Your Boyfriend is part of the problem too. Put tour daughther first!!!
3 Likes
I’d just say “hey do you think daughters name can go swimming with you guys next time. I can give her money for food and drinks” they might not even realize
4 Likes
Def your boyfriend’s place to say something.
Oh my gosh I had to put up with that for my ex-husband my two kids would get jumped for Christmas his two kids will get expensive remote control cars stuff like that the last time I went to their house on Christmas we wasn’t going and they ended up his sister told him all week I was with her she bought all this good stuff for the kids so we make it a point to walk over there cuz it wasn’t very far we go in and what is it same old Avon crap for my two I thought that family was bad enough they’d go places my kids wouldn’t get asked to go I think that’s a sorry family that would do that to kids
Don’t force people to have her as then she may get mistreated and that would be worse.
Unfortunately nothing you can do to change it you either protect her from it by leaving the situation or you adapt to it and help her by spending one on one time with her and also help build up the relationship between her and your boyfriend then she will feel special too!
Not exactly the same thing but I am dealing with my 12year old son to try and accept his ex step dad only taking his biological child for access ( bio father never been in the picture for son)
And it is bloody heartbreaking but worse was the hurt from being let down by him not coming to his birthday dinner then storming out on his birthday party because my son had misdirected anger at him and was clearly struggling. However in all fairness he could tell he didn’t want to be there and was doing absolutely nothing but sitting on his mobile with his headphones in looking miserable so that upset my son as we thought he would be helping/doing fairy floss and being fun with the kids etc
It is just awful to watch and feel so helpless to my son but I will never force my ex to have anything to do with him I will just do my best to support my son as much as I can and try to help him know it isn’t his fault.
Stop letting your other kid go. My in laws will invite my husband to go on vacation with them and tell me they just assumed I wouldn’t want to go and then proceed to still not invite me. They tried doing the same with the kids and now none of them go.
My husband is not the biological father of our 2 oldest kids. Just the younger 2. His parents have never treated the older boys like they weren’t his /theirs. Neither has my husband. Im lucky, but if it had been any other way, I would’ve asked my husband to say something. If he didn’t, i would, and I’d expect him to 
have my back. If he didn’t, then I would not be with him.
Good luck.
2 Likes
He can tell them all the kids go or no kids. If he don’t then you speak up. It’s not fair for them to leave her out.
1 Like
As an adopted kid I was treated the same. My “cousins” were oft pointing out I wasn’t really related to them. I learned to let it go. You cannot force someone to be your friend or like your kid. She needs to make friends and accept that your BF’s family are rude aholes.
I would definitely be hurt for my child. & would probably say something myself… if bf hasn’t yet. They certainly aren’t obligated to do this but it’s just plain mean to leave her behind 
I wouldn’t do that.
3 Likes
I have a similar situation. I don’t think it’s intentional but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her. I’ve decided to try and take some time off work and spend some 1:1 time with her to compensate for that. I feel for you Momma. This is a tough situation.
1 Like
My mil only does things with my husband’s first son never our 2 sons . I have a daughter from a previous relationship qnd she has included her more than her blood grandchildren. She even got rid of her crib when my first son was born ( the first son wasn’t in it for a year or 2) and now has got rid of any toys so we don’t take them there. It really pissed me off but I got over it her loss.
Your boyfriend needs to talk to his family about it. I’m also wondering why he isn’t being told when his kids are leaving? Tell him if the issue is money, you guys will pay. I know the feeling 100%.
3 Likes
Could just be they don’t know if you’ll be okay with it and being at work they wouldn’t want to call and pester you? I think just sit down and talk to them, not everything needs to be an argument. Just say “hey miss 12 is feeling a little left out, perhaps the next time you guys come to take the other kids out could you invite her along? I’m happy to give you some money for her if you need”
5 Likes
He needs to speak up an tell them that they take all or none! They are a package deal now an she is a child with feelings too!
4 Likes
Your daughter isn’t their child. So they are under no obligation to take her with them. You don’t say what kind of relationship the kids have with each other. It’s possible they don’t want her tagging along. When our daughter divorced, her husband had a child with his 2nd wife. We never once considered taking his 2nd child with us. Our granddaughter didn’t get along with him.
6 Likes
Unfortunately, she’s not their grandkid/family. Most people are like that . My boyfriend’s family does the same thing when it comes to two of my children that aren’t their biological grandchildren. It sucks
5 Likes
Damn glad I don’t have a family like this ! Glad I wasn’t raised like this ! Shit I take all kids in my family periods. I would never hurt a child
She’s not their grandchild nor family n they’re not obligated to do things with her sad to say. Yes it’s hurtful but it’s life n she needs to understand that sometimes life isn’t fair. Just go do something fun with her when u got time
7 Likes
Start doing stuff with just her and you and maybe a friend of hers. When asked why just say the truth
3 Likes
It could be they don’t want to be responsible if anything was to happen to your daughter while she is out with them…also just do things with you and her , make plans just don’t include everyone
2 Likes
You’re creating a blended family unit and even if she isn’t biologically related she is still family. Especially if your partner is going to be taking on that father figure role. What happens if you and your partner have a child will your daughter still be left behind? Just try and have an open discussion first with your partner about what you want as a family and what his family are willing to accommodate. From there you can sort out something. Sometimes it is unfair and really sucks in blended families but at least try and have the conversation first and see where that goes. Your daughter might end up feeling hurt and you will have to find another way to help her with it
4 Likes
Tell him the situation and how it’s making you and your daughter feel. Communication is key. You need to talk to him so he can talk to his family and explain its either all or none, or that she needs to be included also.
And also, you need to make time with just her, yourself.
Not all the kids and him.
Have a mommy/daughter day at least twice a month or more.
2 Likes
My M.I.L was outright rude to my daughter. I wasn’t around, but my husband was there and put his mom in her place and let her know my daughter was his daughter and we don’t tell the kids, “no, you cannot have ice cream money because you are not my granddaughter.” My husband told her if you don’t have money for her than you don’t have money for my son either. For some reason your instance seems less malice. Maybe your daughter should speak up. Is she hiding when they come get the other kids? Maybe she is scared to speak out for herself. Have your husband step in and let them know all kids go or none. If there are too many for one car than they shouldn’t take any of your guy’s kids.
Woah…this is heartbreaking. I am so sorry. It should be all kids or no kids. Y’all are a family now and if they can’t see that then they don’t need to be taking the kids anywhere. Maybe they feel you would feel awkward or something idk. But have your SO talk to them? I know when my boyfriend started standing up for my daughter things started to change with his family but it was to late. She hates to be here when they are and asks to go to her dad’s. She cried ALOT and would ask me what was wrong with her and why they love her sisters more. Don’t let that happen!
7 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriends family about leaving my daughter out?
My daughter mentioned she’d love to come with u one day x
My friends with with her BF 7 years and sadly they still leave her out and she is 13 so , despite my friend having kids with him now still the same! Some just don’t want to open there hearts, or they may not want to get attached if you don’t work out, or it could just be they got enough kids they can’t handle anymore! I’d suggest you arranging some outtings put ya self out there a bit, suggest 3 times if they all get knocked back then tell your partner and he can then tell his family but good luck it’s not easy xx
I personally would do outings with ur daughter and when ur bf asks about coming with his kids I would say no as your kids get taken out by your family it’s not fair on her so I want her to have the same amount of time out doing things as your kids. And untill you confront your family about leaving my child out it’ll just be me and her doing things. Personally I don’t think its your job to talk to his family, that’s his, he chose to be with you knowing u have a child so he is her stepdad so if his family are leaving her out that is his responsibility to tell them
11 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriends family about leaving my daughter out?
They did just move in together. Those are things that have to be figured out.But the other kids are not hers. They are already involved in family dynamics. It would make things worse if she were to go up and tell her boyfriend she just moved in with that his kids are not allowed to go hang out with his family. Maybe The family is not comfortable with her yet. And does not feel comfortable taking her child as well. Maybe they all need to sit down and have a calm family talk. This is in very new situation. You can’t expect things to just fall into place right away
62 Likes
Been there,it doesn’t always help speaking up. Causes drama and having to ask someone to include your child isn’t ideal anyways. Atleast it wasn’t for me. If they aren’t inviting her it’s because they don’t wanted her to go. I don’t force relationships anymore with anyone.
5 Likes
Everyone is really harsh here. For one, does your daughter want to go with these people. Two, they might feel like they don’t know where the boundary is. Three, are they always spending their own money on the kids? So approuch them and say, “hey my daughter would love to join you if you’re comfortable. I can pitch in…”. Or ask to join them with her and put yourself out there until she is comfortable.
112 Likes
Geez! It’s all about common sense and they have to know how it must feel and how it looks. How would they like it if it was happening to the other kids smh I would choose my daughter and leave!
19 Likes
You and your partner and your kids, altogether, are a family.
So of course you’ll do things all together.
You can absolutely make it a point to do things solo with your child though and shouldn’t feel bad about not including them, and explain it to them that they do things solo with their grandparents…
As a grandparent myself I would not feel obligated to include my daughter’s partners’ child in any thing I took my granddaughter to do.
If they were married I would consider things differently.
(this sounds old school but you don’t know my daughter’s relationship history… I don’t get attached too easy… 
)
You don’t say how long you’ve been with your current partner…
Maybe it’s too soon to accept you as actual “family” but they are polite and accepting at common gatherings?
Additionally, perhaps a former partner of your partner “burned” them, somehow? So they hesitate to open up?
This is the case for me also as one of my daughter’s former partners was very disrespectful to me resulting in the police and child authorities being called on me maliciously.
So yeah I have trust issues
3 Likes
Your boyfriend should have addressed this with his family already. That’s a tough conversation. I would have him speak with them about including all of the kiddos or not doing the outings at all. It may even be that they aren’t certain you’re ok with her going, and once that’s cleared up there won’t be any issue. Hope all goes well and good luck with the convo!
56 Likes
If their taking all the kids maybe there’s no room for her. If you have four seats and your already taking four kids where does the fifth one go. Ask your daughter more info before jumping the gun or when your off offer to follow in your own car so you can see for yourself what’s going on. You should be able to pick up on their demener. If it was something sketchy I’m sure they wouldn’t be keeping her period.
4 Likes
My son’s father and I are no longer together. I’m engaged to a wonderful man with a great family. His mom, though not even related by marriage at this point in time, takes my son overnight whenever she can. She has picked him up and taken him to the zoo and recently, paid for all of us to go to the beach for a week. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I couldn’t imagine.
2 Likes
I had a similar experience when I would pick up my brother’s sons. They had 2 more brothers, but I didn’t pick them up because of cost and I didn’t have a relationship with them. I think your boyfriend should be an advocate for your daughter to be included, but it ultimately is up to his family. Maybe you should focus your efforts on building a relationship between his family and your daughter.
11 Likes
You need to take your daughter out an have just one on one an let him sit with his.kids. his kids have plenty outings so take your daughter for more one on one.so she doesn’t feel left out
14 Likes
It is 100000% your boyfriend’s responsibility to set his family straight!!!
If he won’t or acts like you’re making something out of nothing, then I’m sorry you just moved in with someone you should leave 
23 Likes
Tell your boyfriend it upsets you. If he doesn’t fix the issue immediately then he truly doesn’t care and honey you and your princess need to bounce. I would not allow that. Hard pass. Don’t let them treat your daughter that way. It will stick with her. My 9 year old went through this as a little girl and she STILL brings it up years later about how it bothered her or hurt her feelings. Don’t put your daughter through that. It makes her feel unloved and not as important
5 Likes
It’s okay to take your daughter out on weekends without his kids…or him. Explain that since she doesnt get to do as many things as they can, this is her time.
5 Likes
Seriously who does this. If I’m taking one kid I’m taking all of them. They are adults they should know better than to leave a 12 year old out. Shame on them and shame on the bf for not dealing with this. And he shouldn’t have to even be told he should of stood up for her immediately. Sorry but this would be a huge red flag to me. My opinion if you don’t like it keep scrolling.
391 Likes
Pause, his family randomly picks his kids up without him knowing ?? I don’t like THAT.
Secondly I’d feel like utter crap if I had to mention to his family that my kid feels left out and if she went that would be like a sympathy invite. They may not be COMFORTABLE taking a child that’s not blood related to an outing. Might be weird territory for them.
And honestly they aren’t obligated to take her anywhere. She isn’t their family…. Yet. She is HIS girlfriends kid who they don’t really know that well who just got moved into his home with her mom. That’s still weird for some people.
So be understanding on that front because taking a child that’s not yours, not immediate family is a liability.
You COULD say something passive to the one who takes them swimming or to the wave pool (assuming your kid swims well) “hey! Next time y’all are headed to the wave pool, would it be possible for her to go too? She has been wanting to go and enjoy an outing with the other kids … I’d totally make sure there was cash left here for her… if you are comfortable with that of course,”
51 Likes
I would just politely let them know its rude and disrespectful to always be taking the kids to do fun stuff but leaving one out. If you guys are supposed to be a family then his family needs to treat your child like family, if they can’t they don’t view you as family and you probably shouldn’t be with a man who let’s his family treat you and your daughter un fairly…
Speaking from experience not being judgmental
45 Likes
Been there before …Coming from a split family and having children previous to my current relationship… I had to make it very clear on the expectations of having all kids included in the very beginning! As long as the conversation stays calm on your end then there is no harm bringing it up in an appropriate setting. Communication is key! Especially with your daughter. If there is no obvious reasoning, mentioning to her that building the best relationships takes time and some people just aren’t aware they are excluding people. Good luck momma! 
12 Likes
Your boyfriend clearly needs to set boundaries with his family. He doesn’t even know his own kids are gone til your daughter text you and you text him? He should number one know where his kids are at all times. This is how kids go missing or get themselves in trouble…
Secondly again your boyfriend’s responsibility to set boundaries and that includes respect. If his family isn’t willing to treat your child the same then they have no business interfering with the family dynamic. Y’all moved in together which is a huge step in commitment. They should respect that. It your boyfriend is too cowardly to address his family. You do it and if it changes nothing then you need to get your daughter out of the situation.
26 Likes
They really don’t have to deal with your daughter honestly, It would be nice if they do, but they don’t have to.
22 Likes
I don’t have advice for what to do about the family, but if the behavior continues you and your bf should find a day when you’re both off work and take your daughter to do something special just you guys so she still gets to go do something fun with the people who truly appreciate her company
35 Likes
Be the grown up and address the issue (politely) via text, call or in person when she isn’t around. No need to make it a big deal, just tell them that it makes her sad that she is rarely ever included, if they can please include her maybe every other outting and you are more than happy to send money for her each time she goes.
It’s only fair, as long as she’s being treated as well as the others.
6 Likes
IF you’ve never been in this situation, it is SO easy to have an opinion. I would have the adult conversation with you, bf, and the family members. They may not know where they stand yet. I can tell you, it is hard. My husbands grandparents watched his (now our) niece and nephew. Grandma had NO desire for me to take niece and nephew when I took his (now our son). Had to have a heart to heart with his sister and say I feel bad leaving your kids and taking his kid. She had no idea. Conversation with his grandparents later and I just took them all. Good luck it is hard.
2 Likes
That’s really horrible. I would NEVER allow this. If you’re a family, you’re a family. Blood related or not. That’s going to really affect your daughter. You need to have words with your partner!
22 Likes
I don’t think its something you should address rather your bf. Its his family and so are you. Therefore he should bridge the gap
12 Likes
If I’m taking one kid, I’m taking all of them. If I can’t take them all then I guess none are going. That’s just sad and hurtful… That’s like giving one a cookie and not giving the others one. No idea how to talk to the family but I would for sure be doing it. Good luck.
10 Likes
Maybe they don’t realize that it’s ok to take her? Just a thought.
13 Likes
I’m a Grammy and I have 2 bonus grands, it took us all a while to get used to situations that came up, sometimes my bonus grands would be with their family and sometimes she would come with us, my advice would be to simply talk to the adults who are picking up the others. Grammy’s don’t know unless you tell them! But please do it face to face or a phone call and not text… miscommunication could happen and cause unnecessary drama! They are probably just doing what they’ve always done and don’t realize that she SHOULD be included! I still have a bonus grandson who goes with his mother’s side of the family when my grandson comes here… he’s more comfortable with them, granted he’s only 5 and hopefully that changes cause I love both my bonus grands like they are my own! I wouldn’t dream of leaving them out… new situations deserves to be talked about
8 Likes
It’s very sad she gets left out but if you guys have just started a life together maybe they are not Comfortable yet with taking her.
You need to talk to them and him and see what’s up
But In reality it’s not their responsibility to take your daughter you guys are not married
7 Likes
You came as a package deal, you did not spring a 12 year old on boyfriend…either it is all in or not at all…I am pretty sure I may be the minority in this, but your CHILD should not be expected to endure such behavior from adults…
6 Likes
There is no way I would just leave a kid out like that. That is just cruel
7 Likes
Just have her get ready when the other kids do and walk out with them. If there is an issue it will be brought up after that. Send money with her also just in case it wasn’t in their budget to include her.
7 Likes
I’d speak to the family that take them & ask if they can take her too & you’ll cover the cost?
7 Likes
Make your BF do it, if he won’t honestly you do dates on the weekends alone with your daughter when asked why only she gets to go answer honestly well she gets to have time and do fun things because you guys got to go do fun things during the week and she didn’t get to go so now it’s her turn
5 Likes
Have you addressed this with you boyfriend? Are your other children biologically his? His family might be excluding your daughter if she’s not their sons kid, which is petty as hell. If none of your kids are biologically his and they’re taking the others but not your daughter , then you need to communicate.
Honestly don’t force them to take her, she will feel worse because they will act like they don’t want her around and that hurts more
4 Likes
You just moved in with him they don’t know your kid or what you allow them to do It wouldn’t be right to keep them away from family cause of this on the days you can do something with your daughter just you and her go call it your mother daughter day at least once a week she will love it but also have to understand their not obligated to bring your daughter with them its nice to do but its their choice
6 Likes
Maybe they’re nervous to take responsibility for your kid at the water parks and such not really knowing her skill level w water ???
3 Likes
Everyone saying that the family doesn’t have to include your daughter is right, they don’t. But you and your bf made the choice to move in together, with your children. Those kids are looking at each other as siblings, since they are living together and growing together. Its not right to exclude one just because they aren’t blood and his family should respect that.
5 Likes
That’s messed up. I’d be mad. My older son isn’t biologically my fiance’s but his family has never left him out, he’s included in any vacation, cruise, event, etc. And they don’t make me pay his portion if it’s something they planned for the grandkids. My fiance and I pay ourselves, but the kids are often covered.
4 Likes
This regularly happens to our 6 year old, even after saying something and pointing out that he asks why he’s left out, it continues. I quit asking for a relationship and just spoil him extra when the others are off with their family members so he gets something special too.
2 Likes
Talk to the BF and have him talk to his family he needs to let them know that he accepts you and your daughter and that if they are taking his kids your daughter needs to be included because you are now all family no one gets left out and if they can’t do that then well no kid gets to go they all should be treated the same . My oldest is not my husbands and his family has never left her out since day one when I became family she became family that’s how it should be .
2 Likes
Next time she calls and tells you - Find out where they are - Leave work - Pick her up - and the 2 of you go to the same place and “meet them” when/if something is said, let them know she didn’t want to be home alone and likes getting out of the house too, so you decided that you both would join them today so her feelings weren’t hurt like normal
2 Likes
Definitely your boyfriend should let his family know and leave money with her or them when they go!
2 Likes
I don’t care who you are, any kiddo left behind ALONE, when all others are going somewhere fun, has to feel AWFUL.
The adults in this situation should be ashamed. And please don’t tell me they don’t know what is happening.
I’m gutted for your daughter. I hope you can figure something out so her heart isn’t getting consistently broken.
1 Like
I hope your bf will address this. Your poor babygirl i cant imagine how she feels…… they should be ashamed honestly id never do this to a child personally so maybe thats why i take such offense to it for you i just think theyre being wrong smh
1 Like
Your boyfriend should really say something to them.
4 Likes
I would just ask his family if they wouldn’t mind taking her sometimes too and that you’ll pay for her. They might just feel awkward about asking to bring her or something! She is old enough that they won’t have to like babysit her so I really don’t think they would mind, just bring it up!!
Fucked up that you have to say something if you ask me. Kids are innocent and don’t need to put up with adult bullshit and hang ups . Wish you well
2 Likes
My kids grandparents used to do the same so I stopped bringing my kids around. 6 months later and lots of arguments they finally got it through their heads that if they’re not treating my kids equal they just won’t see them🤷♀️
1 Like
I think boundary setting is first. You and your hubby need to knlw when they are going to be getting the kids ahead of time. Maybe if they know you want more communication, than they’ll have more time to coordinate bringing her also. Tell them you would like a heads up by morning the day of so you can plan accordingly. Then you have time to ask them if they mind taking your daughter along and if they need money for her. When chaos happens, chaos happens. If they don’t want to take her or cant take her then you’ll know why.
1 Like
At the end of the day you can’t control what other people do…I would hope your man and his family would accept your daughter and love her unconditionally because that would be the right thing. Unfortunately people are cold, vindictive, and exclusive of children sometimes and it breaks my heart, but the only thing you can do is what YOU can do. Let your daughter know how special she is and how loved she is by you, and my suggestion would be (whether they continue leaving her out or not) is setting aside a day maybe once a week or even once a month where you and her go out and do something special just the two of you 
I hope everything works out for you and your family
I have two adopted children and one bio, if any of my family treated any of my children unfairly ( like what’s happening with you) they would be out of my life so fast. You either love and treat all my children equally or you don’t get to be with any of them. If your BF is worth a damn he will agree, if he doesn’t he needs to be gone too. This kind of treatment is going to traumatize your daughter for life. It needs to stop.
I would definitely talk to your partner and decide how to best bring it up to his family. It may not be because they’re trying to single her out, they may just not want to overstep boundaries or try to push themselves on your daughter. My ex husband and I have 2 daughters (5/10). When he started dating his gf, after a while, she came and asked me if I would be ok if they took the girls over to her parents to swim or on outings. Gradually, they did more and more. Now her family is family. They take the girls places on their own, come to events, her mom even gave the girls their own rooms in her house for when they wanted to come over. Talk to them about it so everyone can feel comfortable and included. It may take some time but it’s worth it
It could just a matter of they not feeling comfortable taking her themselves or maybe think you don’t feel comfortable with that. I think maybe They are needing your approval for you to be ok they take them spur of moment. However since your bf doesn’t even know they are gone that’s another issue. I would want to know if someone grandparent or not was taking my daughter out. Communication is key here and perhaps all they really need is your ok. And yes your child will begin to resent his kids when it’s not even their fault. So if he doesn’t address it you should.
It’s a shame that people act like that.Its very disrespectful for them to leave her out because you guys are supposed to family DNA or not family is family and people don’t seem to understand what it means anymore.Ive delt with this and it’s so heart breaking when your children feel unwanted and unloved.Kids don’t deserve that by anyone and you should say something but your husband needs to have your back on this.Tell the family the truth bout how your daughter feel
I think it’s your bf’s place to as it’s his family and his kids. You need to sit down and discuss it with him and put your foot down. You both are joining your lives together and that means you need to treat his kids as your own and he needs to treat yours as his too. He should not allow one of his children to be left out.
1 Like
Have your boyfriend approach them and see what’s up. It may be they aren’t comfortable with her yet or it may even be that they don’t have the room in their car. I still think it sucks to leave her out though so definitely address it soon.
Also, spend time with her. Just the two of you. Your boyfriend should he somewhat understanding of that.
I’m going thru the same situation. It honestly breaks down your relationship. Always kids over spouse. I wouldn’t be rude to the kids however I would definitely say something to the parents. Least you can do is say how you feel about it and if they start shit then let their son deal with it. If it got worse I’d take my kid and do things alone. Even then tho it’s sad and it does break relationships. Why does people have to be so rude. Sorry your babygirl is going thru this. 
Oh she notices alright she just doesn’t have the heart to break it to you. You need to say something to his family, calmly & tell them how you feel about having your daughter excluded out from family outings. Its not safe for one thing. Secondly its not healthy, shes 12, almost a teenager, she definitely knows whats going on, how shes treated differently, how shes talked to differently, she sees it all. Deal with it now. Have the whole family sit down and talk to them about it. If not, dont allow contact with his family at all. Cut all ties. Let them know this mama dont play. If one child isnt being reated like the rest, they cant see any of them. Seriously they have to understand how you feel about this. This is affecting all of your children. His kids will see that your daughter is less than and may slowly start treating her badly too. Kids pick up wnat they see their families doing. Get it stopped now. You said youd even pay, will if they dont treat all kids equally, find yourself a sitter for the kids at your own home…they no longer going to your bf’s family until everyones treated fairly & qual!
If he won’t talk to his family and his family isn’t being accepting of your daughter then They all are prob not the right family for you. There are men out there wanting to love you and your daughter and they have families fully accepting and willing to do the same. I went thru this with my son when I was a single mom, now I am married with 3 kids and my husbands family treats my son the same as my other 2 children, in their eyes all of my children are their grandchildren, you would never be able to tell he is not biologically theirs because they treat him as such it was not an easy road it takes time and effort in realizing and having the strength to leave those relationships that don’t serve you and your daughter both. I will say a prayer this family comes to their senses but if not may god bless you with a family who sees no difference in blood.
I would try to get together more as an entire family unit. ALL KIDS and ALL ADULTS… setting this type of example may make them more apt to take y’all’s new blended family more serious. I don’t know your whole situation but I kind of get the feeling that y’all moved pretty fast in your relationship and maybe they just don’t know how to take it… And if y’all are serious which sounds like you are then maybe they need that to be presented in front of them. It’s up to all of the adults to lay the groundwork of how a blended family works… As common as blended families are in this day it still can be trivial grounds to walk on. Maybe try initiating an outing and inviting the grandparents along with ALL of the kids… Opening the invite to them may show them that you are comfortable with the other children as much as your own. Since you say they are respectful and nice to her there hasn’t really been any evidence of dislike towards your child so this would also open up the door for opportunity to see where they stand… Then and only then if a problem arises it can be addressed in the moment
Honestly y’all “just” moved into together and maybe they want to see if it lasts before they get attached to your child.
1 Like
I lived through almost the exact same thing. I’m sorry, but takes “drama” to fix it. You have to stand up for your daughter. I think you should talk to your bf and he should talk to his family. But if that doesn’t work, you talk to them. We, as a family, are on the other side of it now, but it took a while, and many heated discussions.
My stepdad & his family always made me feel included, I was never his “stepdaughter” I was his “daughter Makayla”… He paid for my first 3 years of college, bought me my first car, always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. His family was the same, I noticed a slight difference, but they always included me & tried to make me feel included. Reading this post, makes me sad & grateful to have a step family that loved me enough to include me without conflict, & a stepdad with a big enough heart to
Consider me his kid.
They probably aren’t sure if you’d be okay with it. considering y’all’s just moved in and are getting to another level and everything. Next time you see them and they come to get the kids or for any other reason, I’d let them know it’s okay to take her if they’d like. If you need to give her money for anything let them know that too.
2 Likes
I had this same issue… and I went off and told everyone every child is to be treated the same of not then no child gets to go… and now all my kids get treated the same… I hope I s that simple for you
1 Like
I wouldn’t say anything to his family. I see that starting drama and the last thing your daughter needs is for them to take her along and make her feel even worse or more of a third wheel than she already feels.
I guarantee they have reasoning as to why they don’t include your daughter. Weather it’s moral or not.
I’m sorry you guys are going through this, hugs!!!
It sucks…but if you’ve only been together for a short time, I can see why they’re not totally including her. Why not make the first move and invite them all over for a cookout. There they can get to know her. If you want to be more direct, ask them to take her out with the rest of the kids so she doesn’t left out(and that you’ll recoup her expenses). Hopefully they will see reason
I think you should talk to them… They should include your child often enough so she doesn’t feel left out… Once families blend, everyone in the family should treat all kids equal
Maybe there’s been other gf’s and children… maybe they are afraid original children feel poorly bc there’s new ppl taking up dads time. I’d not really expect much until he puts a ring on it. Maybe they’re protecting their own hearts too. Just a different prospective.
I dont have much for advice. You need to talk to your bf and ypu guys need to sit down with his family and say that you are a family unit. Its not fair or acceptable to be taking most of the kids and leaving one out all the time.
My inlaws refused to accept this and its part of the reason they arent alloweed around my kids anymore. They also only wanted my son out of my three kids cause he is their only biological grandchild of mine. 