How can I parent my 6-year-old son?

I need help. My 6 year old son (7 in a few weeks) WONT listen to me no matter what I do. We have an amazing bond, I’ve been a single mother his whole life. Hes an amazing, smart child but when he doesnt get what he wants he can be extremely cruel. This has stopped me from dating or bringing people around including friends, bringing him places and wanting to do anything with him. I feel so isolated and drained. I find myself yelling more than usual and I feel so guilty afterwards because he tells me he gets bad dreams where I’m usually the villain, but it seems to be the only way he listens… to be clear I usually have to ask him more than 3 times before I lose my shit and raise my voice… I know I’m gunna get hate for this but I just feel like he lacks common sense…I try to teach him but how many times is too much before he should know to do something. he doesnt help me with anything and I feel like I’m treated as a maid. Also when I do try to have fun with him, theres always SOMETHING he complains or gets upset about and it could never just be a great day where hes happy and grateful. When he doesnt get what he wants he calls me mean, or says “if you dont do this you’re a bad mom”, and so many other things that cut very deep. All while were in public. I dont know what to do anymore. Time outs dont work because he always finds something to play with or enjoys being alone… should I do timeouts differently ? Should I take things away ? Am I being to hard on him?Beginning Monday I am writing a list of chores he has to start before he begins playing after school to teach cleanliness, responsibility and priorities. Even though i feel like “play time” SHOULD be a priority for a child ? I’m so confused here on what and how to do things properly. I have never been on a set routine before because I’ve always been so exhausted doing things alone but I feel like I should try at the least. Does routine help with behavior? Is it to late to teach him respect? I’m scared this is just who he is now and I dont know how to stop it. He can be the sweetest boy ever so I just dont understand…

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I parent my 6-year-old son?

:eyes: following for advice!

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There is so much to touch on but the main thing I want to say is it is never to late to start a routine but make sure you are able to stick to the main focus of it and be consistent. He is going to see what buttons he can push and for how long he can before you are done. My youngest is just turned 8 and oh boy does he like to test my limits but he also knows when I have had enough and he will go back on task. For time outs I use a corner where I can see him but he can’t see things like the tv or other kids playing. He will fidget a lot but as long as he stays in the timeout I have let him do it. Good luck momma you got this

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You are the boss stop letting him have that power

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Maybe he needs therapy, he might be having trouble processing why he only has a mom when his friends might have both parents. It’s never too late to teach him respect, if possible, get him involved in a sport. This way he can gain more discipline from being in a sport and have that strong presence of the coach. Be sure he knows that you love him and that the choices the adults have made have nothing to do with him.

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Be stern. Dont let him walk all over you. Don’t give him what he wants just so he’ll stop. That’s why he does it because he knows it works. Stick him In the corner somewhere. Not his room where yes he will play. You are his parent first then his friend. Stick to a routine. BE STERN! I got ass whooping at a child and you can tell kids these do t do t get them enough. Just my opinion. He does not control you dont feel bad for disciplining your child. If your just doesn’t hate you just a lil then your doing something wrong :joy:

Sounds like you are a great mother :heart: hopefully it’s just a faze. You got this!

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Look up conscious parenting on FB he is very young and you have to start pointiuout everything he does good praise him more also don’t take it personally kids say things like you are mean your the adult and they are just trying to express what they are feeling keep teaching him try not to yell or try to walk away and calm down the calmly enforce the rule he will learn how you react to things and do the same also some kids are strong will also maybe take him to church teach him about why we are thankful get him into some positive activities. Kids act out at that age it is probably normal. Google behavior for six year old

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Get him tested for ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). My son was just like this. He’s on Vyvanse in the morning and Clonodine at night. Vyvanse helps with adhd and moods. Clonodine helps wind down and go to bed. It’s a godsend. Then also do some counseling even if it’s just a few sessions. Someone to tell him how to calm himself when he’s feeling like he’s going to explode. You need to do your very best to stay calm and reason with him. Give him space and understanding. Don’t be totally dismissive but if it’s ODD, he can’t help his reaction. Big emotions are totally overwhelming. Routines are great, but changes in them are awful. Always let him know changes ahead of time so he can mentally prepare. Don’t try to date right now. Get this under control. It took me years to get this figured out. PM me if you have any questions! :heart::heart::heart:

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You can do this and make chores fun. Have him help you clean I let my kids pick between a few chores or we do one he picks one I pick and I help and praise him. Positive talk works better negative it’s hard you can totally do this read a bunch articles and Google alot I will find some have a nice day

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Try family and individual counseling.

Sounds like this little boy is controlling you. Believe me, you aren’t making him into a better person…

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Routine will definitely help with Behavior

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i am with u on tht problem with my 10 yr old daughter and 6 yr old

Set rules and stick to them.
You have to be consistent.
If the answer is no today, it will still be no tomorrow.
Actions have consequences.
You are to be his parent, not his friend.
No one will ever love him more than you do except God.
Start today. Start now.
You are going to be great!

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Bring a mom is tough … you’re doing a great job mama!! :clap::clap::clap: with that being said : yes, routine and consistency help but, your child not always listening and pushing boundaries is kind of normal in a way especially at that age. Just keep reminding him that his poor behaviour will not be rewarded and that if he wants certain things he has to earn them and to be respectful towards you.

You’ve got this!

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if your going to give a consequence ro an action and don’t follow through. hes going to learn real fast that you don’t follow through with your word

no means no
he may call you things. but if not corrected it will get worse.

hold your word mama.
put your foot down.

I’ve had to learn many different ways to discapline/ be on my sons level to find something that works.

you can do this.

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Conscious parenting i could find a link

Never too late to teach kids something different. And chores are a great way to teach kids the things they need to know but it also helps you out…like clearing the table while you fill the sink, making his bed every morning, helping you put stuff away. If he’s rude or naughty, make time out somewhere with no distractions or no tv…what ever it is be consistent every single time or he will know more bad behaviour and stressing mum out equals getting what he wants. It’s perfectly okay to have friends over, just explain there’s been a change in house rules please ignore my screaming kid he’s adjusting lol most people will understand. But reward the good behaviour too, that’s important. I think some times we try our best and good on you for trying so damn hard as a single parent but if its not working any more that’s okay, that’s not a fail moment, it’s just time for a change.

Routine, Routine,Routine… mom of 6 here, You need to watch Major Payne, Become a Drill Sergeant!! You have to use a tone in your voice and stick to what you say!!! If he gets 4 mins time out, that’s time out, no toys, tv, tablet, nothing. And if he won’t sit by himself, you have to sit and make him stay in his place. Get control NOW momma!!!

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Take things away and be consistent with your punishment. It will get harder before it gets easier but then it will be so much better. I went through this with my first around the same age.

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It sounds like you’ve been very lax on discipline and ensuring he learns proper behavior due to your own issues. I’m not taking a swipe at you, please don’t be offended, I just mean this has helped him learn exactly how to manipulate you, and you likely have given in alot.

Let him call you names. Let him throw his fits. Don’t respond to it emotionally. If he knows you will give in, he’s gonna push for it. If he tells you that you are bad for not doing what he wants, remind him that you are the parent, he is a child and this decision isn’t one he gets to make.

Make sure you give him options to make decisions too though. Choices of what to eat, what to wear, does he want to do chores first or bathe. He needs to feel like he has choices, it’s your job to make sure they’re between appropriate options. It’s not too late to teach him respect and right from wrong.

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He’s 6, fixing to be seven.

Be patient
Talk to him
Praise him
Listen to him
Let him know that he has a voice
Explain to him
Get parent and child counseling
Love him
Love you
Spend time with him
Hug him
More positive words and face than the opposite
His chore should be to help pick up his shoes and always put his toys up.
If you punish him, let it be taking away an electronic device.

He’s lacking something.
Wanting attention one way or another.

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I would do all the things you are avoiding with him. He starts acting up, take him straight to the bathroom and get onto him. He can’t learn how to behave in those circumstances if you don’t show him.

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To me, he’s just everywhere. He doesn’t have as much structure as he needs. I don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong but routine has a huge effect on kids at that age. But I’m sure you’re talking to him and stuff and that doesn’t always work. But talking at him and talking with him and letting him see you’re vulnerable and also just a person, could really help. Kids at that age that get kinda agitated have a hard to sympathizing with their parent they aren’t getting along with. When he’s in a nice mood just talk and communicate with him what both of your jobs are and how much it hurts you when he says things and MOST importantly, let him tell you what you do to hurt him, yes he understands he should listen but why would he want to listen to someone who yells at him to get what they want. Even if what you’re asking is what’s right, all he’s understanding is that you yelled, and that it can be used to make people listen to you. But let him tell you what he thinks about from perspective about you and himself and his actions. Have a good actual talk. Cry, laugh, end in a hug. Bring it back up the next day when it’s still good so that it’s reiterated and thought about again and understood and on his mind. Just talk with him, really talk with him. It sounds so cheesy but no one talks to kids like they’re people or have feelings or thoughts. Yes they’re kids but they will be grown in 5 seconds so it’s really not long that you have to make sure he’s an emotionally well rounded man and no better way than to just get sappy and be honest about your feelings and let him too. You’re all each other have forever.

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Honey you need to calm yourself before you can help him. Set rules but be reasonable. He’s very young. Try not to yell. I know it’s hard but yelling makes it worse. Whatever you decide to do you have to be consistent. Remember what it was like to be a child. Patients and understanding. They have a short attention span also. Make chores fun if possible

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Get him evaluated to rule out anything physical…being a Mom is an extremely exhausting…hang in there. It does have its rewards.

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Is he into any sports? Sounds like he needs an outlet for aggression and high energy!
Counseling could help…does he have any male role models close by he looks up to that could talk to him?

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If you haven’t had a routine and rules then it’s going to be rough at first but don’t back down … be consistent… if bed time is 8 30 it’s 830 if he is rude and disrespectful to you then what ever rule you have for that stick to it … etc … you got this !!

Routine works awesome in my opinion , and not , you are not late “ to teach him “ yes he is just a child and of course playing time is necessary but being respectful, responsible and organize is very important as well , you are not his maid , and he is old enough to help you with some chores , like cleaning/ organizing his room, put his laundry away etc . Balance is the most important thing, do not send him to his room when you put him on time out pick a corner and make him look at the wall , take toys and privileges away too and make him gain what he wants, do not stop enjoying things that you like because of him , hire a babysitter for 2-3 hours and go do something for yourself, like dinner with friends , do your nails or even go for a walk to relieve some stress, remember that you are the parent not he.
You have to be very consistent with your method of discipline.
And do not fall for his manipulation words all kids have said mean things to their parents when they do not get their way

Could it possibly be that he has Autism…Children with Autism struggle to learn everyday things even when told over and over…Maybe look up Autistic traits and read up on it to see if anything relates to your Son…

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Are you a single mom or is the dad ind the picture? Boys need their dads or something like that.

Has he been evaluated? Not that it’s my business but my daughter was doing all of that before she was evaluated. Turns out she had adhd and her little brain was skipping around and she was anxious, causing her to lash out. We’re all doing much better now that I know how to deal with things better.

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All I can say is…
Routine would help. No means no . Time out is just that no consoles, no tv its reflection and then after that the can go back to whatever it is they were doin. . and remember , he is six…

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Read up on child development especially brain development. Every age has special things about it and if you understand why he thinks and behaves the way he does it will literally change your life and his.

My FIRST inclination is you sound burned out. You need a break, recharge, reset. You can’t parent effectively from wearing thin. Start there…

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Sit down and talk with him about his behavior and tell him would he like this done to him and let him think about it and explain that you can’t tolerate that behavior

He may be missing a father figure in his life. Is there a trusted male in your family who can be there to help him do guy things-sports, fishing etc. Some places have organizations that men are willing to be a substitute dad and spend a day a week with them. He needs a male role model to teach him to respect women and girls.

He’s totally being normal. He also knows how to play on your heart strings. We’ve all been in your shoes. Don’t ever reward bad behaviour and be consistent, every time you give in, even just once, he wins and will try again. Stay strong

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I think it’s only my opinion. 1stly he’s old enough 2know he has u n u need ur time as u need him. If he feels threatened by the fact u trying 2date or have friends n family u will be neglecting him. Take away privileges. The things he likes the most. Also sit him down n ask him 4his opinions, why does he do what’s he doing. Since he had u 2 himself all this time maybe he’s afraid 2share mom with anybody else. The last thing u can do is seek professional help. A child physiologicalist. School generally have them come 2schools as assessment

You aren’t a bad mom. If a grown up said these things to you, it would be unacceptable x well it also is for your child. Do things together so you can show him how you want it done. My youngest 2 daughters like to watch tv with me so we either put laundry away together to watch tv sooner or they put their away while the tv is on.

I do chores list and a naughty a nice bord. Points for chores and behaving, strikes if my son doesn’t listen and being naughty.
Reward is an hour of tablet time or game time (he loves minecraft). Punchment is (which im probably going to get hate for) restricted to his room with only a book for an hour. If i catch him woth a toy then the toy becomes mine and he has to earn it back.
For me this is helping alot, as my son is exactly like you described.
Find things that work for you with rewards and punishments becouse the rewards are key and use lots of praise and excitement when he gets good points and rewards:)

Also explain things in a way he would completely understand and show him things as well, like how to make a bowl of cereal or a sandwich, how to wash dishs, how to put his clothes away, take out his school clothes for the morning, help with hos lunch box. It will help him gain a sence of independence and control.

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Kids have to have structure. Routines, rules, and consistency are absolutely necessary.

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Yes a routine should help, kids need routine.I think that not having one will be contributing to his bad behaviour, he never knows what’s next. With the common sense thing, try asking him what he thinks will happen if he does this/that, answer all his questions with what do u think, then explain why he is right or wrong, kids learn common sense, by listening to reasoning. When he is in time out, have him sat in a chair, in the middle of the room, with nothing to fiddle/play with. 1 minute per year am if he gets up the timer starts again. Teach him that words hurt and if he is going to use hurtful words he will loose a privilege, toys taken away for a day or 2, no tv ect…
Maybe try to start doing things with him, he’s probably bored out his mind with u not wanting to take him out, id sit him down an explain there’s going to be some new rules and routines that you are both going to follow, tell him the rules, what’s expected from him and the punishments for not following them, and say at the end of the first week, if he’s done good, then you can take him somewhere he wants to go, park, swimming, play sports, zoo ect so he’s getting a reward for good behaviour too, maybe write the rules down plainly so he can see them but don’t over complicate them, and give him a star sticker to put next to each rule, every day he follows each one, kids love stickers :woman_shrugging:

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Sounds like you give in when he does that and then you do whatever he wants. He learned that behavior because you let him.

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You will when you had enough and so will he.he actually probably could use a male figure in his life,not all at once but all boys want a man in their life

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First of all you are not a bad or mean mom. I think he needs to be seen by his pediatrician fist then a behavioral pediatrician. Have them evaluate then diagnose him. He needs consistency, and to be taught boundaries. Get someone to do respite care. You need a break. Be kind to yourself!!

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Time outs mean no toys no nothing except standing at wall or sitting on chair or stairs until his time out is up (1 minute per age) and do not do it in his room either and if you have to find a place in public then find a spot where he can sit down too for time out.

Also stop giving in to him about things he wants he knows calling you a mean mom hurts you which is why he says it to get what he wants.

Chore list needs to be reasonable like cleaning up after himself helping set table taking garbage out vacuuming etc.

When you tell him to do something n he doesn’t do it the first time u ask them the second time you ask you firmly say what you want him to do and give him a warning that if he have to tell him again he’ll go to time out.

You also need to set a regular routine and be firm with it.

It’s never too late to teach a child respect.

You also need to sit down and tell him that his behaviors are not okay and that what he says is hurtful.

Also do something for yourself and you have to pay someone to watch him just go to pamper yourself then do it.

Being a single mom isn’t easy it’s one of the hardest jobs ever too.

I’ve raised my son 90% by myself and let me tell you my son has said hurtful things he also tries to manipulate me into buying things for him by saying you don’t love me if u don’t etc but guess what I just shrug my shoulders at this point and say if that’s how you feel I’m sorry but that’s not true you know I love you more than anything in this world. My child is 14 so I’m in the teenage years.

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Never to late for anything :blue_heart: I have 3 Sons n yes they can be trying even as adults :person_facepalming: routine n consistency is the key…I know easy said than done but just have to put ur foot down n set a daily routine
When it comes to the stuff he likes…as in video games, toys etc take that away first when not doing as asked… do what I asked then get it back, if the tantrum continues not getting it back till tomorrow…its going to be a long couple days but gotta stick to it or he will keep walking all over you… I say this with :heart: all the best

Have you had him evaluated yet maybe start there and some counseling maybe if you think that will help

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Sign up for parenting classes ASAP and get yourself into counseling you need to set boundaries and have realistic expectations (hes only 6 and you’re saying he lacks common sense) do better for yourself and him

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I gotta ask….what do YOU consider a time out!?! If you’re asking if you should take things away from him while he’s in timeout then he’s not in timeout. You should have him stand or sit in a chair facing a wall with a timer running. No toys no tv. Just him and his own thoughts to ponder on why he is in timeout.

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Possibly ODD oppositional defiance disorder

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Your kid sounds like a tiny terrorist. Remind him of the relationship you two have in which you are the parent and he respects that and he is the child. and while you’re not mean to him you are firm in what you expect from him on a daily basis, some days aren’t always perfect but your child should not be saying things like that to you in public. He doesn’t seem like a bad kid all around just like he lacks discipline aka self control and its never too late to teach that.

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Stop being his friend and start being a parent… you’re the adult here… he puts guilt trips on you because you don’t know how to set boundaries and he knows it will trigger you… my son would yell at me that he hated me if I didn’t let him do something etc, I just yelled back, well I love you even if you don’t love me. Lol… my son is great now, he knows I’m looking after his well being and doesn’t fight me now . It takes time, and persistence, stand your ground…

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Maybe try therapy for yourself first and figure out how to handle how he’s trying to communicate with you, kids get frustrated and don’t know how to express their needs so what you see as him not being helpful which is typical for a child let’s be real here could mean something else and it’s his way of expressing himself. Don’t but your burdens onto a child that’s not his job to take on that responsibility. Plus therapy can be beneficial for you, gives you an outlet to talk to someone whose trained in behavior and an unbiased opinion can take a load off even if it’s once a week.

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Calling you mean, etc is totally normal for a child. Wait until he’s a teenager. You saying he lacks common sense is strange to me because he is only 6-7 years old. Even stuff they know not to do at that age they’re still learning and will do it anyways. Kids will push back to see what they can get away with regardless. For time outs try standing in corner or time out chair and set timer 1 minute for every year so 6 minutes for 6 years old etc. That’s not that long that you can keep an eye on him until his time is up. Or try taking away his favorite toy etc when he doesn’t mind. Good behavior can earn back those toys. For chores at that age I would have him clean his own room and keep up with it, very light chores for that age in my opinion. When you do like clean up etc for his “chores” whatever items are not in its assigned space, toys on the floor etc, have a basket or box that those toys will be placed into and not allowed to play with because they were not picked up when told. Those toys can be earned back with good behavior. When earning toys back only get to pick one to get back for each good behavior. Maybe start a behavior chart that includes simple things like brushed my teeth today, made my bed, cleaned my room, chores done, went to bed on time, was respectful, etc. Have reward chart for after so many good days, weeks, month etc he has a reward that he can pick and earn. Hope this helps. I know parenting isn’t easily especially alone and kids don’t come with instructions were all learning as they grow. What works for one child does not work for another. My son has adhd and odd and reward charts have really helped especially when he was that age. In school he had to carry around a clip board with his behavior chart and get his teachers to sign it after each class. This was done to hold him accountable for his behaviors.

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All kids his age call their mom’s mean. You will need to toughen up a bit. He’s manipulating you into getting what he wants and this will only get worse. I agree with all the time out and no toys comments. Yes take things always from him (toys and electronics) until he can earn them back with good behavior. Taking a parenting class would really help you. You’ll learn you’re not the only “mean” mom out there and learn tools to better parent him. Good luck to tou

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Routine and consistency is very important with children. They strive and thrive so much better having that. It’s def not too late to make changes so you are both happier with eachother. Maybe therapy, counseling individual as well as group will help you guys as well.

I have a 13 year old and I feel it work so much better not to tell but talk believe me sometimes that can be the one of the hardest thing to do when they have pushed you so far he 6 he will understand crime and punishment you just have to dumb it down for him to understand make a chart as was mentioned before for daily and weekly he’s behavior chores( which is a great idea) let him know that if he misses any sticker at the end of the week he gets x amount of toys for a week and make him pick them out

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You can also check and make sure he isn’t consuming red dye 40 in anything he eats or drinks, as that effects kids and their behaviors. Don’t give in no matter how hard it gets. It will be rough for little while but he will learn that Mom means business. You’re not a bad Mom! May also have him checked by his Doctor for ADHD/ODD. Wishing you the best of luck! Also remember to take a step back for yourself and just breathe.

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First, it’s NEVER too late Mama. Next, and I hope I can help you but there’s still some info missing (so I’ll do my best), but let’s start with reminding yourself that he is only 6. 6 is still a baby. And if you haven’t followed through on having him help you or respect you, then all he knows is playtime and “he’s the boss” attitude. Keep that in mind while you work on fixing it. Also, remember ALWAYS that he doesn’t understand how his words make you feel. Personally, I would start there. I also have a 6 year old son and if he ever called me a mean mom or said he didn’t like me (we don’t hate in my house… I’d send his ass straight to his room just for using the word) I’d tell him straight up it is ok to be angry with mommy. Anger is an emotion and I want him in tune with all of his emotions, however, no matter how angry you are, mommy asked you to do this or mommy wants you to do that and I expect you will. Maybe I’d even offer 5 min to cool down and figure his anger out. Now, if it’s chores I’m requesting out of him, and he refuses. Yes, that’s a timeout. So I bring him to a spot where he has nothing to play with or touch and explain "you will sit here for 6 minutes QUIETYLY (I don’t even start the timer until he’s done crying, yelling, throwing a fit) and think about what you did to get here. And I also expect him to tell me after why I put him there. Then we hug it out exchange I love yous and he is then asked again to do what he was supposed to. Another tantrum? Another timeout. Repeat process until he understands that he will do what he’s asked to do. Now, if it’s chores… I would have a checklist somewhere he could read it, with the chores he’s expected to do and I’d read it with him each day and cross off tasks and show praise when done. Kids love to be praised. Maybe after a week or every 2 weeks of everything being checked, he earns a special treat. A trip out for ice cream, or a new book, or a trip to a special park. Something small, but fun and exciting to him. Something worth working for. We work towards paychecks, kids will work for praise and positive attention if given the opportunity. I also wouldn’t Start the chores by giving too much if he was never responsible for chores before. You know what he’s capable of, start there. TRY TRY TRY not to get overwhelmed (I know, easier said than done) but he will feed off whatever energy you give off. So if you’re showing anger or anxiety from his reaction, it will result in nervous energy from him. It’s really all about control. Self control to keep calm and loving and household control. He needs to know that you’re the boss and your job Is to teach him how to respect others, how to follow directions and how how to be mommys little helper (which will teach him independence) Personally, I would consistently reiterate that to my son, because I would want him to understand that as his mom thats my job, along with teaching him how to deal with life. You’re upset with mommy? Ok, tell me why. You never know why someone else is upset until tge express it, and the same goes for your child. Hes human and experiences human feelings and reactions and his outbursts are him not knowing how to deal. Maybe he yells that you’re the mean mommy because he didn’t win the game you guys played. Well, ask him… why does that make me mean? Sometimes people don’t win. You shouldn’t be mad at mommy, you should be happy for her and try harder next time. But when he then says "I wanted to show you " then you tell him to use his words better and try again. There’s no reason to be mean. Afterall, if he won, you wouldn’t call him mean, you praise him and congratulate him.

If any of that makes sense, I hope it helps. But like I said to start:it’s never too late and hes still so young.
You got this Mama

My son does this he’s 6 and a half he calls me mean all the time it gets right on my nerves! Because I’m not! I have to tell myself he’s just a little boy and expressing his displeasure the only way he knows how… I think they are still very egocentric at this age and haven’t really developed empathy… I’m
Just starting to introduce chores but I think at this age tidying toys away and putting clothes in the laundry basket is enough and easy to remember. I’d also personally re think time out? Why are you doing this? If it’s punishment then don’t… it’s counter productive and just makes them more angry or they will forget and play with toys…. It doesn’t help them regulate emotions! He needs your help to do that…. Try time ‘in’ instead… Google it…. You can help him calm down to a place where he’s able to hopefully have a productive conversation about his behaviour, whilst he still feels secure and that your present in the moment with him
I’m not sure what you mean about routine either like I’m sure you will have a kind of routine? Like bath time bed time etc ? Yes it defo helps
But above all else try not to give yourself a hard time we are all doing our best and it’s not bloody easy being a single parent…. I know :purple_heart:

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Therapy helps a lot. They can help him manage his emotions and help you learn how to use different techniques

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Do what you want anyway and ignore the negative behavior. Do not baby him. It will change.

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He’s playing you, you need to harden yourself to him, as harsh as it sounds if you don’t it will only get worse as he gets older. He misbehaves take something the he cherishes don’t tell him your going to, just pick it up and put it somewhere he’ll find it then tell him that once he learns to have some respect he’ll get it back. Alternatively get the help of a local cop, a male officer will have a better effect. Have the cop explain the importance of treating your mother and others with respect then have him show your son the inside of the lock up and tell him this is where disrespectful people end up.

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A darn good spank (the shock value)and consistent discipline puts a bratty kid right🤷
You are not his friend, you are his parent! Act like it🤷
He’ll thank you later

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Routine goes a long way with children and it’s never too late. If timeout is in a room or something he’s able to get to to occupy himself get him a chair in the living room or somewhere where you can keep an eye on him. My son has been this way too it was really hard for me I was exhausted completely wanted to give up however he just expects things playing video games needs to be earned going outside and playing needs to be earned simple things taking out the trash setting the table vacuuming anything cuz that’s how the real life is when we grow up we need to take care of our responsibilities before we can go out and play it’s not too young to start him when we’re older things aren’t just handed to us and he needs to learn that so he can be successful young man God bless I’ll be praying for you best of luck :pray:t2:

He sounds like he needs therapy, you should not feel isolated, talk to his pediatrician. Do not let him manipulate you, he needs to do his chores and his schoolwork and play in his spare time and its WAY ok to be MEAN. When he says that say “yes I am mean” “now go away and do what you’re told” “call me when you’re done so I can inspect”, you should go out and have friends and that should not stop, dating doesn’t have to happen in front of him.

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You feel guilty for being a single mom without realizing it so you’ve allowed him to get away with bad behavior. I did the same thing and my 6 yr old got kicked out of school and I had to homeschool him last yr. I REALLY started disciplining as in taking away the tablet, the Legos and spanking if necessary. He does chores but he also gets a $5 a week allowance for doing his chores. You get paid at your job so should he. I reward my son with new lego sets and fun days out when he’s been really good for a whole week. We did cut out Red dye as well and added melatonin to his vitamins at nite. He wasn’t sleeping well.

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My son is the same way and he has ADHD and ODD

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John Jb Avila who does this sound like

Maybe it’s time to seek therapy or counseling for him or even as a family. It could be a bunch of things causing his outbursts and frustration including not having a father figure in his life to teach him and seeing and hearing other kids doing all kinds of stuff with their dads. And then you I’m sure have felt guilty about him not having a dad so you let him get away with more than usual. Just remember not to say anything hurtful out of temporary frustration and anger because it will be engraved permanently in their little minds even if you don’t mean it.

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I used to have my kids do time out beyond what I called pushing the wall. Hands on wall with arms extended with legs as far away from wall that feet remain flat on floor. That way he cant find something to play with. Trust me after a few minutes arms start to hurt and boogers start flowing cause they want to cry. It works miracles I also used a switch to swat them on the bottom you dont need to spank them hard but enough to sting a bit. And before you comment there is nothing wrong with spanking your kids and they is a huge difference from discipline and abuse. Goodluck mama

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Chores are a great way to start! My only advice would be ease into them, so two chore once or twice one week then add more in as you go. We reward for the more chores, they have basic chores that have to be done and then a few extra where they can earn things or money for choosing to do them …properly haha

Therapy would be a big help in a situation like this. In the meantime, a routine would be helpful. That way he would come to know things are expected of him and when. Yes, when he doesn’t mind, you will have to start putting up toys as discipline. When he says you’re being mean, you’re going to have to learn to say, I am not being mean, I am teaching you to be a good boy. You are acting like a mean boy right now. When you start your routine, chores will need to come before playtime. If chores don’t get done. Then he might lose TV time or a toy. Don’t keep him busy for a really long time, but he can help with collecting his dirty clothes, cleaning up his room, making his bed, feeding any pets, or any other small things. Then let him play for awhile. After school, he should come in, change out of his school clothes, do his homework, do his chores, then play. I would keep the chores light after school. There’s usually not much daylight after school. He needs to unwind. Chores could possibly wait till after supper. But get him into therapy as soon as you can. He needs it.

He needs help from a professional. Every time my kids tell me I’m mean I tell them that means I’m doing my job right… sounds like he knows he controls the situation you have got to take that from him, weather it be spankings time out stuck in his bed room with nothing but pillow blanket and bed… be strong…

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Play is intricle to a childs developement. Kids need as much a possible

Don’t expect common sense or gratitude from a 6 year year old but do expect respect. What is his currency? Screen time, special treats, playtime? Use that as your carrot towards better behavior. Chores right after school will back fire on you as kids need some downtime after school to play and switch gears for other tasks. Maybe an hour or two buffer will make it easier. Six year old respond well to tangible rewards and behavior charts. They love earning stickers or stars towards a prize or goal. Lower your expectations and raise your awareness of kid sized manipulation. He obviously knows how to push your buttons and use it toward his advantage- that is NOT lack of common sense.

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This is how my 8 year old nephew is. If he doesn’t like something, he will go cry. He will write notes about how he has no family or no one likes him, etc. we will be starting a chore list as well. Anything to him is considered “boring” unless he’s playing the ps4 or on his phone. Once he gets in his mood he won’t talk. He has started therapy and he loves it.

So maybe you can get him into some therapy.

Parent child interaction therapy should help. Best to get him in ASAP before he turns 7 yrs old cause they don’t take kids after 6 yrs old. It’ll help you both.

There’s a difference between teaching and telling

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Take away toys or start having him so chores or make a routine for him to follow

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You should have started teaching respect way before age 6.

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put your foot down and say NO

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Honestly my son is the same way although he does listen he gets so caught up in his own energy i think. Spend more time with him not that you don’t but not just like take him somewhere and let them run actually like hands on time with them and build a calmer bond by doing hands on things art projects beach sand castle days so on… and honestly 7 was a tough age and then again at 9 and now 12

Also use his things as a earning system not a take away system someone once told me. Like he doesn’t get his play time until like his room is clean or something and if it takes all day it takes all day but the more consistent you are it will change.

Look into the Positive Parenting Solution.

I think some counseling together might help a lot.

He is the one who is mean. Sounds like you are a great mom who is burned out by his shenanigans. I’m a mom of multiple who knows what’s it’s like to have children who knows right from wrong but still chooses to act up a lot. They are very smart but you have to always be one step ahead. If you know how his response would be to a particular request, beat him at his own game and respond differently than you usually would. Sometimes we have to leave them confused because they want to outsmart us so bad but um no. Smile. Hope things turn around in your favor :two_hearts:

Yes a child need routine an structure. However once you set these chores you can not back down if he has dishes or whatever he does those before play time no exceptions if you back down he will run all over you. You can’t let this happen. It’s gonna take time and patients with him since you have never done this with him. Also my kids are in bed by 9 pm nightly.so you can catch a break and enjoy some mom time as far as friends or boyfriends don’t let him tell you that you can’t have them you need friends and a social life you are human
My children have daily chores before they can get their phones or watch TV. They know if they don’t do them no phone or TV will be allowed take phones tablets TV remotes until chores are done
Also I would have a talk with him about how things are going to change in the house let him know your planning a chore list for him. He will not like it though but he will eventually come to terms with it if you stand firm in. What you tell him consistency is the key. Best of luck

Routine is incredibly important. Coming from an ASD mama. Don’t give in if hes throwing a fit otherwise that’s what he knows works. And also if a child doesn’t tell you you’re mean at least once, then you’re doing something wrong. Give him chores. Hell learn responsibility. If he does it well and learns to respect you and his home, throw in a random reward once in awhile. Hell earn it but he also won’t know when to expect it.

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My daughter called me a mean mom once. I laughed and said good and walked into a different room.

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If you’re not “the world’s meanest mom” in your kids opinion at least once, you’re not doing parenthood right. I tell my kids all the time “I’m your mom, not your friend. My job is to teach you to be a decent person so we can be friends when you’re grown.”

Another one of my favorite mom quotes is “you don’t have to like me, but you will respect me.” You have to teach respect from an early age and letting him talk to you like that isn’t how that happens. Some kids can get all the positive reinforcement in the world and nothing will change until they start getting consequences. My son is 6 and has spent a few weekends grounded for some of the things he has said. Now, he knows to think before he opens his mouth in anger.

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My daughter is so o much like your son in she’s on 3 different meds.for most part if she has her phone or toys she’s calm .but she don’t like helping around the house.if she gets money for a reward then she does some things.i spend time with her in give her hugs in she’s always asking if I love her.i always let her know she’s loved.

Some of that is normal at 6. However, you’re not being mean and the hard part is staying consistent. I try to tell my kids when they say hurtful things that their feelings are fine. That they don’t have to like me. I’m their mom first and I love them no matter what.
It isn’t mean to teach your child responsibility. They need to learn lessons now because trying to learn them as adults sucks. Right now it is hard. It will get better.
Also I suggest taking him out. If he misbehaved give him a warning to stop or you’re leaving. If he doesn’t listen then drop whatever you’re doing and bounce out. If he throws a fit about that then warn him he will be grounded or whatever punishment you see fit. Then if he again ignores you follow through. Oh gosh it is so hard sometimes. You just want them to enjoy life, but your consequences now will save him from harsh ones later. He will thank you later. Stay consistent and don’t threaten something you won’t follow through on. My oldest is 13 and he is finally realizing mommy won’t play. I’ve been lenient for many years and finally I’m getting firmer again. My house is running much smoother. We do a daily chore (most days) and they have to keep their rooms clean. I allow them to question me. I don’t want little soldiers following orders. However, I also will say asked and answered. I’m not arguing with them.

Another thing. Maybe he feels neglected or abandoned by the people you’ve drifted from. That could leave him feeling isolated as much as you. So maybe reach out and try to build some of those bridges back up.

don’t know how many chores you have for him, But remember he is only 7 yrs old, Just picking up after himself & try to keep his room clean & neat really is all at this age is needed

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He’s manipulative and playing on your weaknesses. He doesn’t mean what he’s saying.

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