This guy is a narcassist tske thst new bsby and forge s good and free life on uour own, msny women do, it will get worse if you dont leave
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Donât stay because of the baby! Get full custody and get out! If heâs threatening you, report him and get a restraining order. Be done with him, the sooner, the better for both you and your son!
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Good advice listed above as far as the cheating goes. As far as him wanting you to go fishing with him so you canât accuse him of cheatingâŚâŚyou donât have to go. You need a break to do what you want too. He is the one who got caught. You shouldnât have to bow to what he wants to do just so he can do it and sacrifice what you want. You two will have to get to a point where you can let him go one way and you another and be happy about it. Tell him you need a break too. He had a part in making your baby. Let him tend to it some too , during the week as well as on weekends. Remember- If you donât speak up, itâs your own fault.
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Focus on your baby, donât worry about this guy. Pray a lot that his heart will change. Lean on the lord and be kindâŚhe will get you thru it. Forgiveness is powerful. Your sadness will affect your baby. Give your baby lots of love and care.
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The best comment i ever received in this similar situation was from a clinical psychologistâŚâits not so much that you dont trust him, its that he is untrustworthy.â Its HIS job to prove to you that he deserves your trust. Also, that dear child is his too. Sometimes you have to sacrifice your âwantsâ when becoming a family. He has responsibilities to your child too.
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I hope you find the strength to move on and find someone who loves you the way deserve with loyalty. You should have been celebrating the best time of your lives together when bringing your child into the world and he decides to be garbage. Youâll never find that same inner peace again with this guy. I know it is hard but you deserve so much better than to feel this way. Best wishes!
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If you canât forgive and move on then youâll never be happy sometimes the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do for you, my man cheated alot but I forgave took along time for me to stop accusing him but he also doesnât get mad cause he understands why ya know
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Just my feelings, but I think once a cheater always a cheater. He may never do it again, but I would not be able to fully trust him again. That isnât how I would want to spend my life
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Once a cheater always a cheater. just because you have a kid together doesnât mean you have to stick it out with him itâs better to have a happy home then a broken one where you are with him for the kids sake. Do what is best for you and your happiness
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The only answer is in you, and the question you should be asking is why your still here.is this the way you want to live the rest of your life? Because heâs not going to change.Heâs happy with the way you treat him your the one unhappy so why would he try?Find a therapist or a good older woman to talk to. You get to decide who you want to be how people treat you. respect yourself you know what you have to do.
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this is so heartbreaking my lovely, let him go, its like popping a big spot it hurts and itâs messy but that puss has gotta go! sure you will feel a little sore for a while afterwards and maybe be left with a tiny scar but thatâs OK that soreness will fade the scar will heal and you will blossom without him xxxx
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Sadly the trust you had for him will never be fully repaired. My baby daddy was on a fick me now websight for people in your area, I found out after I had our son while still in the hospital. I never fully loved him again and 7 years later I wish I would have left back then.
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Iâd say just leave him when your mentally able to. To be talking to another woman while in the hospital is the utmost disrespect .What was he telling her, hold on baby I canât see you right now , the woman Iâm with is giving birth to our child . Yea I would separate and work on co parenting.and getting along.that way. I could never forgive someone doing that to me.on a day so special. She obviously is that important he couldnât give it a rest for a few days .Like Iâm pissed and I wasnât the one cheated on.
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Run!!! A day after a C Section youâre laying in a hospital bed and his reaction it to talk to another girl I donâtcare if it was friendly or not unless it was his mother, sister, or another family memberâŚhe has no respect for you or his child
You either accept that it happened, and move forward and try to trust him even if its hard. Or you donât and your relationship fails in which case you should just leave him. No trust=no relationship and if you force a relationship with no trust its just toxic. I wouldnât stay tbh, if I was you Iâd get out of that relationship real quick.
I would leave him immediately girl. Once a cheater always a cheater. And once that kind of trust is broken in the relationship, and you are still having these thoughts. That means the relationship is as good as over anyways in your heart because without trust there is no good foundation for a relationship.
Stop feeling guilty and confused. Heâs gaslighting you. Heâs trying to put it on you to fix the fact that he cheated by making you go with him fishing and keep an eye on him. He should be begging for your forgiveness and doing everything in his power to make you feel like you can trust him again. NOT you having to go with him or watch him. To be honest, he shouldnât even be going fishing right now anyway when you have a newborn and need both emotional and physical support. He needs to step upâŚand it still is incredibly hard to rebuild that trustâŚbut if he doesnât try than thatâs on him. NOT you! Be strong. Donât let him manipulate you.
If heâs cheated he will keep doing it plus the trust is gone. Just because you have a baby with him doesnât mean anything. Make arrangements through court on visitation. And hell no I wouldnât take my baby out in the heat
He doesnt deserve you and the family and cant be trusted. YOU have to think of yourself and your kid. Iâd try to start a life without his mess. He wont be true and if you keep taking him back he will know he can just do whatever he wants. I DONT think you can go back but you can move forward.
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You can only manage yourself, you can not manage anyone else. Do you manage the buss driver or train conductor ? Do you manage the store clerk or cashier? You can not be a control freak and be happy. Donât you have any male friends? If you do when you talk to these males are you cheating? Have some trust and faith in your man for heavens sake! Or⌠always be unhappyâŚ
A man that has strayed from a long loving relationship is bad ,you will never trust him again,itâs not worth carrying on for the sake of it and believe me I know !
It sounds to me like he wants you to do all the work, not only parenting for your child but to ensure you still feel safe in the relationship. Is he making any effort? Fishing or hobbies in general donât need to be a priority with a new baby and severe relationship issues, regardless of his work schedule. You are also working hard. You have been with this man for a long time so sometimes it can be hard to remember what a healthy relationship feels like. Write down the pros and cons of your relationship. Write down the things you want in a relationship and what you donât. I think you already know your answer but sometimes seeing things written out can help. I wish you strength mama.
This is from experienceâŚ
You can either let him go or let it go the beat you can, you will never forget but you can forgive. It will ALWAYS be at the back of your mind the minute something seems weird. Which is unfair to you both if he is behaving. BUT like I tell my husband, you CAN NOT get mad at me for questioning doesnât matter how much time goes by when YOU ARE the one that broke the trust in the first place.
If he is going to be unfaithful, whether you go fishing with him, he sits with you at home, or is glued to your hip, he will find a way.
It takes a LONG time to deal with the hurt, if you ever do. I still havenât and its yearsâŚ
So basically his cheating was talking on the phone. Ask yourself this is your jealousy worth your relationship, because that is where it will head. Why can you not pump some breast milk out and go with him. Sounds like your man feels left out of your life other than the dumb jealousy
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Donât stay if it becomes any more abusive. Respect, faith, trust, if you donât have it now, you may never have it here.
The hurt and pain never goes away you just have to go on with life⌠if I were you I would pump some milk and take a break they have freezer bags for breast milkâŚtry not to dwell on the past and think of the futureâŚpray about it
So probably not the question everyone else has, but was he literally just talking to a girl or like talking about doing things with this person? There are a lot of details that need to be included and also sounds like you guys might just need couples counseling, depending on the extent of cheating. If youâve been together since high school, Iâd say you clearly love each other and probably should just talk with a neutral third party (psychotherapist, specifically marriage and family therapist)
This is such a hot mess. A seven year break? What?? Why would you ever rekindle something with someone who allowed you to get away for 7 years? This is some craziness.
I am in the same shoe as u. He cheated on me several times. Been with this guy for 11 years on and off. Now I am blaming myself for going back to this guy bcuz they will never change. No matter how much u think itâs gonna get better. U cannot change anybody. If they cheated on u once, they will do it again. 
We deserve to be happy.
This is weird controlling behavior. No one should be forced to do anythingâŚespecially sit in the hot sun with a nursing baby. Run girl. Run.
I say leave! Once a cheater always a cheater. Who needs a man to make their live complete? Youâll find a good man that treats you good, not a cheater & one that helps you out. I did, when I wasnât really looking. Hugs to you
Unless you agree to wipe the slate clean and never bring it up again, itâs just going to cause issues, constantly. If someone is going to cheat itâll happen regardless, babysitting them isnât the answer. As far as some help on the weekend, pretty difficult when youâre the food source. Baby doesnât need to be out in the heat on a fishing excursion.
You will never totally get over it cause it will always be back of your mind. Anyone that tells you that you will is lying to you and things will never be the same
Ummmm, Heâs supposed to earn back YOUR TRUST - NOT drag you around with him. Itâs not On YOU to somehow magically forgive him! Sounds like he needs to stay home with his family and put his âfishingâ to the side for a bit. Sorry but he sounds like a terrible partner. Itâs just the beginning. But you will realize it eventually.
Child or no child, 13 years is easier to walk away from than 30 yearsâŚ
From what you say he sounds like an immature jerk sounds like you have a long history with him and now a child in the midst of all this. While your giving birth for him heâs lining up his next victim think about that and then make your decision. These situations rarely end well. Maybe one day he will grow up and as usual never admit openly he screwed up but he will to himself. Baby is too young to know whatâs going on maybe a stepdad for him is in order what do you think? Anyway best of luck to you and that little one.
Read The emotionally abused women. That book really opened my eyes.
Sounds like he is punishing you for him cheating. Regardless of his work schedule he should be helping out with his baby when baby is not nursing and shouldnât be out on fishing trips while you donât get a break. His insisting you go so you know he isnât cheating is ridiculous with a newborn. He can go fishing in the future but for now he should be home with both of you and helping out as much as possible. As for you trusting him again thatâs up to you and there is no right answer.
See a couples therapist. Itâs worth every penny and every minute if the therapist is good.
This breaks my heart.
If you have the same cell phone bill, I would request a print out of calls. I have a friend whose spouse minimized his cheating as no big deal when he was conversing with her on & off all day for months.
More than anything,
I would 
pray & ask God to lead me & reveal all truth but I donât expect everyone to do this.
It is very hard to go on after your mate leaves you and I have been divorced 6 years and will never never marry again
Well at the end of the day you have to ask your self do I want to live like this and try and get over it or not you canât constantly throw it up at him or accuse or fight youre choosing to be where you are at right now and heâll never be able to prove to you of heâs not doing something so you have to choose whether to stay or to just let it go and walk away
You will never get over it while you are with him he is a constant reminder of the hurt you went through
Idk honestly if I could forgive that. You having his baby and he is busy chatting with women. Donât let him pass the blame. You both need to talk about the situation and see how it got to that point. Trust is quick to lose and hard to get back. All I can say is that if the relationship ends then just co parent that beautiful baby together.
Nope. Sounds EXACTLY like someone telling my storyâŚget out now and donât look back. Hindsight is 20/20 and love is blindâŚand hell hath no fury , literally.
He wants to he with you and share his interests with you. You all have spent a long time together and now share a child. Maybe you could pump and go out for short tripsâŚif you want a futureâŚyou have to give too. Good luck, congratulations on your babu!!
Trust is everything ! If you cannot trust him why be with him and he sounds like he is very selfish and it is all about him. Not you or his child is considered in any of the above situation! Are you staying because he is a hard worker or want to live like this the rest of your life ! The choice can only be made by you ! Take it or leave it !
Pump for a few days, find a sitter and spend time working on your relationship if you think itâs salvageable. Youre using breastfeeding as an excuse and a crutch (and this is coming from a momma who exclusively breastfed). If you continue to make your relationship revolve around the baby and donât put your share of the work into the relationship youâll be going down a very dark and messy rabbit hole. Regardless of whether he cheated marriage is life long continued work if you want to continue to be married
You couldnât pay me enough to babysit my boyfriend/childs father. If you canât work through the thoughts of him cheating while heâs not around, i would just leave him. It sounds to me like fishing is prioritized over you and your child and I personally wouldnât be having that
Yâall will be broken up in the future so you might as will rip the band-aid off now , you are not happy and probably never will be with him ,I suggest let the pain happen deal with it that way you can move from it faster, most men donât change and if they do itâs temporary ⌠Iâd be petty and give what I get in return, get yourself together and find someone better
Share your bundle of joy, express your breast milk let daddy feed him, comp him with formula once and a while it wonât hurt him, make an appointment for you at the hairdressers, pop down the street to the shops on your own, take a long bath, the new nannyâs would love to baby is for a short while and if it works out go fishing with your hubby a baby is a wonderful joy to fit in with your family, not you to fit in with baby.
It might not be what you want to hear, but you wonât move on past this ever. Once a cheater always a cheater, and that will be in the back of your head forever. Even if you guys separate it will still be there, and you wonât be able to fully trust a new partner. Itâs sad but thatâs how it goes.
Heâs waiting to wear you out, then, he can go again n really do whatever. .fish, uh something else⌠back to whatever⌠but it will be YOUR fault. Sorry. Listening to you now is what itâs all about. And it sounds like he isnât. Itâs not on you, whether he falls back into conversing /relating to another gal. He shouldnât be trusted n only good behavior may lessen the memory, not this passive aggressive stunt. I know . I lived thru it. I still am. You want to be a babysitter of a grown man all your life, cuz⌠thatâs where I am at 60. people always say âcounselingâ n my guy was adamantly against, but, communication is keyâŚ(with YOU⌠not another gal⌠haha) so a good counsel may help just for someone" letting it out". Doesnât have to be together or even both.
Leave this man!!! U and him were sharing something beautiful w the birth of child. He chose that opportunity to cheat.U needed him most!! Hes turning the tables, he DID WRONG NOT U!!!
Trust is demonstrated by congruencyâŚmean what you sayâŚdo what you say. Words and actions match. If he needs a chaperone to demonstrate trustworthiness there is a problem.
Iâm extremely sorry to hear about that. If he has been faithful for that many years, he may have just cheated out of anxiety/confusion which is still no excuse. If it helps, my stepgrandfather cheated on my grandma and after about a year and a half she took him back and he has remained faithful for over 20 years. Usually cheating happens because of lack of communication and talking with a marriage counselor can really open up that door of communication.
Wow thatâs so sad sounds like a snake no matter how many times it sheads its skin it will always be a snake.
Girl go fishing on your own⌠for a new man or your dignity⌠whichever happens.
All relationships need guidance at some point. Yours is there. Please see a marriage counselor for a maintenance check-up, because the path you are on will only fester, grow and lead to the destruction of your family. It can get better, but only with good, experienced guidance.
Trust is earned and not automatically given. What has he done to earn your trust back? And I donât mean him needing you to babysit him (the full grown man) on top of being the primary caretaker of your child. Was he cheating on you throughout your pregnancy? Does he understand that he put both you and the baby under stress because of this? Does he know he was endangering both you and his child if he was sexually active with others while you were pregnant? It doesnât seem to me he cares about you or babyâs health. And that is the bare minimum in a monogamous relationship. Personally, I donât think I could forgive this.
why after all this time do you have to ask this stupid question? In your true heart of hearts you already know the answer. Send him packing heâs already shown you his true self.
U said he was only talking to a female, how did he cheat? Were they sleeping together or kissing? If u call talking, cheating, ur very insecure!
Cut your losses before itâs too late
If he keeps blaming you for accusing him of things then he doesnât take responsibility for cheating. He should be supportive and understanding of the trust issue ESPECIALLY since you JUST gave birth to his son. You deserve a break during the week and on the weekends! Just because he works doesnât mean he canât help you. You are healing from a C-section and your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes which causes all kinds of things from depression, anxiety, exhaustion to being more emotional etc. Do not allow him to make you feel bad that cheated! You carried his son for almost 10 months and he had the audacity to hurt you during what should be the happiest time in both your lives. You canât forgive him unless he starts behaving like a man who deserves forgiveness. No offense to you, he sounds like a jerk who refuses to take responsibility for what he has done. He should be begging for your forgiveness and changing his behaviors to reflect that. He should be open to showing you his phone whenever you want or doing whatever you need to feel reassured he isnât taking to another woman. If he continues to make you feel like itâs your fault he cheated or anything is your fault in regards to his behavior then I would seriously consider leaving. Maybe go to a therapist by yourself and get some help figuring out why you let a man treat you badly, so it wonât happen again. You are a strong, wonderful mom! Take care of that baby boy and do what is best for you both. I hope your partner wakes up and steps up so he doesnât lose his family but if he doesnât there are PLENTY of great men out there that will love you and love your son as if he was his own.
How is it cheating if he only talked to the female on his phone? If thatâs the case then all you females should not be talking to men at all
speaking on the phone to a person of the opposite sex is cheating?
Once a cheater, always one. I would take my baby and go. Or tell him to leave.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Cut your losses and move on with your son.
I know it may be hard for you to leave the baby, but need to think about how much he is feeling ignored. Perhaps use a breast pump, get a sitter and the two of you go out on a date where can give each other undivided attention. Pregnant women are emotional and new mothers often get too wrapped up in baby. Man starts feeling ignored and left out. Have been there and remember what I was doing. You have two men to share your time with now.
If someone gone cheat after their wife or gf or whatever gave birth to their child they are a pos and well keep doing it. They will just be more sneaky to ensure they dont got caught again.
me personally if a man cheated on me right after giving birth to his child heâd be packing his shit .
Find a Christian Counselor for both of you ⌠put your radio an KLove for Christian encouragement and music . trust God. PUT GOD FIRST ⌠
Say BYE get child support go on with your life he doesnât LOVE YOU
Go to therapy
Individual and couples
Once a man cheats, he always cheats.
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Nope. Sionara my dude. I would have left him the second I found him cheating.
Go to a Councillor yourself, if you can not afford one look at this youtube: https://youtube.com/c/DoctorRamani
You deserve much better! Get out now.
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So many words in this concern. Iâve got 2 words as a solution. Dump Him!
There is no going back, once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve betterâŚ
Once a cheater always a cheater!! Now, make a wise choice using your head not your heartâŚ
Forgive âNever Forgetâ and Leave Quickly!!
Talking to another girl is not cheating on you 
There is a season for everything in life, you guys just had a baby, itâs time to relax, stay home more than normal and get use to the new routine.
If he canât âsacrificeâ his hobbyâs just for a little while that is a big issue, if he doesnât get this dad life/partner life/new life now, he will never get it.
It was a phone callâŚI was a Nurse for most of my career. Nearly all of my friends are female. You shouldnât be so jealous, youâll smother him and drive him away. Now if he was sexting with her, thatâs entirely different. He needs to put on his big boy pants and start fishing alone. But have you considered that if he is so afraid to go because he feels that you would automatically accuse him of seeing another womanâŚthen maybe your problem is your jealousy. Itâs very common for new moms to feel insecure about their bodies and relationships, but donât let it get the better of you.
U canât. He will must keep on doing it.
eventually there will be fellings but the fellings become different you still love each other but the respect is never the same and trust is never the same its hard ,and my advice is go to a consular for proper advice ,and only then can you move on from this point.
He âcheatedâ around the birth of your sonâŚcheating at anytime is bad enough but this speaks volumes. You deserve so much more.
Trust takes years to build and a few minutes to destroy!
Thereâs not enough information to really make a sufficient judgement. Was he actually cheating like inappropriate texting or was he just friends with the other woman. There could be a huge difference. If he was cheating think of an exit strategy as best and fast as you can. If not then maybe talk to a counselor to work out your insecurities and get over it. As long as thereâs nothing inappropriate or wrong he should be allowed to have friends. Often it is good to have healthy friendships with the opposite sex because you can learn a lot and get different perspectives that you would not be able to otherwise. But obviously if he actually was cheating, get rid of him.
I know itâs hard, because you have a newborn, but once a cheater always a cheater. If heâs not still talking to the one he was talking to, heâll start talking to another one since he saw you stayed. Iâve learned this the hard wayâŚa few times.
His actions are red flags! He sounds very selfish. Why is he going out fishing and not helping this new mother? So he wants her to accompany him as a way to prevent him from looking/talking with other women as a way to ensure his own fidelity? Does he not realize that the conditions for this are not ideal for them? Why not fish less often and do something with mother and child instead. Do something the mother wants for a change! When the weather is good, perhaps they could accompany him then. I really think that this woman should think twice about remaining with him. Fatherhood means increased responsibilities to be met and if it that does not improve him, he cannot be counted on as a good and reliable partner nor as a good parent for their baby in the forthcoming future. Cut your losses now before having regrets in the next decade to come.
Honey they never stop talking to or looking at other women.
Do it to me once, shame on you; do it to me twice, shame on me. Donât let there be a third, only you can control this.
Dump his sorry ass. He Will do it again.
Without trust there isnât a relationship. The fact he cheated on you speaks so loudly! Especially while you were bringing your child into this world.
Then to drag you fishing so âyou canât accuse himâ and also put his child through that is selfish.
Honestly, you need to leave this scumbag.
He clearly doesnât care for you or that child so leave while your sanity is somewhat in tact.
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You are better off loving from a far if they are not worthy of your love. The fact he is pushing you into something you prefer not to do and using his own shortcomings of cheating as justification for you to do it Is concerning. Have learned it is best to cut your losses when you recognize it. Only you know the situation. Go with your head and not your heart. Be well!
He most likely invites her to go fishing with him knowing she will say no that way he can go do whatever he wants without feeling guilty because after all â he did invite herâ she needs to leave him & collect child support. He doesnât want to be in a relationship.
Do not listen to people saying texting isnt cheating. ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable in your relationship esp that obviously is clearly cheating weather others agree or not. Run and never look back he will never change dont let him drag you down for the rest of your life. The last thing you need to think about when you have a child is if the man youre with is a cheater. Leave!!
He cheated on you right after you gave birth, and yet you still think itâs something worth working on? I think you need to be working on yourself and that baby, work on your self worth and esteem, so you can realize whatâs really worth fixing
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