How would mamas talk to your child’s father and the father’s girlfriend about the girlfriend wearing more clothing when my child is there to visit? I don’t want to body-shame her at all, but it does make me feel so uncomfortable when I pick my son up after the weekend being with his dad that the dad’s girlfriend always is half-naked around my four-year-old
You can’t make her wear more clothing especially with the warm weather at the moment, however you can express your opinion. I always wear at least a T-shirt and shorts around my stepson who is also 4. But unless it’s actually revealing anything inappropriate then there isn’t much you can say, such as if they all went swimming then she’d most likely be in a bikini anyways so long as everything is covered you shouldn’t worry x
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my exes girlfriend about wearing more clothes around my child?
Her clothes isn’t your business but your child is your business make other arrangements
Get her a robe as a gift
If shes not being inappropriate then you need to find a way to get over this. Would you be fine with her being at the beach in a bikini with your child? Is your child saying theyre uncomfortable? This is more of a personal problem for you, and it might be worth it to talk to a counselor to help you move past this. Im not shaming you at all, and i hope you find a way to acknowledge and move past the fact that youre having a hard time right now
Children don’t immediately sexualize things or people so I wouldn’t be too worried about what she’s wearing, as it’s not your business. Also, would be more helpful if “half naked” was defined like is she wearing a crop top that you don’t like or shorts you don’t like or is she walking around in a bra and underwear or actually naked?
What do you mean half naked? Underwear and bra, shorts and a crop top? Short skirt, bikini? I would find it inappropriate if they were walking around in their bra and Underwear all day even when you pick them up. Otherwise its none of my business what clothes she wears.
Sounds like jealousy
You need to get over it lol. If it was anyone else, I’m sure you wouldn’t have an issue. Since its dads girlfriend, sounds like you press it too much. Her clothes aren’t your business. 4 year olds don’t sexualize things. Adults do.
It sounds like some jealousy comin out of your end🤷🏻♀️ do you tell women at the pool or beach to put on some clothes? I think not.
Unfortunately you have no say over another person’s clouthing as they don’t over yours.
If you take your kid to the beach or pool they see women walking around in what looks like underwear. What’s the difference other than she’s at home
You have no right to tell people what to wear in there own home, unless your four year old is saying it makes them feel uncomfortable (which I highly doubt) then you’re going to have to deal with it.
I think the saying is… that sounds like a YOU problem.
Also id be mortified… “excuse me, I don’t like that you’re body confident and have skin on show around me child, please put it away” #growup!
Sounds more of your problem than an actual issue. Is she in a bra an panties? Lingerie? Your child is not sexulizing her, you are.
If your son is telling you it’s making him uncomfortable then definitely address it! But if it’s not bothering him at all then I would leave it
You don’t. Unless your child says it bothers them, they are covered and it’s not your business.
Her clothing is not you’re business you’re just making you’re self sound jealous
I went through this being the girlfriend. Ex shows up with the kids. I’m sitting there with some pretties on. I’m not sorry, I was covered and I’m not going to run and hide because of the exes insecurities.
None of your business… ?? 4 year olds don’t sexualize. Adults like you do. I am sorry to say it like that. But that’s what it is. There is no way that baby would ever look at her sexually. I am sure it doenst bother baby at all. I would stay out of it. Could cause much more problems.
On one note, is this “half naked” any more revealing than a bathing suit? We need more info. If she’s running around in revealing lingerie or t-shirt no panties, then yeah I’d be uncomfortable too. Your son’s going to see women everywhere, in sport bras and short shorts, please take a deep breath and see if your perspective might be a tad cloudy.
Mind your business. (And what she wears is none of your business.)
You don’t it’s her body, are you going to tell her she can’t wear a swimsuit too🤦🏼♀️
Well lets face it, this is not about how your kid is feeling, this is your way of making an excuse by using your child to cover up your jealousy hun. Work on yourself Cause she can wear whatever she wants!
u can’t! Her body ,her choice ,
Side note… teachable moment for your kids . Explain that everyone has a choice to wear what they want , when they want!
Umm no ma’am! Lol you don’t get to say who wears what, it is body shaming no matter how much sugar you try to put on it. Let that women wear what she feels comfortable in!
Hmm, have you tried minding your own goddamn business?
Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not normal
Lol what? It’s none of your business what she wears, especially in her own home.
The stepmom could be blowing smoke in your childs face…having child bring or make her drinks…child forced to scrub floors with a toothbrush…and all this mother would see is that stepmom is half naked. This isn’t about the child.
If your child has mentioned it that it makes your child uncomfortable then talk to the dad which I don’t think a child will notice (I have a 4 year old and she’s never mentioned anything about how someone dresses). If it’s not harming your child let her dress how she feels.
It bothers YOU, not your innocent 4 year old, who shouldn’t be taught that the naked body is “bad” and “dirty”… when and if your child says something makes them uncomfortable, unprompted and unconditioned to do so, then say something. If kids could run around naked, they would, so kids aren’t bothered by it, adults are, until adults teach them different. Please, the level of projection here is 1000, get some help for your issues.
Its okay to want someone to be more modest … I don’t let it all hang out because i have a 7yr old who watches my every move. She looks up to me. Kids pay more attention then we give them credit. While your busy cursing someone out thinking your kids occupied by their toys (whole time they are taking everything in) its okay to set boundaries
Umm. The kid is 4?
Stop making it weird cuz i promise you. At 4 that child does not think it weird. For fucks sakes.
If she’s walking around naked then fair enough but if she has her ‘indecent’ areas covered then it’s non of your business. When you say half naked can you elaborate?
I’m sorryyyy what!? It’s her body stop sexualizing her body and you won’t have an issue with it. Period. That’s kinda creepy of you.
Unpopular opinion but I agree with you. I don’t even be around my children half naked so hell no I wouldn’t want some random woman around my kids half naked. (There’s a difference between women in swimsuits at the pool, that is for short periods of time and there’s a purpose of wearing swimsuits, not for 48 hours with no reason to have no real clothes on in front of kids) I also have a 4 year old boy that is obsessed with boobs, butts, penises, and vaginas right now. Thinks they’re funny, just made up a song yesterday about penises . So yeah I don’t feel it’s appropriate for her to be around your son like that and should have enough respect for your child to wear clothes in his presence. She still gonna be walking around like that in front of him when he’s 16 and she’s still playing step mommy. No wonder step mom and step sis porn is so popular with the way this behavior is being defended.
What do you want her to do disappear I bet
Simple you wear less clothes
Half naked or in shorts and a shirt fit for the summer:thinking: I wear short ass shorts as soon as the weather starts warming up and t-shirts. I’d love for someone to tell me their opinion on how I dress. It still wouldn’t change the fact that I wear what is comfortable to me not to please anyone else.
And this is why girls in high school get sent home for “distracting” boys with a tank top or shorts. Teach your son right and wrong and not to stare at women and view them sexually constantly and it shouldnt be an issue.
I disagree with everyone saying mind your business. I had to tell my sons dad’s gf to do the same bc he came home and said he didn’t like “seeing her boobies” bc she walked around in just her bra. He was 5 at the time. I called and said she can do what she wants when my child isn’t there, but it was disrespectful to my child and to cover up when he visited
As a step mom myself I normally put more clothes on when my step child comes over (baggy t shirt and shorts, normally naked or just a baggy shirt). But my child is old enough to know the difference between my body and his. Depends how half naked she actually is (or if it is a jealousy thing) and does your child notices yet or not
Saw a comment that said " you can’t, her body her choice " technically yes BUT…
Her kid, her choice, she’s mom! Respect the moms wishes and cover up a little… there are ways to show skim and look cute without showing everything off…
Would yall feel the same way if the boy was 14 instead of 4…? No.
I say talk to the girl. Tell her how it makes you feel… Hopefully she can respect it and cover up 2 days out of a 7 day week.
Explain to the kid some people are comfortable like that explain why u dont dress like that BUT…I wouldnt say anything about it till he does…he will ask when he does be prepared…leave that women alone!!! Teach ur kid not to be so judgmental!!
U say u don’t want to body shame then go onto say she needs to wear more clothes??? She’s an adult dont matter what u or anyone else says. Normalize the human body our kids see it everyday and make no big deal out if it unless their taught to make a big deal out of it.
You don’t. Mind your business.
All you ladies saying her body her choice. I teach my daughters as I was taught.
You don’t show both cleavage and legs at the same time. It’s one or the other unless it’s a swimsuit.
There has to be boundaries.
Lol my neighbor Is in her 50s and dresses like she’s 16 and wears tiny tiny clothes and nothing can do. She just looks dumb herself
Look to all you saying its her body yall need to grow up! It’s a respect thing that child is not the girlfriends she could at least have enough respect to cover herself appropriately with a child in the home! Just because she can show it doesn’t mean she has to! If it makes you uncomfortable say something!
You mind your own business
Talk to your husband about it. He should tell her not you. Where’s his common sense?
What is she wearing? If she’s walking round top less then fair enough but even if she’s walking around in a bikini top then I don’t think you really can say anything.
I get that he’s your kid and it’s your choice but he’s also the dads kid and he doesn’t have an issue with it. I’f you have another partner would you be happy with him asking to always keep a shirt on around your child?
It’s crap and I totally understand. Maybe have a chat with your ex and explain how it’s making you feel. Has you son mentioned anything about the new girls fitness clothing choice?
It makes YOU uncomfortable.
Read it again. It makes YOU uncomfortable.
Bodies are just bodies to 4 year olds. They don’t have any clue about sexualization. Which it what you’re doing. It’s summer time, shorts, crop tops, skirts, dresses exist.
This is a you problem, not a problem for your child. Children are innocent, I’m sure it doesn’t bother them. If anything this is a great opportunity to teach them that everyone is different AND worth respecting no matter what they look or dress like. Her house, her body, her rules.
Lol. Girl you need to mind your own business
Do you know what she’s wearing? Is it skimpy clothes l, or pajamas or is she not wearing anything? There’s a difference between the 2. My boys see me naked but only in proper circumstances; getting dressed, in the shower, on the potty, etc. I’m not big on walking around naked. I don’t want to see that and no one else should have to. I’m overweight and uncomfortable in my body. I do not share those thoughts with my boys (5 & 2). They ask questions and I give age appropriate answers. But that’s all besides the point. My point is if your child isn’t comfortable (saying I don’t like it, it bothers me, etc) then bring it up. If your child doesn’t say anything like that leave it alone. She’s in her space and she can do whatever she wants there. Don’t say anything. Would you like it if your ex wanted you to be clothed from head to foot? Because your child said something to him? (An extreme example) How would you feel? What would you do? Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. A little kindness goes a long way.
It makes YOU uncomfortable…
“I don’t want to body shame her, I just want her to do exactly what I want in her own house to satiate my comfort level.” Girl, grow tf up. Not your house, not your rules. You can’t control everyone else to your comfort.
Some of y’all women are worse than men.
You cannot dictate what another grown person is wearing. Just because you wouldn’t ever dress that way, doesn’t mean his gf cannot. You’re judging her based on her attire. Get a grip. You’re a parent. He’s a parent. Unless you want him controlling your partner (if/when you have one) then you need to leave her ALONE.
Grown women should dress appropriately around kids IMO. But unfortunately it has been normalized to not dress appropriately and then shame young boys instead…
Her body, her choice…yes!!!
I don’t think it’s something a 4 year old would really think about. Do you go to the beach? Does he see people in bathing suits? It’s not any different
Don’t do it or they’ll start walking around in a bikini just to annoy you
I think if she’s walking around in her underwear in front of your son you have a reason to be uncomfortable. He’s at the age to start asking questions. And if this post was about a step dad and daughter I’m sure everyone telling you to mind your own business would be saying the opposite.
Well you don’t get a say. For the most part what happens at the fathers home isn’t you business. If the kid is safe and cared for then it doesn’t matter if the GF wears less clothing than what you approve of. Are the important bits covered? Prob so it’s not your business nor anyone else’s what she’s comfortable in. Do you want the dad trying to control what’s happening in your home?
Unless she’s walking around with no pants on, or topless, then it’s non of your business.
You can’t tell someone what they can and can’t wear, lol. Especially in her own home. You can explain to your child that you don’t like to dress like GF, but that’s as far as it can go.
I mean if she is actually half naked then yeah bring it up communication is key here,but then you have said it’s you that is uncomfortable with her choice of clothing has the child mentioned it to you at all ??? Kids generally pay zero attention to what someone wears
you don’t it makes you sound petty and jealous. kids don’t see it like adults.
agree with the above comments. Unless your son says something, without you saying something to him first about their lack of clothing. Leave it along, Worry more if they weren’t caring for your son
I guess I’m the odd one out. If she’s walking around in a bra and underwear around someone else’s child, I think she should cover up as well. That’s what I think when someone says half naked though. I guess it depends what half naked means to OP.
Define half naked??? Is she actually walking around topless or something or is she just wearing clothes that are too skimpy for your taste lmao
It’s like 1000 degrees right now. Everyone is walking around half naked girl
What is half naked to you? Walking around in a sports bra and shorts are fine. Walking around in a lace bra and thong panties are not. Other than that, I dont see a problem.
I mean the way I look at it is if it isn’t sexual don’t make it sexual. But if your son says he feels uncomfortable the definitely relay that to dad and the girlfriend. Just let them know your son came to you and he didn’t know how to tell them he feels uncomfortable when she does that. If your son doesn’t think anything of it then I would leave it be. Half naked means a lot of different things to different people.
If she’s exposing herself to your son and around your son then I would definitely speak up even if your son hasn’t said anything.
Have u never been to a water park or a beach with your child? A bikini is no different from bra and underwear. Most bikini are more revealing then underwear. Get used to it. Its summer.
I feel like there should be boundaries in every child’s life and if she is walking around in a bra and a thong then yes she needs to cover up. But Honestly all you can do is talk to her. Express to her how you feel but also let her know that you’re not trying to body shame her. If she is a good woman she will understand. A child’s needs are always more important and you are that child’s mother you both should have respect for each other. kids do pay attention to what people wear I have 3 I know this. Bottom line you are this child’s mom if you feel uncomfortable about something you need to speak up. Personally go straight to her and talk to her not your ex. Just stay calm, if she disagrees then talk to your ex. But you should always stand up for your child regardless who’s feelings it’s going to hurt.
I’m so sorry that everyone seems to be attacking you here, we are supposed to be supporting each other and it’s ok to disagree but gracefully so, anyways beyond that, I get it! But it prob doesn’t bother your kiddo that much YET, it will but not yet. Or your child will start to think that it’s normal to always let everything hang out or so the saying goes, as uncomfortable as it is I would prob not start an issue about it. However if you feel like you are your ex (your child’s father) have a good enough relationship with respect and understanding (I know hard to find it ex’s) but if you do you could always mention it to him and see if he takes it well enough to address it in a sweet way with her. You def don’t want to cause prob in their relationship but there is a grown up issue at hand and a grown up way to address I’d and move on. Good luck momma
I mean, is it skimpy clothing? Or is she undressed?
Depends what you mean by half naked
Bra and underwear wouldn’t be happy
shorts and strap top no worries short dress etc
She shouldn’t have to cover up if it is the latter
It might help if you were a little more specific. Is she walking around with skimpy clothes? What is your definition of half naked?
You’re kid will see half naked people on the beach or at a pool. Unless she’s walking around naked, let it go.
You cannot control what she wears any more then she can control what you wear. Don’t say anything. Just drop off and pick up your son and keep it moving.
Depends on your definition of half naked.
People try and say I shouldn’t dress “half naked” in front of my 4 year old. Being a parent doesn’t mean you have to ditch all of your shorts and crop tops, especially during this weather
4? I promise your child doesn’t see it the way you do. 🤷🏽♀
Her body her choice. Im sure the 4 year old doesn’t care at all. Lol
Mind your own business period. This will just cause issues and makes you sound like a jealous ex.
Tell her straight… wear what you want with your bf… but bitch, when my son is there… cover up… women shouldn’t be walking around like that around kids that ain’t there’s
I don’t know if you meant actually topless or not but I don’t think a child should be around women wearing bikini’s or short, shorts around kids that ain’t there’s unless your swimming or at the beach… tell the father to get his bitch in check either wear more clothes when your son is there or don’t be there when he visits his dad… simple as that… this same rule for me personally would apply just the same if your bf was walking around in his boxers while your son is there… that wouldn’t be right…
The only grown ups kids should see (not intentionally) in their underwear or w.e is their OWN PARENTS… Not their parents bf/gf
Unless their in a series relationship that’s lasted at least 1 year +
But again… that’s my opinion
If she is walking around in her underwear it’s probably not cool but your x should also being saying something to her .
WHAT HE DOES ON HIS TIME AINT YOUR BUSINESS OR CONTROL… If she ain’t fully naked mind your own wardrobe sounds like your petty and just want to fight and you will only hurt your son unless he’s in harms way bite your tongue.
My daughter is 4 and sees me in crop tops and shorts…I’m an adult and can dress how I want and she’s a kid that literally only sees it as a person in clothes. You can’t tell another adult how to dress, your kid will see this whether from her or a stranger… are you worried about your child or are you jealous and insecure?
Boyfriends brothers girlfriend dresses with her tits hanging out of her shirt, so I understand this completely. Tank tops and shorts are completely fine, mind you so don’t take that the wrong way. I’m in no way a jealous person. But it is a problem when I’m a breastfeedint mother and my child notices the other girls breasts. It’s awkward for everyone involved. I never speak up because I don’t want to cause problems, so it never changes. If you have a decent relationship with them, speak up. Otherwise it’ll never change.
Define half naked. Walking around in pants but nothing up top, I would speak up. I live all summer in booty shorts and a bikini top, and no one has any right to comment.
Is she good with your child
Does she help provide
Does she cuddle and love your child
Play games and draw
Go out on a adventures?
That should be the concern
Pics or it didnt happen lol
Depends on what you consider half naked? What I see as half naked may not be the same you’re thinking
I think your problem lies with how you see yourself why should it bother u yiur son will see half naked woman everywhere he goes beach swimming walking down the street dont be one of them baby mammas
Depends on what your talking about, like panties and bra ? Unfortunately if she’s wearing shorts and shirts unfortunately nothing you can do but walking around with half her clothes off now that’s different
Get over yourself unless she is naked there is not issues even then it’s human nature, domt make it taboo and it won’t be taboo