My husband and I struggle with housework. It is the ONLY thing we ever argue about. He works full time; I work full time. Both about 45-50 hours a week. We have one 1/2-year-old daughter & a six-year-old son. On the weekends, my husband either plays softball, or we go visit family. I cannot keep my house clean. Toys everywhere. Dishes in the sink. Granted, nothing is DIRTY (no food or drinks left out), but there’s just always shit all over. Always four loads of laundry to do can never stay caught up. I come home & cook, have dinner, play with the kids, do bedtime things, spend an hour with my husband, pick up, then go to bed. What am I doing wrong? Why can I not stay on top of this adulting/wifing/mom thing?!? Am I alone in this?! All tips and tricks welcome.
My mom was a single mom for years and I was at home watching my siblings, going to high-school while she was in college as well. It was rough. One thing we found that was easy to do was every night we would take a trash bag and go around the house for a set time (usually 10 minutes) and throw away all the trash we could. Old clothes, toys and everything that could go. Then we would split up the rooms in the house and set a timer for (15-30) mins in each room and cleaned as much as we could. If something had to go to another room we would make piles and take it afterwards. Yall could each do a room a night. Or do it together. Hope this helps! You got it!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I stay on top of housework with a full time job?
Is he helping? If you are both working full time, he needs to be helping as well.
Hire a maid. Seriously. Life is too short to worry about it. Making memories is more important. Plenty of time for a tidy house after the kids are older.
When you find the answer let me know 
same here… it never ends
It is everyone’s house, everyone should be cleaning. Talk to him. I know you are struggling but it will be ok, you are not alone
Take a day out the weekend to catch up and get stuff done. Y’all don’t always have to go out and see family or play softball. My husband and I agree on a day each weekend for picking up the house. The other day we go and see family,go out to town,or just relax and spend time with the kids. That’s the only way you can get stuff done. Dishes are a daily chore unfortunately,everything else just pick a day on the weekend and make it your cleaning day.
Checklists. Do a little bit every day
Hire somebody 
Takes a lot off your plate momma and if you’re working full time and so is he it’s $100 a week and worth it!
I don’t have any real advice, just wanted to let you know, that you’re not alone.
Your kids don’t remember how clean or dirty the house was but they do remember the memories your making instead!!
You just typed out my life. 
I want a laundry fairy and a maid.
Yeah… you gotta stay in the house to clean it. So, have a life or a clean house 
Honestly SAME!!! I always do my BIG cleaning on sundays and I mark one weekend a month to scrub my house. That’s it🤷♀️ I don’t stress over a lived home, we both work full time with a toddler and I clean on sundays (besides washing dishes and wiping counters every night)
Maid seriously check around they do stuff u don’t even think about. It’s not that expensive and worth it! Stop stressing! Life’s to short.
Hire someone to clean your home once a week or even every other week. Trust me, it’s worth it. The first deep clean is expensive but after that it’s just maintenance.
Get a cleaner 2
Hours per week and do the gap cleaning. They’ll do the bathrooms and vacuuming and kitchen in that time… it is a big help and will
Take the pressure off both of you. If you share the cooking and washing up and washing clothes then it’s even easier on you both. You both work hard enough. 2 hours per week is affordable.
Leave the weekends for more family time and put aside 1/3- 1/2 day one of the weekends to get anything else done and a head start on the next week
You both work full time, you both should cook and clean. You’re not his maid
Basically your working too many hours.
So what we do in my house granted your kids are a lot younger…but we have the kings and queens of making messes and never wanting to clean them up…so the rule in our house is if you have a cell phone which we bought cell phones for all the kids and you want to keep those privileges you are to keep your toys in your room at all times and make sure that your room is clean. I will do laundry and dishes any day, but cleaning toys is a no no,
Down size things…minimize. . rotate toys so it isnt overwhelming… get rid of clutter .
Who cares, its a home for you to relax. Is everyone happy? That is all that matters. Once a week big clean, the rest of the week keeping it as tidy as ya can. Ya’ll are working parents, live your life.
I’m in the same boat but it’s just me and the kids. I’m going to hire a cleaning lady for once or twice a week.
If your husband won’t help, hire someone to come in and clean. If hubby complains about the cost - tell him will either help with the housework - or just shut up.
Literally this is all of us. The key is to manage the stress and focus on what’s important. Is that a clean house or spending time with your family?
Hire a lady to clean your house.
Get a cleaner in twice a week… $20 a hour 2 hours twice a week… $80 
Work hard pay somebody else to do that
I have no advice but this is literally my life to the T 
but hey, we’re all happy and fulfilled so I guess that counts for something
Sometimes you have to stay home on the weekends to take care of your home…
Have a full day of clearing out every room,every cupboard etc if you can.Get on top of the washing,hoover,mop,sort rooms & livroom & same to the kitchen.Ask dad to take kids out for the day.Then onwards write a list everyday of something your going to do every night.30 mins every night.You would be surprised what you can achieve in 30 mins. put a wash on everyday after you wake up,hang it up before you leave.10 mins at night to keep.Ask hubby to help you do this every night too,be even faster with you both.Good luck x
Hire a housekeeper, teach the kids to pick up every day, do the dishes before bed every night, and a load of laundry every single day.
Higher a housekeeper or have a nanny include some basic cleaning/picking up.
I have always worked full time with 8 children still cleaned every evening
Does he help? I mean y’all both have full time jobs and it sounds like you are the only one doing anything.
Me and my husband work fulltime. I clean when im off work and when kids r asleep or I wait til I’m off to clean
Go out a buy a bunch of disposable dishes/eating utensils… It will help cut down on dishes.
Clean as you go…don’t allow things to pile up. If you stay on it all week, then on the weekend you only need an hour or less to clean.
I’m temporarily a SAHM due to maternity leave and summer break. I have a 8 year old and a 3 month old. I tell my husband all the time I’m not sure what we are going to do when I go back to work (4th grade teacher). Basically it come down to I have to be ok with knowing things won’t be perfect and when I need them done they will get done.
I think a lot of families have these kinds of issues. We try to have a chore a day so it’s just a few minutes and involve the kids (make laundry a game, see who can collect the most toys in a minute, etc) and just don’t let it overwhelm you because life is too short!
Both have full time jobs get a cleaning lady
Sounds like you’re the only one doing work. If it was two, plus your older kid for 15-30 minutes every afternoon, you would get more done. I’m going to start doing living areas on one day of the week, bathrooms Tuesday, bedrooms Wednesday, etc. I am so tired of not having weekends to do anything except housework. I hope this schedule will help- and no- you’re not alone!
I chose one day a week to clean and get laundry all caught up, and such.
Honestly spending time with your kids and family is more important than a tidy house.
Don’t run on the wkend! Take a day & clean & then one day to do extra fun stuff!! 
or just accept its lived in & you’ll get to it when you do
Just try to do a few small chores each night. Then the big stuff on weekends.
I’m home all day every day, husband works 6am-6pm mon to fri, and he still does more than me in the house. I have physical health issues and am currently 37w pregnant with our third child, whilst he works I look after the kids - 5y9m & 2y7m, I do the basic day to day cleaning & maintenance of the house, I cook 90% of the meals, I do most of the laundry and vacuum downstairs every day, BUT the bigger stuff, like garden maintenance, vacuuming the stairs, the deeper “full house” types of cleans, if the kids are home then he does the lions share of chores and I take care of the kids. We’re still splitting the work, raising a family is hard! 
Cut down the plates, bowls, utensils, glasses to 1 set per person. Buy paper plates. Do the dishes 1 time per day. Sort out the clothes the kids wear and donate what’s been grown out of. Start a 15 minute cleaning ritual every day where everyone in the house picks stuff up or cleans something. You can actually get quite a bit done in 15 minutes lol
The “I” makes me feel like you are taking full responsibility when it should be a family effort. If he isn’t helping he should be
So much judgment and so many assumptions on this post. “I worked full time, had a hundred children, and always kept everything spotless!” Bully for you! You win no prizes. This isn’t a competition. “Hire a maid!” Are you privy to their financial details?
You’re not doing anything wrong. A house doesn’t have to be spotless to be a happy home. If you guys are happy that’s allnthat matters. One day when you’re old and thinking back you wont remember how spic and span the house was, you’ll remember the laughs and games and all the other things that cause your house to be messy right now…
If both of y’all are doing full time he needs to pull his weight in chores also.
It’s not ok to expect you to work, do all the chores, and take care of the kid all by yourself
If he wants that tell him you’ll quit your job and become a housewife and he can pick up another job to support y’all if he doesn’t want to help with the chores and the baby too¯_(ツ)_/¯
It’s absolutely unok to expect your partner to do 87% of the work while you only do 13% of it
Y’all gotta actually do a 50/50
I’m laying this out for my partner right now because I absolutely refuse to be with someone who wants me to do everything as if he’s a helpless baby who can’t do chores or help with the kids that he wants in the first place. As I don’t want any but I wouldn’t mind having one with him upon getting married.
And it’s gonna be along the lines of,
If one has more hours of working then they get less chores on those days
Unless it’s a situation where one does 8 hours of manual labor and one does 10 hours of desk work.
The one doing desk work is still tired after a long day but not nearly as much as one doing manual labor therefore the one doing manual labor will do the easier chores that take little time to do and go to sleep and the other one can do the longer ones honestly.
It’s absolutely disgusts me how many "dad’s " and “husband’s” get away with working while their wife works too and then come home and not help with his kids and not help his wife with the house that he lives in too. Disgusting. Pure Laziness. If you have kids with someone they better put in the work with them just as much as you do. And if you live with them/marry them they better pull their weight in chores too because that is an absolutely not on my part
Now if they’re sick or need a day to just chill and do chores later that’s completely fine, we all have our days and we all need some time to ourselves to just chill sometimes. And if ones not feeling well and the other will do their part of the chores until they get better that’s what I want so that when either are sick the other will step up and do a bit more
If both are sick then they can ride it out or rest together
It’s not only gonna be equal, it’ll be equitable
If I make more money I pay more towards the bills than my counterpart
If they make more money they would pay more towards bills
I absolutely refuse to marry someone and be their maid
They will be doing everything that I do
If I work and they don’t they can take care of the house but I’ll still try to help where I can
If they work I’ll take care of the house and they’ll help out where they can
I will absolutely divorce someone over this. I don’t care how much I love them. I will not be someones maid and not their partner in life
Hire a cleaner once every two weeks. So you still have family time.
BULLSHIT!! I had 2 kids under 3 worked 12 hours a day went home ate dinner with them put to bed went back cleaned offices 4 hours !! My house was very clean I was a single mom & every thing was washed & ironed!! Everything had a place !! Stop crying do your job!! Called life !!
-meal prep (there are great videos on YT that can show you how)
- give the 6 yr old some chores (my 5 yr old can help straighten up and does a decent job at folding clothes)
-make your husband help!! You are both working full time, so he can help clean and cook too) - get paper plates, cups, etc
- make a list. Do one room a day after work.
- try to wash one load a day of clothes so it doesn’t get overwhelming .
Hope this helps!
You are both working full time. It’s not only your job to take care of everything else. Get a cleaner/housekeeper and also get your husband to do household chores as well. Everything isn’t up to you to take care of.
I use to work 50+hrs a week 6am-5pm with a 2 yr old. It would be 10pm before I got to bed most nights only because I wash dishes as soon as we get done eating and again right before bed along with picking up toys and stuff that was brought out. Monday-friday I did this every night (my ex was absolutely no help) on Saturdays I cleaned the house, swept, mopped, dust, bathrooms, caught up all the laundry, etc. I also grocery shopped and did my weekly buying on Saturday. This left Saturday night for family night, going out to eat, movies, or just me and my “husband” go out. Sunday was left open to do whatever I wanted to do from the time I got up until I went to bed whether it be watching LMN, 4-wheeler riding, visiting family, whatever 
I usually put something in the crockpot on Sundays so it wasn’t alot to clean up. If I had plans for the whole weekend I would clean Friday night so I could come home to a clean house on Sunday. It was my routine for about 3 years and it worked.
In pre-marital counseling, I was told that a housekeeper, even just every two weeks, would save a marriage. It’s true. I also started doing a nightly reset no matter how tired I am and it’s made a HUGE difference. Don’t go to bed with dishes in the sink and put everything in it’s place every single night. If it gets out of control, it’s so hard to get it back together.
Your doing great! This is normal so dont stress, if you can afford it hire some help but you are doing nothing wrong, there just is not enough hours in the day working full time and kids😊
Spend 1 weekend a month to really deep clean your house. Then 1 or 2 nights a week, when you’re spending time with your husband after kids are sleep, yall can fold a load of clothes or wash dishes together.
I’ve been struggling with this as well as a single mother. The best advice I have for you is putting things away and cleaning as you go. Once you’re done with dinner, clean it up. Once your kid is done playing with their toys, teach them/ have them clean it up. That way the one day you have dedicated to cleaning up it won’t take so long and you’ll have plenary time to enjoy time with your family. I hope this helps:)
Same. But recently I have implemented Saturday morning cleaning. The 5 of us all have our areas that we tidy up before we start our weekend. And we don’t leave the house for anything until that tidy up is done! Laundry i wash and dry throughout the week, so every Saturday morning I spend an hour putting it all away. Husband does a deep clean of the kitchen and dining room. Kids tidy the living room, front hall, and toy room. Oldest child then vacuums, younger two kids slug things away that belong in other rooms.
Just know that the more you try to do alone, without help from your partner or support from him/her for household help, resentment will build. It can be a real thorn in the marriage when both people work and then one takes off to play while the other seems to be responsible for everything. Straighten that mess out now!
Sweetie you’re doing fine. Just breathe. Standards are set way to high for moms. You’re kids will grow and your house will get cleaner with time.
Your doing great do not sweat the small stuff…
Teeach your oldest to help he can vacuum help with the laundry help clean his room. My started when she was three doing her on laundry help doing dishes and vacuuming etc. she still does plus more she is 14 now
No.just do what you can.and get a cleaner in.
My husband and I had to make a chore list. I manage a restaurant which is a full time plus job and he’s an programmer analyst which also end up being full plus most weeks. We have a 4 year old and another one on the way and we literally cannot keep up on house work. On the weekends he’s usually helping his mom renovate her house and I’m with our kiddo and helping with her house too. So it’s not like we’re just not doing it. Together we sat down and made a daily list for both of us and then each day of the week we each also have specific stuff for that day. It’s helped tremendously…. As long as it’s our list is done before bed that’s all that matters. This way we each can do it when it works for us (he’s an early bird and I’m a night owl)
I always do the dishes after dinner, and pick up through out the day. I make sure to wipe things down in the morning and it stays pretty nice. Laundry is a different story
Let’s face it… A full time job AND kids( a full time in itself) is HARD! I completely understand where you are coming from. I’ve learned my home will never be spotless. We do the big things such as mopping laundry etc on the weekends. We do small things such as dishes sweeping vacuuming etc throughout the week and pretty much everyday. It sucks coming home to do that on top of taking care of the kids but it’s parenting. Just don’t be hard on yourself. We honestly use paper plates lol helps out so much!
Yeah this is totally out problem but we don’t stress over it. We have no closets in our house we realize that’s a huge problem. But outsourcing yardwork has been a game changer.
Umm its not only your job to cook, clean and take care of the kids. He lives there, he eats, and he helped make them. Tell him to help or get out.
It’s normal… Be more worried about spending time together and loving life. Not the perfect house
I use to get someone to come to the house and clean up the kitchen, bathroom and clean the laundry they also put washing on the line for me and also brought washing off the line and folded up my washing for me. Every Friday this awesome person who I paid 4 hours to clean house for us. Every Friday and come back from work to a clean tidy house it was worth it. She was a amazing cleaner and used products that I already had in the house. Due to the weather also I actually went to the laundromat after I had washed the clothes at home and got them my clothes dried in the dryer at the laundromat. It was worth the money and neat walking into a clean house at the end of week.
My babysitter take care of it for us I give her bonuses except the pot and pans she leaves for us
That’s about the norm. Best thing is to start training the kids to help clean and keep their stuff picked up when they are young so they keep doing it as they get older.
Hire a maid! I worked for 2 working Dentist and did house cleaning with laundry and even took the dog walking!
If you have extra money, hire someone to do the housework.
get a nanny watch kids clean
Cook double and freeze meals to thaw and bake another meal. Order groceries delivered. Get a housekeeper 3 hrs a week. A good one can get a lot done. I do all my floors one day and another day dust laundry ECT.
1)Everyday I wash and dry one load of laundry … most days fold but I can’t say there hasn’t been a few baskets waiting to be folded
2)we use mostly all plastic and glass dishes but I always just put the items in the sink and load it at the end of the night otherwise I’ll load it a million times
3) less toys , less things =less pick up
4)we cut back to a bath every other night unless they really need a bath
5)no matter what I always make sure my kids are clean, dishes are loaded and running every night and my living room is picked up. I have to have a clean start to each day or it’s a disaster
6) also my youngest is a 5-6 am riser and so I always get up no later then 5:30 but if she wakes up before that I dash for the shower and in the morning before we leave at 7:30 is when I do a lot of my house work
7) you can only do so much and can’t stress to much. You are doing a wonderful job 
Is he helping you keep up? My husband helps me. We both work full time and if it wasn’t for us both pitching in. We would be backed up. He does what he can on his days off and I do what I can on mine.
Are you happy? Is your family healthy & happy? If your answer is yes…let it go. Live your lifes to the fullest & enjoy 
I start laundry in the morning throw it in the dryer before I leave and put it away at night I usually do dishes in the morning not everyday just when they start to pile up lol don’t stress about you’ll have plenty of time to clean when the kids aren’t so little anymore
you are NOT a maid - is your husband hands broken ?
Make your husband help! If you cook he needs to do dishes RIGHT AFTER dinner. If you do laundry he can clean the bathrooms. You need to equalize the chores and he needs to give you a day where he does everything, moms never get days off dads always get them off.
You both work, you both should be doing housework. You can’t be responsible for it all. My husband works A LOT in the heat, he still comes home and does his chores, granted they aren’t much but he does them and it helps! He has certain chores, when he has time off he has additional stuff he does. Me and the kids do most of it.
Seek help for one day a week. Let some things go. I’m on my 12th child at 66 years old. Ask for a friend, family or hired help occasionally. Do not sweat the small stuff. My oldest is 49 and he does not remember dirty things BUT he does remember camping trip walks ballgames ect. I’ve learned as I go. Ask.
You just described my life in a nutshell. Dont fret, you’re not alone.
You might have too much stuff. Maybe look into donating unwanted/excess items to make cleaning easier.
This is a struggle for me. I am aware of this. I hired a cleaning lady. Cost me a $100 for bi-weekly cleanings. She cleans kitchen and bathrooms and mops whatever floors she can. We are responsible for our own rooms and team work on the livingroom. It is freeing to have that pressure off but I’ll admit there is like a 60 min scramble prior to her arrival that I got to zoom around and pick shit up.
Live your life, Girlfriend! This time with your family is the best time of your life! The rest is just fluff! 
Best thing I find that works for me is take care of it as soon as your done eating wash dishes… pick things up as soon as they get dropped wash a load a day make sure no matter what beds are done as soon as your off them! It all just takes a few minutes… letting it pile up takes hours and days turn into months that turn into frustration that makes you feel like it can’t be done!!! Trust me my mind always tells me not to do it but when I take those few minutes to take care of it I don’t regret it!
Priorities and plan and stick to it once housework gets put of control it’s hard to catch up…get up an hour earlier maybe to give yourself more time
So… I am currently freaking out bc we are renovating ours and there is stuff EVERYWHERE our upstairs is being ripped up and redone so even with a storage unit our downstairs is cluttered with items… Getting all our crap moved around has put me behind on everyday chores as a whole, and did I mention Im having a baby in 3 weeks?
My plan is to hire someone to do a deep clean bi-weekly after the construction and relax my personal expectations. My husband is not as neat as i am, and my teenagers arent either… My house is not dirty but its not the kind of clean I like. I have decided that spending quality time with them is more important than being stressed and pissed and busy keeping it up to spec.
Make him help it’s his responsibility as well
Have the kiddo help. Our 2 yr old will even pitch in. I think everyone struggles a little in this area at times. My grandma always told me a spotless house isn’t a happy house. He theory on this was you could spend all your time making the home spotless or you can enjoy the little ones. Im trying to encourage my kids to put something away if they walk past and it’s not where it should be. Spend 20 min a day cleaning as a family. Also we focus on the main rooms (living room, kitchen, bathroom) and about once a month do the others.
Girl, same! You are definitely NOT alone. It’s a lot of pressure being a full time working mommy.
Make a Todo list and ask your hubby to pick 3 things he will do like dishes, laundry trash etc then you pick 3 do those 3 things daily then whatever is left do Saturday morning b4 anything else
Housekeeper! Problem solved