Hi! Needing some help with my 6 year old and potty training. She was potty trained for a few months when she was 2 but me and her dad were newly divorced and he was temporarily living in another state then she back tracked and now she’s 6 in kinder and STILL will not poop in the potty. I have tried everything and her doctor claimed she would grow out of it in kinder but we are half way through and clearly she is not. I have tried everything and I’m so sick of the screaming and the stress of getting her to poop in the potty. Thank suggestions are welcome
Massage castor oil into her tummy left side or in belly button or all over and take away her pull-ups if she has them set timers & make sure she has privacy but I swear I tried everything for my daughter for years castor oil works poor kid struggled for 8 years and I had to take her to the hospital once over it we just found this out a month or two ago no problems since.
So, Dr always tells me to retrain my son to have normal bowel movements…let them eat and then when they are done they need to sit on the potty. I usually give my kid like 10-15 mins after then make him. I will allow electronics to keep entertained til he goes. I’d try hard to get them to go before and after school since not around for lunch as much as possible so it becomes more routine.
Next time let her clean after herself even when its half let her know it is oky when you make a mistake soooo lets corect it. It’s been hard on all of you, stay strong mamma you got this We are build different!
A sticker chart? My little girls 5 and she loves stickers. Maybe of you could get a line of say 5 stars your little one gets a treat of some kind x
Have an OT help. We did for my 6 yo and it helped massively. He needed help with interception - understandings his body clues to know he needed to poo. One strategy was 15 minutes after eating he had to sit on the toilet and just try. We praised heaps just for the sitting there regardless of if he pooed. The bodies natural rhythm is to go at that timing as advised by ot. She also helped with diet to help with what was coming out.
Following… Same issue with my 6 year old daughter.
I learned with my first that potty training is kind of like a dance. They HAVE to lead. You support. You’ll see signs. Go on them. Don’t yell. Don’t shame. Maybe small rewards when she goes? Maybe start with small goals. Then get bigger. Hugs, it is frustrating, but you’ve got this.
Honestly my 4 year old still does from time to time don’t yell will make her hid it iv noticed girls are harder I suggest setting up a reward system also ask her why she is like does it hurt or why you hiding she’s old enough to vocalize my daughter does if she has a rash because she goes on her own and sometimes just forgets to wipe so I’ll talk to her about being a girl it’s important to always wipe idk girl it’s tricky each kid is different
I have no suggestions,but will,pray that this situation gets resolved. Please keep us posted.
With a lot of patience and love 2- make sure every time she eats give her 15-20 min, take her & give her a toy of her preference, it will take time but eventually she’ll go ! You got this Momma
I go in and read a favorite book to my granddaughter!!! She is 3 1/2! She’s been potty trained since before summer ended! She started preschool and did fine, then end of September her baby brother was born, and now she needs help!! No worries, I just go in and we talk or read a book!!
I had my kids go without any pants or underpants, while at home. It hits them differently to use the bathroom when there are no pants to catch it. Perhaps you could give this a try.
Tell her she’s gotta feed the bears!
I need to start my grandson soon too he is 3 but not ready yet it’s been 35 years since I potty trained a boy:tired_face:
Make her clean it up herself.
You’ll need alot of patience .Let her go every 15 mins until she get a hang of it .You can sing or read to her also
I’ve never been above bribing my children Gummy bears worked for me potty training the kids.
I would talk to her pediatrician about tips and advice
Wait a minute who’s doing the screaming you or her I hope it’s not you at her first of all. Next, I know you said you’ve tried everything but is it a possibility she is constipated and is having trouble producing and or maybe it hurts her to do it so she avoids it something to take into consideration if you haven’t already, been there done that I know all too well about the constipation thing
Oh Mama I feel you, we are going through this with our 5year old & just got over it (but with bed wetting not pooping) with our 7year old.
Without 7yr old we withheld sleepovers & friend visits. It worked. 2 months strong without an accident
With our 5year old it’s been interesting, he seems to not care if he’s pooped and will continue to play etc. so we bribed with treats. We’ve also moved him up to big boy body wash/shampoo got him a deodorant and a body spray. Yes I realize he’s 5 but you gotta do what works for you! So far he’s been getting much much better.
We also work with Children’s Mental Health and it’s helping.
The constant life challenges and changes in our lives are the root of his bathroom behaviours, is what we believe. We did some google research as to why he could be doing it.
It could be his diet, could be psychological like us, could be a few other things.
Way to much shaming and judging. Some kids are afraid they will go down the toilet. Maybe try a potty chair and then throw it in the toilet. I totally understand your frustration. I hope this helps. I had a nephew that refused to poo in the toilet. This helped us.
Stop giving out to her, it’ll put her off, make a chart, give rewards, take her to the bathroom with you.
Try a reward system instead of screaming at her, I wouldn’t poop with someone screaming and stressing at me either.
Put the nappy over the potty…not on them…worked for my son.
My 3 year old would go to the potty to pee but would not go to poop. After months of frustration found out he was afraid of the flush. He thought he would go with it. It sound funny now but we had an awful time with him. His twin had no problem.
Get some help! Doctor!
At 6 years old it is important your child gets the help needed as it may cause major problems.
Time when she goes with no restrictions. She should be regular. Send her to the bathroom ten minutes before usual time. Be consistent.
See a urologist for children for undetermined problems.
Firstly make sure she isn’t suffering from severe constipation as she will not poo on potty if she has this. My daughter had to have a flush out in order for her bowels to work and alot of patience and reassurance and medication daily. Finally… after alot of hard work she now wears undies and is toilet trained at 3yrs8mnths.
There is a YouTube video called “poo poo song” this really helped my little girl.
Potty training can get frustrating but the best thing we can do is be patient and caring. Yelling and disciplining them will only make things worse.
Goodluck x
Have you taken her to a specialist to see if there’s an underlying condition, colitis, etc… if it’s maybe stress related you screaming at her isn’t helping. I think you need to look into this more
If it hurts when she is pooping why would she poo? That in itself can cause a regression. It’s probably stuck and will hurt.
Are you still putting diapers or pull ups on her?? My son is 3 and started preschool last year, but still wasn’t pooping on the potty. His teacher told me to stop putting diapers on him at bed time, because it’s just making him regress by knowing he can hold it until he gets a diaper on. She said I might have to clean a few messes but that’s what we do as moms. The first week of school we stopped pull-ups at naps and bedtime and at first he cried for a diaper then the 2nd day he ran down to the potty and went! He also had one accident the first week and that was all it took for his body to recognize when he needed to use the bathroom at night and he gets up and comes into our room at night now to use the restroom on his own! He completely potty trained in the first week of following her advice!
Oh gosh, I read your entire post. And some of the comments. I just can’t with some of the responses. But here is my thoughts with zero judgement. I have potty trained 4 kids and they were all different.
A trauma. A regression and a negative parental response to a regression. Which will prolong and make the regression worse. ( it’s so frustrating, I get it )… my suggestion is to back off. Support, encourage. Reward the little wins. Work on your own reactions and emotional response to accidents. Get her in some therapy that can work wonders. And maybe try some miralax to loosen it all up.
Why the hell are there so many judgmental people in here Ohmygod. Who cares how old the little girl is, the mom is asking for help.
ANYWAYS, I went through something similar, I just potty trained my son later but he still had trouble going to the bathroom in a toilet if he wasn’t home with me.
So one thing I might suggest is talking to a GI doctor because she could be in pain possibly and having trouble going to the bathroom at all.
I also got these kids fiber bars for my son and pushed drinking water, and it helped him need to go more, and then had me cheering him on going to the bathroom so he knew it was okay.
His problem was he was embarrassed to go to the bathroom and tell someone other than me he had to go. So I just explained to him it was okay, and I had a talk with his pre k teacher about it, and he eventually got comfortable enough with her and his class room, that he was able to voice his needs.
Good luck mama! This parenting thing is hard!
Maybe make her sit on the toilet till she goes, had to do this with my brother. Strapped him on the potty chair(child’s on the floo), shut the door left him thier till he went. Yes checked on him every few minutes. Sometimes tough love is what it takes, of course make sure it’s nothing medically wrong first.
Give her some coffee and gave her sit in the potty
So my 2 year old is TERRIFIED of pooping. She cries (it’s so sad to watch) and screams and gets so upset. Her doctor recommended lots of fiber to where she literally can’t hold it. Maybe get rid of the pull ups/diapers and flush her full of fiber? I would definitely talk TO her NOT AT her. I will also add my older daughter wore pull-ups to bed until she was 4. We talked about how she is a big girl now and the pull ups have to go. She cried and said she’s scared she’s going to pee in her bed. I reassured her that she probably won’t BUT if she does then we will clean it. No big deal! So we picked a day together to get rid of the pull-ups. It was 1 week exactly after this conversation. She’s now 6 and all is well. Everyone wants to feel understood. I would definitely try to empathize with her. When my daughter is scared of something, like the dark, I say something like “the dark can be very scary. I totally understand. I scares me too sometimes and I’m a grow up!” We all just want to be heard. Talk to her and try to work with her. Best of luck
Is the school helping? I had a friend who child wasnt potty trained going into kindergarten (she tried everything, but worked full time and shes almost positive that the sitter wasnt working with her too so it was very tough) and the school was helping potty train. She asked the school what they were doing and started doing the same things and within a couple weeks her daughter was fully potty trained
Maybe consulting will help.
Legit—- look up Mineral Oil for constipation.
It’s been used for ages, and it’s a very gentle way to prevent/resolve constipation.
You can only use it every few days tho- but it really does help with regulating her bowels.
Basically, it coats the GI tract , and helps makes the soft/super easy to pass.
It has no taste - but you can mix it in any kind of liquid. We always stirred it in grape juice (or any tart juice,(and sucked it down with a straw. My kids swear by it.
Well, ya know, try not screaming? If she’s screaming, have her calm down? Also take her back to the doctor.
First things first have her checked by the Dr for constipation. My son was like this. He was probably 8 the last time he pooped his pants. It was in school the kids made fun of him and he never did it again. I didn’t like that he got made fun of. Screaming at them also doesn’t help trust me I did it. She’s six make her clean it up herself. When my daughter was little she would refuse to go to the toilet at stores because of the auto flush she would think she’d go down the drain. Consistency is key if she poops on the potty give her tons of praise. Get a sticker chart when she poops on the toilet days in a row she gets a piece of candy or and incentive.
All Undies ALL THE TIME. No exceptions. No pull ups or ANYTHING like that. And have rewards on hand for poop in the potty.
Screaming won’t help but positive reinforcement will help. ((((Hugs)))
If she is screaming while attempting to pass a bowel movement, then it’s probably compacted and extremely painful. One painful bowel movement can cause a child to regress. I would suggest first asking her doctor for enema for her. The ones they prescribed my daughter were inserted into her rectum and I think they dissolved. If that doesn’t work, ask for a referral for a gastroenterologist. This can be a long road that you have to travel down. It took a year with monthly visits to Duke Children’s Hospital, enemas, daily exlax, daily miralax, 2 colonoscopies, a contrast enema, and for them to stick a tube up my daughter’s nose and pump her full of hospital grade enemas for her to start going on her own. In the end, Duke threw up their hands and couldn’t figure out what was going on. My husband and I weaned her off the laxatives and she was able to go on her own again. This started on my daughter’s first birthday. She is now 13 years old and has had no more issues with passing a bowel movement. Each child is different and what worked on one may not work for another. This is just what we had to do. Best of luck and prayers for you and your little one.
is she in panties ? & maybe take her to another dr … maybe use a chart & stickers …
It took me until I was 6.5 years old to poop in the toilet. My mom told me she just took off the diaper and told me I couldn’t poop in that anymore. She said I would hold it to the point that I was forced to let it go in a toilet.
So many experts on here and half of them didn’t even read the whole comment. She said she was trained and then regressed. Stop being so judgemental. Who knows what the child has been through.
Wow times has changed my son was almost 18 month and potty trained it’s not easy the parent has to keep at it and reward when they seceed praise etc . But 6 yrs you need to find out if she is in pain and have her checked out
Is she on the spectrum? Just curious. I’ve only heard of children on the spectrum taking that long to be potty trained. Never heard of children taking that long other wise. Keep trying don’t give up
I’m having the same problem with my 8 year old autistic son. He’ll pee but not poop. He was constipated once, & when he finally went it was painful. So now he’s scared. We’ve tried laxatives & enemas. Both had opposite affects & stopped him up. I took him to a gi doc & he checked out fine. So we’re being patient, & trying to encourage. Luckily, he holds it until he’s home, so we’ve had no accidents in public or at school. I came here for the comments, hoping to find something I haven’t tried. But this comment thread is brutal.
My youngest was the hardest to potty train when it came to pooping. We bought a big pack of hot wheels and displayed it on the top of the fridge. Whenever he pooped on the potty he got to pick one out. After a week or two it was one car a day that he pooped Everytime on the potty (he started stopping to get a car and then later have to finish and ask for diaper so had to modify). We stretched by two days, a week, etc then he just stopped asking for them. Maybe try with something she likes or a small chest with dollar tree toys or special treats (my oldest did a pop for a poop and would get a lolli every time he pooped on the potty). If you think she may be picky about the gift box, maybe even wrap each one so they are surprises and she can’t choose not to go or get a prize because she’s already picked all the ones she particularly likes
Mine did this for a very long time. Nothing really worked and the doctors said there was nothing medically wrong. I did make him clean out his own underwear. My others learned from that. Might try that
Can’t use a divorce as excuse not to potty train. You child still had to come first. Hope she isn’t in diapers… Remind her she is not a BABY and big girls don’t wear diapers. Maybe take her to the store and let her pick out her own undies. If she poops herself, make her sit in it, I guarantee she won’t like it all. Like jesus I had a child that had to have many brain surgeries due to a condition and she was still potty trained at 2.
If you are screaming at her then first thing you need to do is stop that. If she is screaming then she’s clearly terrified for some reason or hurting. You need to help her through it and teach her not to be afraid by figuring out why she is afraid or why she is screaming and fixing that. My daughter wet herself until she was that age. She had a fear of bathrooms. I learned that I had to open the shower curtain and keep it open at night or she wouldn’t go. I also let her leave the door open while she went. Whatever you do don’t shame her for it. Have patience and figure out the root of her problem.
I’m literally going through this with my 4yr old. She was potty training and just just quit wanting to.
My grandson needed a pooping book.
If she is stressed about it .
It may be hard for her to poop.
So try to get her to relax.
My grandaughter we gave rewards.
My daughter was potty trained at 8 months. She would just crawl over to her potty in bathroom pull off her diaper and poop.
She did not like a poopy diaper.
This is something I went through with my daughter, however, she was a lot younger, but close to being six now. She would scream, cry, kick while on the potty and refuse to poop. Our situation was constipation due to fear of pooping. She would scream in pain because her bowels needed that release, but because she held it in made it even more painful and difficult to pass, which again made her scared of pooping.
What was advised to us from our Paediatrician, was high fibre foods, lots of water/fluid, fresh fruits with daily use of Restoralax, which is just softens up your stool so it can pass. Daily activity to get those bowels moving. As stressful as it can be to you, imagine the stress for your girl, it’s quite painful. One thing I had my girl do too, is bring her knees up, her chin would literally rest on her knees while on the potty and it would help the bm exit the body.
I’d honestly take her in again, maybe to a different doctor if you feel you need to, and explain your scenario, please don’t use a suppository or any type of laxative because it can cause a lot of damage, especially if she’s not pooping regularly.
maybe try taking her to a gi dr-sometimes when kids are constipated they can be in a lot of pain and the withholding behavior continues making it a really bad cycle-do any incentives work for her?
Put her on potty after eating and make her stay there.
My middle babe did this… she would hold in her pooop and then it would be too big and would hurt her so she would basically slowly release it into her pants. And it would be awful smelling. They told me to give her mirlax daily and it’ll soften it up and be less painful… (if this is the case) I also used a tablet and made her sit there when I would see her making the motions of about to crap her pants
Have you tried stool softeners? My daughter never wanted to poop and would hold it in leading her to being constipated and crying about pooping. I also would sit with her while she pooped and told her to squeeze my hand as hard as she could!
Karo syrup mixed with some warm milk will help! Old remedy and it works
I say let her go without a diaper, then make her clean her undies by hand every single time. Tell her if she wants to be a big girl and poop in her undies at the same time then she needs to be a big girl and clean her undies. No gloves. I know it’s super gross to even think about, but it might help her understand that it’s gross.
She is probably stressed with the changes,being screamed and yelled at,isn’t helping (not trying to sound mean or rude)Have you seen a gi Dr at all?
Ok I’m a little lost here…not 2 b disrespectful I’m just curious…why are u just potty training a 6 year old
Wow…so neglect after the split up and getting yelled at now for not using the potty…please seek therapy for yourself and child. Yelling and going crazy on the child for not using the potty is probably the reason she is scared…the kid is six and still learning and everything at that age and you are losing your mind and doing that kind of stuff is just scaring this poor child more…
She has been thru a traumatic experience. Some children are more sensitive emotionally than normal. Sounds like she needs therapy.
I would also teach her hygiene in that bacteria and germs in feces cause disease and other medical problems. She’s not too young to understand. Look at it as a mental challenge. Not a punishing one. God bless.
The only way i could get my son to do it was to buy fake money and when he pooped he got paid. At the end of the day or week he could buy items from me that i had got from the dollar store. It had movies and toys. Treats and games. Was the only thing that worked. We began with a pottu chair in the living room and moved it closer to the bathroom then the big potty.
My youngest goes back wards too at times and his in kindergarten. Being upset won’t help the situation I bribe my son any way I can it really helps I always take extra clothes for him for school! If he didn’t have no accidents we choose ice cream or his choice of food, or a toy at the store at the end of the week I’m grateful my sons teacher is really communicative and takes my son more often and reminds him he doesn’t have to be embarrassed to ask for help but generally my son just tries to hold it in that’s the problem when his in the middle of something and the doc, said their was a diagnoses for that! But being angry or upset won’t encourage or help your little one. I had to stop telling my son we will put him back in diapers!
Linda Mueller i feel for you we are in the middle if training my 3 year old grandson not easy after25 years i watch him while my daughter works we got baskets at both homes with surprises and he picks something out when he goes potty some days he does great other days not so well
First of all you need to quit screaming
Look up encopresis. I’m not sure if it’s spelled right. Maybe it will help you understand what she is going through.
Something is going on with her and she needs to talk to someone. Stop shaming her and work with her.
At 6 she should be going on the toilet not the potty . If not tell her you are going to put her back in nappies . She might not want the nappies on
Is she in pull ups ? Diapers ? If so , those need to go out the door . I doubt she will enjoy the smell
And feel
Of poo in her panties .
I also
Think she needs to see a child
Psychologist or play therapist as this abnormal
Behavior unless she has special
Needs
Maybe don’t scream at her etc to get on the toilet, put her on the toilet before a poo or during or after and explain to her that’s where it goes etc and maybe try treats after she’s gone to the toilet and more attention because it could be a cry for attention from your little girl
1 st of all , do you notice screaming doesn’t help, wow . Do you know how to calmly speak to your child without being an ass. Talk to her calmly and ask her . You may be making it worse by screaming.
Try not yelling at your child over potty training. It’s very counterproductive and traumatizing
Stop yelling first off that’s just making the whole situation way worse. It’s not encouraging your child’s body to relax and be able to even try. Take a break and then start over calmly. Also she needs aa real check up bc she could be constipated. You can still get poop out and be constipated. May need a regimen with a stool softener if she is. What exactly caused the backtracking? Was it lack of keeping up with it, some sort traumas, etc?
First, stop the screaming & stress! You’re making her afraid to use the restroom.
Second, use rewards. Not punishment.
Third, quit using your personal life as an excuse to not parent.
why are you screaming and stressing? maybe that is her/the problem. Be gentle, compassionate and kind to her. Could it be bad parenting?
It’s crazy that she’s not using the toilet at her age. Unless she has other problems it sounds like lazy parenting.
At 6 years old she should be fully potty trained except for night time. Unless of course theres some kind of disability like autism. Try a reward system instead of screaming at her. And also make her clean the mess up herself. I had issues with my 4 year old purposely peeing on the floor or couch. Once I started making her clean it up herself she stopped doing it. Screaming at her isn’t going to help her. Typically kids poop around the same time everyday. Give or take. Watch for that time and enforce that she tries to go potty. Also another factor to add is she autistic? Also could have something to do with it. Or is she getting bullied? With you and her dad not together that probably is what is causing it. So therapy may or may not need to be co side to help with that.
Stop screaming at her for one. Lol. That just makes her think that screaming and the potty will go hand in hand. You really don’t want her to have an unhealthy relationship with the bathroom. Instead. First try incentives. Candy, small toys. That sort of thing. If it’s not a doctor issue, she may just need some good old fashioned encouragement! Also make it fun and not “scary”. Try letting her sit backwards and use dry erase markers to doodle on the toilet seat. It’s fun and is a great stem activity. Could also be a position thing. If she has an issue with constipation, it could be the way she sits that makes it strenuous and uncomfortable. If that’s the case, let her position her feet on the toilet seat and " skwat". Hope this helps
Honestly when it’s behavioral all you can do is wait them out and encourage them to use the potty. My oldest went through it when I got divorced and when she was ready she went back to using the potty. It’s frustrating and upsetting but they have to control something in a situation they don’t feel like they have any.
Very similar situation with my eldest daughter she regressed at the end of her 4th year and by the time she was turning 6 she was back in good nights because similarly the Dr said she would grow out of it with peers being trained and not in pull ups. She did not grow out of it by 6 I went through drs and specialists (gastrointestinal Dr, nutritionist) it wasn’t until she started play therapy and was able to overcome the fear.
Things I learned
She as constantly constipated from anxiety so it hurt to poop so she then withheld and would end up compacted. This would not change with the 18 months of hospital visits, diet change and clearing her out medically with miralax prescribed, the suppository treatment, nor the in house hospital enemas. It was a complete mental block at that point. For us within 2-3 months of therapy she was back to fully potty trained no more wetting the bed or refusing to poop on the potty. She was 7 when it all went back to normal she will be 10 in March and still things are going fantastic.
I send you all of the courage and power I can through text on the Internet from one extremely tired mama to the next. You’re doing great you’ve got this!
Okay so with the divorce and regression there’s obviously some emotional trauma involved here.
I’ve potty trained multiple kids.
My advice. Do not force her. That is going to have the opposite effect of what you want. You’re stressed and upset she’s stressed and upset. That’s not helpful for anyone. Obviously we need her to get on board with pooping on the potty so make it fun exciting and make it something she wants to do.
Poop chart. everytime she tries to poop on the potty. It’s a poop party we celebrate and she gets a sticker to go for a big prize so like every 10 times she tries she gets a prize (I do not recommend food being used as a prize but make it something attainable that you will be able to keep up with) notice I said tries. That doesn’t mean she has to poop but we need noticeable trying.
If she poops on the toilet she gets a prize no stickers just give her the prize.
I would recommend counseling for her as well because emotionally she’s got some stuff going on. My daughter who was 4 when me and her dad got divorced needed counseling there is NOTHING wrong with someone who can help them cope and understand the crap in today’s world.
Also pay attention to her pooping habits what time she poops approx and how often and what the consistency is. My oldest daughter same one I mentioned needed therapy. Had huge poop issues when she was younger when she was 6 she would hold her poop in when she was at her dads because she would get yelled at if she didn’t wipe good enough. But if she’s struggling with constipation and pooping on the potty observing that will help you notice and figure out ways to help her
Stop screaming and treating her poorly and maybe she will do it. Did you ever think about that? You’re making the whole situation worse and you’re the problem, not her.
Every evening make her sit on the potty with a book of her choice for a few minutes. Even if she doesn’t need to go it will possibly establish a routine and she will end up going. Just a thought. Beet of luck mamma.
Stop babying her. Make her clean up all her poopy pants. Make her clean up her own self. Let her be embarrassed at school. Embarrassment can be the best punishment.
Anyone that says this is cruel is the reason she still 6 and not potty trained.
Spankings work too but too many people think that’s barbaric. But a six yr old pooping on herself isn’t.
Why would you wait so long. Lazy and excuses. No reason for your 6 year old to not be potty trained unless she has a learning or physical disability. Neglect and pure laziness on parents part.
So many judgmental ppl wow
First: stop screaming: children hold their stress in their bowels and stomach. It’s why their “tummy hurts” when things go bad around them.
Second: hug her.
Stop judging her by everyone else’s standards. Stop.
No one else except her matters.
Only her feelings in this matters.
Only SHE matters.
Now Breathe.
Breathe past your stress and their judgements and the world.
Breathe past yourself and look at her.
She is small - and relies on you: you are her Mother, and Mother is God in the eyes of a child.
And she is a child.
And God (you) are mad at her - and judging her - and HURTING her feelings.
Breathe past that: she is the only thing that matters here. That’s it.
Now: look up Zucchini Bread, and add 4 tbsp baking cocoa powder to it. (Assuming she likes chocolate.)
Give her ONE mini muffin at dinner. She will need to poop by morning.
Do it daily (ONCE) - it will naturally help her go.
PRAISE HER every time.
Hug her.
High five her.
Tell her you love her.
Because when parents are hard on small children, they don’t stop loving their parents: they stop living themselves.
And that is a HEAVY burden to carry - for the rest of their lives.
So for the first one. I bought him presents. Went to the dollar store and spent way to much money. He was almost 5 and still needed a diaper to poop. It worked. Every poop he got a gift. Then every other poop once he got into it. Then every week of poops until it was just a thing. It’s fear. They fear the potty. Also he needs a show. I give him his tablet. He still watches his tablet while pooping. I still wipe him at 6.5 but hey it worked. Second child was stubborn. I bought him v bucks. He loves fortnite bc his brother did. Still regressed. One day, a poopy diaper was outside in a baggie. It was hot out. I put it in the trash it barely missed and ended up on the ground next to the bin. Flies were all in it the next day it was so gross. I took advantage and said look buddy that’s what happens when I poop in a diaper. Those things wouldn’t feel good on my butt. I gave him a gross look and I could see his wheels turning. He did not need bribed after that. He refuses the diaper. Only the potty now. My daughter won’t pee on the potty. She’s almost 3. Only poops. She’s huge and I’m struggling to find diapers affordable that fit her. Might have to resort to drastic measures soon and really take a few days of extreme bribery and training. Try it all. Make the bathroom his best friend. The funnest calmest thing. My 1st grader still won’t poop on public. Or at school. It’s a fear for them. It’ll be ok. Just be there keep trying. You got this.
Does she wear regular u derwear? If not make her so she will know how it feels to walk around with poopy pants and how humiliating others will make u feel. U might try that.
My child if 7 and I’m still having the same problem. Drs say she will do it till 2nd grade or so. She had to repeat kindergarten so she is in 1st now.
Find. A. Grandma who. Needs. To love on. A. Child. Skip. The. Nick Picking love. Your. Child. Buy Her. A. Potty book stay. Calm. Read. To. Her. Hold. Her. Love. Her. She. Will. Quit screaming. She will. Learn. .
Bin the potty. When she poos in pants or nappy support her to tip it in the toilet and flush it away…”that’s where the poo goes”… some children are afraid of the sensation of the poo falling out of their bottom. Poo in pants while sitting on the toilet can be a 1st step. Another is cling film over the toilet bowl so they sit on the seat but can feel the poo against themselves…then tear the cling film and flush. Be matter of fact and calm (on the outside)
As I have seen others already say, make her clean herself up after she poops on herself! This has worked for us before… Maybe try a potty chair close to where you are. I had a potty chair in the bathroom and one in the kitchen/living room area so my son could go at any given time… He was pretty easy to train though… Maybe get a couple potty chairs… Baby steps!
I have a almost 5 year old (turns 5 Wednesday) she was almost potty trained then I had her little brother. Stickers have started working for us. She gets one when she goes potty pee or poop. If she poops her panties then a sticker gets taken away. Also she has to clean her own poopy underwear. I will sit with her while she does it. Scrubbs the poop out and sprays with shout. If she doesnt wanna clean them then they get thrown away. (I let her pick out a few sets she wanted before we started). We still have to remind her to go and even tried a potty watch. But she’s been doing better with the stickers and cleaning up after herself. Hang in there it will happen…or so I’m told