How can I talk to my boyfriends family about leaving my daughter out?

His family sucks to not include her

You take one you take all !!!

This actually broke my fucking heart

Just ask them to include her

Your bf needs to talk to them

It’s a red flag for me. When dating someone with children they are all to be treated the same. Since it’s not that way I would start taking your daughter every weekend to do something just the two of you. And make sure he knows that him and his kids cant come. It will show you’re daughter that you realize it too and are making am effort to make sure she has life experiences and memories too.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my boyfriends family about leaving my daughter out?

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Sorry to say but she is not there grandchild it’s not there responsibility…
Make time for you and your daughter on the weekends leave the rest at home with there dad

Truthfully your man needs to speak up. Yall are together. All the kids should be treated equal. I’ve gotten very blunt with family about our kids. My fiance has one from a Previous relationship and so do I and we have a 5 month old together. Me and him both have said include both boys or you don’t get neither. We also give the boys options on going with family.
But regardless they should be including all the kids. Or none. Its not fair. It will cause psychological issues growing up.

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We you take your daughter out, have it be just you and her.

So many emotions cause I was that step kid before! Speak up for her.

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Talk to them about it- maybe they feel like they can’t take her on a whim like that. Conversations help a lot of things. Best of luck!

Wow, I’m so sorry. They sound really inconsiderate. :sleepy:

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That’s sooo messed up of his family! I would be heart broken for my daughter, I’m sure she feels unwanted & lonely. Makes me angry just thinking about it. I’m sorry :disappointed:

Exact reason my ex and I aren’t together. We also lived together. His kid got to do all sorts of things and mine did not.

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Need to have a talk with your boyfriend. Then he shouldn’t go and talk with his family.

I agree with what’s been suggested. Just going to add that you shouldn’t be afraid to have “mom daughter” dates. As time goes on and how comfortable everyone is you can do the same with his kids. And if bd doesn’t speak up and family doesn’t change u can just do mom daughter dates and occasional family outings :woman_shrugging:t2:

My suggestion is if they wont tke her also then when u do an outing with your daughter make it for her only. Tell them its jot to be rude or exclude anyone but she dont get the outings like the other kids and its not fair for them to get an extra one so its a ger n u day

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They either take all the kids, or no kids. Its not fair on her. she is part of the family!

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Your bf is the one who must speak up!!! I would continue to do things with her on the weekends and the others can’t go. That’s a mother daughter bonding time they will get over it.

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We have a Similar situation but it’s my husband’s other family members. The family does stuff with the other kids but doesn’t ask to do anything with our kids. We rarely get invited to do family stuff and my husband’s other nieces do stuff with their grandparents and my husband’s oldest daughter when she was younger but not the kids we have together.

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Your boyfriend needs to speak up asap. Thats awful :frowning:

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That’s so sad. I’ve had to tell my mother that if she isn’t willing to take all my kids then she’d can’t take any of them. She, of course, didn’t like it, and had quite a bit to say about it, but it’s just not fair to my bonus kids to be left out. She still tries to pull fast ones on me, so I have to keep my guard up. But I would absolutely get your bf to say something.

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I can’t believe they would leave this child out… You live together… They have to know she is alone when they pick up the other kids. So sorry…

I would bring it up. Nobody should be left out it doesn’t matter how long you have been together everyone should be included I would never leave a child behind.

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Just tell them shit like it really is. When I married my husband I had 2 kids from previous relationship. Before we even had kids of our own their family would always involve my kids on everything. Even out of town trips. I never had to mentioned anything to my husband. From the very beginning he told his family that my kids were like his and should be treated as such. Now we have 2 kids together and his family takes all 4

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Sad! I grew up with a step family that didnt believe in doing for the girlfriend’s kids an my mom was with the giy from the time I was 6 to 11 smh. I didnt understand so it would hurt on holidays to see all the other kids opening there presents an different things an alls I was allowed was food. I also know some that dont believe in it till you’ve been together for a year or more. Sad thing is kids dont understand that so it hurts them! Maybe see what their beliefs are an if they cant change their thinking for the sake of your child maybe their not the family for your child or you!

All or none around here!

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Tell them just what you said here

I had this problem in my past marriage…I told them all that if they didn’t include all the kids they didn’t get any of the kids :confused: well they didn’t get any of the kids after that and that’s their loss

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If I dropped by to take the kids out … I would give you a quick call for permission, but I would take them ALL

I don’t have any advice, but am so sorry for your daughter.

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When I was with my ex, my parents always involved his child. When they would hang out with my daughter, they’d take him. We loved him as our own and made sure he didn’t feel left out or as if he wasn’t a part of our family. His mother wasn’t in the picture since he was a toddler. My ex/kids dad is a total narcissist. So my parents wanted to make sure he felt love, just like I did. I think adults can be very cruel. Even if what they are doing is unintentional, it’s wrong. At her age she definitely understands and feels left out. If your boyfriend is aware, he should care. His family should care! Maybe it would be better if it were just you and your daughter. Hope you and your baby girl can get the happiness deserved. Life is too short to put up with shitty spouses or family.

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My mother use to do this to my step kids, I finally had to tell her she could only take my daughter if the other kids were invited also. I don’t understand how adults can leave a child out. Totally wrong

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He’s gotta sack up and tell his side that you guys are living as a family and they need to start treating everyone or no one. And he needs to stick with it. Bc how they treat everyone now that isnt going to magically change if there’s a marriage.

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My husband’s family left my daughter out constantly and she still at 22 remembers it. The relationship with that side of the family was permanently damaged. In my family we include ALL the babies! They are ALL ours regardless of their DNA.

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just next time you see them, talk to them & ask. But just maybe because she is 12, they feel, she won’t be very happy with what they are going to do, because she is older, And lets face it , when my sisters granddaughter went anywhere at that age, all she did was be on her cell phone, Now my granddaughter is that age, & again all she is on, is her cell phone & she really rather be with her friends. So just maybe, they figure she wont be happy. But again, ask them

That is so wrong and any adult doing this should be ashamed of themselves. What the hell is wrong with humans??

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Where is he while you’re working and kids are leaving? If he’s home he should do something with all the kids if he’s at work too I’d make sure nobody is left alone

Kelly Moskal
This really ticks me tf off.

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Get her involved in a church. Lots of group activities and when she makes friends lots of the parents will usually willingly include her in outings.

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Did I read right? His family is picking up his kids to do things without telling either of y’all about it before? First let the family know that isn’t cool. Second let them know that it ok with you if they want to take your daughter along

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I have been in this situation and it really sucks… I took everyone’s kids to swim pool outings etc… And. It became expected of me… But then it had been me and my son for 6 years before… So i would try to get my bf to take his kids for a couple hours and me take mine and meet up in a few hours… But his family they never wanted to include my son i addressed it oh we will do better… But… it just got worse… We it wasnt so enjoyed when his parents csme ans got his kids snd me my son would go do things alone… It was i was being partial… Mind you thesr kids was.much older and would stand in my fsce nad blaintly remind me i wasnt their mama until they wanted something… It got to the point i shut down all outing…if you can’t take 1 take all and that was after the discussions… To see what they felt acceptable… Needless to say the relationship didnt last long once we moved in together…

I uzsx to spend the summers with my step grandma. They need to accept her. My boyfriends family makes sure to always include my oldest even tho he isn’t part of their family. Make sure you talk to them and your boyfriend about it. But honestly that’s super shitgy of them and for him to allow it

It shouldn’t matter if it is their family kids, your daughter is part of that family as well.
You should talk to your BF, it is his family and his kids, including Yours…

There is no reasons to not include your child.

How is it that they pick up the other children to go out and you don’t realize it?
In addition to that, they discriminate against your eldest daughter, here the problem is you, you do not set limits, people have to have character, no one can allow them to hurt their children, either everyone goes or no one goes and you should be aware when they decide do it.

Speak up for her! This is not ok!

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I would simply say “hey, my daughter is feeling a little left out and hurt that you guys will pick up the other kids but leave her behind. Are you just not sure if she wants to go, not sure if I’m comfortable with it, what’s going on? I just wanted to talk to you about this because she has expressed that it hurts her feelings especially because she would like to spend time with you and form a closer relationship with everyone.”

I’d be telling them all … all or nothing… they’re damaging her self esteem thinking shes not good enough for them… and she should be taken out every single time… and if dad doesnt send money, you shouldnt have to either…

His family is his responsibility. You deal with your people, he deals with his. He needs to step up and say something

Just politely ask them why they don’t take her as well? Maybe they don’t know it’s okay. Y’all are dating, not married… They may not know that they should include her. Especially since you just moved in with him.

You take her out then. Just you. Do it ! His family doesn’t have to but they should get their family and you take care of yours

Your boyfriend needs to step up and tell his family that if one kid doesn’t go none of them go. Like wtf that is ridiculous I could never leave one child and take the others, blood or not.

rejection leaves a lasting imprint. So sad. Poor baby :pensive:

If they intentionally alienate her. And he allows this. Get a new boyfriend and family. Obviously that’s a red flag. Been there. If he don’t have the balls to stand up for you. He never will.