I was sexually abused by my uncle when I was 9 …I never told a soul about it…many years later I found out this uncle sexually abused his daughter and all 3 of my younger sisters. I carried the guilt for a long time because if I had told someone…maybe my 3 sisters would not have been abused.
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Send him a picture of your hand giving the one finger salute. He’ll understand the meaning of your gesture. Tell him to confess to your Mother or your going to tell her yourself. It will also relieve your Mother for feeling bad for him being in jail for life.
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You need to get it out. You’re the victim not him or them. You are the one who has had to hide it for so long when you shouldn’t have had to do that. Right now what matters most is your mental state not anyone else’s. If they don’t believe you or understand that is their problem not yours. No one should ever defend monsters bc that makes them one too if they do!
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Scream your truth out loud baby. The ones who will honor your truth will stand beside you family or not. Those that victim blame, shame or don’t believe aren’t loving you truly. You are a survivor. A fucking warrior. Stand up, confront those demons or the past will eat you up without a doubt. Peace to you and your heart💜
Please talk to SOMEONE about it!!! I know it hurts to relive the trauma but it will take a big weight off your shoulders
Plz don’t stay quite bout this tell ur husband and or ur mother …he is where he should be for a reason but I got to talk to somebody bout it or it’ll always bug u n prbly lead to more problems mentally for u .u didn’t deserve what he did to u.n it was NOT ur fault for what he did to u.i speak to u bout this becuz my mom’s brother (( I disowned that bastard)) molested me n many others in our family including his own daughter…i nvr told anyone when he did this to me not until years later n I told my kids n my husband bout it. I believe this is y I ended up using drugs i took so much of me not to tell my momma in her dying bed.i didn’t want her to die knowing this n try n blame herself so she died n I nvr told her what her bastard brother did to me.
Write a letter if you can’t tell them face to face …start there
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I would speak up sweetie. You are holding so so much in. You will feel better and at peace if you do. You might encourage others to speak out too if he had did this to others. I also think it would be a great idea if you looked into therapy, someone to talk to. Some are against it, but it truly helps.
I am so sorry that happened to you. I think if you can get it out by either talking to a therapist or a trusted adult – whether it be your mom or another family member – you’ll feel better and maybe the flashbacks will go away or, at least, come less frequently. The longer you keep the secret, the more guilt and shame you’ll feel. Abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault. He preyed on you and your sense of security with the threats of what would happen if you told your mom when it was happening.
Talk to your Mom, she is probably more resilient than you think. Momma-bear-love makes us strong. She needs to understand why you will not be sending a photo of your child to that predator. It doesn’t need to be shared with the rest of the Family (unless you want to). You are under ZERO obligation to be in any kind of contact with that cousin. If you feel like this is bringing up PTSD/Anxiety issues or feelings of guilt, give yourself some grace. Maybe speak with a counselor. Love your inner child as you love your own daughter, you were an innocent child and what happened was no fault of your own♥️
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Write him an explain to him what he did and how it has ruined your life. Tell your mom she can read it before she sends it if she wants to. Then go get counseling so you can live your life
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Please get help. Speak up because you have nothing to bring ashamed of!
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Sit down and write your mother a letter from the heart of your experience with your uncle. Don’t leave anything out and Forget that he is your mother’s brother when you write. Mail the letter registered so you know she got it. Time you give up the denial and start taking care of yourself 
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It’s hard not to worry about hurting people we love but it wasn’t something you did and telling them may hurt them but your uncle
Is the one who caused the pain to you and to them, he’s the one who will have hurt them not you. That his secret and it’s time for you to take the weight of his burden off of your shoulders.
Tell them. And get some help, please. You deserve some peace.
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YOU are the most important person in this situation!!
Unburden yourself and speak the truth, don’t concern yourself with how damaging or hurtful the truth is for the rest of your family to hear. That is not your responsibility.You continue to protect the very person that abused you , WHY?
I would encourage you to seek out some professional support in how to approach this moving forward.
I wish you peace & healing & support from your family. That’s the very least you deserve.
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Speak up. Even if they don’t believe you, you’ll feel better. My cousin’s husband did the same to me and when I finally said something 10 years later, my cousin didn’t believe me. How dare I accuse him of such things. Now they have a baby girl and I worry for her every day. 
Write him a letter get it off your chest. Tell him whatever you need to because you sweetie deserve peace and are the victim. Make a copy and hand it to your mom as she watches you drop his it in the mail! Let her know she is to never ever speak of you or your family to him again and the reasons are In this letter. If she chooses not to believe you then you walk away. Toxic comes in all forms and if she is as close as it sounds you all are she knows her daughter is being truthful. Don’t worry about hurting others you are the one hurting and do not let anyone guilt you into feeling as if anything is your fault. You deserve to get this out and you should because mentally it’s not healthy and this is what it’s going to take. You are worthy and you are strong and you deserve to get this is off your chest. Nobody ever deserves to be abused in anyway shape or form. Hugs and prayers honey.
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If its bothering you maybe tell them, or seek out therapy and go from there? Unfortunately most ppl will side with the family pedo…. It’s happened in our family and it sucks💔 I grieve for you and am so sorry about what’s happened to you! If that happened to one of my own children I would believe them over my sibling and do all in my power to try and right the wrong.
You are victimizing him!! No maam! He is NOT the victim here! YOU ARE! Speak up for yourself! It is NEVER to late! And if no one believes you or they take his side well then it’s time to start cutting people out ! WORD!
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Get it off your chest and tell someone whether a trusted friend counselor or a therapist.You are at no fault and your mental health is so important!
Hugs. I hope you are talking with a professional about managing this trauma. They will help you decide how to approach your family. Don’t send him letters or pictures. If your mom asks tell her that you’re not comfortable and leave it at that.
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You need to find someone you trust and believes you. Tell them. And take them…when and only when you’re ready to tell your mom. If she can’t believe you then. There’s not since on saying anything more. Just continue with your life in the happiness you create.
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Concider the possible outcomes of both. Which way would help you? You are the victim in this situation. What that man did is awful and I am so sorry for the position he’s put you in. If the family is made aware of what happened how do you think they’d react? And if some choose to still be there for him, how will that affect you? There are only 2 things that matter. You being able to heal, and making sure he’s not able to do this to anyone else. Does anyone bring their kids to visit him? Prisons are not the tight ship most think they are. Visitation rooms are often packed with a hundred people and only a couple of CO’s. My first husband was in prison for 1 1/3 for burglary and the things I saw happening in those visitor rooms are beyond what I want to put into words. Inmates absolutely have physical contact with their families.
Tell them . You have to . Your mom won’t be mad . Guilty feeling yes but more so if you let her keep treating him like a decent person and then she finds out even later . You will feel better yourself once it’s out .
First if you have not already talk to a therapist, they will help you navigate these feeling and advise how to move forward with whatever you choose.
In order for you to heal you need to tell your Mom.
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I agree with earlier comments. You should write him telling him how you feel and let your mom read it to. That would hopefully bring you some closure and get it off your chest.
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Don’t tell your mother. It won’t fix it for you. In fact it may make it worse. For one your mother may not believe you. Or she will and blame herself for not seeing it sooner. So send him a letter. Tell him you know what he did to you and unless he wants the rest of the family informed, he should not mention you to them. Either he has to tell them what he did or leave you alone. I bet he opts for leaving you alone. In the meantime, seek therapy for yourself.
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Absolutely not. You need to tell her. Tell her that you don’t want to hear about him and your daughter is completely off limits to him. Tell her the truth.
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Tell them but not who it is maybe see if that helps a little
I had something happen and I was believed but told to keep quiet 
I would write him a letter and get your frustration out and how it affected you. s
Say exactly as you did here but to him. Why because the prison reads these letters they go pn to him or passed on for authorities to press charges by the state. Let the state bring on the charges you write everything they would need to bring the charges.But write it to him talking directly to him and telling him how it has affected you how you react as a wife as a monther and it’s not fair. Trust me write it like a vicimt impact statement to the abuser. I am 99 % sure this will be flagged taken and investigated.
What can your family say you wrote to him, you have no idea the state would read your letter.
Your good togo.
Remember people places and times when your writing it out. It’s going tobe very hard lots of tears but it will set you free.
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You need to call the warden. You need to come forward. He’s trying to get access to a mini you.
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No. Tell her you will not be in contact with him and won’t send photos of your daughter because he abused you as a child. She can decide what to do with that information, but you are not obligated to do him any favors. Take care of yourself and your own family.
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This really is the wrong place to ask this question. For every person who advises you in one direction another will tell you the opposite. That will only add to your inner conflict. Please if you are ready to speak to someone about this,( which by posting this I would say you are) Seek some professional counselling. The person will help prepare you to actively address this issue with your family and help you finally find a road to healing.
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Stop protecting him
It’s sad that you know he’s locked up but you still live in fear
Even if he’s locked up you can still charge him
And please even if you don’t tell anyone like family
Or the cops
At least go see someone like a therapist so you can move on
If it helps you keep him far far far away
Write the letter exsplaining to him how you suffering and you still afraid to tell the family . Close the letter but don’t seal the letter and pass it on to your mom . She will definitely read it before sending it. And thats how they will find out .
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Yes your mom loves her brother, but she loves you too. It’s a different kind of love. If it’s important to you that she knows , then do it. I kind of agree with a previous fan that mentioned writing him a letter about it, vent it out, and let your mom read it. Topics like this are hard to bring up no matter how close you are to your family. Will your mom feel regret, remorse, of course. This is about you. Tell your husband, if he doesn’t already know. Yes, keep your daughter off limits. Good luck and God bless you.
Being a mother myself I can tell you that I would be so upset if I was still treating someone nice that abused my daughter. Tell your family what he did.
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You need to tell her. It won’t be easy, for you or her, but she needs to know. My mother was in denial for a long time, but she also believed me. No matter her reaction, stay strong and don’t let anyone guilt you. You did nothing wrong. Many of my extended family still won’t speak to me and it’s been 30 years - but I found out that my perpetrator was inappropriate with them, as well. It’s a difficult thing for people to deal with and I’m not sure it ever gets easy but you’ll feel lighter when you’ve spoken your truth.
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Coming from a place of having been abused by a trusted family member…I can only tell you my experience. When I told I wasn’t outright questioned and disbelieved. It was more an underlying disbelief, like they weren’t sure if I was lying, or had made it up, or even imagined it, made it out to be something it wasn’t. No one ever said…I don’t believe you, but there were looks and sometimes comments that would bring it up and make it uncomfortable for me to be around. I don’t know what to tell you to do. It’s been many years for me and still sometimes I cry myself to sleep more for how it makes me feel than anything else. People have suggested speaking to a therapist. I do suggest maybe giving it a shot. I’ve contemplates it myself but always stop short of actually doing it. Many more people have lived through worse than me and I just feel like I need to let it go.
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Tell her. She deserves to know. It’s not up to you as the victim to hold his secret. You need and deserve the closure and to be able to move on from what he did to you. If for no other reason, than to keep your mother off your back and insisting you send pictures of you and your family to him she needs to know.
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Sounds like you have PTSD, you need to get into counseling
Be honest an do what best for yourself!
Oh Hun huge hugs. Holding all of this in is terrible for you. I personally would not write him a letter. But I also would seek counseling for this. They would be the ones that can help you navigate telling your mother the truth.
Actually I would tell her. I don’t see why everyone needs to be there to support him. He is obviously a bad person. As a sister I would be devastated to think my brother had done this but as a mother I would be even more destroyed to think my daughter had gone through something like that as a child and never told me. I would hate the fact that I had told her to introduce her daughter to this molester.
It’s a terrible situation but you are not the cause and it should not be allowed to continue.
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You are not responsible for your mother’s feelings or reactions. That’s on her.
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Don’t keep it to yourself. You are not hurting them he hurt you. I wish I would have told my parents before they passed away.
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Also get into a support group with others who have been through the same thing.
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Your family absolutely should know.
Trust me. If you were to tell them what he did to you. No body will believe you. (Been there). Not until he comes clean.
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Sit them down & tell them. He was wrong & you did NOTHING wrong. Remember you are a brave woman & you won’t let this beat you. Also if needed talk to a therapist. Be strong 
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Ok I protected my grandpa for 16 years because I didn’t want to hurt my mom. Everyone saw him as the war hero and such a great guy. Recently I reached out to my mom and told her and genuinely it went in one ear and out the next. I didn’t get any of the closure I needed. I wouldn’t send him a picture of your daughter that would absolutely make me sick. If your mom isn’t reading the letter maybe take this chance to write him a letter and express how much of a shit person he is sometimes it can help you cope.
Wow… It’s time to stand up for yourself… And realize that You matter… You need to tell them… But I dam sure wouldn’t be sending any pics… I am so sorry you have no one in your family to turn to… I realize you love them and don’t want to hurt them… But your hurt and pain matters… Is this what you would want your children to do… To continue to be silent… I would say… Pull up your big girl panties and get some therepy also… To help you deal with all of this… But quit hiding… You did nothing wrong… And it is not wrong for you to come out and share your pain… Thoughts and prayers… I really hope you find the strength to stand up and quit letting this rule your life… You deserve much better. But you have to be the one to give it to you… How do you know he never did this to anyone else and they are still hiding in fear as well… You got this… Show your child how to live by breaking the cycle…if you don’t break it… Who will???
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You deserve to try to feel at peace… let it out. You are NOT responsible for taking care of anybody’s feelings but your own.
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As a mama I would want to know. I wouldn’t want to be loving and treating someone good who hurt my babies. You and your mama deserve to talk about it. He wasn’t thinking about hurting the family when he was abusing you.
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You can’t move on until you free your pain. You deserve to tell them and be at peace. Your feelings matter!
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Let it out! You dont want him harming your daughter or any of your relatives kids- given he will be released. Writing him a letter is also a terrible idea.
I’d write him and tell him how big of a piece of shit he is. 
You need to get therapy to help handle how your feeling. Then tell your family with your husband by ur side for support.
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No tell them why u will not write or want that pig to have a picture of your daughter
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Get a therapist to
help you get to a point where you do feel safe talking about it.
Keeping to yourself only gives him power over you still, and he’s not worth it - you are and rediscovering your worth will help you to move forward.
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I’m so sorry that you’ve been living with this and continuing to. I agree counseling would be a great idea and can help you tell your mom. Don’t send him anything. For your sake and your family he doesn’t have any right to know anything about you. I wish I could be more help to you!
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Write your mum a letter 
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I’m so sorry you had to/are going through this. I went through something a little similar. Personally, I would tell at least your mom, if she is who you are most comfortable with in your family. If not, find that person and tell them. As far as getting through it, I’m not really sure what to say, because I haven’t exactly worked through mine yet either. Just know that it is not your fault it happened. Also, it does not define who you are. If you ever need someone to talk to or vent to that’s been through something similar, feel free to message me anytime. I will help the best way I can. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find the most love and support imaginable, because everyone needs someone.
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Tell your family and then start therapy for yourself.
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Oh girl… Send him a note. Lettem know you REMEMBER EVERYTHING! AND TO NEVER EVEN SPEAK UR NAME EVER AGAIN!
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Stop protecting everyone’s feelings and get help for yourself he is in prison but not being punished for what he has done to you yet you are being punished every day
Tell police tell family get your self some release from your own torture
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Your mumma would want to know. They love you too don’t think they don’t. He’s in prison for a reason. You better tell your family everyone who listens I garuntee your world will become brighter. Denying your truth yourself you can’t even say the words you need the world to know so you can protect you baby what if he gets out and your mumma has him around your daughter!! Tell everyone make noone else a victim. Please tell yourself whatever you have to but don’t for one second think you are helping anyone by keeping it to yourself xxx you are beautiful and strong and a mumma you can do it. They won’t blame you you were six years old xxx
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Please tell! He was the adult. You were a child. I,too, was molested. Please talk about it! Get it out!
Your Mom would want to know
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The only letter I would write to him would be to tell him you’ve told your family everything and that he can never hurt you again.
It’s not your fault it happened! It took me 4 years to be able to tell my mom it was happening to me, and when I did I was able to start healing, mentally and physically. It’s taken me a long time to get over and not be angry, but once you’re able to fully let go it’s wonderful!!! Do tell her, but make sure you have your support system with you or nearby when you do
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Tell. Her. No way. Àfter what. He did. You. Tell. Her. The. Truth. Get. Mad you will. Begin. To. Heal
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Just. Tell. Her. Tell. Your. Husband
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Go to your phone and call RAINN - which is a National Sexual Abuse Hot Line, phone number is 1-800-656-HOPE. It began in 1994. They will help you with the flash backs, your nightmares, how to talk to your family and be there through your recovery. Does not matter if your assaults happened a day ago, a month ago, a year or twenty years ago. You need to do this for you. You deserve to be happy, and to be at peace. If your parents can’t support you, then it’s on them. This is not on you. Sexual assault or physical assault is having power and control over another person. You were a young child when this happened to you. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
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Don’t give him that power! Tell your family. It’s real, it’s raw, & yeah it may hurt them, & they might not believe you… That’s on them. If you don’t feel comfortable contacting him, don’t. Also, ask that the rest of your family not send him pictures containing you guys to him as well.
Also, seek therapy babe. It helps. You’re a survivor. You got this.
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Kept abuse hidden for 10+ years because I didn’t have proof and the one thing I was told is we wish you would’ve spoken up sooner, they’ll have your back regardless, you are stronger than you think, and if your not ready to confront him or tell your family, then just don’t have contact with him. Best of luck
Yes I agree with a lot of the others. Write him a letter telling him that you remember what he did to you and detail everything that he did. Unburden yourself in the letter. Tell him you want no contact with him because of it. Make copies of the letter. Send the letter first so you don’t back out. Then sit down with your mum and tell her you didn’t know how to tell her so your just going to give her a copy of the letter that you sent to him. Leave her with the letter and tell her you will give her time to process it and for her to contact you when she wants to talk about it. You need to do this for YOU!!! If you feel you need therapy after this then seek the help but at least you’ve made the start
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Your feelings are definitely more important than theirs. You’ve been abused. It’s not ok.
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I would tell your family what he did
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If I were you I’d write him a letter letting him know what a disgusting pig he was and tell him to leave you and the rest of your family alone or you’d let them know what he did to you. Also let him know how you feel about what happened to you all those years ago.
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I did tell and I didn’t see that a**hole again until I was in my late 20’s at my aunts house. I didn’t speak to him and wouldn’t let my baby girl around him either. About a yr or so later he died and I celebrated. You need to tell your mom. I told my mom and she wouldn’t have anything to do with him after that. Talking with a trusted friend or therapist does help. This is why I told my babies tell me whenever someone is creeping them out, fight like Hell if anyone touches you there and you tell me. It amazes me how many of us this happens to.
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Find a therapist and get their help. They can help you deal with your family too.
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Tell everyone in your family that if you find out they as much show him a picture of your daughter let alone forward him one that you will never speak to them again, undoubtedly they will ask why and you can promptly say “ask him”, let him come clean or not, but dont let fear drive the boat on this one, protect your daughter and protect yourself
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Please tell them & If they end up “hating” you for opening up then they’ve got issues.
Family or not, abusers should NOT be protected by ‘family’ …
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It will change your family but that’s his fault not yours. Your mom loves you and would want to know. Know that you didn’t hurt her he did by hurting you.
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You’ve got to tell!!! Someone, anyone! If you don’t feel right telling family yet, tell a friend, or therapist, just tell, get it off your chest and your mind!! I was raped by my best friends boyfriend when I was 13… I’m now 36 and have his child in my behavioral classroom… I never told… this is the hardest thing ever, but I’m now seeing a therapist and it helps!!!
But I agree with others, write him a letter, tell him how you feel and what he did to you, and wish him a slow painful death 
prayers to you!
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It’s not about them. It’s about you. Tell your family what happened. Your mental health and peace is more important
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Let it out and start healing
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I think your mother will be upset with herself for letting this happen. It too me YEARS to tell my mother about my story. She still knew, just a mom sense. Anyways she was so mad at herself. But she NEEDS to know. When he does get out you family will let them around their daughters… He’s has now been in prison, it changes you. It hardens you he may go even farther now. Protect your family. All of them.
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You need to tell your mom, please find a counselor
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Tell your family don’t protect the family predator
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The longer you hold onto the pain it is going to eat u up and eventually it is going to run your life don’t give that crap the power in your life tell your mom get it out there let go of it and try to move past it if something like that happened to your daughter you wouldn’t want her to hide it from you…
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This secret will slowly drive you down to the ground. You need to forgive yourself for not saying anything and get busy telling the truth. It will help you heal, to deal with this openly and honestly. Seeing a therapist isn’t a bad idea either as since you didn’t want to hurt others, you chose to hurt yourself. You may need help to heal and deal with the backlash of what you foresee coming. I wish you peace and love as you start your recovery from abuse. Hold fast…
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I think getting into therapy should be your first step. As you progress with that they can help you talk to your family. You don’t want to throw yourself in a situation as hard as this. It’s going to be triggering in ways you never knew. Things will be said and you should be prepared. It’s going to hurt but finding the right person will help you so much.
You can also write him a mock letter letting all your anger out at him. Then burn it and once you are ready rewrite him another.
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I’m sorry that happened to you first of all. I can relate, my cousin molested me at a very young age. I didn’t say anything to anyone for years, when I was 18 I was raped, didn’t want anyone to look at me like a broken person so I didn’t say anything. I’m 31 now, I just told my mom a couple years ago about my cousin, she told me she wished I would have said something then so they could have done something about it. I have nothing for him, he’s married with a lot of kids now, I wonder if he touches them, I wonder if he ever feels sorry for doing that to me.
Advice, tell your mom. Tell everyone. Don’t send him a picture, don’t send a letter. He’s locked up now, keep him out of your life.
Talk to a professional first .you will feel much better when you get it out .eventually you will build up the courage to tell your family .you might not be the only one he did that too!
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I usually do get notifications when someone posts in here though.
exactly the same thing happened to me. i told my mom at the time. she just thought i was lying. nothing was done. my mom is passed now.
Go see a counselor ,they will help you work this out.