What does the bf think about this? Can he not ask about this?
If she’s left out so much take her to do something with just the two of you and not the other kids. Problem solved.
My question is why aren’t the boyfriend’s kids not including her daughter?
Poor girl. I’d talk to them directly. You have that right to ask whats up.
It’s time to step up. I’d tell them if they are taking any it’s all or none. That’s just mean
Maybe they don’t know how to ask you if it’s ok?
Talk to the family. . Offer them money… So that they can take her… Sometimes people don’t know unless you tell them.
That is so shitty! He needs to tell them to include everyone or not at all! My heart hurts for your sweet girl.
i wanna come get your daughter for an outing i feel so bad for her!
Talk to your boyfriend about it and have him discuss it with his family
So sorry she is being left out. They need to include her too!
And make sure to offer money also to pay her way that might help a lot
Just ask them if it’s alright if she goes too
I wouldn’t let any of the kids go if they all couldn’t go
Get him to ask them if there is a problem including your daughter.
That’s just shitty on their part. Include her, sheesh
They should include her every time
U don’t, you’ll have to have one on one time with her more…
I always included all kids!
Ask him to mention it to them. This is definitely going to cause drama and ignorant of them to do.
Idk man I wouldn’t be expecting my daughters grandparents or family to take my son out. He’s not their responsibility and I think it’s really pushy of u to all assume family should. If everyone’s there including the mom then she should be treated equally but the expectation to pick her up and spend one on one time with a child they barely no seems weird to me
I’d say I just dont feel comfortable her being home alone so if they can bring her also I’d appreciate it, and offer the money if needed. It’s kind of a no brainer on their end to invite the kid geeze I feel bad 4 her
I would just say “hey, next time y’all are gonna to do something do you mind if I give you some money for her, can she come too? She mentioned that it would be fun to go with you guys”
It’s not a terrible request and it doesn’t have to be super dramatic or finger pointing. Ya know? You don’t have to tell them you think it’s disrespectful and what not. That’ll just make it negative. If they refuse or lie and end up never taking her or letting you know when they’re going then that would be disrespectful. They may not think she wants to go? You never know their thought process so I’d hold off thinning the worst until you speak to them
It’s up to your boyfriend to handle this with his family. To be honest i wouldn’t do a thing but show your daughter a good time when you’re with her. I always say it’s up to me to show my kids a good time and if someone invites them or thinks of them it’s appreciated but not needed. Maybe find a summer program she can attend.
The family may not know the boundaries, and may feel they are crossing a line just taking a child not related to them. I don’t think they are being intentionally cruel. Just mention to them that your daughter would love to be included, and you are happy to pay her share.
Wtf! My kids won’t even take a soda to someone’s house unless we have one for all the kids! Where is their courtesy and compassion!
Have your boyfriend say something about it and offer to send money to cover her
U need to say something here. If you all are going to do this, then she should be included… simple truth…!!!
They may not be able to afford all of them, maybe offer to pay for your daughter to go? I couldn’t afford to take three kids out, I can just about manage with one. It may be a budget issue not so much a exclusion issue.
You don’t have to be rude or pushy. Just tell them she would love to be involved and you’re happy to pay her way if they don’t mind… I would call whoever is in charge of this family dynamic and have a polite conversation. No one probably even knows where the lines are drawn, or hell, don’t even know there is a problem. Don’t just assume they’re adults and should know better.
So the kids are just home alone until one of his family members picks them up?
Take her out on a just you and her outings on the weekend of the weeks the other kids get to go out.
You and her should have mommy daughter date that’s what I do! Just the two of us
Rather than make it an issue, simply tell your BF that you are taking your daughter out for a mommy and daughter day at least twice a month. He, nor his kids are included. YOU need to have one on one time with her. She has gone from a 2 person household to a 6 person household. She needs some time with YOU. Not his family. There are so many factors to consider here. 1) is there a big age difference between the kids? 2) is your daughter interested in doing the same activities as the other children? 3) is your daughter friendly, respectful, approachable? 4) could there be a limited number of seats available in the vehicle? 5) Have YOU and your bf ever invited 1 or more of the relatives kids to join you guys on an outing? 6) do you tend to cater to your daughter’s needs so completely that people fear that you would insist on making her needs a priority over the rest of the group? 7) how long have they known you or your daughter? I don’t let my kids go with people without me unless I’ve known them for many, many years. Is she even comfortable with these people?. 8) do his kids like or tolerate your daughter? If they genuinely like her THEY will ask Cousin, Uncle, Grandparent etc if your daughter can go. 9) This is NEW to everyone. You and your BF hopefully took some time to get to know each other…give the kids some grace to do the same. 10) possibly you’re the 5th person he has moved in, everyone accepted and befriended. Then relationship goes south and they lose someone they loved. Just chill and spend some ONE on ONE time with your daughter. She could be REJECTING the families invites to get some time alone with you!!!
I don’t think this needs to be addressed , honestly just because you and him made a family doesn’t mean they have too ? Why force some one on them ? That sounds like a worse situation then being left out . If they don’t want to take her then they shouldn’t have too . && also if the other kids have been going since before you then you should never interfere with that , your going to make them resent you . That’s their special time too . I get your kid doesn’t have family but that is not his kids fault or his families , if they want to take her they will . Maybe find a friend she can go hang out with , my son gets to do things with his other half of the family while my other two do not , I would never say hey you need to take my others cause it isn’t fair .
I’d be mad!!! All go, or none!!!
Sorry to say but they obviously don’t see you daughter as their family which it’s not. I know many families will include other kids but many also won’t. The other kids are blood and involved in the family since day 1 but you a d your partner are only just living together so they probably don’t see it as an issue. You have to not expect them to include your daughter and she to needs to understand this to I’m afraid. It’s seems there’s some jealousy to. Unfortunately it’s something you either have to address or move in from.
Just hav a talk with bf n his family. Cause they may think u wont be ok wit them just taking ur daughter out or they may be afraid to have to answer to u if something goes wrong n dey get blamed by u. So…just talk to them n see where it goez.
If you get in a relationship with a ready made family you treat them as your own, and the one coming in to the ready made family should accept them too and treat them all equal, proper fcked up to play mind games like so when young children are involved.
I think you partner should step up and open his mouth he knows the situation and knows how it’s making the child feel…
I wouldnt want them to be my extended family if you can be so callous and hurt my child.
Especially when she has no one.
Doesn’t take alot to just accept they have a step grand daughter… like have a heart ffs
You dont really have a leg to stand on. You just moved in, you’re not married. They dont have to do anything with you & your daughter.
They dont know you very well. Probably why. Taking another persons child is a MAJOR responsibility! They also dont need to support your child in anyway because its not their responsibility too.
Your boyfriend needs to have a sit down conversation with them. If this is a problem for him. Not everyone is nice. The world isnt fair.
If this is going to be a big issue for you? Then you need to rethink your relationship.
Call them out for it and be unapologetic in how you speak with them. Show them through you how much they’ve hurt her and how you will not stand there and allow it to happen.
If your BF doesn’t step up and side with you, find a new man. No good man will watch his family hurt his “stepdaughter” and do nothing about it.
Lastly, I would take days with just your daughter. Make her feel loved and special. It might hurt the other kids feelings but
My kid and her feelings will ALWAYS come first.
They include her period.
Just speak up. I had to do it.
Don’t marry him, it will always b that way for her I can tell you this
Yea definitely a red flag. It will only get worse. Get away before y’all are freaking married and miserable
Is there a huge age gap with your daughter and the other kids? Maybe that’s why they don’t invite your daughter thinking she would be bored if she is with younger kidd
It’s up to the bf to figure it out. It could be money or seats in the car. May be a simple thing. If he can’t get them on board then tell him to limit the visits for all the kids
I was in this same boat a bit ago and i hated every second of it. I finally snapped, not even gonna lie. My exs daughter would shove it in my daughters face & say hareful things like her nana said she wasnt allowed to touch it or nothing but was so sweet to my kids in person. I had no choice but to cut out toxic people in my kids life intentionally hurting my child.
Talk to the grandma they usually run interference and negotiations
I can’t believe they leave her behind! If you have to ask them, are they really the type of people you want being with your daughter?
Just straight up ask them why she’s not included
Awh man. That’s sad. Maybe his family isn’t sure if you’re comfortable with letting them be responsible for your daughter without you there? Or they may be jerks, who knows? I’d see if your bf could bring it up and just explain it the way you did about her not having a big family and being lonely and feeling left out. If your bf and you are serious then it’s a blended family. Your daughter is their family too….I could leave out anyone’s kid.
I would talk to your boyfriend and have him have the conversation with his family.
All kids or no kids🤷♀️
I would never leave a kid out like that
Awe sweet girl. I’ll take her out! We’ll have a great time
This happened to me the other day and this was my reply
His family are just assholes - who leaves a 12 year old home alone while rounding up everyone else to have a good time
You can talk to them and ask them if they mind. Also, go out on the weekend with your kid alone. She needs that.
I mean realistically they don’t have to take your daughter. You’re just his girlfriend and it isn’t his place to make your daughter go with or bring it up.
He can if he wants too and make her feel included in his family but you haven’t mentioned how long you’ve been together either. The family shouldn’t feel guilty in taking your daughter cause she is left out. Yeah it’s shitty but they can’t be responsible for your daughter if something happens. Otherwise bring it up to them and start drama, cause that’s what is going to happen. Cause guess what, when you’re gone, they’re still going to take his kids.
Its not fair to keep all the kids away when they’re actually related to them and your daughters not… Yeah it’d be nice if they took her but they really don’t need to
Lay the boundary that if they’re gonna take their grandkids, that it needs to be planned out in advanced so you can plan something with your daughter.
Unfortunately just bc you decided to blend families doesn’t mean they have to treat her like their grandkids bc she’s not their grandkids. But this situation speaks SOOOOOOO MUCH about their character and shows their true colors.
Editing bc I saw another comment that stated maybe they don’t know how to invite her without overstepping. Maybe they aren’t sure if it’s okay to invite her along. Just communicate with them.
I would not let any of the other kids go unless they involved her. If you know she can notice don’t allow it
Unpopular opinion here. Even though the NICE thing to do would be to include her in outings, it’s not their responsibility to entertain your child or to be responsible for her while your at work. You should have your daughter in a day camp or something while you work if you can afford that, that way she’s not left sitting home alone all summer… You can also take your daughter out once in a while one-on-one and not include your bf and his kids every time.
Make arrangements to do something ONLY with your daughter and let her bring a friend. Leave the bf home with his kids. They’ll figure it out really fast. He can explain to his kids that Mary didn’t get to go when they went so now she gets to do something special, when they want to go. And don’t tell him you’re going until you’re walking out the door. Sometimes people need a direct hit to understand a problem.
Make weekends about you and her then you to get ready and have a girls day everyweekend she’ll love it and who cares if they don’t understand or feel left out it they never think to invite her
He should be making your child feel included 1000 . This makes me sick mama don’t let ur girl be treated like this x
Well if your boyfriend nor you even know they are picking them up how are these people suppose to know its even ok to just take someones kid anywhere. If my sons girlfriend had a child i would not pick that child up and just go do outings. If they were married that would be a different story but you just moved in with the man and you expect his family to just take your kid on family outings? It is not their fault the childs father isnt around. It is not their fault you have little family. Thats just crazy to even think your BOYFRIENDs family is obligated to take your child on their family outings when you just moved in with the guy. Dont jump me for my opinion. She asked for our opinions.
If there’s 6 of you all together… you, your boyfriend & your daughter im assuming he has 3 of his own kids… maybe they don’t have room for another or like you guys, can’t afford it… not making excuses but thinking of legitimate reasons why. Saying something is completely up to you but I wouldn’t want someone to feel obligated to take my child places or be involved in their lives if they don’t make the effort on their own. I was with my ex for nearly 10 years. My first child isn’t his, he raised her from the age of 1 1/2. His family welcomed her as their own. We ended up having a son together. After we split his family nor him asked for my daughter, I didn’t ask them to get her or spend time with her nor did she for a while. My son was the one who started asking for his sister to get to go stay or go places with them & they let her. They said they didn’t know she wanted to spend time with them, they thought she would just ask like she used to. Kind of a different situation but maybe just have her ask them if she can join if there’s enough space in the car or whatever. It sucks for her to be left out & if it continues just tell your boyfriend his kids get plenty of activities so when it’s your time off you want to just take her to do something fun.
This is so sad omg shame on those people. I would even take a family members friend if they were around when I asked for that child to come to a wave pool or something. This breaks my heart. What is wrong with people? Take all or none! Nothing is the kids fault. Poor mama i wouldn’t even be able to keep my cool.
I would just text the family that " hey my daughter would really love to join in one of these times, would that be ok? I’ll leave money so she can pay for her stuff"
There’s nothing wrong with you having time alone with your kid. Sounds like she could use it.
People are responding like y’all have kids together. If y’all are newly together I understand why they don’t take her. It’s not their place to. Now on the other hand if y’all been together for years and have kids together I’d see the problem. Then I’d say nah none of the kids go. But if your new to the home etc your new to them and they’ve probably been picking up his kids their not responsible for someone who just came along.
I’ll tell you, when I saw my son treating his stepson differently except for discipline,I jumped in his shit but good. And then I turned to his wife and told her, how dare you marry a man who doesn’t love your son same as his own! My son is an ass but you’re an idiot to stand for that.
I had them both in tears and may I say, today, they are a beautifully blended family. Stand up for your child. You can’t change who you chose for her father but you sure can choose who put in her life from now on…
Huge red flag in my opinion. She doesn’t have to go all the time but sometimes would be nice. My sons dad douchebag family used to do this. They would take my exs twins to the zoo or swimming or the aquarium etc and my daughter was 2 and just wanted to be included. They all ended up being terrible people, he’s in jail now, and his entire family is crooked ass cops. And when I mentioned it to him he would just talk shit about how I was “complaining” about them not including her. I’d be finding a new man.
He needs to be the one to do it. It doesn’t matter how you word it or how delicately you approach the conversation, it will absolutely come across the wrong way if you do it. Talk to your husband about how you and your daughter feel and he needs to be the one to talk to his family members to ensure all the kids feel included. It’s hard work blending a family, but it’s important to let your families know that you are a cohesive unit and a package. He has to enforce it to his family, you have to enforce it to your family and y’all HAVE TO STAND BY IT. I’m so sorry your baby girl is feeling left out, my daughter feels the same way. It’s a process but we’re working on it and things have been soooo much better lately. Talk to your husband, let him address it.
Um so your kids are home alone and they pick up the others and leave her? Dafuq? Next time it happened I’d find out where they were and show my a$$. “LOOKS LIKEBYALL FORGOT ONE!!” “ACTUALLY EVERYONE COME ON THEY WANNA BE A RUDE DUCK THEN NONE OF YALL CAN GO”
Be straight id say if youre going to take his kids you can take mine. Theyre all youre grandkids even if mines not blood. It isnt fair to do to a little girl 12 or not id definately tell my mil fuck no! youre not going to treat my kid like shit!
Lay it out straight for you’re boyfriend if nothing changes then you need to leave.
Your daughter is number one in your life not your boyfriend.
Things like that can scar a child & they NEVER forget so unless you want to be “that mum” get it sorted & get it sorted ASAP.
We have one rule for a blended family ALL children are treated the same one goes they all go especially if it means one child is left home alone which is extremely dangerous these days.
As her mum you are her voice I personally wouldn’t stand for it & id be talking to my boyfriend so he can TELL his family all or nothing he can deal with there butt hurt issues.
One thing I will say get this sorted NOW before your daughter ends up hating you for it.
Poor girl
Boyfriend should definitely say something.
As a adult I don’t know how you can just go pick up kids to go on an outing but leave one kid behind without even asking or calling up mom to ask her if it’s okay.
Like if you take one you take all!
Are they obligated to take her? No. Of course not. But I will say, it says something not so good about their character that any of them would feel comfortable picking up every kid in that house to go do something fun and leaving one of them behind. Period. I could NEVER. I would at least ask that child’s mother in advance if it’s okay if she goes in the future. If that child’s parents aren’t OK with it that’s one thing but not even asking and excluding one of the children is sick.
There are major red flags with him and his family. I just think they’ve shown their character for sure. There’s absolutely no way my in-laws would do anything like this to my daughter from a previous marriage. They treated her like their own from day 1
I feel sorry for the children in all of these situations. They feel left out & that should never happen to a child. It’s cruel
He knew what tike it was when yall got together. Yall are a family and the daughter should be picked up too…tell him straight up what it is.
That’s not her family. They have no obligations to take her.
How about you give her money and plan something for her with her friends?
Tell them about the texts and what all you just wrote or print the letter out and show it to your boyfriend. This would be a deal breaker for me.
Tell your boyfriend to tell them his don’t go unless ALL the kids go. That’s just mean and petty to leave her out! I’d be beyond pissed!!
That’s not their responsibility that’s only your BOYFRIEND if he was your husband okay but he’s not
Your boyfriend should have already said something by now. Period…
I have dealt with this before and honestly there is nothing you can do. You cant make others accept your child and if you force it they might not treat the child right out of spite. It’s not your bf fault its shitty people. I would just tell them if not all kids can go no one can.
Maybe they don’t want to be responsible for her if something happens?
They left your daughter at home alone?..…
You take her out just the two of you, on a regular basis!
Some of you are going to make horrible step moms…
People like that shouldn’t even think about multiplying That’s toxic as fuck! It’s not the kid’s fault you were a whore and couldn’t wait
You tell them point blank you treat all the kids or none of the kids.
Wouldn’t none of them damn kids be going.
I’d be pissed! If she doesn’t go then they don’t go
Don’t subject her to their bullshit — your job is to protect her heart, even at the expense of loneliness. Go find a better man
It’s just Plain mean.
Brittney Rogers - Thimyan do you have some help?