Do not go back to him don’t let him see you miss him treat him like he is nothing to you like you dont care he left, even though that’s not the way you feel. He wants to see you upset and beg for him back. Don’t say a d*** word to him unless it’s about your girls what he did you was so disgusting And I am so sorry that that happened to you. You are gonna find someone so much better and think back to yourself how the h*** did I even love this man? He’s gonna end up regretting it because the grass isn’t greener on the other side But please do not take him back when he comes crawling back because he will do it again if you treated you like an option once hes gonna do it again and because he got away with it. The only thing that’s really gonna help is time and keeping yourself busy don’t let yourself sit around and think about him try and distract yourself.
He is using you, and playing on your emotions as he sees fit. He doesn’t love you, he loves himself and uses women!
You deserve better than then someone who preys on your emotions.
As hard as it is, bc you had an image of what your life was going to be like with him, he has proved that he didn’t feel the same at all.
You can do this, find some things that help with your self care.
Sending hugs 
Individual therapy for you. Family therapy for everyone. You two need to learn how to coparent for the sake of your kids. The kids need to know it’s not their fault because kids always blame themselves.
Everything everyone else has said, do that and try moving on with your life, someone else will come along that will treat you like you are supposed to be treated…Stay strong and tend to your children, but try not to have anymore children until you are married to a good man…
no contact with him phone any thing cut all strings. move on remember he didn’t want you… put yourself and your happiness first!
I was like this just over a year ago… My ex fiance and I had an argument (was over the fact I wouldn’t let him live with me as he wouldn’t pay his share or clean up after himself) , he left and we didn’t speak for a few days… Then when we finally talked said we could be mates still, but he had met another chick and took her on a date 10 days after we broke up for valentines day. They got pregnant the month after we broke up. It tore me apart for months, well actually until it hit a year of us not being together I realised if he could do that shit to me then stuff him. I just think of the downs not the ups when we were together and I just stop missing him 
think it was more the fact he said we could remain friends and I missed the friendship not the relationship… that hurt the most as that certainly did not happen.
So if yous didn’t have any bad times while together… Think of how it ended and what he’s done now. You don’t deserve that. Someone who does deserve you will come into your life when you are ready!
Unfortunately there is no quick fix. Time is the big healer. you may also want to find a counselor. It really helps to talk freely with someone “neutral”. You’re better than that! Be an example to your daughters of how strong you are! He’s dirty for expecting you to be there between boots calls!
Open your eyes and see this man for what he is. A SKUNK,
just move on , u have a life to lead and now is u’re change to do this! be strong ! god bless u
Only have conversations about the kids no contact whatsoever
Tell him to hit the road, get over it
men sux my ex husband did same long ago was 1 year dated other then left even went florda lied me found out
stop, breathe & read over & over & over again just what you wrote, especially being put on the back burner bit, You love him, but he does NOT love you & it seem she either never did, or stopped some where along the way, Be grateful , he left, Its a whole lot better than him staying with you & cheating on you. So again be grateful he left, And let that be, As for his girls loving him, that won’t change, nor should you ever say anything bad about him to them, because trust me in the end, the results will not be in your favor, If he loves his girls, let that be, let him see them. Now take one day at a time, take his ass to court for child support, if he isn’t; already paying you something, And don’t let him in your bed again, because if you do, don’t except anything good coming out of it
You need to start praying beautiful and get counseling because you have 2 little girls to think about.
HONESTLY one day at a time. when our significant other lets us down in this way it hurts like hell and it’s going to hurt and be difficult on days but just think to yourself you deserve better you deserve someone that loves you 100% not just when he wants.
It just takes time. Do counseling. It really helps. You need to get back your self esteem so you can be strong for your children.
You have been lwft holding the bag with 2 kids after 6 years.
This person cheated on you and lied about it.
Go to family court. Get your support and custody/ visitation set out and MOVE ON to someone who LOVE YOU and your girls and will make a family. .
Time. It just takes time.
What a dirt bag get on with your life go after child support ,family will help you threw this .
Stop living in the past. Live in the present. The present is all that exists. Your past is just memories. Live in the NOW on purpose.
When they say there is t another person… there is . Move on girl and find a new man
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Man this is terrible. Im sure you’re lost since it was out of nowhere but id def not get back with him ever again after the mindf*ck . He had already been cheating for that to go down that way. Id work on yourself and move on when you’re ready
What do you LOVE about him that makes you think it is OK to be abused for his entertainment…
He wants his cake and to eat it too. If you’re not his first choice then let it go.
No magic fix, it takes time. Until then fake it until you make it especially around him
You are better off without him
What ever you do, don’t let him see the hurt he caused. When you see him fake being happy and okay. This will hurt him because he will think he no longer has the control over you. Time will heal and you will find true love.
You look at your daughters and know that whatever you accept from him is what they will grow up and believe is acceptable for them.
So very sad that he chose a ‘new toy’ over his family that HE created. Just disappointing to see these narcissistic men just choose to walk out on their own, he should be ashamed…filth.
Move on girl, find yourself someone who loves you and the girls and treats you like a queen…Don’t go back to a loser that throws away his family.
I feel so bad for you baby. You need to get your glow up goin DM me I don’t mind helping out but got get your nails done, an a cute outfit, do your makeup an make a new profile picture. Show those two girls that no matter what happens YOU are and will always there. You guys were together a long time it’ll take a while but this is a good chance to find yourself, if you find someone else along the way that’s great but I wouldn’t focus on that.
Get rid of him. Focus on the girls and do lots of things with them. In time you will be able to move on and find someone that will make you and the girls happy
Give it some time honey and read and work through The Five Stages of Grief. It will definitely help you to accept the unacceptable. Good luck! Hugs 
You have to put you and your girls first, be a example for them. Don’t fall for it when he says he misses you etc it’s a game to him. Find yourself someone to love and someone who values you and your girls. He will discover as soon as you are with someone and happy all he gave up. But don’t give up happiness for him. You and your girls deserve a family with a man that puts you all first in his life.
This is so sad. 
people are shit.
I tell you all to get Child support, visitation Legally. Listen to you mind not your heart. He knows he can use you. Don;t let him.
Let him go, he wants his freedom but all the benefits of commitment. Not gonna happen. He is using you. Two children? File for child support now! Be polite but distant when you meet. Cry behind closed doors.
Move on so that you can be happy for yourself.
You deserve better, simple.
Focus on you and your girls and you will start feeling better about you and your goals in life, when he sees how well you are doing and moving on then he will want to come running back but don’t entertain him when he comes begging for you. He will always be with other women and never be faithful to you sweetie!!
You deserve better and its up to you to get that.This man does not love you.Coparent and thats it.Sorry but you need to move on.And by doing so you will be ok.
Sounds like u got away in time. If haven’t already, file for custody and child support!
There’s a time to think with your heart and a time to think logically and enter in to boss bitch mode…right now it’s the later. Get a custody order NOW. Like you should’ve weeks ago. You don’t want the new lady(ies) to be amateur lawyers - we all know them, the regular people who “know the laws” - and swipe them out from underneath you while you’re vulnerable. Put your emotions aside for a bit and think about your children and their wellbeing. Best of luck 
The best advice I ever got was to get mad not sad…you should be angry for the way he hurt you and your children. Anger will help keep you from allowing him to use you. Definitely file for custody because without a custody agreement in place, he can legally take the girls and not return them. Also file for child support. Do not take it easy on him. He didn’t take your feelings into consideration nor did he take it easy on you. You deserve better and so do your children.
Fuck that guy ! It’s time to get summer time fine !!!
Im sorry. Its going to take alot of time and alot of tears unfortunately.
Pick your self esteem of the floor and continue on.
“Not to date other people” should have been your clue that in fact that’s exactly what he wanted to do. There is nothing to love there. He is a pos that literally wasted your time on purpose so he could have his cake and eat it too. Take him to court to get things on paper and from now on don’t deal with him directly. Get a parenting app and communicate solely about the kids there. I also would be telling everyone and their moms what a pos he is.
I have been on the “back-burner” as well, and I can tell you it doesn’t end well. He may be back if he can’t find anyone else to deal with him the way that you do. But would you want him by default? Every little call, every little text he sends creates hope in you and it may be just boredom on his part. This creates a constant cycle of building hope up and having it dashed over and over again until you are mentally beat to a pulp. Acceptance is the first thing. Then make new plans for your life and your girls separate from his. Soon it will be your new normal. I received a lot of great self-help on YouTube. Dr. Carter on Narcissism is one of the best.
Therapy. There’s more to unpack here, sounds like you’ve been accepting far less than you deserve for a long time. Whether there was abuse involved I can’t say, but definitely screams unhealthy relationship. In the meantime don’t have sex with him again no matter what he says, he’s already proven that he’ll just use you if you give him the chance too,
Sounds like a total douchebag looks like you dodged the bullet… Work on yourself and understand that you deserve better…
Don’t be a booty call. Do the visitation and keep your distance.
Oh girl … I feel your pain. My heart hurts for you. Maybe have someone else there when he picks the girls up so you dont have to see him. Find distractions to keep yourself busy. Like take up hiking or karate or something. Do NOT sit at home letting your imagination run wild.
XO
You need to tell him he needs to stop playing with ur feelings for those kids. Tell him them seeing u hurt cuz of dad is going to give them a complex
Sounds like my first engagement. I ended up moving out of town and blocking his number. He found me on Facebook and was trying to see me (even though he was married by this time and so was I).
Just co-parent with him. Don’t let him talk to you in any other way. Time will heal.
You spent too much time just being his girlfriend. Honey, he was always searching. A fickle man. He should never be trusted by you again. I so sorry and hope things get better. Only time will tell. You seemed so genuine and he wasn’t.
The best way to get over loosing a puzzy is to find a friend don’t waddle in VOMIT
Let him go there is someone out there in the future who is better for you if he wants to be a complete moron let him he isn’t worth your tears he did you wrong enjoy your little ones they will be your rock and help the pain put all attention on them find ways to keep your mind busy so you don’t have time to think about him except for when he comes to see the kids let him see what he gave up or missing because that woman might not be enough for him or vice versa. Karma will come get him what he has done to you will come at him like a boomerang and hit him harder than what he did to you. I’m proud of you for trying ik it’s hard don’t give up.
One day at a time!!! and stop sleeping with him!!! He will probably think you will when he picks up or drops off the girls, but don’t be at the house alone when he shows up!!! Have a friend, your mom, anyone there with you to help you stay strong!!!
He best way to get over someone is to get under someone new
Omg I can’t even imagine I am so sorry. You deserve someone better that will truly love you, respect you and terish you. Just slowing start cleaning your house of his stuff first cuz seeing his stuff around the house will make it that much harder to get over him. Maybe make plans with some friends or family while the girls are gone or you can even go out and do something fun by yourself.
It is such a good idea to have a genuine commitment before bringing children into picture. Yes, I am old.
if you’re under him, you ain’t gettin’ over him
New Rules
You can love someone but rationally know that they’re not good for you. Some people love smoking crack, but it’s bad for them, and it can ruin your life if you allow a destructive pattern to continue. The relationship left a void in your life, and I would recommend filling that void with something that is better for you and aligned with what you want for your life. It’s heartbreaking that there are two children involved, but it will only be confusing to them to continue the on-again/off-again pattern that they’re being exposed to now. Also, your daughters are learning from you what they can expect from relationships and how they ultimately will accept being treated by a partner. Do you want to see them in a situation like this, or do you want something more for them? Model that for them, because they’re watching whether you realize it or not. There is definitely better out there for you— you just have to take the leap and decide you’re worth better than your ex is capable of giving you. Sending love! 
As long as he’s a good dad and helps support his children there’s not much you can do. You need to realize he played you, he may even try it again when he decides his current situation isn’t what he wants. You need to move on. Concentrate, on your life, girls, friends and family. Make yourself over, cry, get mad, scream, but don’t be an open, revolving door for your ex! Get your life together.
Best way to get over a break up is to wrap your legs around someone else….
Love ur self and leave the garbage alone. You will always have love for him he is ur childrens father but u will slowly loose the being live with him. You got this God bless go see family or friends don’t be alone
To get over someone u must let go n get under someone else
I pray my way out of everything. Pray for God to remove those feelings because honestly anyone that treats you that way does not deserve you. Work on yourself. Do things that are uplifting and healing to your soul. You need to heal before you can move on or you will take that hurt to another relationship that could potentially be the blessing of a man that God sends you. It’s hard and it won’t happen overnight but lean on God through this heartbreaking situation. You’ll come out on the other side as a better woman. I know this hurt you’re dealing with all too well so I pray that you can find healing as quickly as possible 
I really hope you reread what you wrote, and get some counseling for self worth. Sounds like you dodged a bullet and he did you a favor by leaving
He did you a favor. He was most likely seeing her for the longest time. He never wanted to work on himself…which makes him a liar! Disrespectful, cheater, and a liar. Love yourself and all will fall into place.
Start seeing a counselor. They will guide you.
Fake it till you make it, hand the girls over, wish them a good weekend….and that’s all! Don’t entertain anything that doesn’t have to do with the children. If you fake it long enough you’ll eventually get there and you will realize that you actually don’t care anymore
I think you need to look at it differently…don’t look at it as how to get over it. Because you share two children and love him idk getting over it is the answer because that is going to take time. Look at it as a new adventure. Let it hurt but find new - a home for you and the girls - things for you to enjoy while they’re with him and things to enjoy when you do have them. Let him be his own Rollercoaster. Get off, take care of yourself and let time take care of the getting over it.
Let the POS go he’s just a user
You just have to accept it. It might hurt for a while bc you weren’t ready just yet and it hurts to be used for sex. Cut all ties with him and only talk when it has to do with his kids. Ignore the I miss you, I love you, let’s have sex msgs. And only reply if he’s asking about the girls. When he has the girls for his visits, go out with some of your girlfriend’s and have fun. Don’t let him manipulate you into being miserable. He’s moved on long time ago. You should do the same thing
Àlot of self care will help
I’ve been in that situation… and I have no solid advice for you…just sending great big virtual hugs.
Go through the emotions. Keep yourself busy. And every time you think you miss him, tell yourself that this is how it is. You can’t just ignore it. It hurts. Once you get past it and go through the anger… that’s when the best part of your life will start. Good luck To you
Time. The anxiety will be there for a little while. You’ll throw up a couple times, probably a hundred - if you’re like me, you’ll lay there and stare at the ceiling wondering if they’re together and what they’re doing. But then one night, you’ll start to realize what is actually happening while you’re laying there being heartbroken over someone that doesn’t deserve. Quite frankly. He doesn’t deserve for you to make this the end of your world. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh… but I only say it with good intent. As soon as he set you in the back burner, there was no intention of taking you off. Even if you burnt and caught on fire and burnt down the whole house because that’s what happens when a pan is forgotten about on the stove but you should’ve “done better to control your emotions before it got to that point”, in his words right? Even though he gave you no safe place to express your feelings while being heard. And then all the little red flags that really hurt you during the relationship but you stuck it out because you loved the hell out of him and he could be a good man, start to literally burn and you can’t not acknowledge them now. And then a couple more weeks go by and you’re angry now. Because how dare he. You deserve better. You loved him wholeheartedly and faithfully and loyally and took care of him AND THE KIDS, in your case. And he didn’t fucking deserve it. Period. And then, as sad as it is to say… suddenly it’s just okay that he’s gone. The disrespect and disregard isn’t there anymore. The insecurities and the worry and the wonder isn’t there anymore. Whether you move on to a point to wish him well or wish him the worst, you will have moved on. Keep your chin up girl. It gets better. Your girls love you more than any man ever could. Invest in them and yourself. You are a queen and you have tremendous strength that you haven’t found yet. Keep fighting. Day and day, and do something new every day. Whether it was a place he didn’t like. A place with an bad memory of him, make a new one with those girls and yourself. Take your worth back. He doesn’t measure it. Much love, momma!
Finding a new fling worked for me to get over my cheating ex. 
I was over it within a month and ready to date again after I got my emotions out lol.
People advising to get under another- thats retarded. Jumping straight into intimate acts with some u don’t care for - while holding big feelings for someone else would literally make u feel worse about moving on, and quite honestly is toxic - unless ur that way inclined. There is however some great advice on here - work on you and ur kids, I know its cliché but find your new way of life that makes YOU happy, a happy mum has happy kids. Dont be an option for him anymore is the number 1 rule. I know it’s really painful but take 1 day at a time. I personally would block him if ur feeling physically sick with anxiety and hurt- if u block him on everything, everytime ur phone goes u won’t feel that sickness wondering if it’s him calling you - because u know he can’t. It gives u more peace than u realise. Have a family member deal with him for arrangements for the children, that way u don’t have too, or see what he’s up too with this new woman. At least until u have time to heal. Sorry your going through this and it will get better for you
Therapy. ASAP.
See if you can find a third party where pick ups & drop offs are made (day care, grandma’s, friend’s house) so you don’t have to see each other. It’ll take time & you’ll go through the stages of grief.
Do things that make you happy & take your mind off him, preferably some form of physical activity to release endorphins and help you stay healthy. Trampoline park maybe.
Karma…girl move on to a real king and live your best life. F that dude and his side hoes.
You were being used and thrown out like trash…hope u learned
Oh, and there’s an app where you post your conversations about the girls & the court gets a copy. You can then block his number for any other communication.
Also, write in a journal. You can get your emotions out and read them later to evaluate what to do and see how far you’ve come.
I went through this very same thing and I was absolutely crazy about my now ex husband and it’s so hard but start living for you and your baby’s and it gets better go have fun in life go places you’ve always wanted to go and do things you’ve wanted to do it is very hard but it will get better best wishes
Therapy. He’s using you, and has zero respect for you. Boundaries - your boundaries - are going to be of the utmost importance right now.
Run not walk, he is using you.
Sounds like a narcissist type. Best thing is to get away and work on building yourself up. I know it sucks but you dodged a bullet before getting married. Therapy is a good step if you can manage it.
I would totally act chill and like he doesn’t even effect you when he picks them up don’t let him effect you show him how strong you are. For moving on I would step back. Deep breath. Don’t think about being in a relationship or working anything out or what went wrong/what you had try not to dwell. Work on yourself, self reflect, self love find new things that make you happy or do things you know you like, make new goals you want to reach and figure out how to reach them somewhere in the middle of loving yourself you will find yourself you will heal and realize even more how strong and amazing you are and he just wasn’t meant for you. One day you’ll find your person so for now you just find you (Therapy if you could would be great to work through things)
Time is the greatest healer of all but I am so very sorry you have been so belittled by this selfish man In time you will see this 
Focus on yourself.show him what he lost! Have fun.
Did he take his things? Burn what’s left or sell it. Time to love yourself again. Get a new haircut, colour, new outfit. Time heals. Don’t be his go to when things go wrong- he will crawl back. You deserve full time love. Focus on u and your kids. You got this.
Get rid of him. He’s a loser. You deserve way better and so do your girls. He doesn’t respect you or your girls. He would never be faithful and you would always be suspicious. Kick him to the curb and don’t look back. He sounds like a skunk
You will get over him. But kick him to the curb. Also sue for support for the kids.
Maybe you should remove yourself from the situation when he picks up the kids. Have someone else, like a friend or family member drop them off or pick them up. Not being around him will help. It’s natural to have these emotions, but the less you see him the easier it’ll be. You obviously have to have some communication, but it really only needs to be about the kids. To be honest, it seems like he wants his cake and eat it too. He’s able to date, while also have you there whenever he wants. Start dating. Do not make yourself available to him. As long as he can reel you in, you will never get over him.
Just think of him as the lying,cheating snake in the grass he is. He’s not only cheating on you, but also his new girlfriend. He’s not worth your time.
You deserve better than friends with benefits.
This is actually so heart breaking 
I would absolutely die if my husband left me more so for another woman,head up mama alot of men don’t know what they have until it’s gone .