Get the help now and don’t let the depression keep you from seeking all the help that you need. It does get better over time, it may not seem like it on some days but you got this and sounds like you have a great support system to be by your side through it all.
Post partum depression is a real thing. And it is very common but can vary widely. You need to talk to your doctor. It can get very bad. Everything you have gone through and are feeling is very natural and every mother has felt some of this to some degree!
This is not uncommon! You may be experiencing post party depression. In addition to this, you just had major surgery, which also takes its toll! Please talk to your obgyn as soon as possible, as this is definitely treatable.
As for the poor latch, did anyone check to see if the baby is tongue tied? Many babies who have difficulty feeding are found to have this. It is simple to fix, but can be very frustrating if not dealt with!
Give yourself a pat on the back, for having the courage to reach out for advice and help!
Hi, I’m so proud of you for reaching out. That alone is a clear indication of the beautiful life u will give your baby. You are reaching out, therefore you are looking to give your best.
Nothing about motherhood is easy, NOTHING, but you will come thru when you least expect it.
No drugs, no outside counseling will be needed. I’m 63, in my day, you came home from hospital, 80 people at the house, everyone had the baby but you. 80 “experts” surround you and everyone gave you their secrets to raise the perfect child. Every dam day, the doorbell rang five times and the phone never stopped. I made more coffee than dunking, and just wanted to sleep.
Some felt sorry for me, cuz she couldn’t deliver naturally, but after 31 hrs, there was no choice. I couldn’t breast feed, didn’t really want to, to be honest, but I had so many drugs in me I didn’t want baby to have it. Another “sad” thing they felt. By the time all my baby experts got thru with me, depression kicked in, and more experts chimed in. I was an inadequate mess, crying in the shower. The moral of this story is easy in hindsight. Breathe, be you. You carried the baby, and there is nothing wrong with you. All u need is self belief and a chance to breathe. Happy future. Xo
I had post partum depression during my second pregnancy. I barely could function for the first two to three months of my pregnancy and I had a two year old already. I finally went to my doctor and was put on an anti-depressant during my pregnancy. I don’t feel guilty about it at all because I CLDN’T function without it. No one prepares you for how drastic your life changes after giving birth, especially after your first child. You go for sleeping however long you want, pure freedom in every sense to overnight massive change. Some people are able to process that change easily, others aren’t and that’s ok. My first child I was able to breast feed and pump for about 5 to 6 months, my second child about 2 to 3 before my milk dried up. There is this weird standard that new moms or any moms think they need to meet but in reality EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT! That’s what makes us beautiful and different from one another. I wld definitely seek out some counseling for yourself. And don’t forgot to pat yourself on the back because you are ok and you will get through this.
One month after an operation and still with hormones coursing thru your system? Give yourself a break. It’ll take a while yet.
First of all, is there any way you can stay home from work a couple of months? That may help to ease your transition.
Breastfeeding is not the only way to be a good mother. As long as the baby is properly fed, feed him, hold him play with him, give him all the love you are capable of. Unfortunately, Breastfeeding sometimes is not an option for many of us. I had to bottle feed my first child, and suffered a horrible case of depression. Yes, I came through, but its nothing to take lightly, sounds like you at least have support from family.
Break down your time , and do small tasks so you can start regaining your self confidence.
Prayer helped me.
Best wishes and enjoy your little one!
The best way to manage your depression is by asking for help. It will all work out in time.
Tell your doc and get Counseling. Meds. Find some time to yourself. I was a single mom of 2 for 10 yrs. Alone w no family. Had c sections w both. I tried to find a bit of time after bed times to watch shows i liked or read. Routine is key. I worked and went to school and got my BA. I had ppd w my first.
Talk to your OBGYN it sounds like postpartum and as far as breastfeeding it’s disappointing but a feed baby is a happy baby.
Get out in nature as much as possible, eat clean as close to naturalfoods as possible, non preservatives food, sugar is a demon!! start your day with a glass of lemon water to balance your alkaline, pamper yourself with a skin routine, bubble bath manicure pedicure, massage… keep your communication open with your health care provider, husband, and look in the mirror everyday and be proud of yourself. Your amazing!! You got this!
it kind of sounds as if you might have postpartum depression. go see a doctor before it get’s worse. that aside, there’s nothing wrong with you. from what i’ve seen here, your doing a great job. it’s natural to get tired, moody, and lethargic. but it doesn’t stop you from caring for your son.
Please talk honestly with your doctor. There is help. You are not alone.