I want to have one more baby, but my boyfriend said he doesn’t want anymore. Advice. My boyfriend and I welcomed our son on July 2, 2020, and he’s been saying since he was born, he wants to get fixed and doesn’t want any more kids. He and I have talked about having two kids together, but I’m not sure why he changed his mind. Any advice on how I can bring this up to him?
37 Likes
Why pressure him into having more kids if he doesn’t want them? Respect that he doesn’t want more.
6 Likes
Talk about Marriage before more kids , get him to commit
5 Likes
Give him space and time you just had a baby focus on the one you ha e first he might change his mind he might not
2 Likes
Enjoy this time, its new to the both of you. Your baby is still a newborn.
2 Likes
Girl you are not even married yet 
1 Like
Why not get married? It doesn’t sound like he is committed to you and his son.
1 Like
Sometimes people think they know what they want but until they experience it themselves they don’t always realize what it means. He may not enjoy the newborn stage and doesn’t want to go through with it again. Or maybe he’s just realized he really only wants one kid. Try having him explain to you his thoughts without you trying to explain away his issues.
2 Likes
These arw thinf discussed beforehand
I would give him time. You literally just had one
6 Likes
I would try to give him some time. I mean you just had a baby. But if he doesn’t want anymore children you have to respect that just like he would have to do the same if you didn’t want any more. Maybe it’s more stressful having a child for him than he thought. Give him time to adjust and he may end up changing his mind. Pressuring him after just having a baby is probably what’s making him say no more.
3 Likes
It’s been 2 months! I’m sure most people feel like NO WAY after a couple months of a crying newborn lol. Give it some time.
If he’s actually talking about getting snipped, sit him down and tell him you’d like to maybe talk about another child in the future.
6 Likes
I don’t know if people on this page know that it’s okay if females don’t want to get married 
you don’t have to get married to have kids like…
7 Likes
It’s only been two months. Give it some time, maybe he will change his mind. In the end you can’t force him to have another baby.
3 Likes
You just had a baby, you shouldn’t be having sex much less wanting another baby right now
10 Likes
Some people realize they just don’t want anymore kids after their first so I wouldn’t pressure him. I didn’t go through that “my child is the best thing ever” stage after my first son was born, I fell in love with him later but I hated the first year. My second child was an oops 5 years after my first was born 
I love both of my kids but some people are just one and done 
2 Likes
You don’t have to be married to have kids. Sit down with him and just ask him (nicely 
) what made him change his mind about having another child. Your baby is 2 months old, it can be eye opening to first time parents. Ask him if would be willing to wait to get fixed so y’all can wait until the baby is older before adding another child. Having babies so close together can be frightening to some parents. He may just want to wait. But have a serious conversation with him and listen to what he says. Also explain your thoughts on another child.
1 Like
I would just wait until your baby is older then discuss it again (unless he plans on getting fixed in the near future then as a couple you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about it). He may decide later on that he wouldn’t mind having more. The newborn phase can be hard and probably not the best time to decide whether you want more or not.
I would not bring another child in to this world today.and also u said u arent married
3 Likes
You still have a newborn. I don’t think this is the time to approach this
5 Likes
Give him time, and give yourself time. It’s been two months, it’s okay to spread it out a little more. Even if he gets a vasectomy, it’s reversible.
Why dont you wait a little longer than two months before taking about having more kids lol
5 Likes
you JUST had a baby , let him adjust to being a dad. Its tiring , stressful and all new. I would not hound him about this now at all , people can change their minds later on. My husband wanted 1 , he was dead set on no more and we now have 4 and he would even have more…give him time to adjust.
I mean, maybe you’re scaring him? Me personally, I wouldn’t be thinking or talking about another child when I just had one two months ago. Give it a year or so. If his answer is still no, respect that. But you have your right to more children as well to find someone else that does. It’s about compromise but with the way this world is if a man tells me he doesn’t want children I won’t make him. Never know someone’s true intentions or how they do with too much stress.
8 Likes
You literally just had a baby … after my son was born I wanted to get fixed 
the no sleep, the no time to myself, give him a chance for things to become normal, enjoy that baby first and enjoy being a family before you jump into having more…
1 Like
You can always try and come up with a compromise. My SO wants to get fixed, and I told him I support his decision, but asked if he would be willing to freeze some sperm, or consider adoption for the future if we decide we want more kids, and he was totally willing to do it! Sometimes you just need to take the pressure off, so they dont feel like youre trying to force decisions on them, or like youre wanting to have another one immediately. We have a 2 year old and our second baby is due literally any day, and we both agreed that if we do have anymore, we want it 5 or more years down the road
2 Likes
My husband an i said we wanted to try one more time after my most recent. But since he was an emergency csection it has scared my husband. He didnt say no more at all he just dosent knkw when anymore.
Ask him if he will hold off on the snip. Explain that maybe later y’all can try again once hes ready. Explain you arent going to rush it but in 3-5 years youd like another
Wait a while and bring it up zagain.
I’d would just enjoy the time with your sweet little one for now. He could be thinking you mean right now after just having a baby. Give some space for the time being and bring it up at a later date. Something could have happened and he just might not know how to tell you, it could be a lot on him and he just might not know how to say so because men are taught to keep their feeling inside, Which I hate. Just give some time he may be going through something. Me and my husband talked about have more children but after each kid was born we were like nope let’s adjust to this and bring things up later
1 Like
Well Of Course He’s Saying He’s Not Wanting Any More. You Practically Just Had One Yesterday…Give It Time…
7 Likes
Ok do NOT have a kid if other person says no! My x & I were married 20plus years did ivf he said NO to adoption,we adopted and got divorced when my baby was 3! Was great marriage until then…then u have to explain y dad wont b a dad…kids deserve better!(yes now divorced 2yrs later hes bn a dad)
After my first i was dead set id never have enough 18 months later i had my second now im pregnant with my third give him some time to adjust
I would wait until your baby is older and then bring up having another. It may be too soon for him or he may really just not want more kids. Sometimes people want multiple children until they have one and then they decide that one is enough. Either way, don’t pressure him or it will cause issues and negatively effect the relationship. If you are dead set on having more children and he is set on not having any more then you may have to consider that this relationship isn’t the right one for you.
Enjoy the time with your little one for now and then bring up the idea at a later date. Having a newborn is super overwhelming- which as mothers we know. My fiancé didn’t seem privy to more children but came around after our first was a year old. Now that our second is here (born June 2020), he wants to start trying for our 3rd and last already.
1 Like
It may be that parenthood is still new and exhausting. Try maybe discussing having them close in age so they can grow together and you can be done sooner which means not starting again after the fact 
that is what got my hubby on board Haha
I always say not to make any sort of permanent decision regarding future children for the first 12 months of your baby’s life. It’s a rough time on us as new parents.
I’d drop it and not bring it up again for a year. But ultimately if that’s his choice, you shouldn’t try to change it.
2 Likes
I think it’s too early to be talking about another one. Just give him time. The new baby is probably overwhelming him.
1 Like
You should have just gotten cleared to have sex like 2 weeks ago. Give it some time
1 Like
My husband didn’t want any more kids and got snipped its his body and his choice I love and support him even if it wasn’t what I wanted
Give him some time you just had a baby.
Get your first into school then start thinking about another, you need to get through toddler hood I reckon. Toddler hood can really test your relationship
Give it time… your LO still young
He might have changed his mind. Having a baby can do that to you. You current baby is itty bitty anyways. Just enjoy tiny baby for now and discuss potential siblings further down the road.
I’m in somewhat of a similar boat. My husband and I have two boys I have always said I wanted 3 kids and he never had objections ever (even while we were dating). Fast forward married two boys who I love and adore more than anything. My husband is an amazing father and dedicated family man which I am obsessed with by the way, but I still want one more & he doesn’t. Our kids are 8 & 5. I’m truly not done & we have had countless conversation and still are not in the same page. It is okay to not agree but I truly don’t feel his feelings of saying he doesn’t want anymore trump mine of wanting one more. We both have not had any type of surgery to prevent having kids and I guess we wait and see where we end up. I honestly feel like my feelings are as valid has his & will be heart broken if he goes ahead with getting snipped without informing me. We own a home big enough for another baby, we have good full time jobs with benefits. Regardless of the outcome I’ve come to terms with my husband is my husband forever but I’m still hopeful he will change his mind or we will get pregnant and figure it out.
Good luck mamma I know how difficult these feelings are to manage and you can do it. Just continue open communication and explain your feelings without anger or resentment as hard as that may be. Whatever is meant to be will be. 
If he doesn’t want anymore and you literally just had one, leave him alone for a while…
2 Likes
You have a baby under 1 and he’s not ready to double up on that. Talk to him in a year or two lol don’t put so much pressure on him so soon
2 Likes
My son is two and I JUST started considering having another child. At 2 months we were exhausted. Aimee the. We both started new careers, bought a house, and have realized juts how fast our little guy grew up. He may change his mind he may not but don’t rush it
1 Like
My husband wants our kids to be back to back like him & his brother are. He pretty much immediately wanted to try for another but I said no. He’s not that one that has to carry the baby for 9 months & give birth. I want to give my body time to heal, & also enjoy having just my one child before being overwhelmed with two. We compromised on trying another when our son turns 1. Now he is rethinking having another due to, well, a baby being a baby lol… we’ll see.
But yeah, give it time. Wait til maybe your kid is 1 and then bring it up again.
You just had a baby, you’re healing still, and your whole world as a couple has been completely changed. Give him some time. He may just be super stressed, or he changed his mind since having one and realized he doesn’t want more. Thats perfectly okay! HOWEVER if you are in a serious relationship, then the “snipped” decision is definitely something that should involve both of you, not just him. Give him time to get used to being a dad, focus on being a new mom, focus on your relationship. When he’s ready, talk about both of your reasons and see what he says. Listen to hear and not to talk. His feelings are just as valid as yours. If he still decides he’s done having babies, then that’s something you honestly have to respect 
And at that point, you decide if you’re okay being done or if you want to mutually move on and find someone else that is willing to give you what you want. And thats fair too. You got into the relationship with talks of having 2 kids. He has since changed his mind, and you still want that second baby. Both are completely valid thoughts. But if you can’t come to an agreement, it’s not fair to either of you to remain together because it will just result in resentment. Sometimes you have to walk away. So definitely give him some time to adjust, and wait till he’s ready to revisit it.
1 Like
I want another and my husband does not. I’m not willing to add extra strain in my relationship to push the idea when we already have a child that drives us both mad. I would love to add an additional baby but he has valid reasons for not wanting more children. At the end of the day he has a point and I can push and get pregnant and loose and risk my marriage or have a discussion, understand where he is coming from and go from there
He doesnt want anymore kids. You literally just had a baby so calm it down sister.
5 Likes
Was your pregnancy a healthy one? Was there any complications? Have you had any scares or hardships since your pregnancy and birth that would make him feel differently?
Maybe he is fearful of something that has nothing to do with you or a baby.
Maybe talking about another baby is taking away from what you currently have in front of you, which is a baby in your arms and a man standing by you and your baby loving you.
Give him some good old fashion attention, love that baby of yours and be present.
2 Likes
I would give him time I’m talking at least a year just so he can make up his mind properly don’t try and bring it up etc obviously if he decides in that time that that’s what he wants to do then that’s his decision and you should respect that be happy with the little bundle of joy you have together and if you can’t actually live with it then I think you should maybe leave but it’s just if it’s worth leaving the relationship for x
Give it some time. Not only did you just have a baby, but your body needs time to heal. I have twins (they’re 17 now) but when they were born… it was 2 times EVERYTHING. I mean it still is, but diapers, bottles, baths, clothes… everything. My suggestion would be to give it a year or two, then revisit the subject. In the mean time, you should be able to talk to him about anything, so simply ask him to hold off on the decision to have a vasectomy. Use birth control for now and revisit the subject when your little one is a bit older. He may change his mind. He also may not.
1 Like
You’ve just had one lol
2 Likes
My first husband wanted to get fixed after the birth of our second child . I was only 26 years old . He was seven years older . I told him I didn’t agree with that but I would support him . Never did I think we would divorce , but he left when the baby was almost two . I remarried and had the most beautiful baby girl who is now 23 years old . I am so glad I chose to NOT get my tubes tied !!
He doesn’t want more, don’t try to force him into it
4 Likes
my husband didnt want kids here i am pregnant with my 3rd
Raised 3 girls, they are adults now. I would not bring any more kids into this screwed up world.
3 Likes
You just had a baby … it gets overwhelming adjusting to new life and responsibilities… it puts stress on new dads too… give him time to adjust… may be then you can bring up the topic…
1 Like
He doesn’t want to get married after having one kid, and you’re surprised he doesn’t want more kids with you??
Y’all need to stop worrying about how to get your men to give you more babies, and start worrying about finding a man who is so certain he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, that he’s willing to bet half his shit on it. Come on now. There’s a reason marriage exists. Try it tf out.
Concentrate on the baby you have before stressing over another one.
2 Likes
It’s been 2 months , it’s probably the loss of sleep. Not being able to eat. Shower … do literally anything because of a new born? Hes probably just exhausted. Give him 2 or 3 years
4 Likes
Maybe compromise and offer birthcontrol?
2 Likes
I would wait before having anymore at least a year, he could change his mind, but right now it’s to soon Bc u just had one one
1 Like
Wait a little hit before bringing it up again. You just had a baby and emotions are high. He’s probably scared and anxious. It is such a huge change to your relationship you need to give him some time to adjust. I’d say try talking about it when the baby is a year, if he still says no then drop it. DO NOT force him into having another baby. All that will cause is resentment.
1 Like
My partner said the same after our son was born… he 100% didnt want more… we had him in 2017 and only at the end of 2019 we decided to.go again… were expecting our baby girl at the end of the month 
…
My advice would be to leave it alone for awhile… hes only just become a daddy … hes probably scared shitless… let him adjust to how much his life has already changed. . You also need to give your body a break… relax…
You have plenty of time!!! X
1 Like
The baby is only 3 months old. Your freaking him out. At least wait until the baby is about six months and a bit more level before you spring that. Also was your pregnancy hard? Were you over emotional he might not want to deal with the hormones so soon. Hugs. Crazy girl slow down. If you already talked about it he knows. Trying to change his mind right now might backfire.
I’ve been with my hubby for 10 years this month (6 yrs of those married). When we started dating we said we didn’t want anymore- we each had a child from beforehand. Our son was a surprise and like the second he was born I wanted another( it’s okay to change your mind-we’re human and allowed to feel things). My husband has been constant in his decision that 3 kids is it for us. It’s hard- I love him and I love our kids. But when you’re in a relationship (married or not married) you have to choose to do things that benefit you, your partner and family. And ultimately it takes both of you to make that decision.
Not one person on this page knows your financial status, your relationship history with your boyfriend, and what your physical health is like. Asking us how to talk to him is ok, but you may want to consider counseling… it’s never a bad idea to better you and your relationship💓
1 Like
Give him time you just had the baby
1 Like
lol sooo not 100% the same. But close. My husband wanted a large family. After each of our kids were born… I said I didn’t want any more. Even after my first born. My husband wanted more though. Then by the time they were a year to two years old… I would want another one 
give him time. Right now everyone is exhausted and adjusting to having a newborn. Btw now we have 7 kids 
Give him time. I know I want another, but I had my rainbow June 2 2020 and right now I don’t want another at all. But if he sticks to it you shouldn’t force him. There’s no way around this conversation. We can’t convince him.
Um you just had a baby…
Your baby is only a couple months old.
Of course he doesnt want another one right now.
Quit trying to fast forward through life and enjoy the time you have with your baby now while hes still a baby.
1 Like
Boyfriend or Husband? Serious
Give him time. Its probably new to him and overwhelming. He might eventually come around and want another when your baby gets a little older.
Enjoy the one you got. He’s only tiny… Concentrate on him
First off he is your boy friend and not husband so in any event he may want to leave you because he has not commit. So you need to think about your feature as a single mother it will not be easy. For to long we have been putting the cart before the horse I can tell you if I knew what I know now thank God for Jesus.
Never force anyone to be a parent.
I couldn’t have just one kid. Imagine their kids having no cousins or aunt’s or uncles. But nevertheless, don’t force him to be a parent and appreciate the child you do have right now
My fiance said that too at first. We have a 4year old boy and in 12 days a newborn little girl. we are both done after she is born.
Think you need to respect each others choice…is it a deal breaker and did you discuss it before hand. If so, you clearly accepted it then, if not then maybe a rethink is in order
Omg you just had a baby. And wanting another so soon hes probably still tryna adapt to this one , just take the pressure off and enjoy your baby you have and when the time is right it will happen and he might change his mind.
1 Like
It could because it’s still early days as they grow you forget the sleepless nights etc . If he’s changed his mind. I’d give it time wait till baby’s a little older then discuss it.
2 Likes
I didnt want more kids after my first either. It was all just very overwhelming. I wouldn’t push too hard on the issue right now. He may be afraid you’re thinking of having another one right now. Assure him that you both need to be ready, but him talking about getting fixed is a problem because you aren’t ready to think about that yet either.
Like I said, I wasn’t up for more kids after my first. We waited what seems like forever to me…my 2 oldest are 2 and a half years apart. But then we had 4 more and none of them was more than 2 years after the last…things definitely change.
2 Likes
Skip having anymore with him. You both have to want this you can not force anymore. Maybe he isn’t committed anymore. Take another kid off the table figure out what’s really going on
1 Like
Also depends on the family background. If you agreed on 2 children together in the beginning. How many do either of you have from previous relationships? My current bf and I have 7 kids together. I have 3 and he has 4. We both agreed no more from the beginning.
My brother and his current wife have 1 together. That was her first and she wanted one more but my brother already had 2 from a previous relationship which gave him 3 total.
There are a few variable to consider, but I agree that you should just have an open, honest, calm conversation and just express to him how you feel.
It’s just too soon. Having a newborn can be overwhelming the first few months. Wait a while to bring it up again, if he says again that he wants to get fixed ask him to wait a few months and then think about it again. Good luck!
Your baby is very young. Maybe he’s experiencing baby-shock and it’s too soon. May your being pregnant was not the happy trip he hoped for. Give him some time.
He may be overwhelmed with a newborn right now. I remember after my first I never wanted another one. Fast forward a few years after the tiring baby years were over and I desperately wanted another one.
2 Likes
Give him time to adjust, and yourself to adjust. And watch how you word things when you do bring it up. I had a daughter June 2019 and a son July 2020 in the same situation.
Took 3!years for me and hubby to agree to trying again however our roles were reversed I was the one who was happy with one due in four weeks with number two
The worst time to talk about having another child is when you JUST had one and are still getting used to being a parent and dealing with the newborn stage. Let it go and revisit the idea when your baby is older
4 Likes
Right now it is overwhelming for him, I wouldn’t worry to much about it. Maybe bring it up again in a year or two.
Maybe because life is a shit show these days.
Respect his decision 
Then figure out if you see a future with him with that being the plan now. Ask yourself, do you want another baby more than staying with him? This really isn’t something you should try and change if he is already firm on it. I dont believe in pressuring, guilting or trying and force another baby on a man. So many women continue to push and push the idea onto their partner after they say they dont want more. Basically till they get what they want 
Reverse the roles and it’d be considered abuse.
I think u just bring it up and be open n honest about it. U guys have to compromise and if this is a deal breaker for either one of u the sooner the conversation the better.
2 Likes
Get married first and give him time.
6 Likes
You just had a baby give him some time lol
Omg you just had a baby let the guy breathe!
4 Likes
Sometimes after having one baby it’s enough for you. Personally I am one and done. I really don’t want to go down that road again