Take 5 minutes and do dishes. He can do the same with toys with ur son and make it a race. Who’s faster picker upper. Use that 1 hour with your husband and get things done. I personally but paper plates and cups so I don’t always have dishes in the sink. And laundry… 630 am.
Enjoy your kid’s now. Don’t worry so much about housework. One day your kid’s will be grown and will have a place of their own. You don’t want to live with regret one day.
Use Playtime, play a game who can pack away all the toys the quickest? If hubby baths you kid you wash the dishes or vice versus, commit to doing a load of washing before bed, maybe not all of it but at least one load, before you eat shove a load in the washer and before you go to bed put it out, it’s a shuffle but worth it. Otherwise your weekend is spent cleaning.
Get a cleaner for couple of hours a week & enjoy your kiddos
We struggle with the same things and we only have 1 kid. This is the schedule we try to go by.
Sunday - Meal Prep
Monday - Dishes/Laundry
Tuesday - Bathroom
Wednesday - Bedrooms
Thursday - Dishes/Laundry
Friday - Bathroom
Saturday - nothing
Get a roomba and a Groupon for a cleaning service
Get a cleaner once a week or if you can afford it twice just to help being on top of everything. House work never ends!!
Pay someone to do it
I feel this, me n my boyfriend work separate shifts n have 2 boys. A 4 year old and a 3 month old. In the weekends it feels like all I ever do is clean but it sucks cause that’s the only time I get any time with my boyfriend. When I get home in the weekdays its usually eat dinner n then we start our nightly routine with some cuddling with my boys. We even cook on the weekends for the week cause we don’t have time during the week so I understand. I wish I could have help but there is none at all. So I get it!
It’s life unfortunately, I’d say put on some music and clean what you can. Have the kids dance around and help. Do 30min of priority cleaning. Then enjoy life with your babies.
Know that clean is good - messy is life and the time of life you are in. Kids grow up, life changes and you will have a tidy house soon enough. Don’t fight about mess. It isn’t worth it. Use something - put it away. Have less stuff for the kids to get out at any time.
I usually do it gradually during the week. I’m a single mum of 2. setting a load of washing is not hard, 5mins tops then dishes 10mins, if youre doing it in bits day by day, it will be much easier
Cancel the hour you spend with him to clean. . maybe he will start helping if ya interfer with nookie time.
Not alone at all!! We have 6 kids (8 months through 17yrs) and a disabled mother. We are very busy Mon- Fri so every Sat. We have a Cinderella party! I make a list of everything that needs to be cleaned and we clean until everything is done. Then we have family time, etc!
I will say this though… You seem to have your priorities straight!! I’ve always been told this “Make memories! One day your kids will grow and move out. Do you want them to remember a clean house or a present mom?” Keep up the good work mama!!
A home is not a home unless you don’t live in it . You said it was not dirty just stuff every where .Have the kids help pick up toys , do a load of laundry every day.You are not alone in this lots of us hardworking people are in the same boat.
Cut down weekend family visits to once a month and shitcan the softball every weekend. Let the kids wear their clothes a couple times before they are washed. Work as a team on weekends to get it done. Install a second cheapo washer/dryer for the lightweight clothes and get a DISHWASHER!
Honestly, that sounds “on top of things”. I don’t know what standard you’re trying to hold yourself to, but that’s about normal for the rest of us.
I think this is almost every family dynamic when it comes to men/women. In the rarity case you see men actually help around the house, but most often you see this sort of dynamic. Which honestly goes back a generation and society gender roles. Best way to handle it is open discussion and if you can afford it, hire help once a week. I mean why not? And if he’s not open to that idea, tell him to help because you’re not the only adult in the house. You’re not the maid. You’re not the help. You’re his partner and HE needs to step up, contribute to the house. It’s good to have hobbies, but if you’re doing everything. That’s not a partnership, it’s a roommate. So have a discussion, find a solution and know you’re not alone. Our generation is paving the way towards equal gender roles in regards to raising children, equality. You’re definitely not alone. A lot of families fight this argument and that’s because you look at our parents, grandparents. The women stayed home and raised children. The men worked. Now women are expected to work, raise, clean, cook, have educations. Meanwhile again, men just provide. We have to change that slowly.
Start a load of laundry every morning dry fold when you get off work. Have Everyone help pick up right before bed and do dishes as soon as you are done eating
Enjoy those babies. don’t stress, I learned that with a 10 year old and 5 month old.
Plan a chores list for you and your husband. If you get your chores done during the week then you get to have fun on the weekend.
Cleaning can wait. Kids grow up too soon. Spend quality time with your family before they are gone.
Make a weekly chore calendar! There’s printables online. Take all your weekly responsibilities and divide them by 7 (or 6 if you want a day to rest) and have you and your husband split those daily tasks. Of course some things have to be done nightly so you tackle dishes while he tackles the trash. You fold laundry and he puts it away. He sweeps and you mop. Teamwork!
Tell your husband to get off his high horse and start helping you when you cook to cook for you and the kid and just do your clothes and your child’s clothes when he asked why you’re not doing his say well I only have time to do mine in it or child
We do a 30 minute family clean up every evening. Where everyone works together every evening to clean for 30 mins doing different things. One doing dishes, one mopping, one sweeping, one folding laundry. Whatever it takes for 30 minutes each day after supper.
If you can hire a cleaner for twice a month. This was totally me until I did and I wish I had done it sooner!
I work on the …clean enough to be healthy…dirty enough to be happy… principal . Its amazing what can be done in 30 minutes daily
Do what has to be done to stay fed , clothed, clean & healthy.
The rest …it can wait for a day off
So what if you don’t hoover that day or there’s toys lying behind the sofa. You’re working long hours …make time to enjoy your kids and each other or whats the point
So does he not live there? Are these not his kids? Is this not any of his mess? If you both work full time then you should split the housework. On the weekends he does whatever and you stay home and clean, is that what you’re saying? Oh no that would not fly with me. Leave his stuff right where it’s at. Depending on their ages the kids need to be doing part also.
Honestly delegate a room with a door where you can just chuck shit through out the week then clean it up when you get the chance… lol… may not be a perfect solution but it helps declutter your home and if its still there in a mth chuck it out or donate it cos you didnt need it…
You dont.
You let go of the expectation that you have to keep it all done.
I worked full time with 2 kids this sounds just like us. Now I’m home with my baby it’s neater but nowhere near as neat as I wished. We hold ourselves to such high standards! I agree on them only being young once. I do make my 10&7 year olds clean their rooms once a week. My son takes out trash, my daughter helps clean the bathrooms they fold towels. Help put up their clothes… etc. and More if needed. I would teach your 6 year olds small chores. I tried to wash one load of clothes a day while working. A crockpot can be your best friend. We take one weekend afternoon to clean up the house. We all pitch in.
It’s normal. I have four kids. The weekends are when I catch up. I simply don’t do things on the weekend. And if I’m not doing things, neither is my husband (his choice). Laundry and dishes never end. Toys never go away until they’re older. My advice is to either hire a housekeeper or lower your standards. Or tell your H if he has such a problem with it, he can sacrifice some softball time and help clean up. I’m assuming he’s the one griping by your post and you saying YOU can’t keep up. He can’t bitch if he doesn’t help.
When my 12 year old was small my house was immaculate I realized when she was about 9-10 years old I had missed out on a lot of fun things worried about the house. I refuse to do the same with my 7th month old. Now I just tidy up when I can and make sure no dirty dishes or foods sitting around. Some days I look around and get frustrated but I go play with the baby instead of stress over the house. I also keep my floors clean because he plays in the floor alot.
Throw stuff out.
Yes, sounds mean but I did that. I stopped buying stuff we didn’t absolutely need. Lol Our clutter has started going down.
Pick 1 day a month & the priority is to clean. The oldest can help clean too. Putting toys away, wiping a table with a paper towel. Teach them to put their clothes away. Try to do as much as you can, ask you go. When I’d empty the dishwasher, I’d have my kids sit and ready to me or color. When done, coloring stuff went back on the shelf & we grabbed pj’s. It became a habit.
You can 100% pay someone & I have had someone come help do windows & some extra cleaning.
I try not to only bc I want my kids to learn. *That’s just my preferred method. Always do what works for you.
My husband works so he watches the baby at night while I give baths, & cook.
Hire a house cleaner. There ain’t no shame in it. You can hire them on a bi weekly basis if weekly is too costly. In between house cleanings, just take 10 min each day to do a certain task like wipe off counters or sweep. Your 6 year old son is ls also old enough to start doing easy chores as well. Hubby needs to get in on it too.
Get a housekeeper. Best.decision.ever!
Hire someone to clean house and do laundry.
You are not alone…get it good enough. It’s your home, let the weight off your shoulders, do your best. Love your family, everything else will fall into place
I’m a SAHM and there’s still shit all over the place all the time. For every item I put away, each child (4 of them) gets another item out! Oh well, every older adult who’s raised their children says I will miss this. So, don’t worry so much about it.
It takes two. I work 40-50 hours a week and my bf works 50-60 hours a week. Everyday he comes home takes out all the trashes. Does a load of laundry(wash,dry,fold,put away) waters the lawn, and then helps me clean the kitchen before bed. When I get home I run kids around to sporting activities, come home, do a load of laundry, start dinner. While dinner is going I start cleaning around the house. Dusting, sweeping(whole house hard wood floors), once dinner is done. I shower my 5 yr old and clean up bathroom while she showers. Bf helps clean kitchen
One of us does dishes and the other clean counters/table and sweeps when dishes are all done ome of us mops before bed.
You are doing everything right. Relax and enjoy. You placed the bar too high. The house is clean. Enjoy the clutter.
Same here, aslong as your house is tidy and the family is happy fed lower your standards a little and do what you can when you can, I have set days that I do things and sometimes it doesn’t always fit to plan but my family always has clean clothes, a tidy house (there is always more to do and I do it when I can) and food in the fridge/on the table. My husband does help out with some cooking and cleaning which is also quiet helpful
It’s just this stage. I know it’s hard but remember this won’t be forever. It sounds like you’re doing a great job. Maybe 10 minutes of that hour you and your husband can do it together and talk. Won’t feel like a chore and you’re both helping. It’ll be ok though momma!
And the 6 yr old needs to clean up his toys
The rule with toys is “if you can make the mess, you can clean it up”
I hired a maid…last thing we have time for is to spend a weekend off cleaning…blahhhhh!
This feels like someone got in my head and wrote it for me
This is my life also!
You are so not alone! Even in my household where I am a stay at home mom I find it difficult to keep the clutter down. Don’t beat yourself up!
You aren’t doing anything wrong. Some days the best house work I can do is feed my kids and make sure it doesn’t burn down
Honestly, make a chore chart. Daily/weekly/monthly - and WHO does them.
Ask kids get older they can help. And to be 100% honest my kids DO A LOT.
There’s 6 of us so dishes, laundry, garbage etc EVERYTHING always needs to be done.
Before husband can leave for softball he has to do his chores - it’s house too.
I hear you. What I do is I put a load of washing on the night before just before I go to bed. Get up 5-10 min earlier and hang it out before I leave for work. When I get home I bring it in and fold it up and put away straight away. I find it is the way to keep on rope of my laundry. I do this everyday. After a while it just becomes normal daily routine. Hope this helps. Good luck
My husband works during the day and I work at night. We do one task at a time. So like if I do the dishes before work he does the laundry. I have a 1 1/2 year old and a 6 year old. I have my 6 year old do chores. (He gets allowance) he cleans his room, let’s the dogs out, loads the dishwasher, picked up his clothes, pick up his toys and helps us pick up after the 1 1/2 year old. Just know that sometimes a little mess house means a lived in house. Also maybe do a chore chart. So like this Monday and Thursday is laundry day. Do dishes after ever meal or if you have a dishwasher load them as you get done using them and at the end of the day wash them all together.
Get a housekeeper! Even every other werk would be great!!!
Chore list every day. And go through the toys and really pare down what you have as well as implement some storage in the areas the kids play in. Teach them to pick up every time. And do a daily chore chart and you both work it. It’s sucks but it might help you feel less overwhelmed if there’s less clutter around.
My husband works 50-60 hours a week and I’m usually around 50. I started paying a housekeeper to come every 2 weeks. Best decision ever.
I gave up on keeping my house in show-home state about 4 or 5 kids ago (I have 7, not all living at home now:sweat_smile:) inspections are my 3 monthly spring clean. Do you have the option to get a cleaner for a few hours a week or fortnight to help you keep things from totally blowing out of control life is to short to be a slave to house work
The 6 year old can do small chores. Especially picking up toys.
This is my life. But u should both be splitting the chores since you both work
At least your off the weekends lol. I know how you feel. I’m in the same situation. I work 8am to 11pm 3-4 days a week then 9am-4pm 2-3 days a week. And I spend my days off doing nothing but cleaning. The struggle is real
Oh honey. You are definitely 100% not alone.
I have no advice, as I am currently in the same boat as you, but hugs and love to you momma.
I think we all feel this way!
Same! But I say enjoy those babies and your family time! It will all be different soon enough!
When you find the secret PLEASE let me know! I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old
The time it took you to post this… you could have swept the kitchen🤷🏼♀️. I was a full time working single mom and still found a way to keep my house clean and my kids well fed. You just have to “make time”
There is only 24 hours in a day. Find your balance, you don’t have to do everything in one day everyday, do the tasks that are most important for you and your family spread them out if you can and get everyone involved in the have to daily things. Everything will fall into place.
Netflix has a couple organization shows, watch them and get tips on different things around the house that will help with clean up time. Please, if you are listening to other people and setting your standards by them, STOP, you have two separate lives and those other people aren’t walking in your shoes, do what is right to keep your family healthy and happy, and you keep your sanity. If keeping your sanity means having a load of clothes in your bathroom that needs to be washed, and a cup drying in your sink because it can’t go in the dishwasher, or the kids just had a snack and got crumbs on the floor after you mopped, so be it, it is life.
Give yourself a freaking break! It’s hard! Let it go Louie! Everything will be ok, trust you’re doing the y’all can ! Enjoy the kids! Let it go!!!
Ugh… I feel this in my soul… your children are loved…husband is loved… your bills are paid… you have food for your family… you’re doing great!! Your house is lived in… that is a house of love…
Get your kid to do chores
Look up Fly lady Kat on YouTube.
You are so not alone. Someone brought this up yesterday. “Make peace with the mess.” Trust me. I have 6. I work FT. Today I was supposed to organize my room but instead I got up and my husband and I went to the playground with my bunch. Some basketball with the older ones. I came home with them fed them lunch did some dishes. I took a nap when my littles fell asleep. I might do a wash tonight. Might haha.Once you learn to let it go the anxious feelings that lead to arguments will dissipate. I swear. Just enjoy your precious kids
Get urselves a housekeeper !!! both working fulltime, shouldn’t be too hard , even just a couple of hours a week would be a big help
I had this struggle, so I purged my house of excess. My kids toys were cut down to one cube each, they had 10 outfits, I purged mine and hubbies closets, got rid of excess dishes. Everyone was happier and it took a lot less time to clean
Get a maid once a week.
Im a single mum of 5 , work full time my house is not dirty like ur but shit everywhere. I do most when they are in bed asleep. I have cut down on the toys they play with and have given the kids jobs to do in reward they get spends at weekends. This helps a little xx
3 able bodied ppl in the home. Split the chores. Clean up after yourselves as y’all go. Clean one to two rooms a day. Deep clean one room a day, on it’s scheduled day once a month, every other month, whatever you choose. I save smaller rooms/less work for weekends.
Weekends are 48 hrs - he isn’t playing softball for 48 hrs and y’all aren’t visiting family for 48 hrs. Taking care of the house isn’t paused on weekends. And if y’all are visiting family for 48 hrs when you feel your house isn’t where you want it - prioritize.
That is the domestic life these days lol. My life to a T.
OMG Sameeeeeeee!!! I feel like nothing I do is enough lol. My hubby, 3 kids and 2 bonus kids and now a 9 week old puppy. When yall figure it out please LMK!
Hire a cleaner to come in once a week
Keep on things that you need to keep clean, like bathroom toilet, laundry and wiping up dirty stuff. I use paper plates as much as possible so there isn’t so many dishes to wash. Start giving your 6 year old little chores. Since you have a significant other, split up the responsibility. Don’t have to tackle it all at once. There will be a mess the next day. Pick and choose your battles. Coming from a single mom working a full time job. No one is perfect.
Time to hire a housekeeper to come in a few times a week.
Split the chores! You cook- he needs to be cleaning or switch. Both tackle parts of the bedtime routine. Each person has something to clean each night. Spend 1/2 day on the weekends doing catch up (laundry/bathrooms/vacuum and mop). If he won’t help, have him pay for a weekly maid, his choice. What’s not his choice- helping with his children in the am/pm.
Honey l get this… I have always been a fulltime working shift work mum… I also had the most judmental in laws from hell. This is what l would do if you can afford it. EMPLOY A HOUSE CLEANER for two or three hours a week. I did it for five years when l had young babies and it saved my sanity… She did the hard things for me, clesned my bathroom, toilets, dusted for me and mopped my floors… On a Friday before the weekend started. It transformed my life and gave me precious times with my babies. It wasnt that expensive and yes l still had to clean etc but her 3 hours worth of uninterrupted cleaning made up 10 hrs for me… Please think about it… Being a super mum all the time absolutley sux. I was a happier mum.
Every thing needs a place…
Organization is key…
And its literally non stop and never ending. Just gotta do it.
Come home and cook, while you’re doing that he puts laundry in the wash. After dinner he does dishes while you switch laundry and put kids to bed. Then yall spend time together, pickup together and head to bed together. On the weekends do the quick but dirty chores (toilets, mop/sweep) trash gets done every day or every other day by one of you. Also make the kids help with laundry and picking up.
Hire some help. 100% worth it!!
My biggest advice for you, is to stop worrying about it. How long does it take your house to go back to exactly the same way after you cleaned it spotless? If it’s not “dirty”, it’ll be okay, it’s just clutter. They’ve painted this picture perfect household vision for all of us, we’re supposed to work full time jobs, homeschool our kids, have them in every sport, don’t forget the learning activities, and keep the house spotless. It’s not possible to keep your house clean all the time, you LIVE there. The mess is just proof of a happy healthy loving family residing within. Don’t stress the mess. Don’t give up precious time with your husband and baby stressing over it, don’t waste even more time arguing about it. In 10 years, you won’t remember how the house looked, you’ll only remember the memories made. Clean up as you can, but don’t stress it. It’s not hurting anything.
Sounds like your keeping up just fine
To me
I’m always cleaning
Doing house chores
Granted I would like to work my time will come
But even so
Our house always is slightly messy
It would be worse if I did nothing
If both work it sure be half n half homework
My husband and I both work 10 hour days. I get up at 3:40 to work out and leave the house by 6:15am. I try to do my house work in the mornings. It’s easier for me.
Sweety you don’t have to be super mom wife ECT. I was just having a fit and started crying this morning because my house looked horrible and both my husband and I work full time through. The week. Be fair to yourself. It’s a lot to do all on your own. I ask my husband when it feels like all of this is overwhelming to hep because sometimes it just is and I’m too tired.
Hire a housekeeper a few hours a week.
I am a single mom. I have a three year old and a six year old son. I have them 90% of the time. I work full time and I go to school full time. We are always busy after work and on the weekends but I still find time to make it work. It’s all about being organized and prioritizing. Just keep working on it and eventually you just get into a routine. The six year old can help too.
I wldnt stress too much over it. As long as the family is happy that all that shld matter. Like u sed its not like its dirty, or food is left layn about etc. Just accept that you guys live a busy busy life and house hold chores are at the bottom of the list, its not a priority. U will b fine. But if its going to cause too much arguing then maby have a word to hubby that ya both do abit of cleaning maby in the evening. Put a load of washn on at night and hang out in the a.m while kids haven breaky. Clean b4 going to bed. Maby its just options. Hope u find a way.
You’re not doing anything wrong !!! It’s life ! Real life !! If you or he were a stay at home parent there would be more time but realistically you’re in the normal “range” … Don’t stress !!
A home is exactly that, a home. Its loud, messy and lived in. As long as its not “dirty” its normal. If someone keeps their home spotless 24/7 with kids i say their kids probably dont get to play much or their kids are little angels mine is not. My house is always messy but i have a 3yo and a 2 month old. It happens. I feel you momma!
Welcome to Mommy’s world…enjoy the children and don’t fuss over the mess…that’s what children do when there little…
Momma, so many of us struggle with the same thing. Your kiddos aren’t gonna remember the dishes or laundry piles, they’re gonna remember you putting them first after a long hard day of work. All the chores will still be there. And it’s stressful knowing all that mess needs cleaned up but be thankful for the good stuff. Dedicate an extra 15 minutes in the morning and evening to knock out one thing, have hubby do one thing. You guys will get there
You are not doing anything wrong!!! You are enjoying life the dishes will wait kids are only young for a blink of an eye. In 13, 14 years You will have all the time in the world and you will wish this te back.
Get rid of half your stuff. Then get rid of half of what’s left. It’s amazing to me how much more my kids actually play with the toys they have when they only have a few vs. Just pulling them all out, making a huge mess and not actually playing with anything. It’s the same with clothes, pay attention to the ones that are worn the most and get rid of the unnecessary extras. It’s a constant process though, like I’ve been noticing my kids just pulling stuff out again and me having to constantly pick stuff up that’s not even being played with so i need to go through and fill a bag for donation again