So did he have sex with someone else? Or was he talking on the phone? I am not saying talking on the phone with another girl is ok , just needed clarification.
When your man cheats on you at your lowest point shows exactly how shits gonna be in the long runā¦ which was when I was pregnant he tried too ā¦ if not ā¦ your mind is going to drive you insane ! Trust me Iām living it !
Time. Time is the only thing that will allow you to truly trust him again. In my situation, very similar to yours, although, we were only dating at the time, it took years. Yes, I have fully forgiven him and trust him implicitly. As far as going fishing w him, stand up for yourself!!! And stand up for your SON. Having a newborn out fishing isnāt safe with all the bugs around the water. Counseling would probably help tremendously. If not couples counseling, counseling for YOU. The first time telling him āno Iām not goingā is the hardest. After that itās much easier. Good luck. 
4 Likes
Once hes cheated once on you usually means he will do it again cause he got away with it the first time!!
4 Likes
My ex cheated on me the first year after was good because he was trying to make up for his actions then he slowy went back to his he treated me before I donāt think he cheated but my point is guys never change once they treat you a certain best they get use to it and they will always be that way, if you want my opinion leave donāt look back Iām the happiest Iāve been in years Iām the old me again.
5 Likes
The fact you just gave birth to his son he was already cheating shows you the answer and what your future will be . He already knows youāre not going to go with him fishing but he is asking just to throw you off so you cant accuse him. I would leave now alot of singles moms have made it
16 Likes
He is portraying narcissistic behavior. Get out Girlā¦ It is not going to get better
5 Likes
Iāve been where you are. That sounds like the beginning stages of narcissismā¦and it will get progressively worse
5 Likes
Why canāt he compromise? Maybe fish one day in the morning or evening so itās not too hot & then another day you all go out to dinner or a movie? He sounds kinda selfish to me ! Especially cheating while you brought his child into the world.
3 Likes
Um. I want to say love conquers all, if you want something bad enough itāll happen, but these are all words we read in memes on Facebook. Bullshit most of it. You could spend years putting yourself last and it will get you nowhere in the end. Run. Now. While you still have your self respect.
Trust has to be earnedā¦if ever you get it backā¦i didnt anfd it ruined my marriage. I know its hard but if it was me I would call it quits to save more aggrivationā¦if he can cheat on you when youve just given birth to his child you cant get much lower than thatā¦you have to make a choiceā¦good luck
2 Likes
Girl, give that man some more rope. See what he does w/it, & thatāll be your answer right there. Regardless of your situation, you donāt deserve to stay in a relationship with someone who doesnāt cherish you. You deserve much better then the treatment your getting & personally I wouldnāt want to have to go everywhere w/my partner for fear of cheating or to watch him to make sure he doesnāt. Sounds more miserable then it would be to kick him to the curb 
7 Likes
I mean, I wouldnāt have stayed with him when he cheated . Why would you want to raise a child with someone who doesnāt even love you enough to be there for you when you give birth to your son? That says it all right there. I guess I donāt really have advice for you.
2 Likes
So he was unfaithful at a time when you were at your most vulnerable. Now he wants to completely inconvenience both you and baby so that you āwonāt accuse him againā? As though you were in the wrong for catching him in his unfaithfulness and having an issue with it? He is weaponizing his poor choice against both you and baby. You can try therapy (both solo for you and couples counseling) and probably should so you can be confident that you left no stone unturned. But having walked a very similar path, I would say youād save time and a lot of heartbreak if you just got rid of this man now. Iām so sorry. This isnāt how these early baby days are supposed to be. 
9 Likes
why are some men so shit? 
iām sorry girl. 
just never blame yourself.
Honestly heās manipulating you, he knows you probably donāt want to go out with him fishing as much because of the fact you have a baby the rest is BS I donāt buy that you can check on me crap heās trying to turn tables here
4 Likes
Yikes. I couldnāt get passed that.
Cheating means its over.
5 Likes
I know everyone one else is saying leave, but I honestly need more information. I mean what was he saying to this woman to make you feel so insecure? Do yāall have a rule in your relationship saying you canāt talk to other guys & he canāt talk to other girls. I just donāt see how him talking to another girl is considered cheating without knowing the conversation you overheard. What was the conversation about?
8 Likes
Iām sorry that your so sad but if he didnāt sleep with anyone just texting it can be fixed see a counselor
1 Like
Anytime any kind of trust is broken, whether cheating or breaking trust by making a bad financial decision, etc you have to decide if you want to stay or leave. It sounds like you want to stay. When my husband and I had trust issues after having our son, my therapist recommended this book. Itās extremely helpful.
I Love You But I Donāt Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425245314/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_6RWHWFB5B94MY1KV8BES
2 Likes
A rough patch? Youāre really letting him make you think it was because of a rough patch? Yikes. Girl, just leave. He cheated because he cheated. No excuses.
5 Likes
If heās gonna cheat you controlling him wonāt stop it. He will find a way. So give him freedom and if he abuses it leave.
4 Likes
Iād suggest doing individual therapy and also couples therapy, with different therapists. I donāt believe tigers change their stripes, myself.
4 Likes
Heās not doing anything for you
Heās inconveniencing you
Time for the table to flip.
2 Likes
He is selfish. If he wants to cheat he can find the way to even if you go with him every time fishing.
2 Likes
When you say he cheated do you mean that he slept with somebody else,or do you mean the cheat was just talking to somebody, and was the talking him planning to get together with somebody. Iām not usually on Side of the cheater but Iām not sure if he actually cheated I say give it time let him build up trust with you , I have a feeling his family is very important to him
4 Likes
Sorry but need more infoā¦talking to another girlā¦soooo what was the conversation? Was there already rules set in place that NEITHER could speak with the opposite sex. Sorry but just talking to another person isnt cheating, but pending the rules of the relationship could be crossing a boundry.
We only see a small portion of what you tell us and NOT the entire back ground/picture.
If you BOTH want it to work then put in the actual work to make it happen. Go to counseling, therapy or whatever you want to call it. You can absolutely move past it. But it takes work, hard work and BOTH people have to actually WANT it.
He sounds selfish, and emotionally immature. The amount of fishing he does is an act of escapism from his responsibilities at home, as well as just facing normal life.
He has coping mechanism issues, and needs better priorities.
This is where you have to decide if the trust issues as well as his priority issues are something you can live with. You canāt make him or anyone else change. He has to want to, and it clearly seems like he doesnāt.
Insert your boundaries and if yāall canāt come to a compromise in how heās spending his time and if you canāt trust him, Iād be looking for a way out.
2 Likes
See i dont play you can easily get a STI or STDās i would of went and got baby everything for the sun (sunblock,outfit,something for shade,things for you as well) you come no worries no insecuries your all there family day lol girl its your choice end of day though trust definitely has to ne earned so if theres extra check in questions, passwords on phones know ectā¦ Whatever to feel comfortable to make it work nothing worth it is easy remember but you both have to want this its a team effort! Blessings!
I wouldnāt be able to get past it. Especially the timing of itā¦
8 Likes
Why not just go with an umbrella and the baby and go and start building that trust and quality time.
3 Likes
You canāt, once a cheater, always a cheater. Getting divorced now for this very reason. Fishing was his excuse to get out of the house to be able to cheat. Js. Prayers for you. Know your worth.
2 Likes
First of, i think you need to take some more pride in yourself and ask yourself is this really the guy for you. I understand you think you love him and i know you just had a baby. But no REAL man would have a need to talk to other women while his SO itās pregnant with his baby. thatās BS!
I know you donāt want to consider this, but maybe he isnāt the right guy for you. You can save yourself all this heartache, and any more in the future by moving on from this relationship. Maybe itās time for another 7 year break.
IFā¦ You choose to stay, you canāt keep this hanging above his head. You either move on past this and trust him, or your move on and leave him.
They say forgive and forgetā¦ well Iāve found that forgiving was doable, but forgetting was impossible. And the hurt stays with you, and comes back 10 fold if it ever happens again.
Trust is like paperā¦ once itās crumpled it canāt ever be perfectā¦
You have to decide if you can move on from here, if not, itās only fair your let him go. He doesnāt deserve to be reminded of it constantly either. Itās gonna eat at both of yāallās relationship, and ruin it in the end anyways.
9 Likes
I would make it very clear that you love him but if you ever find out again you will leave there will be no warning you will pick up and leave so if you and your child mean anything to him that will end. Then I would get an app on his phone that lets you see what goes on there are some that you donāt even need the code to this phone you can do it without his phone start looking into them the be prepared
This is so long but I wanted to get everything out because I know how it is trying to stay with a cheaterā¦I tried it over 10 years ago.
In my opinionā¦in YOUR realityā¦you wonāt ever get over itā¦thatās why a lot of people break up/divorce either as soon as possible or after theyāve realize that they canāt get over it & pretend like it never happened because once that trust is brokenā¦itās broken. For someā¦their cheating partners become strangers when they break the trust and they donāt want to live the lifestyle of all that extra āworkā thatās involved with remaining with a cheaterā¦itās draining, unproductive, unprogressive, & you basically have to āsikeā yourself out in order to trust (fake trust) a cheater again (mental strain), you have to live a life of pretending like they never cheated (emotional strain), & you have to continuously live a life of telling yourself that they arenāt cheating (in any manner) even though you donāt know for sure (physical/vocal self-control strain).
Youāre going to strain yourself regardless trying to maintain a lifestyle with a cheaterā¦the messed up part is while youāre doing all that strainingā¦ maintaining & containing your draining self-control by not confronting them about anything suspiciousā¦theyāre living their lifeā¦happily & is possibly still cheating or will cheat again (in any form).
Some couples remain together after realizing that theyāre with a cheater for their own reasons but Iām guessing that theyāre silently miserable in some form but having their needs/wants met (on a spectrum) is helping them ādealā with itā¦ignoring it.
Regardless of what some people are saying/askingā¦as far as they want/need to know what was he saying/texting to that other woman so that THEY can determine if he was actually cheating or notā¦IT DONāT MATTER. If YOU feel that he was cheating then thatās all that matters. YOUāRE the one going through what youāre going through/feeling what youāre feeling. These strangers canāt help YOU rethink/reform how you feel about it based off of what THEY believe is actual cheating from their perceptions. Cheating is on a spectrum because weāre all individuals and we all donāt perceive nor accept things the same nor live the complete same lifestyles. Some people can āsikeā themselves out immediately and others can do it over time and let things go because cheating doesnāt have the same definition for everyone.
What matters is how it made you feel/makes you still feelā¦you felt/feel like he cheatedā¦period.
The way itās bothering youā¦you will always be bothered because youāre not the type who can āsikeā yourself out, if you were that typeā¦you wouldnāt of made this postā¦you wouldāve immediately āsikedā yourself out for whatever reason(s).
Being that I donāt know your situation as far as if you can leave him or notā¦Iām wishing you the best, more strength, & a peace of mindā¦if you do remain with him for whatever reasonā¦focus on enjoying your babyā¦donāt let him take that away from you by you focusing on what he did, by what he may still be doing, and what he may do again.
1 Like
When you start to trust it will happen again
1 Like
Cheating the day after you gave birth is not a ārough patchā. Completely disrespectful and you have every right to feel the way you do. However, if youāre going to stay with him, you have to fully forgive him. It doesnt mean forget what he did but forgive him and āstart overā in a sense. You canāt keep harboring those feelings. Youāll never trust him unless you let it go completely. And with doing that, be mindful that it could be enabling him as well. So think it through, do you want to truly forgive and start overā¦ Or do you need time to yourself and your LO without a relationship? I am not sure when you had your LO, but if it was not too long ago, you are still hormonal and it will make the decision harder. Best of luck to you hun!!
4 Likes
Go through his phone and talking to someone and actually doing the deed arebtwo different things
3 Likes
I was in your shoes I took his phone he didnt have one for a year. We had our ups and downs on the streets without a place to live at. I found out he cheated knowing I was in the hospital with my oldest daughter she was having surgery and I almost lost her. He was my middle school sweet heart 11 years together and he would cheat like crazy, he would stop for a year or two and he did it again and again for so many years he said I worked to much but he still had everything a guy could ask for but I finally had enough and left with our two boys I couldnāt be with a person I didnt trust and would cheat I wasnāt happy anymore. Think about yourself and your child. Some people can change but some people are always a cheater.
go to therapy. helped ot with me. its just something u gotta learn to do if u are gonna stayā¦be lucky it was just talking to someoneā¦mine fucked another when i was pregnant with our son
Sounds to me like he is asking you to spend time with him. Pack a lunch and an umbrella and go spend some quality time with your spouse. So many women complain that their husband wonāt spend time with them.
5 Likes
Donāt put yourself through all of that following torture. As a statement was said already, he will find a way and you canāt stop him. If u canāt trust him maybe its time to make other decisions. Its not a way to live. For ppl saying talking isnāt cheating. If men keep conversations that they have with other womenā¦thats shady. I dont play that. I dont talk to other men, I expect to be treated the same. Old School Rules.
1 Like
Why is there a need for him to inconvenience you, to drag you along and babysit him because of his bad choices? Itās his hobby, either you go because you want to, or donāt? Heās gaslighting. Heāll keep doing it and then turn around and say āhow am I cheating on you, youāre always with me.ā
2 Likes
Wean the baby , go out , he is not living the same life or family you are, he cheated on one of the most important days of your and his life, get a job become independent so you can support yourself and your son,respect yourself
3 Likes
trust is something that is earned, He , I would say is trying, since he wants you to go with him, Everything else is on you. There is nothing we can say to you to make you trust him, Itās all on him & you
1 Like
Heās still cheating and u r still buying his stories
Honestly you will never 100% trust him again, I know I never could.
That was one of my boundaries and I donāt give second chances on cheating or abuse of any kind.
Donāt care how long weāve been together or how much I love them, I put me ans my mental health first!
If yāall even have a chance you need therapy together. He has alot of work to do to build that trust with his actions. Tell him to switch his fishing days with family fays and date days untill baby is older. He donāt need to be out anywear by himself for a wile because honestly you will think about it and worry every time he is away from you, thats the price you both pay for his cheating.
1 Like
Someone can cheat once and truely regret it and never cheat again. They choose not to cheat again because they couldnāt bare to see you hurt again Ava know they caused that pain, and because they love you and donāt want anyone else and learned from their mistake. If you feel he is truly sorry and you see him really trying, give him the chance to prove himself. Randomly ask to use his phone for something to see if he allows. A person cheats once and it may be a mistake, but more than once is a choice and there wouldnāt be a chance for it to happen a 3rd time.
4 Likes
Let me get this straight, the solution to HIS problem, is to put YOU out? So essentially, youāre paying the consequences for his actions. Why isnāt he making you a and your baby a priority by making family time on the weekends? He was selfish when he made the choice to cheat on you and heās being selfish now.
9 Likes
I AM NOT SURE I COULD HAVE GOTTEN OVER THIS . AFTER ALL YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER A C SECTION AND HE CHEATS , YOU NEED TO DUMP Y\THIS GUY , ONCE a cheat always a cheat
8 Likes
Pump them boobies get a sitter and go fishing with your man 2 to 3 hrs. I was in the same situation not cheating but finding a common ground. My other half loves to fish. He busts his ass at his miserable job and itās his outlet. Over the years Iāve been going and now I canāt wait to have the opportunity to fish with him. Its something that brings us close together. It may not be fishing for ya but there has to be something you can do together to āget awayā from it all, even if itās just an hour. Enjoying something to do together is a great way to come together.
Gtfo now! You will never fully recover that. I meanā¦like did you READ what you wrote? THE DAY AFTER GIVING BIRTH!!! One of the most important days of your life where he needs to be attending to your every need, helping you heal, and celebrating his new child! But instead heās talking up some rando. GET MAD!!! Screw his fishing. Screw his cheating. But most importantly SCREW HIM! Get out
14 Likes
once a cheater always a cheater a dog doesnt change his spots over night go look for love somewhere else you dont need a std on top of his cheating
2 Likes
I was in your shoes. My husband and I been together 20+ years. After our 3rd baby ( maybe a month later ) I caught him on tinder. Then I went throw his phone and found like 6 or 7 different dating/f-buddy sites. Just recently I caught a weird charged on our bank account for tagged. He denied it. I had the bank file fraud on the charge ( his card of course) I wish I would have left. Apparently he was on them sites for 6plus years. Now we just get along for the kids. No sex life. ( pregnant again ) (sec like once a month)
You want different opinions? I assume your about 30 judging by the numbers you stated so if average lifespan of 80 gives you 50 more years to live, how bout you put 18,000 beans in a jar to represent days you have left and then decide how many more of your incredibly precious beans you want to give to a man who betrays you then head trips you to attend his fishin trips to free him from suspicion, love him if you want to, trust him if you dare to, but always remember that precious, irreplaceable, jar of beans
17 Likes
Once a cheater always one,you gave him your permission now to cheat again by staying with him after catching him.
Leopardās NEVER EVER change their spots!
2 Likes
Was your ābreakā due to cheating? If so you know what they say you cant teach a old dog new tricks the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results
3 Likes
Get out while you can and save yourself alot of heartache.
Iām sorry I cannot understand how anyone can forgive cheating in general, but cheating while youāre bringing his child into the world?! Hell no.
5 Likes
First he needs to earn it to do this on that day WOW low in would move on it will happen again
Next! Because you deserved better and u both know that!!
Marriage consulting may help with any issues and talking it out to someone to doesnāt know you or your backstory really does wonders.
We went to one. D found out I was sexting some dude because he rather have alcohol be his wife than I. He has been like that since our son was born. I had so much resentment towards him and he never gave me attention. I went about it the wrong way. And yes I considering sexting cheating. I recently found out he was messaging his hs sweetheart 2 months after he had asked me to marry him. Her husband told me on FB. D had deleted the convo since it would hurt me and he didnāt want me to get hurt. He never said a word during our consulting sessions but had no issues making me feel like a failure. Together 11 years. 4 years was my sexting, 6 years was his proposal for a time line. We are working on things. It has gotten better with time.
People can change HOWEVER he needs to prove it to you and you need to be willing to put in the time as well. Itās not easy but it sounds like he is trying to be transparent by inviting you along. If you donāt want to go, pick a date further out to go with him. If youāre comfortable with him going fishing, great! If not, communicate that. If he really wants to work it out, heāll do everything in his power to give you that reassurance.
2 Likes
Past time to move on.
I had a csection 12 weeks ago, spent 5 days in the hospital due to some health issues, my fiance never not once left my side. He went home and showered, stopped and saw our 10yo for a few minutes, and came right back to the hospital. We spoke to other family members besides our 10yo 1x to announce the babys birth and show her off. Other then that we enjoyed that special time together getting to know and enjoy our new baby. Had he been texting and chatting up some other woman during that time, i would have had him removed from the hospital. If he wants to be with another woman by all means have at it, but putting that attention on her instead of your new baby is absolutely unacceptable and i dont need you in my way/taking that time from me if you dont really want to be there. Id never tell someone to leave unless theyāre being abused, but i will tell you to do some serious soul searching. You know him unlike any of us, so you are the only one to say if he was sincere with his apology and promises to not do it again. Only you can decide if you want to stay, work on things, and trust his words and learn to trust him again. But him expecting you to babysit him when you have a new baby to care for bc he stepped out is ridiculous. He needs to be at home with yall, helping you with the babe and the house. Fishing can wait or at least be cut back to 1x a month. Id let him know he needs to get his priorities in check and decide whats really important to him and that at this point his words mean shit. So he needs to step up and put in action, bc thatll be the only way to repair the damage thats been done. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.
Just because he talked to a girl does mean he cheated.
If you want to make it work he needs to be transparent and patient. It will take time, especially with the hormones after pregnancy. Iām sorry that you are going through this. Maybe he needs to hold off on fishing and spend the time working on your relationship and stay home with your little family. Good luck.
1 Like
Once a cheeter. Always a cheater
Talking isnāt cheating. For Peteās sake.
1 Like
You never trust him again.
Once a cheater,Always a cheater.
2 Likes
Me and my finance are rolling into year 4 we have a 3 year old together i have to older from other relationshipsā¦ The 6 months we was so i thought only fwbā¦ So Months 6 to 12ā¦ We didnt have a 100% clear communication i thought he was seeing other ppl at least he absolutely had the choice because i was still seeing other people at the timeā¦ Turns out i had misconstrued things saidā¦ Mind you at this time we spoke different languages so miscommunication wasnt hardā¦ Well year one rolls passed and year 2 starts our relationship really progresses as i was pregnantā¦ But for the months prior once i relised he wanted more then fwb i buckled down and was only with himā¦ But when he found out those months i was seeing someone else he was devastated and then i was because i would never intentionally hurt this man I loved him from the beginning i didnt think he wantwd commitment at least thats what me communicated to me that first year so i thought things where fineā¦ But he felt like i cheatedā¦and i wanted it to work we had baby on the wayā¦ We worked thru it ā¦ Not saying a little jealousy or insecurity dont shine thru once in a while it doesā¦ But we love each other and we work through itā¦ He is the man who lights my soul on fireā¦ Going into 4 years he can still do those little things that makes me wanna drop everything and surrender to him right thenā¦ So if you love each other and want it to workā¦ You together can figure it outā¦ Best of luckā¦ Sorry for the long postā¦ But your not aloneā¦ And you need to know thatā¦ People says once a cheater always oneā¦ But i have never not once thought about another man since i commited to mineā¦ And after all that happened in the beginningā¦ People change and grow upā¦ Some grow apartā¦ Do what feels right to you
Leave baby just up and go
My sons dad done the same to me for 4.5yrs on and off behind my back back the same girl and again just as recently as a few days ago so I gave that bitch the flick and I mean him! DECIETFUL and I gave birth to our son on my own as he up and left the hospital and has his sister and mum tell me he couldnāt be located when I was asking where he was as I just gave birth to our son alone.
And I find out he told this other girl who is 15yrs younger then him which is my daughters age ans he tells her he lies to me as he donāt wish to upset me but he donāt want to choose between me or her ans she a friend he says
Pffft taking my kids and laterz
Cheating does not just mean sleeping with someone
As soon as your hiding things from your other half, disrespecting their feelings and itās for another woman or man friend or FO then thatās cheating to me
1 Like
Personally I think you deserve better than someone cheating on you while you are pregnant. As for his fishing trips that is a no go. He is a parent now. He needs to help you with his child.
You are an extremely kind person to even try to forgive this person. However, if he isnāt willing to do the work you may want to move on with your life and be happy.
Leave now! Donāt waste years of your life and then leave. He obviously donāt want to be in The family unit and sounds like he just wants to be away from yāall at work or fishing.
2 Likes
Does he not trust himself ā¦ why does he want you with himā¦ bless you you should be at home with your baby ā¦ sorry but he has the issues not you ā¦ all the best !!!
Is he only talking to friends who happen to be female??? I have always had lots of male friends besides the one I married. I talk to them ALL the time. I think you are over reacting!!!
1 Like
I dont trust anyone anymore. He was cheating by texting? Was it more then that? Or just talking to another woman. I personally feel like it would depend on the communication. But if he was being sneaky and hiding her from you then yes this was cheating. Itās your life to live and if you cant move past his actions then you will never be happy. I feel you already know the answers to your own questions and just need to be justified in whatever actions you take. This is not our choice. You need to look out for you and your baby. Best of luck
Not mom shaming but itās getting pretty hot and the baby should not be out in the heat unless you are under shade. You need to recover and take care of you and baby not be out in the heat just because dad wants to fish that is selfish of him. He is making you feel guilty for calling him out on his actions.
1 Like
He should be pleasing you doing what you wonāt and giving you his phone if he is trying to make it right and showing you he is being faithful if he really loved you, suggest seeing a marriage counselor thatās a start!
First off I donāt blame you for not wanting to have the baby out in the heat. He should consider your feelings on that. But may I say I must be cheating on my husband a lot everyday because I have all kinds of guy friends on Facebook I talk to. including my ex lol but heās like family lol my point to that is itās just a cell phone you canāt actually cheat on your partner by talking to somebody. Anyhow I mean I can understand it would upset you with you giving birth and he was talking to a lady but thatās not considered cheating. And may I add as a mom you donāt get days off and you donāt get sick days either youāre a mom. I get no days off okay I get in the truck everyday with being the only person with a driverās license I drive my husband two jobs I work with him and take care of my child by the way on these jobs I come home I do all my chores cooking and cleaning 7 days a week even if Iām sick. All in all I even help my husband work when the customers let me and my daughter swim in their pools. I take care of my dogs my neighbors my husband my child everyone! I help my husband work in the hot Florida heat in the middle of summer 100Ā° and plus weather you know and we trim palm trees we cut trees down he builds homes sheds cutting peopleās yards you name it. Like I said youāre a mom you donāt get a break. Try doing all that with a baby I did. And a toddler how about trying to keep the toddler away from your husband trimming trees and trying to keep them from getting hurt all day. Thatās hard. And I donāt get on Facebook and complain and b**** and moan LOL! Life is Life sometimes you have to take it the way it is you know and it sucks.
Let him know the scenario after divorce, he has to pay you alimony and child support up yo age 18 and you can continue it up to age 24 for school tuitions, he also has to accept being a weekend father and the fact that his child will have a stepdad. You deserve a faithful and loving man! donāt settle for less, teach that to your daughter too.
1 Like
This is the thing, the guy gives you trust issues and now makes you come fishing with him so youāll trust himā¦ something your not interested in doing right now with the babyā¦
if heās that concerned he can stay home with you or do something else with you that everyone can enjoy ā¦so that you are comfortable and stop selfishly dragging you out to fish because that is what he wants to do 
5 Likes
RUN. Run far and run fast.
Talking on the phone?? Was there more than a phone conversation?
2 Likes
Leave. Stop kidding yourself. Youāve wasted 12-13 years already, donāt waste anymore.
Nothing here to talk about,(LEAVE HIM) hes no good
You now have a child for one, he should be staying home to help you and spend time with his baby. Fishing is now a luxury and should be done on a limited basis. As far as trusting him again, good luck. Thatās one of the hardest things to get past.
1 Like
Once a cheater always a cheater just the way it is and you need to ask him for help during the week too it does not matter if he has a job or not heās the father so he should help out at all times even getting up in the middle of the night and early mornings to help you feed the baby even bring the baby to you change the diaper itās no excuse if you canāt trust him why be with him thatās not real love there if youāre constantly having to worry yourself about him cheating again because I guess you donāt feel like he got the attention he deserved which was bad on him. Heās not a man he cheated on you right after the baby or any other time it donāt matter cheating is cheating you donāt love somebody if you cheated on them maybe itās time for a real break up and you go your separate ways Iāll just single mother of my entire life and my 11 year old had him at a young age itās hard but youāre a mother youāre going to make it you have to for your child good luck mama
Iād run like hell, child or no child. 13 years or 50 years. It does not get better 9 times out of 10 unfortunately. This is so sad.
14 Likes
If he actually cheated on you, the day after having your baby, then you cannot trust him. If he is just talking to other girls, well talk to him about it. However I would say that you need to get a degree and a good paying job, cause down the road, you are going to be supporting yourself and baby. Cheaters, for the most part, do not stop. It is a game to them. If you already have a career, great, cause you are going to need it more than likely. Sorry
17 Likes
Slightly unrelated (not a mom so a genuine thought) could you pump and freeze some breast milk so that way you arenāt so tied to home? My stepmom ran a daycare and would be given bags of frozen milk for some of the infants from their mothers. That may help for you to be able to go out a bit more (like on a date with not this guy 
)
14 Likes
Cheats the day you give birth to his son? He sees no problem in taking an infant into the elements; the heat, the bugs so HE can fish? He doesnāt seem to give your feelings a second thought. Sounds a bit like a narcissist. YouTube how to identify toxic partners. Of course he tells you he doesnāt talk to other girls! You think heās going to tell you otherwise? He has VERY little respect for you or your baby. Thereās so many red flags flying!!! Good thing isā¦is youāre seeing them. Itās guaranteed this situation will only get worse. Apparently there are deep reasons why you took a ā7-year break.ā Remember why that had to happen. WHAT YOU ALLOW WILL CONTINUE. I wish you and your sweet baby peace. 
PS: Isnāt it true that what you eat and how you feel all transfers into your breast milk? . Think about the little one.
14 Likes
He needs to earn your trust and it sounds like he is doing his very best hun. Aleast he is trying to fix it and make you feel more secure. Him trying even the slightest speaks volumes.
One of the problems is that he has not made you his wife and giving you his last name and you have bore his son! Iām so sick of females thinking that they are nothing else but a wife in training! Heās talking to other girls on the phone and he has not made a commitment to you totally. Living together having babies and paying bills together is not a marriage it is a placeholder until something else comes along! Many people say marriage is just a piece of paper it is more than that because it is ordained by God. If you donāt trust him itās time to go your separate way! Donāt say I donāt want to bother him during the week because he works! Many women work and still hold down a house as a single parent for deadbeat dads. He can still give you time to go to the spa when he comes home in the evenings. Having children is a full-time job even when you are away from them. You are giving him a pass to do whatever he wants doing the week while you tire. The time he spent talking to someone else on the phone he could have been doing something with the baby while you have some free time to yourself! They donāt be as tired as we think! They have plenty of time on their hand because we make excuses as to why they should not partake and housework and child-rearing. I hope everything works out for you!
2 Likes
Hi yeah had a similar thing minus the childbirth. I donāt know if itās something you can ever fully let go of, but if theyāre making the effort on their end to make you feel better about your relationship, then all you can do is go headfirst back into it and keep a check on your insecurities.
Itās a conscious choice.
Youāre both either in or out and it is what it is.
2 Likes
If he gives you cause for continued suspicion, then end it! If you just canāt get over it, get help! Without trust you have no relationship so even tho he is the cause you may have to bear the burden. Look for the answers in your heart and have the courage to do what must be done for your sake and that of your child. Remember your relationship is the model for your familyās children.
2 Likes